Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Can't Have Your Pancake and Eat It Too

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

The Below Deck Mediterranean season draws to a close with the triumphant perseverance of man over batter as Dave finally learns how to cook a pancake! Just kidding, he still can't do it. It feels like there's a metaphor in here about the season somewhere, but we're not sure what it is.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Hello and welcome to Watch or Crap Ins. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today on this wonderful, wonderful exciting final journey for below deck med this season. It's Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie. How are you? I just like to say wow wow everybody wow well we did it nine charters we did it we did it this thick envelope is for everyone okay we did it. We did it. This thick envelope is for everyone. Okay, we did it. Just like

to add that anything that did go wrong is the fault of Hannah. God, I don't love that banana. Fired fiery pants. Ferry, yay. Bye. Good luck to the love boat. I hope you don't crash into an iceberg or into a rock because you have a drug adult, Stu Onboard, who is not in a proper state of mind. Good luck to you. Good luck. Yep, it's below deck V and which basically just leads into below deck, whatever the other one is. It's a job!

Which we are also recapping this season. So check in for that. Yeah, and regular blow ducks also coming back soon. I have to say, I have to thank below deck med because I have literally piggybacked right on off of it, like just attached my little claws onto it and spent an entire week writing about and posting about Chris B.H. Pancakes. And I've gained some nice new followers on my little, you know, my little substacks. So thank you, blowdike med for allowing me to piggyback.

The guy Dominique Easley, the football player who is part the center of Pancake Gate, he actually, he's actually like in Los Angeles this weekend because we start following each other on social media. And I was like, I really wanted to be like, Hey, come over. I'll make crispy at edge pancakes. And then I was like, Ben, you are a lunatic. So I didn't do it.

So I'm just also proud of myself for not being a crazy person, even though he was literally through blocks away from me. But it was, it was a triumph. It was an exciting time for me. This pancake gate. And. Oh, congrats. So what's the address of your sub stack? NBDFancy.substack.com. There you go. So go check it out everybody.

Chris B. Edge pancake. Thank you everyone for letting me cravingly self-promote and exploit blow deck med for my own purposes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Well, there you go. You know, hey, the Dorset Pancake's opened. You never know. Pancake, this was, I reached my pancake height. And now, like, that's my peak, pancake peak. Like, sounds like a Super Mario Bros. world.

Ah, let's go to pancake peak. They're goddamn wise pancake peak so hard. It's a fucking pancake. I did not say, let's go to Crape peak. Please Crape Valley Anyway, I think falling through these pancakes there to you Anyway, but I do have to say pancake was one of my favorite gates. We've had in a long time I think it was my favorite gate since cater gate on Salt Lake City

Well, there's a couple things first off the guy is so annoying about it And I feel like it's one of the he could have been worse personality wise. He could have been a real diva about it. Yeah, but I think it's just one of those things where your asked us a little kid like what would you do if you were a millionaire and then you say like I would eat pancakes every meal every day and so he's become a millionaire and I was like I'm eating pancakes every every meal every day. And so he's become a millionaire. And I was like, I'm eating pancakes every meal every day. So it's part of that. But the other thing I found enjoyable about it is it really is highlighting how not as great of a chef as he thinks he is the Davis. Yeah.

Because Davis really got in a way with a lot of stuff this season, where people are like, Oh my God, you are amazing. Where I feel like some other seasons, people would have jumped in as throat a little bit more. Yeah, I agree. I feel like if Kate Chestain were on there or Hannah, I'll say if Kate or Hannah are two most iconic chiefs, she's around there. Hannah first of all, had been like, you cool, call it a pancake. And Kate would say something like, um, Dave, um, maybe you might want to make your pancakes more like pancake-y something like that.

Dave, you know, yeah, it would have been great. See would have at least given him a solid. Huh. When he handed her the crepes to serve, you know, the pancake. Huh. Well, you know, it's so, so it's funny like this, I agree with you. I did not think the football player was like really being very outrageous. I thought he was like just saying like, no, this is not what I'm interested in. And then Bravo on Bravo's website, I had to pull it up because it was, it was so crazy. They, they like posted like the clip. I think it was on their daily dish or something. And this was the headline that they had. This may be the worst reaction

or charter guests has had to a chef's food in below deck history. What? What? Dave fucked up the simplest thing and the guy was like, oh no, this isn't how I like it. And like, the worst reaction we've ever heard

in the history of television. Well, the whole like make a pancake. Now remake the pancake because I like pancake special. So I thought it was gonna be way worse than it was. But then we see him getting raw pancakes, like not cooked. We see him getting crepes. We see him getting everything but a decent fucking pancake.

I mean, you can't even make the thick pancakes. Come on. I mean, he didn't even send it back. You didn't it was just like Natasha's like And he was like no, I'm not she's like we can make some new ones for you He's like, okay fine like he wasn't like I want my pancakes and I want them now Which is what I would have done personally because I'm a monster Do you with not I would be like well, excuse me. You'd have been on y'all like this One day gave me the wrong Do you with not? I would be like, well, excuse me, you would have been on Yelp like this.

A woman gave me the wrong size pancakes. You'd have been like, love them. Thank you. I'm just not very hungry, but thank you. Yeah, I'm not hungry. Yeah, don't really help. Thanks. It would be a joke. It would be a joke. Sitting on her.

There'd be a some pithy tweet anyway. Wow. And here I thought pancakes were something we all could do. Send. Well, these are certainly not called can cakes. Oh, I just learned about flat cakes. And also, you know, things like this, you get a lot of response from listeners, right? Because we've gotten a few responses that are like, guys, listen, in Europe, they are called pancakes.

And there, you know, craps are called pancakes. It's the same thing. But no, no, not on this one, because Dave even said, this guy says pancakes, and he said he wanted thin pancakes so I made him craps.

So Dave even admits, knowing what a pancake is and making a crape instead. So, sorry. But he's not gonna win on this one. This really dominated my life for the past week. I'm not even joking because I was like, so, I was like so upset about the Krispy H. Pancake situation.

And I was hanging out with my friend Demetri who is Ukrainian. And I was like, I said, I was with, I was with a bunch of my friends. And I asked, hey guys, if someone says they want a pancake, but they want it to be not fluffy and they want it to have crispy edges, what does that mean to you? And Dmitry, everyone's like,

oh, that means he just wants like pancake cooked in like a lot of oil. And Dmitry was like, no, he wants a, he wants a crepe, he wants a crepe. And I was like, no, he doesn't want a crepe because no, he says he wants a pancake, but he wants a crepe. He wants a crepe. And I was like, no, he doesn't want a crepe. Because no, he says he wants a pancake, but he wants a crepe. I was like, wow.

It was like literally, the chef Dave's response. I was like, is this something, is this just like an American thing now? Do Europeans just believe that we Americans, when we say we want something then, we really mean crepe. There's like our soul cry out for a crepe. Well, yeah, because we're done we're over here.

We all know it. Most Americans will admit that. Like we're done. And so if we say we want, out for a crape? Well, yeah, because we're done we're over here. We all know it. Like most Americans will admit that. Like we're dumb. And so if we say we want, we get a crape, but we don't know what a crape is because we're American. So we're like, oh, what a crape, that's dumb. It's called a pancake. And it's not made like this.

