Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Failing to Meet Eggs-pectations

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

As the Below Deck Med season limps to the finish line, Matthew gets on our every last nerve with his incessant emotional neediness. Meanwhile, Katie's boneheaded decision to end the season wi...th two stews comes back to haunt her as Jemele Hill, Michael Eaves, and several other guests make an endless stream of requests.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,
Starting point is 00:00:18 or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Kids one happens when this one happens Hello and welcome to watch our crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about I'm Ben Maddleker Joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Rani Karen. Heyani, what's up? Wahaban, how are you, huh?
Starting point is 00:01:07 Oh, God, Rani, I hope you like my performance on today's podcast. Oh, do you like me, am I funny, Rani? I just can't take any criticism at all. Oh, I hope Captain Sandy likes me. Welcome to another below deck, mad recap. And this one is the one where Matt, as usual, makes me wanna pull all the hair out of my head.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Oh my God. Seriously. Oh my God, everyone's gonna be as bald as him by the time he finishes frustrating the hell out of all of it. Now, luckily I'm already bald, but girl, I'll stress eat myself into a coma from this guy. He's stressing me out. He's so deeply awful. So you guys, first of all thanks everyone who came to take a seat last night. It was really great. If you missed it don't worry we're doing it every Monday, every Monday
Starting point is 00:02:02 night. So just download the Spotify green remap and But thanks for everyone who showed up and participated. It was super fun. I don't have anything else to really plug I mean, I think we I say we just jump right into this. It's a blow deck. Let's jump Jump right into it. It's a pen ultimate episode which means it's almost done guy It's done next week. I have to say, ready for you to go season. This has been the week. It's been full of emotional people who can't work unless they have the right emotional environment to work in.
Starting point is 00:02:37 And I know that sounds harsh, but I was a trainer of waiters for a very long time. I had to hire staff and train people. And this is my worst nightmare. This whole season. It's like everyone freaking out like they can't do it just because they're feelings. Like fuck your fucking feelings and get to table number 12. Okay. They're waiting for their merges sausage appetizer. Yeah. I mean, I actually really like Lloyd. A lot of people were like, he's the most annoying person we've ever had. I actually like Lloyd quite a bit,
Starting point is 00:03:06 but it is kind of sweet guy. I don't even mean Lloyd as much as, because Lloyd had a panic attack. Like Lloyd looks like severe, like actual things that he needs to be treated for, right? It's like panic attack. That's like a serious thing, anxiety and stuff like that. So I'm not really digging in on anxiety
Starting point is 00:03:26 and that kind of stuff. It's more like Katie, just always stressing and then Matt, I just need to be fiendy to have good feelings where I'm gonna be a complete nightmare if people don't compliment me all the time. And then you've got David who's like, oh, I can't do that. I feel like I was being called to send it to.
Starting point is 00:03:43 It's like because you weren't padded on the head for you know one fucking Minute of your life on this ship, you know, it's every it's all of them. Yeah, it's just it's It just a few too many episodes. It should have been a 13 episode season and then it would have been great But it's been stretched out for so long. You're like, oh my god So previously speaking of Lloyd previously it was the Lloyd apocalypse where Lloyd is like I'm doing okay I'm nothing wrong. I'm just you know just just having some memories of previous boats where I wasn't safe And would I be safe afterwards? Like okay Lloyd bringing it to the scene you to the shore. Okay
Starting point is 00:04:21 Will I ever receive another hug on another boat besides this So Z is watching him leave and You know talking about how his chest was tied and Katie's like what does he have for blood pressure? Said in this tone of like doesn't he know it's only two stairs only two Yeah, gosh, I wonder why you'd have high blood pressure I'm saying now, it's only two stews, only two stews. Yeah, gosh, I wonder why you'd have high blood pressure. Maybe it's because he's being worked to the bone to cover up for the fact that you're only two stews.
