Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Date with Destiny

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

A short but sweet charter on Below Deck Mediterranean sees a Maltese popstar boarding the ship to dazzle the guests. But the fun is short lived when Storm must make the most. important. decision. EVER!!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Hello and welcome to Watch or Crap Insa podcast, but all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about, I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious and just simply lovely Mr. Ronnie Caram. Hi Ronnie. How are you? I'm doing great. Just tough and I can get on with me Dave and I'm getting these texts from my ex-boyfriend. Well, you better get on it. You are eyes on ya. So you better focus on the work you're gonna do You keep your eyes up here Ben all right keep them my eyes all right. Oh, oh, I've got a big actually I've actually got a big announcement Ronnie

What I am naming my stapler lead Dickhand I'm so sorry. I hope you'll be able to It's so good. We'll know when you use a stapler anymore, do they? There you go. PDF that shit. So low as I. So congratulations, stapler. You earned it.

And I'm sorry, whole puncher, because I know he's very close to you as well. Yeah, whole puncher took it like a champ, but stapler just been doing such a great job, you know, riding that tender. So I had no choice. I had no choice. But today we're talking below deck Med.

Before we dive into it, thanks to everyone who came to take a seat last night. Remember, we have that on Monday. So if you missed it, don't worry. You can also just go Spotify and listen to the replay. It is archived on there. Also, just a reminder, we've got Winter as Crapin'ing on Mondays.

That's our House of the Dragon recap. Those episodes are released on Mondays on the Winters Crapening feed. You can get them here too, but if you're really antsy and want to hear our take on what happened, go subscribe to Winters Crapening. And lastly, patreon.com slash watch or crap ends. That's where you get bonus content, discord channel, crap ends on demand, all that good stuff. Get the full crap ends experience there.

And just a personal, it's not even like a shill, it's not a major shill, but I, Ronnie, over the weekend, I started up a sub stack. I'd never done that before, but I decided to start up a substack about cooking. Because I love cooking and I'm always taking these pictures on my Instagram because it's like fun. So if people want to subscribe, this is not one of those things.

Like please subscribe guys, please. It's really just more like if that's something that's of interest to you, my substack is nbdefancy.substack.com. So you can go check it out there and know what right about things I could learn what a sub stack is today. It's basically, it's basically like newsletters. In fact, you know, we should resurrect our newsletter and put it on sub stack rather than whatever mail chimp that we use probably be much better that way. So who knows? Well, there you go. I learned something

near. Well congrats on your new sub stack. Thank you so much. So anyway, I'm just giving like one, one one time only. I feel like my mom, well, I'm not really sure what a sub stack is, but you did it, Sal. Guess I'll tell my friends about it. Well, I noticed all these people on the internet were like, here's my, I don't know, I'm about to do it in Tasha was.

Here's my sub stack. Here's my sub stack. And I was like, what is'm about to do it. And then Tasha was here's my sub stack Hey, and I was like, what is the one day? Did you write something day I was He was like, what's up steak? Oh sub stack you seem so tired, Dave But I kept seeing this term sub stack and I was like, what is a sub stack when I looked into it? It's basically just like a newsletter, but like But I kept seeing this term substack and I was like, what is a substack when I looked into it?

It's basically just like a newsletter, but like people are into them. So I can't resist those sort of things. So I'd say, well, that's why I dance on TikTok. Okay. So just kidding. I don't, could you imagine? Okay. So below Dick Mediterranean episode 7 to 13 charter of destiny.

Yeah. 7 to 13 charter of just me. Yeah, so we're picking up in the middle of Storm and Jason, where Storm has been telling Jason like, oh, by the way, your personality sucks, we all don't like you. Could you not be that person that you are? And Jason's like, just replace me. It's, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't say that. We want you to stay.

We just want you to be a completely different person. That's all. It's like, please, but we want you to be yourself, but better. That's what we want. And Jason's like, I've censored myself like 80, 90% the way I talk. So you know what? Sometimes I just doesn't, it doesn't click. And it's not clicking.

So whatever. And he tells us, I like that he feels like he deserves some sort of award for biting us tongue from saying stupid shit. You know? Well, I feel I do. I mean, if I talk the way I talk here in my real life, I'd be dead by now.

You know what I mean? So I feel like I, people who are holding an ant, when we just wanna say fuck you and you're an idiot, and we don't say it, yes, send me a reward immediately. Thank you. Team Jason on this one. I guess you do have a point. So Jason, or is that what I was really thinking?

So then, yeah, Jason says, I didn't even plan on quitting, but like, what do you want me to do? If I'm like that much for cancer, like just fucking end it for me. I mean, I feel closer to the fish in the water than the dekru. Are you guys laughing? Why aren't you laughing at my jokes?

I don't have to judge myself like you guys too. I love you all. Well. And Jason's like the little mermaid. So then the chef is talking to Tasha. And he's like, yeah, I've been thinking, I want to do a pop-up restaurant in the States and you can do the shots. She's like, well, maybe I'll do a coffee, you can hire a bartender, hate bath, like,

you want a ginger shot. It's like, you can't say you're off shots and then keep making him shots, like in the same sense. He's like, oh, you're sure this is a ginger shot? It looks sort of like cast oil. No, it's ginger, Dave. Drink it. You're sure this is a ginger shot. It looks sort of like cast oil. No, it's ginger Dave drink it short smells like cast oil drink it

He does the steam starts coming out of his ears So Tasha's like since the age of 15 have been in a relationship Have never ever been alone. I'm terrified of it. I feel like Dave is a good escape. I trust myself 110% not to go down that road again, but I really crave someone there to be there for me. Okay, well, I'm glad you know yourself like you're craving attention, basically. I do not trust you not to go down that road again because you're on the other road you've already been down called law or whatever that guy's name is stop going down the same roads okay terrorize a new road Get a map and find a highway so She's like please please get on Garmin. Please get your Google Maps ready speaking of maps

Sandy has a map. She's standing in this. she's like unfurling a map on her dashboard because She's like, hey, it's 11 15 time to pull out the old map like it's old times and storm walks in and he's like Captain Sandy may speak to you for a moment There's a bit of luck going on behind the scenes of Jason regarding his attitude towards the team and I put him for chat to say Hey, listen, I'm here for you. Just like I was there for my mom. Well, I would actually have to get into my car at age seven and drive across town and then I would be there for my mom. But anyway, I'm there for you and I don't want you to go. I don't. I just think you are a terrible person with a bad attitude, but I don't want

you to go. And he said he's not going to change and he wants to go. So I said, please, don't want you to go. And he said he's not gonna change and he wants to go. So I said, leave down. And she goes, oh, okay. So he wants to quit. So I'm getting any details. I love quitting stories. Go ahead. Hey, let me start a fire.

