Watch What Crappens - BelowDeck: You're No Bosun, No Bosun of Mine!

Episode Date: October 6, 2017

There's a new bosun on "Below Deck," and no one likes him. But he's got to be better than Matt whose drunken date with Bri continues the epic trend of horrific "Below Deck" dates. As Kate would say, "ha." See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what happens would like to think it's premium sponsors! Kelly Grant, The Grunt Master! Cindy Berges-Gasson, what an amazing person!

Just saying, okay! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Jason Andrews, the King of the Upside Down Twitter Pick, and Kristi D'Awardy, the OG Prem-Supreme. Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? What crap is? What crap is? to talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com

slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media go to watchacrapans.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey, welcome to watch what crap ends. The podcast about all that crap on bravo we love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from bcyblog.com and the banter blender podcast. And joining me is the professional chef non-drinker drinker that is runny carrom from trash talk tv.com and Rose Frick's bachelor podcast. Hello runny you discerning yacht guests

Needs more ice cream I'm gonna walk around that saying saying that the rest of the week needs more ice cream all right It's been out of week needs more ice cream all right now if I'll say more ice cream in case you couldn't tell we're here to talk about some below deck we are posting this episode on a different day of the week because a gem of housewives that is pushing poor below deck to Fridays so thanks for bearing with us for waiting until Friday to listen to our recap it's gonna be our new day for posting our blue blow deck things, but we're the wait all the time, right? So good, this show.

So good. So good. How's that tuna sandwich going? It is done. I am professional. How dare you, sir. Ron, he was having a tuna sandwich. I just put him on blast.

I expose his secrets to everyone. I needed some tuna in my life. You know, some. I just put him on blast. I exposed his secret to everyone. I needed some tuna in my life, you know. Some days you just need a tuna and some days you don't. And today I did! Well I am jealous because before this started I was like I would like to have make myself some tuna and I didn't. So if anything I'm speaking from a place of jealousy. Chicken to the sea. I love Simtuna. Mm-hmm. You know, Inagrin has a great tuna salad recipe and you put it on top of some hummus and it is delicious. You know what I just found in the yummy?

Yeah. It's not a grocery store, it's a delivery service because God forbid I walk around. Herissa, which, herissa is a Moroccan salsa kind of. It's like, it's a chili paste. That I love. And I thought I was ordering that, but it's a spice.

It's like a Horissa spicy. And now I'm putting it in everything. It is delicious. So I just had some Horissa tuna. So suck that on a garden, okay? Okay. This is a Ronnie God and my, Ronnie God and my favorite,

my favorite brand of Hor hers is actually called herissa home A it's really great. I like a lot Hameh Just let it sink in herissa home. Hey. Oh Too bad Herissa to me My tuna for sandwiches Beating like this.

God damn it. Alright, we are getting into below dick now. Shall we be? Yes, yes. Below dick. Okay. Below dick. Before we even have to start, I have to think this show for the best of GIF I've had of

the year. And I just make these gifts. I know I talk about them and don't post them not much, but I make them for my texting. I really like to send people like Cameron gifts. Like I do not twerk for whatever. So this week I got the one of Kate where she's just standing in the kitchen, drying a cup, and she just looks so annoyed

to have to be listening to anybody. And that's it. It's just Kate, like see kind of looks up for a second like years. Stupid. And then continues to cry. I will be using that for the rest of my life. I would like to see that. Will you send that gift to me? Cause I've got to send it to you right now. I want to see it. Here live on the podcast, I'm going to receive a gift from Ronnie. So oh my God, guys. What's wrong? No, I'm just saying, can you believe it right now?

Right now. Right now. The excitement of live pre-recorded television. So good. Okay, look at your text. It just went through. Okay, there's a ding. Okay, it's coming through. I think it was a ding and alive. It was K trying things. Technically, it's a boomerang. No technically it's a palindrome style gift and boomerang can pay palindrome for stealing their thing and calling it a boomerang. Okay. Dumb kits go one direction, smart kits, go both direction markets go everywhere. They go everything. I have every end of that needs to be everything. Yes, do you think Cameron. It makes just as much sense with any other sentence as it does with the real one. So stupid. So below deck. Wow, what a show. Now, you know, there've been some issues with Chris, whoa. But I love that Chris posted his butt last week. He's like, if

you're going to show everything, why not show the whole thing? And then he showed his whole pet. I was like, that's really nice. If you walked into the room with just that bear ass, you'd get a lot more credit in the world great exactly and didn't you tweet at him like let's see the front and he was like do the many more photos of my Twitter I'm like that's not what we asked for we want to see I'm not scrolling through your Twitter you fucking loser put us some dick pics Yeah turn around and show us the goods but are better shut up. You're hot. Okay. I like your smooth little bit Now it did hurt it today when you gaved open your mouth

and you were missing teeth. Like, I don't know. I think I could possibly be missing teeth soon if I don't get them fixed. So I'm not judging, but at least put a spacer in there or something, or maybe a tick tap, put something in there. I'm trying to concentrate on your ass, Chris. I think that his sex appeal went down

when he was moping around the boat with his hangover and then put on some some strange hat And he's like sick hat and then took a selfie I was like, I don't know. The other thing I'll be saying all week sick hat. Yeah Malorie so then Matt is in the kitchen He's like breathe breathe there and he's like obsessed with breathe right now So he's no way wait. I have to stop this entire podcast. Oh, man, I cannot believe you didn't open this.

Am I echoing? I hear an echo. I have to stop because you didn't announce the proper beginning of this episode. And I'm not talking about the I'm talking about the first shot is 8 a.m. And it's Bruno snipping his jeans. And why didn't see that? I got beer all over my jeans yesterday and then it cuts away. And the captain making an egg shake.

He's like, I will clean my jeans but I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm the beer. This beer makes me like tired. This beer is tired. Beer is tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I do work. Beer's tired. I do work. I don't

want it to work for beer. I'm tired for beer. So, Stephanie, yeah, sorry about that. So, he's like, hey, I'm just going to keep using Adam voice because the chef doesn't talk enough to deserve his voice. So, I'll just keep it with Adam. He's like, hey, what do you like for breakfast? And she's like, um, I don't know. Eggs. Why does brief talk like what does breeze accent exactly? These the accent of dull. I don't know. Eggs.

And so then it's like, so you want to go on a boat ride? You know, I'm going to go on a boat ride. She's like, with who? He's like, me, remember, you said you'd go on a date with me. So I can finish on my eggs, like Malia did. She doesn't even care. She's like eggs. At least Malia was getting something.

Breeze just like a hoe for free, you know? I'm excited for Breeze, bitch flower to bloom, much like, what's my name, Sienna? Sierra, last season on Blow Deck. Remember, she's like, hi, I'm sweet and I'm happy. And then Kyle took her on a date and she was like, I don't wanna go on this boat,

and I'm gonna talk to my boyfriend and you can like, crister out the rest of the season. Yes, like Bits from Hell, suddenly. Also, Briana's not being a hoe. I don't know why I said she's being a hoe for free. She hasn't even been a hoe. I'm just saying, like, I'm a flirt for free, let's say.