Starting point is 00:04:51 And then you guys all end up the deck crew has to compensate for the lack of labor force on the interior. Maybe it's that. Maybe it's that. All right, team team Sandy, Sandy, crew crew Sandy, Sandy. So Lionel, Lion Sandy, Sandy. I don't care, I'm just gonna say different words and Sandy a lot. It's franklyon Salon Sandy Sandy. I don't care I'm just gonna say different words and say it's like frankly turns me on all right
Starting point is 00:05:09 As some of you know, okay, I'm glad we all gathered here in the salon as some of you know Lloyd is going ashore to take care of his chest pains and they're sending an ambulance to take his EKG And we just want to keep positive thoughts at Floyd. So if you could, or Lloyd, I should say, if you could take your positive thoughts and pretend their books and just throw them at Lloyd's head, there we go. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Now look, if you can't return,
Starting point is 00:05:35 you're gonna have, you know, you're gonna have to help on the interior and exterior. Everybody all hands on deck, which is his saying that actually makes more sense than ever right now. Doesn't Yeah. Okay, guys. And this is obviously a situation that we could have all foreseen as a potential outcome. And I'm sure it's something that Katie thought about before she decided to set Delaney, Lucen, Croatia with no guidance and gone away from far away from rebel. Yeah. And Malia is like, my first concern is Lloyd, but now we're running low. And when you go down and remember, by choice, this is what happens.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Zero room for error. Yeah. So the captain's like, okay, we're going to have to pour it out on ink or flank or flank or pour it out, whatever that means. Okay, it's the first time, guys. Okay, it's the first time we've had to do that. Did you understand what she said there? I don't even hear I didn't I didn't even notice that she said anything about pouring it out on an anchor or flinker
Starting point is 00:06:30 I mean, I'm the one who made nonsense about Delaney wandering and Croatia without guidance I don't even know what I'm saying to be honest, so I'm just like We're both going through it right now. So Provisions, provisions, and Katie goes three sleeps, which is kind of a funny call back to what's her face saying, you know, I can't even remember Lexi saying, you know, 12 sleeps or whatever. And I also, again, I got mad when she said three sleeps, because it's like, you would only be saying, you
Starting point is 00:07:00 wouldn't be saying three sleeps in that angry way. If you had Delaney, then it would be more like, Oh, three sleeps left. I'm so sad. And now it's like, Oh, three sleeps in that angry way if you had Delaney that would be more like oh Three sleeps left. I'm so sad. But now it's like oh three sleeps to get through this like you put yourself in that situation We have to say three sleeps Katie. Well, I just I just didn't like it because it three sleeps like that's not a universal Time right and so you say three sleeps. I'm like, oh my god. This show is gonna be done by two in the afternoon I'm like no, it's not on my sleeps. It's theirs. We're going to be here for fucking cover, you know? It's like, oh my god, it's almost over.
Starting point is 00:07:32 You know, when I chose to go down to East East, I didn't really consider losing a deck hand as well on my plane right now. It's a survive really Katie because all of us predicted that like what if what if a deck hand goes down because we've already had some issues with personnel? What if? So Malia's gonna take Lloyd's watch. David is gonna be alone in the morning and David's like, I've had my point, but I want to help wherever I can because that's what I'm here to.
Starting point is 00:08:01 I want to be there. I want to push us through. Be a hero if you will. Will you make love to me? No, just get to work please. Oh, that's fine. I totally respect your decision. I want to have wherever I can. Interior, exterior, on the deck, below the deck, on the bow, in Malia's vagina.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Wherever I can help, I will- oh, I just fell in, bruised my leg again. Sorry, everyone. I'll be in the galley resting So the guests are coming on a little boat over so they're coming and it's crystal Jamal in Genaro and they're all cheering W-W-W-W-B-Y-W-B which means yachting while black. Oh I was like just funny. So then Which means yadding while black oh Funny so then They get on the boat and they seem like they're gonna be a pain. Uh-oh You there darling. I'm here. Yeah. Oh you there. Did we quit? I did there with me right now?
Starting point is 00:08:56 I didn't quit to do it. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. You're a tierist. I'm actually still here and I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, maybe I'd lost. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm trying to send you a text to say I'm still here. But, you're text isn't going through. We're seems to indicate that it is I who have lost my way. The sad song of me. The sad song of me. The sad song of me. The sad song of me. The sad song of me. here but Texas isn't going through where it seems indicating that it is I who have lost my way. The sad song of Malia disappearing into the water. Ben, why did you hang up on me?