Let's do it around the camp. Just kidding. It's a board. We can't do that. I don't know if you've heard of Mary Timelar, but she's a bitch. Okay. So get to it. What is it? He's like, well, he doesn't want to talk to us.

He's grumpy. He ignores me and court me I mean could you imagine not even cracking a smile while that girl works? I mean he doesn't even get a twinkle in his eye when he sees her driving the tender Everyone, everyone loves one that happens. It's a storyline for crying out loud, you know But and I said to him listen I don't want to victimize or or ostracize you But like when you're when you're a good and fine, if one really appreciates you, but the last few childs, as you've been really

silky and stupid and annoying and really wrong about your knots, you know, it's that is like, he just doesn't drive with us. Oh, you're doing the jive who's doing that Courtney? She's the dancer. No, no, drive with us. Like, get along. Oh, jabe. God, I just love how young people change language. I just love it. So more, more, well, he's got the ball locked down, but I'm not really sure. I mean, he doesn't laugh, you know, he doesn't laugh at twerking. He doesn't do the jive. Well, I think it's time to drown him. So bring him in here. Let me cut him

cut off his nuts for the Nescafe while. Okay. And then we'll just drown him. Jason Jason Sandee come to the bridge please. Okay, come on, come to the bridge please. So he walks in because storm has left. He walks in and he's like, oh, hello there. So storm brought me up to speed. Apparently you don't understand how torquing is amusing, right? So let me show you. When a bike goes up and down It's not what you expected but to do sometimes so that usually makes people smile. Are you starting to get a little bit? Okay, now before we have this talk. I know this might be personal so I've got to splink it But it looks like a tortilla and I want you to wrap yourself up like a little burrito, okay?

yourself up like a little burrito, okay? So I don't even get that, but I like that. You've seen those blankets. We can buy them all Facebook. They look like it to our T.S. So you look like a little burrito snuggled up on the couch. Okay. So Jason, Storm got me up to speed, which he also, you know, he might also be on. I mean, have you seen him snorting a speed up his toe of aim?

Because I don't want another hand up in an inner situation. So you tell me you tell me right now. He's like no I don't even what you're talking about. Okay Well, when my personality is being brought into play when I was already biting my tongue like I don't want to throw a temperate Tap drum so like I'm just like trying to not be and make people bad. You know what I mean? Oh, God it so all those temper temper tantrums that we saw, those weren't the temper tantrums. You got something worse up your sleeve. Okay, that's good to know.

You know, sometimes people just, they just don't get it, you know, like you with twerking. So, you know, when you have personality conflicts and it's not a, someone's wrong and someone's right, it's just conflict, you know? It's kind of like, sometimes you have value in momboards. Sometimes you don't No one's wrong. Just that someone has to be fired, okay? Here's what's important. We need that rhythm, okay? Like the handgife has

Oh the handgife baby Now listen, you've always been respectful to me non-dancing You've always been a very respectful non-dancing person to me So I'm gonna ask you to do your job until we find someone who can clap their butt cheeks together so Storm will call them really give them a race. Well I'm running at low capacity but I'm not trying to leave anyone higher and dry especially because I realized after I said I quit I literally have no job and I have a tugboat somewhere off the coast of Maine that I have to tend to so yeah, I can I can say for two more days

Good, let's keep it low and wet low and wet. Just how we like it. Okay. Good back to work Charlie starts in an hour You know asking him to stay is a risk and I don't know what he's how he's gonna behave if he's ever gonna find that rhythm I'm hoping that tonight when a pop star comes on board and he sees me dancing, you'll finally get the rhythm. Or maybe the rhythm will get him, because I do hear it does getcha. But the charter starts in an hour, and we gotta focus on the job and find a way to navigate this, which is kind of a pun, because we're on a boat.

See, a lot of things happening right here. Glad I have a paper map. So then Z is gossiping to court me. And he's like, oh, he said stone. He said, I don't want to be here. And then stone wouldn't have kept in the city. What's going to happen? And then we go to the preference sheet meeting. Okay, Charter 6. This one's going to be shorter. Okay. It's only going to be a day. I'm so fun with that one. Maisha Griffin, she is a project manager.

She's celebrating with her girlfriend. Fingert project manager. I don't know what, but her girlfriends are gonna be here. This is quite a thing to celebrate being a project manager. You have something else you wanna say about that storm? Well, does she have a lead's project manager yet? Or... So... So the search...

He wants to reading his sheet and he's like, for you get no fault, me or animal. Primary doesn't like fish, but she's asked for surf in turf. It really doesn't make sense unless... Sextual wants to surf and then own a neighborhood. I'm not really sure what to do with this. Very confused. Do you think she would be upset if I put a mirror sexualist to surf and then own a neighborhood. I'm not really sure what to do with this. Very confused.

Do you think she would be upset if I put a mirror glaze over some sea bass? Yes. So, just like... What if I shape the sea bass like a square and then cover it in shiny purple goo? And then if I say it's actually a shape of a boat, do you think they would like that?

