Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: Sorey Not Sorey
Episode Date: December 20, 2018Everyone's having sex on the latest episode of "Below Deck," and according to Kate, that leads to improved crew morale. Or does it? Come join us as we recap this episode full of dog humping, ...goth fashions, and loud screaming. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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We have a show coming up in Dallas the second show in Dallas. That's gonna be amazing the first show sold out
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We're just like super excited to be doing two nights in Dallas. We're gonna have a great great time. I know
At least I'm gonna be going to the roundup. That's for damn sure and hopefully Ronnie you'll come with me. Oh hell yeah, of course. You
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Our bonus episode is going it went up yesterday.
It's a top chef.
We're bringing top chef back to full recaps this Friday.
And also the crappy awards.
If you, in case you missed it, we,
so every year we do the crappy awards where we award
the best and worst on Bravo.
And for the first year ever, for the first time in seven years,
we decided to open up the voting to the public.
So there is an actual official ballot that you can vote on.
Just go to watchocrapins.com slash crappies.
You just go to the regular website.
You'll find the link there anyway.
And vote.
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We've already had like an extraordinary amount of votes
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It's a really fun ballot.
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And it's fun. So go do that. It's fun. Just like that. It's a really fun ballot. It's cheap. It's free. And it's fun. So go do that. It's fun.
Just like that. It's cheap, free and fun.
So today we are here to talk about below deck unless there's anything else that we have to get off our.
Oh God. We have sold enough. Jesus. Jesus. Ronnie, I'm warning you that, A, I just filled up my glass with some very strong iced coffee
and B, right before recording this, I decided to scotch guard some chairs and there are
hella fumes.
So I don't know what sort of bend you're going to get today, but it might be a little crazy.
Yeah, my sweet little innocent, untouched bend.
I like that you can get so high off coffee or fumes or scotch
card fumes. I mean, you could you could stick me with a horse syringe and I'm like, what?
Supposed to do something. I mean, it's your birthday party. I was like, these,
this bartender is not making these drinks strong. And so I just kept pounding back all these drinks.
Now, I guess this is a bad story to tell because they did work, you know But I think nothing's gonna work and then by the end I'm like
You're like you're out of that place. You're like James Kennedy being served drinks by Tom Sandevol
You can't taste the alcohol. It's not my fault. It's not my fault. I walk on the street like I'm the star
I'm a star here. I'm all'm a star I'm the star here I'm all for
equality but that whole has to show her mouth okay so here we are I still have
pneumonia rasping at you guys sorry but I feel a lot better but it's
probably gonna take a minute for that raster to go away because you know I'm a
pig so let's get to this shall we yeah Yeah let's get to it. Oh my god what a fun episode. This is good. We really got to see like
Kate just being in full Kate form full head bitch in charge. You know this
season to me reminds me of Jurassic Park and I know I make that analogy a lot
with a lot of different things but here's why because the first half was all
about Chandler being just a terrible, terrible
boason and the deck crew being in disarray.
That was like the T-Rex, you know?
It's like, oh my god.
This T-Rex, when will this T-Rex ever go away?
It's terrorizing all of us.
We hate the T-Rex.
The most dangerous thing there could ever be.
But then the second half is now like, oh, now the interior is in full disarray
and like Velociraptor Kate has come out
and she's like, no, I'm going to just destroy Laura
right now.
Clevver girl.
You know?
Yeah, because Kate has come very patient this year.
I mean, I know that there would probably be
some argument with that, but I think she was pretty much
even nice to Caroline from us.
Yeah, and of course it was not high. Like, oh, she really is so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so in this episode. And so that's why when Caroline was freaking out, we were like, you're not even getting
the worst of Kate right now. You know, but Laura is. The Lord is. And well deserved lady.
Well deserved.
Sorry, sorry. I'm sorry. It's not right. Sorry. Hey, she has remona. She says Ramona. I guess Ramona says it like Canadians.
Sorry, sorry. Yeah, Ramona says sorry. She says, sorry. It's like a company. It's like a company
that produces sewers, a sewer. Yeah, sorry. Like, sorry, sorry. Yeah. So previously,
Ashton died, so we're still getting over that.
That was rough. And then Josiah, we opened this episode with everybody working.
Josiah is taking out the trash.
And Tyler's like, hey, Riley, what do I do with this washcloth?
She's like, oh my god, I love being the boss.
It's not like I want to get you know out my whipping chain
Or maybe I do it's either yeah fucking do you have problem with the fucking bone chain
He's like I'm right here
Okay, it's like Laura. I'm how's the laundry going she's like I think we're in a good place a
Oh my god, you're giving us Canadian jokes too. Thank you. We're pretty good.
Eeeh. Eeeh. Eeeh. Eeeh. Eeeh.
Okay, welcome to Knock Off and then Laura goes, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you,
just like, just I just go to get this annoying.
You got this annoying. Oh God.
Yeah, she's resorted to sound effects already. I don't know what this boat does to people.
Yeah, it's okay.
It's like, I would like to tell Laura that she's clearly full of shit and she doesn't know
as much as she thinks she does, but I'm just going to let her demonstrate that instead
because it's just so fun.
Yeah, sometimes you need to let a spool of fail unravel itself. Yeah.
Uh, then she tells Josiah, at least we have us, the normal ones.
I wouldn't go that far.
I would have just stopped at least we have less.
Okay.
So, Ashton and Ross are sharing to be her own dick.
And he's like, Ashton's like, cheese, brie.
I don't think I've heated proper cheap with you.
There was quite a special name when I got back.
And he gave me a hug.
When you hugged me, I felt safety, bro.
It was like safety.
Russ like, Will, it's all via said I care about you.
I just need to grab you.
Oh no, I didn't know whether to smack you or suck your dick.
Either way, I felt good. I
Wanted to take your ears and I wanted to hold them like handlebars and pretend you were a bicycle
And I had to get all the way dantian real real fast
I want to take both of your botox grab the mitch because there's a lot to grab there and just smash me into each other like I was the symbolist in orchestra.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
You'd be the simplest, or be the fluidist, Bray.
The flattest.
So Tyler and Riley are working, and he's like, yeah, you know, she's my boss, but I want
to see what she's like afterwork, preferably with the clothes of.
Yeah. Yeah!
Yeah!
I like that. It's like, it's not that I like it. I am like astounded at how simple his
like grossness is. Like usually someone like Joao or some of the other super problematic
guys will have, will be like slightly coy and like laugh at their like Joao would say something like
Ready to make boss, but I'm excited to see what she's like outside of work if you know what I mean
You know, but this guy's like I like to see her outside of work with no clothes on
I want to fuck her what I'm saying is I want to bang her like
You're not even coy in your problematicness. Yeah
So it's like hey, we going to put the toys in?
Yeah, I want to put my toy in you.
Whoa!
Whoa, Tyler!
You got to finesse that a little bit.
You got to finesse that.
Listen, in 2018, mix your drinks, not your messages, okay?
Just be very clear with your messages.
So Riley's like, are you psyched to go out?
And he's like, yeah, I'm psyched!
He's my first time. And she's like, yeah, say, he's my first time.
And she's like, yeah, have fun.
Just make sure you wrap it tight.
He's like, yeah, I don't want to be kidding.
Talk about you, he's kidding.
He's like, I don't want to be a bit into heady.
And she's like, oh my God.
This is the artist, most amazing couple,
Blodek is adding a while.
I know, it's been really strong. This is the artist, most amazing couple, Bolo Deck is Adam, oh wow.
I know, it's been really strong.
So then we got like, you know,
in honor of Ashen being alive,
we get an extended Asshot.