You know, we reinvent everything. And you know that over there, they're like fucking Americans that can't even have crape. They have to have big, the biggest American style crape. It's not even craped. It's bastardization of the crape. I think the lesson learned is no matter what you think about crapes or pancakes or British pancakes, I think you're always going to fall into a trap when you declare what the other person really is thinking, you know, like, oh, he says he wants a pancake, but what he

really wants is a crape. Like, I always think of, to take this to a weird place, I always think of when Michael Jackson died, because I was at the dentist office and I was getting a cleaning. And, you know, when I went into for the cleaning, Michael Jackson by helicopter was alive and the big story was that Farrah Foss that had died.

And when I came out of my cleaning 45 minutes later, the receptionist goes, Oh my God, did you hear Michael Jackson died? And I said to her, Oh, your mistake. And it was fair faucet. As if this idiot could not figure out the difference between fair faucet of Michael, like someone said to her, did you hear him, fair faucet died? And she heard Michael Jackson start telling everyone Michael Jackson, I was the biggest thickened that set in that moment. She said Michael, she said Michael Jackson. She meant Michael Jackson is not up for me to say

you mean Farrah Fawcett and the same goes for pancakes. Okay, but even if we gave Dave that, even if we gave Dave, like he thought he was making a Farrah Fawcett shaped crate, but it was really supposed to be a Michael Jackson shape. Like even if we give him that, it's clear now by this episode, the guy does not want to create. He wants a thin fucking pancake, Dave. Okay. So whatever happened last week, I'm willing to forgive it. But yes, you make a pancake this week. Like let's turn over.

That's fine. Come on. The way I said, I do not have a sub stack, but I did not get into a pancake this week. Like let's start over. That's fine. Come on the way. Yes, I do not have a sub stack, but I did not get into a pancake kick. I got back on a crate kick because I love making some crepes anyway. So I made them right after this episode, ate all of them. And then I made a double batch because my niece spent the night. So I made her crepes and it hold back. Well, except for two that I gave her again. So love them. Point is tried to make a pancake out of the crate.

No, it's not how it works. Okay, it's just not, it's different. You can't just form more, you can't just make crate batter and then make it thicker. It doesn't work like that. Yes, it's crispy on the outside, but it's raw on the inside. See? That is correct.

That is correct. That is correct. Also, you know what, like fine. Dave doesn't know how to do American style pancakes. He was a little stymied, but guess what? Now, he's had now time in between his like jacking off to Natasha's photos on his phone. He could have Googled like some very simple pancake recipes.

Okay, Google, Inaigarten, Google pioneer woman, Google literally anyone for a pancake recipe and just follow it. You'll be fine. But, you know, he called for a faucet and that's where we start this episode. So we start with Courtney jumping off the boat. And reads like go, co, co, very dirty. Coco, wow, I love how Coco actually jumped into the thing that she was staring at her face into. Narcissus. Hey, nice job jumping into the mirror. Narcissus, you know, that's how you die in the stories. Hi, look at her jumping into the sea. Well, you can't spell narcissism without a sea. Am I right?

Everyone just joshin, just joshin. Just joshin. Roll time. Natasha, Natasha, Mattalia, Natasha, Natasha, Natalia, gets us sitting around waiting for breakfast. Gets us sitting around waiting for breakfast. And the news to Ellie. She is still asleep. So we see her in bed because she's over slept. So she's like,

me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me was there like somethings an email that went out to all Bravo staff that's like, sleeping is only cartoon style now.

People must make cartoon noises while they sleep. I definitely believe there was, there was an email that was like, we are now to all interns of below duck productions. Today's your lucky day. Please come to post production office B where you will be making sleep noises that we're going to layer in on top of anyone's sleeping because everything was like. Yeah, those fine notes to our road season beds snoring like a cartoon.

Yeah. Little like little bubbles are coming out of her mouth and floating up and popping There's a feather on her nose that's like drifting down and up began and down So Natalia has to take orders for breakfast, which of course she loves because she's doing service. And then she goes back down to laundry and there's really whacking music. And I don't know why because nothing's really happening. I just keep taking notes anyway. And then the captain goes to the guests and she's like, well, it's another day of water sports.

All right. So it's not wear any necklaces, watches. It just cuts to Jordan who does not look amused. I just lost $500,000 and you're making a joke out of this man. I just dropped a two bedroom home adventure into the water. I just I just lost my storyline for selling Tampa next season. Not show. Yeah, not to rep it in over there Jordan. Okay, you know what? We should just drop the chain soon so you guys can get in there. Whoops did it again.

Okay, ding it. Okay, well stay on the toys because when it gets rough there and you lose that C-Bob and you'll feel a lot of pain in your jewels. Oh god there I went again. Okay listen I should just quit while I'm ahead. Okay you guys have a great breakfast I'm sure Dave's gonna make something that's off the chain. Okay. Listen if you got get lost out there make sure you feel around for a rope.

Oh geez. I'm not gonna win this one. Okay. Have a solid gold day. Okay, I'll be in my room. Diamonds are forever unless they fall right off your neck. Oh, there wasn't even any. Pretty on the nose there, huh? Yeah, at least I got a little Shirley Bassie in there. Am I right? there huh yeah at least I got a little Shirley Bassie in there am I right you know who you know who still has a chain Shirley Bassie for example hold on let me press this activity ring on my apple watch on that's enough Cheryl you know when was a kid, I always thought to read the Franklin was seeing, change, change, change.

So, um, the guys like, are we going to keep the anchor up today or what? What's up with the anchor? And she's like, well, tonight we might have to come back to the dock. Otherwise, we might not get back to the dock. Okay. We'll be just like a chain, last forever. We'll just be drifting around the Mediterranean, and hopefully one day we'll just crash up against Israel

or maybe Tunisia, who knows? And she's talking to the Fred Flintstone kind of looking guy, and he's wearing a shirt that says, in a bragging motherfucker, if you could back it up. Like guess what? Which people, rich people don't wear those shirts, sir. Okay. Did he leave his one tequila to tequila, three tequila, floor shirt at home by accident?

Five o'clock somewhere. So Dave and Tosh in the pantry. So she's in the little fridge in the hallway pantry area, looking for something. And then he ducks behind the door and looks over at her and he's like, you okay, you okay there, Tosh? Maybe she was okay before you decided to like cause play Wilson from home improvement over the mini fridge door. So weird. So weird. And so she's like, I'm just gonna start taking the breakfast out, Dave. And she says, I've all my season in the mountain.

I really have hit the lowest I've ever been. I take pride in what I do, but my personal life has infected everything undone, and I told off my ex. And he reached out to Dave. And it's all just shit. Plus Dave won't let me close this tiny, tiny, future adorn now. It's terrible. Dave, you just found out that Natasha has been telling her ex who she cheated on with you and then dumped

for you and then dumped you and got back together with. She's just you just found out that this woman has been telling this man that you are like a horrible mean bully. Please get away from the fridge door. What are you doing? Lurking. Dr. Lurking at the word.

And that fridge is so, Tasha. Like that's such a word. I'm doing it. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word.

Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word.

Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking behind the word. Lurking so anyway, yeah, so David's being a creeper buying that very tiny door. I don't know. And then, um, now there's so many things that I can do. I'm just looking for the paper stuff and the sonny D.