Malia at least got some sides. But she's then the chef. This is another parallel with the Mediterranean because this is the exact same plot, right? It's like the hottest, youngest girl, everybody wants to bone blah, blah, blah. And they're both flirting with her. He's trying to win it with food.

And then the other one comes in that they don't want to have sex with and they're immediately rude to her. Jen comes in and she's like look a plate. Whatever. And he goes you want to put that in the dishwasher Jen great. Go on. Do we go on Jen? She's like okay, do you ready? That's the that's the trash compactor.

Okay, well, now it's broken. Yeah, to be fair, I mean, it is Jen. Okay, up in the dishwasher, you just threw it out the window. This won't fit in the dishwasher, that's the toaster, Jen. I can just get out on trying to get some egg dick. Please get out. Yeah, so meanwhile, like over in the living room Captain Lee and I think it's Captain Lee and Nico they're sort of like they're

doing their own mystery science theater 3000 the deck crew there's looking at the window with the crew and captain is like well look at this guy right here God damn stupid decking he's dragged to pedestal and they're gonna ring to the Gan and wash it again it's not only one portion of it there and do it all ranked. God damn, Decker. I'm loving how he's just relaxing. He's all the way tilted back drinking his egg yolk shake that he's made himself. And he's like, this is what gets me.

Outside Chris is like, so baker, what do you think? Is the captain like blowing smoke up our ass about rearranging her as he's serious and she's like, uh, what do you think? Like great conversation. Let me out a piece of this. Yeah, exactly. And then Chris goes, we'll have been fired before, but who's kind of fun? It's a stupid crest. So good. So then we go to, I don't know, maybe the build or somewhere for the preference sheet meeting. And we meet, we learn that the primary guests are Bradley and Summer Smith.

And Bradley, he owns like some sort of something or another real estate firm, but he's also a trained chef. And they want to have a party that's a casino themed, they want all the toys, and by the way, no drinking. I know everyone's horrified. Yeah. By the way, it's the CEO of Smith Luxury Homes. Nothing says luxury, like Smith. So yeah, it's a train gourmet chef, but I like that it's like,

we don't know where. Yeah. Just trained. So Kate's cake is, uh-oh. Uh-oh. Ha. Well, they need to see, the booze is a critical part of these charters, I imagine, because there's

so many things going wrong. They always say, well, we couldn't get the boat out of the port, so we might as well just give them as much booze as possible. So if they can't even get the booze, well. They're fucked. And this is another episode of Who the Fuck Are You, Kate Chastain?

Like, where did you become this person? She's like, hi, good morning. And she's walking around with a beer in big giant sunglasses. Who are you? And then later, she's like, fuck at me, eating an ice cream sandwich just for fun. Like, whoa, whoa.

That's delicious. I know, but it's Kate. Yeah. Kate? Walking around drinking on the job, even though there's no guest yet, and eating an ice cream sandwich. I don't know what has happened to Kate. Well, it's hard for people to accept that I'm in a good mood.

So what I do is I actually eat something from good humor. It's my second good humor joke this week, by the way. And there will be many more to come, okay? His Kate would say. Ha! So Breeze, I allowed an excursion with Baa. I was like, yeah, okay, fine. But until then, work, work, work, work, work, work, work.

Okay, Jen, let's get these liquor and wines and beers organized. Hurry, because Brianna's going on a date. She's like, do I get extra long break then? Or do I have to be sexually promiscuous for that? Because I can do that. Yeah, she's getting so jealous that we get the afternoon off. Yeah. In case like, well, Jen, sometimes you, you need time to speak to your kid and sometimes

you don't come back for like 20 minutes and but Jen's like, yeah, but it's like, okay, well, next time, when you want to do something special, you get to do something special, okay? Jen's like, I don't want it. I guess like, oh, fine, just walks away. Yeah, I've got a beer and sunglasses and an ice cream sandwich. I don't need this. So in the kitchen, Kate, Chef, and Nico, Chugs and chefs like, before the season,

I was going through things with my girlfriend who was 10 years old at the time. They showed a picture of it's like, oh my God. How old do you think he is? I always think people who look like bears, like the bigger guys with beards and stuff, I just always assume they're at least 30. I feel like he's like a 34.

A 34, 30, a 33, a 34. He could be a 30. I don't know, it's hard to tell. He may be a 29. I think he's 34. I'm gonna say 34. Well, he was like, we broke up because we weren't meshing. I was like, maybe find someone who's not 10.

Yeah. And he's like, I haven't been on a first meshing. I was like, maybe find someone who's not 10. Yeah. And he's like, I haven't been on a first date in a long time, so I had a few beers and he's like, oh, he's our breakfast master. He is pouring that booze and he's like, don't drink after drink, after drink. And then he's like, oh, buddy, you're kind of getting drunk. You better sober up.

He's like, OK, God, it takes two water bottles. I just pouring them into his mouth. You know, what are, does not sober you up people? All of us is make the hangover easier. You're fucked, you're drunk. Yeah, he drunk. So Bree's got a flower in her hair. And she's like, Nika and I are attracted to each other,

but he has a girlfriend, so excursion. Like, God. You are not getting masked on dates for that personality girl. Yeah, seriously. You are very cute though. And I love your constant bitch face. Yes, exactly. It's almost a, it's almost a perfect stand-in for personality. So then, so they go on there, I'm buying it. Yeah. So they go, they go on their, their boat date and they're like having cocktails and Jen's doing all the work. I'm like Cinderella. I you know, I may be sexually frustrated. Maybe that's a guess. Yes, I am. I've mastered every room of this yacht already. Yeah, I'm no kidding. And what does I have to do with Cinderella?

She's like just jumps from thing to thing. I think Cinderella was Cinderella sexually frustrated. Probably. was centerola sexually frustrated uh probably if I don't understand why she wouldn't be excuse me that story is about love okay it's not about just fucking radios so I would like to make a general comment about below deck and it's a comment that's probably been like one or two seasons overdue maybe even three I really like their um their generic music I'd. Their music is very different from all the music on all the other Bravo shows. It's kind of like fake DJ mustard music. It's got like a hip hop bent to it.

And I appreciate that. And I just want the post production people who work on this show and I'm blow-duck mad to know that I notice and I Appreciate it. Thank you for not using another Alan Lazar thing from the house. Glad no fans Alan the Zarb, but we just want you to get a fresh paycheck every time they still you shit Yeah, no, we love the Alan Lazar music, but that has a home and the house wise and I'm glad that like below deck Changes it up. It's not that crap from laser London. Well, this one's like, I'll save the yacht, God save the yacht.