Like, first we see his big old booty naked,
like a exposed booty in the little Mosaic situation.
And then it like zooms in and it's like,
his butt is still there.
And then he's like yanking his his genes like around it
Which is like it requires like pulleys and ropes because it's like all right. Let's like get it around the hump
All right, let's make that a 45 degrees outside. We're almost around the ridge of it because it's like a big ass
And it's like gets like like finally around it and all right
Here's what I want crew. I want to drop both the Astins
ass cheeks at the exact same time.
It's going to be fancy.
God damn it.
All right, we need three shackles
on Astins ass cheeks right now.
Okay, three shackles.
God damn it.
So then of course you get another little gay
poor scene with Ross and Astin.
And Ross is like, you're going commandebrach
and Astins like, it's easier ed bra and Ashton's like it's
easy to exist. Tyler pops his head and he's like because he's saying he wants to have sex later
and this way he can take his pants off fast and put his penis in something.
So they're getting ready to go out.
Everybody gets ready.
They they pile into the van and
ask them like, this is like a
breather free.
She. Yeah.
I'm like, you just wrote that.
And then to Lori's like, you look
hope, babe.
And then they drive like two feet
in there at the bar.
And then Josiah goes, all we hear
he's like so disappointed in their short distance.
Like we could've walked.
I was looking forward to a masterful game of slug bug,
but I suppose we'll have to hold that off till later.
I was hoping we'd have a long car ride
from during which I could plan out my lessons for Master Pierson
when I returned to the mainland.
I spy with my little eye, Caroline.
Oh, it's a stop sign.
Oh, Caroline should be happy for the first time we obeyed her.
Oh, sorry, it was just a sign.
So...
So Laura's like, writing me just walkie and kids like
ah, complaining.
This is gonna be your Laura.
I'm never gonna make it through our recaps because that was amazing.
Why don't we just walkie?
Oh my god that was amazing.
Why don't we just walk?
I don't know.
I haven't committed to a lure.
I'm still fine.
It has to be.
It has to be that.
That's the lure.
Now we've found what lure is going to be.
And now I'm going to be impersonating you and impersonating her.
That's fine.
That's how it's going to be.
So Kate's like complaining.
And basically they all go in and start ordering drinks and stuff. So okay, it's like complaining and
Basically they all go in and start ordering drinks and stuff and Laura's like can I have it to killing period?
I'm it's a key that girl and everyone's like
Cuz she just doesn't stop talking. Yeah, like it's like non stop and they're sitting around the table and they're ordering and she's like
Adrian hold my hand day. He's like, okay, I do miss those sweet affections. So then she's like, what do you think in Adele
and Nona salad is, hey?
It's like, look at the description, okay.
And he's like, I think it sounds naughty.
I'm like, what about Adele and Nona sounds naughty.
Doesn't that mean like a grandma salad?
It doesn't sound like a grandma salad? It doesn't sound like salad
One is like a cast member on ladies of London one is from real house. I was in New Jersey
Not sexy
Remember I don't use yeah
I was hooked on heroin for years and years and years and I slept with a statue or a thought was a handsome man
How dare you bring that up? I'm actually the statue or I thought was a handsome man. How do you bring that up?
I'm actually the girl in the program it turned a prince into a frog
I was so hard I
Wanted to be an usher at Phantom of the Opera, but turns out I was just at a local wagon mama. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
That was funny.
That was blowing my nose.
It's okay.
OK, so yeah, she's like, Nama Thali is a Gavette sexy.
So then speaking of getting horny, Tyler's
over sitting next to Riley.
And he's like, yeah, you know, I work hard.
I play hard with Medic.
And she's like, I was literally just thinking that.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then he looks that they're like I was literally just thinking that
And then he looks that they're like yeah, you like that and then we get a shot of his tattoo and
We don't get a full shot and I'm trying to see what it says. Could you see what it said being?
I didn't even bother because I have I'm just like morally opposed to tattoos that look like botulism
Like it got a lot of tattoo, but I think it says something dynamite. Oh, God. I was like, I can't. I was like, I saw it and I was like, this is not going to
be good. I'm not. I just can't. I'm not going to zoom in on this one. I'm just going
to let it. I'm just going to pretend, you know, because you know, some tattoos, I shouldn't
say botulism. It's more like, what is that when you have like staff infection?
Staff infection.
Yeah.
Staff infection.
Yeah.
So, they're thinking of it.
I'm like, I'm pondering it.
I'm pondering the staff infection.
At least that infection is employed, right?
So, get it.
It's on the staff.
Oh, okay.
That's a looping day today. I Dated day. Oh scotch card. Let's make puns about staffing in person now
so
Kates like you know what I want chicken and I thought she was making a joke about the guests who like she was right back
Yeah, cuz then Laura says you know what I want to order chicken and everyone's like
Ha ha ha chicken. Yeah, that's funny chicken and then Laura tries to get it on on the joke and think
Check it only for poor people
It's over Laura
Everyone jokes. I want me to joke Laura. You're too late for the pal on in case I can't and then she just stopped and looks at her
And then flips open her menu and looks down.
Oh my God.
You ruined it Laura.
You ruined it.
So Laura starts rambling on and she receives really what I think
is always like such a special honor,
which is the dissolve montage that makes you look like an idiot,
like just rambling and rambling on.
I probably should've gone about 12 in the minute. Yeah, she really has.
And I think that she really does ramble on that much.
Yeah.
Because it doesn't look like it's cobbled together.
And then everyone has a face like, oh geez,
he's she gives a gain.
Yeah, especially Kate and Josiah.
They're just like staring at each other like,
we left our room full of free toes for this.
And it's such basic stuff.
She's one of those people who's always talking
but always talking about nothing like
Red drinks are always the best drinks in my way. Oh
You know, it's not what yeah, you know, I talk I buy the road once and he had a stomach and I said
Like oh my god, you know what I love I love listening to the radio
But I also love not listening the the radio, a, you know,
sorry, not sorry, you're like, thanks for brilliant observations.
Who grew up with the cassette player?
It's like a, who remembers TV in the 80s, a?
Who here remembers SC TV, a?
Mm-hmm. Why do I have that Laura does belly dancing?
I don't know why it does.
She may have mentioned it as like one of those things in the montage.
You know what I really like belly dancing, eh?
I like belly dancing. Does anyone like using your feet to walk?
Laura, I don't know what's wrong with you,
but you need to settle down.
I don't know. Maybe she's just in love with the sound of her own voice. Ha ha
Well some people are in abusive relationships that make sense
What
She loves this not a firm voice. She's in an abusive relationship
Look at all you're like what? Oh
She's being a
Because her voice is not pleasant to listen to so it's like her listening to it
It's like her being in an abusive relationship with her voice.
I was like, don't tell me this, I started worrying.
I was like, no, now we can't make fun of Laura, I feel for her now.
Come here, my girl, you little bad.
Don't worry, you're still allowed to make fun of Laura.
I asked Matthew Pearson, he said it was okay.
Approved.
Hello, this is Lisa Rina.
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So Kate's like hmm
So I would love to talk about bottles versus cans but
Tyler where are you from and he's like
Washington, but I went to school. I was gonna go to school for a track about I got in the car
rack and it was gnarly.
Like 10 of us went over a cliff, but like no one died,
but like it ruined my athletic career.
And I'm like, oh, really?
Because for, to me, it looks like you just brought on
final destination to this boat.
Yeah.
Okay, you was eight death.
And now you're bringing it to the boat.
It tried to get Ashton.
Who's next?
Yeah, exactly.