Starting point is 00:09:46 Ben, I'll see the clouds are shining through for you. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
Starting point is 00:11:02 crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. All right, so we finally connected again. And what were we talking about before we started singing to each other because we couldn't connect. So the guests come on the boat and they seem like they're gonna be up in the ass. You know, this shows really good at tricking us, but whenever someone comes on the boat and goes, do you have cigars? I'm like, oh no, because those are stinky.
Starting point is 00:11:33 And you're already asking for things and you're on a luxury vacation and didn't bring your cigars. You sound like a pain in the ass, but they turned out to not really be. Yeah, they're fine. I mean, Jamel Hill was on a season of below deck previously and she was, like, her crew was like a little demanding. I kind of felt like they were made to look very demanding, but this group was actually fine. And I feel like if they were to be demanding,
Starting point is 00:11:57 they deserve to be demanding, because this crew, they show up in Mac Gives and like the world's saddest guacamole. I mean, just this sad sad guacamole. I mean, I would be demanding after that. Um, so then Katie's showing them around like you and she's like, and this is the day head. And the guy's like, what? She goes a day head. And the guy's like, Oh, yeah, I'm going to catch this day head. Yeah. This love love the term for the bathroom, the party, the party squat. That's right. And then they go into the galley and I'm gonna catch this day head. Yeah, this love, love the term for the bathroom, the party, the party squat. That's right, and then they go into the galley,
Starting point is 00:12:28 and I'm like, hell's it going? This is my spot, do you like it? Do you like my dirt pile? I was finally able to make a dirt pile without anyone stepping in it, do you like it? Do you like it? So, I was thinking then,
Starting point is 00:12:43 do, well, we'll do family style, and then we'll be playin' it, does it sound good for you? And one of the guys is like, uh, yeah, we'll let you know how it tastes. And he's like, game on! Game on! Tell me you don't like it. And I'll sat for three days, quit the job through things around and go for a drug score in the city.
Starting point is 00:13:05 So then they're pulling up anchor and guess, I don't think guess knocks over a glass. And Jamal needs things steamed. And it's just like a lot of like people running around and stews being busy and everything. And then Matt tells us, in the middle of all this Matt tells us, oh, I get it's a cure whenever I get criticism, and even if it's the smallest thing, all I can think about is that piece of fish and I serve Sandy. Cause in the last episode, in case you forgot,
Starting point is 00:13:36 he served some fish to Sandy that was a little more gray than white and Sandy was like, oh, could you not serve that kind of fish? Like a pretty minor thing. And he was spiraling about it. Yeah, don't serve me the dark meat. He's like, oh, gosh. So now I have to try Mediterranean style fish.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Oh, see if I can get my head out of only thinking about brown fish. It's not your job for us to make you feel good. Make the fucking food and do it well. Okay. Yeah. Go away. Just want to shake it. I'm going to wind you feel good, make the fucking food and do it well, okay? Yeah. Go away. Just wanna shake it.
Starting point is 00:14:06 Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. Just wanna shake it. am I gonna tell Matt this because he had such bad reactions to things and she's like, I'm just trying to do my job and he needs to do his.
Starting point is 00:14:29 At the end of the day, I got nothing from nothing. She had it at the end of the day in there. So Matt asked her, and he said, well, and then we see Sandy calling Dr. Norma T. Time La. How's Lloyd doing over there? And well, let me tell you, this is what is happening with Lloyd. He is having a panic attack, because he is pussy. So I threw many dictionaries at his head and to leave reset. He just needs some time off.
Starting point is 00:14:58 No, actually I was wondering how Cinderella is coming along for Broadway. You know Andrew Lloyd Webber, don't you? God, what a talent that guy is. Yes, I was having a great time. Is Cinderella gonna open, yes or no? Yes, it will most likely open, but it will not be as successful as Joseph
Starting point is 00:15:11 at the amazing Technicolor Dreamcord, which is actually a beautiful parable about my life as a doctor. Thank you very much. Okay, so here's the update. I'm going, we did the ECT, and I'm going to observe Lloyd for an hour. Will he be playing any score from Cinderella?