I don't know, but they want a local areas to come on board. And as it turns out, the owner has a connection to a famous Maltese pap star. Okay, I'll just go leave you a moment to think about that concept. Okay, her name is Destiny. She's not a child, it's Destiny's adult. And she is gonna be a surprise to the guests. A surprise, mainly not because I'll be like, oh my God, it's Destiny, but mainly to say, oh, there's another person on board. It'll be that kind of surprise. No, it's fairly good to know who she is,

but that's part of the fun, isn't it? I think we're also gonna just bring someone else in a dress and we're gonna say choose who's the pop star and then make them both do the drive The bike drive which is what twerking was originally called so Dave is going to do a Moroccan theme for lunch and then we see Storm and Natalia hanging out in rooms just talking there

They're talking about their relationship again about like they kind of like recalibrate from their fighting yesterday And they're just on the same page now and storm storm tells us it's not the first time I've been told to slow down I mean when I was five is all the one blazing to a green light and I definitely got a ticket It's still hurt God you never really forget your first of driving defensive driving course to you Nobody or not But I have to compartmentalize if things things go sideways with Jason, then it all goes to shit. So, getting to your white, 30 minutes, getting to your white, sorry, ladies, you're coming, I see him coming.

Wait, hold on, they're using slow mo right now, which really doesn't work with my sense of urgency. Can we speed up the tape, please? Like, why don't they make all the guests look like they're walking like, boom! It's a top gun. Like why don't they make all the guests look like they're walking like boom Gun It's like the highway to the hug zone To my friends you know away

So They're like we're here honey. It's this big group of ladies and Kyle's like oh my god Oh, I can just tell this gonna be and And Sandeys like All right ladies welcome to your home away from home. God, it never gets old because it's a new joke for you I love having material ready to go anyway. Let's go on a boat tour, huh?

so having material ready to go. Anyway, let's go on a boat tour, huh? So Tosh gives the tour and storm, they're getting their luggage and storms like, don't put the Gucci on the ground boy. That was really funny. And then one of the ladies says, like, Natasha, Natasha, can you dance? Can you dance? We'd love to dance. And she's like, I can dance here, I got not the waltz. Not the waltz. All right, let me, let me try, let me try this one. I don't even know what that is. You're just holding one arm in the air and turning in a circle. No, now you're just in the corner crying and texting. just in the corner crying and texting. So actually the truth is that what the truth is that when the lady Natasha said like, oh this is the place where you can dance and they said, oh can you dance?

And out of nowhere Natasha was like, oh boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like she was just like go, like her whole body was working. She was doing it. I was like, first of all, I was like, whoa, you're flexible. But it was like, it was like from zero to 60 with the dancing. It was like one moment to stand in there, her ass and they were all cheering. Yeah. And then they're talking about the food and Whitley. Of course the pain in the ass in this group is a really spiritual person named Whitley. Okay. Of course. And she's like, um, is there going to be a non-meat option? Because like, I definitely don't want salads the whole time.

Yeah. Well, that's pretty much where you're going to get, although if you say your vegan, I'm just going to say that right now. That's just what you're coming your way. So, um, uh, so yes, so they, I, I was also amused that her name was with Whitley, because I just saw an interview with Jasmine guy last week. Yeah, different worlds. Yeah, Whitley has been very top of mind for me, which is really happy. That's like, yeah. I don't think Whitley's ever left my mind.

So that show. True. I mean, I think we were both Jasmine Guy enthusiasts, but I wanted to see her in Chicago. She did Chicago somewhere, some place. And I was like, I have to go see Jasmine Guy. And I would love to say it was sold out, but I think my mom is just like, no. So anyway, it's one of the things I want to see really. Ryan Murphy loves putting actresses who haven't really

worked in a big way in a while in his stuff. Let's get Jasmine guy to the front of that line, please. Right. Some American horror story with Jasmine guy. So then a super professed moment by Kyle. He goes, oh, don't forget the Japanese bedais. Sitting there and getting the phenomenally ass. Wow, everyone loves that visual of your corner, Kyle.

You're fired. The fuck off the spoke, Kyle. Makes me so excited for my first date with Frank. Like who's Frank? So someone's like wow the inside of this boat oh Whitley she goes wow the inside of this boat really has great energy shut up Whitley okay. No one needs your energy reading it's like wow

congrats you did yoga one time like we don't all need your energy reads Whitley. Yeah, she wants to sage the outside of the boat, but the inside's great. She says, I kind of feel like if the outside's great, I don't feel like you don't have to worry about the outside. So now they time to leave the porre and they leave in, they get by the dolphins

without a problem and everyone's taking selfies. And then Natasha's coordinating with Destiny's manager because Destiny's even come on board around 7.30 or whatever. And then we'll be talking to Zee and she's like, so like what sign are you? And he's like, I'm a Libra, the dishwasher sign. And she goes, oh my god, I love that for you. Yeah, you're a person that deserves to be admired. You're a beautiful being. You can't get this. I'm like way too hot for you, but I hope someone down at your level will admire you. She's handsome a dollar. Get out of here. And then he tells us, wow, so beautiful.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownal are, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking,

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So then we go to Kyle and Talia and he's like, well, they've only got seven. I think I should be the eighth guest. I really think they like my cornhole humor. But you already act like the eighth guest. So you might as well continue to be that. Okay, Carl. So, um, let's see. So the boyfriend, Texas, Texas, how do you even say that? Texas, Texas, Texas. He texts Tasha, who else. And he's like, well, I mean, if you're not really willing to try me, I mean, you could at least try for your soul mate, then this is going to be over. This will be over if you don't even, what do you want her to do? She's mopping. You're likely for a while. I know. He understands yachts, okay?

And then Natalia is watching Tasha of Taxi. Who's Taxiing? She's so nosy. The thing is that Natalia is she is so nosy and so bratty, but she's also been mostly right and literally every situation I've found, but she is so bratty. And Satasha's like, nobody. There wasn't anyone. There was never a phone in my hands.

