Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: UTI Aye Captain!

Episode Date: January 20, 2021

We always thought James and Elizabeth would be a forever couple on Below Deck, but after a drunken dinner goes awry, it looks like the greatest romance of 2021 may be in trouble. Turns out the real longevity belongs to Rachel's farts, which fill the galley thanks to a stomach ailment that takes her and Ashling down. It's an icky episode with a smattering of UTIs, and we're here to recap it all!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch For Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Karen. What's going on, Ronnie? Well, hello, Ben. How are you on this fine Tuesday? How are you? I'm doing good. Just getting ready

for the crappy awards. Oh my god. You're my little to-do list. Yeah, we have all sorts of stuff we have to still put together for this show. It's two days away. We got two days left before the crappy awards, and it's gonna be on Thursday, January 21st. I don't think anything else is really going on this week in the world, especially not in the US, right? So no one should be really distracted away from it, right? So the crappies are this Thursday January 21st, six o'clock on the on the west coast, nine o'clock on the east coast in the evening of course. And we are

gonna have all sorts of super fun guests. We have guests. We're gonna have music. We're gonna have glamour. It's gonna be a big wonderful virtual event. It's gonna be probably the biggest crappies we've ever done, definitely the biggest guests we've ever had. We've only announced about half the guests that we are going to be having. So it's going to be it's going to be Modness. Go to watchercrapins.com and you can find both the ballot there and also links for the tickets. So it's gonna be super, super fun. Come join us. If you're watching it live, you get to chime in,

you can chat away with other people in the audience, et cetera, the virtual audience. It's gonna be a super, super fun. So watchocrapans.com to get tickets and to vote. De-wat. De-wat. And today we are here with Southern, I mean, the low day. Southern day.

It's not Southern charm. Southern deck. One of the guys on here today could be on Southern charm. But, you know, it's one of those guys who's kind of a butter face, but has a time of confidence so everyone thinks he's really cute. Yes. Yeah, I could totally see that, dude. Justin, I could totally see that, do you think Justin was from the Austin area

or not Austin area? In your professional opinion as someone in that region. I have no idea. We've got all types in Austin. So I have no idea. I don't claim him. Okay. That's fine then. So this week we are back at the beach club.

The beach club where we left off where Rachel was in the middle of seeing her blockbuster smash. You know who you are, get it done, band. Okay, and we're gonna make music. I want some dirty ass shit. Titties! Titties! And then he's like, I hate this dad, it makes my skin crawl. So he walks away from it, and Rachel will not leave the stage,

even though Francesca's up there, being very forceful going, Rachel, we have to keep you off the stage. Right. The children present. Yeah. And I was, I noticed that Captain Lee has really taken, taken a liking to Francesca recently. And then I just realized why? Because then Francesca says, you know what? I'm so exhausted from babysitting. I was like, oh, Captain Lee is like, I knew like her. There

will be nobody. Welcome to our, yeah, welcome to our new book series, Matt Baby Cidder's Club. Ah, reminds me my favorite 80s movie, non adventures in babysitting. Adventure is a Matt baby. Adventures in doing something else with your evening On Francesca's like you can swear just come swear with us. Come on right to Rachel's like And then Eddie is now like all in a fuss over by the wherever he is. And he's like, you can embarrass yourself all you want. But if you embarrass the crew, fuck that, dad. Someone has to talk to her and when she's sober again. I am everyone's really annoyed with her.

But before they can say anything, she's just passed out drunk on a sun chair. Yeah. So then Robin James makes some secret code or something. I didn't really even write it down because this like love affair between Robin James isn't working for me. Is another thing that they just plug in every year. Like we have to have a bromance on this.

We have to have a terrible heterosexual romance and also a terrible heterosexual bromance. Yeah, pretty much. And at this point, Rob, he is barely even on the show. He's basically like those second engineers who just like appear or first made an engineer who appeared in the beginning of the season. And he's just like,

John, Ron or Juan. Yeah. Yeah. Or what was that one season? It was like Rico and Frico. I forgot their names. Larry, Larry, Larry. Larry, cousin Larry, my other cousin Larry.

Yeah, exactly. Larry. So Rachel's passed out and um, Lizbeth is cuddling up with James and she's like, do you do feel like we're wiped out of the group? I feel like if I go shit gets a friend test cause she only be mad at me. Is it, yeah, she'll just stop giving you a dirty look. What are you gonna do as soon as you get home? I've saved this up for my good dating material. What are you gonna do as soon as you get home? She goes, Mike, I'm going to my cousin's wedding. I want to go to that. Well, I think then you're gonna have to propose to me James. James, I think you should propose to me. I'm a dammel, Elizabeth. I do you are a clingy, but jeez. Seriously, it's like, well, maybe when I'm so bad

