Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Ben There, Done That

Episode Date: August 27, 2019

Chef Ben makes his triumphant return to "Below Deck Med," and not a moment too soon. A pack of cougars have descended on the boat, and they're ready for some hot risotto and even hotter yachties. Unfortunately it's not all smooth sailing when a laundry mishap, a temperamental burner, and an errant tender threaten to undermine the entire charter. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay? Kristy Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay.

Christy, why were you dawardy? Jamie, she has no last name-y. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Cassie Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Megan the Slayer Taylor.

Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high-low Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird Ain't no thing like Allison King Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang He makes us squeeery cheaties Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good Hannah, God I love that banana Anderson!

Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez Hava Nila Weber! Lisa Walland, now that's what I call wallentainment. The Bay Area Betches, Betches! And our super premium Patreon subscribers! Give them hell, Miss Noel! Lulu Simon, Sue, Sue, Studio! Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready!

One day your Rachel's in, and the next day your out! Yes we can, with Howley, Carolyn and Anne! Nancy, Susan, Desisto. The Grand, The Grand Master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon, out of a cabin, Anthony. Incredible, edible Matthewsisters. And...

Mina, Kuchikuchi, Kuchikuchi. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens What happens, what happens, what happens, what happens Watch what happens, watch what happens, who cares what happens when you're in trouble. It's for when you don't reach a man. You can't spot how things like this so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch for Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.

I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. It's Cartoon on YouTube. Go check it out, subscribe. And while you're in that mood to subscribe to things, I have to do a hit a button on Rose Pricks. It's a bachelor roast podcast that Ronnie Caram, co-hosts, hey Ronnie, what's going on? Hi, man, what's your name, baby? Oh, you know, just dipping into Tuesday

as I am want to do. Oh yeah. Tuesday is a big day for us today because not only are we recapping below deck med, which I love, we're doing our monthly hangout tonight at 5.30 Pacific time. It's a little different since Google got rid of Google Hangouts. So we're going to do it through Discord since we have this whole Discord server set up.

If you are, if you already support us on the Hangout level, don't worry, you have access to the Discord and we're going to try to figure out how to get video involved with whatever. Just bear with us, show up and it'll be fun. So that's going to be happening tonight at 530 Pacific. And of course, we also are going on the road. Here are some cities that we're going to between now and January. Charlotte, North Carolina. Nashville, Atlanta, Carbureau, Richmond, Virginia, Tampa, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis,

Two Shows in Chicago, Two Shows in New York. There's like, by the way, like, five tickets left for New York. So better jump on that. St. Louis, Philadelphia, Seattle, and Houston. We have some more cities to announce very soon. We're soups excited. Tickets are at watchworkwappens.com.

That's also where you can find merchandise and links all over our social media and to our Patreon. It's fun, fun, times. We hope to see you at the show because we have a great time. Don't worry about coming solo. You'll make friends. Yeah, also this your last week to get our t-shirts of the moment. They are resting, uh, sorry, resting honey face and season one cameo and, uh, demoted to friend of so you can go get those over. You can find links on our watch of crap and calm sites. And we're also both on cameos. So if you guys want cameos for someone's birthday or et cetera, just search us both on cameo. And today it's time for below. Dig.

Midditorini now. And you want to talk about a cameo. How about a cameo if someone's showing their hat. Hey, it's Colin. So the big cliffhanger from last week was that June had to be basically laid off because her position has become redundant and Colin feels like it's not right because he doesn't really have a passion for yachting. He has a passion for ferry driving and it's not fair that June should need to go home when she has a passion and she's younger where where he's at the crusty old age of thirty and you know doesn't have a future on on a yacht you know what i'm passionate for

mums was on your and out of here so he goes uh... he goes up to speak with captain sandy on the bridge and she's like hey how are you and he's like can we, how are ya? And he's like, can we talk? I heard about June and... Oh, I don't know.

Passive for fashion. I mean, June, she's young. I mean, she's like 24. And I'm an old thing at that 30. And she has a passion for yachting. And I don't have that passion. I don't have to be true to myself. That's good, Kylie. Be true to yourself. We're proud of you no matter what you do.

And she's like, oh, Colin, you're an amazing human being. Did you would step aside to let someone follow their career? You are an asset. And by that, I mean, asset. Okay. You don't I'm gonna put some ranzino in a freezer bag and say here take this to your next job interview and I guarantee hired on this bat Yeah, guess what we don't need on deck while we're training the parking the time you little slips Which I just did miraculously, okay? Someone who doesn't answer their radio you did shit get back to work Okay, go organize your shoes and feel better Kalan you're an amazing human being here. Let me give you a little shoulder rub that's also gonna push you out of my office.

Okay, a little shoulder rub feels good, huh, feels good, and the door is closing. And it's closing, and this is how it feels to get a walk and go way hug. My arms are around you. Okay, keep walking. Okay, now you're dragging my feet and my feet are getting dirty.