I'll save the yacht. Oh my God. Girls, girls, girls, girls, I'm a girl. I'm a yacht, on an ocean, and I'm in the ocean, but guess what I like to, what are? That's like, that's my beautiful London. I know, it's like the non-sequitur of these songs, But guess what I like to water I know it's like the non-sequitur of these songs, but this one you're right. It's like Someone's mopping

Someone's cleaning a toilet. It's like whoa party Yeah, so the chef is packing for Breonna and he's like, Breonna needs a guy who's thoughtful and romantic. We can pack a picnic. I'm getting some dried cranberries. She's gonna love this, so me! Oh, it was the most. He was like, I listen. I know people say I often play it safe for my food,

but I want you to know I'm a little crazy, which is why instead of dried cranberries, I got you... Carasins! Who said I couldn't live life on the edge? And she's just got this face like, oh god, like she's already hating it. So they get to the beach and it's a nude beach. And he's like, whoa, had no idea, huh? No idea.

So the date is going pretty well so far. Even Brea is saying, I thought it's nice. He brought food. He arranged a boat. It's going nicely. You have everything. I guess you are a chef while she's eating a pre-package of dry cranberry. So there's like someone who made like a little like some sort of thing in the sand like a sandcastle sort of thing and he he makes a joke about how it's like it's a the Brianna statue or represents our relationships like ah sonia will we're and he's like you know what I want I just want to like travel the world with you let's just like travel the world to be crazy and And she's like, ah, you're going a little fast. Matt, we just find minivan or an air stream and like travel the world.

So like, uh, you move fast. And he goes, how so? She says, verbally. He's like, I thought I'm pretty lethargic actually. Oh, oh, I mean, verbally, yes. He's like, I'm already reclining and taking my shirt off. So, yeah, he does. He's like, can I take my shirt off? I want to be naked like them. They're so unrestricted. Had they so naked? Yeah.

You know, if I can be naked, because it's a nude beach, you could be naked too. And she's like, uh, yeah, I guess I could. And he's just like pouring one, one jack down, and he'll zap another. Or just like whiskey, whiskey, and he just and he said she just she's just like totally Disinterested now and he's just saying cliche stuff like hey Jerry think about how much we haven't come in whoa, it's crazy Hey have you have you guys even had a discussion ever like you have what do you have in common you both have jobs like yeah How about you don't talk about you don't talk about her okay?

have jobs. Like, yeah, how about you? Don't talk at her. Okay, although in his events, we haven't really heard much from her. There's nothing much that he can really do at that point. You know, I feel like that's a good couple. Like people that you mute, you have the same amount of non-interest in both of them. You know, it's like just get married, go to Waqaino for your anniversary, and just leave the rest of the rest of us the fuck alone, okay? Yeah, I felt bad for her though because you know going on a date that requires hopping on a boat to get to some sort of beach on some sort of island That's the worst idea for a first day because you're trapped You know, that's why you do things like go to go to get drinks because if it's not working you come up an excuse and you're out of there

But if you're on an island your your libou is stuck on an island with this guy, that's awesome. Yeah, so you could give your fucking homemade picnic of crazins. I mean, so stupid. She's like, well, he's obviously drunk. And the chef, they get on the boat. And you think, all right, I thought, and he was feeling bad about it, because he goes,

oh, god, this wasn't good. Horrible date. She goes, oh, yeah, wasn't a good date. No, you didn't have fun. And he's like, you're an asshole. Yeah, he starts flashing out of her because he's feeling bad. It wasn't as bad as obviously what's his face.

And it's pretty bad. But it was still like, he's like, you're an asshole. But she was like, mm-hmm, just get me back to the yacht. Please, thank you. Don't want to die right now. Don't want to die in camera. He's like, you know, I think that you really could fall in love with me and we could like live in a hut or something like that.

And she's like, uh-huh. And then following when they were on the boat on the tender heading back to the yacht, he was like, oh, by the way, I forgot to ask, do you like me? She's like, no. Now I love how she always answers like human resources, because it's the second time she's done that.

She's like, no, currently I see nothing romantic or current about the process of our relationship right now. But thanks for the crazy. Here's a form you can sign out saying that you consent to me leaving this date. Thank you. Yeah, pretty much. So Baker and Bruno, this is like a tiny scene, but she's like, Baker's like, Hey, you want to go to the beach? And he's like, I see

no difference and bitch and the bitch. She's like, Oh my God, the hilarious. He's like, I don't know a difference between bitch and biH. but thinking about it makes me tired. I'm tired. That is hilarious! Well, dude. What is this difference between tired being like I'm tired or tired as in like when a car has tires? Batch.

Batch. You told me a batch. No, I called you a bitch. Beats? Died. So then, so then meanwhile, yeah, just okay. Think you told me a bad night. God you bitch So then So then meanwhile yeah, okay, okay, which one do you let's let's recreate it? Which one do you want to be? I'll be Jen. Okay, okay Smell this I can't smell I can't smell I can't smell smell smell smell I can't smell

I can't smell I can't smell I still can't smell I Haven't smelled this in 10 years. I don't care. I can't smell can smell good work Good work now so they returned to the boat and this chef's like it was great I'm tripping sand all over the place and Bruno's like oh my god. He's way stay How is he not tired by now? I Am tired just watching our way steady is and he's like yeah, I'm gonna sing to this broom You know who I am Old blue eyes. Hey trust me. I will T Rex the shit out of her crazy laugh. What is he talking about?

What does T Rex the shit out of her mean? I literally have no idea. It's some straight. Is that a That singer of fuck you What's that singer remember where you talk about? Yes, Sealo and you were We were talking about his two red stars. And you You said something like, well, that turned dark the Sealo thing because he got accused of all this bad stuff And I was like, well, you know, if you start judging musical stars based on their behavior and you're like, yeah, but right So pretty big one That's exactly what it's like. Oh, it's like yeah, but that's what it made me think of because T-Rex's shit out of her made me think of the T-Rex arms on C-Lo

What's this a rape joke? Because that's my question. I don't think so I think he was just announcing his intent to stomp really loudly outside of Brianna's room to make her water shake Yeah, he's like I'm really good to scare Louis, dude. Brianna would be like the worst in Jurassic Park. Like the T-Racks would come right up to her car and she flashed this flashlight and it's I and she'd be like, huh. She'd be like, what? She's like, he left us.

Okay, he left us. And me goes like, I don't think it went that good if he's that drunk. So Bruno and Bri in the mess. He's like, so what happened? And now he's eating like gogurt. I'm obsessed with what? I'm obsessed with Bri knows food. He's always eating something.

He's always people who are in shape are always snacking on things here and there because their body is burning like million calories. Yeah, he's got so many healthy things. I like when he's like eating a salad and looking down into a deep protein shake thing at the same time. He's like, I'm tired. Do you ever notice how when you like swirl a protein shake with your spoon? it's like a whirlpool and maybe David Jones locker at the bottom of my protein shake. I don't know too much to think about, I'm tired. I always get confused between yogurt and yogurt.