Starting point is 00:15:28 Just gotta know. Could you ask him? So, um, meanwhile Katie breaks the news to Matt that the fish needed a little bit more flavor. He goes, oh, I just want to cry! She's like, well, you can cry in three days. Oh, I thought every fucking piece was perfect Oh, sorry I ruined the charter What do I know? So then Courtney is ironing and steaming and then
Starting point is 00:15:57 She comes to see or mac goes into the laundry area and he's like going so much over it I'm just over it. She's like oh God, I've got so much staming to do. It's the shit's trip, it's gonna be shit. Yeah, he is too like forever. He's totally the person that like goes and just bothers everyone with his insecurity and I know that person because that's me too. Okay, but I don't, you're not like this.
Starting point is 00:16:22 You're not like this. You're not like this. You're not like this. This is, you're not like this. This guy's ridiculous. So, to always, I mean, look, if you're going to ask for compliments, do it like me. Okay, this is how I do it. I mean, a compliment. Yeah, I love a compliment, please. Do it like I do. Yeah, post something on it. Yeah. Order it. You've got to ask life for what you want. Order your fucking compliment. I'll just tell you what I need, okay?
Starting point is 00:16:49 I don't fish for compliments. I literally just ask. Just like, just give it to me. Okay, I'm fishing too much effort. Just give me the compliment. Please tell me I look thin. I feel terrible. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:17:02 You look thin. Thank you. I'm fun. I'm fun. So now everyone's getting into wet suits and everything and David tells us in hindsight, I think it would be nice to have an extra deck hand. These guests in the water tours, well I would call it 10 out of 10 for effort. And then we see this one guy, this poor guy, I forgot his name. He is not meant to be. I think it's Ronnie.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Is it Ronnie? Yeah, I think you're right. Yes, it's another Ronnie just not built for the water toy world. Okay, they don't have a wet suit that fits him. So the guy looks like a damn, you know, golf ball inside a tooth paste, you know, tube. And then they can't have, they don't have a wet suit that's big enough for him. So they end up just like, I don't know, like taping together traffic cones and like strapping them over his head. You know, this is what we have to deal with people. And then you try as to get onto this some sort of like boogie board or whatever and he like rolls onto it and then just probably just continues rolling right off of it into the water.
Starting point is 00:17:54 Well, you choose this the foil too, you know, and that's what you got to love the confidence of big people because I've looked at those things online. They're like $10,000, so I didn't do it obviously, but yeah, those are like motorized boogie board things that you stand up on and then they lift out of the water. The weight limit on those things is like 250 pounds. So, Ronnie, I feel you, okay, because I want to do it too, and I actually give you props for actually doing it. Yeah, and then he, so like first he rolls off of it and then he's in the water and he's sort of holding onto it and it starts to rise on the water as he said. And he just, he just sort of like, it's not a match made in heaven. And I was watching a hundred foot wave beforehand and I was like, this is not someone who would fare well in a hundred foot wave. As if anyone knows, you put me on one of those things. I'll fall off of it and make my own 100 foot wave. Okay. That's not my toy. So then they're all in the hot tub.
Starting point is 00:18:56 They're joking and everything. And Katie's talking about how she got a balloon thing for the anniversary dinner that night. And Courtney just starts choking out of nowhere, which is very much me these days. I will just be sitting sitting somewhere and just start choking. Like, I don't know, does that happen to you? We're like, no. Oh my god, I'll just be sitting somewhere and then just like saliva goes down the wrong pipe out of nowhere. I'm like, what? What? I wasn't even eating any. I wasn't doing anything. I asked my doctor about it and he was like, it's basically post nasal drip. If you got it sometimes a post, like a little drop just falls back there,
Starting point is 00:19:27 but you just feel so violated. It's one thing to be drinking and something goes down the wrong pipe and you're like, oh, but if you're just like literally sitting there and all the other things, I'm like, oh, you're just like, please. It's getting old. You're being violated by your own juices.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Yeah, exactly. So then everybody's working, working, working and then it just cuts to Katie going we're not gonna have break this trip You're fault your fault your fault your fault So then Malia and Matt are talking and Malia goes oh my god. This is gonna be the best night ever He's like it's a lie. Oh, they need more seasoning God, I just want to take some mallemic butter and shove it in his face at this point. So I love that you did not choose violence in that sense.
