Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Toilet

Episode Date: October 8, 2019

"Below Deck" has returned, and this time the yacht has made its way to Phuket, Thailand where the temperatures are high and the bowel movements are frequent. We're already sweating. Get tix to our live shows: http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what Kids what happens when there's so much that happens Watch what happens when there's so much that happens Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is a cartoon parody of the Real Housewives of New York, and it's available on YouTube. Go check it out right now. And joining me is a wonderful person

who is dressed in just a lovely burgundy shade today. I know this because it's a crappin' on demand day, which means we are filming this and by filming, I mean, put the cameras on on Skype. That's supposed to just doing audio. It's Ronnie Carrham, what's going on, Ronnie? I am! How's it going, baby? Oh my God, it's going Carram. What's going on Ronnie? Hi! How's it going baby?

Oh my god, it's going so well. I'm very excited about this new season of Below Deck. I'm like thrilled. But crap is on demand if you want to watch us. Not just listen to us go to patreon.com slash watch where crap ends. And by the way, in like few days we're going to be in Atlanta, same weekend as at Atlanta Pride, for our two big shows. The early show we are recapping the latest Real Housewives of Dallas, which should be amazing, as usual. I keep saying everything's amazing.

It's amazing, everything's amazing. Late show, the late show we are doing, a classic New York episode, the one with Ray, it's season eight episode seven, airing your dirty laundry. It is such a good episode, one of the best ones. I was watching some clips from it this weekend and I was like, oh my God, we are going to have so much fun recapping it. So come, please join us, come to

both shows, do whatever you want. But we'd love to see you all there and we want to fill as many seats as possible because that energy will just be amazing. So go to watchcraftpins.com for tickets to that show. And then in addition to that, we are also going to Chapel Hill and Richmond next week.com for tickets to that show. And then in addition to that, we are also going to Chapel Hill and Richmond next week. We're going to recap Orange County and Dallas in Chapel Hill and Richmond respectively. And then after that, we have a bunch of shows. We're going to want a Tampa, Florida. We're going to Fort Lauderdale. We're going to Indianapolis, Chicago, New York, St. Louis, Philadelphia, Denver, closing at the year in Seattle and then starting

up back again in January with the Crapie Awards in downtown LA. Not a lot of tickets left for that by the way. And Detroit, Columbus, Austin, also, those tickets, I think less than 50 or less for Austin and Houston, Texas. So a great awesome schedule coming up. And if you come to our shows by all means, be sure to wear some of the merchandise. We love that. And there's some awesome new merchandise in the store. Long live.

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Bueller needs attention. Bueller needs, you know, while you deal with Bueller, I can also say that last week, we sent out the crap in his newsletter. And we got a bunch of people who were like, I didn't get it. I didn't get it. Even though I signed up for it. Obviously check your spam folders. Also a lot of people didn't realize that like you know with Gmail there's like the different tabs. Bueller I am trying to make an announcement okay. It may be in one of those tabs so take a look because

we can see like how many of them are open or unopened. They're a bunch of them that got delivered that people do not open because I don't think they realize where it is. Rude, uh, so just like double check all your tabs and Gmail and your spam filters and all that and it's there. And if you can't find it, I think there's a link on our social media. So everything should be okay. That was it.

Newsletter update. What's with everybody? Here we are for a new season of below deck. No, regular. Blow deck regular. Blow deck classic. Classic original flavor. Yeah. Yeah, it's so funny. It's so funny making the switch over from Blow Deck, Med to Blow Deck classic because it's basically the same show, but you

just start off with new people on the boat. There's no like different. It's like, you know, yeah, this show cat recasts every year like they didn't bring ho juziah back or Oh, you know, I think well, they did bring more back. They're starting to bring more people back But it is weird seeing them not cast certain people over again But um man, you really forget sometimes who people are like someone was talking about Baker today and I had to look up Baker. Oh, yeah, I forget Baker. Yeah, Baker was like, yeah, man, let's get on man. Yeah, now I totally remember her, but you know, these shows, it's like scrub your brain scrub your brain for the new season. I was a little surprised that Josiah was not back since he was a fan favorite. I was also a little surprised that Riley wasn't back since she was you know she was so You know What's the word I'm looking for?

Well, she's out impassioned impassioned. She's great for drama If you ever want that just go go read her Twitter. She's just fighting with people every day. It's hilarious She's always fighting about hunting. She's always like you have a problem with hunting. I was like I So She's always like you have a problem with hunting. I was like I So She's still her you know got it got it got it. She's hilarious. I know I thought that should be back I'm maybe she will be back on a future season because she was sort of TV gold And Ross I thought Ross. I mean I just thought last season would all be back on a future season because she was sort of TV gold. And Ross, I thought Ross, I mean, I just thought last season would all be back basically. Yeah, but they never are. They break your heart every year. But thankfully, we still have Miss Kate Chastain and

Captain Lee, who's having a very sexy year. A lot of shirtless Captain Lee this year. A lot of Captain Lee, I'm shirtless Captain Lee because I need to have my cereal and clean windows and I'll get take my goddamn shirt off because it's so hot in this goddamn country So we open we are in Fuck it or a Foucai as educated people call it Fun fun fact. I'm actually going to Foucaquet at the end of this month for a gay wedding.

Can you believe it? It's a gay wedding is already very exciting, but I'm first time in Asia, so I'm going there. So I'm basically keeping my eyes peeled and I'm already very nervous based on this entire episode. I am like, because they basically spend the entire episode melting. And I am very nervous for myself. Yeah, I sweat when it's 60 degrees outside. I don't need no fuck it. If you're not need that in my life, you know, I would just be a complaining mess.

Yeah, it just looks hot and humid and totally beautiful, but also like, I don't know how humans can can exist in that in that temperature. And they do. And it's so beautiful. So here we start real quick cuts of the intro to the season. I'm so excited to be in Thailand. Okay. So excited. It's been on my bucket list for years. Wow. Wow. Wow, Thailand.

It's exciting. Kate's excited to face. Yeah. Wow. Weather weather is clear and there's no air conditioning anywhere in this country. I've been to Paradise. And I've also been to me, which is Paradise. I've been to Toronto.

Oh, well. Yeah. I have been to me. Yeah I I was just gonna say I really appreciate you making that reference What been a paradise Because I've never been to never been to me Charlie and the classic Charlie and reference So captain leaves like sometimes the inmates think they run the asylum. Well, they need a goddamn wake-up call goddamn.

He probably says about everything he does, right? He goes to Applebee is like, okay, sir. My name is Nicholas. Can I recommend the popcorn? Oh, okay, another inmate running the asylum again. I'll tell you what I goddamn want. I asked for your goddamn name next time. Oh I thought you were gonna say he says they need a wake up call all the time. He's like the target customer service Listen, I got this ninja blender. He's a goddamn wake up call. You're gonna take it back I don't care how many days it's been got a damn it. Hey target. I got one of these Gold-plated pineapples that you sell guess what it needs a wake up call because it's not a real Pineapple take it back fucking pineapple fire apples are everywhere. So

Ashton Maristin is basin. Look at that. I need to learn a lot, but I'm gonna have a lot of fame You think you have a lot of fun. That means you can get drawn from being a hooker in a production van. Yeah, so we did so we did some we did a episode on our bonus episode. I'm sorry my voice. We did a bonus episode covering the preview of this. So if you guys want to go here, we made a bunch of really inaccurate guesses from what I can remember. One of them was this chef. I'm still not really sure what to make of this chef.

He's going to be a giant asshole, but I'm kind of liking him too. I'm not sure what to say about it. I don't know. I don't know. He looks talented. From what he has played it, he seems very talented, because we basically suffered through like a season of blow-deck med where there was just a lot of food issues and you know Ben came in towards the

end and did some elevated stuff but honestly just in the first episode this guy put out some some real sort of like wow moments so he looks talented which means he will be probably an awful person. Yeah, as Kate says. Yeah, he's like, I've been a pro chef for 15 years and a yacht chef for six. And I guess I can come across as cocky. I've made some waitresses cry. Mainly because I shout all over them. I have a week intestinal system.