So, uh, so anyway, yeah. So David's being a creeper buying that very tiny door. I don't know. And then now they're serving breakfast and now Ellie is one hour late. She's still in bed. And she's still way passed out. So Dominique Gluten for penish punishment. He orders more pancakes because he's probably assuming, by now Dave as a chef will have researched this and figured out how to make this very simple thing that people make across the world all the time. Right so he she goes down and gives Dave the order I mean well Dominique's like God I hate flies this morning I was asleep and I hear and I slut shit out of myself and I was like damn it flies Everyone's like whoa

Get this man a pancake. He's our believe it Step away from the pancakes because you know syrup gets all over everything. You don't even know it's there No, he's just like swatting up flies with grapes He's a chast the crape to a stick and now he's just swat. So then Taylor, Tyler, whatever, that little fucking weirdo's like, how fucking cool would it be if we all went to the high-oaskow retreat? Oh wow, I'm shocked that Tyler's trying to get everybody on the drug trip. No Tyler, okay, go back to your fucking trailer and do drugs there, okay? You don't get to spend someone else's hundreds

of thousands of dollars for your drug trips. How did you get attached to this strange group of people? I just don't understand. I think you were right when you said, this is obviously a group they put together for the last charter. It's like, hey, let's try and squeeze one less charter out of this, okay, we'll take the sports guys

and their investment team. Then there's this little guy with nose piercings that's into Stevie mix and high Alaska. Just get bring them. Just bring him. He, he says he just went to a drag show and is going to regurgitate all the material. He thinks he heard there. He literally does.

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wendry app. So then the girls like, well, there's research that like those high wasco retreats are like gateway drugs to a better reality, but people let us don't have them so that we can stay robots. Oh, is that what that is?

Yeah, I'm in Germany. Yeah, I'm in Dominicos. I know a girl who microdose is Adderall and she's smart as shit. That's called every reality star on Bravo. So, and I also like the idea of like we're just robots. Very wealthy privileged robots that get to go on a robot yacht. Like I was like, you know what? I don't, I think I'm okay with being a robot if it means I get to go on a robot yacht. Like, I was like, you know what?

I don't, I think I'm okay with being a robot if it means I get to be on a yacht. So I know she makes it sound like she's 10 years old gluing together Pumas for a Walmart. I know. She's after, she's after like, she's in the movie Brazil, you know? The band really trying to keep us down. Look at us on this cruise.

Private cruise. Just liking what they tell us to like, like this luxury five star experience we're forced to have. So God, I love that banana. The micro dosing is working. So Dave is now working on pancakes. And I'm fooled at first because I was like, even though he piped them with a bag which felt a little unnecessary and strange. They look like they actually are normal pancakes. I was like okay, we're gonna get a nice button to this pancake arc. We're gonna have a happy ending.

So I'm getting excited for pancakes just in general for them. And then they arrive, and they're fluffing. They arrive during this conversation. So Tyler's going, yeah, you know what? I don't like touching food. Like I don't like people fingering nuts. And Jordan goes, yeah, I don't wanna think about that. Okay.

So then the pancakes are delivered and Tyler's like, those are not thin. I can tell you right now, he does a lot of those. And Dominic's like embarrassed at this point, like he'd like drops, so he hangs his head like, like guys, like stop, stop making me look like a diva, right? Meanwhile Bravo is like,

worst person ever refuses pancakes sight on scene. So, so then everything looks promising, even though they are fluffier than he wants. And so he puts his fork in. And it's completely raw on the inside. It's like gooey and wet. Yes, and he's not just making it up, but we see it. You know, we see that it's just batter with a brown on the outside.

And he's like, oh my god, that's terrible. They look like pudding. And so he shows Natasha and then Natasha goes, so how would you prefer me to have him make them? And he's like, cooked. Wait, what the fuck kind of question like that? Oh my God, and so he goes, it's okay. I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Just tell them they're good. Most inconsiderate yacht guests ever reacts to raw pancakes with abject cruelty. Alright, let me read this. Dave, I'm sorry, but you're not making me happy anymore. Please don't ever speak to me again like pancake. Oh god, I've been dumped by pancake. Hold on one second, pancake, you're a slut. I guess that's just I guess if you don't want me You don't have to have me, but I've given you everything slot or face or pancake. You look like a waffle and guess what? That's a bad thing. Fuck you. Dave.

Oh cake. So then He So then, um, he, so then Dave is like, so is he going to eat the pancake and say, he said it was, it was battering raw Dave. And he's like, what's he talking about? Then he forks into it. And if this one seems cooked, which is weird. That's the thing.

It's like he, the one that Dave got, I think does look like relatively normal. So Dave is like, he's a prick this guy and Tajikus. Whatever. Just put down that watermelon. It's a pancake. No Dave. Yes, he has watermelon again. He doesn't want them. So Dominique's just like, I'm gonna go. I'm just gonna wait till I get home to eat pancakes how I like Um and days like prick So then um Ellie wakes up and say oh It's my second day on board the sheep and I'm late for work. Hi work

She's two hours late she wakes up two hours late, but no one seems to even notice, which is also kind of funny I think it's just like the last day. They're what are we gonna fire her, you know? Also, I love the Ellie her alarm. They keep showing her alarm going off and her just snoozing the alarm for two hours You got to love that kind of Go get her attitude Exactly and then so then Natasha runs into Ellie as Ellie's, like, getting dressed to do her shift. So Ellie does that thing where she asks urgent questions to make up for the fact that she is, like, deeply late. So she's like, oh, good morning,

I think it's up yet. I think it's up yet. It's like, it's 2 p.m. Yeah, it's the guest are up. So she starts cleaning really fast. And then it goes to Tyler. And he's like, I'm gonna get us some water toys. I really wanna get thrown around. So they go on the water toys. Dominic goes, yeah, you do that and I'm gonna watch. By the way, I don't think that was Tyler.

There are some smoky voice lady that I think half the Tyler lines were tripping. I think she says half the Tyler lines, but her voice is like this. It's very similar to Tyler's voice. And I can't always tell them apart when you don't actually see their voices coming out of their mouths. Listen, the stories told in this program are based on true characters and events, okay? But some characters have been renamed or combined. There, yeah.

So, and the criminal pancake system. the criminal pancake system. So Dave is sitting in the mess eating his food like a caveman. He's like, and reading texts while Tosh goes to lay down in bed. And he's going over texts from earlier, it says on the screen. You, you must be of hand about to boil, but you're without a apostrophe, are a typical bully who will blame anyone but himself. And he rubs his eyes and reads it again. Like, oh, Dave, you're even obsessing over the excess texts. Yeah. It's time for a break, Dave. And he goes, I'm so infuriated that this guy on Instagram calling me a bully and Tasha agreed to that. This whole time she thought I was just an Absolute animal. I can't believe it. I can't wait to crawl up behind the tiny tiny door and start with her and get the truth.

He's like it's all my fault. So he gets up and then he goes to knock on her door when she's trying to lay down. And he's like Tasha is just, All right, now more he means I'm done. I can't take anymore. I love Dave. You all right. I've got shit to sort out when I get home. I don't even recognize myself right now, Dave. It's not, it's not Tasha, you know what I mean? I'm just a shell. There's nothing inside me anymore, dear.

Except the love of a thousand sons burning through your eyes, glowing on me and making me realize what a beautifully lit world this could be. Did you say something, dear? Don't look at me. I'm just a mere scallop shell. I can't believe that we completely skipped over Z's really important journey or reflection on his season. I'm really I'm proud of who have come. Past Z is looking at future Z saying well done my guy. Thanks. Thanks Z. Thanks for being here this season.