Starting point is 00:20:12 You almost said, I just want to punch him and then you're like, oh my God, that's mean. I want to shove butter in his face instead. Fake butter. Which I'm like a butter. I liked your pivot. It was sweet. It was just, I just wanted to shove seasoning in this phase. Although, Molly McBudler is only seasoning.
Starting point is 00:20:27 It's just more like chemicals. So, yeah. So, and then meanwhile, Courtney says alerts us that she's seeking a wrap for the talent show, which gets me scared now. It gets me scared. I'm in too. And then we hear, and there's just like, just general labor
Starting point is 00:20:44 happening, table scapes coming together. They're pulling on a pool toy. We hear of Malia say, I need to. And then we hear, and there's just like just general labor happening. Tablescapes coming together. They're pulling on a pool toy. We hear of Malia say we are all Gucci. I'm like, okay, you get the mollumic butter too. You're anyone who annoys me is getting mollumic butter in their face today. So then everybody's getting dressed for dinner and Jamal asked Katie if she could turn on the hot tub for later that night. And Katie's like, oh my god, you're all in white. What a vibe.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Happy anniversary, everybody. What a vibe. And there's like this moment where when when Malia asked what when Katie is supposed to tell Malia to heat up the hot tub, then it cuts to Malia, like texting Z to be at anchor watch and David to be on mornings or something like that. We see a text and I'm thinking myself, oh shit. Katie is gonna be overworked and she's not gonna tell Malia and like somehow it's gonna be a drama with the hot tub. Literally none of this has any impact on anything. Like we don't, they don't even seem to get into the hot tub. I'm like, why did we stop and hear about warming up the hot tub?
Starting point is 00:21:51 Yeah. So then one of the guys is like, oh, so and so went to the bathroom or whatever you call it. And she's like, let's just please call it the bathroom. Okay. Yeah. He's like, what do they call it? New Zealand Katie. She goes, oh, I can't say that. He's
Starting point is 00:22:06 Poloic Society and goes the pisser, right? She's there to see the pisser. What I've on. And then Matt starts, he's making, they're all sitting at the table and Matt's doing surf and turf. He's plating some steaks and he goes, don't be mad at me. Get if they hate it. Oh my god, please. This guy. Okay, we're gonna do Philly. Lobster with the red wine, dammit glass, okay. Um, so then they serve it and Jamel's like, Oh my god, this is what we had at our wedding.
Starting point is 00:22:39 I'm not even kidding, how did they know? What? Stake and lobster? That is fucking crazy. That's crazy. Did you have a chicken option? What? Stake and lobster? That is fucking crazy. That's crazy. Did you have a chicken option? Did you have a chicken option? Cause this is gonna be real fucking crazy
Starting point is 00:22:51 in about a second. We're there? Past or derves also. Oh my God. It's like, he knew. It was cake. So the captain comes in and checks. She's like, how's your dinner?
Starting point is 00:23:03 Just Michael, you know, hope you're enjoying those microgreens and macro managing heal. And then it's like, don't, don't, don't. They're gonna hate their dinner. But then we come back from commercial and she smells like, this is what we had on our wedding, which was not really a scary thing at all. It happened after commercial.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Yeah. And I loved it. So it's all great. And you know, then Sandy, we get like basically a montage of Matt's roller coaster season of being like, you know, crazy fits and then having great moments with his food. And Sandy tells us, I just want to end on a high note and considering everything we've been through, we're heading in that direction, a nice high note. Yeah, so Katie goes and tells Matt that they had this at their wedding
Starting point is 00:23:51 and Matt's like, whoa, thank God, I'm back and they're good, great dude. So then he serves some girl veggies and the people were talking about the wedding and one of the guys is like, Ian, were you hands on at the wedding wedding and he goes a little bit more than Jamal okay And so then they're just you know again
Starting point is 00:24:12 They're all just working hard and everything and then Jamal says Katie. I hate to tell you this We're gonna be up for a while. He's like that's fine. That's fine I haven't made any recent personnel decisions that would make this a very difficult moment for me at all. Yeah, so Katie gets the Courtney something. So you see they're gonna be up a while now And then it begins putting Katie through just late night hell a lot So they just keep drinking and ordering drinks and they're all ordering different things and Work work work. She doesn't go to bed until 217.