Oh God. Yeah, if you guys don't like poop talk, you're not going to like this episode. This must have been tough for you, Ronnie, huh? Listen, I hate poop talk. It's like Brandy and Stephanie wrote this episode. Ronnie hates poop talk. I actually am okay with poop talk oddly enough. And this this episode was like, it was right, it was front and center, right? And like they had all the audio.

I mean, it was, it was full on poop talk. And then we get Simone who is already my pageant, pageant, supporting character. Yeah, Beijing's to Simone who loves cleaning and doing laundry, unlike Mary Dometeson's Simone. Yeah, exactly. We also have Courtney who, she's actually my, my breakout star because she seems like she's just going to like just get worse and worse and worse and I'm really excited for that to happen. Yes, she's like I like yawning but I don't like working.

Well you chose the perfect profession where you're working and not yawning. Except for you're all the yacht working. Domaz! except when you're on the art working. Thomas. So then Brian. Yeah, we see so this is all like little preview stuff, right? But we still kind of meet people. Brian's like, how does Brian talk?

I think he's also South African. I think like we have a very large South African. We have three South Africans on the cast this season, which means we really have to start shaping up that because our, I think our South African accent is just sort of like a weird New Zealand accent. We just was like, these and eat, so we probably have to like figure out how to do it or not. We can just keep doing our sort of pan Australian accent for everything. Yeah, why not? We use it for everything. Listen, you get five voices here for me. Just tailor them up. So yeah, Brian's like our workout to get where I

am a little more wannabe. Well, let's love for the other bit of fun, huh? Ding. And he's totally hot. Yeah. And then we get Tanner. Okay, so Tanner's like the stereotype from Long Island is a flit which means fucking Long Island douchebag Yeah, and then we see him like doing like a kneeling kind of keg stand thing with water or something And then he's like my motto is GVO good vibes only. I'm like okay, you're already ruined it Like you can't say you're not a douchebag and they just start giving anagram

You can't know you can't have two acronyms We're acronyms you well you can't do anagrams or acronyms. Okay. He is banned He's banned from word play as far as I'm concerned first of all flit I've never heard of fluid doesn't mean it doesn't exist But like it's not it's like not funny like flit always a flit Like are you trying to make fluid a thing? Fucking long Island douchebag? Yeah, he's coming on and trying to make his own,

what is the Jersey short thing? Jim Tand laundry, GTL. GTL, yeah. But that felt more like at least they didn't try to make it into a word like Jiddle. You know, they weren't like, hey Jiddle, Jim Tand laundry is like fluid. You know, fluid. I'm like, I'm like,y's like flid. You know flid. I'm like

Yeah, but then he comes back to earth with gbo good vibes only and then we Know I'm not I don't I don't respect him for making an acronym out of like a very played out t-shirts Not like saying you know good vibes only Geva Geva Long Island is split Geva gather. You say it more guyland splits gather. You say it more giland gather stands for good

and tedious hearts. And to enter. Red have good and tedious hearts enter rehab. And then we see the captain saying pack. And then we see the captain saying, and then Kate go, I quit. And then walking along the walking along the dot going, don't follow me. Don't follow me. Don't follow me.

Is that pat? Okay, it can follow me. So then we get the opening. So that's it. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, Dun dun dun. That's mad. I'm telling you that's mad. I'm gonna get look. I'm gonna get it up I'm getting it up and we're going to here. I'm gonna get it just vamp everyone vamp until I get it into position Dun dun. Well, while we're talking here. Here we go. Ready? Are you ready? I'm gonna press wait hold on a few more frames. Okay, ready? Here we go. This is the below deck theme song Of course, it's not of course. This is the below deck theme song.

Of course, there's no audio coming out. Thanks a lot. You bitch. Why is it not playing the audio? That really makes me really mad. Really mad. I was about to have a whole demonstration here and like No, this is just not good here Can't believe I met him. because below deck med is the one that goes down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down down Triximonical. I'm loving to stop saying fuck it. It's fuket. The the fuket Triximonical the fuketian. Triximonical. Fuketian. The fukanesian. Fukanesian Triximonical. Captain is like, huh, well, Kate's gonna be nice and sweaty from walking down the block. And here comes Kate and our favorite below that costume, the scarf, the case scar, which we she will wear if she's on a date. Or when she's going somewhere formal, I love that she's just kept that scarf moving throughout the years. The real question is, since it's so hot and Foucait, will Kate ever have an opportunity to bust out her light sweater that she wears in the evenings or in the early mornings

when it's like a little cool out? Oh hell yes, how dare you even question that? You think the little beige light sweater is gonna be able to come out? Oh yeah, she'll find a way, she'll get freezing somehow. There'll be a storm or something. It's full of deck, you know,

they'll freeze them somehow. She's just gonna knock on like God's door, but like, hi, um, so the guests are complaining that it's actually a little too warm and fuket. Do you think maybe we could just lower the temperature? I'm just concerned about their happiness for a good tip. Thanks God. And then like, all of a sudden it's cooler.

Oh, you know, that's a known fact. Then people are colder than normal people. So she's like, wow, it's hot here. Thailand is like any other place on the planet. It's beautiful. The massage is a great and I love the bad tie. Pat ties actually name of my first two. She's so good. We have to fire her already though. Pepper my patty tie. I do love that time. I do. I love Pat's to you too. Sometimes I can't decide which one I like more. I don't like anything that says I see you. That's a basic, it's basically a dish that's

about Padma seeing you. I see you. Did you mean to be seen while I'm eating you and doodle? Did you mean to sweat in Foucaat? I'll tell you one person who could never go to fucat. My dear friend Gail Simmons, she'd be, if you've ever seen like a, a creamsicle, just melt in your hands, that's basically her. Bless her heart. She would lick her own self up. We call it the Gail lick. She just can't stop licking herself. Guess that's Irish too. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to,

I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Season 8 episode 7 watch a crap and thought come for tickets So she comes into me to see the captain. He's like he's working. He's like who the hell does science charts and doesn't put debts on him. Oh, hey, I can They have they have a nice hug. Hey, I can't how's it going? So they have a nice hug and then we learn that there's going to be a new chef named Kevin and we cut to him and he just drops his bag as he's walking to the boat. Already a bad sign if you're getting the slaps to get it. Yeah, they're like, he's talented. He's worked on 138 meters before. No, they cut to him just dropping his bag. And Kate's like, wow, that's a lot of food. So then we see, they keep cutting back and forth to Simone who can't figure out which the door is, which one is the door.

It's like I said, laughter, right? Yeah, we learned that the stews are gonna be Simone and Courtney and meanwhile, Ashin comes on board and he is going, he's back to be the boss in this season and Kate's like, Captain Lisa's Ash action is gonna be the, the boss in and Kate goes, I mean, he kind of earned it. Which is so funny because like, I love how even her compliments just sound like they're insults. He kind of earned it.

Yeah. Hey, you know, he fell off. Yeah, he was totally irresponsible and didn't pay attention to safety and almost lost his life. So I guess he earned it. And Captain's like, Fowler hasn't pay attention to safety and almost lost his life. So I guess he earned it And captains like valor hasn't changed much. She's a comfy old broad, which is also how people describe me So I thought that was pretty interesting have a lot in common with that boat So it looked nicer by the way. It looked like it got valid. It looked like it got a face like it did look nicer Yeah, I don't remember what it looked like last time

But I don't feel like we ever had a boat that was like all stark white, you know, like I feel like last time there's a lot of Lapis Lazuli or whatever it's called, you know, is that a font? Maybe, it's like that blue, it's also probably the name of like someone who just signed up for like UCB 101 improv. Hi, I'm Lapis Lazuli. Yes, and I guess I already have a handle on this. I guess you could say. Oh, God. Everyone's like, he made up that name. Lier. So Courtney and Simone meet each other and Ashton is saying, hi to Captain Lee and the captain's like, how look at you? Both feet. Got them both, don't. Good for you you kid. That's a call back to when you almost kill yourself last season And yeah, so anyway, you're both on now, so that's fun

I'm gonna remind you of that shatily every chance I get all right Little later when I tell you how to put the ropes But it over It over it's like he got dragged into the ocean. I think you'll remember this time Yeah, so so Ashton's looking at who his his crew is going to be and he sees there's someone named Abigail and he goes, we let's hope that she doesn't have rid here and then just a custom her just with this big red hair walking down walking down the dock to the boat. Did she not have a headshot on her

page? Because everyone else has like a little headshot, right? I'm like, hi. You know, I don't know. Or is that just the game? Sure she did. Maybe I'm thinking of the guests. So yeah, Ashden's like hope she does my for advice while I'm bingo. And he's like, ha, sexual harassment hilarious and fuket. Some amazing how things are just completely disregarded once you're on the water. Like the low deck and it's terrible record of I don't think that was sexual harassment. Not yet. I thought it was just a reference to Riley.