Great job. Looking back when I first jumped on Lady Michelle, I was clueless. But now I feel confident. Now I'm super proud. Like, okay, okay. It's great. Pick up your check on the way out. Thanks for thanks for bringing in the slide. So Natasha's like, This season days, behavior towards me, I was completely unacceptable, but I've learned a lot about myself in a painful way that's also been painful to others. I don't know how to be alone, and I shouldn't, I should be able to be happy

without another person. Oh God, I'm just gonna work on it. I'm done with it. And then Davis like, he's like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Did you say something day? So then the captain, we get a captain looking at the screen thing and she's like, this wind is gushin. We're going back to the dock. That's it. So then it's clean time. It's cleaning. Oh, everybody cleans. And she tells Dave she's gonna have dinner with the guests and Elena has cleaned everything.

So now, got a hand at to Elena. She cleans, but I think her voice is just so high-pitched that the beds literally make themselves, so I don't have to listen. Cause she walks down there, she's like, Hello, bandit, it's me, Ellie. And I'm like, who's being? To expring themselves for breeze.

So, yeah, it's kind of like a weird Disney princess effect where like a princess walks into room and waves her hand and everything becomes beautiful, except in this case, everything becomes beautiful out of annoyance for the princess, not because it's inspired by her. Yeah, the little mice and the birds running to get everything clean in a second just so they don't have to hear it.

I can't hurry up. She won't stop saying hi. The blue birds are like putting drapes up. So he came to bring the anchor up, anchor's up, anchor's up, anchor's up. So then Dave, Dave then this then Dave tells Natasha Tosh I did it all the personal bullshit. I Did it well, I'll tell you one thing you didn't do you didn't make pancakes. How about that? How about that? So I think the pancakes are kind of your whole season

You know you ended up getting stuff done, but in the end it was just a gooey mess. Nobody could swallow. So David's like, well personally, I took so many steps back with the season. I was wrecked. I called so much drama, and it affected the other crew, and they didn't deserve that. And the least I can do is cook something amazing for the last dinner. So he's making these little cheesecakes that look like apples, but then he pours orange, guess what? Chocolate. Just kidding, mirror glaze. Mirror glaze.

Yeah, because he made these little, he made these cheesecakes earlier in the season when he's like, guess what? The apples in the centerpiece are cheesecakes. Enjoy. So now it's oranges. So, one, I guess, I guess when you talk about this like comparing apples to oranges. It's the same thing Dave also, you know, he's talking about how he made everyone's life a living hell on the crew this whole season

So he's gonna make a good dinner for the guests Cheesecake everyone who had to listen to you for the guests. I was like, you know, I could use some cheese cake, everyone who had to listen to you. Okay, give me some cheese. Like that. Where's our cheese cake? I would like one.

They're actually delicious. So, so now the other can be docking, and it's like evening. So that means that storm gets to do. One last time, a talk about how dangerous it is is to dock at night, but there's a lot of things, there's visibility, and there's waves, and Malta becomes all vampires at night. So you have to look out for vampires. It's a very

dangerous thing to do, and this is the last time I have to show Sandy that I can be on a deck well about ducks. We have currents, and there's multiple elements, there's a guy in the watch, there's a guy in the off-watch, so what do I say? Hit the guy with the watch shirt! They did it! I've made it! I've made it! There's all sorts of obstacles, there's dolphins, there's a very shiny chain floating back and forth over there. I have to avoid it all, but I did it! I show it's Andy, I could do it.

So they dock and Dominique goes, you know what's funny? Taking the stat and island fairy, they used to always hit the dogs. Dominique, they're supposed to. You know, it's also funny every time I'm taking the satin island fairy. I've also never had pancakes. I used to take that every day. I live to statin fairy, satin island fairy free or that's what they do. And I love I love that fairies work that way. That they're like, just kind of aimed towards the front. And there's a couple walls that they built there.

And every time you dock, they're like, oh, because you hit the wall and the not-wall pushes the boat to the other one. That was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that, that, that

Anon fell very always crashes into the dock, because I thought in every other way, it seems so much like being on a super yacht. Really, truly it does. You know what they say about the, the Staten Island very, it's the yacht of Manhattan. Get that Nathan's hot dog on your way out. Yes. So, um, Dave is plating and he's like,

how you're like me now, motherfucker. I know, she is. He's like, I'm not aggressive at all. I'm like, you were literally screaming at a piece of broccoli and he said, of course, Ellie is like, Oh, hello, guess you want something? I don't know, you can start sitting now. I'm gonna catch you some dinner.

Hi, Emily. I know. So they sit down and they've invited Sandy. So Sandy's at the table and they're going to have dinner. And Tyler's like, hey, bitches, I got a toast. I got a toast. It's like Jack and Jill went up the hill. So Jack could like her candy, but Jack got a shock

and a mouthful of cock because Jill's real name was Randy. It's like, Randy. Okay. Wow. Here's my note. Jesus Christ shut the fuck up. Thank you. That's by the way, also not even a toast. It's just a limb Rick. Well, yeah, there's so much wrong with that toast, but I'm like, how much time does Tyler deserve?

It's over. Yeah. So then the cat's full of big lemurick. Yeah. Yeah. So the cat's like, Ha, ha, that is. Oh, good. And then it cuts to her talking best. She goes, come on.

I mean, come on. Brandy, we know, Julie, it's not going up any sort of hill. Okay. He likes flat surfaces. And who wouldn't go up a hill, but like some candy? Gosh, I don't have candy on land. Who did the provisions? Jack knew it was Randy the entire time.

Okay, this is the problem with society, making Jack not feel comfortable enough to act on his true desires. If he could act on his true desires, they never would have had to go up the hill in the first place. Come on. Come on. So dinner delivered by Stormintalia and Dave's like, all right, we'll go see bring cauliflower puree, uh, see

bring covered in a mirror glass. And the captain's like, whoa, gosh, thank god this isn't a sea take because I'm going to need you to bring some more of this. This is Devicious. Wow. Wow. Dev, wow. I can't believe you serve sea bream for the 10th time this season. That was absolutely amazing. God, I hope you do something with Miracleize for dessert. God, let you do it. So Fred Flintstone, guys, like sell captain. What made you want to be a sailor cap? And she's like, well, you know, I got on the Dragon Alcohol Train

and that was in high school. So I got kicked out of high school and then I got a job clean in boats. And after that, I learned a roller skate but I kept falling down, you know. Really, the Dragon Alcohol Train, you shouldn't be on that train when you watch Starlight Express

because then you're just like a Dragon and alcohol train trying to be another kind of train on actual roller skates, classing and show tunes. And you know, you usually have to be sober for that. I run the whole production basically. And you know, long story short, I got sent to C school, but why not to an A school? No, it's called a C school But what don't you want to go to like an A an A school? No, but I mean I got A's I got ease at my C school Hey, I Thought it was I I like I I captain no, I don't have eyes or not a grade I'll tell you didn't go to C school. Ramby. He never likes see

Okay, come on, come on. Randy, like P instead of C, if you know what I'm saying. No, T, only A for Randy, am I right? So then storm and Atari are bantering away, something uninteresting. And storm is like, I think she really enjoys me being that person for her, and it's not that she won't miss me, but I think I'll miss her more. Fascinating things, fascinating insights into a relationship no one has ever cared about. Thank God I'm on a new path now, because this is my first time as a boasting.