Well, I thought it was sort of peculiar that he said that 10 of his friends
went over a cliff in a car and then it taught him not to play it safe. I was like, what
part about driving off a cliff is playing it safe? I shouldn't laugh at it because it
doesn't, you know, it probably wasn't, who knows, maybe it wasn't his fault. Maybe
they were on like a bus or whatever but like it just like driving off
The side of a cliff and then teaching you not to play it safe
I was like buying think would be like to distract myself into five different seat belts and have wear cushions at all times
Yeah, I just were like condoms on my hands like I would be so safe. I know, but I know
Realistically, I do know what he was saying. He basis like, life is short, so don't have it.
This car analogy just goes too far,
because then Kate's like,
so you have to like shift gears.
And that's when he started forest riding
and she's like in the woodland.
Which I like that Kate's getting all this info.
Yeah, in the woodland,
there was funny that she said in the woodlands,
like they were in like the like the shy or something like, you know, like, like, uh, whatever.
So then we see Riley eating a suggestive onion ring.
Uh, she's like, like, maybe being sexy eating an onion ring.
Yeah, you know what this ring looks like of a vagina?
Exactly.
Yeah, I don't know that I've ever seen someone try to pull off a sexy onion ring.
I know, but it's sure made me hungry. I'll tell you that much.
So now, uh, Kate and the Tyler Gus, wait, would she eat the sexy onion ring?
Tyler Gus. Whoa.
This is home right here.
What?
I don't play it safe anymore.
If I see none in ring, I'm going to eat none ring.
I'm sticking my dick in that onion ring. I just said it. I don't wanna be around the bush.
What I'm saying is the ring looks like those rings that ladies put in their vagina
to keep them from having babies when I have sacks with them.
So that's exactly what I was just thinking.
So then Kate is like, okay, let's have some fun here.
We have a big day tomorrow, we have to like, you know, turn over a bunch of beds,
then turn over all the beds that Laura tried to turn over.
So, should we just go back to the boat or should we go out? What are we gonna do?
And Laura's like, go out, eee.
And Kate's like, mmm, yeah, but you just got here, so I'm not really asking you.
And then Laura just stops and starts her and everyone's quiet like oh shit
But like no one like comes to her defense either because they're like no she's kids kind of right
Yeah, and I just like definitely be it even awkward
No, and Laura's like um, I just got here and I was working here
Or it's like, um, I just got here and I was working here. It was uncool to disrespect me in front of the crew.
Eee.
Doesn't feel good.
So Laura, Ash and Tyler grew up to the side to smoke.
And then Laura's like, Eee.
She's like, that's like her sad voice when she looks sad.
She's like, Eee.
Eee.
Eee.
Eee.
So, Ash and basically kicks Tyler out.
He's like, alright, get out of here.
Till Rost will be with him next.
So, he just like, cuddles up to Laura and he's just like, so what's wrong?
Pretty little bit.
What's going on with you?
What's so sad?
Why are you so sad?
What the long face, you know?
Yeah.
He's like, hey, it's Dina.
And she's like, she's like hey, it's Dina and she's like She's like giving a face to Kate
She's like I'm just sensitive a
And meanwhile age which is by the way like
She's clearly displaying that role of like you know, like come comfort me
Which is but like here's the thing like if we're Caroline
I would be like yeah someone does need to go give her a hug. But Laura actually can hold her own.
Like, she's not afraid to speak up.
So this whole, like, I guess, and just sensitive
is like clearly a, like, it's, you know,
it's affected if you ask me.
So then, meanwhile, Adrian's just still trying
to cock block from afar.
He's like, Ashton's like a real terminator.
He came back from like the future to like, Ashton's like a real terminator. He came back from like the future
to like, hit on girls. Like, it's a little bit of a, a little bit of a stretch in terms of
metaphors. I know my jelly reference more. Yeah. He is so jelly. It's hilarious that he cannot
contain himself. And later in the episode, he does one of my favorite things ever, which we'll
get to. So Laura,
Laura tells Ashton, she's like, all the bolts I've worked on are regardless of my place in hierarchy, never ever have I been disrespected.
And it's like, it may, it's happening. It's like, it's a punch in the chest. It's a shame a damn shame when people are like that
It's like come here. I'll gochya
It's that's the line that says this girl wants me bone and a rovin right
He's like yummy. Yeah, let me give you a hug and remind you that your future son is gonna leave better revolution against the ribots
All right, so you're gonna get gigantic ams.
So, you'll have visions of a nuclear amigain. So Riley is like, I need to go to the
bathroom and then she gets up and just like rubs as she gets up she rubs her boob right across Tyler's back
Settle T is not a strong point between these two
Yeah, so funny. She's like got it. Yeah
Lick me on her way to the bathroom. Yeah
so Riley
So the guys go to the bathroom Tyler and Ross go to pee
So the guys go to the bathroom. Tyler and Ross go to pee. Assuming that she went to the girls room, you know, and she didn't.
And she's not at all.
They're peeing and Tyler's like, hey, bruh, I'm thinking of sticking my wig in that jar candle,
cuz Riley, yeah, that means I'm gonna fuck her, bruh, that was you.
And Ross is like, yeah, go for that. You'd be doing meth, blah blah. And then Riley's like,
Oh Jesus, I hear you fucking idiot. They just are like, Ross, like, oh shit, he'll be
giving in. You know what? So they like, they like, go outside to the bar and Ross like,
well, funny thing happened in the bathroom. I made fun of Riley and she was right there and she comes up
She's like shut the fuck up. I'm speaking a
Really you were joking. Yeah, why don't you shut the fuck up then and he's like
Come on now. Come on. She's like, um, do not fucking tell me to just and first of all Ross, you're the one who kiss me and second of all
I don't have a second of all but I'm not done yelling at you yet. So just fucking stand there little person
He's just like hiding in his hands and Laura me was like this is the least wildest yakrula they ever worked on
Like what have you been like to have bees B's SS a B's or something like that?
Oh, yeah.
Bits.
Little Abiza Shade.
Bits.
Who told you about a B's a bitch?
I do charities for poor people.
So now they go back to the boat.
Ross is like trying to open up a beer bottle with a muddler,
like one of those, like, oxo muddlers.
And Laura comes up and is like, is that a dildo, eh?
It's like, if that's a dildo, like, it makes me wonder
what she thinks a dick looks like.
Yeah, she's like, I've never used a dildo.
I was like, yeah, you don't say.
You don't say, because you think a mudler is a dildo.
So Tyler gets in bed with Riley and they're like, yeah.
You want to stick some toast to my dostard?
If that means fucking your butt, the get the skinnier.
It's Cuddle and by Cling by cuddle I mean sticking my dick in your vagina and going forward and backward and forward and backward until I eject some
liquid okay great
so Laura is now singing higher and higher and higher and basically the whole boat the hates are now the boat is like a live and hates are yeah
Ross is literally just looking at the camera Ross is basically turning to Jim from the office
He's like he's a step away from putting Laura's stapler in a jello mold
Yeah
Yeah, so it's like why am I why are you still taping this?
Why is this why is this person on this boat singing why is talking about her he's still being taped like 10 years later
Seriously
So so Josiah walks away Josiah is just like barely containing himself
He's like I've put on a big puffy shirt and I've talked it into tight jeans hoping to contain my rage, but I don't think it's working anymore
I've got gel that it would only lasted for so long before the hair pops out. So it's
like, where are you? She writes like, well, you're going. And he's like, too bad. And he hears
Laura say, they're spooked terribly about me. I can feel it. So he runs, course straight to bat to Kate and Ben. He's like, she's like, how's everything going down there?