Okay, okay, I'm gonna let go. Gotta count that goal view, you're such an ass-ass. So then downstairs, he's just telling June, what Colin has volunteered to do. And of course, June starts to cry because she's so touched by it. She's like, he's such a good guy. I mean, I would never like let him leave. Obviously,

obviously, but he's such a good guy. Don't think of him romantically in any way. Such a good guy. I know the way she's talking is so nice, but I'm like, oh, poor Colin's not going to get laid by two. Not happening. Wow, he is like a brother to me. That is so nice. Can't wait to go have some platonic friendship time with him. Say thank you. Yeah. So then Joao and Colin are talking and Joao's like, I'm crying right now. Look at me. I am so touched Colin. I am so touched. I'm so touched. And going like, well, she talked me out of it. She said she needed me, but I feel terrible. Aaaaaah. Yeah.

So now it's three hours before the charter and Hannah's waking up, Travis and everything. And there is going to be some rearrangement of the bunks because since the new chef is a male, whoever it might be, so Hannah's going to move Aisha into Jack's room and Travis has to move out of Jack's room to be with the new male chef. So that's like sad for the guys and stuff. Yeah, I mean, it's like it's not normal to mix genders in the bunks, but on me, this speeding up the relationship or I'm crashing it.

And then she gives us evil little smile. Like, on a, we're going to enjoy it and then she gives us evil little smile like honey we're gonna enjoy it in a mess what yeah it's gonna be fun to shit no matter what happens yeah so uh June goes to talk to college think you're so sweet and so flinch I need nice to sing anyone's who are done for me And she's crying and she's like, I guess my big regret is that when I came in, I just, I didn't really open myself up and let people see who I am. I'm like, no, you didn't open up your ears and answer your radio, that's the biggest problem. That's the biggest problem.

Yeah, but I love Jean, like she's so nice. And I also love a Bravo star who will just down a cake right in front of the camera, you know? Yeah, I had no problems with June. I think there have been far worse, you know, stews on the show. But like, I just, I like that she thinks that like if she had opened up more that she would, she would have stayed on the boat. It's like, no, June, it really was sort of like out of your control. Like, you were just lowest on the toad and pull. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry, June.

Uh, she's like, come on the toad and pull sorry. Yeah, sorry June She's like come on do anything for your number. Oh hog your number But I pay you on the shoulder your number. Bye Do you want to be my wingman when I go out and try to like pick up guys? Okay, did I just get friend zone? Oh No, you didn't just get friend zone that happened actually a few days ago So so then Collins like walking through the boat and like walks by Hannah who's just like smiling You're like just she's like June June Hannah. Oh, that's right more like no one no one Hannah cuz you're going now Sorry, so I was both thing with like a good honey eyes

gone now, sorry. So, I was full of things with like good honey eyes, you know. Like, oh, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. It's like she just earned three tickets to Prague and like a pack of cigarettes for free. So, Colin's like, don't smile like that. She's like, oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be happy. It's just a natural reaction when someone who's a terrible

worker is no longer working with you. You know what I'm saying, honey? I just wanted to keep you here. Listen, I really feel more comfortable with you not getting fucked on the boat than you not getting fucked off the boat. That's all, honey. That's all, honey. Honey. So then Hannah and the girls are attacking Asia and Anastasia and H just like Yeah, they're talking about the fact

That could have been the whole conversation by the way just sort of just having a big like arching And they're like okay great talk, but but um she's talking talking about how she's been holding out on sex with Jack because she's really waiting for there to be an emotional connection before they could do it. And she's like, otherwise, it would just be a penis moving into the vagina and I can use my fingers for that. Actually, only half, ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo So then meeting time and the captain's like so we're getting a new chef Hopefully he won't be arriving on a USS sorry vessel Okay, I hear he has very spiky hair so trying not to touch it because we can't have any more injuries That goes for you Colin Mr. Future Broken leg

touch it because we can't have any more injuries that goes for you, Colin, Mr. Future Broken Leg. Oh, no, I'm laughing. That was just a reflexive laugh. I didn't mean to be happy. Laughing at Sandy. So Jack's like, where's the cake girl? No, she laughs. And he's like, I didn't even, we'll see you later. Can't you only in stuff? Yeah. So then Jack and Travis are having a moment where they're saying goodbye in their rooms and they're like, well, see ya, see ya, see ya, cock on another room some other time then bro, like yeah, bye bye, they're all like at first I thought it was like a funny little scene where they're saying goodbye but then it turns out Travis really is like super bummed and you know he's going to be like all simple about it and then complaining and then he's going to get drunk and then he he's gonna like yell at him about it for breaking up the

bros you know that's gonna come next episode yeah well so sad they're so cute and I love their like make it nice and their little cabin but it's but I can smell their cabin and that like works against the cuteness well that's a good thing about TV shows Is that you just have to smell it? But that's what I'm saying is that it's like, it's on TV and I can smell it. So it's like, that's that potent. Okay, now I'm for it.