You can't do that to me. I'm not dying. Don't. So myisha comes downstairs to check out the galley and she's in that long hallway thing and she goes, what's this area? And kind of goes, it's the pantry. She's, oh wow. Oh, I see the lamp. Now isn't that lucky that you guys cleaned that pantry? Could you imagine if she walked into

what it looked like the rest of the time? Yeah, exactly. Sandy had a point. I mean, my initial would be like, I'm gonna vomit in my mouth, in my mouth. So, I am Dave. Dave is like, she's saying that she loves lamb and Dave's like Recently I've been confused a bit more, you know because instead of having that one direct path

Which was Tosh Tosh Tosh Tosh Tosh Tosh you know the last child it was so epic. I just I want to keep it going so now I'm I'm I'm thinking about food now. I'm like what what is this epiphany that you're having? That like, as a chef, you've started to like consider the plates you put out there? Yeah, I think he's focusing more on work instead of having girl time. And he's like, you know, preferences weren't the clearest.

And it's not ideal, but I'm gonna try the best I can to give them what they want. I was like, are you sure you're not still talking about Tosh? Yeah, and it's funny because my instinct was to say, like, wow, good luck pulling off surf and turf, which to me is like a pretty basic thing. But then, you know, that does get fucked up later on. So, you know what? I'll just shut my mouth. That is true though. He's like, oh God, what am I going to do? A stake in lobster tail.

God, it took me all my time to come up with that. I know. It's like it's the most basic. So there's just more like yacht fun happening. The women are drinking, Tasha's making strawberry mojitos, which was like, even though I hate strawberry, I was like so happy it was not some sort of like bright green ecto cooler watermelon like ginger coffee concoction, you know. Right. So Storm's like well obviously Jason's leaving this lot going on, lot of moving parts,

and I know I need to name a new deck hand, because we're lacking hierarchy and respect. That's what we need on this boat. And that's what happened with Jason. I'm like, no, Jason was just kind of like, this is a deck. It was a deck. By everybody on the boat.

Well, he was, but he was also kind of a deck. It was like, well, it was like a, it was like a, the, perfect storm that everyone clicked up, but then he also was a dick. So then people, like, have made people click harder, like, click up even harder, but then it made him more of a dick. It's great. I love that. It was fun. Mm-hmm. So then Kyle brings in Kess Kess. So he calls it to the table and the chef is like, he goes to say hi to the ladies for lunch and he's like, so the Carolyn broccoli is smoke and the lamb is sous vide.

I was just trying to cater for everyone. I hope I did it right. I hope I did it right. They're like, yeah, that's great. You made couscous for us. We're cool. Everything's cool. Everything's cool.

So then it's fine. He's like, so you don't need time alone. No. All right. Is my head ahead? Where's the potato? Other question. This shot. Is this ginger or is it oil? That's oil. Did I just serve you lamb or bean bags? So then Sandy is like, hey, Norima, it's me, your old friend, the sandmeister. Yeah, what is it? Oh, again, she's what are you doing to him over there?

You're going through him as fast as I can spit him out. I feel like a cattle farm that can't keep up with McDonald's for Craig's sake, woman. Well, listen, I was trying my best with this one. He has big floppy hair. I thought he'd last a long time, but you know, we, uh, I was trying my best with this one. He has big floppy hair. I thought he'd last a long time, but you know, we, uh, but he's leaving. So we're going to need a new person. You got someone from eNorma? Oh, God.

I thought I was doing your right when I sent you man, but you know, no one could make a man fun, feel more hugged than you, Sam. I'll give you that. All right. Let me go through the file of losers. Whoa. Looks like I got one hair ready to go. Oh, good. Does he have a bad attitude and a questionable work ethic? All right, let me go through the file of losers. Whoa, looks like I got one here ready to go.

Oh, good. Does he have a bad attitude and a questionable work ethic like the people you normally send me? Extremely inexperienced. You're gonna love him. Do you think he might raise the chance of us going around or capsizing? Because that's the only person I want to have on this boat.

Definitely. If we don't get that thing completely sideways by the end, my name's not Norma. I want to make sure his work experience is limited to um John but juice and I will also accept Hertz rental car. Let me put it this way. If I had to describe what kind of win this kid is I would say fart. Fart will do it for me. Okay Norma you got yourself a deal. Send in my way. All right. Later loser. Later bitch. So court me is like, wait a minute.

Is what's his bones Jason being nice to us right now? And he's like, yeah, strangely. I don't like seeing Jake. I don't like seeing ZB. Read it. People just because court me. Yes. It just because Courtney yes, it bugs me. Get away from Courtney. Yeah, but Jason's also doing that thing where now that he's quit,

he's gonna be like super nice and helpful, but you could have been doing all along, you know? Well, yeah, because he's happy. He's in a good place now, you know, it's like Friday for him. He's like, yes, let's get that anchor in my rapage. Yeah, so now there's more cleaning. There's gonna be a Hawaiian theme dinner and then the loud, the sundae

is where the music's gonna be. So that's gonna be like a multi-z lounge jacks. They gotta figure that out. And go like, Oh my gosh, it goes. I'm like, you should go. So Jason, you're gonna take us out on jet skis, right? And he's like, yeah, like if you've been drinking,

then it's gonna be me. She goes, oh, I've been drinking. She takes off her top. I was like, yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha. Finally Jason's having a great day and now it's over. Seriously. So then Kyle's like, Dave, do you have a menu for tonight?

He's like, surf and turf. And it tells us tonight for dinner, they wanted surf and turf, which confused me since some people don't eat meat. But normally I do beef and lobster, but three people don't like lobster. So it's going to be a tough one. I'm like, how about shrimp? Can you do shrimp? He's like, I like that. It's like hard from the pivot away from lobster. Like after lobster, what's left to do with the surf and turf? Literally everything. Scalops, shrimp.