Do you think it's insane? Do you I mean we could die in a month Let's just do it So she said on watch what happens live because I had to watch what happens live because Dolores was on there. Mm-hmm Yes, and so everybody was texting and like tweeting go and tweeting, yeah, you got to go watch. Delores, she's going to be on watcher half of the slide. Did you watch it? So I watched a half of her interview,

and then I got sidetracked. I didn't get back to it. I loved that she had an angle. Like she was sort of standing at an angle. Like, this is my good side, buzz. Yeah. She was standing in front of the biggest boat. She could find. And then she was like standing there and she was holding part of her hair out with her hands like So it got to her and they're like hey Dolores. I'm like

She had basic it was a short interview pretty much, but she was basically just like I wanted to go swimming So I went swimming. He's like, okay, Dolores, let me ask you this. When you jumped in, do you feel bad about jumping in? She's like, no, you know what, here's what I feel like, the water called me, Andy. All right, let me ask, let me ask this question. This is from Jennifer from Jupiter, okay?

You jumped in, what was it like jumping into the water? It's gonna be a 20 minute interview with the same question over and over again. you jumped in, what was it like jumping into the water? It's gonna be a 20 minute interview with the same question over and over again. She jumped in the water, we all survived it guys. Okay. Yeah, I think the last thing I heard her say was saying that she has problems with authority.

But she was giving me some like Carol Baskin vibes. I don't know if you picked up on that, but I was getting like some like Carol Baskin vibes. I don't know if you picked up on that, but I was getting like Some Carol Baskin adjacent vibes like instead of being into tigers. She's into water, you know Yeah, maybe like Tiger sharks or something. Oh, yeah, so she was Basically, she said that she was planning on leaving anyway So she didn't really care that she got kicked off because she had already called a water taxi for herself. So whatever, Andy. Yeah, absolutely.

And then anyway, my point bringing this up was Elizabeth said, you know, there was no context to that conversation. I wasn't asking to marry me. I was just saying because he needs to get his green card. That's all I meant. Come on guys. think of that out. But then here She's like, but we could die. You know, you only have one. So if you feel it, you should just do it So I don't know that I buy that and then she literally says you could be literally the combination of my entire life if you did that I mean if you said combination I would get it I mean, if you said combination, I would get it. But the combination of your life, it's like, what is this?

You iron enough jackets and this is what you win. You poison the crew and you come home with a man that's the combination of your life. So now it's sunset and they're sitting on the dock, the group is sitting on the dock and Rob is like, yeah, I lost my best bud last year and used to howl at the sunset, died of a lot of drugs. And I was like, that's sad. Please don't howl at the sunset. Please, please, I was so bracing for awful howling at the sunset. And thankfully, it didn't

happen. It was like a below deck miracle that it did not happen. It was like, was your friend wearing sunglasses? Because it sounds like a very dangerous, dangerous thing. And so Rob's like, you know, life is short. Life is like your own finding Nemo machine. You know, you go along, you lose people, then Alan gets canceled, but then get to sequel anyway. People are fresh. People are fresh. So now you wind up in a dentist's office. So so now they're all getting changed for for dinner and everything. And then and then James is wearing like a black shirt and Elizabeth is like, look at you in black. It's my favorite. This is the culmination of my life. You in black right now. Hey, this is like your third outfit changed today, buddy.

Oh, he has to marry me. And James is like, oh yeah, we'll have a lovely marriage. It will last all of six months, and he winks. And Ashley says, it's long as it takes to get that green card. I, and the guys, I'm like, too old to like be joking like this. Like, like, you don't even like joke about this shit because I might hurt you. Okay. And Rachel just walks away and goes, James is a douche. So they get to dinner and of course, Liz is like,

soon next to me, James, soon next to me. It's like, no, I want to look in your eyes while stomping, she would almost gallops. me. It's like, no, I want to look in your eyes while stomping. She would almost gallops. And then she's like, where am I going to the bathroom? See a bit, baby boy. It's like you're going to the bathroom. You're not like going to Kenya right now. So then Rachel starts getting nasty. She's like, yeah, you fucking tits. You know what? I don't fucking care. You know, how how can we not order it's fine. It's fine Like an idiot So then they yeah, boom please did you miss me?

And so now so rate so Elizabeth sits down next to Rachel and then Rachel's like I am so mad at you I am mad at you like why the fuck would you fuck that dude like he's a fucking idiot he's a fucking idiot look at him look at him look at him look at him look at him look at the way he's leaning in and putting his hand behind his ear he's so stupid look at him trying to listen into what I'm saying what a fucking idiot right there and now look at him you know he's giving me the finger oh my god he's such an idiot has not even know what I'm talking about oh my god give him a chance! Could you do me a favor and not talk about me right in front of me? Red was like, now!