Oh, it's Riley. I thought he was saying, I don't, I hope I don't, you know, I hope I don't want to banger. I like, I hope I'm not attracted to it. I know. Well, you know, now who's a sexual aggressor? Me and her is doing what you're thinking. Well, guess who just, guess who just projected some sexuality onto a Riley reference.

Guess who's eating his foot now. Glad you've got him both kids. Wow, Ronnie, it sounds like you need a one-way ticket out of here. I'll take it. You know, the only person on this show who would be like, oh, a free plan and I will totally take it. Can I choose where I get to get sent to you? Thanks Maybe the Prague so then So now we have we meet our other deck hands Brian and Tanner who we mentioned before and then Captain Lee Captain Lee is like well, I haven't been very captain Lee like in the past 30 seconds So let me just say one thing to you ashton I hope I hope Ashton really steps up because babysitting is not going to happen.

Ain't going to happen this time. No babysitting. Okay. It's going to be called adventures and not babysitting adventures and anything but babysitting just adventures. Yeah. Guess what the what club this isn't the babysitters club. You know what this you know what this club is called it's called the stepping up club not the babysitting club. It's the stepping up standing and having initiative. You're clump. So Courtney and Simone are talking and Simone's like, where are you from? And Courtney's like, um, thank you for Canada. You South Africa.

She's like, it's morning. Santa hinting. It's like, yes. Yeah, Courtney just looks like, mm-hmm. It is. It is a hinting. That's like, yes. Yeah, Courtney just looks at her like, mm-hmm. It is. It is a hinting accent. Like when Courtney gave her that like unnecessary corner face, yeah, she just gave such a stink face

about that about her accent. I was like, oh my god, I love her. She's going to be awful. Yeah, I just put Courtney dead eyed. Yes. I'm so much like every time I speak, people are like, wait, my lips are moving too fast. So I'm like, okay, I like her.

I like Simone too. I feel bad because Simone's probably have to do with a lot of shit from Courtney, you know? Yeah, well I think everybody around Courtney is gonna deal from shit from Courtney. She's just one of those people. It's like how was dinner? It sucked, I've had better fed. Everything was terrible. The mid just terrible. I hated the water.

That was filtered water. I'm like, So, um, yeah, so so Kevin is on board and so Kate meets Kevin in the hallway. She's like, okay, well, this could be your room You're gonna be you are rooming with Ashton and you guys can figure out whether you're gonna be top or bottom Whatever he goes. I like I'm like a bottom. I was like, okay. Well, you just set us up Set us up. Okay, I'm just let that one roll right off of me If the season's young, I'm gonna work my way up to those sort of jokes. I'll just tilt my head a little bit and go You're hot. So you know, there's that. And she's like, wow, you know, if I had a dollar for every crazy yacht chef that I work with, I would only

yacht with the crazy chef. And then Kate then she's like, Kevin looks like Tom Cruise makes a huge rant. And, you know, I hope, you know, I hope he's going to break the mode of the crazy mold of the crazy the crazy chef, but God has a wicked sense of humor and I'm pretty sure he will be oh and he's shitting in the bathroom already Okay, yes, no, he did not break the mold. He's terrible. Yes, okay Well, I mean Tom Cruise and he grant are both hot, but I don't think anybody was Hugh Grant makes with Tom Cruise like nobody goes looking for that Like maybe if it was you know know, pre-crazy couch jump. And yeah, I'm not looking for a Hugh Grant Tom Cruise moment.

Like I don't even know how that's possible to like mix Tom Cruise as hyper energy and intensity with Hugh Grant's like low-key bashfulness. Like does that even work? Like I think that like Kate just created a black hole of personality. Like they like those who just came together created a black hole and then any people around that like metaf,

that mixture of people just get sucked into it. I mean, never hear from them again. Yeah. So she's like, So I heard you work on quite large boats. She's like 138 meters. Yeah. Like oh god, here we go.

Yeah. Then the Long Island guy is coming on the boat Tanner and he's like Jimmie Yeah, where did that come from Jimmie? I was like, yeah, that's just another fluid for you just saying Jimmie So then Abby is talking to one of the other deck hands and she's like Sailing's my passion, but I've actually never worked on a motorboat. I was like, oh, great, glad to see you'll be taking this job. And she goes, I used to work in law, and then I just said, fuck this, and I moved to Greece.

You know, my gut is my best friend. I'm like, she is gonna be a problem. She will be. You're gonna be your poor friend, okay? You're gonna be your poor friend, because the rich friend would have been like, stay in law school. She's like, I was the mom enforcement. Yeah, fuck this.

And she's like, growing up, we didn't have a lot of money. But then, you know, Greece, and my family was like, she has a full scholarship to law school. How dumb is she? I was like, oh my god, be a lawyer. Then you could charter the boat. Because I just imagine that all lawyers are just dripping with diamonds and money, you know,

because I watched the good wife and the good fight. This has been awkward. The lawyers on that are like worth $90,000,000. Yeah. And you got to imagine that Selina and Barnes are just like raking it in, you know? Yeah. And then this Tanner guy is exactly who you think. Like, he's so, he's so the long Island girl.

Because he's like, where are you from? He's like, New York originally, but I live in Lauderdale now. Yeah. For a bid, you waste time on the fort. Yeah And by the way great way to tie in the fact that we have a four-letter show coming up so you know exciting Yeah That's all I had to say about that like I'm maybe

So yeah, she's like um, well, that's great. He, well, if you're a meds fan, I won't like that. She's like, I'm not a meds fan. I'm from Boston. And he's like, even worse. Yeah. I don't like Tanner. I have to say he rubs me the wrong way. He really, really does.

I feel like Tanner, the act so confident, like, you know, he could kick your butt, but he still waxes his eyebrows, which means like he's really deeply insecure. No offense people who wax our eyebrows. I know that's probably 80%. your butt, but he still waxes his eyebrows, which means like he really deeply insecure. No offense people who wax our eyebrows. I know that's probably 80%. Just being like guys doing, you know, I don't know. I feel like he still has a need for approval. That's what I'm trying to say. I know and you really enjoy that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just don't like him because I feel

like if I were in a situation with him, I'd be forced to like laugh at jokes that he makes I don't think are funny and then I'd have to like later on have to have like a talk with Kay it'd be like he's not funny right I always like have I was like laugh to be polite but he's not funny and that and then like she'd be like yeah no he's not funny at all I'm so glad you said that and then we bond over it which would be fun but then going forward every time you tell the bad joke now that I've verbalized it they would annoy me even more you know I see I feel you I just like going forward every time you tell the bad joke now that I've verbalized they would annoy me even more, you know. I see. I feel you. I just like what you let the guy in the bag.

If I like to have that stamp that says no, and I just say no, I don't approve, you know, makes me feel powerful. So then Kate me through stews and she's like, so we're going to have a talk about experience. So Courtney, tell me about your favorite part of working on a yacht. And Courtney's like, I only really did one. I guess I like the guest, but service makes me nervous because I'm not used to servitude.