Which is the other one? Yogurt. I'm tired, so I'm making me explain. So one yogurt says hi to you like yo, and the other one leaves you and says like go. So the chef is just depressed the hell the next day. Well no, I just don't know. That didn't mean to be like a, a city. It wasn't a funny joke.

It wasn't a funny joke. It was like a very gross joke about the differences between yogurt and gogert. Okay, I accepted. I accepted. I was accepted. I welcome it. I understand it, you know, I should've known you can only push a goger joke so far. And I pushed it too hard. I pushed the goger too hard before it becomes a no got.

Okay, no go. No go great. So, breathe. I was up even judging it. I was just scrolling time to see how much we have left of this show because I take out. Let's just move. Let's just move forward to the fact that the next day all of a sudden a new cast number arrives and it's a new bow son and his name is EJ. Oh gosh. EJ of something about Mary Cumbangs you know there's we've seen this on many many Braavush says that people are still like look Cumbangs and they're like sticking straight up and then he's doing that really over eager I think resides are propping out when he smiles he shakes her like when he says hi he shakes your hand really hard and then nods with a big smile like can you hear it.

It's called being evil. That's what it's called because you can tell this guy is pure evil. I'm very excited for it. He does have bitch bitch eyes i loved his meeting with baker though because she's the first one he sees coming down the dot well first i thought someone's tap dancing finally this boat is becoming anything goes and i love it because he just here had a lapone came out of a doorway yeah it's like where and the money was forty seconds straight up he's You know, it's like we're in the money. Well, it's 42nd Street. Please, please. And all the angles. It's like, Lympha stocking. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Anything goes.

But it's just his suitcase rolling down the dock. But I was like, oh, my god, it sounded like tap dancing. I'm going to love him. No. And he's like, hey, there, neighbor. And he's like, hey, I'm the new boasting. She's like, you new crew, are you? I'm Baker. And he's like, I'm boasting. She's like, no, what's your name? What's your baker?

Busted God damn it. Who is this asshole? She's D. Cormail Baker So so EJ walks up to the the finds casually and I kind of like, hey, what are uh, EJ walks up to the, the, the finds casually and, uh, I got like, Hey, what are they, our old buddy? You know, I, I am all the way up to Vancouver and you don't even goddamn show up from me. Yeah. Hey, EJ, this crew is extremely green. And EJ is like, that's not good. Yeah.

Do you like my bangs? What do you think of my bangs? And the captain's like, Nico isn't ready for boasting yet, all right? So he'll stay lead backhand and that's not good. Do you like my bangs? What do you think of my bangs? And the captain's like, Nico wouldn't ready for bossin' you, and all right? So he'll stay the lead back hand, and that's it. Yeah, just Nico pissed. Yeah, well, I mean, you know,

I feel like that's a totally fine decision. I mean, I understand why Nico is annoyed. I would be pissed off of our Nico, but, you know, realistically, although I guess Nico did tell us he had been yawning for like seven years, so Nico does definitely have experience, but you know, hey I trust Captain Lee, if he says Nico isn't there, yeah, he's just not there. Yeah, that's okay.

That's okay. Well, it is also there. You can get there Nico. It is also kind of unfair to put like people who have never done this job before and then be like, you didn't train him right. Yeah. It's also unfair to like not warn Nico. I think that, like if Captain Lee said, listen, listen Nico, unfair to not warn Nico. I think that, if Captain Lee said listen,

listen Nico, I like you a lot. You're a good kid. You're doing great work. You're just not there yet. So I'm bringing on this crazy guy, okay? Like that actually would have been better, but like for Nico to find out like that, not Nico, not Nico.

Come on, you're on the path of boasting, but right now, no son. Yeah. Pat, pat, pat on the head and walk off and do some shaming and uh and he's like listen here EJ your job is to get him up to speeder there out. He's like well one of them already knows how to bake so that's good. She won't tell me your name but she apparently is the baker for this yacht. That's her name. Which one? Baker or yacht? Yeah. Which one Baker or yacht? So, um,

Michal, Michal, Captain, Michal, Michal, Captain, Captain, Michal, Michal, Michal, Captain. Michal comes up and he meets E.J. And Michal is not happy. He is really bristling. He is, he is, he is a bit salty the rest of this episode. Um, but also, awkward, an awkward moment is in the kitchen because Breewoxin and she's like so is everything okay. I don't know maybe she doesn't say everything okay now but Matt's being quiet. He's being really quiet and then we learn well he's hungover

but we also learn that oh by the way the reason why his relationship didn't work out is because he parted too hard. So yeah basically what we're here, which he hasn't said is he's so sad because he's an alcoholic and he quit drinking and he said it to beginning of this season. I am trying not to drink anymore. I've decided to like give it a chill. Let's try to forget it. And now he's falling right back into it and it sucks. It's not just like being drunk once.

It's like I'm throwing my whole fucking life away because I act like a jackass because I'm too drunk. And you know what? Hey, I'm there every at least once a week. I'm with you. You know, keep trying. Keep trying to quit until you just decide to quit, quit, okay? I'll see you on the other side, brother. So meanwhile, the arrival of EJ is causing shock waves throughout the exterior crew. Chris can't even handle it. He's like, I enter the one hour power. And that's God. And Tequila. My tequila is my God. I don't know who my boss is. This boat is crazy. What a crazy thing. A chain of command. I don't get it. He would not even listen to God. God would start burning a bush right in front of him and be like, give me your first son and he'd be like, well, I'm tired. I'm exhausted. You're an idiot. You take a selfie with a burning bush and walk away Meanwhile Bruno and Baker are really confused, but you know, Bruno's like who's my boss now? Who I listen to this?

Oh so hard so hard. I'm tired tired Bruno's like, can I ask you English question? What is this cool beam? What is it because he's just like, hi, I'm EJ cool beams, cool beams. Hey, not my bad steak hard steak hard not staring at me. I cool beams. It's like sweeping through the whole place. And also we forgot to say that the captain's like, all right, Nico, hey, not both in both not Nico. I needed to make sure that EJ has a room here so however you got to do that all right yeah they decided to just make Chris sleep in the mess hall yeah like yeah yeah so uh little beans

go beans so the guests come on board and again now they're a drink and Kate is just sitting there fotsing with something in the kitchen She's like I have a very bad feeling about this charter Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bella-S. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud. From the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown, alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.

She goes, oh, I don't spend much time with the crewmass, so I don't really care, but luckily there's no HR on the yacht who would be in big trouble. I'm still digesting that ice cream sandwich. And I'm going to go back to concentrate on that. Okay. So we got the yacht tour and this this time around we got to see the fancy toilet, which was like, it like closes itself, but in this very, in this way, where it's like a parallelogram to send down onto the toilet with an electronic arm is very exciting. And then Brad, who is the primary, he starts talking to Matt in the kitchen. And he's like, yeah, we're all foodies.