Get being there, we hush! No, I'm not being very harsh. James is like, well I was just talking about me. I don't expect your dishes to get done anytime soon. Yeah, well you never did them anyways. Oh, you're not grateful? Well just don't expect more help again. I'm gonna swipe on my Instagram. Look at that. And this is like, guys stop this is stupid. Yeah, you better get your shit together dude. Fuck that man's dick. That's a shit piece of shit fuck down. I'm just like, why is he a piece of shit? Just cuz I say so I can smell it from a mile away He's a fucking douche like I would rather flick my own bean than deal with a conversation with you fucking idiots And this is like come on you're being harsh on him He's a piece of shit and Francesca's like guys seriously. I was talking about the difference between

Passion fruit orange or iced tea in regular iced tea This is this is a conversation we don't need at the dinner table Okay, because this is what Francesca adds to scenes like she sits down in this scene and she's like What a lovely day. We went in the water. We played with some water toys Everybody anyone want to join in on this conversation Hi, baby sat a little bit didn't want to, but I did it. So Elizabeth and Rachel go off to smoke

and Elizabeth just whines a lot. She's like, don't be mad at me. And she's like, look, you don't know James, the way I know James, okay? You just don't like him because if your first impressions followed by second impressions that turn in fourth and fifth and five weeks of impressions, but you don't know him the way I do. And is he's like, I'd love to be a floor on the wolf that conversation.

And James is James is like, oh, fuck that. That, you know, what this just puts me off Liz. So now you've got your excuse, which. Which I don't really blame you, but obviously he's been waiting for this so he could just dump her. Exactly. And not be called a fuck boy, but you are a fuck boy.

And I don't really blame you. I don't know exactly what she thought was gonna happen after she's like, wanna get married? Yeah. Let's get married. I mean, it's, there's a lot of blame to go around.

She is way too clingy. And like, James is clearly a fuckboy. Everyone can see he's a fuckboy. Everyone knows he's a fuckboy. And Elizabeth is like, he likes me. And then is now talking about marriage. And then he, meanwhile, is a fuckboy. He sees that she's just going to like get hearts in her eyes.

But he's horny. He goes after it. And like you said, this was the little crack that he needed to create an excuse because that's the number one thing that fuck boys do, which is to find something that they do and then be like, oh, oh, you know, I'll have so much luggage. And I just, and baggage, baggage at luggage.

And it's just, it's a lot for me, and I can't do it. It just makes me want to put my walls up. I mean, how many times do we have to watch Summer House to understand, Carl and, I just want to take a slow. It's just going too fast for me. I can't do it. It's like, I'm just talking to you.

I told you, I told you I wasn't looking for anything serious. I told you. I told you that in the first place. You look great, by the way. Yeah. It's classic. It's classic, It's classic.

Fuck you. I think. Especially the, but you know, I'm really sad because of my parents' divorce. Like, it's always something really sad. And James is, you know, she's the one who hurt me because my other good, my last girlfriend was cheating on me and never told me, you know, never admitted it.

I was like, well, maybe she wasn't cheating on you. You know, maybe that was like your excuse. Yeah. I'm back there. Like, you're cheating on me. I know it. And that's why I'm fucking your best friend. Yeah, I feel like it used to be that guys were like players

and they just would, like this hat, like these types of guys were just, they would sleep with someone and then they'd just move on and they just didn't even care. Really how they were perceived because they were just like, I'm a man and I can do what I want and they just go from woman to woman. But now we have the new breed of fuckboy, which is that the fuckboy pretends to be sensitive and thoughtful and working on himself. And then he uses that as an excuse to get out of a situation because he've triggered

something in him that he's like, you know, too sensitive about. Yeah. And you have to stay, you have to stay in the fuckboy business. So if you get rid of one girl, you have to be sensitive enough to know that she's going to go tell other girls, well, he said that he can't do it because he's really hurt by his girlfriend cheating. Because then one of the, at least one of those people is going go, oh! He got cheated on! And then, you know, it just keeps getting you raped. Yeah, exactly. This is what I'm telling you.

Not everybody should get psychology, or should get any kind of help, psycholite. It just teaches you how to manipulate people better. Yeah, standby. I actually think there's another wrinkle to that, which is that the girl, the he comes up with an excuse why he's psychologically tormented and she triggered it and now we can't be with her and then she goes and tells her girlfriends

and then they all say fuck him he's a fuck boy this is bullshit and then they all go and they yell at him and then he gets yelled at and he's like stop it, guys stop this is ridiculous oh okay I guess it's like everyone goes call day right and then he goes sulks in the corner and then there's always the one girl who was like, oh, he's sulking, he just doesn't have anyone.

I get it, I know what it's like to be alone in this world and then the cycle begins and new. Yeah. So Rachel is like, don't get in that van with him. Don't get in that van with him. And so Liz gets in the van with Rachel, but everyone else squeezes in the other van, including, you know, James. So Liz is like, well, he doesn't want to be with me.