I'm saying. Oh my. Kits like, hmm, okay. Let me just, I want Courtney, do you see the angle of my head vis-a-vis my neck? This is the I'm judging you angle and I'm not happy with what I'm finding. That's what I'm right here. Yeah. Yeah, it's okay. This is Anna. So why do you not why do you not why do you not Why does service make you uncomfortable and she's basically like I was like an. And like, I just was used to a lot of people giving me attention. And like, I'm used to being served not me serving other people.

It's like, hmm, okay. So you basically want to be on TV. Like, why are you here? Why are you here? Why are you in service? You dumbass. Does in Kate like, uh, well, what's your least favorite part? I think she just told you.

Yeah. But okay, I liked that what's your least favorite part? I think she just told you. Yeah. But okay, I like that that's considered her positive part. Yeah. And she's like, um, my least favorite part is ironing, like, I don't understand how it works. Like you just put an iron on clothing and then just magically flatens out. Like what sort of thing is that?

I went to law school. I mean, I went to school and I learned absolutely nothing. Okay, I think I actually lost brain cells. And now I have to work to pay off student loans. Yeah. This is stupid. I won't be sitting at the table. Okay, I hate this.

And the months like, well, I've been doing this for maybe two years. I mostly help with laundry, but you know, service underneath some card lines, but I'm good at laundry. It's like never say that. Never say I'm good at laundry. Say I'm good at service. Even if you said, haven't you watched this show? Yeah, because she's going to be stuck in that laundry room the entire season. And then she's, you get mad and then she's going to say that she feels like she's not being used all the usual stuff. I know. And then we see her the rest of the episode off she does this laundry. Every time they cut their ass, it's just like a pile of fucking laundry. Poor thing. Yeah. So now, yeah. So Courtney is

gonna be the third stew because she doesn't really know what she's doing and Simone's gonna be the second stew. And then meanwhile up on the deck Abby is talking to Brian and she's like, she's like, so do you guys get like American TV in South Africa? He's like, yeah, we get it all. I mean, it's not like animals are running around everywhere. She's like, oh, you know, she was like just about to ask about like if his hut has running water. Yeah. So Ashen comes to meet them and he's like, hello, or mentioned, I'll be your base in and I'll be a sweet tit. He's like, I don't understand what that means. But if we all come from that's a huge insult. So, so he makes

Brian his lead decad. And he's like, let's make this a place experience. Shally. So then we, he introduces he introduces them to Kate and she's like, Oh, hi, Abby, you're my roommate. Yeah. So that means, um, it's going to be in the top bunk and you'll be doing what I say. So yeah, um, to get your fingers orange from putting hot and fiery Cheetos into my mouth, lunch, right?

Sleep. We're going to be having a lot of girl talk. And my girl talk will be me talking and you listening. And you can't turn against me because otherwise I'll make your life a living hell. Great. Yeah. Good to meet you.

So then Tanner tells us that he also got a business, well, he got a, he actually went through, did, I don't know if Courtney went all the way through business school, but Tanner got a business degree. But now he likes doing yachting because like, you know, being barefoot and being a t-shirt for a living, that's like how you live a life, you know what I'm saying? I'm like, this is like the most educated crew

we've ever seen, like ever law school, two business degrees. I mean, there's gonna be someone who like just finished up like some crazy, like went to Johns Hopkins and special, just finished up a residency in urology. And it's like, and then Hopkins and special I just finished a presidency in urology and it's like and then I've decided I just want to be on a boat. Yeah. What's going on with this crew? Yeah. So then we get the staff meeting. It's like welcome aboard Valor. All right. Now before we get to anything I want

to introduce you to the crew two crew members. I'm sure I'm not gonna have to guide the baby sit. Hey and Dar Darian, alright, chief engineer. Yeah, and Darian. I was Darian on last season two. I feel like we had Darian last time. I'll be enough. I don't know. I only like a buck in the duck, you know, when they rhyme. I don't like these. Like Larry and Barry. The season. Yeah, I think Larry and Barry. Yeah. Larry and Barry. No, not rhyming workers. I can read about.'m very non rhyming workers.

I can read about that. And Darian, please. So Captain League, Captain League of us. All right. Couple of rules about behavior. Okay. I don't want to catch you embarrassing yourself or the boat or the clean windows. If you know what I'm saying. And if I have to bail anybody out of jail, you will go strict to the airport. You will not collect $200. That's right. It's a reverse monopoly where you go from jail to the airport, which is now a new space on the board. There will be no community chest, but there will be a chance that I will be reading a railroad

minus the railroad that I get asked. If you know what I'm saying, hashtag. Just like this. Hashtag hymnble. Symbol. Hashtag tiny tennis shoe. Hashtag dog. I'm out of my not believe it's the viral hashtag blue dollars. And let me tell you something. If any goddamn person on this crew tries to buy a house or even a hotel on God damn Mediterranean

Avenue. Guess what? This is below deck classic, not below deck. Med one way ticket to jail and then the airport. All right. Either the airport or a donkey. I might make climb over cliffs and cliffs for you to find the airport. It was hilarious. I'm never going to forget that one. All right. Now who's going gonna be the shoe? Who's the shoe? So Abby's just looking at him this whole time like oh my god he's terrifying. Yeah she is very very scary. Now last year I don't know if I've mentioned this but Ashton over there almost lost a leg alright so I cannot stress radios enough radio kill video kill the radio star All right, but it saved us life make that out in your head all right you

I Cannot stress Radio's enough get to work see that stress out the radio right there. I can't stress it out enough get to work radio I can't stress it out enough. Get the work radio. So 24 hours before the guests arrive. Provision! Provision apocalypse! Yeah.

So everybody's just drinking a ton of water because everybody's really, really hot. I hate watching the provisions because it reminds me too much of when I've had to do stuff like that in other jobs, when I've had... Like, everything? Yes. You know, like, I hate that. It reminds me of when I've had to do stuff like that in other jobs when I've had like things. Yes. You know, like I hate that. It reminds me of when I was a PA and like I had to bring like boxes of Crystal Guys or Waters from the van to here and

then back and forth and it's like the worst and like watching it when I watch them do that stuff it doesn't make me feel like I'm part of the yawning experience just reminds me of times when I've had to like do that or like just even for my parents, Benjamin, bringing the Crystal Guys are up from downstairs. I'm like, damn. Oh, I still hate that. I try and pretend I don't hear them coming home

when I'm staying at home. I don't hear the garage door open. I'm like, I don't have to help with groceries. I'm like, what are you 10? Always. Hold, get your ass out. This doesn't matter how old you are. If you're already doing something,

and then someone shows up And then it's like help with the groceries. You just never want to do it ever because you're already doing something Totally with you. So they're drinking water and then Abby is talking to Brian and guess what guys Brian is our cast member of the season He's doing it for his daughter You know, I was I was had my daughter with my girlfriend and then things got kind of terrible because I was drunk all the time and then you know it's like the same story we have every

single year is that just basically Ross. Yeah. He's like I have a daughter. It was my high school sleep hat and basically I drank too much and things went here. I just want to be a real model for my daughter. Want to be a real model for my daughter. Well, don't go on reality TV because that's not where it's going to happen. So then what can I back? The crew must have five action Kevin and Kate because it's time for the meat.

Another meeting. It's like, all right. Charter one Michael Castelano entrepreneur of many businesses of business blah blah blah has his own plane ticket home who cares That's me babysitting if Michael Castelano is not the name of a character on an 80 sitcom. I don't know what is Right Lolo. He's a flip He's a flip you have a remember that sitcom on NBC flid flids flids About this guy named Michael Castelano who is like he's a nice guy

But he moves to be on and so everyone there's a fluid But he's not and it's just like what does Michael Castelano do to fit in with all these flids? Also starring Angela from who's the boss? And then there was a spin off slid out of water When he moved to a different town is still didn't fit in again right after he learned how to fit in and they made this easy GVO and then they made this cartoon version They did this cartoon version that they're on Saturdays where they said like what would happen with these guys if it was like You know back in dinosaur times. So you have flid flinstone, and it's called Mita flidstones.