I'm surprised for the vegan. He didn't think of like a seaweed salad and like some roasted potatoes or something. I was admittedly confused by the vegan too because she seemed to be vegan but was down for fish. I don't understand it really. Yeah, I don't either. But Z is calling for storm. And he's like, some

castor on Jetsky, some on Slides. And I just wanted to report that to you. Just in case, you know, you have to give everyone a raise, at least you know, who's on Slides and who's on Jetsky's. He's like, appreciate you, man. Appreciate you. Storm is so tortured by the stupid decision. He's like, well, I want to put in a lead position in my team And I have to choose between a really good friend who's working really hard and then caught on a hookon who can who can twerk and Ride a little boat and it's it's just so hard. I don't know what to do it and because I don't want to cause any drama with Z I'm like Has there ever been drama with Z? I like like I'm sorry. I can't get invested in this because we all know what Z is going to do. He'll be like

It's all right, man. I washed dishes before I don't really understand why it's that big of a deal like Z's done it longer So I say give it to Z is I mean what are they they're making it sound like Z's kind of fucking up and Courtney's been really great and amazing Courtney's starting to push but the buttons on the tender. You know what I mean? Because Z is not that experience. Wasn't it last season that he was just learning everything? All of last season was like, okay Z, this is how you use a zipper. He's like, oh, right, man, great, cool. So he's pretty, they're both, I think, Z and Courtney

are roughly around the same experience level. Yeah, at this point, just play rock paper scissors and be done with it. Because I don't think that there's anyone who deserves a gold medal. No one deserves to be like shit on either, but yeah. It's also not clear what a lead deck hand actually does, so there's that too. Yeah, so he's like, well, I don't even have to ask her to do things. She allows me to think of other things. So I want to choose her, but it's gonna hurt see. And captain goes, well, you know, you

do it based on performance and he goes, thank you. Thank you for that. Wow, what a huge epiphany. So, so now everyone's getting dressed for dinner and it's time to pack up the slide. And then Natalia's done another like really amazing tablespoon. She had the decor, super Hawaiian, and she took these little birds, and she attached them to napkin rings, which just looked amazing.

And Kyle's like, cute! I love it! This might be some of the best work you've ever done so far. Or the end of the week. It's like, I've got is supposed to be something coil. And then the chef is still agonizing that one person doesn't eat meat. And it's like, uh, uh, Natasha's like, wait

let she eat shrimp and see this. Yeah. Potato. She only wants to eat that cat that you put your in right now. The good cat. This isn't a cat. This is meat. Cat meat. God, what have I done? See with you, baby.

Dave, are you going to let that giant sea bass ever? Do you mean the toaster? It's a sea bass. No, it's a pretty short toaster. Dave, I get tired. It's a sea bass. Just cut right into it. Should I unplug it first? You can't unplug a sea bass. Just cut into it, Dave. Well, all right. If she says the sea bass, I'll just stick my knife right in.

Oh! Let's just see bass. Never stick your mouth in a potato, Dave. So then the sound tech arrives for destiny. And the sound tech is doing the Barnum and Bailey circus. Like, I don't know what shit you're bringing in to press play on iTunes. But you don't need that much. It looks like a real housewives ultimate girls trip unpacking. What the fuck? I know. Just bring your karaoke amp on board and be done. Like, that's all we need. So all this stuff is coming on. It's heavy and people are carrying it and it's really really heavy and then Taria's like,

do you think they better be really good at singing for all the stuff we have to carry? That's a lot of crap for when song, okay So then a Tasha and Kyle she's like, Kyle, could you think of a cool destruction for 15 seconds? Well, she gets on the boat. He's like, maybe on flesh and the pain, I guess. The last thing we want is for the guests to see Destiny on board and say, Hey, look, a stranger just got on board. Maybe she's lost. Should we send her back?

Yeah. A stranger just got on board. Maybe she's lost. Should we send her back? I'm a gold. We don't want them to say it's a destiny the multi-spot star We don't want them to say oh, damn. I wish I brought all my destiny CDs for destiny the parties pop star to sign I know that God has not bring your daughter to work day. The ladies really would have been excited. I'm stupid. So. Well, you know that that's what they're always gonna call our kids. Oh, my God.

Destiny's child. She's like, I've way more equipment than those betjes. She's like, I never should have named myself this. You know what, I'm changing my name to my Donna. So then, I mean, Tasha's like, Oh, hi, this, to me. We need to make it surprise so that, don't see you look beautiful.

I love you here. I'm just not looking for a relationship right now. So I'm hoping we can just be friends. Destiny's like, are you breaking up with me? Sorry, Destiny. It's just not a destiny. Destiny. I'll call that's good. I'm going to write that down.

What's I wrote it in the text? I just sent it to law and accident. Now I'm in real trouble. What a humbinger. Yeah, this is a good opportunity for me to tell you all something more about myself. I'm not much of a singer, but I've done major arts for nine years. I started at the age of six, and whatever boat I go on, where if I go in the wild, I bring my baton with me, and people say, what are you doing with the crazy baton on this boat?

That serves no purpose. And I say it's not a baton. It's a guitar. It doesn't really work on too many people, but Dave should make up. Is confused by it. I love the dramatic monologue about her bringing a baton because she did major ads. I need to ask her music playing over it. The personality inside that serves absolutely nothing for no reason. And they even have a little clip like cell phone footage of her twirling a baton and a cat.

Dave, did you see this footage of me making a pizza pie? I'm pretty sure it's just a double stick. It's a pizza, Dave. So it's dinner and everybody loves the table and it's time to serve. And so he's like, all right, man, listen Kyle, here's what I need you to do. You need to ask some sea bass or wild goose steak. And I was like, all right, so it's not safe and cheap. Wine style. Just here. so they need to choose. So he goes up stairs and

he's like, Seafantirth, all right, what do you want? Seabass steak. And someone's like, I thought it was both of those things. So he goes, oh, you can do both except Whitley, of course, you know, so go down. So he goes down, he's like, Dave, they want half and half. And he's like, but some people don't eat meat. Dave's like, no, the surf and surf is that the steak comes with scallops and the sea bass was a backup. It's like, you literally never said that, Dave. You said, tell them there was a choice between steak and sea bass.