And he's like, well, as I walked away, she said that she needed that we didn't like her.
I heard her as I walked away, as I walked away, as I walked away.
These thick stripes on my shirt don't lie, Kate.
So Kate's like, hmm.
I'm so tired of victim play. All right, let's do this. So she walks into the
salon with just like a new kind of cake to Kate.
Victim play. It's interesting. Yeah. Victim play. So she walks into the
salon with Josiah on her side and she's like now in full fake voice. Whenever
Kate is like really chirpy and high-pitched as you've mentioned,
you know she is about to come at you with some shit that just quietly devastated you.
So she's like...
And she's also got full on Tampa hair and she's drunk.
Yeah, she's just like on a rampage and of course when Kate's on a rampage,
that's when she's the friendliest. So she's like,
Laura, Laura, do you not like us? Do you like us, Laura? Laura, you don't like us?
Like, um, me not like you. Yeah. More like you don't like me.
Oh, why would why would you ever think I don't like you? Is it, is it because you were so
mean to me in front of everybody? Is that why?
Oh, I'm sorry. That was Laura who said that. Yeah Laura and then she's like she's like you're so mean to me I'm feeling
everybody ha ha ha and Kate's like oh I was was that because you were like um this
but as a disaster because that's not polite.
Yeah you said the interior was a disaster okay.
Yeah like you have no problems saying your opinions about me in front of the
entire cruise so.
I think this is not even fear, Keith!
I'm putting that sound.
Yeah, I hope you enjoy those three seconds where I was friendly to you just now
and it turned out all to be a joke just to set up the fact that you're the one who's implied to me.
Huh, upstairs Cheetos.
Laura's like, it needs a beer!
So, Kate passes the crewness and she's just like, like, going to bed and then you just hear Laura go,
where's wrong with people?
Yeah, because she and Ashen now go up to the hot tub.
Like Ashen's been waiting for this moment, like,
waiting for Kate to destroy Laura enough that he can then pounce.
So they're up by the hot tub.
Riley and Tyler are just like, fully like two little rabbits down there in their bed
and And then meanwhile back in the sky lounge, which is where that's Kate's room. She's
She and Josiah re-enter and kids like did I not handle that so well and Josiah has like no you are everything
everything
I've switched my lead just this away from mass of PSN to mistress Kate
everything. I've switched my lead just as a way from
Matthew P. S. N. to Mr. Skate.
So then Laura tells Ash
Danzig. It's not fear. I
whistle. Oh,
cheerder. So why do I
deserve you in tech? I don't
deserve that. And she's like
getting wound up and wound up
and wound up. Yeah. And then
Kate is telling Ross because, you know,
Ross is like a good little guy.
So he'll take everything to the rest of the boat.
So she's like, well, you see, little wine,
I'm just sensitive after Carol.
I made a sound like we're in a lion's.
Because it's like, I want to be inclusive,
but she's an asshole.
So I love when Kate says she wants to be inclusive.
That's just like hilarious.
I want to be inclusive. I hope you understood my sarcasm when you said she wants to be inclusive. That's just like hilarious. I want to be inclusive. I
Hope you understood my sarcasm when I said that it's very hard to tell when I'm being sarcastic or being sincere
Um a whole lot. I'm texting I'm texting one of our friends do it. I am recording and Ben and I are sending invites for the crappy awards
Yeah, right now as we record this podcast and so I had to interrupt to tell Ben we
got a text back. Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be? I'm excited to find out. We also got a text back on my end.
A semi-committal response. I know and we're writing these texts like, we have to know we're firming this up, we have to know today. And they're like, well, maybe, maybe karma on getting so basically the news is
that Marl Street has not fully committed just yet to the
crappies, but we're gonna work on it. Leah Remini is a
maybe it's official. Leah Remini is a maybe. Oh my god, I'm
taking myself the whole here just for Bullock deck. Okay.
So Laura, Laura, yeah, Laura's crying to Ashton.
So yeah, so she's like, she's mad because she's mad and she said,
oh, you told everyone your cheese, Jewel, which is, you know,
again, this is someone else coming in and taking new words.
The words she said were fine.
Why don't you just use those?
Why do you have to make up new words?
So she said she didn't say. What do you mean?
She's saying, oh, you told everyone your chiefs do this and that. That's not really what she said.
Like, you don't need to misquote the situation.
Hmm. Yeah. So, yeah, Laura's like, I was chiefs to A. And to be honest, no your Vista is not up to standards and yet, AING EEEE!
So then kids like...
Ha, well, she also dropped seven champagne glasses right before guests arrived and, you know what?
Hatsun's happened, but you know it's not an accident.
All the negative comments she said since she's arrived.
She annoys me so much I'm actually talking to a B.
Okay, all the negative things she said hit it boys other things she said other things she said say it in my head in my head in my head
head and then Laura's still going now she's like but there's shit everywhere like I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry What Kate was saying to you?
Nothing had nothing to do with you. What sorry, I've heard you do with Kate and her insecurities and she was taking on Kate right now
And you have to be the big hit piece and be a person who's larger than that and you don't have to say
Whatever that word was you were saying slouch
Sorry, whatever you were saying you don't have to say that word anymore. You don't have to make up strange words on this hotdog book.
Okay.
Yeah.
And she's like, I thought he was just a South Africa girl, Jack, but he makes me feel like
a friend from whom.
So I'm going to burn him now.
So basically they go to the, oh, then we cut to God.
This is my favorite part of the episode.
I can't believe I almost skipped it.
Then we got back to Ryler and Tyler still boney and then Ashton's like, yeah, and Ashton's like, we're gonna go to the
Craziness. And then the sex music starts playing. And then we get one of those
montage where it looks like 24 and all there's all everybody like hooking up
or going to sleep. And then two dogs fucking on the. Yes, that was one of the best
thing they've ever did. Because we had the 24 panels, we had the dogs having sex,
and Tyler and Riley having sex in the corner,
and then Ross just like passing out on a couch.
I like Ross, when he's,
it's time for him to go to sleep,
he's just like an armadillo on the side of the road,
just like time to curl up.
Yeah.
He's got a little hard shell,
he just curls up into.
Like a stink bug or a roly-poly. He's like,
have I made it to Saint Louis yet? So that's a little armadillos. I love that you got Armadillos
in your mind from when live show. I just never going to leave your mind now. No, Armadillos have
always. Armadillos been in my mind. So, me, while Salora and Ashen are going to go up to the sky,
that with a crow's nest, it's so hard. It's go up to the sky that were the crow's nest. So hard, this like beach club, sky deck and crow's nest.
So they're gonna go up the crow's nest.
So Adrian's like asleep in his bed and Laura goes down there to get like, I don't know,
whatever item she needs for going up the crow's nest.
She's like, open the door like.
Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?
Oh. I'm going up stairs the crow's nest like
cuddle with the guy that who's like your rival for me and he's like you're
a trashic oh really your tool three it and Calvier Lam Calvier Lam So Adrian is like so mad that I'm like treached and as she's like oh you go to put your bum in my face
You got it hand it to him. He knows how to stay on subjects
He really does so then we see like I'm footage of like it's like montage of everyone sleeping
So like we see the coverage moving in the crow's nest we see Ross
Like passed out now in his bed and his underwear. We see Tyler and Riley passed out. Riley sleeps like a corpse.
Did you notice that? She looked like she was like fresh from Pompeii. Like she just went through some like
pyroclastic, you know
volcanic ash
The map is like why don't they say?
And she's clinging the Tyler like,
yes, my God, my God.
She fully was caught off guard by a volcano in that shot.