Like he didn't even come in the van with me. Fuck that. He was supposed to come with me. You know, I give my heart out a little bit and then he sucks it. Try it. Give her heart out a little bit. How was your heart getting such dry by him going into a different van? Okay, it's only GMC getting between you and him. So he's, so then Rachel's like, well, there's not enough Botox for me to not even facially give a fuck right now.

Rachel's so funny while Liz is going off. Rachel just keeps making all these comments. She's like, he's stupid. I sat there and I told you keeps making all these comments. She's like he's stupid I sat there and I told you you're fucking dumb is what's going on So then Elizabeth doesn't even listen to her. No, they just basically both pass out and the drivers They like get to the yacht and the drivers like we're here everyone anyone wake up we're here Rachel's still my favorite what like earlier when she was wasted at the club She's passed out on the sun chair, and then she just wakes up out of nowhere and goes oh

Pies and they have like little lemon marines Right now they show them go home and she's like Jesus Christ someone please just shoot me in the fucking face Oh patina chips me the fucking face. Oh, patina chips. Yeah. Well, it's amazing about her is that she got fully wasted and then passed out and then you sort of thought that after the passing out she'd be just sort of kind of back to normal. But then she just was like right back to being wasted again. She just like got herself right there again. Yeah. And then Francesca gets like, oh, I have three Rachel's deal with. I have colleague, Rachel, roommate, Rachel, and drunk, Rachel, shut up, I'm bored with Francesca.

How about you? I'm fine with Francesca. I'm not like thrilled by her, but I'm not bored with her. I think she's fine. I need more. I need more right there. I'm just saying it.

In this relationship, I'm gonna need more. Okay, so the next morning at 6 a.m. and Rachel's fine. Yeah, now she she wakes up like, all right, feel great. Yeah, can't remember anything, but she feels fine. And then James is, James is like bitching to rob that Rachel, et cetera, about how like, what, how bad she is. And then Eddie is like, well, is he a better girl than Dr. Y. You're not gonna better. You're the doctor right now dad Yeah, so is he still sick and then

Rachel is calling people over the radio to help her with provisions or no She's leaving the vote vote to get provisions and everyone's being rude as she's like sorry. Did all of you something? Yeah and Yeah, um, and Elizabeth is like, how the hell did I wind up in the van alone with her last night? And he's like, well, no one wants to be round her. So what does that mean? No one want, no one likes me now. No one likes me. He's like, well, I don't know. I mean, you just want to please don't you? Well, you might want to apologize to poor James, okay?

Because Rachel was passionate. Pretty hard. And she's like, but I didn't agree with you. He's like, well, then you should tell James. Like, we're all worried about James now. Yeah, exactly. So then she's like, Well, I don't want James to feel like I wouldn't

back up my man. So she goes out to the, she goes up to the deck and she's like, James, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to not back you up I'm gonna go tell her to shut the fuck up. That James. Do you love me James? Do you love me James? I like well, I thought you would have my back, but it's all good So she leaves and he says that he's still annoyed with her But he doesn't trust her anymore and there's no point in even telling her that because it'll just cause drama Meanwhile, he will now but he doesn't trust her anymore and there's no point in even telling her that because it'll just cause drama.

Meanwhile, he will now act out and pass the aggressive ways that will actually create 10, 10 times more drama than if he just told her he was annoyed. Yeah, because if he said he's annoyed, then she could be the victim. But then if he just does little things and make her act crazy, then he can go see she's crazy. That's right, guys.

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What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wendry app So Eddie is talking to Izzy about going to the doctor and You know Izzy. It's like Izzy. How is he is about everything? She's like well, he's been telling me to go to a doctor and now I'm thinking okay

I guess I should go before I'm paralyzed again Yeah, probably Guess I should go for paralyzed again Hey, is he you want to go to dinner this week? Well, you know what I was gonna stay in this weekend But I figured may as well take advantage before paralyzed again So then now Rachel is back with provisions and she's like hey, can anyone help? I got provisions can anyone help and then like no one's answering. Because they're also a manager and captainally's like, do I have the only goddamn radio that works around here? Something's up.

Yeah, I don't know much, but I do know this. Cheerios are damn good, and this crew's acting weird, all right? So he calls up Chaz, Chaz Eddie, Chaz, Chaz Eddie. And so they come up and Eddie's like, well, the chef is having a different, difficult time playing with others. You know, when the work is done and the alcohol flow, she becomes a very negative person.

She's directing that negativity tools are the crew members. And Kat and Lee is like, well, with coronavirus, the odds of getting someone in here are not good. I called Norma the other day and all she said was, and then hung up on me. So, yeah, basically, that's right everyone. I just gave Norma coronavirus.

Oh my God, I'm poor Norma. Well, she shouldn't have been going to indoor parties with her friends. Yeah, she wanted to gay circuit parties. She wanted to put a viata on New Year's and she should have known better and that's what Norma gets. Oh, so he basically says that, you know, he would replace her, but she's really good and it's not like you can just call for a new chef and coronavirus, basically.

