Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckDownUnder: Asea Asea Asea, Oi Oi Oi!

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

By popular demand, we are visiting the world of Below Deck Down Under! And of course we choose a kind of lame episode to recap. So, instead, we look back at the season and its horrific track record of professional shortcomings. Oh, and in case it isn't clear — Ryan sucks.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is, watch what crap is, who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is

What happens Crab Kids, what happens when this all happens? You want crap? What do you want me to do? Kids, what happens when this all happens? Hello and welcome to Watch Your Crappins! A podcast about all that crap on Bravo

that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben, Ben Mandelker. Joining me today is the one and only, Ronnie Caram. Hey Ronnie, what's going on? Well, hello, Ben. How are you doing today? Sup, bra.

So I'm doing good because I have just gotten caught up with Bullo dick Doon under. Yeah, to blow down on it because of COVID. So it's been a long time since I've seen this choice. A lot of nice twists on the genre. We've got the captain, who's the one who never sees his kid. You know, it's like crazy. They've really gone to new places with BulloDak. I'll tell you that much.

Yeah, they really have. So we've been getting a lot of requests for us to recap down under. And we just didn't because our schedule's been full. And it's really, it's very difficult to do to blow decks for us at the same time. It's a really rigorous show for us to recap, because there's a lot of notes and a lot of stuff to discuss. I still love it, but it was actually very nice to be able to be able to just watch this show instead of having to take notes while watching it. And I've been absolutely loving Down Under, and it's been such a wild season.

And we had a little spot on our schedule this week, so we figured, why not? Why not? Let's have a moment to talk below deck down, Ilmda. It's been, there's been a lot of ineptitude on this boat. Almost everyone, I think with the exception of Asia, has been terrible. Like everyone has fucked up.

There have just been so many, and Culver, Culver seems to be all right, and now he's fucking up too. Maybe Pratini, maybe Pratini is okay, but it's been a whole season, I mean, shaking my head. but it's been a whole season. I mean, shaking my head. And you know, and we're so lucky. Just the, we have shitty luck, okay? But we're like, let's finally cover

an episode of Blow Deck Down Under. Well, they just got rid of Chef Ryan and Magda, who were like the funniest things on this show. So it's like, wow, okay, great. Now we can just watch a new semi hot kind of talented maybe person do this. So I think we should talk about the whole season because I don't we don't need like a solid recap of one episode for the whole season. So I think we should just like go over the season because this is just too good. Yeah, I mean, ever since Magda has been on I've been going around the house saying oh my god

My Just sobbing all over my house looking for my imaginary Phone and every time somebody tells me something I don't like I say but my boyfriend what my boyfriend what will my boyfriend think I'm sorry you don't like but I'm model I'm a model so sometimes people just have problems with me because I'm model yeah magda has a really high sense of self and she really believes that she's an excellent stew. And yeah, she came on the boat, she was like, well, I, you know, I work on boats,

but I also am model. You might see me in Penny Saver Centerfold swimsuit edition. I don't know, but I model and I have boyfriend in Poland and I love to talk to him late at night for all 24 hours. I mean yes and her conversations with her boyfriend go like this. Hello boyfriend? Yes hello girlfriend. What are you doing? Nothing. What are you doing? You better not be talking to girl. No you better not be talking to boy. Are you talking to boy? Oh my God, my phone, my boyfriend. Oh.

And then she runs around worried that her boyfriend's cheating or worried that he's gonna think she's cheating, but then she's totally trying to get on chef, the disgusting piece of shit chef Ryan. Ryan, like of course the only one who really seems to be inter-Ryan is magged at. There was a moment when to me, oh by the way, to me is the only one who really seems to be inter-Ryan is magged. There is a moment when to me, oh by the way, to me is the only one who hasn't fucked up.

To me is amazing. I love to me. And at the end of this latest episode, she was talking about that there might be an opportunity like to be on a boat in the South of France. And I am praying that she is taken on to below deck med. Like I would love toy where the chiefs do in Bologdeck Med because that would be,

like I love, love, love Tumy. But either way, there was like a moment where Tumy was like, you know, I like Ryan because, you know, I see a torch at so, then I like to fix people and I was like, no, don't you dare Tumy. Do not go near that chef. That chef is toxic and you're wonderful.

Do not get drawn into his fucking pathetic games, okay? And luckily she really didn't, and said magda kind of took over that role. Yeah, magda kind of did, because Ryan just was too much. I mean, geez, this guy, okay, first of all, he sucks at what he does, okay? He sucks as a person, but he's also just a terrible chef.

I mean, he was sending a, his final thing was like a pasta that didn't have salt or something. Yeah. It was like just bad, bad stuff. And whenever anybody said anything, he'd be like, fucking idiots. Yeah. They had one of his last charters was a charter of British people,

and they wanted to high T thing for fun. And he's like, fucking sounds British to me, stupid idiots. Would you just want some sandwiches with that's a fucking crust? Fucking morons. Cut, you know British people are tasteless. Yeah, stupid British people. That's one finger now, British idiot. Yeah, he was like, uh, it's a stupid.

I talk about like, low class. I wanna have a high T. This is low class low class. They wanna have a high tea. This is low class, do people... I'm like actually high tea is considered to be incredibly high class. People dress up and they pay a lot of money to go to hotels to do high tea. It's a fancy thing actually.