Starting point is 00:24:48 No, she doesn't go to bed till 4 in the morning, ultimately. But she's working and working and she's up so late that David, who was asleep, wakes up to take over anchor duty and she's still awake. And then we have a little scene where Z is getting to bed and he's like face timingTiming with Lloyd and Lloyd is saying like well, I've been out of it all afternoon I've been throwing a lot of books at my head. It's a really aggressive hospital over here and Zee is like, Lloyd is one of the most purest people I've ever met in my life. I love Lord, etc Yeah, and then there's still see someone saying sister Katie Yeah, and Katie tells us well
Starting point is 00:25:30 I was the one who chose to have two steves so I can only blame myself, but I still stand by my decision Dumb dome, please never have her be the captain of any sort of vessel like I'm just imagining this The Titanic going down Well, it was my choice to try to run over that ice big, but you know, it's an impossible decision. Are we great? Nothing. Are we regret nothing. Yeah. So she goes to bed at 4.30 in the morning and now it's day two. And Malia and Lloyd, Malia is saying that she texted Lloyd.
Starting point is 00:26:05 She's like, we really need this goofiness. And then Courtney's setting up for breakfast. Malia's doing water toys. And what are the guesses away in 8.49am? I was shocked. I thought they were gonna sleep until like 11am, but nope, they were up and ready to go. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:20 So let's see. Courtney's telling the captain that they're all gonna hang out and split an Airbnb in the seasons over. Sounds great. Sounds like a really fun time. Nah, but so then, nah. Oh, that's a good joke, I like that.
Starting point is 00:26:38 So the weather is not good, and so Katie's like rainy day for the interior is the interior's worst nightmare. The guests want things 24-7, and I have to provide things 24 seven and you can't give up. And unfortunately I'm still down. Oh, but I stay in by the decision. I stay in by it. So they're staying on the boat. So they have to do all this stuff on the boat for everybody.
Starting point is 00:27:01 And they're going to do golf balls. And Jamel's like, you know, we set up a talent show for you guys later, right? She's like, well, I don't know that we have many families except for running red luck chickens with the heads got off because we're short people. And we also happen to be short people, but none of us are above five one. How about that? Surprise. So they're not playing golf. They're doing kidding golf balls off the edge of the boat. And while this is getting set up,
Starting point is 00:27:33 Sandy catches Lloyd out on the bow. And he's like, oh, hey, you smoking the rain. He's like, yeah, I do. So okay. And she, don't put your sick out, don't put it out, do not put that cigarette out right now. Now, you are gonna talk to me,
Starting point is 00:27:49 we're gonna do it with our mics on, but we're gonna hide from the cameras, okay? Like, we're trying to rob a house with a ring cam, okay? That's how we're gonna do this scene. So, they move off to the side, and we just, we just see the kind of ring cam footage. And she's like, now, let's talk. That didn't just happen over nothing, right? The panic attack. And he's like, well let's talk. That didn't just happen over
Starting point is 00:28:05 nothing, right? The panic attack. And he's like, well, I've had quite a traumatic year and I tend to get a bit nervous when the season ends. You know, there are just so many books in the world. You know what I'm saying? You're gonna be okay. I'm gonna give you my number. And if you run into anything, you can call me. Okay, call me anytime. Now listen, I'm not gonna answer, okay, person who's probably only gonna be here in my life for one more day, but my voicemail is very inspirational, okay?