You just seems to remind me immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it came through the TV. So Jeff is coming down the walk and Hannah sees him out the window because I'll call that face. Do you ever see something that looks like it's from the dark crystal, but it's actually a chef? It's the main costume handsome pop-up I've ever seen, and then you just hear. Hello lovelies. Oh lovelies. Ah maa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- up, but then I don't know what happened to her after that. She became like an internet food seller or something. I don't know, maybe season six of Love Island, which I just finished. By the way, I forgot to mention everyone. It's over. I made it through, and I loved

every second of it except for the last three episodes. And now you've got nine STDs. I do. And I'm listening to like weird emo music. Because you can get everything to the the TV you can smile through the TV you're giving your SDD through the TV Yeah, by the way a note having watched love Island UK a note for next season of blow-dike mid I think we need an Irish Stu like mora from love Island Like she was the best like I know you don't know who she is, but she says everything like oh Is that what you're think? What was I been saying?

I'm not a big star. Ma'am, why'd you say that Ma'am? Like we need that someone on the boat who's just like that, like Why'd you clean that? Why'd you put that in the laundry? You're not putting it in the laundry, you're seeing it? Why'd you think that dead thing over there, you're seeing that? You're supposed to see the dead thing, you know, putting the laundry?

So then comes on the boat and the captain's like, welcome. Listen, you're about to cook a lot of delicious food for you. Guess what I cooked for you hugs. Get over here. Nice. Oh, my moooow. He's like vaguely like Toya. Whoa. What? I shut up, damn. So yeah, so he's like, well, last time since you've seen me last, I've been catering and fought Lauderdale. Which by the way, crap and show, crap and show for Lauderdale.

I've been in the fight Lauderdale, I've been catering and spiking up my hair and getting extra baggy pants leaves. It's been great. I've been doing exclusive catering company. Man, no! No! I've been traveling the country cooking for all kinds of people.

Yeah. So Hannah's telling Aisha that she's worked with Ben before. I was just like, Hii's interesting. I hope you heard the honey, the silent honey between Hii's, and interesting. I hope you heard the silent accent

over will never buy me a cotton of cigarettes over what I've just said. Word to the wise, don't you ever say appetizer or entree in front of him? It's the second third main and spiky hair. And she's like, I'm talking, you didn't get a long bear with it. It's like, well, we go on. That's just sure. And then so we see her, we see Hannah's awkward flirting with Ben.

Oh, yes. Ben's awkward flirting with everybody, really. Ben always has some awkward flirt on the show. But she's like, it's after they go out, she's like, he'll like me, don't you? And he's like, I've decided yet. So Anastasia is giving Ben a tour of the galley and showing him how there's various burners

that have issues that some work some maybe work, you know things like that and then we we see Colin and Travis and Collins like talking to Travis about the new bunking situation. He's like, well the good thing is with moving in with your girlfriend after a month Is that nothing ever goes wrong? Hmm ever goes wrong. Ha! That was funny, Cal, and that was... They need you on SNL! That's for sure! They need you on SNL!

So the nation and Jack are talking, and he's like, well, never lived with a girl, I have not sex with. But I'm dying to have sex with her. I can't wait. And then we go to Anastasia, and, well, I guess we go to the meeting now, right? Yeah, let's just see the meeting. Yeah. This show is like a note for every little thing. Anastasia

walks up the stairs. And Tibi needs to remind her notes. I'll tell you that much. She's gotten into the Oreos again. I got to say, Antibi. know who's burners have been broken for a while aunt tibby you know aunt tibby moved in with her last boyfriend after their second date well it's probably stuck in tibby's basement plus his heart he was a swatta wanna cloak at long John's cell phones and let's just say the swatten long of it is no one seen him since so then the captain meeting he's like looks like we've got some high maintenance guests Laura calibracy cougar look what i think it was cougar not cougar but still scary oh still scary yeah this is uh the ex-wife of Freddy Krueger. It's Laura Calibre's D-Cruger

I mean I thought my ex was a nightmare turned out he really was one I got to sleep and I still see him there like oh god put those hands away Big I was like listen Freddy. We got to take you to the dermatologist He's like no, I don't want to go to the dermatologist. We get so many fights, so many fights. And he wouldn't take up that damn sweater. You know, I got him this awesome thing from BCBG. He wouldn't even touch it. So, yeah, Laura Calabrese Krueger. Now, this is how you know, she's going to be a dick. A self-described wine snob. Oh, fuck yourself, okay?

Yeah, enjoy that Boone's Farms, okay, and she's a philanthropist such a philanthropist that she's spending her money on a yacht trip Yeah, do you know how many starving children would die to be on this boat? Yeah So yeah, she's a philanthropist in wine snob and her best friend Samantha is gonna be her co-charter and then they're bringing six of their closest friends, which means they'll all be fighting by the end of it. Yeah, they're going to be ripping each other apart. And the entire group expects a cocktail in their hands at all time. Oh, God. Express some artini time. Yeah.