And the only thing that's low class is your version of it, which is these weird circle sandwiches that were like ham and cheese. It's like so not even close to high tea. I've never really done high tea, but even I know that what the things you're supposed to do for it, I little triangle sandwiches like cucumber and like cream cheese sandwiches, it's called Google and you couldn't even be bothered to Google how to do high tea. And that was the whole story for him. All season long was like, I'm gonna say when dinner is

and I'm gonna make the food for dinner. And then they just have to adjust to me. And he was just so obnoxious but didn't have the quality or the skill to back it up. It's like, you know, like your tiny, inverted dick energy out of here. Yeah, and Aish would be like, oh my God, we're gonna have for breakfast.

And he's like, that's serious, that's it. But why if they won't eat no more? No, tell them, tell them, fuck you, that's what. Tell them to go suck my non-British dick, how about that? Wow, you're... And then one episode of the guest were fishing and they caught a squid and they're like, oh, can you make the squid? You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, the squid was like in a bucket and he wasn't making the

squid for them and they kept asking for it. And then finally he makes it and he makes just sort of like a fried calamari with it. I'm like, do you not have any pride in your work? Do you not even like, do you not see this and be like, oh, what a cool challenge. I want to try to do something. I want to wow them. He like does not want to wow anyone. You like not have any pride in your work. Do not even like, do not see this and be like, oh, what a cool challenge. I wanna try to do something. I wanna wow, I mean, he like does not want to wow anyone. He wants people to be wowed by him, you know?

Yeah, he sucks. And so he treated Asha like crap the whole time. And Asha's problem with this is kind of predictable, right, with the season, I mean, because she's chiefs do now. And so of course, who's going to run over Asia everybody because she's too nice, right? So that's kind of been her thing is not really knowing how to deal with a monster like him or really like Magda who she was pretty nice to considering Magda sucked.

She was really nice to Magda. Considering Magda kept messing up, Magda would like put gloves in her back belt. And at one point, a glove fell into the toilet and she flushed it and she didn't even notice. And it clogged up the entire system and caused the toilets to overflow. And to the point where Benny had to deal with it and like like Benny was like, oh, and we'll get to Benny by the way. But Magda, so then they finally have to say, okay, here's a new room, Magda. Nook loves down in the living quarters. And then the very like next hour Magda's town there

with like a glove on her belly. I was like, Magda, don't you remember Nook loves down here, Megda? One of the most frustrating things on this boat is the lack of stop it. Like I kinda need a captain Lee who's just like, fuck no, stop it, Goddamn it, you idiot, you moron. Cause you've got Captain Jason, who by the way, you should Google below deck down under cast and see the picture they're using for Captain Jason who by the way you should Google below doubt below deck down under cast and see the picture

They're using for Captain Jason Can't really look right now. It's like from 1990 when he I guess was like an actor It looks like he's an actor. He looks like the guy from angel from the old show angel This is what his arm is cross It's a picture of him really, really young and hot. He looks like a movie star, like a TV star guy. Oh, wow. It's just the regular Google search.

You see it? Yeah, I do. So I love that he's just like an old dinner theater star. He's like, it's me, Jason from 1990. That's my cast picture. Thank you. But anyway, he seems like he's going to be stern. And everyone's flirting with him because he's anyway, he seems like he's gonna be stern

and everyone's flirting with him because he's hot, right? Like he's like legit hot. And everyone thinks he's gonna be stern because he has this like disco helmet that he makes the dumb one every week where like the biggest fuck up of the week has to wear this helmet out. And so you think he's gonna be good, but he is terrible.

I mean, this Magda chick got to walk around the boat literally on her phone all day long. When have we ever seen that on this show? Never seen it. You see them like go off into a corner on break and call their mom. Even when it's like dad died, you know, they're like, hold on, I need to take a break to talk to my mother for two minutes in the bathroom. You know, I've never seen anybody walking around the boat yapping on their fucking phone all day. How was Dr. Jason just like no phone? Just give me your phone during work hours you can have it at break. Like what the hell? Well also to the point where one of the engineers was

like Sid, Bowen, the way Captain Jason and Magda has been using like 95% of the ship span with and like that alone should have been enough to say, you're on the nice, if I catch one your phone again, you're fired. But instead she was reprimanded and she continued to do it. And she would be on her phone fighting with her boyfriend in her bunk while Aisha was above her trying to sleep.

It was crazy. And the worst part is so Aisha had this, you know, I take a bag, Asia did fuck up because she's like, you know, you see what I want to do is so that where she feels my motivated, I want to put her on service more so I keep an eye on her. So she actually gave her more responsibility and put her in a more high profile position as a punishment, which was just terrible because then Magda, like she's like, there's one episode where she's holding the tray of champagne and she knocks it over as they guess, come on to the boat.

I mean, it just like, she was a disaster at all moments. And the fact that she just, like, could not do anything at all. And Aisha was so nice to her and then Magda would turn around and be like, oh, she is so mean to me, all she does is like, do it nicer, like, I would work better if I was led nicer. Yes, well, that's also a recurring theme on this season, is like, but you didn't inspire me to do better.

Like what? That's not your boss's job to make you fucking feel inspired and want to be there. Nobody fucking wants to be there. You're cleaning toilets, okay? Nobody wants to go to work. It's very, very few people who want to go to work, okay? You get paid, that's your inspiration.