We travel a lot. And foods are great experience. Food is experience for us. We're foodies, and we have refined power. We like food. We're interested in food. So you know Matt's, I'm like, great. I'm going to make you a wedge salad.

Great. He practically did. Yeah. I mean, he's like yeah, but foodies You know what there's more to food than architectural bull poop. Yeah Okay, thanks. Thanks Brad Brad is a fucking nightmare for the beginning Yeah, he is but to be fair mad hasn't really like You know, it's bad has Matt hasn't really like You know it's

Matt has not had anyone really like Shout not challenge him but like make him raise the bar with his cooking, you know It's like every week is like Caesar salad Chicken like a rad rad challenges him in the lamest ways. Yeah, sure They get the they get a chicken salad Which is probably the lamest thing you can give somebody for less right after he told you he's a fucking foodie, you know. Yeah. And so it comes to the table and Brad has this like nasty look on his face, but then he's like, it's good. The corn's fresh. The chicken is juicy and his friend, by the way,

this is a double couple date. And the other couple is having an anniversary. And you could tell these are their asshole friends that they're always stuck with Brad complaining, even if they're in an apple v's, you know, he's their asshole friends that they're always stuck with Brad complaining, even if they're in an Apple Vs, you know? He's always complaining and they're just always terrified whenever anybody from service comes over because his friend is like, just chicken is, I think, sous vide, it's delicious. Like he's just coming up with any old top chef reference

he can just to impress his friend. So now the boat's leaving dock. The stern is like that typical dock and undocking drama. It's like the stern lines are not all clear, they're not all clear, they're all with our clear. Oh, we got out and Nico's like, Jesus Christ, right. So Nico's like, he's all pissy. Chris is, he's pissy too.

He's like, oh, this guy, EJ, what is it even stand for? Jack Lid and juice bag, yeah juice bag yeah bro yeah that's a lot that's that's a really that's a that's a that would be a lot more letters yeah and EJ's like hey Nico Nico's just rev living in the back cool beans Nico cool beans you're doing a shitty job Nico but I'm gonna be cool with you for a second year because I'm new hey bye I just keeps locking off buttering fat fucking idiot I got a report to that fucking idiot He's doing captain Lee to that bowson and I love the rope thing though cuz Bruno's like I'm good and Baker's like I'm good Chris is like sick hat

I'm Chris Skips fucking everything up so Kate's making virgin cocktails mocktails and she's even. She's like, I have a virgin cocktail for you. It's called water healthy. You're welcome. You know, it would be great. A lamb virgin calada. Shut up. So the chef and breeze so she comes back in and he's still like mortified. You know, he's like, oh my god, my mother's going to see that. And he's like, oh my God, my mother's gonna see that. And she's like, so how are we feeling about that excursion? I love that Bre just keeps making her soul say excursion. And this one's in half a quote mark. I'm sick of it.

Like, are you quiet because of the excursion? And he's like, no. Well, I was worried you were feeling some kind of way. And he's like, I'm just exhausted. Don't worry about me. I've just realized I've destroyed my life. And here I am chasing after a girl with no personality who walks around with ukulele sometimes.

Oh my God. And then they're playing the like depressed alcoholic clown music. It's like, to cut cherry tomatoes That's every line 90% of his lines for the rest. Yeah, come on Matt. Oh Matt Meanwhile outside EJ. He's still trying to like smile and be like I'm the new guy. I'm like the fun boss I'm like your stepmom, right? But like you can tell he's like holy shit who are these idiots? He's like don't put your foot on it. don't, don't, don't touch it. I'm like, what have these guys been learning for four weeks?

What is going on here? Why are you making bicycle movements with your legs? It's about Bruno. Oh, no, no. No, no. So tired, I never get any play. Bruno, why are you talking at your ear? Sounds like, no, no, no, we're not here to play charades Bruno. These are hand symbols of the anchor. Um the captain comes in to the kitchen and

sees Brianna and the captain's like in such a good mood the season two which is weird to me. Like seeing him walk around with shakes and making his own things in the kitchen it's weird I don't like it. And he's like, hey kid, how's the new guy and breathe boring. No, she said he's No, he has to have the guests are and she's like boring. Oh, I thought she's the new guy. No, the the guests It recalls the guest boring and by the way when Bree calls you boring, that's a problem Any goat the captain goes huh That's a answer like great. So St. Martin water toys, the saddest yeehaw I've ever heard. And then I love their friend, the guest friend.

She just gigglesed at everything. Every time they cut to her, she's like, so they're getting ready for dinner and the captain is like, so, chef, what's for tonight? And he's like scallops with risotto. So Brianna and Nico, do you want it? Do you know where I am right now? Yeah. Nico's complaining to Brianna about the both about not being brosum. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Because I was like, am I in the right place? No, you are. I was totally following. I was just like instantly put to sleep by Matt's scallops with Brussels Pro video. That's all I know. Yeah, it's just like an instant like narcolepsy Oh, he's a quality whipped out that she can salad. Yeah

It's hard to go up from there guys. We're hard to go down from there. So Brianna's like, why is he up above you? I just don't get it. You want me to play the ukulele? He's like, no, not ukulele, not your siren song with the ukulele. So then we get the Chris butt shot. Yeah, more of Chris's ass. So always welcome. Always welcome. It's a good butt. It is actually a really good butt. So then Kate, uh, Kate's like, anyone want to jump on the master? Jen and Jen's like, how want to jump on the master? Jen? And Jen's like, how do I have such horrible luck? Like, you just got the chance to jump on a master.

You're really being negative, Jen. Yeah, exactly. Also, it's your job. So the guests are like, they're getting hungry. And like, one lady, she's like, I can't wait for my steak. Surely it will be cooked perfectly. I am so sorry. Listen to that.

Back on the door. Hold on to your dog, Walker. You know, now might be a really good time to interrupt this podcast to say that it's brought to you by our super premium sponsor, Kelly Grant, the Grandmaster. Yeah! Back to the show. Back to the show.

So anyway, the guests are waiting for their food and Here comes some scallops and brosus sprouts risotto. I've never heard of brosus sprouts risotto by the way I'm not gonna shade it, but I've just never heard of it seems a little strange. Yeah I would like to say I think you're getting to Kate's ass day. I love this voice This is Kate's nice voice when she's like pretending to be nice. She's like, is someone celebrating? Congratulations. It's so funny that her face stays the same. Celebrating. I do. I love when she raises that voice.

Okay. Is someone celebrating without alcohol right now? On a TV show? On a TV show? This is you know alcohol is part of it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, And she's just looking at him because he's so depressed. Yeah. And she just keeps looking. And I'm like, um, dry, dry, dry. Just like, I, um, she's like, I, I really hate when someone's already in those spirits because that means I can't break them any further. What gets a horse if it's already broken? I was really looking forward to breaking him today, but I guess he broke himself.