I was like, what is, like it was the most corpsey
you could ever look, because it was like,
she was clinging to him, her mouth was like open,
her head was back, and like her other arm was like,
erect and like, cupped.
I was like, you're, you're an exhibition right now.
And then the chef has also been stopped by volcano, a Riley cano, or a Laura cano,
because he's like, God, I really can't figure her out. Maybe she's using me as some kind of game
to get to Ashton, but not cool. Yeah, not cool. What a sad game if you're using Adrian to get to someone.
It's like playing checkers with only like three checkers.
Like, oh, it's like Tic Tac Toe with only three squares.
It's like Tic Tac.
Like that's just a breath, man.
It's like Connect to.
Connect for.
Connect.
Disconnect. It's just like you just put chips anywhere you want.
And you're not even allowed to open the thing so they all spill out.
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Thanks, Loha.
Now let's get back to Blue Day. Oh, so the chef is like,
so do you have fun last night? And Loha is like, we didn't hook up it. Just making it clear.
Yeah. Hey, where's my duvet cover? He's like probably on the crow's nest. Remember where
you were hooking up? I didn't hook up. And then Ross and Ashton are talking about it too.
And Ross is like, brah, hangi.
And Ashton's like, hangi, bré,
say the freaking star, hangi.
I was like, I don't know what that means, but.
We should look at it right.
Meanwhile, Joe's on his phone.
What?
I'm looking at it up.
I think it means bone.
It seems like a bone.
I can't imagine a word, hungry, mean anything other than bone.
Well, it says, hungry is a traditional New Zealand Maori method of cooking food using heated
rocks buried in a pit oven, also called an umu.
He's like, oh, hungry in the umu.
He's like, hey, bro, did you make a tradition is the only cookery with rocks. Um, so Josiah me want Josiah's
Josiah says the Kate, Kate, how are you feeling this morning?
She just goes,
That's it, she just sighs. He's like, I get it.
That's it. She just sighs. He's like, I get it.
And where is the chef crying part? Because that's what I really want to get to. Um, when he's crying on the phone or when he's like clutching his pillow,
when he, oh, God, it's still so far away. But it was closer.
No, it's not there yet. Oh, so you just did the sound effect part.
That was also my favorite part. Oh, so you just did the sound effect for it. That was also my favorite part.
Oh, when Kate went.
As they just passed by each other in the hall.
Oh, that was actually, yeah, that was,
that really, I did not do that.
Laura sees Kate's passing in the hallway
and think, Laura, Kate passes and Laura goes,
ooh, and Kate goes,
ooh, and then she goes, kick us and there he goes oh
I mean they just walk off they're not even committing to actual words it's like
when people say I have no words they are literally living that out she makes
me so mad I have no words I only have
so captain leads inspecting ashes how are you campy how's it feeling how's it I only have... Eww. Mmm.
So Captain Lee's inspecting Ash is like,
how are you, Kempi? How's it feeling?
How's it feeling? I do this.
Kick!
Ha!
You got a toughen up.
I don't care if you almost lost your leg.
You got to be tough on my yacht.
Anyway, you're going to go find some Cheerios.
I'm going to go lay out now. Good talking, Kempi.
So then there's cleaning and someone's asking Tyler,
I think it's like Ross, he's like,
what happened with you and Raleigh Lewis and all that.
And Tyler's like, I don't even remember.
I mean, apparently we just cuddle, which is strange
because my penis feels like I just stuck it into a vagina,
which is what normally happens during sex.
So then in the galley, Laura's putting away dishes and
Josiah comes in, he's like, good morning, she's like, and he's like,
hi, and then he just stares at her and she ignores him while she puts on
plates and he's just sitting there like, hmm, look at this, it's the
jugular, it's the great plate jugular. I need to find her weaknesses so I can warn
master Pearson.
Kate me while I was just like, you know, Laura's been slowly getting on my nerves since
the day she started. So I'm not really sorry that I got frustrated. Hey new girl, I'm
the chiefs too and I have a voice too. And my voice sounds like this. Huh. I like that Kate says that Laura's been slowly getting on her nerves.
I'm like, Laura was on your nerves within like point two, microseconds of her sudden
ill-board.
Yeah, but Kate, I mean, she really has been working that mountain, D's.
So Tyler's like, head just like Kate. They're in the mess. And Josiah's like, head is I in Kate during the
mess. And Josiah's like, how are you feeling Mr. Sun glasses
inside? That's a big moon over where I come from. Look, you
wouldn't be able to see where we train. We should give you a big
dumpy sweater, want to call your Caroline. So kids like,
which bank did you sleep in Tyler? Riley's. Oh yeah.
Tell me everything totally just interested in him to be like oh my god oh my god
they're like jump onto the couch like tell us everything. I think it's really
cute to find out that Kate watches the good place like that's like that's
such a cute little piece of knowledge because Cause she's like, I don't think you're gonna like this.
Did you guys fork? Oh, is that what's from the good place?
Yeah, because she says what the fork? Yeah, it's physically
impossible to cast. So every time they talk about fucking
they're like, oh my God, we were forking. Yeah. So Tyler's like, I
don't think so. She's, ah! Where he's nagging?
Yeah, big spin here, she's, ah!
This is so great!
This is so great!
And here's some other news, Ashen and Laura spend the night in the cruise, and I was like,
Oh my god, oh my god!
Oh my god!
Two for one gossip, two for one gossip.
Isn't it a great cake?
This is the best morning of our lives!
Kurella Gav Gods are good for morale.
Everyone has extra power in their shop.
It's no fictitious.
Like I see these.
And then we see Captain Legion's sunbathing.
I'll tell you what's infectious.
A good time and a sundaeck.
Tell you what I'm addicted to.
Nature and God's light bulb.
Thanks buddy. I'll tell you what I'm addicted to nature and God's light bulb. Thanks, buddy.
I'll tell you what I love listening to my walk man as I soak in nature's rays.
Listening to a walk man while refusing to walk.
God, these are the days.
So then Laura.
Sorry, for some reason, you said something that made me think of like something we said on a show like nine months ago I just started to get a go. I'm so do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do about Yolanda Foster talking about Hollanda's sauce going Monday to his day Hollanda's. Remember that? No, but I like that you just implanted it as a
memory in my head. So now I always think that I'm remembering it, but it's really
just like a made-up memory. I accepted Ronnie with Yolanda Foster and Hollanda's
sauce and happy days all at once. So anyway, Laura's in the laundry room and she's like, it's called Ty, but I don't see
any water around here.
She's like, you know what?
Kate's negativity is like, we know those mosquitoes that like buzz around your head
and you're trying to go sleep, you can't because mosquitoes around you.
A, I'm like, yeah, we're watching you right now.
We got it.
Yeah, I'm a mosquito yeah, we're watching you right now. We got it. Yeah, I'm mosquito got a show.
Check that time.
I feel about Kate's negativity.
She's learned that you can't treat people this week.
And so, charred meaning, meaning, meaning.
So Kate, Captain and Shafer all up there,
talking about the new guests.
And it's all these couples who are co-charred ring together.
So there's not like one main one, which makes them all nervous couples who are co-chartering together. Yeah.
So there's not like one main one, which makes them all nervous, because after pleases everybody.
And one of them looks like Tony soprano.
A legend.
I didn't think he looked that mafia-ish, but maybe after all the people that have come
through this yacht, he seems mafia-ish.
My take on this group was that there were three different groups of people who wanted to
come on the boat, but they couldn't find a big enough group.
Each one of them couldn't find a big enough group to go with them. So
the producers were like, okay, you guys just all go together.