Right. So then he's like, yeah, some people don't eat meat. Scalip is a surf. Seabass is the meat replacement. And so now he's like, and now Kyle's done this. So now he's basically ordered another course. Now what do I do? Go upstairs and say, guys, I confuse Kyle. There's steak and there's scallops, but the sea bass is for whoever is not having meat. So who's that? That's it. That's all you have to do. I mean, what the hell? This group is so chill, they would not have minded whatsoever, you know. So now, Dave is like, now I have to do emergency sea bass.

Whatever would I do? Did you say something Dave? No. So now he's gonna make sea bass for everyone, which is crazy. So then, who's my? Let me see. So now he's gonna make sea bass for everyone, which is crazy. So then who's my, let me see. Can myisha maybe? Oh, myisha, yeah. So myisha's. That's all I had to say.

Myisha's there, no, just kidding. Myisha's hungry. So they're talking about dating and she's like, oh my God, and if you're dating, that gets expensive. And so now the food comes out and the sauce is vegan and he's like and if you guys want sea bass too I can do around of that Are you gonna eat it? I'm just like yes

Think the quietest guy asking us if we want the sea bass that he's making us so weird Yeah, I feel like the the coursing of the sea bass Like I feel like this is a pretty weak dramatic storyline for this episode. It's like, but now will they have Seabass? So now, so he's like rushing, but then they're like ready for the Seabass. So it's like, oh no, will the Seabass be ready in time? But of course it will be because it probably takes like five minutes to cook, you know?

So he's like basting up really quickly. And then Sandy, Sandy comes around. She does her little like, hey, so I was dinner tonight. Was it good? Yeah. Do you want to hear some stories about Somali pirates? Or do you want to hear about how Jason doesn't mesh well with the crew, whichever one you want? I heard the story today. I really enjoyed it. I said, that give me the details. Now it's all the ladies tonight. Have I ever told you the have I told you the one about Saddam Hussein making me a birthday cake that look like Shirley Temple when he stole my boat and I rack?

It's a good one. Come on, have a seat, everybody. Hardy sitting, perfect. Hey, how about the time when Jeremy Ranier and I went to various villages and stopped bombs. It's called the Hurt Locker. It's also what I call my arms when you're feeling hurt my hug you. I trained dumbledore. That's a secret. Used to work on a boat. He was a stool.

Hey, do you ever hear the story about one time I took a mobster's wife out to dinner and we danced. She had a hairpin over dose so we had to put a needle through her heart and then I actually wound up getting shot and killed in a shower afterwards, but that happened before. So it was confusing, you know. I ended up a gimp. It's so crazy. Okay. Storytimes over.

Enjoy your sea ass or whatever you're bringing in you. Anyway, there's someone extremely famous upstairs. Oh, did I spill the beans? Anyway, very, very famous person's upstairs. Beyonce! Okay, that's SNF, I'm gonna go to bed. So Natasha's asking if Kyle's gonna watch the song. And he's like, what a bunt tube.

Oh, coctolia, she's stuck on the kebabings. And so now the big distraction is everyone ready for dessert on the Sunday. And they're like, oh my god, you have so many surprises. What's upstairs? And Destiny's like, hello everyone, it's Destiny, Maltese Popstar. So tonight I'll be performing a very special song to very special ladies. And the funny part is that when they all walk upstairs,

they all like shuffle by a destiny. There's no like grand entrance for Destiny. She's just already standing there. They shuffle by and they're like, oh, oh, we haven't met you yet, but we love those strawberry mojitos. Can we get another one of those? I am multi-spawn star So she starts acapella and she's like, hey, yeah, I'm not your baby

Like yeah, it looks that's today. She's good. I mean like I'm ready for her US breakthrough like this is she the next stop for her It's gonna be a love island cameo because once a season they put a pop star in the love island backyard of the villa And that there's always a pop star who's like seeing their ass off and then there's like five people dancing like The light ladies and gentlemen Becky Hill and they all cheer. So I think that's the next stop for her. Uh, and it's an empowering song. And I was like, I'm not your honey.

No, I don't need money. So babe, you're not my baby. I'm too good to be true. So there's nothing there for you. I'm like, yeah. Sam's like, now this is what you call a jive. Okay, one, two, three. Let's do it.

Jason, school's free today. Class is in session. And they actually, as one point where you see Jason clapping, and he like clapped in such a strange, he like, like for me, I feel like most people in the clap, they have their four fingers, their non thumb fingers hit the palm of their other hand, right? Like I feel like that's pretty standard.

Or maybe sometimes it's like palm on palm, but it's usually something like that. But he was doing like fingertip on fingertip clapping. It's like the strangest clap I've seen since Nicole Kidman. They have a name for that clap. It's called used to be in finance clap. So then I love when they show the captain dancing and she's doing the finger pointing up and then the finger pointing down like the disco dance. It's like, wow, it's been a while, huh?

Yeah, this is this is how I went over those pirates, I said, nothing can heal like dance. Let's just go. Holy canole, she's freaking awesome. To kill it on a short chart, you have to create memorable moments. That was it. God, is canole holy? It's God, not only rhymes, but it tastes like a miracle.

Right. The guests were like, wow, how cool is it that the stew is also a pop star? Anyway, let's go downstairs and get drunk. So then the technical guy needs help packing up the touring production of cats or whatever. And he needs help. And so he's like, well there's a lot of stuff but he starts doing it and the ladies are teasing him. They're like, oh my god, you're the only one helping and the tall you see.

He's like, what are we helping? What are we helping to see? That's it. No one's helping to see. You're kidding? He could door right now. You know, and the other people, they would help us in an instant. And the majority of the time, we aren't even doing anything. It's just lighting this pure lighting.