Yeah, you know it's going to be espresso martini time. No, it's bullet-deck made. We have to call it espresso. Express some artini. Yeah. So counterintuitive. You'd think in Europe it'd be more correct yeah and then it's like I'm nervous I've had it really easy up drawing

what did you say I thought he was saying for Do but I don't know where he was talking about he's like I've been cooking and I just fanatically read it down, okay, but now I'm gonna say it 30 times. Well, I'm only as good as our last service rabbit on this case our first service Jun Jun Hannah Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. So then provisions and he's like, do we have room for this? We need to get rid of all this styrofoam.

That's for sure. What is the point of this shirtless Putin poster here in the gallery? Do we need this? Box of pancake mix where this come from. So he's he tells Hannah he's going to need to keep out of Stasia for today. And she's like, I know he's got a lot going on, so I totally understand. But at the same time, he's one of those guys. If you give him an inch he'll take cigarettes

With me I mean I know he's got a lot going on but at the same time Hano So so now the the he's been is just like trying to figure out himself He's trying to get a sea legs. He's his dropping knives can't find salt He's just like a disaster in there. And then here come the guests. And there's Laura Calabrese Kruger saying, it's going to be the best weekend ever

an all-erred dressable survive. Yeah. And one of the girls is like, oh, there are some cute ones. Look at that. Yeah, there's some cute ones. Let's do it. There was one woman who was dressed in like a green pearl, like a pearl green, whatever you're gonna call it, dressed.

She sort of looked like a faux lienne lock-in. And I was like, oh, she is gonna be a problem. I just sensed it. Although actually she did turn out to be so much for problems. So there, an insight into my mind, and my expectations, and how they do not. And then one girl, they're doing shots, and some take-up, and some take champagne. for problems so there. And insight into my mind and my expectations and how they do not. And then one girl they're doing shots and some take up and some take champagne and one girl is like, I'm the bad girl. It's like, oh god. This group of ladies is just going to go

around labeling themselves the whole time. I'm a self-described one snob. I'm a bad girl. It felt like a bunch of women who like on any given night they're just like at home watching just TV and have decided that they're gonna like pull together money to go on below deck and they're just gonna like act like the cougars that they see on TV. Like okay, we can do this, let's do it, let's try it, let's be cougars. We'll just say stuff and it'll be awesome. Yeah. Girls trap. So Their luggage gets loaded and then we get the tour and all that cars worth of luggage by the way

Yeah, they've got two cars full of luggage for three days and Collins like wow. I'm I'm into coolger town Okay, hopefully it's a chance for me to forget all the crazy methods been going on Hi, okay, just friends I already got a friendship bracelet for three of them. So Oh, yeah, no, I'm actually from the United States. I'm not Canadian or Australian I'm just putting that out there. No one's actually asked me, but I'm just gonna put that out there in case I'm in one Some start with me. So putting that out there. No one's actually asking me, but I'm just gonna put that out there in case someone wants to start with me.

So, um, Ben is like asking how the season's going so far, which I know what's funny about this show is like, I know he's talking about the yachting season, but whenever people say that, I feel like they're actually just being met and asking how the show is going. So, how is your last episode? Yeah, did it go well. Okay, great, great. How was your last episode? Yeah, did it go well. Okay, great great Yeah, and she's like well, yeah must be really hard for you not to date and he's like Hello, it's what definitely blonde. I don't really have time for mine You should have to dock for that left job every once in a while but at least I know exactly what I'm getting with her Unlike at your mama who's just been staring at me in that kitchen for an hour. Wow, ever since I got here, I feel like I got hit by a train. It just cuts the Hannah.

She's just smiling just so happy. Like you got hit by the Honelli train. So, so like there's a lot, there's all sorts of rustiness happening. Ben's rusty anesthesia feels rusty as ther'd stew and, uh, and also the guests are just like, just rusty in general. And so they are like checking out Travis. They're just checking out everyone except for Colin. Like, wow, he's hot.

Howdy, look at that ass. Uh, yeah, and it does go to show you that it's an attitude. I think Collie's so cute. But he's probably like, I'm allergic to your perfume. Could you stand back to us a little bit? I'm sorry, the fabric of your halter top. Please giving me a rash on my forearm. So I've got to be careful because I don't

want to confuse it with lime disease. So all the ladies go out to the bridge to talk to the captain and she's like oh look at this a bunch of ladies God, I love girl and she's just starts punching the air with both her fists, you know, oh yeah party girls Yeah And Hannah is like She's a little stressed because she doesn't want the rival to Ben to like fuck up her relationship with Sandy and the stews because she's been working so hard honey on Repairing all those relationships and the last thing she needs is for Ben to come in and we wouldn't eat it all and he's totally going to you Yeah, that's what that means. No, he's totally going to you. She's so psychic

so Guess what the ladies are doing. They're going, oh, who's that? I candy. What a hot. Wow, that I can't do. Ooh, he's hot. Is he masturbating on the anchor? Wow, hot.