I just don't know how to be after this Like okay strong. So then Storm tells the deck counts to help Ellie and the cabins and So see it's like how about Reed goes to the cabins. Hey Reed We can set you up because you like Ellie and Ellie's gonna be in the I know I'm I get what you're saying Okay, Ellie. Ellie. Hey Ellie. Do you want some help from Reed in the cabins? Do you want him to help you in the cabins? And Reed is like, you know, being single doesn't look, you know, I don't look negatively on date and hooking up on the yacht, even if it is with a narcissistic slut ass face.

And I say, oh God, my banter got to work on that roll tide. You know, on a boat, you can hook up with people where it's not serious. Oh, my grandma's going to kill me through that one. Oh, my grandma. So, uh, if you're going to flirt with somebody by helping them clean, be good at it. He's just like wandering around really slowly, like anything I can help you with. I think he thought this was gonna be a flirt moment, but she's literally pointing at birds

to like Windex, certain things to get everything done. It's not paying attention to him. She is literally like making him do all her work. She's like, oh, do you mind, could you split set, oh, could you run the washers? I have to go up to the, could you run the washers sheets? Okay, oh, hey. And he's like, sure thing.

So then the little cheesecakes are delivered and everyone just goes to bed. I'm like, great last charter, guys. This was super fun. Commissions, here comes one right now. So then it's the final day and I wrote, why is this an episode? That's my note for this. It's always the last little like, drips and drabs that they have to couple together.

This is like the, this is like when you've made cookies, okay, you've rolled out your dough, you got your cookie cutter and you've cut out all your little Christmas tree cookies, and then you've got a whole bunch of scraps So you fold them all together and you smush them down and you get like a half Christmas They get's not enough to fit the cookie cutter, but just enough to still kind of make a cookie. That's what this episode is Yeah, so say it's still a cookie. It's still a cookie, okay? So then it's morning time and Tallya gets in bed together with storm shakes. Storm it's a less day together or is up here or is up here a little six eighty. Yeah, and Kyle's texting Natasha to say that he's actually going to come back on the boat in a few hours to spend the last night with everyone, you know, of course, where he doesn't have to work.

He can just come by and collect money and shit. Yeah, I'm a guy So um everyone's eating everyone's gathering for breakfast and Natasha's like Dominique would you like some pancakes? He's like no no pancakes Worst ever bravo guest denies pancakes and continues to complain about lack of pancakes for the rest of his life and continues to complain about lack of pancakes for the rest of his life. So now changing packing. Oh my god, here's an original note. Why is this an episode? I just kept riding it. It's like my red rum for this episode. Why is this an episode? So then, now they're, they're getting their luggage packed into cars and they send the guests off and Josh,

the main guy is like, we had a wonderful time. so here, here, here, this goes to you. It's not below. Thank you all very, very much, Fred. Oh God, and he's wearing like a, like some sleeveless hoodie. I mean, it's like, imagine Andrew Zimmer and trying to appeal to Gen Z. That's kind of what it looked like to me. I was like, sir, please just, just put on the

polo shirt. This is your vibe. This is terrible. What's happening here? So, Sandy's like, we did it. Charter number nine. Amazing. Hey, let's dig in our whites and meet in the mean salon for two meeting guys. Come on. So they go in and they're pouring apparel, spritzes and stuff. But then Natalia's not there. Where's Natalia? What is she up to? And Natalia comes in at one of the Dolly Parton wigs. And she's like, hi everybody, I'm Captain Sandy.

Okay, here's my impersonation. This envelope is the egg. We started strong, We in the strong wow Wow high five everybody That was awesome Wow, you forgot to talk about how I went to see school when she is around by pirates. Okay, do that part now I Love drugs in alcohol. Okay, you know what you're fired. Okay

I love drugs laying out the whole. Okay, you know what, you're fired. Okay. So, she said, that was awesome. Wow, not from the South or a plant like that. But you know what, wow. So what can I say? We made it with one man down, a flight of stairs, which got to stop watching the tape of that, because that shit was funny.

I gotta say. But then Elena filled in. She came in, she said, hi, a lot. First person to actually break glass with her voice. So well done, Ali. Well done. Yeah. Alaina filled in like a breath of fresh air. Of course, that breath was held in the lungs for about two hours before an exhale, but you know, at least there was fresh air. So we got 20 grand, okay. So our season total is $197 trillion. Congratulations, you're not pouring anymore, just kidding. But you do get to take about $10,000 home. God, I'm the saddest Pat C. Jackson's ever worked, huh? Wheel of hugs. Yeah, that's a fun game. So four times, sorry, you're not

rich enough to buy any okay for the in there. Hey, let's start with RST LNE and the last one hugs. So doesn't even make sense. Just gonna lean into real fortune saying and add hugs to it and see what works. Um, so they cheer and then Kyle returns and he's like, I'm a bing. He's like, oh, black. And he like walks on. It's like he never has ankle. There's no, there's no praise. There's no, there's no like a spandage.

He's walking fine now of course. So I heard from our friend old Queen in a bar who was at Bravo Con. That said, rumor is that Kyle was not invited to Bravo Con because they can only bring certain people and fly everybody in or whatever. So he paid for himself to go and showed up at the below deck event and just took over, like took a mic and was like, Hello, it's me, Kyle.

And as acted like he was the host of the whole thing the whole time. I mean, I don't know if that's true or not, that's just gossip, but how funny is that? That is so funny that is so Kyle, I'm like, and it's classic Kyle where I am both so impressed, but also so like Roll I really at the same time like that is that that is the style that is the markings of a great reality start right there. Yeah

So he's like hi Bitties and then he tells us it's quite long time to be by yourself in the recovery process but after tutikut's everything feels great. Yeah, I'm sure everyone likes hearing that after they were like worked the bone for the past five days. Do we talk, by the way, last week about Kyle also getting engaged? Did that come out in time and the photo of him? I don't know if we talked about it, but he got engaged and the photo is this guy. The first Kyle photo.

The most Kyle photo. It's like, imagine Kyle getting engaged and that's the photo. It's this Kyle's like doubled over and like submit fake sob. He's literally yelling Frank while he's getting engaged to someone else. Frank! I love you Frank! So they get to go out and Big Antique bus tonight. And Kyle. They're in a Big Antique bus and Kyle, he literally gets dressed up in a river dance uniform. Are we going to be doing an Irish jig right now? What is it he had?

Like, these like black trousers that were up to like his midsection and then like a shiny shirt that was open all the way tucked into it. I was like, I was like, is he headed to Radio City Musical all after this? I'm telling you, he a chorus for you and anything goes Like every those pants up to his boobs. I cannot So and he's like everyone looks so hot so fucking ho I'm having six is one of you to know I get some dick By the way, why were they out? What where did that bus even come from? This old fashioned party bus, like the party bus of Malta. Anyway, so they arrive and the cat looks like a cat.

It looks like it is watched this whole season. It's just like yons and puts his head back down. The cat is like, I thought for sure you guys were gonna come here and be the most exciting thing since Popeye Village showed up. But no. No. So they go to dinner and Natalia is like, so cute, then. Now that we're all here, out of me and Carl, who's your favorite? If we're bad drawing, who are you gonna save?