Yeah, exactly. It's like the discount, the discount cruise.
Yeah, exactly. So they're all just like shoved together. And clearly this has been sponsored
by Air Tahiti because we had like random footage of the plane and then getting off the plane which we've never had before on any below deck. I felt like I needed to point that out. It's important to point out
thing. This is also sponsored by Asa's, Asa's Berk dance troop or whatever.
We later find out that the wife of Tony soprano only wears big black robes.
Yeah, she's, she's special.
So, um, so Josiahs with Laura and she's like, eh, Josiah, eh, what happened last night in
this sky lounge?
Eh, and he's like, what sky lounge?
Huh?
She knows about Master Pierson.
She knows about Master Pi—oh, never mind.
You're talking about Kate, aren't you?
I'll tell you what I said the first time I saw the penguin. Uh-oh.
He's like, I overheard you, so I told Kate. It was probably all my fault. My bad Z's.
He's like, um, I think it was Miss Antiebre, then, and he's like, mm, you know, I wasn't keen on her at first,
but I absolutely changed my mind on people.
Have I changed my mind yet?
No, what I'm saying is a possibility.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day, am I right?
I don't want to, speaking of broken clocks,
I don't want another Caroline situation.
I had to explain to her what swatch meant three times. So next step is crew dinner and Riley's like, oh my God, you use capershaft.
I love capers.
And he goes, so if I use capers, it'll calm you down.
It'll keep me from getting hit.
And she's like, oh, that is so funny.
I'm not aggressive. Am I Ross? Am I Ross?
Ross is like, oh, actually, since you have an iPhone to my throat, I guess now
it'll be a good time to mention that when I made that joke, I was saying that I,
I wasn't making one of you as making fun of me because all the boat all the bros are making fun of me for trying to kiss you
Because who would ever try to kiss you know offense. Oh, oh, that knife has gotten a little closer, isn't it?
Then I took it the wrong way and I'm sorry
So they hug and Ross is like I'll just don't want her to kill me
so
Rye Rye Rye Lee and Tyler go go to bed again and now they bone again.
Yeah.
And maybe the first time they were just cuddling and now they're boning, I don't know, I'm not sure.
It looks pretty aggressive.
Like it was a lot of like horizontal movements.
Yeah, a lot of bone movement at the first time.
So let's just keep it up, bone.
I'm keeping it simple.
Listen, they're boning.
They're boning.
So now we see Adrian and Laura and Laura is getting ready for bed
And he's like, why don't you sleep in sexy lingerie? Isn't it nicer? She's like
So then he
He goes off to like wind his girlfriend now. This is my favorite thing
I love the men on this next the men on this show always do this He goes off to like wind his girlfriend. Now this is my favorite thing.
I love the men on this show.
Always do this.
They cheat.
Well, he's not cheating because they're in an open relationship
but still like you just got you just got turned down by a woman.
So of course you immediately call your girlfriend.
Like that is so lame of you to do that.
Right after you got turned down and it's so offensive
to watch as an ex-girlfriend of somebody.
But remember when Nico did it on the show?
When he was like, hello.
Yeah, I got to break up with you.
I want you back.
And it was all because he just kept getting either kept fucking
or getting turned down.
Yeah, well, he was getting scared that what's your name,
Breer, or whatever was going to like get getting to need you or something.
And so anyway, yeah, it's the next morning. Riley and Tyler had like loud sacks oh my god and Riley doesn't want
Tyler to gossip anyone and Adrian's on the phone with his with his girlfriend
and he's like oh you're so precious my love you're so cute I miss you so much I
missed the cuddles and the sweet attentions you know yeah I don't really speak much to my girlfriend, but like what's happening with Laura?
It's nice to call her because you know she expects nothing.
So if like I call her once she gets so happy. It's like so cute.
Like you're a prick. You're actually a prick.
He really is. So they get provisions brought back on the boat and then we got to Laura during laundry and she goes, ew, what is the laundry smell so shittier?
It's called dirty laundry for a reason.
Put detergent in there, Laura.
And so Ashen tries to bone her in the laundry room or whatever.
Okay, so now we get the boat tour and Tony's surprised us
at the bar pouring himself a drink which I love in a guest
Yeah, you know, did you notice by the way that right right before the guests came on when the crew lined up that the camera lingered on
Laura holding the champagne glasses down with her hand. I thought that was funny. Yeah
Very careful to close that she learned so that she learned yeah, I'm Richard's pouring himself that drink and he's like,
yeah, I'm gonna pour it myself. I love Italian, you know, I sweat olive oil and garlic.
Look, you probably literally do. Yeah, I was like, I can actually smell it from here.
So, yeah. Why do you smell delicious things? That's not fair. And just I was just watching him and he's
like, forget about it. Isn't that what they say in Italy? And I was like, oh, that is hilarious
But then Richard does keep going forget about it, but he's like forget about it
Forget about it
Kapaccia
So um yes now they're like moving the boat lots of drama. I'm like let's get that stern line off in a hurry goddamn it
I didn't finish my son telling for this bullshit
After that I just like saying after so I'm just gonna say that for a while
Hey everybody another chapter of the babysitter's club
of the babysitters club. Look, and then book club over.
I'm not here to babysit Jackasses.
So there's something with papaya and Josiah.
For some reason I like missed the scene.
I sort of like got distracted.
And I got too lazy to actually go back to see what I missed.
Between the chef.
Yeah, right.
Wasn't as I was holding papaya's.
Because Laura's like, how are you excited to see us dance?
And he's like, no, not really. And then she's like, how are you excited to see us dance? And he's like, no, not really.
And then she's like, we need coconut bees.
And she's like, you two stop flirting.
Okay, Adrian, pretend I'm a girl with boobs.
Now say something.
And he's like, I like your papayas.
He's like, ew.
What's with his pictures from your performance?
That was terrible. I want to speak as much as I'm gonna put on this. So that was terrible.
I lost my boner.
So now Kate is in full, like,
I mean, she's in full passive aggressive mode.
So they're getting ready to bring plates to the table.
I think is this dinner time or is this,
oh, sorry, it's lunch.
Yeah, it's dinner time.
Oh, it's dinner time.
I don't think it's lunch.
It's a meal, it's a meal.
Yeah, it's a meal.
So Kate's like, uh, Riley, Riley, Riley, um, could someone,
someone find that Wolverine on the deck?
Yeah, I need to bring in the plate.
Please come on.
I need your help bringing plates and Laura's down in the laundry.
Be like, oh, you need me to help.
Hey, this is what I'm trained for.
Hey,
say, no, she's learning us how to do laundry.
And that's all I need her for right now, okay?
Life can be a real bitch when you're a bitch, your boss.
You don't get to deliver plates.
And Laura comes in the kitchen.
That's that one.
I know.
And Laura comes in the kitchen.
She's like, want me to follow you away and kick us.
No thanks.
No thanks.
I'm right here, and I'm changing to do this jam.
And it's the biggest slap in the face here. I'm so over it
So lunch and then Assa is like this grapefruit with the balsamic
What a maze
Yeah, she's like really into the food and then meanwhile on the deck
Ross is giving Tyler an opportunity to do like the anchor, like participate in the anchor ceremony.
And Riley's mad because she's been on this boat all this time and never been given that
opportunity.
And I actually do think that's fucked up.
I mean, like, Ross is for sure better than Chandler, but like that was a Chandler move.
Like I mean, that's bullshit.
I don't even know why it matters to be part of the anchor ceremony, but like, was a Chandler move. Like I mean, that's bullshit. I don't even know why it matters
to be part of the anchor ceremony,
but like, it's true.