It's great, it's hilarious. Flid babies. Flid babies. I was thinking about Muppet babies the other day. You know, they brought it back. And it's CGI. They did? They did.

It's CGI, and I'm like, it's like, I can't, I'm morally opposed. Why? I love CGI. That's an art form. Those people are very far. No, I'm not opposed. Why? I love CGI. That's an art form. No, I'm not opposed to CGI. I'm opposed to Muppet Babies and CGI. Because Muppet Babies should be 2D like they always were. I'm sorry. I'm a Muppet Baby Traditionalist.

I will not see them in 3D. You don't have to plug into a wall to tuck into them. I do not want to see animal in 3D as CGI 3D. If he's going to be in 3D, make CGI 3D if he's gonna be a 3D make him a muppet like an actual puppet. Yeah So yeah, so he's coming in and he wants a private candlelight dinner with a violinist because he's gonna prop Pobbles to his girlfriend Yeah, and Kate's like this is very advanced level. Okay, two dinners and one night and two stews. She don't like service that level. Okay, two dinners and one night and two stews. She don't like service.

Reverse. Reverse. Reverse. Reverse. I also like that when they're looking at the guests, K just looks at them and goes very cute couple. I mean, I'm sorry that this is coming up on me right now in the middle of your sentence, but is Flynn dill backwards? I think it is. I don't think you need to write it down. I think it is. Flid. It is, it is Dilf, right? It is. Dilf. Okay, there's some useless knowledge for you guys, okay? It's like the Dilf of Flid's. You know what Tulsa is backwards? A slut.

How about that? How about that? This was more disrespectful than mine. No, mine is very respectful because it's no more to Golden Girls, which was from a time when Slut Shaming was fun for the whole family. Because that show all they do is call people sluts.

That was some Saturday night fun times. It was just like Dorothy saying, no, you sluts to blanch all the time. So then we got a Courtney ironing, which is she's ironing with some money. She's like, oh my God, I can't iron. This is so crazy. They just rewrinkle, why can't this work? I just don't, now that girl's smart.

Okay, she may be obnoxious at the beginning, but she's smart. She knows how to get out of ironing. Yeah, also, I was like, what am I doing up on screen there? Complaining about ironing that re-wrinkles. I was like, oh wait, no, that's Courtney. Because that's my whole thing.

I iron and I'm like, there, I ironed this shirt and I pick it up and I'll re-wrinkles. And then I complain to no one. And I'm like, just re-wrinkled. But it does rerinkled How do you make it not rerinkled? Ironing is a fucking nightmare. I know what should be subjected to that no one So um, let's see here then Simone so then Simone starts talking about how like 0.02% of people in yachting are people of color so she's had to work really hard to get where she is because a lot of times

People wanted blonde here blue I etc etc So I'm like I'm actually pretty glad they addressed that because it's something that we mentioned like finally There's like a person of color on on the on the staff which is good and then and she's like talking about how She's had to work so hard to get to where she had where she is and yawning and then it just cuts back to Courtney going It's wrinkled again and yawning and then it just cuts back to Courtney going, it's wrinkled again. And I earn a. So then Kevin is doing like that weekly meal prep thing you do where he's putting everything in tepour wears.

He's just getting all of his ingredients separated and all the nuts, all the different nuts in a different top work container. And it says 10-15 PM. Yeah, he's just staying up with his temperuairs. And he goes, uh, question Kate, and she's like, yes. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, do you happen to have a libel maker? And she's like, okay, uh,

yeah, love the concept, love the inner retentiveness, love how specific that request is and how you want to be organized. Don't love that you didn't come with your own because you could have done that. And also, you may notice I'm cleaning and we have guests coming tomorrow so maybe you should focus on other things. I guess I would say is that's a second to your priority because it's a lot to do. So love the enthusiasm, hate the ability to not see how unimportant that is right now.

Thank you. Going back into the cabinet. Bye. I guess he does her first response is to talk to him like he's he's five because that's always her first thing when she goes. What are you labeling? He's like, well, I have to put all the spices and stuff into different things. I need to know what they are Well, I mean you you could just smell them in your shaft

So you could just open up and smell smell what's on your side, you know that's What's your nose? Oh, you know, what's a good idea? Don't take the original containers that had the labels already on them You know, yeah, guess what I mean containers in containers. Yeah, pre-labeled. Got some twisty ties. What does? Yeah. How about this? How about you look at the nuts and you can see that the cashews are the ones that are shaped like cashews and the pecans are the ones that are shaped like pecans. That also is really, it's almost like your eyes are labeling them for you. Yeah, so he's already pissed off at her. And tonight goes to morning, people are getting ready, and it's okay. It's like, okay, so for the wine they like, they like Pinocchio, Cabernet, Rose, but by the way,

how confident are you making drinks? And someone's like, mm-hmm. You know what I really want to do? Mike Simone? Stop doing that to yourself. No, but Simone's got it right. You know why? Because it was Kate, he said, the best thing to do is the ironing because you're down there and you're alone and you don't have to deal with all the other people, right? Like, she loved ironing. So Simone actually has it figured out.

And so, and then Courtney, who's like in the kitchen, just probably like discusses something like, ew, what's a counter? Kids like, um, do you know how to make an old fashioned? She's like, ugh, oh yeah. Is it just like, rye and like Marasino Cherry and like an orange peel and like some sour or whatever and like you just put it together and like an ice cube

and the kids like, actually, yeah, that's actually correct. Courtney is like, the only reason I know what drinks are is because I just enjoy drinking them. So I'll have an old fashioned please. Thanks. Like, you're talking to your producer. They don't know how to serve you. I went to be a drinking on Margarita.

All right, be drinking on Mamosa. All right, be a drink. I mean, sky's the limit. I can't go in crazy there with your champagne and your Mamosas. Yeah. So Kevin is like, so I think that for lunch, we're going to do some vegetable talkies. We'll do some family style, you know?

Family style? And kids like, um, are we going to do play it? We're going to do play it. Yeah. Yeah, played it. And he's like, uh, no, I don't like this. And she's like, well, family style is a gimmick. Because like, look how much food I can make.

Woo. Meanwhile, I have to carry more dishes and watch more plates. So the chef doesn't have to worry about play composition. So yeah, you have fun lacking art. Okay. Yeah. Have fun pawning off all the work onto me. Your Tyler stew who's already looking for that type of wear that I had put in the cupboard and that you took out to put things in without labels. Great, thanks.

So everybody's getting in position and then the guests are very fancy, you know, because the guy comes in and he's like, feel as much cooler than Bangkok. Yeah, I'm Michael Castelano. And then his girlfriend looks like Hitty Perry and she's like, I think it's hotter because it's you know, I mean I'm like hot and then I'm cold. It's like yes, and then no. Yeah, left and then right Up and then down You know baby firework Wow

What a strange new place where it is like I almost feel like an alien here like I'm an alien If I'm not bad soon, I'm gonna roar Anyway, watch out for the California girls for getting on a yacht So they all come on the boat and we get the the tour of the boat and the robot toilet Everyone's like wow robot toilet can't wait to shit on robots. And then a terminator commercial plays where the robots are fucking murdering us all, you know, you're sitting on your robots humans. Like, we're totally asking for the terminator commercial. No, I just watched a lot of TV

over the past few days. And I've seen it. Have you seen the new terminator commercial? the past few days. And I've seen it. Have you seen the new Terminator commercial? Like it's the scariest seminar I ever built. Yes, the new Terminator. Oh, I saw it a few weeks ago. I think I've traveled to the badass in it. She's, you know, well, I guess she's always a badass, but she's still about as I guess, but she's like, I'm lend a Hamilton and I'm older now. But guess what? Your toilet is leading the revolution.

And I'm going to stop at John Connor analog toilets for you. Yeah, soothing toilets. She just comes on the boat and starts shooting the toilet. She replaces the robot toilet. Sure places them all with Tushy. You see, it's a bidet, but it's analog. So let's see.