I'm just like, both of you. And cause like, off the head of this one, it gives you the logo of me. Same as like, okay, well, welcome to Sandy and friends. Okay, we're gonna have some round table discussion here. What were your highs and what were your lows? So Courtney is like, oh well, I felt like I was like, I saw the high, my boobs. I feel like I was like, oh so the high, my prob my boobs

I felt like I was welcome to being a female Jackie and like obviously getting lead Decan was amazing. I was like, I mean like how amazing was it that I got to be lead Decan and me Courtney, the stew who showed up mid-seize and then became lead Decan and me lead Decan. It just got to see being like, if I knew how to cry, I would instead of just chuckle. Hehehehe. Hehehehe. And I would say the worst part was when I was told and I was an octocuss. I still don't even know what that means.

Narcissistic bitch. God, my banter. So Dave's like, well I've've been I've seen some of the lowest times I've ever had I don't want to get into that I'll just say fuck you whole but my rose is having you guys support me through all of this stuff that I went through I would like to thank the mini fridge door for protecting at least 3.5 quarters of my body from being humiliated this morning.

So thank you mini-fridge door. I've come so far. I grew up in a neighborhood where people would like mini-fridge on fire. So it's been really pertinent to be here and have a mini-fridge intact. So then Nataasha's like, oh my rose, Kyle, Kyle has been a rock. So I guess he's been a rock and a rose. A rocky rose. He's a rose made of stone. He's a stone rose. He's a rose. Steve, Dave, he's a rock or a rose. Quick, pop quiz. I don't know the answer. Pineapple, Dave. Pineapple. and I think that everyone feels the jail. Everyone feels it. And Dave, what can I say? You've

been super calm and patient. And when I wasn't fearful for my life, you did make shiny rectangles that you would pile on top of each other and call them keeks. So went on Dave. And Dave, that really made my job in million times easier, except for the times one, everything else you did made my job in million times harder. Thank you, Dave. So Storm's like, uh, should I start with the rose or the thorn for a rapid up storm? Okay. Oh, no one cares. And Kyle, the arbiter of rose and thorn for a rapid up storm okay no one cares and Kyle the arbiter of rose and thorn is like what's your wish love just see what you wish well you know I originally thought about how well so he stormed as a whole

thing where he's like I just want to thank my crew because I'm a boasting I got to finally prove that I'm a boasting and I'm on boats and I love boastons I also love boasts and I love the sun so I love all things bow and sun and bow Sun it's a wonderful time to be alive and I write everyone Everyone's like yeah, but he doesn't mention Natalia Right and I have to mention his Thorne he starts with his Thorne and he goes but the one was hitting that dolphin and the captain Just gets this really serious face and nods deeply like yeah wow

ouch god it just my finger started bleeding that thorn still hurt so bad huh what a loser where LA was probably so confused oh no that finnish dead what he done finn oh no I know what to say, Portalfan, a Mandarin. So Storm literally lists everything.

He's like, you know, one of the roses was, you know, that little button that you pressed on sliding glass doors to make them open. I thought that was really pro. It was really fancy. God, the water tours, God, I love that banana. See, I told ya. God, I do though. It's true And sometimes like

Well, you didn't mention Rose sitting right here, but that's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine That's fine. I'm just gonna keep saying it until you mention me. All right. It's fine Well, not not well, I you know, I thought you don't like public affection So, you know, I mean like like literally like I would have sat there and then like done an Oscar speech like, you know, the caprio vibes for, you know, but I didn't do it because I know she I see a shadowy figure in a trench coat and sunglasses over there with a little yellow bob. Hey, stranger, you wanna give your rose and thorn? Ah, that's a ragan, the best in, uh, I would say that my thorn was, um, being caught by the people who I've been fleeing, but my rose was that I told them that I could sail them to safety, and then the boat sank back, so it turns out my ineptitude is a thing that saved me. Oh, oh, someone's right there behind you.

Yeah, I just wanted to say, like, I'm sorry that, like, I was too good for all of you and you might as well be fucking nerds in finance. Bye. Jason Jason God these seasons are going on too long. I didn't even know who Reagan was for a minute. I was like who's this leper kind? There's someone behind Jason. Who do you think you are? I said I got this table. We've been waiting to sit here forever. Okay. I need to order some peaters. Oh, sorry daisy Guess our seasons over come on take a seat

Well Yeah, you don't know what the fire is until you work with Gary Who does someone ask about raisins? My roses Sticking my marina and doing actual rose and my phone was actually getting the fun part of the rose on marina and do an actual rose and my phone was actually getting the thund part of the rose on my wiener too. Oh! Alright, well H is here, I'm definitely out.

God. There's no fast-print in the world. Okay, so storm is now freaking out because Natalia said that. Like, oh I'm your bros. and so now he's like over thinking it There's drama music and of course Z follows him so he could you know be his audience while he has a freak out And he's like god nice bleak and he's like yeah, I mean it's not a thing though I mean she doesn't like public affixions. I mean how can I keep up with this shit? You know I look like that's not to be fun. I'm like this. And Z is like, don't take it so seriously, bro.

Do you think Z wants to spend his last night? Yeah, it doesn't it's second F. You pass Z out for a job to give the Courtney literally for no reason. Okay? She could put the button on the tender better, I guess. And he's had to like eat shit and smile at your face and listen to your drama all season. and now he has to spend his last night Taking care of you freaking out. Oh, thank you. No, thank you so now they go to a club and They're drinking and there's more drinking and there's like shots and then Cause like leesian. I really need to fucking boy and they bet you know, he's like a bia

and um, cause like, Lee Sin, I really need to fucking boy and they beg you not, he's gonna be ya! And then read an L.E.R. dancing and she's like, Oh, I wish I had more time to get the knowing better. Oh, cuz they make it the friend zone team. And Kyle tells Natalia, You're all the worst, first time I've met my law, I thought I'm so glad I met you, babe, she is. And, uh, it's a talk talk. He really is. And so she jumps on him,

just like the bachelor who jumped on him. Yeah. And, uh, he says, Yeah, you know, she's, she's, she's good, but she's just got so much energy. After all the wars,

tribs about she's core creties, ice cream, tracks lauding down crises, he orscreens track slaughtering Dan Hill or will forgive but I will never forget what you've done. And then he does that thing, like, he goes, but he's counting. So then Z is trying to twerk, the ongoing saga of the twerk on this cast and he winds up knocking over a table full of drinks and then just like walks away. And then now everyone gets back to the yacht and they're all in like their their vans is like boys van and girls van and the girls van Kyle Kyle's in the girls van and he's like throwing

someone over like I don't know if it was Ellie or Natasha or whatever but it's like throwing her over the seat and they're all being like wacky and like they're flashing each other and everything and then me one the in the boys van storm is like, guys, how about we do this? Like how about we like take a close off and jump into that little river that's right by the boat, you know that little sewage channel Let's do that guys. Let's do that. And they're like cool So they get back to the boat and storm jumps out and starts ripping off his clothes and no one else does. And I was like, no, no, you're bloody not. It's not even funny storm. You better stop it right now. But we're all doing it because no one else has this close off storm.