A whisper can't whisper to a broken horse, okay? This is basically like having Robert Redford write at your disposal and not even using him. The only thing sadder than a Caesar salad is a sad chef making a Caesar salad. Um, so now the people are whipping out their criticisms. The wife is like, I never would have tried Brussels and risotto, which is the wife has been, okay? And then Brad's like, this risotto is not cooked enough. And the wife is like, yeah, the steak is more medium well. Um, I have no problem with them saying any of that stuff.

I don't think they were being overly demanding or ridiculous. I think that Master Rook had asshole face and the wife especially had dick face. I would have asshole face too. I would have full asshole face if I paid several thousand dollars and got like an average steak and like a scallop and risotto that tasted bad. I would have asshole face and you know what? This is a guy who wanted to do an eggplant parmesan with tequila. Okay.

So I question his taste level, honestly. I do. I do. I think they're mad because I'm a waiter. You know, I'm a waiter. So like when people are rude to the waiter, I do not. I don't care what the fuck is happening. You better be nice.

You only have me standing between your stupid ass and the crazy and the crazy Moroccan in the kitchen. You want me to unleash his ass at you because I'll do it. No one was there because she's like, everything all right. And she's like, way, every medium, presoed over done. She's like, I'll bring you something else and Brad goes,

nope. Yeah. Well, you as well, you guys are lovely and any feedback is appreciated. And then they just don't even look at her and they ignore her. Well, Brad Brad classy Brad is sitting there smacking is fucking food like a peon well i mean i do agree they should send their food back at that point but uh... i don't think that they were inherently rude to kate

that you know she asked how everything was they told her they could have been maybe a little nicer bounding they were really rude uh... look up i don't like people like that well well we didn't, we didn't see the ladies face about her steak. They just zoomed in on her steak. We didn't see her face. Oh, she had horrible angry man face, okay? I saw it. Well, I would be pissed off, too.

I hate it. Here, listen. If you're okay, look, let me make it clear. I don't think that they should just not complain and just eat whatever food they're getting. I'm not saying they don't have a right to not like it. I'm saying their actual behavior to the waiter was country like they should Mac like that. I think that you are I think that you are projecting Your

Wader onto it. I'm sorry. I'm meeting you halfway. I mean you break in the alley. I'm meeting you I'm meeting you halfway, which is they could have been nicer But they are not they're not actually obligated to be nicer in this case They are paying a lot of money and they're really not I'm saying nice or not Well, I you're right. I'm projecting I'm certainly I think they were I just feel like they were fine I feel like they were just like more or less fine You know, I think they solved a little bit in by like continuing to eat their food, those overcooked.

Like they should just ask for another plate. Well, my response to you is. Everything all right. Okay. So then Kate goes and tells Matt that they're problems with the food and he's like, okay. And she's like, I would be mortified if I were you, you know, like if this is like your one job they're supposed to do and you fail at it, I'll be mortified. The one job. I mean granted, it is like 10

meals a day or some shit like that. So then he's like, yeah, so then he's like, I was like, lethargicly making bananas, fosters, or should I say lazy, basically, as EJ says later. So it's like, now do you think EJ just doesn't know the word, or is that like EJ's like new word? You know, he's like, is that his poor move? Yeah, he's like, I just want to inspire people. Yeah.

So I think that's a basic day's equal. I think he just did what we do a million times which is that he's just been talking for so long that all of a sudden he just completes things together. He's like, he which is that he's just been talking for so long that all of a sudden He just completes things together. He's like curious at customers for no reason. Yeah, so Matt Matt starts to make bananas fosters for dessert and kids like um Banana's foster is strange to serve on a yacht. This is not DJ fridays. It's strange. It's weird. It's lazy And Brad's like needs more ice cream

That was his only that was his only issue. Yeah. Now downstairs, now this is interesting. So Nico and EJ are talking. It's like nighttime, they're in the crew mess. And I actually, I know we're supposed to really hate EJ, but I actually kind of felt bad for him because he's like, he's brought in with no warning and put in like the authority position. I felt bad for him because he's like he's brought in with no warning and put in like the authority position And he has to like win over his crew without like you know, he doesn't want to ostracize him

But he's like he's aware he's the new guy so it's like so uh So you guys like when it's nine times you get just like just like stop like you guys don't like you don't like watch the windows Because they're like kind of crazy streaky. Yeah, it's that funny like a so shrieking. It's like the windows because they're like kind of crazy streaky. Is that funny? Like they're so shrieking. It's like, yeah, there's a scuff marks. You guys just, you just don't clean up, huh? You just don't do that.

Oh, yeah. Did you have crew can relax, huh? Well, that's great because guess who doesn't relax? Salt. Am I right? Salt does not relax. It is on the windows right. Because like, it's night.

So that's it. It's night. He's like, yeah, well, did that has so many scuff marks. So downtime will tackle that. Yeah. So yeah, well, just a it's nighttime, but maybe we'll just do like a little more cleaning upon just a little more gang. We're friends. We'll make a game out of it. Nico, Nico starting his self-help career. He's like, these guys aren't going to get me better. This is as good as it's going to get. He may be right. You go get him, Tiger. So, Jens, she's like, hi, dessert. I just did all the beds myself. And then I think it was a shower. Maybe it was a sink, although, but I was cleaning something.

And then they give a close-up of Brad's empty dessert bowl. And he's like, all right, let's play the feedback game. Yeah. Needed more ice cream. Now that was more dick-ish, I thought. Let's play the feed back game. You see? And then I wrote, Brad, you don't need more ice cream.

Or how about, Brad asked someone for more ice cream ice cream you can just it's like the easiest request could I get a little more ice cream for this just that's all you can do like yes Maybe it didn't need more ice cream, but how about just say hey, can I get a little more ice cream? Because that way you're sending feedback and getting what you want yeah and Jen's like Well, you want to chef to come out or should I relate a message? He's like just the one This guy is an asshole. Yeah, and actually I've gone out. Matt should have gone out and like I don't tell him Well, no, they told him he's like, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah

So he said so Matt mattress sponsors So he said, so Matt, Matt's response is, she's gonna say, have feedback. More ice cream. Did I just clean a stinker a shower? Does anybody know? I want to write it on the list. Hey, where is that list? Just like that's the toaster.

So on the desk and she's like, okay, when that's finale, range for the anniversary, go ahead and shoot him off. Like your head's gonna pop off if you talk any higher, Kate. So they go out to like the bunny deck or whatever deck it is. And like, all right, everyone, let's look over here. There will be some fireworks and like, they're all like, yay, and like a firework goes off and then that's it. And like, but then like a million of them go off. You reminded me, remember was like two years ago

when the Big Fireworks show in San Diego, they messed up and they shot all their fireworks off all at once. Yeah, but basically, it's basically like the chefs' entire storyline. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So it's like, when all else fails, just like everything on fire.