So this is a very important thing. There's two important things that happen right now. On the tour, I opened an apology because what I was calling the crow's nest is actually called the bunny pad. So oh yeah, but I think the bunny pad, I thought the bunny pad was the actual you're right. You know what you're right. Because I was calling it crow's nest.

You said know the crow's nest is something you climb all the way up to and blah blah blah. I was like, no, it's not. You say yes, it is. And I was like, fuck, man. And you're like, fuck grunting. And then guess what happened? You're right. It's called the bunny pad. And then I looked up and a crow's nest is exactly what really. So there you go. The crow's nest is the basket on top of the mast, right? Where you say, like, land, oh. And then the bunny

pad is the thing at the bottom where you say, hoes land on my penis. I'm getting wasted on pilgrimals. But yes, you were right. So here's two empty pilgrimals for you. I mean, I feel like you didn't hear my real stretch of the trip. You've got out a little bit. You know, it's for the best. People at home, we're going to listen.

No, I'm not doing it again. It was bad the first. Wait, let's talk. Wait, can we address this first of all? Thank you for bringing that up. So I think that Collie is not going back to Blow Deck because, okay, I love Collie, and I love Collie's mom, obviously, I love Aunt Tibby,

but the thing is this, Collie is acting like he is the big bang theory going off the air. He's like, and with this, this will be my last rap that I do about below deck. I am hanging up my below deck rap hat and I'm doing it right now. And this is with this post that the last I will speak about below deck mad. And then like his mom posted something that was like,

we love you, Collie. Congratulations on two wonderful years on the yacht. We can't wait, what your next adventure is? I'm like, what is this farewell tour? Like like we love you, Collie, but we don't need all this farewell tour. Just be you be you, Collie be you You, Collie. He's like goodbye. Goodbye Two seasons. That is a long time for a bullet. I mean that is gold watch time for a bullet that cast member to make that law I just thought it was like it was very much like this very

Just as funny this is like an end-more. Yeah. Yeah. Hi Okay, so the second important thing that happens is Kate's like okay lunch around when 30 everybody Yeah lunch at 130 lunch at 130. Yeah Oh 130 launch at 130. Yeah, 130. Roger 130. Oh, Chris like, 130. They say the lunch is coming out at 130.

This is about because very important. So are we ready? And so I was like, I left some fidgetalkers that he goes to it side. It's like, oh no, don't leave them outside. There are probably already sprouting potatoes. Shit, don't. They have actually already turned into seam veggies. They're just like, everything this, everything this season is just going to be wilted. It'll just be all right. We're saving

you a fresh wilted salad. Whitely won't wilted salad on a bit of wilted other wilted things. Wilted, wilting. So the, yes, now it's time to leave the doc. It's our first doc leaving time. So we're going to do that. So they pull up those ropes and a lot of ash, gensain things like, I really have to prove myself because I'll have to share myself that I can do this without getting an

Action this year. See we're gonna do it. And Kevin's talking about how you know, it's really all about the food like I mean who cares how the doc is pulled in and out or how the Butters pulled it in out of doc. It's really all about the feed. Would say of course, intercut with the docking drama. And then we see the crew eating spaghetti. And I was like, that is not the way to win with the crew. Okay. You can't make everything so fancy for everybody else. And then just serve them some crappy bull and ace stuff. Do they have bull and knees? So then Courtney, Courtney's making mojitos and stuff. And Kate is, Kate's very happy. She's like, Courtney's great at service, all enough,

because she doesn't seem like she's ever done anything for anyone in her entire life. And it's months great in the laundry room, and they're also nice and respectful. This is so refreshing. I can't wait for them to totally fall apart in about 48 hours. So then let's see, Kate's setting the table. them to totally fall apart in about 48 hours. So then let's see, setting the table, I'm like, Kevin, I'm going down to change. Okay, so we've just seen her working, we've just seen her saying she's going down to change. And he says, okay, so Simone goes up to take drink quarters from people. And the guys

like, Hey, when's lunch? And he goes at 130. Well, no, he says, Hey, what times lunch? I mean, no rush, it's fine, I'm just curious, which I think it. Well, no, he says, hey, what time's lunch? I mean, no rush. It's fine. I'm just curious, which I think it's important to say that he said, no big deal. Just curious. Yeah.

So then she goes down. She says she tells that by the way, she tells Michael Castellano, she says, oh, I think it's about 30 minutes a say, about 30 minutes. Something like that. Yeah. I'm just saying, it's not a joke. I'm just saying, I want, I don't know that, but the time up, but the point is that he

asks, we're like, I'm building a case. I'm building a case right now. You're getting your evidence in. So I'm just saying, these are important things. He said no big deal and then she told him 30 minutes. So he should know that in about 30 minutes. And then when she leaves Katie Perry was like I am so hungry, but she's really sweet. She wasn't complaining. She's like I'm so hungry

like I'm excited for in 30 minutes when I finally get to eat even though apparently I forgot that there were vegetaicos from you to snack on Yeah, that I just ate Sorry and some months on where can what time they could be served lunch, you know, they're just asking no big deal. It's not a big deal. And he's like, well, I'm just waiting for Kate to call it. So we're as Kate, you know, and Kate, by the way, he said, Oh, another thing is that Kate said it's going to be around 130 when we drop anchor. So, oh, I thought she said lunch at 130. She said, She said about 130 after we drop anchor.

So she's also kind of waiting to drop anchor, right? So now Simone goes in, has this conversation with Kevin, and then like turns around, and right there is Michael Castelano, and he's like, Hey, what time is lunch? I'm like, you just asked that, like two minutes ago. And you tried to act like you were totally chill and everything is fine, but now you've actually come

all the way downstairs, ask the question. The key to what he's doing, because it's what happens with my parents and restaurants. I forget my parents a lot today, I don't know why. Lovey parents, but it's what they do in restaurants. My mom's like, where's our food? And then my dad goes up to the kitchen like, uh, hi, where's our food?

You know, he's seeing her get annoyed because she's like, I'm so hungry. Oh my god, if I don't eat sound. So he's like, excuse me. I need to check on my girlfriend's food. I'm about to propose to. Well, here's the thing that bothered me is that I totally get that.

And I totally understand why he went down there. But he had just asked what time is lunch. So for him to go downstairs and ask again, what time is lunch? To me, seems actually kind of like passive aggressors. He knows it was supposed to be in 30 minutes and he knows he should have just said like, hey, I know lunch is in 30 minutes,

but we're really hungry and he chance we could like get that sooner. But the fact that he was like too afraid to say that and then said was like, what time is lunch again? For some reason it just like bothered me on like a very deep and profound level. Do you know what I'm saying? Do you see why I'm annoyed by it? I mean, yeah, I guess.

I just think he is going down like his girlfriend's man. I don't think it's really that. I think he's I think you're more mad at her, but you don't know because he's the one taking action. I'm not mad at her I'm mad at him because he was like Because he was really passive aggressive about it like acting like he hadn't asked that already like you already got an answer to that She didn't say half an hour did she to him? Originally she just said I don't know, but she said in about half an hour

originally she just said I don't know but she said in about half an hour oh she didn't well maybe the wife is the girl friends like I don't know I just don't like the way Michael Castelano handled the situation and he's trying to be all chill and like everything's cool but he's like secretly high maintenance that's that's the issue well in service there there are guys like that he doesn't come across as a guy like this to me, but there are the people who are like, thank you so much 10% because then or like they talk to the manager, they're the people who are being overly nice, but really they're assholes. But I'm not getting an asshole vibe from how much longer is it going to be? I don't know. I'm getting the asshole vibe from Kevin, but I guess that that's normal.

Like they said, you have to to feel that right yeah Yeah, yeah exactly. We'll see. I mean, I mean Michael can certainly redeem himself He seems as as Georgia guest go. He seems very lovely. I just I did not like how he handled I don't like how he we're handled his lunch request. Yeah, well now it's the Kate trying to poop I don't know if she's trying to poop, but she just went down to change. And now some of them are like, okay, okay, okay. So, it's like, what, it's like the kids want food. Can I tell Kevin?