Shut up with that. You don't inspire me. You're not model, okay? You tell me get rid of my phone. It's not like I'm not gonna have boyfriend now. Okay, Manta. Okay, Noah's telling you you can't have a boyfriend but get off the fucking phone, my lady. Yeah, and the way that she and Ryan would conspire. And then they were like at one point they were just conspiring together, just talking about like how shitty Asia is. And then to meumi overhears it and tells Asia,

it's like they're saying this talking shit. And Asia's like, well fuck you guys. And then Ryan, because Ryan over here is Asia reacting to that. And then Ryan goes up to Tumi. He's like, yeah, fuck you, you're so fucking fake. Yeah, my mistake was that I said anything to Tumi. I'm like, Tumi is the most professional person on this boat.

She's the only one who actually took time to look past your 15 years of undelt with trauma to see that there might be a nice person in there and you're gonna just spit on her like that. He's like the real life version of Goodwill Hunting. Like Goodwill Hunting is the Hollywood version of that, but like Ryan is the one. And in real life, there is no like hug with

Robyn Williams where you say like it's not your fault, it's not your fault. It's just you just got Ryan, that's what it is, because Ryan is the one who goes up to someone on a window and goes, how about these apples and then it's like creepy and annoying and you're like, oh get the fuck away from me, person at the window, you know, but like in a movie it's cute, you know. Yeah, he's so gross. And they all go out one night, they're doing their like party segment. They're like, yeah, woo! In a club. And someone's like, hey, they're all these drunk people. And they're like, wow, pretty girls. Show us your teeth. Show us your teeth. Being gross, you know?

And he's like, oh yeah, you talk to women like that. You don't talk to women like that. Fuck you! Fuck, you don't talk to bitches like that? You don't talk to one of the fuck you. Fuck you don't talk to bitches like that. Who's gonna talk to fucking bitches like that? What the fuck? And then so he starts getting in a fight with these guys and trying to look all bad ass in front of the ladies. When he's been the biggest misogynist asshole the whole time. Yeah, like when at one point A show is like,

say how many of you also have you shift on? And he goes, well, I don't ask you how many backings you've used. Just like, totally a lot of. Yeah, totally a many of you should have done? And he goes, well, I don't ask you how many backings you've used. Just like, yeah, we're the view cleaned. Yeah, totally. Too big. He was like so, so vile and awful. But to be fair, I will say that one thing that I think that maybe

Ryan was right about was that when Captain Jason at one point is like, so, you know what we talked about, you know, taking it up another level. So how about some, you know, some garnish, maybe some flower petals or something? It's like, okay, Jason, this, no. He wanted to, but he kept on saying, like, let's put flower petals on everything. Like, I can understand a chef getting annoyed with Captain Jason about that. Everything else though, Jason was right about. Yeah, but only with saying was like,

make the food look decent. Like it's not prison. Don't just slopp shit on the plate, you know? This guy was like making cheese. There you go, have fun. You want an omelet? It's getting one fucking thing in it. I'm telling you that, okay?

I'm like, I'm gonna let you in on some. But you ain't getting a fucking omelet. All right, there's your omelet. I think he was just like, you know, people look Instagram, so maybe put something people can look at on the TikTok. Yeah. Some of them saying. Yeah, I mean, Ryan was just, like, it was just shocking how bad he was every single episode. There was like one episode where he actually put a little bit of an effort in.

So they're all like, oh my god, he's putting an effort in. But it was just like, it was such a low bar. It was like steak. It was steak or something. It was something so easy. They're like, wow, Ryan didn't spit while he was serving. That, I mean, that guys really come a long way. Like when people set the bar so low for themselves, you know, he's like, he didn't tell anybody, fuck you bitch for five minutes.

And they're like, where, gold star? What's the opposite of the disco helmet we can give Ryan really change, they? I know, it's so true. And then the, I think one of the terrible parts was, he finally gets fired and this new guy, Knight from Waga, Waga, he comes in and he only has

a few hours prepped for the next charter. And the galley is a disaster and it's like the areas that Ryan was supposed to be taking care of. Like everything was like a grease on it. You know, there was like buckets of strange shit. Like the whole thing was like disgusting. And you look at it as a comparison with Marcos on sailing yacht. Where Marcos is like killing himself to try to outdo himself. I do molecular gastronomy.

Have you ever heard of it? It's when you make a potato. Tastes like a potato, but it looks like chocolate. Mm, gastronomy. Yeah. But he's always trying to do that. And he's always cleaning the galley and then Ryan leaves this shit pile of grease

and it's like kitchen nightmares. This is how kitchen nightmares happen. Oh god, the part of the stove where they pull out, like the flat top you pull it out, and it's just disgusting. Like he'd never cleaned it. I mean, this is another thing that makes you think, I don't wanna go on these boats.

I mean, there's no health department giving you a grade. You know what I mean? Yeah. There's literally nobody to stop people like Ryan. You don't know what you're gonna be getting really gross And then when the captain did sit him down for a talk because Asia this is also where Asia failed she's She's doing this thing where she wants to be liked and so she's not Taddle-tailing and I know nobody really wants to be a taddleail because probably she did tattletail. People would be like, oh, Aisha, what a tattletail. But she wasn't really informing the captain

on this stuff that was going on with Ryan at all. It wasn't until the captain noticed that he's like, we have Ryan, he's got a problem. She's like, yeah, I didn't want to say anything. Well, you should because the food sucks. He's just disrespectful and shady to everybody. And that's kind of your job, you know. And Ryan is so lucky that he only had to deal with Asia because if he'd been on with Hannah

or Kate, he'd like, would not have survived. They would have destroyed him. Kate would have just like dismantled him with past regression. And Hannah just would have yelled at him, she would like, now you listen here, honey, you better make good food, honey. You think this is good, why pieces of shit like you? Well, I don't eat pieces of shit like you, because I don't like eating pieces of shit. But if you were saved, it's to me