Now he's talking about Zimbabwe to his giz. Wow. Oh, he just actually spelled out Zimbabwe with his giz. Wow, hot. It's like, it's silly surely you don't mean Joao. I'm like, oh, God, well, Joao, yeah. And then one of their dresses flies up. And I'm like, we're here, bud.

Good. Sandra, yes, Sandra, yes. And just like, wow. They keep cutting back to these scenes have been in Anastasia. And he's like, do we have chili oil, garlic oil, curry paste, pepper, salt, plastic wrap, ziploc, paperware, plates. Oh my God, he's gonna be a pleasure.

But then meanwhile, we see there's like a jellyfish in the water, and just like, the jellyfish to me is like the personification of Hannah's honey face, you know, because the jellyfish is basically like, ah, you know, it's like the fish equivalent of that. I've like just going honey and just floating along and but like if you get too close to it It's gonna sting you real bad. Yeah, and then I think if you look to the jellyfish really close They've got to have some kind of energy quivering around it because Hannah's honey face to me or honey eyes You know where the eyes like just kind of squint but they're still big and they kind of pulse like, I'll kill you, huh, my yeah. And Jack sees the jellyfish and he says the thing that I

think most men think when they see a jellyfish, she goes, imagine that wrapped around your dick. So I was like, what do you have to imagine? It's literally wrapped around my dick right at game. It hurts but it turns me on more Have you ever fucked a Portuguese man of war it does not mean to your homosexual So So now basically Anastasia's annoyed because she was really excited to be a third stew and she stuck in the galley Essentially being a sous chef because Ben is like it's not that she's just like helping him find what the cookie pan is It's like it's not that she's just like helping him find where the cookie pan is it's like

She's making Dressings and top of knob and things like that Yeah, and Hannah's getting annoyed because she literally has not had anesthesia All to herself this entire season. She always gets yanked away from her Yeah, and she's like, I'll give him this one ton. And that's it. So then the girls are now coming onto Jack. And one of them's like, oh my god, man, fun. Not that much in the name. And he's like, jock, she goes, where are you from, jock? Yeah. And they're like, what sort of not is that? He's like, it's a glue of hitch. He's just wanna get hitched with me. See what I'm doing?

You said hitch, slice that hitch, but I use it in a different context. Hitch. I don't even care what you say, just keep talking, Chuck. You're a bottom of fun, you're at the laugh. And he's like, you've been drinking, eh?

I'm not complaining. At this point you're at the laugh. And he's like, uh, you've been drinking a, I'm not complaining. At this point, then I also discovered my favorite member of this group. There's this one lady, they're all like, you know, they're all classic cougars. They're all like these, you know, like sort of like tall, beautiful cougar women. And then there's like one woman who is like the one that they bring along. That's not like them, you know. Yeah, she's basically like Rachel Dratch in a Calverture's wig, and she's just in like this crazy blue,

and by the way, I love Rachel Dratch, but she's in this blue and white striped bathing suit with like a weird like frilly, almost like flower accent thing on one shoulder. She's just, the point is this. She's just awkward and clearly is cut from a different cloth from the other women and she's like, hi. I'm Kathy. She's like, there's no way one of us won't be making out with one of them by the 10 days of my go. No, like, she's like, oh, Kathy. Sure. Kathy. So, Jowell is talking to us and They're like, Sarah Caffey. Sure. It's her Caffey.

So, Jowaw is talking to us and he's like, well, look at this. Jack is working. Who would have guessed? Conan is staying and Travis is stepping up to do his job. What could possibly go wrong? Oh! God damn jellyfish cock juggling. I'm trying to decide between which jellyfish is going to be the one, and I've almost made my decision.

One of them will be my girlfriend and the other one is a cock-juggling-funder-cock. I've never seen so many jellyfish before in my life, not even in Zim, because we don't even have jellyfish in Zim. In Zim, in Zim, oh God, I just finished on the jellyfish. This jellyfish everywhere, bro. When you get stung, someone has to pee on the guests, and I don't know how that's gonna go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So the guests are sitting down for lunch and Ben plates up some salmon sashimi, which looks Amazing and then like some shrimp with yellow curry which looks even more amazing and then some Indian inspired airline chicken Which I thought the women were gonna be like this is from an airline

But I'm dumb. What is airline chicken? It sounds gross to me. It's like a style of making chicken I think it's like the I forget I remember looking up on steam. It's not steamed. It's like I Don't think it seemed I think it's just that I think it's the cut. I think it's the way it's cut airline chicken grows It up. Yeah, so he's like the first meal Sustained otherwise they'll be scraping on it. We made a whole wheeeeee And so the girls are like oh my god. How's he gonna even top this meal? Oh my god this meal totally tried to make out with me Yeah, oh my god. This meal's hot this meal's giving me an orgasm. Oh my god. I want to marry this

I want to have like sexist meal like yeah, I want to put this meal my vagina You ruined it again, Kathy. So then we get one of the ladies like, hey honey, honey, honey, can I get something steamed? That would be great. And it's just like, sure, I'll get them steamed for you. I'm just gonna hand them over to the chef there's two totally trustworthy. Nothing can go wrong. Look at possibly go wrong. You know what I like to get steamed? My finger after I think I got my bum. So she tells Jack, she's like,

I'm gonna take an apple, so be quiet if you come into our room. And he's like, oh really? You're gonna be sleeping and I'll have a wank and you'll wake up. He's like, oh, romance. It's like a hallmark card. I know, truly.