You're the only one who's taken off their clothes. Everyone's just standing there like fully clothed not going to take off their clothes Now he's mad at them. He's like, oh, thought you said you wanted to swim in the river. You fucking making me look like an idiot now No, what made you look like an idiot was asked was demanding that everyone gets naked and jump in this random river He goes just reading with slams the door and Dave checks on him. He's like, come on, honestly. So basically, you know, everyone's just wasted. He's being a drama queen. So Courtney's like pulling up her skirt and twerking and he's like throwing money at her. And then Natalia goes to Storm's room and he's like, they all said they wanted to, but then they didn't. And it made me look stupid in front of you. And she's like, oh, that's like, they all said they wanted to, but then they didn't, and it made me look stupid in front of you.

And she's like, oh, that's sweet, but you've always looked stupid in front of me. That's the point. Come on, get your shit together and stop bringing up this shit. Okay, we have to have fun. So now they are, now they're partying some more than Kyle, like, trips and like falls down,

like, it doesn't fall down, but he like stumbles down a few steps on his ankle. And, but oddly enough, he doesn't, he's not like, oh my ankle, he's like, what, Eva, what, Eva, which is now making me wonder what's going on with his ankle. Now I have a conspiracy in my head of like, did he really, really hurt his ankle?

I feel like he did, it seems like he did, but there's now a part of me that's like, did he? Did he? No. So, um, Alaina is like, I have to lay down for a minute. That's all fashion really fucked me up. I'm so she takes an app and, um, Natalia and Zier pull dancing and Courtney is twerking, of course. Yes. By the way, I think this would be a good time to mention. I don't know why we did not mention it before, but I had this revelation that isn't Ellie, doesn't she look like a long lost work sister? Like shouldn't she be like one of the work's twins?

I don't see that. Call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call. Call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call, call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call Absolutely not. Maybe it just wasn't really looking for it. It's okay. I understand. Not everyone's looking for workers to wins. Well, finally, here's one thing that can make us both very happy. Natasha finally pulls out her past the time. The devil's dick. They man. I was like, wow, they really were playing the long game with this with this storyline because it was like It was like seven episodes ago.

She's like, I love taking courses. I took a course on Devon sticks. And then we never heard about it again until this moment. I'll take it everywhere. I'll go with me. And we never saw it, but it sees in finale time. So here she comes. So they're all twerking as she's twerking and baton twirling. And then she's on top of the bar like flapping her ass cheese and like throwing it up with the baton catching it and they're like, oh my god. She's like, wow, this is definitely the wildest side of Tosh. I didn't see that side. I can't believe she brought a baton out wild.

So then now in Natasha and Kyle retire to the master suite because they're going to share a bed tonight and she's like, I'm so proud of you. And he's like, oh, I'm so proud of you. I wouldn't have done it with the out you and your stupid batons. Amazing job. You were you missed two charters, Kyle, too. Okay. I don't think we really need a monologue about how proud of yourself. You are. Okay. Don't forget the dental charter that he missed as well. That's what I'm saying. That was the other one. Because didn't he leave on this chart? He thought he missed this one and that dental one. Or did he, I guess he missed half the one before this too, right?

Yeah, he missed half of the, he only did half of the charter where he felt on the stairs. He only did half the charter where he had the, the tooth issue and he missed a full, so it's two charters total. You're right. Oh my gosh, Kyle. He's like, oh, I'm so creative of us. So then Storm and the Tire and Bad, and he's like, you look so beautiful. I can't even describe it as someone who's just become a boasting for the shit shut up.

I just shut up. So she's like, well, he likes me, likes me, and I like him to you, but I don't know what he wants, and I don't know what I want. Don't, don't, don't know one cares! Next time on No One cares Theatre. So it's the next morning, it's time to pack. Ellie is making toast in the toaster, and she's putting a fork in the toaster to the old

and storm is like don't do that you know what happens if you put a fork in the chester it explodes because all the so then Kyle is like stumbling through the walls holding off holding onto the walls and now it's the goodbye section where it's half an hour of people saying goodbye.

So Ellie says bye first and hugs people and Reed just goes, oh shoot. Thanks Reed. By the way, I have to admit, I didn't know that about the Toaster either. You didn't know you can't stick a fork in the Toaster? Well, no, no. Instinct told me I shouldn't do that. Instinct told me that I shouldn't do that.

But I thought if you did that, you would just get like a zap. But then I looked it up. I was like, the Toaster will explode. And when I looked it up, it's like, the Toaster is not that the Toaster will explode. It's more than you will die. Yeah, you get electrocuted. Why do we create these things?

Why would we create? I don't know, that was like a saying back in the day, like, go, go, stick a fork in the toaster or whatever. It's like, why would we create a contraption that has an electrical current running through it and that something could get stuck in it. So you might be tempted to put something metallic in it. Why do we do this to ourselves, you know?

The toaster just, you know, some things just aren't updated ever. It's like, well, the toaster works. Like, what are you going to do? Update a toaster. It's toaster. And so, you know, people still probably die from that every year. It's not like one of the, like, if you get a car now, they're like, BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEE-BEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEEBEE I can deck a privilege, so I didn't have to grow up with those sort of safe lessons, and I just felt like I probably shouldn't put a toast, a fork in there, but I could see myself

conceivably being that gosh darn thing is stock, I'm sticking a fork in there and dying. I was like terrified after this scene. I was like, I could have died. I could have died so many times in my life because of a toaster. That's privilege right there. You don't know, if you've made it to this point

not know that a fork in the toaster, that is privilege. And I'm proud of you. I mean, I've earned my fingers now because I will stick my finger in the toaster to get whatever stuck in there. I just use my finger. It's like the only thing that won't electrocute me.

You know, or miss. Well, yeah. I mean, I've never, until very recently, have I ever owned a stand-up toaster. I've always been toaster oven. So, including the current toaster oven I have,, which is by the way, you gave me. Oh, and you see why? And that was brand new. I just couldn't, it was too big. I can't have things that big on my counter. It was too safe. It was too safe. You need

to danger. But with the risk and having a bagel of you, almost don't die when it gets inevitably stuck in the skinny doaster. What's the point of something that can put a little brown on your bread but doesn't hold onto it until you risk your laugh getting it out? Uh, that was a weird inhale. That was, I'm sorry, that we invoke that inhale for you. Anyway, people, it was like a sob and a laugh at the same time. That was I'm sorry that that we invoke that inhale for you anyway People It was like a sob and a laugh at the same time

So now it's time for Z to say bye and he's like Captain Sandy even simply incredible who's such an inspiration. She's like by there Okay, you well you're always welcome when I'm the captain. That's for sure run along now And then I've learned to be more assertive What Where has he become more assertive now? I've become assertive so when my friends are pitching to me when they're drunk I now say it's cool whereas before I would say Okay

I'm more assertive now. Bye Captain Sandy, do you want me to close the door? No, go ahead and leave it open. Should I leave it open open or just pop the way open? Just however you want. I sure you don't want it closed, closed open. Maybe I should close it, but leave it to where the little thing doesn't come out and get in the gem so it's completely closed.

People can just push on it to open it. How about that? Would you like that? Whatever you want honey Just go wow That guy needs learning to be assertive So then the Kyle comes up as a Can I can't? I can't sleep! I can honestly say that every day being with you on Dead S series was never just like a day's draw But I was patient every day that I was up every day that I chose to come to work

What day is I was passionate about? For Pushing like that because you were like lying in bed giggling with Natasha the whole time. Come on, it's just, I see that, you. God, I really do. And he's like, oh, I keep believe on me. I'm minding on Dini. He goes, and he's like, after this,

I'm going to New York. I'm like, I'm looking forward to seeing Frank and I hope it all works out because you know so he's like I'm getting a one-way ticket to New York and if that smile still works it's in the bag. Did he say that if that smile still works it's in the bag? I don't know something like that but yeah he's basically met this guy who he thinks is rich because he was on a yacht with his friends. So he bought a one-way ticket. I mean girl, that is a little needy, you know. Yeah.