Can I tell Kevin? There's no big deal. I mean, it's no big deal. He said it wasn't a big deal, then he came down to Tettle Tail. That is not a big deal. Oh, I don't know. Now I'm down here knocking on the door while you might be beeping.

So, I don't know if it's a big deal to you, but I'll do whatever you want, whatever you want It's like fine. Just like get it get it started She's like I just feel like a mom just trying to have two minutes to go the bathroom and the kids are knocking on the door Or being like mom can I come in? Can I come in here with you mom mom mom no no no So then get ready to drop the hook as soon to shot some a drop. I shackle shackle and the anchor drops and Captain Ligos felt like a stick to me. Boo. Yeah. That let me take a one thing that anchor that anchor is not going to jail. That anchor that anchor is it's sticking to the ocean.

That's what's doing. Proud. So now it's time for the guest to sit for lunch and cake comes up like tucking in a shirt and they just start serving. I thought it was going to be a much bigger drama. Well, there is a light drama. They haven't say something like this. There is a drama because they like basically Simone and Courtney like head out to serve lunch and they've got like they're like really happy. They got these big bowls of carrot salad and Simone's got like a platter of sad poach chicken

because I feel like poach chicken is one of the saddest things ever, even if it tastes good. I look at it and I think it's sad. So she just looks like the blah. So she's bringing out this poach chicken. They're like all happy like hiho, hiho. It's off to lunch we go and then they get there and they realize there's no out this post chicken. They're like all happy like hi ho hi ho It's off to lunch we go and then they get there and they realize there's no plates on the table So they have to like do like a double back to get the plates and kids like huh?

Well, there's no plates on the table because usually chefs plate meals But we're doing it family style because we were family We are and Kevin's like, plates on the table. I mean, that's what I want. They haven't even got the one. And she's like, okay, well, why don't you guys go ahead and put that on the side table? You could plates and deal with this crazy person who thinks we're a family. Okay, just do that. And he's like, so we're just going to leave stuff out there. And she's like, well, they had to bring the carousel. It's out. Okay. So, and she's like, well, they had to bring the caratalids out.

Okay. And he's like, okay, come on, let's try to be positive. It's the first time. It's like, I'm being, I'm not negative. I'm just relying the facts, buddy. Ha. Yeah. This is, here's the one saying like, okay, he needs to calm down also.

He needs to have a little chef seat, which he will be taking on the toilet soon enough, because he's like, it's the fissive. This lets me positive, not negative. I'm like, you're the one who's just like, way as kite. This is embarrassing. How embarrassing? What an embarrassing first, first try to think about me. How embarrassing? How embarrassing? I'm like, you're the one who was being negative. Yeah, someone nagging by being negative. Yeah. Like somebody necking you by accusing you of being negative is what I meant to say. It's like, yeah. Well, it's just not fair. I'm on. The good news is that everyone likes the likes the likes the lunch and everyone's like, oh, this is so good.

And then there's like some dad guy on there who's like, this is the best lunch I've had today. Fuck you, dude. Ass passive aggressive ass. I don't think that's possible. I thought he was just making a dad joke like I thought he was making a like Oh, we waited all day for this and like you're great. It was great. I mean it was lunch I love how we're like I had today. We really interpreted so many different things on this episode

Yeah, I see people as inherently shitty and you see people as inherently I was mad at Michael Castelano. And I thought was totally reasonable. So there you go. I guess because I was expecting him to be more of it anyway. Uh, time to go on water toys. What are the things going out? I'd say laugh them. Yeah, I love it. They get off the boat and I can just be quiet for a moment and just sit in this mental bubble bath and mom mom How do you make it all fashion again? It's only second I get a loan god damn it. That's my mother when we did that as kids. She would just scream you hear like slamming on the door kids. She would just scream. You hear it like slamming on the door. Please, please, me alone.

It really is a triggering episode for you. It is. It's a parental trigger episode. So Kevin is making tie dinner tonight. Yeah, it's me get time to rest. Yeah. When he was younger. Also, he's in Thailand. And yeah, go figure. I was like, I have an in Mexico. I also feel like that's what he would lead with. I like it's like, well, I'm going to make Thai food tonight because I worked in a restaurant 15 years ago, Thai restaurant. I'm like, and you're in Thailand and you have Thai ingredients. So you're going to have food.

Yeah, you're in Thailand now. They just call it food. Yeah. You're okay. You can say you're making Thai food because you're in Thailand. So Tanner is like, okay, you're looking lovely as always. Kate's like, thanks, Tanner. Yes, and what? I don't look lovely. She's like, yep, it's my little braked at black dress.

Take it everywhere. He's like, okay, so I don't look handsome with the fog. Yeah, with the fog. Well, it's not that you don't look like handsome. Just like, you ever play the game Frogger and you're trying to get across the road and then a car hits you and then you're like a flat frog. That's kind of what you look like right now. Anyway, thanks for your compliment. Yeah, she doesn't she just completely knows it all together. So then guess what someone's doing? Mondry. Never should have said that. Never should have said it. Uh, so, and then the Decrue is like doing,

the Decrue is just like, on the verge of passing out with all the humidity and they're pulling stuff up and in and up and out. And they're all just, they're changing their shirt every 30 minutes because they're just sweating all the way through it. And it's like 755 PM and Ashton's law and basically no one's eaten yet and Ashton. I think this is where As Astjan feels like all the skill He's like who he has eaten and they're like No one and he's like oh, he's like I'm such a terrible leader. I didn't even tell him to go eat your food I mean what sort of what sort of boasting doesn't tell me to eat him in food tonight my jack-off

I'm gonna be thinking about that. I'll be jacking off in guilt I'm going to be thinking about that. We'd be jacking off in guilt. I'm a monster. So then table settings and turn downs and putting toys up and blah blah blah. So he sends people off to lunch and everybody's fist bumping. He's like, thanks for being such a great crew. They're like, we are a great crew family family crew bomb crew bomb family. Then, then down in the kitchen, I have some food. Yeah, Kevin is, he has like a giant like wagyu beef thing.

And Cori's like, what's that? And he's like, it's wagyu beef. And then the thing is, it's a giant packet. And so there's all this like bloody juice that's accumulated in the bottom. And he goes, I'll give you here my tea if you drink that. And goes ew and captain leaves right there captain he's like that's Cam that's funny right there funny funny

stuff so then Kate's like Kevin's like Kate two minutes he's like oh they're gonna get cold let's go go. Let's go. If I poured him, it's time to go. It's time to go. Thanks, geez. All right, so the ladies like this is in Karada. Yeah, they love the Tom Yum. It's the best Thai food they've ever had.

And then downstairs, while everyone's having the Tom Yum, it's time to get the main ready. And Kevin's like, you know what is strange guys? We have seven guests, but only one mine plate. Can I get six more please and you just know Kate was like internal internal internal Yeah, it's like all I've done the I've done chef math so can we get out there? I mean, God, service is such an afterthought on this boat.

I'm just like, uh, get off my ass. How about that? Yeah, I have a feeling that Kevin, he's very particular and I feel like he is going to be losing it very soon, especially once I start pushing back against him. Passing this way, I destroy it. If Chef, if Chef isn't crazy, then their food food is bad and tonight he proved he can cook very well. So then Ash them is eating with the other with the other deck hands and he's like,

say, what do you think of the other stews? And Tanner's like, hey, some some else cool, but Courtney's quiet and Britt, what's your name? I wrote Bree. It takes me time. Callie free. Yes. I'll send free Allison. Pretty such a great job on below deck. Wow. Makeers.

She played Rocky. She plays all the different accomplished actress. Yeah. So Ali. Yeah. Something about Ali. No. Bree. This girl named Bree.