So then Liz and Ashling are talking and Liz is like, oh my God, I like him more and more and more and more. He's so scary. Dun, dun, dun, and then James walks in. He's like, what is everyone get quiet when I walk out here and Ash, they, the girls kind of giggle. And then he winks at Ashling. I'm like back so slowly winking at her. and then he winks at Ashling, I'm like, back so slowly, winking at her. Yeah, it's like a total pass aggressive move. It's like, I'm gonna give attention to everyone, but you Elizabeth right now. And so she's like, why did she just winking at you?

I mean, and Ashling's like, on a day, he winks at everyone. And she's like, well, I've been in situations. Yeah, the girls aren't to be trusted around my boyfriend. Hmm. Oh, yeah, I've been in situations where other girls aren't to be trusted around my boyfriend. Hmm. Oh, yeah, blame the girl. Mm-hmm.

Of course. Blame the girl who didn't even do anything. Your boyfriend's a douche. And by the way, and this is exactly what you just said, because now she's going to go, like, she's going to get territorial and she's going to be weird to Ashling and then she'll be the crazy one. And like you said, Jim's will be able to say, see, she's crazy. It's not my fault.

I had to get out of it. She's crazy. Yeah. So, not time for the preference sheet meeting. No, first Eddie checks on Izzy and she's like, well, the bad news is she'll stuck with me. The bad news is I've got a double kidney infection, a UTI,

strep throat. Rickets might have been paralyzed, just telling you that, but I'm not, which is part of the good me. Restless legs syndrome, funny bone allergies, and I've got shingles and pringles. I actually have pringles in my lungs right now, and I also apparently have an abscess and assist in the abscess. And some dry, weenis skin, but I'm not really sure that I should include that on a sickness list or if I just need to moisturize.

I have three kinds of rosacea and I also have lingering cough and toenail fungus. Yeah, so she's like, well, I'll just need another 24 hours in bed, okay? So then we go to the press sheet meeting and Rachel's like, what, why is everyone asking me if I'm fine and good? I don't even get a hangover. It's not on what everyone's talking about. And I love, I love how Rachel wakes up and she's like, I don't remember anything, but you know what best thing to do is just get over it, forget about it, move on.

Because always the one who ruins everything with that outlook. Yeah, so it was like, we need to just move on and heal always. So, um, so we meet, we learned that the guests are going to be the primaries or Chris and Erica from friends with Texas. And I don't know why, but in my mind, I was like, I bet this is Erica with a K. And guess what, it was Erica with a K. Not that I don't care if it's Erica with a K or not, but I felt like really good that I just sensed

it was an Erica with a K. I felt really good. You sensed her numerology. I sensed it. Yeah, I felt really on top of it. So these guys, they get their personality from being from Texas and having a little T cup named Jiki.

Yeah, or GG. Sorry, GG. Oh, RIP Jiki. Oh, GG. Oh, by the way, friends will, a friends would is, looks like it's South East of Houston. So there you go. Oh, friends would.

Friends would. It's a place where people make friends with wood. Yeah. Hey, you want to go roller skating friends would. So Eddie is like, Hey, you know what that means? And they're like, go po po gg. Like laugh. So I have to get a little two by two plot of fake grass. And the people from Texas want a cowboy theme party, which I don't know

that I would travel. I don't know that I Don't know that we'd really do that but uh France Francesca's like, I don't know a little bit Texas. Oh, no, that they like range dressing Um, or I think they like beer. Oh, I think they have sheriffs there. I'm like, okay All of that aside where are you from that doesn't like ranch dressing or beer or have cigarettes? I just fuck. I just like that like hurt impression of Texas is based off the opening credits of city slickers It's like will they will be in dinners around their nicks They have tin gallon hats and they walk with the elbows out and their hands down side by side Yeah, well, I mean we're not much better about Australia.

We're like, have you ever seen a kangaroo? That's true. That is very true. By the way, I think it's very funny what you said that help. Like, what is the point of going from Texas, like going onto a yacht to have basically a Texas style party? I don't get that. I think that's the way of saying, we want fucking steak. going from Texas, like going on to a yacht to have basically a Texas style party. I don't get that.

I think that's the way of saying, we want fucking steak, okay? Don't service some fancy shit, we want steak. Cause that is true. People in Texas, like even cooking for anybody's hard, cause they're like, what's that? You know, you just need to fucking meet in a potato one there.

And that's it, that's all they care about. Not everybody, but my family at least. If you go anywhere other than like a meat and potato, so I'm like, what? I'm so sorry. I have a mute button on the Skype mic, but I don't have it on the other mic that we record with him.