So then the women are asking benefit single. And you know, they're like, I'm like, what? Fresh meat, band. This was so hot. This was wonderful. Yeah, I'll put it in my mouth. Hey, Ben, if you don't like dinner, we're gonna get a spanking or just want to spanking now. Do you want it now? Then he want it later then because spank you can I'm gonna fuck you Ben Yeah, Kathy's in the corner like I'm gonna fuck you by the end of the day Ben took whoa Kathy Take it down a notch Kathy take it down. I'm wishing I invited her. Yeah

Take it down a notch Kathy take it down a musician of invite of her. Yeah And he's like the perfect mark for these ladies because he's he's only when he's like totally flattered He's like listen ladies. I just got off not ready to get off You almost sound like warrior when you do the bend laugh So yeah, so Travis is sad that he, uh, he's, he's like having a sad moment because he, he's like, I can't lift laugh my tits off as much as when I was with Jack. Plus, I like to sleep naked and so does Jack

and we've seen each other's cocks a lot and you're not a real friend until you've seen each other's cocks. Like the way I'm seeing, wait, is that Wileshawk on a jellyfish? Hahahaha O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O- I'm gonna slide down this like a slide down a dick. Yeah! And then from up above, what are the ladies guys? Well, one of you guys take long, long, the jub- Okay. The Lala. Be nice to Lala. Lala, let's go on the Jutsky. Mm.

I've never wanted to see some people go down a slide ever before my life. Go right into that pool of jellyfish. Yeah. So then Hannah guess what? This is going to be a huge shock to everybody. Hannah guess, would you like another? So there's two espresso montinis, a three. Looks soccer.

Do you want to get another one for Lola for when she gets back from a jet ski? Lola. How about you, Kathy? You want some more fish, John? So then we cut to Anna's ship putting the primaries clothes in the dryer. Yeah, and they like they like darken the screen and have like a highlighted patch over the clothes so you can see them going from like Table into laundry. It's like Like the suspect has been found in security footage

So someone named Natalie, I'm not sure which ones. This is where they're talking about Canadian check. Where are you from, Travis? Where are you from? He's like, I'm from Australia. He's like, but I've got a Canadian passport. He's like, oh my god. Oh my god, Canada, that's amazing.

We have such a connection with Canadians. Have you been skiing? I've never been to the snow. Oh my god. You're gonna have to come. It's amazing. I once broke my pelvis when I slipped on the ice Kathy stop it What I was trying to fuck someone Kathy you're ruining the vibe Someone oh Kathy you're me you're ruining the vibe So then they said they set up golf for them on back and

Like a little putting green and wait one of other ladies is like I've never had a moving hole except my boyfriend Why did they do something you did anal you did anal Kathy Kathy come on you're ruining all we need come on just because I'm making any windows doesn't mean I don't need silence I'm trying to hit the ball Stick the butter in the hole stick it grease it in and stick it in Kathy You know who I want to fuck someday a caddy Fine, but like like fine And the ladies are cheering at golf and one of us like pretend the chance has been spores

It's just balls it's head You know what I did to my axis balls. I took some mayonnaise and I Sm get it on there and then I slapped it and I got mail on my hand. I said no next time not going to do the mail part. I don't need all that. You want to make it so crows? So I was just like, well, this is a proper girl's trip. Smash those balls in Natalie. And then actually the cool girls, I think they do take a photo of Collins ass, right?

I think so. I was just shaking my head so hard. I don't think I could see what was on the TV. It's like, oh, no, Kathy. And then then Asia and Jack are in bed together making out and then I think that she's giving him a hand job. That's how it looked to me. You're usually the expert on the sheet movement sciences. What was the question? Was Aisha giving Jack a hand job? Oh God. You know what? I think that I thought that he was giving her a hand job. Oh In the actual sex in the bug. You know what I mean the most awkward part was that like while one of them was

Giving something with fingers the other we all have something like Is this the bathroom because I got a shit The only person that could work on is Aisha So then we get to see the great the great clothes drama Aisha comes into the laundry and she's like Did you steam these things? And she's like, I couldn't really remember which ones were the best we've seen. So I just washed them. Which I was like, so what happened to you?

What happened? What happened to perfection? Where did what? She's like unraveled now. She's like unmoored. I know. I would it would be totally on a stage. If she was like, oh my god, I didn't understand. I misunderstood you, but just to was like oh my god I didn't understand I misunderstood you but just to be like oh I didn't remember so I just did whatever the fuck I wanted shock it oh and asia goes If you forgot what you've instructed to do Was warships You should be treated like the fun is true in the world.