I'd be eating a piece of shit because that's what you cook. There, I saved it. I saved my dis. So when the captain does finally sit him down, he's like, you know, your attitude's not good. Oh, yeah, my attitude's not gonna fuck that Well, thank God I don't work for you then. Thank God I work for the guests But your food snuck up to pop for you. Thank God I'm not cooking for you, right? Right? I mean that guy should have been

Well, I mean, I think he actually was trying to fire him because he they kept on showing for several weeks He was reaching out to Australian Norma to get a replacement and they just couldn't find anyone so like to be fair He had been trying for weeks Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much

of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Magda also should have been fired a long time ago because she was terrible. And then also honestly, I think Benny should have been fired a long time ago, because she was terrible. And then also honestly, I think Benny should have been fired. And I know that now we're at the part of the season where Benny is getting redemption,

but Benny has been awful all season. And I don't like Jamie at all, by the way. I'm not on team Jamie, but Benny has been totally not doing his work, he will be given a list of things to do late at night. He does like three of them and it's like, but I was tired and I'm not inspired to lead. You don't understand. It's like, Benny, do the fucking checklist

for crying out loud. You're not inspiring me, but Benny lost his parents both at the same time during COVID, which is so fucking sad, you know, like really for anybody. And so they're giving him a little leeway, you know, which I think is nice, you know? But if he's real fragile, that's still.

Yes, as a person, it's like you feel really bad for him, but then as a worker, you're like, well, this isn't really a personal tragedy thing. This is like you're just a shitty worker too, you know? Because that whole like, and then he was trying to boss Brittany around personal tragedy thing. This is like you're just a shitty worker too, you know, because that whole like, and then he was trying to boss Brittany around at the beginning. And Brittany, we haven't talked about Brittany. Brittany.

Or Brittany, she's like, why can't people get it? It's like Brittany, it's like Brittany and I'm a martini. Like, why can't you just get it? You're name stupid. Okay, your name is stupid. That's why people can't get it. And also your name is Brittany. Okay. That's just stupid. That's why people can't get it and also your name is Britney Yeah, that's just it you can try and make us pronounce it however you want it is spelled Britney and it is Britney That's it Yeah, and she's like like her main thing is that there's like not enough communication It's like a targineau what's going on because Jamie doesn't talk which is true, too because

Jamie It's like a targeneer what's going on because Jamie doesn't talk, which is true too, because Jamie has his own bullshit. First of all, he's very condescending to all the women on the boat in general. He's definitely like a show of anist, and then he always is feeling persecuted by the captain. He complains, Jamie is passive aggressive, and then he tattles on his own crew to the captain and the captain sort of like shrugs and he's like, oh, I guess it's just me against the captain.

I was a police officer. I save people. I deserve better than this. You know, it's like shut up Jamie. Yeah, but you're not one now. So what's the story there, buddy? And then he tattles on the captain to everybody else and tries to like form mutiny against the captain. He's like, well, captain, you're running things very unsafely it as a police officer I would like you to know I do not approve and the captain's like how dare you I'm very safe and everyone will tell you He's like but you're crashed about he's like I did crash about into a restaurant But it was a difference

Actually, I'm actually quite safe. So I was like, you don't know, it's so hard to even choose sides on this show because everyone's got a point, you know. And the captain really does have that sad look in his eyes of someone who's crashed a button to a restaurant. He really does. He's never going to be able to let it go. He just looks so sad. And that charter you were talking about where the guys wanted their squid cooked. That was a charter that was a guy who used to work under the captain who now is rich enough to charter his friends and go catch his own squid staff. And he just had that look on his face the whole time like, well, Gil used to work for me. I'm just so happy for him. And you can't cook him a squid. So.

I'm happy for Gil, which is funny, that his name is Gil, because I'm such a fish. It's a mad at name, I really don't know the real name. I know, but I'm going to go with it. I'm happy for him. I'm happy that he got such a big insurance settlement from my yacht crash that he now can actually come on the yacht as a guest. I'm happy that I did that for him. You know, it's really a good story because gear was almost decapitated the day that we

crashed into the chilies on the dock and his head was almost an awesome blossom and look at him now, you know, juggling his own boat. If he hadn't been wearing that disco bowl helmet, we may have lost him. But Jamie, there was something early in the season that really pissed me off, and I just don't remember the details of it, but basically he was yelling at Tumi in the hot tub, and he was yelling at both the girls, and it was so obnoxious, because on top of that,

there was some issue where also, like late at night, Tumi was like, Tumi and Culver were on late night and Culver got into the hot tub with a guest and was like playing with the guest and Tumi was doing all the work. And then she's like, I think she complained to either Jamie or, there was a complaint and then Jamie basically took Culver's side and was like, You know, it's whatever you have to do. He kind of just like dismissed to me as if she were just like some You know hysterical girl and I just remember being like oh fuck you Jamie like no one does that to to me Okay, you were so obnoxious and then of course there was the whole bitch thing where oh That's the best that was one of my favorite parts of the, see the terrible people bring the good stories.

Cause this killed me, this bitch thing. I loved it. Yeah, cause basically earlier in the season, somewhat like A-Show was like, how you doing bitch? And he's like, don't call me bitch. Cause not taking. And then at another point,

like I think maybe Pratini had said like, hey bitch, cause don't call me a bitch. Cause his whole thing is, I was a place of, so I've saved people's lives. And you're't call me a bitch. Cause his whole thing is, I was a police officer. I've saved people's lives and you're gonna call me a bitch. So very triggering. So they start laughing cause they're all out and pretend he wasn't even really talking to him. She was just like, what's up, bitch?