That's weird that that's how I get sued before her.
Well, remember we saw Captain Sandley
use this, who's gonna drive the boat today?
We saw her use that as a weapon,
so it feels like even more of a weapon.
Yeah, after seeing that.
So Josiah's like, Richard is with the Black Widow
on Deckate and she's like, I is with the Black Widow on Deckate.
And she's like, um, I'm scared of him.
Do you think of her as your girlfriend with him?
How tall are so many people he's killed?
So they do the anchor, anchor, anchor.
And he did it fine.
And the captain's like, I'm impressed with the action.
He just went through a near death experience
and he stepped up to the plate.
That's what you want to see.
So when I'm most dying a boat and get good at baseball
Multitasking
Multitasking
All right now. Oh god looks like Ashen is actually trying to hump the anchor lock
All right, well, he may have stepped up the plate just a little bit too much
Ashen ashen, uh, captain Lee Dashin
Could you please wipe up the seaman that you just deposited on the anchor?
Thank you.
The media is sexy!
Thank you Tyler for the clarification.
Alright, Baird, I'll give you a call later.
Alright.
It's your bottom dollar.
So the ladies hang on crows.
What is that?
Well, the lady, I don't know what that means, but the ladies are like, they're like,
we want to go on a tender cruise.
I love when they have like polite older ladies on the show
because they always wanna do exactly what I wanna do.
It's like, not jet ski, let's get on this,
let's go from the big boat to the small boat
and just like do some laps around the big boat.
So, they're gonna go on pretend.
Do you guys, anybody wanna try and hook up
the Netflix on our row queue?
Still it. Yeah. So yeah, so Kate's like, uh Laura. Can you go on to the chander please and
Serve the women things etc. And Laura's like so thoughtful
Eee I'm like you should be happy that seems like it will be fun and
Now you know episode to episode everything changes, right?
So if you're just watching this for the first time, it's like, what is Kate so mad about?
Because this girl hasn't done anything in this episode, maybe talk too much.
But this is a good one to remind us all who we're dealing with here.
Because Kate's like, okay, so here's what you're gonna need.
You're gonna need some ice, some soda, some waters, and the lorgas.
Peeper tails, paper towels, like Rand and she goes what? She goes, you know, random stuff.
Just, um, no. We're focusing on drinks right now. Yeah. That's your big contribution
from being cheese stew. Piper Tiel's right. Yeah. Oh, you know, a lot of random stuff.
Dendus before Neal did it. Yeah. I knew Kate was really pissed at her when Kate went pardon. I was like,
ooh, she's angry. You know, Kate does not say pardon to anyone she likes. You know, Kate is really
pissed off when she's trying to bring Dolly pardon into it. Pardon? That's not what I'd be doing.
If you were ever in jail, pardoning you? No. So, So Riley and Tyler are working and Tyler's like you know what I can separate work from play like when I'm working
I'm thinking about work when I'm not working think about having sex with Riley, okay
Some more ominous so she tells
She and Josiah are going through the master bedroom while the guests are away
and they're cracking up at all like the porn stuff they have in there.
There's like strip teas like a box that says strip teas and then they open the closet
and start cracking up because also, you know, black robes are in there.
Yeah.
And so it's so much as Adams.
She's black as she, but it's like 900 degrees.
So I guess I have to play that state.
Oh, remember that time that Caroline had to look at a condom.
That was great.
So on the tender of the ladies, are just having a basic time being basic ladies.
And then Laura just can't even let them in peace.
You know, she's like, when I talk to your your people? Do you want to read both suda? What's next?
It's cracker. It's cracker. You want to cracker? A cookie? A. Do you want
some kudos? A kudos bar? A. Brinola bar? A. Cain bar? A. C. Bar? A. B. C. D. F. G. H. I I'm not sure if you're going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going to be going fuck you down. Like, hey, Hannah, still fuck you. We'll see you next season.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, and then Ross meets with Captain Lee and he's like, so what's going on?
And looks like everyone has everyone doing well.
How's Riley?
He's like, Royale is actually never been here.
Yeah, it's almost like she's getting boomed every night.
I don't know what's going on.
A little pep in a sip.
All right.
Great to hear.
And then meanwhile, Laura's downstairs.
How old you, Laura.
It's fine. It dogs are not allowed on this boat. Alright, great to hear and the meanwhile Laura's downstairs
Dogs are not allowed on this boat so Laura's having like
Like dumb conversation with Ash she's like, oh, what's your favorite nut? Hey, he's like oh look kiss shoes and pistachios. Oh, those are my least favorite my favorite are P cans and macadamia's
Yeah, those kids. Yeah, it was some odd flirting, not flirting. It was like odd conversation. I mean, like, it's one
thing if I ask you, but if you're trying to flirt with someone
like, let's your favorite peanut, I feel like you could do
better. Yeah, do better. Do better. Then maybe stop and think I like stop the
show and say, what is my favorite peanut? I think peanuts
maybe my favorite peanut. No, it's not a peanut. It's a net
your favorite net. Peanut is a peanut. That's not even a net.
That's a leg wound. I think pistachios and peanuts are my
favorite, I think. Mine are, well, I do love a peanut, even
though I just said that's not a net.
I do like cashews, because that's my dad's favorite.
And I like walnuts.
Walnuts are what I buy at the store.
I love walnuts.
Oh, they're great on a salad.
No, I mean, yes, I think pecans and walnuts are great on salads, but in terms of like
nuts today, I would just want to graze on.
I think I would graze on it still.
Really?
I really enjoy a pistachio and I enjoy a peanut especially like a
honey roasted peanut I think those I like that which is kind of like bullshit
I try to eat Ross much
You know what I hate you know I hate I hate when people label hazelnuts as
filbert like why would they do that that is like so mean to hazelnuts like
you're not a hazelnut you're. Yeah, do you remember that time we were talking about nets and I thought
macadamia nets were Brazil nets. Yes. And I was like so hateful towards macadamia nets when I met
it towards Brazil. Yeah. And then everybody had a fit and stood up for macadamias. And macadamias
are delicious. So there I said it. Okay. what the pizza your controversy is now over yeah p.c. has a delicious to
but I again I don't really graze on them I feel like they're just good in
cooking and they're good to add on to read unto recipes okay well you know
noted so ashton is like oh yeah Laura on being easy with this nut talk, I plan to seed and a garden is growing with hair.
So gross.
You can just stop the seed.
I'm so pleased.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed. You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed.
You can just stop the seed. You can just stop the seed. You can just stop the seed. You can just stop the seed. You can just stop the seed. Sing laymills. I'm born next. Sweetly. I'm Dan Olmadiq.
Oh, please.
Grow for me.
Oh.
A little, little stop of horse.
So getting ready for dinner.
Laura's like, um,
Keke enemy. E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E Okay, it's like um, turn downs. I'm trying to do a vibrant red table skip right now.
So just do some turn downs.
Thanks.
So let's see.
They're making some seafood.
Ashton's talking to the chef and he's like, you know,
hey, I'm here.
And Adrian's like, you want to clean those muscles?
Idiot.
I'm like, he hates Ashton down.
Yeah, hates him.
So we're seeing Laura doing turn downs,
and she's like leaving towels on the floor,
like not doing it right.
So then Kate knows she can tell that Laura's probably
fucking it up, so she's like,
let me go downstairs, check the turn downs.
They'll probably be a disaster.
And sure enough, there's like towels everywhere
and kids like, oh, idiot.
That's high, louder, sigh.
Ah, nope, nope, idiot. That's high. Louder side.
Nope.
Nope.