I just totally pressed mute on the Skype mic and blew my nose in everybody's face. So sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry. People are like, what the fuck, dude? Did I didn't hear that? I didn't even, because you're listening to me on the Skype mic, so you couldn't hear it,

because I pressed the mute on Skype, but it's still recording into the podcast, so sorry everybody. I didn't even move my head to do it. I was just like, they can't hear me. In my mind, I was just like, well, I don't know what it is But I feel like since last time Ronnie spoke his nasal passages just unclear I'm like friend dresser after she eats wasabi for the first time Anyway, so now we see Captain Lee pacing around the wheelhouse. And then he says that Rachel is reminding him of his son. She has all the talent of the world and is squandering it.

And then Francesca comes to check in on him. And he's like, hey, Kitto, I want to have a glass of wine. And they sit down, they drink the wine. And basically, Captain Lee starts telling her, his son who passed away last year and about, you know, he died of a drug overdose of opioids. And it's, it's like pretty gut-wrenching. And he talks about how he was the one who discovered his son's body and it's like that. It's the last thing he thinks about at night and the first thing he thinks about in the morning and really makes my heart go out for him. I just felt I felt so sad for him and really for Yeah, for anyone who has has to deal with that in their family is like, oh, yeah

So then it's 7 a.m. And Eddie is bitching this whole episode that his body's falling apart and You better get over it. What do you like 30? Me while he's the only one is not set. What is he 35? Yeah Yeah Get over it. All right try being an old carny like me You're like 30. For me, why is the only one is not sick? What is the 35? Yeah. Yeah. That's a ton of that. Get over it. All right. Try being an old carny like me. All right.

So James Robyn is here talking in the mess. And James is like, well, you wearing sunglasses. Easy. What are you hiding? So I'm hiding my face because I've got constipation because my medication won't let my body take a pill. And then Francesca, Francesca gives us some morning chores. Let's Elizabeth has to laundry and Ashling has to do guest areas and stuff. And then there's like provisions and an ashroteur for rives and and then Eddie walks

into the galley and Rachel's there and she's like, ah, don't, don't come in here. I'm crap-dusting like a son of a bitch. And then Liz and Ashley are talking about being hungry, but Ashley is like, I think I like something bad. Much stomach clenching together. Don't don't don't. And then begins the bad stomachs. Yeah. A blue tag season, whatever.

So the guests come down and the guests come down the dock and the little dog get, does the little dog get his own champagne or is Eddie just saying, He brings the dog champagne. I think just Eddie says it. Well, I thought that would have been nice for the dog to get some champagne.

I agree. Just putting it out there, Starbucks can make little doggy things. So can you super yacht? I'm surprised that someone like Cameron Westcott has. Starbucks can make little doggy things. So can you super yacht? I'm surprised that someone like Cameron Westcott has not come out with like doggy champagne. Like not an alcoholic, like low acidity, but it has bubbles and it's like something

that a dog would like, you know, and you can like feed it to your dog and be stupid. I'm in. So they get the like a job, you know, it's like typical bring the luggage, take a tour, ashing is really sick. And but she's being hit on by Justin. He was like, yeah, you're hard. And he's getting, he's just chugging everything that he sees. He's like holding bottles. Every time they cut down, he's like holding a bottle upside down into his mouth or like, you know, holding the champagne glass upside down empty into his mouth.

So she's like, he that guy, you know, that friend looks like he's ready to get to be a little messy there. Yeah. And speaking of messy, there's further discussion about people's stomachs, gurgling and filling up with poopy sounds. And so, but it's a study of contrast because Rachel's stomach is also starting to turn. But Izzy, she says, I literally haven't peed since yesterday morning.

So look at that, what a world of contrast, what a world we have one woman who can't poop and two women who can't help the poop What a show. It's below deck. Welcome to below deck So that guy that everyone's pretending is cute for the sake of the show is like oh, yeah that blonde one I'm like I'm gonna put my poison in you. I mean that Australian accent game over Yeah, you're gross game over. You're gross. I hate your hat. I'm gonna put my poison in her. Geez. It's bad enough coming from you can't pull off a

Gorga moves, sir. Okay. I hate when people talk about that. So Francesca is like, I need a vodka. And actually, he's like, I'm sorry, I'm don't know. I can't do this. And then there's a lot of toys. Is he still camp? Poo. There's also a great thing of I don't know if this is right here or not. I think it is. There's a great scene of Elizabeth struggling to open a door. She's like, oh my god. Like, like seriously, like she's like a sliding door. She can't she can't figure it out. Yeah, this is like a continuing thing. So she's trying to open the door and can't figure it out. And then we cut back to James and Rob

moving ropes around and there being a wacky friend couple and Rob's like come on say something supportive to me. He's like, well I'll tell you this tonight, you can't take a load on the shoulder. I'm like, oh my God, we're such bros bro. Yeah, bro. And then we cut back to Liz still not being able to open the door.