Something like that. He's like, hey, that is triggering for me. I am a police officer. Hey, bitch, don't do it again. If you do it again, she's like, what bitch? And so they're like, oh, bitch. Because they made Magda. They made Magda.

They were joking about it in the car. And then they're like, Magda, say it. So then Magda does it in a really aggressive way. She goes, hurry up. You bitch. And so then hurry up. I have boyfriend, you bitch. So then Jamie is pissed. But then, you know in some ways he did say like hey

Don't call me this. I don't like it. He established a personal boundary and they definitely fucked with him But then he like festered on it for like 48 hours. It's like dude Not only did he fester, but then he went and he complained to the cat and he goes, yeah, well, I think we have some issues, you know, Britini. She's not, you know, she's, she's been making fun of some, like, making a bunch of fun of a bunch of the crew members. She turns it into that Britini is mocking other her co-workers, which is 100% not what happened. And it was so vile and toxic. It's like, because this is what happens in people's workplaces.

This guy can't deal with it. And then now he goes and he complains and he like potentially gets someone fired. This guy is total tiny penis syndrome. Everything, every single thing about him, it's like he's a control freak, but then he... All he does is tattletail. He runs and he fucking tattles himself.

This one, he goes to the captain, he's like, well, there was some words to use, very offensive hate speech. It mean very true. I was assaulted with a word, bitch, the B word, the worst, and the captain's like, really? All right, well, the word was bitch. Triggard, oh I'm triggered captain, that day.

All right, I'll take care of it. So the captain's like, well, this guy's mad The word was bitch then triggered on triggered captain that day all right I'll take care of it so the captain's like well this guy's mad that I want fire you know Ben or Ben So I'm gonna have a talk with Brutini So he'll feel like I'm on his side So he goes to Brutini and he's like nearly seen we can't have language like that towards people He felt emotionally salted and triggered by the word bitch. So Brit Vittini, of course, starts, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I've been all over the boat and I'm going to everybody like, I could live my job over

this. But then he's just like, don't worry about it. He's just pro-local bitch. And they start cracking up. I mean, that was the irony of it. Was that Jamie was being basically a bitch. And I, you know, I have my thing where I don't like, I don't, I think it's sort of like fucked up to say that if a man is being like pathetic or whatever, that we then equate them to a woman,

like I think that's like fucked up. But that being said, understanding the way that they're saying the word bitch, I mean, he was kind of living up the definition of the thing that he didn't wanna be, you know? So that was the best part of that. And Jamie's just awful. And, but then Benny is terrible.

And like there was, and basically, Jamie and Benny got into this thing because Benny was like, he's like, you don't tell me what to do because he was like, Benny, I need you to stand up for you. He was like, you don't get to tell me what to do. I will stand over there when I want to because he was like, they were lowering a chain

and Culver was in the tender or something and he's like, Benny, hold on. He's like, I see him, I see him. And it became like a whole thing. He's like, I've had enough, I've had enough. So they have like a, like, Benny, hold on. He's like, I see him, I see him. And it became like a whole thing. He's like, I've had enough, I've had enough. So you have like a, like, I came to a head where they had to like, sit down with Captain Jason

and decide like, well, Benny be fired. And Benny, that part where Benny was like, oh my God, he's bossing Britini around, right? So Britini's like, you'll get a boss me around. I'm a strong woman. He's like, oh, but like I'm a guy and I understand things So you have to do what I say no, I don't you better respect me Yes, this whole moment right where he's being a total asshole and then they're like or ought Vanny We need you to crawl into the into the engine room or whatever was it the engine room or the anchor room or whatever? In the season, they just weird ass anchor

that when the chain comes up, they need to take this little pole thing. It's like this little rod. And they've got to make sure the chain goes in like a circle as it comes in, it wraps around properly. So they have to go into this tiny, tiny, teeny, tiny little space. And Benny is like deathly afraid of it.

Look, I can't do it, guys. I can't do it, man. You know how quick they go? I can literally do it, man. You say I can't. I can't, I can't. I almost do it. It's like freaking out.

I think it keeps showing throughout the entire season, Prachini and Culver, and they were like, without a problem, just like, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. I'm like, no, it's gonna eat, right? No. So funny. season, Prachini and Culver and they were like without a problem just like So funny so the one we really haven't talked about yet is Culver Bradbury I'm a you know, I'm a dickhank. Yeah, who my family has a farm in Maryland That's right. What is this have this other accent but I'm from Maryland Because that's where my mom Kim also known as chef Kim. That's what we call her

That's where she hold on. I'm getting a call from my parents. Hi mom and dad So good to see you. Yeah, everyone thinks I'm funny with my mom. Let's talk to you lighter and we back to you Ronnie John guy so cool for his cute, you know, it's a really cute guy and he's also of course a James Talk to you later and we back to you Ronnie. Yeah. Yeah. God. So Culver is cute. You know, it's a really cute guy. And he's also of course, Jamie just trust everything Culver says and doesn't come up against Culver because he's another worked out cute guy. I mean, I think that that's like the code.