Idiot.
Is this bitch for real?
Oh my god. I can't wait to tear apart.
So is she.
Did she really leave all those towels on the floor and stuff or did the guest come back in and mess up the rooms again?
The conspiracy theorist and me thinks that after Laura was done, the producers took towels and put them on the floor. I'm just saying. Yeah, because we didn't see Laura leaving
towels behind, right? We just saw her leaving the rooms. But I don't think we saw her actually
leaving. I mean, who would leave towels on the floor? That's pretty good. Yeah. I know.
That's why I think like some producer went down there and just like messed everything up.
Or they went back to their room to get something, you know, who knows? Who knows?
But so Kate then's like, Laura, can you come with me downstairs?
Thank you.
I think you might be a little confused as to what turn down service means.
I thought since you had so much experience that I wouldn't have to explain it.
But obviously I do.
And this is a spiral staircase.
It's actually a staircase.
It goes around the circles just making sure you know,
because I don't know what you really know at this point.
This staircase is akin to our relationship.
Let's just spiral down, Chubby.
And Kate's like, Laura's like, here we go.
And she gives the camera to look on her way down the stairs.
Like, can you fucking believe this camera person?
Like what?
You're only going to save Ashton.
Get over here, Brent.
Yeah.
So Kate's like, so what's the deal with the bathrooms?
Laura's like, um, what is the deal with the bathrooms? And I was like,
um, what is the deal with the bathrooms? Okay, this wasn't like this one. I came in and
kids like, um, but the master's also like that. So it's not just this one. It's really
that one too. So, like, I don't understand why you're being so aggressive. And kids like,
I'm not being aggressive. I'm actually being passive aggressive and I wish you'd respect that. Thank you.
I've got to be faster, I think it's like not a served dinner, okay?
So, second up.
And Laura's like, and that's cool that you're being aggressive.
Okay, it's like, I'll try it in a different way.
You just got to relax, like, relax, relax.
Please Laura.
I'm not relaxed because you're not doing the job that you said you could do.
Okay.
Now we're just full on yelling at her and Kate's just standing there watching her and she's
acting like Kate's going off and she's not.
Kate, I want you to know that I'm very happy.
Hey, please stop singing Canadian singer songs.
Sorry, force of habit E
She's like listen Kate near fair wherever you are
That's all I know of that song yeah, okay
It's been one week since I started working here. It's been three days. Oh, no, we don't have to do bear naked ladies. We can we can stop
Reliex
Reliex And kids like, oh, she's okay, you need to settle down.
Sit Laura, do the tails. I'll be like, see you. Okay, then how about you do the
towels? Because I have one tail in my pocket and the other one is turning down up. Ed. I'm God.
All right. All right. I'm gonna go upstairs.
This is the game runs up to stairs.
And then we're like bitch.
And then she tells us the difference between my chiefs to a style and kids is I wouldn't
make my stool feel like she it's like actually unprofessional.
In light. So then she passes Tyler on your waiting day, you know, you know what I'm saying? Oh God, I can hear up here. Please stop doing that.
So Laura passes Tyler who's eating in the crew mess and she's like, I am literally gonna lose it and he just shrugs it here
And she's like stops off. I don't know who you are. You're just vagina two. I
See vagina one vagina two vagina three and your number two and I'm already number one, so
Yeah, you said literally, but then you didn't follow it up with anything literal so I'm not paying attention to you
Okay, I only stand literal sex thought. I'm not playing it safe anymore. So I can't listen to you. You're Canadian. That's safe
So Kate is in the kitchen. She's like, hmm, how are everybody in the kitchen? She was mad that I asked her to redo turn downs. And I would like to know, has she would act on the
shorter the size if she has some attitude again? And the chef's like, yeah, she said that
she was brutal as chiefs do. So really really did they do turn down on that charter?
I don't think so
Has she ever even really worked on another boat or she just merely taken a bubble bath with like a toy talk boat because that's who's totally different things
I think it might be the latter
So she's like um Laura Laura come to the gallery for service please pretty please pretty please
And I was like, okay, okay, okay, okay, I can do this I can do this okay, okay, so
So now they like they're serving dinner and the goth lady is like
Adrian, oh my god, this food. It's like I
Want to come into the kitchen tomorrow and just like wash your knives.
Can I do that? Can I start? I'll say do that. It's like, yeah, that'd be great. Do you think you can give me sweet affections to have a relationship with that?
I feel like I'm eating a painting.
Ah, that sounds disgusting.
Yeah, it's like you actually are eating a painting. You should focus on your plate
God dammit who stole my Picasso?
So Laura's like um of word keep please
She's like
I'm in the middle of service pantry
Don't yell don't yell don't you tell me? I just don't want want to hear I just don't I wouldn't hear what you have to say But not while the other guests eat come on
And then we get the moral monologue Laura you have just a very distinct annoying voice that cares throughout this entire yacht
So we're gonna try to keep you as way as far as possible from the guests because they're terrible, but you're even more terrible
Okay, that's all
Sorry I Terrible, but you're even more terrible, okay? That's all Sorry Sorry, I
Love when she's like you are like another candy person. Hey
Hey, like this is insane to you need to seriously figure you shut out
I have some and then she just goes off. Yeah, it's just standing there
Okay, it is actually like cracking up because she's like I'm like, oh my god. I can't just stand there. Mm-hmm. Kate is actually like cracking up because she's like,
oh my god, I can't wait to destroy her later.
The marshy comes from me, the more terrible I make her life tomorrow.
Yeah, and she's like, check yourself.
You need to check yourself!
Every spec for an appreciation for me constantly cleaning up
view all day long.
Yeah, that's enough.
There's like hundreds of other ways you could have approached
that situation.
A, guess like.
Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh.
And again, it's one of those situations where she's expecting
Kate to fight with her and she's got all this stuff
that she's planned to yell back at Kate,
but Kate's not fighting.
She's just staying quiet looking at her.
And so Laura comes off looking just like a complete doonie too. Because Kate knows whenever she's made the other person yelled, Kate knows
that she's won. And so at this point, she's just like not even thinking about fighting back. She's
just like, okay, just trying to remember as many of these quotes to tell back to Josiah later, okay.
She's okay, this is great. This is so good. Yeah, she needs to get her voice recorder out.
She does, she does.
So apparently next week it's going to be an ultimatum episode.
A la Katie, she's like, well, she has to be fired,
otherwise I'll quit.
Yeah, it's ultimatum week on Bravo.
It's amazing how Storylines Dovetail on Bravo
in the same week.
It's not so cool.
All the time.
Well everyone, thank you so much for being with us
for Bologdeak.
Yeah.
Next week we're off, and I think Bologdeck is off as well,
but we'll be back in a couple of weeks.
Yeah.
But in the meantime, go buy some tickets for our lunch.
And vote on the crappies just for the fun of it.
Do it.
And buy our, buy more.
Just for the fun of it.
Yeah, guys, we sure love you.
And choose some diet coke, just for the first time. just for the fun of it. Yeah guys. I love you. I cook just very
Merry wonderful holiday time with your families
Yeah, you guys happy happy holidays be safe have a great time eat lots of food and
Buy lots of presents and drink a lot of egg nog. Ooh, I haven't had to acknowledge this year
I gotta go get some you know, I love that store bought eggnog
and drink a lot of eggnog. Ooh, I haven't had to eggnog this year.
I gotta go get some, you know,
I love that store bought eggnog.
So you guys, we love you.
We'll be back tomorrow to discuss,
oh, real house was new Jersey on it's new day for us.
Yeah, we'll talk to you guys later, boy.
Bye.
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