Hopefully it's a loud bang of the flashfully raised their memory of dinner. I don't know. They don't drink. It's all I have. So Mimol out on the deck. EJ is leading by example and he's cleaning up all the scuff marks and everything and he's like showing Bruno. He's like, look, if you like, take all the ropes and stick your arm around it through this and wrap the rope around it Like it works much better and we're gonna say whoa That's pretty cool actually I finally got it. I finally got it

And then he's moment we see EJ listening to Chris blather about that thing He's like this chat is gonna be an easy peasy man We had eight women and one of them had great boobs last time and then EJ is like I'm a yachtie for life I'd like to teach people crazy eyes and he goes I want to build better yachties this is what they deserve good and I wrote I predict he fucks Jen because they both got crazy eyes I hope so for Jen's sake she needs something yeah and by the way I don't hate EJ. I like EJ so far. Yeah, I don't hate him at all So the guests they go to sleep and EJ starts giving his impressions of the crew to Lee and

Basically, EJ is like He says that he likes to be more stringent on the crew sort of beyond their ass a little bit more and he feels like that Nico said a tone that was a little bit more lazy days ago, you know. So, I make those like, what? He's not going to get better. And Jen tells Kate, she's like, okay, they complained. Okay, because, well, maybe the chef is like fireworks.

Where is some beginning with the grand finale? Yeah. And then they show the chef in bed with his night camera eyes, just all sad. We'll just like flopped over on his back. He's like, I can't believe I have to make chicken strogan off tomorrow. So, uh, the cat, you already said this, the captain in EJ thing. So, yeah, he's like lazy, daisicle. And then he goes, well, look, me and Nico need to be on the same page. We got to be like When he does that gun thing that finger gun thing and the captain's like, huh, well, I agree I don't know what the finger guns are but I'll go with it as long as they don't make a mess

Do those gun shoots off off the You're my candy guy get to it So the next morning. Yeah Chris is a mess. Yeah. Oh Chris is a mess. Yeah, yeah Chris is a misery because he's sleeping in the in the mess He's looking in the mess Chris you can go to my bed if you want to are you feeling tired to I Understand feeling tired. Do you want me to tell you about it? It's like, oh, man, shut up. So Brad's in the kitchen. This goger didn't this bad, or were you lonely? Brad's in the kitchen, like looking around for the hidden stash of ice cream that he didn't get.

Yeah. Like still not letting it go. No one goes into someone else's kitchen, sir. Yeah, well, he was hungry. He's hungry. He paid $5,000. He wants a snack. So Matt's like walking, he's like, oh, can I help you with anything? He's like, yeah, I just want some coffee

and some like to do something. He's like, okay, so we, so Matt pages Jen, who is five minutes late for her shift, even though she went to sleep early. She's like, hey, make out. So then like 20 minutes later, she's like still getting dressed and her. She's currently her hair. She's like, I'm already 20 minutes late but Bree, can you check are there any crazy strangers back there? Like for her hair. I'm like girl put your hair in a ponytail and service Brad. Okay, like how are you late for work on a yacht? You have no commute. You wake up and you're there. Yeah. So then EJ is like, well, I feel like today's gonna be a good day and I'm gonna start off on a great note. But first I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Whoa! Chris is in the blood. So I'm not bad. He's like jerking off in there. And he's like,

well, buddy, I think you purposely wanted me to see that. Yes, yes he did. Yes. Good call. Which how can you not like, I know that Chris is like, I think you just douchebag ever. But how do you not love Chris? Yeah, I think he's so fucking funny He's like I'm gonna be jerk off or someone can catch me. Yeah, but before he walked in he's like But I didn't know if that was like a shit or a masturbation Well, I think he said you purposely wanted me to see that because he was like jerking off my bad So then Nico goes up to talk to captain leave you like so is Obviously wanted me to see that because he was jerking off. My bad. That's it. So then Nico goes up to talk to Captain Leigh.

So is EJ permanent or, and he's like, I don't know. I don't know. But you're seeing something I'm missing. See something, say something, right? Yeah. Well, my problem with it is that the tip share is an extra person. And he's like, we got a job to do suck it up cupcake. I was like, oh, really?

Are there cupcakes up here? So, EJ is now wearing those rubber gloves, like those cleaning gloves. Yeah. And he's like, homeboy doing windows. Hey, buddy, you doing waxing? Hey, Cheek-a-cheek. Could you start piecing the other the butt?

Hey, nerd melts. Can you start piecing together the butt? Hey, nerd melts. Could you start working on those ropes? Hey, jackalating juice back. Wait, that's me! Hey, I'm funny. So, he's like, hey guys, you're on normal beans. Just kidding, you're cool beans, Alia!

Baker's like, I have learning so much. Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. the more you eat, the more you fart, the more you fart, you better you feel. So we eat cool beans at every meal. Ah, thanks, EJ. And Brad's like these beans are overdone. No, no. I was like, how did you both undercook these beans and overcook them?

And EJ says, well my dad was in the Navy, which is why my bangs are like a fortress wall. I just can't stop protecting things. And because I'm gonna get some weak. Because he just explained her what week is and she didn't know. Like, what's that? He just like, do you ever notice how my bangs look like the gates of Mordor? So, Matt's still being quiet around Bury. And everyone's noticing that it's been day two

of him being quiet and so on. And here's another gem saying things. I don't even think she knows what she's talking about the time. She goes, is he being a standoffish with you like with me? It's been two days. Just saying. What? Just saying the time flies when you're on a boat.

Woo! How does time fly if you're on a boat? I can't wait till this boat lands. I got my parachute just in case something goes wrong. So now it's time to pull up the anchor. It's time to move the anchor. So the anchor is coming up and scraping up against the side of the boat and he goes like, gosh darn it. How does the EJ do this?

And then like something happened with a chain where the chain was scraping along a more chain and more metal and and he goes like, see this, see this bro? This is all metal, it's metal scraping on metal, see? No, I'll speak to you guys, he didn't take off the handbrake. Oh yeah, because the handbrake was the...

Yeah, so it turned the metal to goo and He's like fucking idiot and he's like, well, he just wants me to fuck up to so he can look better Buddy, you got another thing coming on cool bean and he goes like strike one fucking idiot But also I have to mention that the chef, after all of this branched it and the chef finally got some rest and Brad the foodie, he serves some eggs and bacon. Perfect. I know. So next week it looks like, it looks like EJ, you finally is like, okay, nice EJ has gone. I'm going to be a dick to Nico now. Now it's official. It's gonna be a dick.

So that's gonna be fun. I like when Bros fight. Yes, especially over petty little things. Like, who's the most important cleaner of the deck? Yeah. Um, so- MADE FIGHT! MADE FIGHT!