Really inspires confidence for her if there was an emergency. And then Rachel's like, I got bubble guts. That's what it is. I got bubble guts. And then the anchor goes down and then we see Francesca getting tired. So it's like a fake out because we think that now Francesca is going to be sick, but it turns out she's just tired for a moment. And, but the good news is that Izzy is her meds are kicking in and she is like active and peppy and Eddie is like really happy about it.

And then we get a fun pass of aggressive Francesca scene with Liz. She's like, all right, Liz, go turn on the laundry. Do you know what that means? She goes, I don't think it's ready yet. It's like not ready to be turned over yet. It's like it is. So she says it's so hard to keep on top of Liz.

And plus Ashley, it's gonna break me again. Yeah. And now the guests are on toys and they're just like, you know, Jets getting around all over the place while Ashley is like, you know, hunched over in a booth somewhere. And then a girl,

and then we get a help review from a girl coming out of the ocean. She's like, oh my God, salty. That is the saltiest water ever. You heard her here first, people. The water off Antigua is the saltiest water in the ocean. You know, scientifically proven. So then we get some really odd medical advice from Francesca.

She sees Rachel and Rachel's like, oh my stomach! And she's like, well, are you drinking Coke? I'm just like, yeah, I'm having some diet Coke. Since when does that make your stomach feel better? Are these people crazy? Coke? Yeah, well, yeah. It does?

Well, I've heard like ginger ale, like, coke. Yeah. Sprite, coke. Well, I think coke has to be flat. I think it's always like ginger ale and then Sprite. But you can do coke too. I think it's supposed, I don't know. I don't know how it helps.

And I think it's, I don't know if it's supposed to be better if it's flat or bubbly, or maybe it's just all like a whole bunch of bullshit. But I have heard it, I have think it's I don't know if it's supposed to be better if it's flat or bubbly or maybe it's just all like a whole bunch of bullshit But I have heard I have heard it Ronnie Yeah, I have it. It's like you still make cuts. Why don't you drink a can of sugar and corn syrup that'll help It would help you feel better make me feel better. Um So Rachel's like I'm screwed I don't know if I can do this no pun. But I'm feeling like shit, but I'm bummed.

Titties! Titties! So then, Ashley is serving the guests, and then Justin is like, Hey, Ashley, you want to hang out with us? And she's like, well, if you were into charter guests, you know, when sometimes when a charter guest falls in love with your astonishingly good looks, you know, you have to draw a line somewhere, but if you were into charter guests, guess what? I would probably go there. Single Pringle. Single Pringle.

And then we get a pillow from my pillow. The CEO of my pillow, which was super classy and you know, on on brand for this time in American history. Yeah, like anyone wants to hear from Mr. My pillow guy with his $70 pillow, okay? He's like, get you $79 pillow and declare martial law. How about I go to Target and buy my own pillow, sir? More like your pillow, your pillow. It's a special code and the military will be the police. So then Rachel is talking about how she knows how to work for Texans. Cause I used to work for a boss. It was out of doubtless and they love boned ribbides and lobster. Okay.

In resisting in wrench dressing. And then cut to Justin. He's like, did you fart? He smells that baby poop. Yeah, and Rachel basically tells us that her whole goal right now is just to not sharp. That's all she wants to do. So now she's asking for help with breaking on the lobsters and again, no one's really willing to help her at the moment.

And then we, Francesca checks in with Liz. And she's like, please, how's the laundry going? She's like, um, not much is going on with the laundry. I mean, I could probably fold some things and she's like, okay, well, could you just check the laundry then? I mean, yeah, I could check, you know, yeah. And then of course, there's like laundry in there. She's like, oh, she's in the ex best, like, yeah. And then of course, there's like laundry in there. She's like, oh she's in the ex, but it's like all laundry.

She says, I did it before lunch. And for Jessica's auto, thank you, dude. You know, every time you come back on break, it's a good idea to check it, you know, and hopefully we'll get it by the end of the season, you know? Mm-hmm. So everyone's getting ready for dinner. And then, is is standing outside with James

looking at the moon coming out. And she's like, no wonder the energy's so crazy. It's a full fucking moon. And he's like, oh my god, you sound like Elizabeth. I don't need this. Yeah. And then the guests are all dressed up and getting ready for dinner.

And then Francesca brings out some canopies. And the guests are like, canopies canopiesapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canap canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canap canapias canap canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canapias canap They're like fancy So let's see Canapes Dex and the Gellie blah blah blah Eddie complains about something to my road Eddie complains about something next Yeah, the captain is invited for dinner. So he comes down and in spin on his shirt Which is kind of cowboy yeah, and Rachel's like I need the pens shirt, which is kind of cowboy-y. Yeah. And Rachel's like, I need the pants.

Ooh. Ooh. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and and, and, and and list and it's like, Hi, could you do me a favor? I know that we're already, I don't know, six or seven, you know, charters in and you should probably understand this by now, but could you pull your hair back during hair service, you know? So you don't get your hair and people's food, it's kind of elementary. Don't worry about yourself about full of charters, I did that already, I did that already.