Like he's going to go after Benny all the time because Benny is like kind of a nerdy weakling, but he's never going to fuck with Culver. Even though Culver has been a worse offender, he's been like, Mike should, the trash is taking that Culver, and Culver's like, yeah, all right, I'm gonna, and then just doesn't, and then there's maggots all over the boat. There were maggots on the boat,

and then like they get in trouble, and then Jamie is like, who did this? And then Culver doesn't say anything. He just ends there. I'm like, what the fuck, Culver? And he knows this Culver, and that's why they, that's why I say it's like, who did this? And then Culver doesn't say anything. He just ends there. I'm like, what the fuck, Culver? And he knows it's Culver. And that's why I say it's like Hot Guy Code. Or like, you know,

Mahatma, a J-Sat. Jock Code or whatever. Right, bro code. So he's like, he knows that Culver did it. And he asks Culver and Culver to nice it. But he knows that he's lying. And so the captain's like, well, someone's got to take the fall for it.

And Jamie, since you're at the boss, you get to decide you can make who actually did it take the fall or you can take the fall. And Jamie's like, but he's hot. So I'll take the fall. What? What? How are you doing that when you're like, mopping the floor with Benny, you know? Yeah, exactly.

And so now, and I, and Culver, I mean, he seems really nice, but like he totally is getting a pass on so many things. I thought the garbage thing was crazy. And then now all of a sudden, Culver, well, first of all, Culver is of the school that Mullets are still funny. So he has the Kyle, the Kyle Mullet from Summer House. And he brings you, I was like, hey everyone. It's, it's, it's, it's whatever.

I'm not, I didn't even commit to memory my party persona. And I think that's okay for all of America that we don't remember it. Cause here I am in a mallet, guys, here I am. I'm like, oh God, the mallet, yeah. Oh, gover, yeah. And so Brittany is, it's like a huge crash on cover. And cover is very much like, well, she's a girl on a boat.

I'm on a boat. So, you know, only that's her. And here's me. Like there's no chemistry. There's no indication. I don't think that this guy is into her. And so Brittany's whole thing is like, I'm gonna talk to him about my feelings now.

Well, she's, don't do this to yourself. If you want to drive around in a van together because that's like what we do, like I'm gonna be in a van person. So like, if you want to travel around a van with me, that's what we're gonna do, right? He's like, I mean, I guess so. He just wants to go back to the farm and play

with Golden Retrievers. What are you talking about, Pratini? Like, for some reason, there's a thing on Belodeck where there's this strange post-Belodeck nomad land connection where everyone, there's always could be someone's like, let's get into a van. It was like, Adam the chef, we're gonna go into a van

and drive around and be real. And I don't know what the- And that's H. She's with her boy, she's with the love of her life in a van. She had one of my favorite lines of the season because she's like, until you've shittin' a bucket in front of somebody in a van and still been attracted to them, you don't know love.

Something like that. Yeah. And so, yeah, basically, Brutini, I feel like has hatched this van plan. Maybe Culver did. Maybe Culver said it as a joke, and she just like latched onto it. But yeah, she's been like really trying to make something happen. And he's just like, uh-huh. And he he keeps looking away and being like, I'm not interested. And that kind of brings us to the latest episode because the latest charter guest, it's this girl named Jordy, and she is awful. I feel like we have met her before.

I don't want to say that she's a universal type, but if you've been in LA, she is a definite LA type. There's a certain type of girl in LA that you meet who's like, oh my God, oh my God, I just went to Venice. I got the most amazing cute scarf, and I'm gonna do yoga tomorrow. I just wanna cleanse myself. I'm actually a don't eat meat. I'm on, like vegan or vegetarian.

Sometimes I'll have some salmon, but that is it. And I do not drink. And then the second later, yeah, let's get bottle service. Oh my God, bottle service. Can we get some sliders? Yes, like this fake ass, like holistic personality. That is what Jordi is to me. Yes.

So she's on this charter with her brother, Teft. Is this named Teft? Teft. Yeah. Oh my god, Teft. Who is hot? I mean, it's like Jordy's in the attic these two, okay? They're like clearly either fucking or like flirty or about to fuck.

Both of them have too much born hub in their life and think that's totally normal. Like there is definitely something weird between those two. So those are the charter guests. And Jordy is now drinking all of a sudden and going a little too crazy and flirting with her brother too hard. And Aisha's like, oh my God, I hope it's not like gremlins with a nice and cute and to lay a dream.

No. I think that's how we all are. I think like Gremlins is a parable for anyone who gets drunk because we're all are nice and cute until we start drinking. I'm like, hey, what's going on? How's it going? Hey, hey, guess what's going on? And then and taft, by the way, he goes,

I'm named after a taft seller or something like that. And she goes, Jordy goes, no, you're named after moms. I'll fuck body from high school. Rrr. And we've also got two nubes on this. We've got the new chef. No, and mate is like kind of cute, but he's got that, he's got that Fred Flintstone Barney rubble beard. Johnny bananas.

Where? Who's it? He sort of has a Johnny bananas look too, you know, from the challenge. Oh, I think he's way hotter than Johnny Benanna's. No offense, Benanna's. But, well, again, low bar. Yeah, it's got this like weird Flintstone rubble, stubble painted onto his face. It's odd.

It's like all one shade. It's like not really stubble. It's just like drawn on. You know what I mean? So um, we've got him who's just thrown into the shithole of a kitchen. Doesn't know anything going on and then they asked for nine million things. And then you've got the new girl who's Taylor Taylor. He's very Catherine McFeeish right. She sort of has a Catherine McFee kind of look and I think Taylor's going to benefit from only being on for one and a half charters because I feel like if she had a full season we would hate her. Monster, she's got like robot, she's got

robot sorority, girl, she's got like Tracy Flick kind of arms but then like Tracy Flick lets her hair down and she's like a soap opera villain. You know? So I think I would actually love to see a whole season of her. I mean, she would be great, but we would hate her. We would love how much we'd hate her. But she's lucky because she'll be forgotten about. But if she had had a whole season, we'd be like, oh God, she's terrible.