Yes. So then she goes into the galley where Kyle is pouring shots and Natasha is cleaning. It's actually a rare moment where the two of them are doing something productive. And she's like, oh, you guys see, you really need your help with cleaning up its stuff. Okay. Okay. And Kyle's like, pardon. And, and I was like, that's tough, it's so heavy.

And he was logging you down himself, and I don't do deep, okay? And Natasha's like, but I'm just making drinks for the gas. Carl says, right now, on main priorities, guests. It's like, well, the guests can take five minutes, all right, they can wait. And they're like, what else? And whatever. And so Talia is now on Z. She's like, Z next time, if you

need help, you need to ask for it. This is actually, I just went on the record saying Natalia is writing them in like every situation. And I think she's actually not writing this one at all. She's like being totally rude to her superior. And Natasha was, Natasha and Kyle were attending to the guest in this moment. So I say point for Natasha. Yeah. And so Natasha is like, well, she's not the easiest person. It's starting to feel like she wants to undermine me.

Makes me wonder if maybe I should be in a relationship with her. So Kyle still got that good old fashioned pantry anger. Yeah, mix my wonder if maybe I should be in a relationship with her. So Kyle's still got that good old fashioned pantry anger. He's like, we were gonna air solve. She's the one who maintains the pantry so wonderfully. I mean, it's a young girl thing, strong to figure out what things happen the way they do. You're so mad at.

Oh my God, calm down. Yeah, because she's not, because Natalia is not like being like, oh my God, you need some mad ad, oh my God, calm down. Yeah, because Natalia is not like being like, oh my God, you're amazing Kyle. She's like giving it back to him in a way that like, he's the only one who's allowed to give it like that. And we know, because I'm like that too. I'm like, wait a second, you're sassing me back, I'm gonna cry.

So, the, now there's just partying and dancing and drinking and cleaning is just partying and dancing and drinking and cleaning and More partying and more cleaning. I mean the Kyle I will say Kyle and Natasha are like definitely working It seems like they're working harder on this charter at night And I want free five to guess I'll go down to bed and everyone goes to sleep So this morning and Natalia passes Tasha and the pantry. She has paid recent a great place. You are not the boss man. You comments.

Natalia, I just did up for you and now you're making me have to eat my words the same recap. And then Tasha's like, yeah, he's so then down in laundry, storm is just stressing because he's going to crown court me. But he's going to talk to them individually, but oh my God, hopefully Z takes it like a champ. Oh goodness, because he always flies off the handle every episode. So I know that Z, you gotta watch out for him. So then Dave makes some breakfast burritos and stuff

and then Sandy's looking at her radar and there's a bunch of yellow stuff on it. She goes, oh man, it's coming right for us. Another multi-spawn star, everyone to the roof. Get up there now. So she's decided because of the weather, she's gonna stay here on the water and they're gonna have to take the tender back in.

I think that the parking's races, I think I said this already, but I think they're just, she's like, I think I said this already, but I think they're just, she's like, I'm sick of parking. We're sending everybody on this tender for now on. I think so. I think she's looking for excuses not to go back because like they've hit that dolphin every single episode and just, she's just getting embarrassed now. She's like, I cannot be worse than Glenn. I will miss this. Hello, Norma. What is it? Sandy, I can see on my monitor's you spring mustard on the windscreen. Okay, I can see you doing that. It's not mustard. It is wind. It's terrifying.

Sandy, it's mustard. Shut up. You dumb bitch. Norma, I'm so sick. You I'm black in your number. You know what fucking Norma you ever heard about? Grape Pond storms before. Okay, when's coming? It happens. It's not crazy to see mustard on a radar. Okay. Would you know that? That's a fair and all. Yeah, it's staffer. So It's not crazy. See mustard on a radar. Okay. Would you know that's that see fair and all Yeah, our staffers, so I don't want to hear another word out of your norms So then Courtney and Tali and Kyle and it's like coming out tonight Courtney's like yeah, I'm just gonna dress more chill tonight Jackie, I'm really in the chill zone. We still go, oh, oh, no, you're not getting chill with me.

You were getting serious with me. So, Kyle, we're talking about here, we're dressing tonight, leasing before you speak, Kyle, wouldn't it, Ed? And he gives her such a glare as he walks out. He just looks her up and down like, slot or not.

She's the non-Frank of girls. So, so then Kyle's like, I've worked with individuals individuals like Natalia. It's not my fifth radio and it's only getting to worse. And at some point, I feel like Natalia needs to be put in a place, which is the moment we saw in the trailer, where this is all gonna go to shit in a terrible way. I can't wait.

Yeah. So everybody's like, bye, bye, bye. Thanks for coming, bye. And Natalia and Kyle are joking, Kodakwa, about like switching for middle position in the line. And Maisha says, everybody's wonderful and patient. And hopefully we meet again and then hands over her water cash. Yeah. And Kyle goes, thank you for bringing the blessings.

What are you talking about? So they're changing to reds now. It's time for the the blessings. What are you talking about? So they're changing to reds now it's time for the tip meeting and Sandy is like, Hey, you guys from the interior to exterior, interior to exterior. Okay, both sides you killed it. Okay, and I just want to say Jason, you've always been awesome on deck. The way you tie the wrong knots and don't clean things right and then yell at everyone else. I'm just grateful for that You know, and I found someone Norma got me someone they say he's never been on a boat before he thinks a shovel is us as a map and He may have actually murdered a few people. So he's coming tomorrow. Can't wait

Yeah, I asked his favorite role, but he said Fenty Frappuccino, so that was fun. So thanks for working so hard, Jason, okay? We got $14,000, which is really good for one day. Yeah, seriously. Really bang. So Storm says that he'll do anchor watch and now everybody's claiming, claiming,

and then more text from law. He's like, I love you. And I just hope that that's the case in a few weeks. Oh, you're threatening to fall out of love with me because I won't quit my job and come home. Fuck you, fuck off. Hang up on him, block his number. Yeah, so she goes off to cry and she's like,

These messages from my poor friend, I try to ignore them, but I'm a past and who, and I have feelings. And obviously as a leader in my position, you don't want anyone to see a breakdown. Michael, I'm not doing such a great job of it. She's on the captain's radio. I'm sorry, I accidentally pushed and spoke instead of spoken, pushed.