Like these are like Orange County cutouts. Okay. Let's not over-throw my time. I'm sorry that that forever 21 tank top got washed and sexeemed. Yeah. I'm sorry they ruined that forever. Not 21 anymore. Yeah. I'm sorry that like Giovanni jumper was lost a few sequins in the wash. Sorry that go-round outfit didn't hold up. Sorry that she by Shirei Kamasal experienced some shrinkage. You got baseballs? So Colin and Travis are're talking and calling like whoa This is like a bachelor party without Tom Hank starring in a god. What a film

Starts imitating all the ladies. He's so funny. He's like he fuck yix and that little orey ran away with Put that dress on and look good you deserve it and they cut to the lady like oh, yeah You deserve it your And they cut to the lady. It's like, oh yeah, you deserve it. Your husband's a big. Yeah, your husband's a big, shmeggy pie, big, shmeg pie. They're called Kathy. Kathy.

Yeah, husband's like, he's like a big, posthiled infection that you think you're figuring and you say, why did I do this? And then you lick your finger and you're like, why do I keep doing this, Kathy? it's like you're not really getting it. So the captain sees the main like I think it's the main lady and she's like you're doing okay they're walking around to you lady girl power lady check well they were gonna like stand my dress for me and she's oh I'll go down and check uh oh that's not your dress is it. Hey is that rumpled pile of uh of fabric's not your dress, is it? Hey, is that rumpled pile of fabric?

Is that your dress? One of that has, like, tattered with holes and looks like it fits a doll from American Girl Places. Is that your dress? It's just like, No! It should just melt into a puddle. I'm melting! So, it puddle. I'm melting. So, it was like, I'm, you did not wash that.

That's dry clean only, it's dry clean only and it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, dry clean drama. Yeah, I'm in sick. Oh, it's okay. Thank you guys. It's like two weeks of leading up to this moment of like, oh my god, Anastasia, wash the thing that needs to be steamed and she's like, yeah, it's fine. Um, and so then, bitch, Ben, bitch, bitch, Ben isn't getting pissed because of course the

burner doesn't work, which I think they'll only listen to Ben because he screams and yells, you know, when his Anna stage, they're like, uh, maybe it's just Anastasia not working it right? Yeah, it's like, that's it. It only works if it feels like working. That is it. This is why I tend to believe you're like this is not necessarily difficult. They need to be replaced. That's it. Send them a bill. Yeah. I mean, he's right. So yeah. So then like downstairs and like that

like the placement place where they start sort of the toys. Colin just sneezes and he's like, huh? Woo! They're like, whoa Colin. Cachow! He's always been a loud sneeze, whatever. He was a kid with a call. Sneezey. Like, Sneezey does it. Sneezey does it. Remember that, Colin? Remember that? Don't be friend on to me. So, so, Hannah checks on Ben, saying, Harry, Dulling, he's like, you said 830, right? Let's be clear, 10 or 830, do not rush them. I don't have another slow thing. No, no, no, no. I knew a problem. I'll slow them down.

Ladies, if you'd like to come up to dinner, it's an emergency. I mean, eat right now at this very second. Great. Is that what you meant, Ben? And yeah, the lady's saying, we're hungry. We need food. Yeah, when I get hungry, I just fart everyone. Guess what? This entire place smells like sulfur. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? B. So, Jack's like, hey, buddy, why are you not smiling there? Traffits are like, I'm pissed, and's like, hey buddy, why are you not smiling there? Travis is like, unpissed. And he goes, all right then, and walks away.

It's a little bit. So then Ben sees on the camera on the TV, the monitor, that the ladies are sitting and he's not ready. And he's like, this part of the phrase, I'm not letting it off. Yeah, things are just to get like tense in the kitchen. It's 8.37, there's a P puree happening the women are getting hangry Hannah's trying to stall by doing a whole wine thing, etc. etc. and

The women by the way are so drunk and they're just like babbling on one woman's like I'm pre-map puzzle and I'm fucking Honey right now just honey all the time right now. Just party all the time. Telling Jenny like Jenny, you just fucked your husband and my air people in the palms. I need to. And it's so funny or they just are just like, honey all the time and drunk and it just like, what I wouldn't give for like a sexy, like Dylan McDermott to come and steal

me a ways. My man, I present tuna sashimi with wasabi puree and a sexy, like Dylan McDermott to comment steal me away. My name is Hannah presents Tunis Sashimi with wasabi puree and a fresh grail egg on top. And Kathy's like, look, my vagina. Kathy, we were just getting ready to eat. Wow, I'm just stating a fact. So Anna stage that goes to clean cabins and she's like, oh my God, how do you keep the door open? How do you turn all the lights in here?

What's a bed? I'm like, it's because you've tasted Bala. Exactly. It's like when you go off a diet and then try to go back on it and you just can't. Hi, welcome to my life. Yeah, she went on a stew diet. I was like bred from Burger King, that's what I want.