Yeah, but she definitely comes on like pick flick. And she's like, well, I started working. My first bit was when I was 15 years old and I just now had a deep things. She's got this really tight smile and her hair's pulled back really tight and she's immediately passing around to me. She's like, sorry, I'll just like delegating.

I'm so used to delegating because I've been working on bet with like 60s and everything is like, oh my God, like this boat is like so different because on my boat there's like three different breakfasts happening, all it wants, there's like the captain's breakfast and there's the guests and then there's the nanny breakfast and I do all of it all at once because I've got 10 arms. Sorry did I mention that part? I'm so used to talking about it. Yeah, and she's talking to Brittany and of course bullets and so Brittany's like So do you like the mouse?

And she's like, well, I've never had a good looking captain before but I would say that one closest to my job Jamie like oh god Wow, you picked the hottest most muscular one. I'm completely shocked also he's terrible Yeah, I was like wait till you find out that he is the worst, okay? And then, so then Jordy, meanwhile, the entire time while Jordy's on, she's like, she's very, she's like, she's a very sad person, I feel like. She's like, yeah, so what's going on? And she's like, very obsessed with Culver and Brittany. And she's what's going on? Pretty people, what's going on? What are you guys doing? Oh my god how are you? And it feels almost like she's angling for a

three-way, but you also get the sense that she's the sort of girl who when there's a three-way she then kicks the other girl out of the three way You know Yeah, she does this whole she does a sing the whole charter where it's like she's trying to get Brit Britini together I can't fucking Brit me. I'm sorry Britini your name stop it with this So she's trying it's like she's trying to get them together, but then she's immediately going for Culver, like texting Culver, like we're going out after the Johnny, where are we going to meet? And she shows up to where they're going out and this starts making out with him. And this is the night that Rattini has said she's going

to tell Culver her feelings. Well, to me is be leaving her up. Sorry, but Tumi is also gassing up Brittany. She's like, what do you got to tell her? What do you feel? You've got to, you got to say it. I mean, Tumi, you know that he doesn't interested. Why are you setting up Brittany for this?

Because he's in there in the club with a bicycle helmet on, making it with Jordy. Who by the way, Jordy the previous night was topless with her brother in the hot tub and then she facetimes her dad while topless with her brother. Yes, and the dance like, well, look at you two, like fuck yeah dad. And then she's like flashing her brother and like making crotch grabs at herself, like yeah, like lifting her dresser. Oh, I mean, whatever it is. I mean, everyone's like freaking out about it.

Like, what the hell is going on with those two? Yeah, but I don't think that Tumi's really gassing her. I think she's just saying, like, if you like him, talk to him because all Pratini does is walk around the boat like, does he like me? Does he? I think he likes me and we were going on a van together. He said he wants to take me home to the horse farm,

which is something Colver did, you know. He's not overly leading her on, but he is very like, you should come to the farm. I mean, my family had, because I bring girls home sometimes and they always like it. She's like, oh my God, he has to be the worst part. And then she's looking online for a van

that they could take together and listen, the cast of Stranger Vans, Stranger Things would look at this van and be like, that is old. That is a beat down van, okay. Yeah, I mean, Culver is like a good old boy. He really is. And he's like obsessed with his parents. He's like, oh my mom, Kim,

she just cooks me food all the time. Oh my dad's calling. He doesn't need the best. Basically, Culver is like, he's off his game right now. He's sad. He took breakfast after 45 minutes after starting a shift. Now it's like, really, Culver, you were like, I mean, you weren't great, but you were, you were pretty good most season. Now, you're going to follow part two. Like, is there anyone on this boat that can do their job? I just want to know, aside from Jimmy. Well, Culver has looked at, like they keep saying Culver was the best deck amp. Well, yeah, but compare him to the other one. Yeah. And also, it's just because he's not getting

called out on shit. If he was getting called out as much as everybody else He would not be the best. Yeah, it's just he's been given the hot guy pass the whole time. Oh my god So what else happened in this? I said, oh my god like I had something else, but I forgot what it was So let's see here Colver Well, that makes me nuts. He seems like a nice guy and stuff But he makes me nuts's he seems like a nice guy and stuff, but he makes me that's because he says something like this. I'm about to sneak up on the kitchen food and get me some egg whites. Yeah, that's right. Chef Kim would give me egg whites. It's my mom, but chef Kim got him is chef him and Nate just goes, great. That's great.

This this charter also had one of those very sad below deck parties where they're like, let's have like a white party. And so basically Benny gets, he's like, Benny reveals that he's DJ James Kennedy and he's like, actually, I used to go down to St. Martin and I used to DJ. So I brought my DJ equipment on the boat. I'm like, why did you bring your DJ equipment on the yacht? So he starts playing. He's like, oh, DJ Lazy Susan and it's like six people dancing around a dinner table to Benny playing house music probably.

I was just like, oh, I always just get so sad whenever they do these dance parties. Yeah, Benny, I'm not sure about his DJing and St. Morton. Okay, I had a friend who used to go work on a hippie commune there every summer. And I have a feeling it was something like that where he's just pressing play on his iPhone like when they let him even hold it. And he's calling himself a DJ.