I don't think you did. You literally have your head down in your face. I then accustomed to her serving more food with her hair down. And then we go to the conversation on the table. And a lady goes, hey, they still do that twat tournament? Captain goes, the what? And the guy's like, oh, that's the Texas women's

angler tournament. I guess glad to clarify that for me. And no one gets it. What's there to clarify? The twat competition. Yeah. So the guests go to bed and listen, James or buy the hot tub, but James is being really distant.

And he's like, so what's going on lately? What makes you smile? She goes, you make me smile. I like you. And then Captain Lee goes to bed. I'm gonna bid you good people, I'd you, and have fun with the twats as in the Texas West, Texas women's angling torment. And James tells Elizabeth, I like you, Texas women's angling torment. And James tells Elizabeth, I like you, but one day at a time, oh god, because she's so, she's like in rehab to get over you.

Can't over yourself. And James says, I like Liz, you know, I wanted to carry on, but she didn't have my back, and mean my emotional baggage, we've seen this before. So I pull back, which is a defense mechanism, which I'm a new rush to change. Yeah, because if he changes it, then he can't fuck women and then leave them.

Because it's what he relies on. Poor James. Poor poor James. Poor poor James, the only person who's ever had trust issues. Yeah, so guys, there's been a lot of pooping, a lot of not pooping, a lot of not pooping then pooping, but guess what? Now we get not peeing. Okay.

Liz has to keep getting out of bed to go to the bathroom and then we see her texting in the dark and it says, I'm struggling with a UTI and I'm worried about working tomorrow. And so then Francesca gets pissed. Oh, then it's like a commercial break. Like, yeah. UTI, UTI cliffhanger. And then Francesca's like, well, this is annoying because you know Rachel and Ashley are pushing through it,

but not Liz. I think that she's taking advantage of the situation, just to have more cranberry juice. She's really taking advantage of that UTR, she's got. That lucky UTI get up. So she's like, well, I have this UTI. Like sorry, breakfast is it not be there. So then the little dog is being which the camera man has to show us every single time.

And then the slide is put out. And Francesco goes up to the captain and he's like, so, Liz has a urinary tract infection. We should get a doctor also Rachel and Ashling have stomach infections. And I don't know the easiest peep check. So we should probably do something about that. And I think this can all be traced back to Elizabeth not doing the laundry correctly. Am I right? Am I right? We should fly a hair, shouldn't we? So she tells Eddie everyone's say, and he's like, God, we're just going to have a tree arching the mess. Oh, yeah. So they call Dr. Williams and Dr. Williams, like, hello, good morning. And Dr. Williams

had to come visit. And then Dr. Norma Williams. Norma Williams. She said, hello And then... Dr. Norma Williams. Norma Williams. She's like, hello, this is Dr. Norma Williams. Is there anything I can get for you? We've got stomach medicine, belly dancers, extra debt crew if you might need them. We even got some caviar. We got an extra tin of caviar.

I don't know what we got an extra one. Maybe someone forgot to get some at one point. But we got that too. Whatever you need, Dr. Williams is here to help So breakfast everybody's having their waffles and Actually goes to check on them and she's like, hey, well you guys and Justin's like, oh hey you doing Yeah, just like Learing so Ashley still feels bad and then

So Ashling still feels bad and then down in the crew mess, James is on Rob's phone looking at his Instagram and Ashling is there and Izzy and so is Elizabeth and James is like, well I'm gonna go double tap on all the fit-pits on your phone. Oh, you know, you got Instagram for the reasons, wrong reasons Rob, minds full of girls hot girls girls and my marriage someday maybe for green card I don't know speaking out loud So Liz Lee's and she's like what a weird comment like I can't deal with that shit Yeah, and then everyone the girls are like you need to be considerate lunches here You can't be you can't be doing that and he's like oh really? I forgot she was here at one point You can't be doing that and he's like oh really I forgot she was here at one point I mean what that actual like right in front of me like when nothing like was Rachel right about James this whole time And then they're like Ashley and as he heard just kind of like coming down on James He's like why do I feel like I'm in the doghouse like I've done something wrong and is he's like

Because you are in the dog case because you've done something wrong. And it is like, because you are in the doghouse, because you have done something wrong. It's like, it's a general concern for other, it's like general consideration for other people's feelings, too. Yeah, really, really simple ways. Stop being so passive aggressive. Yeah. Oh, below deck, this pretends to be a bad about, but it it's really about gross gross people in love Okay, gross people in love with gross people and that brings us to the end of below dick Everyone have a great day and definitely go to watchacrapas.com to get your tickets for the crappies and also vote It's only two days away, so there's not a lot of time left and we'll catch you tomorrow when we are recapping Real Housewives of Dallas. Should be a fun one.

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