So that's it for below dick. Why don't we move over to Crappin's mailbag to finish up this week? Why don't we do that? What? Do it! This is when Krapins Mailbag is when we take questions from the Krapiners, the Geraldine's, for patreon.com slash watch or crap and if you support at the

crap and mailbag level you can write in a question or a comment. I also want to say you know one of our frequent mailbag contributors is a couple that I fondly call the Quinnitars. Well the Quinnitars came to our Chicago show and I only got to talk to them for like one minute but I already could tell that I loved them. I was like I really I would have talked to them for like 25 more minutes and they were hilarious and they're like by the way we are the They said the the Quintinars and I've been calling the Quintinars all the time so I'm sorry Quintinars I think I'm still sorry many tires Quintars Quintars Quintars. They're like half bull Quintinars I think I'm gonna still call them the Quintinars because I like home the Quintars

But they are actually called the Quintanars So sorry Quintanars So here's our first question is from Jessica Rally. See now Rally Jessica says picture it Sicily 1942 just kidding. She says picture it. It's Jack's Taylor and Captain Lee on watch what happens live Jack's Taylor tries to justify the breakup of Laura Lee to Captain Lee. Go. Well, someone's trying to go through 12 steps and you have trepum.

I mean, I don't know who does that. You know, poor girl, me to came. The next thing you do is push her down. Who does that? Well, you know, like, I already came inside with that protection, and it's pretty grievey, and turns out she's a meth head, and I got standard, so I had to move on. You got standards, huh? And why is this debt got spots all over it?

There's no spots there, that's just, that's the way it came. It came just like that, just like the way I came, and LORLY! Listen, listen kid, I know you're green at this. I've broken a lot of hearts in my day. And here's what you do when you're done. You sit them down, you look them straight in the eye, and you go, I'm done. Suck it up, cop cake! I can't, I can't. I'm realizing I have no Jackson impersonation. Have we ever come up with a Jackson personation after all these years No, I just sniffed not a lot Yeah, cuz I'm like wait a second Jackson's like one of the one of the the bigger

Robble liberties out there and we have no impersonation of him That's my impersonation facts That's what I do we do Jackson voice. That's my impersonation of tax. That's what I do. We do Jack's voice. That's it. Um, uh, um, so now, um, Oliver Haskins asks, I have a theory that Bethany is pivoting from Skinny Girl into another lifestyle brand name. Her charity is Be Strong. Her tagline was, if you want to mess with the B, da, da, da, da. And her new flower line is called bee floral. If I am correct, get ready for a Roni season, brought you by the letter B, like on Sesame

Street. However, I can't help but wonder if Kiwi Lai Salguro Angela Stone might feel that Bethany was creating a cheater brand on the back of being real. Assuming that Bethany wouldn't just hang up on Angela, how do you think that talk would go between Angela and Bethany? So I guess Angela accusing Bethany of being a tutor brand with being real.

Okay. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Hello. Oh, you're gonna be Angela. Oh my God. You had a very bad memory. I remember what it was again. I'll be Bethany.

I was actually gonna be Bethany, but i thought your rings and like Bethany that i can't imagine Bethany called people okay okay ring ring okay we're ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring What's going on? Who's this? Hello. May I speak with B-E-N-T-E? I'm sorry, I'm not interested. I'm like, I already got like, I already got like, time-order. I don't think I don't think I have like, cable system. It's fine. Like, I can't, like, live or not. Well, if I could give you some advice, I'd say B-Interested.

B. Like, what is that? Like, what is that? Like, is that like my brain? Like, the interested, like, is that like, like, B-Skinny? Like, is that like, like, B-Real? Like, what's that? Like, is that, is that, like what's that like is that like a charity? I'm calling because my name is Angela Stone surely you've heard of me like that singer like was like Angie Sound like singer like yeah, it's fine. I don't like having any Mercedes like you're a good singer and everything

But like I don't know who you are like what I like like like someone from like Australia someone like that Like I don't understand these things like what is that what is that? Anyway, like they down under like under what like under the globe like who's what's up? What's up? What's down? Like I don't get it. Like what's going on? The reason I'm calling you is because I've just come across a Google search with your charity called Be Strong Like like be strong like like this this crisis like right now like you know I've got like a black eye and I'm gonna go to Puerto Rico and I'm gonna like shop there And we get everyone like some skinny red ones andines and you know that's because I have everything Okay, like I'll say I can't like where's Frederick? I'm gonna take something

I've got a novel coming out called being strong and I was wondering if it might be too much trouble for you To change the name of your book Although be strong stance like it was written by two different scientists Not that there's anything wrong with it like Like literally if you like accuse me of having scientists go to writers like one more time, I'm gonna be like on the floor. Like my watcher up, my watcher up, and I'm gonna be on the floor.

Like just say, I kill me right now. Like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I kill me with a kiwi fruit. Okay, like a kiwi fruit, not a review, cause you're a kiwi. Like I don't know, I don't know what a kiwi is. Like what is this bird? Is it a fruit?

Is it like a person from New Zealand? Like what's a kiwi? What is it? My advice to you would be when you're on a sidewalk walk then decide Like like what is that supposed to be maybe feel better like of course I'm gonna walk down the side like this What sidewalk is like you just walk walk on it? Although I guess they're really walking on top of it So why would you call a sidewalk like why would you call a sidewalk a sidewalk if you're walking on top of it?

What shouldn't be called like a top walk like walk a top like I can literally I can't like honestly Like it's killing me like this this phone calls like blowing my mind right now like honestly who are you? You are like a genius. Like whoever you are, I want to partner with you. I want to be with your brand right now because you're blowing my mind. Like you are keeping it real. Like my brain is so real right now and it's like full of angiostone. Like I love you.

If your glass is half full, call over a bus boy to get it to be half empty fuller. Well, it's like blowing my mind. Like, of course. Like, of course my my glass is helpful But like what if I want to have that be you're so right like I can't like I can't like it's too much like I'm like kill me right now Like you're like you know with a feather like I don't even know what the feather came from Instead of saying goodbye Maybe you should start saying hello

Like that makes so much more sense because every time I say goodbye someone people walk away But if I said hello, they wouldn't they'd say I like like boy am I like being real like I'll see I get it I get it I don't forget it well I just want you to know unless you change the name of your charity I'm coming out with the skinny girl Margarita mix called skinny girl you know what go fuck yourself alright hello Kurt hello Kurt Hello, Kurt. Hello, Kurt. Close up that, Balebale. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright We did it! We did it! There's no more below dick to talk about. We finished the episode and now go to sleep.

Everyone, thank you so much for listening all this week. Thank you to everyone who has bought tickets to our San Francisco show. You're excited about that. Keep your ears open for future dates and future cities. And have a wonderful weekend, and we'll be back on Monday to talk some shazza sense set. Bye, everybody! Bye!

Bye! Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.