I just, I'm not buying it, sorry. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's just, I feel like whenever you see those things where it's like, there's like two things that look like turntables, but they're actually not turntables at all. I'm like, this is just a fancy thing where you press play. That's all this is. Yeah. He's just pressing play and then he's doing that thing where he's just puts his hands in the air and jumps. Yeah. Over and over again. Like we all know, we all get it.

We see it, you know. Oh, there's also some drama because some other boat lost their tender somehow. So it's like, there's a tender. There's a, that we have to pick up the tent. We found your tender. We're going to do a drive by it, which then led to Jamie's favorite thing,

which is, guys, this is very dangerous. Okay, you can't do that. don't sound that it's very dangerous okay there's a tender coming but be careful it's a dangerous tender. Ginger is a very dangerous take it from me he used to be a cop you could die your foot could get caught in a rope you could slip and fall someone could have a nail gun on the boat over trying to put a picture in, but it goes through the wall and into your head. A lot could happen on this. Trust me, I'm a police officer. By the way, I might be a pilot after this of helicopters, because there were a lot of boats that have helicopters land on them,

so I could land the helicopter on the boat and then keep people safe on the helicopter and the boat. Many different ways I can go in my life. And that way, once I then had a ride a helicopter, when people call me bitch, I could then say, do you know that I learned how to ride a helicopter and you're going to call me bitch? I didn't think so. That's where the way doing it. And he's always wearing that like, he's always wearing that like, it's never explained, but like whenever it comes time to dock or something, he suddenly has this weird harness on.

And I'm like, why are you wearing that harness? It's dangerous. Go away, oh, honest. When you're standing on the back of the boat. He's always ready to jump in the what? Wasn't he, didn't have to jump in for something well there's one to everybody eat Dying drool. There was what there were like people who were swimming and they like went around a rock formation You can see them so we took off his shirt and jumped in the water and everyone's like um is in the whole point of these

Shirts is that they wickway water you're they're supposed to swim in them But he's like go to take off me shit and save the people who are around the corner. Okay. Oh gosh, so this episode basically ends with Brittini getting her heart broken because she sees Culver making out with Jordy. And it is a funny visual with him in that stupid disco helmet.

Yeah, well, and he's a disco helmet, and he's also bringing like an outdoor jacket or something. He's like, he's like wearing like a CB jacket and those disco helmet and Jordy, and she's got like, she got her hat backwards. She's like, hey, what's going on? Like, we shouldn't bake out. And he goes, I think that'd be a great idea.

Yeah, let that be great. Let's do that. Like, wow, the chemistry's off the charts. But, you know, there's so many below decks on the air. One time I can't, you know? Like, there was a line drawn in the sand. I kind of wish we'd record, we'd recapped this one because it's just been, it's been so much fun, but my God, slow down on the below dex people, okay? Let us enjoy it, don't pound into the ground, people cleaning too much, okay?

Stop. Like give us a chance to breathe over here, but that is a really good show, and I'm glad I watched the season. I was cracking up the whole time. I'm glad you watched it too. And I do hope, I think it would be great if Tumi were recruited to be the head stew on Med.

Because I think actually having Asha as the chief stew on Polodec down under was a really smart decision because everyone loves Asha. And like, I mean, I always am like tickled every time she does like an Asha thing. I think on this episode, to me was like, do you mind if I go down and do some laundry?

And she goes, I love that. And every time she does that, I just some crack up. Or there's one part where someone was like, hey, can you want this soda? Oh, yeah. Yeah, she really, she's over the top with everything. So I was like, wow, can I hold the door open for you?

Oh, that is so sweet. That is so sweet. So I think that like, you know, below deck and below deck Med have had a really hard time filling Hannah and Kate's shoes. And I think what they should do is recruit popular people by people that we love. So I think Tumy would be great on med, especially because she does the good table scapes. I still don't know who can help regular below deck. But I think like they should do like the summer house thing that they're doing

we're cross-pollinating, like cross- cross pollinate amongst your franchises a little bit more. And because without a good chiefs, do like the show really comes down to the chiefs, do I think like the captain and the chiefs, do. Yeah, well, it's the three. Well, it's the chef, the captain, the stew and the boasting, you know, and I think on this one, it's working because they're all such characters, you know, Jamie's an ass, but he's very entertaining. I mean, watching that guy almost go into tears over being called bitch was hilarious.

And Aisha's whole like, wow, the chef can cool-keyed livers that some big dick energy. Yeah, it is good. And I think I'm selling y'all. I mean, I think the daisy, Gary, Captain Glendon, and I think it was smart they brought back Colin, because I think actually Colin, as much as we make fun of that known pays attention to Colin, he is like a grounding force that's like really good

on the show, and I think the four of them are so good on below deck sailing, y'all. I just want the other two, Med and regular to like find their balance again. Yeah, agreed. So we'll see everybody, but super fun show. Glad we got a chance to watch that. Yeah, well both. And everyone, thank you so much for being here and for listening. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the show. Just go on to our social media. We're at watch for crap and it's on Instagram or at what crap and it's on Twitter and you can, you

know, tell us what you think as well. We'd love to hear from you guys. And if you hear this in time, we are doing take a seat tonight and that's on Spotify live at 10 o'clock on the East Coast. If you miss it, it's on the, it's like on Spotify on demand. So just like check it out there. But we hope you join us because it's always so fun. So hope to see you, or at least on the next episode. Until then, we'll talk to you later. Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.

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