Brit. We know her name. The new girl with red hair. She's like, I'll just give her a hug. Oh, Bri, this girl named Bri. Brit. We know her name. The new girl with red hair. She's like, I'll just give her a, oh, no, Brian, Brian. Sorry, I only wrote three letters. So for the first few episodes of Blood Deck, I'm always confused. So Brian's like, ah, just give her a couple of drinks. She'll be fine. And he's like, you know what? I want to hook up with Kate. Like, I tend to lean towards older women. Like last woman I was with was 58, you know, one minute we're playing darts and the next she's driving me to work. You're not

only attracted to older people. You're attracted to people who play darts. Her name was Ramona singer. And she couldn't tell a door, but guess what? She apparently is a maven with real estate. That's hot. She just kept saying I'm single, ready to mingle. I didn't know what was going about. She said she's introduced me to a best friend slash daughter. I was like, I don't know who that is. But cool. So Courtney over here is him talking about how he likes K and sick. I'm going to tell her immediately. Yeah. So then, uh, yeah, then upstairs Michael and his girlfriend Samantha are face timing their dog at home Which I feel like I feel like if Kate had seen that she'd be like even though Kate's a dog person I still feel like she'd been like

Face timing a dog really well I think all people are like that until they actually have a dog because you know my ass will do that I'm like that pillar on back have a dog because you know my ass will do that. I'm like, put a pillow on it. I can't pee other texts to me. So they like guess we're going to go to sleep and Michael basically tells Kevin that tomorrow night for the private dinner, Michael is going to propose to Samantha. And so it has to be, it's going to be a really big, special, super awesome, incredibly important dinner. And Kevin's like obviously filet mmon Yone and massive lobsters.

Yeah, okay. And I'll prepare them with my hands, with my very own fingertips. And nothing could go wrong. Oh, stomach ramp, diarrhea, coming through. Oh, god, and here we go with the poop. Yeah, whoo, it was a lot. Well, first actually was okay, because at this point, like he's just like,

eh, something's going on day and day. Doesn't feel raw, but I'm gonna go through it. And then he's like, it's gonna be okay. And then we go over to Courtney who like walks up to Kate and goes, Tana wants a bango. Guess I can't. Tana wants a bango.

I'm sorry, what? Tana wants a bando. I'm sorry, what? Tana wants a bando. That's flattering. Also super creepy. And then Courtney's like, I know. Excuse you, ma'am. It's not up to you to say how rude. Fucker.

I think Tana is the cutest thing ever. I think he's the cutest thing ever. If I were my 20s, I'd have no standards. And we're blind and deaf. But I'm none of those things so he's awful Sorry tell the Flade to keep lid on it, all right So then then the poop really starts.

It really starts in sleeping while we just hear, and they really put in every sound of diarrhea ever. And they did it ever before. Oh, we did it was disgusting. It was really like very authentic fully. It was just like, really, like we were there. It felt like it was like surround sound somehow. I was like, oh wow, this is this is happening.

And he was just basically Kevin's shooting up a storm. He is shooting up a massive storm. And then Ashton is in bed and this is their bathroom. You know, it's like Jesus Christ. And so he comes at me goes, what have you done in there, bro? I don't know Jack. What have you done in there? What have you done in there, bro? It's done, bro. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

What have you done in there? What have you done in there, man? It's good. It's good. Like the toilet. It just turns into the A-Shut. It's good. It's good.

It's good. So Kevin, you know, is Sack. Guys, Sean here. So this cake is a... Kate hits toes on door. Oh, this shows Kate kind of tripping. She's like, oh, okay. So guess what brunch is family style. Yeah. So I guess this is just Kevin's thing. It's gonna be family style all the time, right?

And he's like serving brunch and in the middle of brunch service, he again has to go down to the bathroom. And he's like, again, shitting himself like numb and we just are hearing all these noises and the gosh the producers are so shady because as we're hearing this like very realistic and like intense like sound it then cuts to it cuts to someone like coffee just coming out of a cure just streaming out and then it goes to commercial and then they cut to him poop commercial. And then they cut to him. Pooping again. And then they cut to like stirring around any kind of food product that looks like poop. You know, it's like chocolate crisps. The gas press is flirting out.

And they talk to the studio. And then it goes to like something churning and the kitchen. Like, I mean, they were, they were just like going to town with the visuals. They really were. Oh, God. So Kate tells the captain. It's like, um, Kevin asked for a medical kit. So well, I mean, I don't even know what he needs.

Like, well, medicine, slow it down or speed it up. I'm surprised that no one was like, have we poison the guests? Yeah. What the hell? Yeah, exactly. What is this? Yeah. That's what that was my first thought, but like no one seemed to really care about that.

Also surprising that there was like no pebbed abysmal on the boat. So meanwhile, the guests are going to do a beach picnic. And so Courtney gets a sign to go on the picnic with Tia da. And so she's like, the last thing I want to do is be on a beach right now. I mean, be on a beach waiting on people. I'll be on a beach being served, but like, I don't want to do the serving. So she's like, all annoyed.

I have stepped on methane, but shouts. This is disgusting. She just complains the whole time. And Tann is like, uh, if I got a tan from this pillow, like, then I will, I'm just saying I'm the not have a pillow tan. That's, that's for sure. I feel like I'm just like walking If you ever realize that like sometimes sand it's just like little tiny rocks and like since when do we have to walk on rocks? It's rude this is disgusting. Yeah, she's complaining the whole time Tana's like you know

I don't know if I'd date a girl like that. Oh, just what every every everyone is wondering what you would fucking date who cares Yeah, but she is kind of being Courtney she's being ridiculous. She's going on and on and I can't tell if she's actually spoiled or It's actually her weird sense of humor where she's like these are all like her jokes, you know I could actually see it that this is her way of cracking jokes But I can also see it as being massive and misinterpreted too So Kate is looking for medicine and stuff and then Kevin is just shitting some more and we just and of cracking jokes, but I can also see it as being massive and misinterpreted too. So Kate is looking for medicine and stuff, and then Kevin is just shitting some more.

And now his shits are getting dramatic, because now when he's in the bathroom, he's going, oh, oh, Jesus, Mr. Dolbson. I'm like, I don't know if he is Mr. Dolbson, is he Kevin Dolbson, or is that like an expression in like Australia, like, Jesus, Mr. Dolbson, is that like an expression in like Australia like? Jesus Mr. Dobson like when I was counting on you to know any kind of information like that I expect you to know Ben you know cuz like Bob's your uncle like is that like a Bob's your uncle like Jesus Mr. Dobson you say that when things are tough like oh Jesus Mr. Dobson Well, there's the author James Clayton Dobson and Evangelical Christian author Well, there's the author James Clayton Dobson, Evangelical Christian author,

and there's Jesus in the classroom, and to your Mr. Jesus, a 1986 child abuse song. Those are the top searches for Jesus, Mr. Dobson. So I'm guessing he's a Mr. Dobson. I'm looking up, there is a Kevin Dobson, oh yeah, his name is Kevin Dobson, so he's referring to himself, okay. Jesus, Mr. Dobson.

Yeah, Mr. Resil. Yeah, also sort of sounds like a movie. That might be like a British movie. That'd be really sad. James is Mr. Dolan. That's sending a blabbing. Yeah. He's like a working class teacher who is like,

decided that he wants to fly from London to leads in a balloon. You know? After his wife dies, there's no little boy. Their balloon is tied to a house. Jesus, Mr. Dolby said you can't do that, you got students. Mr. Dolby, sing, come back here! Brenda Blethen, get out of my Mr. Dope Sid movie, okay? But then in the end, when Brenda Blethan is looking out her window and saying Mr. Dope

Singh in his balloon going from London to Leeds, she looks up and she smiles and she goes, Jesus Mr. Dope Singh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and the for listening, we'll be back tomorrow to talk Real Housewives of Orange County. And then of course, Dallas, our Dallas recap will not be up until Saturday because we are recapping it in Atlanta and then after that, a classic Real Housewives of New York to recap. It's gonna be so fun because we're still available. Go to WontrapRapins.com.

Buy some merch, have a great time, and we'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye everyone. Bye. Bye. yourself by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.