So I think I'll crew Everyone everyone Tasha everyone everyone Tasha. I'm just a person Kyle see here's her and so he checks on her and she's like I just feel so lost And he goes what the fuck am in like this tool to you? I don't know And he goes, what the fuck am I like this told you? I don't know, I just feel like running away forever. I just start wanting to face it. We like until you've got a job to do

and you've got always on you. That's your own business. That's an Italian. I get a custom Italian who's actually working. Yeah, I didn't even notice that. That's so funny. That should be a mean focus. I'm not even joking. I'm dead I serious. That's like his thing that he says now when no one's questioning like as he is, it'll be like, I'm hungry right now

I'm gonna have his naked spot. I'm dead I serious. It's like no, we believe you dead I serious Now more teased to cry only happy pain disease to cry only happy pain you see. So now they are all getting dressed to go out to go out and Jason's outside like texting and everyone's liking good spirits Kyle isn't his anything goes poster outfit. He's pants pulled up to his boobs and his flowy white blouse and buttoned all the way. White blouse, and buttoned all the way. That's, I love that outfit. It does. It's, it's, it's not the anything goes.

He just needs like a little like, a little like scarf ribbon in front of him. So then they all get into the water taxis and then Ty was talking to Storm and she, cause he's like, he's wearing all black and has a little hat on and she's like, she's like, you're like that child who rid bills. He's like half emo and listen to like four at board.

And it's like, oh, I hate my dad. Like why don't you play baseball with me? It's probably like a hundred percent accurate. He's like put away. Sometimes net thinks I look totally different than I really look. Like, no, she caught that one. You're giving me points. So in one car is Natalia and Courtney and she's like,

fun car, fun car. What do you, what do you think about Jason leaving? That's talk about it. And Courtney's like, where if I was Jason, I would have come over and said something to the dead crew. I mean, if that was me, I would have said on leaving. You're the reason he's leaving you, dick. Also, I'm really sorry about your dad and for calling you dick right now, but still. So they all arrive at this restaurant and Natalia's talking to Storm and she's like,

she's like, oh, I'm sorry, she's not talking to Storm, she's just talking to the table and she's like, oh, you guys, Navez, he's gonna join the time and they're just sort of talking about this new person and Storm is saying that like well the new deck hands either going to take Courtney by storm or Natalia by storm and Z makes a joke about he's like oh is he the lead deck handle ready and then Courtney is like there's a new lead deck and and so now they're talking about they're being a lead

deck and and storm since he's wasted already starts getting all, like things are happening in his head, like he's getting nervous about, like, oh my God, I have to have this conversation right now. Yeah, so he pulls Courtney and Zia side who are also wasted. I mean, their eyes are crossing. So I don't know what happened between the car and now,

but they are shit-based. Yeah. So he pulls them aside and he's like, uh, we don't know the new person, isn't he? Or she might through a complete span and the works. All right. And Courtney goes, you have to choose Lee, don't you?

He's like, yeah, and it's not something against anyone. I would just like to say, Courtney, I'm going with you and you make it what you want. I just want to make sure you make it what you want. Yeah, and she's like, oh my God. And she's like, I don't understand this stress because like, Z is your boy and we bounce off each other. So even though you're making it me, you know,

it'll stay the same. It'll totally stay the same. And Z has that like wasted look where his eyelids are like half down and he's like, there's no need for explanation. So like when my dad would say you got to clean the dishes, I didn't have to question it. I knew dishes with dirty, it has to question it. I knew dishes were dirty.

It has to get done. I'll tell you right now, no hard feelings whatsoever. And then he tells us it's quite disappointing and it really unexpected. And then he gulps. He's like, loop. And so then they come back to the table and now it's really awkward. And I like this was the worst move. I came up with a leave.

He just did that. Yeah. And so Natalia was like well just hair pinned and he's like well I made him a lead deck and she's stormed. Come and see him. He don't do that when we're at a bar My plan. Well look at Z look how sad he is like he's chuckling but chuckling in a sideway look now is happy Now is dancing only sad people are happy and dance like that. G Now is dancing only sad people are happy and dance like that. Gee. A Z looks really upset. She's like, look at his face.

You don't do that drinking. It's just the shittiest thing that you've done. All right, you say you have a conversation tomorrow morning. Well, being dead is all. Move on, let's have a drink. Do you feel lighter now? And he's like, well, I did feel lighter until I sat down at this table.

And he gets up and storms off, putting the storm and storming off. He's like, I'm gonna me off right now. So, he's like, he's like, he's like, get the fuck out of my life, fuck off. I'm done with this shit. I'm done. And if you say that I'm an emo right now,

how dare you, well, I guess I am being an emo, not think about it. I'm taking time to call my father and ask him why I didn't play baseball with me. Fuck off. Fuck off. Call that one right again. And that was the cliffhanger. call my father and ask him why I didn't play baseball with me. So cool. Cool. Cool. That one right again.

And that was the cliffhanger. It was like such that they made it so to be continued that they didn't even show a scene from next week. And, you know, like no fans, but like I think we, I think we're allowed to see some scenes from next week. I don't know why I had to be that severe of a cliffhanger. Like give us something. I want to see what happens on an air, but we'll fly mail.

We certainly will, everyone. Thank you for listening. We'll be back later this week with real girlfriends in Paris and Beverly Hills and Salt Lake City, all that good stuff. So we'll catch you in the next one. Bye everyone. Bye.

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