I want thinking about right now during this recap. So now the Cougars are just like all talking about their exes. So when it's like my husband had 15 girlfriends. Let me tell you, he had 15 girlfriends, all right. And then Travis comes up again, and they're like, friends. Alright. And then Travis comes up again. Like, he's Canadian. So a bunch of plates come down. And because they're kind of gross. I mean, like you have to be

really fancy to want to rock quail egg on some sushi. You know, exactly. It's not really meant for this woman. Yeah. So maybe he didn't notice their orange county, you know, cutouts or whatever, but he goes, Oh, does some of them not eat it? Did some of them not eat it? Well, you know, I don't think they had a reason, particularly. Maybe they just didn't like raw egg or raw fish or raw egg on raw fish. Also, it lady names Kathy gift comparing it to Stephen,ovagina. So that's something. Yeah, there's a lady up there named Kathy. You kept on saying that she calls Krim Roulet, Krim Mive a Jaina.

We don't know what it is, but everyone's throwing up, right? Afterwards. So that might have impacted their designer to have your raw egg on raw fish. I'm rather the bout sink. and then eat all the food. I was like give it time. Okay. I'd rather the Bout sink than have Kathy talk about what's in her vagina any longer. So Travis is like how old is Natalie the platinum blonde and Collins like they're all at

least 40. He's like, oh, she's fucking old. Oh, she told me I could dox it for her any day. at least 40 he's like oh she's fucking hold on oh She told me I could uh docks it for her any day so yeah, I think we're I think we're gonna along pretty well Then upstairs the ladies are like you know you'd be fun to just have a lady palace Well my husband's dad. I mean when he's dead that fucker. I'm so fucking fabulous and wealthy. I don't give up I'm all for that as long as I get my own toilet because let me tell you something. Sometimes when I take a shit, it just clears out the entire wing of a room of a- Oh, gaff me.

Why, you just ruined the lady palace, Kathy? Why? I need that, my amende. You're so wrong. Well, I hope that lady's husband isn't gonna watch this show that he probably paid for her to go on. I can't wait for him to die. But when my husband's dead, I'm going to be so fabulous and wealthy I don't give a fuck. So good. I'm loving these ladies more every scene. So then Ben is still freaking out about the burners and he's like, no, why not have the other

chefs walked off? They're making fun of me, and Travis is like, what's the matter? You don't have a pancake box around here. You can use. Yeah. And they're like telling Ben about Meala. They're like, well, she was nice, except for the things that she said.

And he's like, well, what's wrong with what she said? And it goes, well, she was him, if it began to put in support. Yeah, it's a little sputin' and bangers. See, that was putin Putin as gay, right? And then upstairs we have like, Vakelyan going, she doesn't have a kid. She doesn't have a kid.

She doesn't have a kid. I mean, we only have each other and Kathy. He he he. I don't have a kid. But you know what I do have I Have an oversized pig in the backyard that I feed You know what I got a vagina that sometimes he on's Kathy Jesus some ice moment over here So Hannah Hannah brings up this risotto and while the ladies are going, I thought I was horny. She's the horny one. Am I right? Am I right?

Well, I was married. You should have seen our house. It was the second. Yeah, we know I had an amazing home with Ron. Ron, he had had we had a great home. But you know what? One time he barfed on top of me, you know, a bed. And I said, you know what, we got to leave this house. Kathy, we don't, we don't need to hear about that. So then they're just yammering and they're wasted. And one of them's like, it's this cold. The captain's like cold. Oh, no, it's not hot reverse. reverse. hunts reverse hunts reverse hunts by the way She takes and by the way when when Sandy just a little context on that Sandy was like how's dinner? And she goes it's amazing. Oh wait, I haven't tried it yet

And then she takes a bite and says oh, it's cold because she was talking instead of eating and so her food cooled down Yeah, yeah totally they let it get cold And so Ben's like, that is fucking ridiculous. And done, done, done. But just when we think that's gonna be the big drama for the show. Yeah, randomly enough, the tenderer comes floating back.

And there's a guy in it. And he's like, is this your boat? Did you leave your boat somewhere? And he's like, what? Some guy brought our tender back. Never have I had a stranger bring my tenderer to my boat. So Travis was this you and he's like, well, uh, it's not tight. Uh, cold. I, yeah, I must have just slipped. Sorry, I didn't have a call in my face this morning. What am I supposed to do? Well, I'm discombobulated. Oh, that brings us to the end of a very fun episode of Below Take Need.

Yeah, we'll see a bunch of you guys on the Hangout tonight. Go buy tickets to our shows. We got Charlotte in Nashville or a month away. So time, we're starting to get to the final stretch here to get your tickets for that. And then of course, we're also specifically in the final stretch for the merchandise. Watch or crap in the dot com for every single thing that you need. And we'll be back tomorrow to talk about Real House of Orange County. So have a wonderful evening everyone. Love you everybody. Talk to later. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watchrocraftens, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon

Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.