Oh, Frank. Oh, my God. By the way, thank you to our listener who chimed in on take a seat last week. Who said that when he was rewatching the like the second to last season of Rony when there was like Countess the Wann was having some sort of cabaret performance in New York City and there was like a small group of people and Frank was in that group of people cementing Frank's role as being one of our that special group of people of like thirsty thirsty bravo side people like John yeah like what's his face Dr. John Sessa or Post the other one the other John or Blizzard Is it a John storm John Blizzard

But you never know when you're gonna be the next D'Arynda on my right now D'Arynda was you know around a lot of those parties and stuff and yeah like a lazy to be in So then Natasha court goes up and the captain's like, you are such an asset. You just serve and then you just keep serving. Well, okay, you know what? I don't need to just work right now. Okay, get off the ground. And Courtney is like, I would love to be a boss bitch.

Okay. So then Captain Sander. I'm going to take this giant tortoise shell and go my marry away. Tortoise shell, I thought that was your luggage. It's a tortoise Captain Sander. God, that girl can really pack a tortoise. So, you know, I just wanted to say thank you Natasha for the level of service. I never saw you lose your temper.

I never saw you spiral. I never really left my room to be honest. I was out of my room about seven minutes of every episode. Okay. Wow. Great work, you know. You never saw Natasha lose her temper or spiral. What the hell? Just quit your job at this point.

That's what I say. Your ability to serve bright blue drinks named after body parts was uncarlet. So then, so now Natasha sang a bite of Dave. This is there remains of the day very well. And she's like Hasn't been easy to have house it has and he's like who gonna carry all this Should I help carry your bags? I'm gonna offer to carry your bags instead of address the pregnancy the pregnant pause between us the pregnant pregnant

Wrong use of pregnancy. I take a toll back The false tension between us Dave's pregnancy pulling me on the way out wrong use of pregnancy I take it all back. The false tension between us. Dave is pregnancy pulling me on the way out. So he's like, you want me to carry that suitcase and say, are you sure? I just want you to know I've never met anyone like you. I will never meet anyone like you and my heart will never be full again. Did you say something there?

No, I didn't. Oh, you're tired. I wish I had. So for the first time in my life I've learned to stand up for myself. Now more men drama, the future is exciting. Have a lot to look up to. All the single ladies. All the single ladies. All the single ladies. The producer says, so what are you most excited about in your new life? She goes, find in a man. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, of a kind and that emotional breakdown you had after you tried to bully the first two.

Wow! Beautiful moment between all of us, huh? Come on, bring in for a hug. It's like I literally treaded water the whole season. I never got the conversation I watered with Tarsh and I'm terrified. It's the last time I'll see her. Until there's another little mini-fridge door open that I can pop up from behind and say Hello, Josh

Okay, that's kind of creepy. Don't understand what a mini fridge has to do with it, but I could luck to you Send me the gosh Gosh, you kept that galley clean. I love that when she's like wow, Dave You kept that Cali clean Wow, you really? I always thought I was a brand Zeno girl, but now I might be a sea bream slut. What can I say? So now it's an Italian to say time for her leave. She's like Oh no, she suddenly turns into Asia. She's like like I got a leave now. Oh no

So she's gonna dump storm basically Well, I'm so sad to say board storm. It's crazy lord at the end of the day But you know what I don't think he's my person even though on his person. He's not really my person boy Oh, I'm his person. He's not really my person. Say boy. And, um, he says, I got to love her. I'll never forget her. Maybe we'll see each other in the future. You won't. I can't even hear what you say, but I have a feeling it's about me never gonna sing me again. Boy.

God, that was fun. Now I understand why my boyfriend dumped me in the middle of Valentine's Day dinner and just walked on out because it's a thrill. Gosh, by storm. So then Storm says by the sandy and she's like, wow, storm, I know I meet the right choice because your growth was incredible to witness. Gosh, and that's just the hair coming out of the back of your collar I'm talking about. The first little growth I was mostly in my room, but you know what, we're still alive

so there's that. Hey Storm, before you leave do you want to have another monologue that no one cares about about how you learned how to be a boss and well don't mind if I do. I joined this season as a deckhand and I got promoted as a two-based and it was intense and I learned a lot about myself. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, want to be a captain. And he is feeling confident because this is the first time he's like, let his eyelids kind of go back down to normal

because you know, he's been doing like Homer Simpson, I have all season, because he's, oh, I'm so stressed, I've never been a basin. And now his eyes are like kind of Garfieldy. And he's like, now I'm just really living. I was like, yeah, it's good for you. So then the captain's like, well, this season we went through a lot,

but wow, to end how we ended, you know, with the chef who still doesn't really know how to cook a pancake through and a stalker storyline that's probably still going on this day until actual cops are called. Wow, we learn from our mistakes. Yeah, I don't really know. I also learned something else that a mini fridge can actually take on a dent the shape of a man's penis.

I'll tell you this, we might not have a competent crew left on this boat, but we've got enough diet coke for about 19 years. So, they'll be finding bottles of Kier South for years to come on this boat. I never knew there was that much grenadine in supply. They'll never have another Shirley Temple in Malta who've taken the supply for the next 12 years. So, you know, the crew left a little less poor, but wow, those provisioners are richer than Magnus. And here you thought we'd end the season without mentioning how terrible the provisioner Tash was.

Any who? Oh, hey, one last text. Hey, Norma, thanks for everything you did this year. Yes, stupid or. Hey, hey, captain, Sandy, no problem. I really enjoyed finding people who could go to Malta at the last second. Wasn't the problem at all. Well, you know, the fact that you could do that, uh, while never getting out of your recliner and I probably need to be cut out of whatever trailer you're

texting me from. I'm proud of you, Norma. Well, I think I just had to move to a trailer because I had so many people trying to knock down my door and punch me in the face after I sent them to a hostile work environment down to your yacht. A lot of customer complaints and by customers I mean staff complaints. Well, you know what? You did a mediocre job, Norma. That's all I ever expected from you.

And you know, you've really tapped me to set my expectations low and you'll be friends forever. Am I right? Yeah, you sure are. And hey, good look out there knocking into those dolphins in Malta while everyone laughs at you from the castle. Good luck. Wayne more than five of those dolphins. And no one ever coming to cut you out.

Yeah, well, good luck being a bitch. Good luck tonight trying to pay the tab for the seven up surely temples I'm about to get you. Listen, I had to have a lot of beverages because there's a he-man marathon on cartoon network and I love seeing you on my TV. Okay, I gotta add it to you. That's a good luck. All right, Mama, talk to you later.'s a good one. Alright, Mama. Tax you later. Hey, love you. Bye.

Hooray. That brings us to the end of season 97. The below dick Mediterranean. Below dick Mediterranean. So, fun. Thank you everyone for being here, uh, and listening, and, you know, Blodec's never really over. We'll have, we have a Vane Chat tomorrow. So thanks everyone for being here. We'll catch you on the next episode. Bye! Watch what crap ends, we'd like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone

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