Starting point is 00:28:36 Don't even leave a voicemail. Just listen to my voicemail greeting, and then hang up, you should feel better. If you don't, call me again, okay? And just listen to it again, give it another shot. Okay, I'll be on tour all year with my inspirational Captain Sandy tour. Gonna tell a lot of stories about Somali pirates.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Okay, hope you don't have another panic attack. Whoops, got something on your shirt. I'm just kidding, you don't. I was just kidding, just wanted to flick your nose. Okay. Oh, Lloyd, looks like I got your nose. Oh, got your nose here. Oh, don't do it. No! No! Okay, it's not like I got your nose. Oh got your nose here. Oh
Starting point is 00:29:10 It's not really look it's my thumb Okay calm that oh I just got hit by a golf ball. Okay, who did that? I have to be froth over golf I frothoth over golf. You know, Z. Why does Z? So apparently Z is like a really good golf player because his and his mom is a pro But and so he's like hitting the golf balls and he's doing really well But he tells us about it because I absolutely froth over golf It's just not the imagery I want Yeah, so then they're giving Katie massive drink orders and they're almost trying to fuck with her,
Starting point is 00:29:47 like ordering all different things with not addendums. What am I trying to say? Anyway, so one of the guys is like, Katie, where's your pen and pad at? And they're like, I bet you a dollar that she gets it wrong. She's like, they're trying to break me. And it makes me wanna push push through or don't big Damn
Starting point is 00:30:09 Sorry when I get stressed I throw up We have a lot of fun triggers on this boat at the moment. We've literally watched kitty bake down or back down like 10 times The season a million times So now you are fired. I don't think you should fire me. Okay, you're not fired. You can stay. Okay. So then Lloyd is sort of making his way through the boat and he sees Matt and they hug and I go, oh, I thought I smell the Lloyd Which by the way, I hope no one ever says that like I thought I smelled a band because I don't want to have a signature sound like that. That's that's not good Yeah signature sound like that. That's not good. Yeah. So then Dave tells us he has no talents. He's like, I can carry a kay, Lion King or Aladdin. And that's pretty much
Starting point is 00:30:52 wearer times. So now Matt is prepping his food for dinner. And he goes, you know, way after that Rocky start, the train is getting back on the start now. And the meal, the meal Sandy is this meal Sanders here. And her last time meeting with the guest was not perfect and it puts me in a headspace again. Don't serve dark fish stupid. Yeah, that's it. Just go to do no one wants to no one wants to eat your fucking tears either. Look at the fish on the plate and have a dark take out the plate and put a different piece on. So Courtney is practicing her rap. We got Ronnie in his safety vest. We're short staffed, but we're trying our best.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Are you seriously going to complain about being short staffed to the guests again? Why is nobody stopping Courtney from doing that? So tacky. Well, at least she's not going to twerk. And I can't believe she doesn't. Actually, yeah. And then Lloyd asks, do we have any soup?
Starting point is 00:31:46 Is there any soup on the menu? It's gonna be for my wrap. Let me make this really good rhyme I want to eat soup but first I need to poop. I think it's gonna play really well And Mulea says it's kind of a weird thing to ask crew to do a talent show. I mean if we had talent We wouldn't be in yachting a talent show. I mean, if we had talent, we wouldn't be in yachting. And while everyone who works on a cruise musical show, it's just like, fuck you bitch. Fuck you. Yeah. No kidding. So then Lloyd passes out scorecards for this talent show. And he does like, talk to the rhyming slang and he's like teaching about cocking rhyming slang and then and then they start doing their
Starting point is 00:32:29 talent. So Z comes out and he's like bouncing golf balls on a club and they're like, oh, okay, cool. Meanwhile, we should point out that one of the one of the guests is Michael Eves who's a anchor on ESPN. And so like if you think that Michael Eves has not seen people around the office, I'm bristle gonna get doing the golf ball thing. I mean, it's like, oh great. It's almost like you think I'm not some icon from ESPN. I'm just trying to give it to countless go ahead. Oh, I guess I haven't seen it this way. It's not like I work in the world of sports. So then Malia does a handstand and walks on her hands and then David comes out and he's like I'm from a town in Plymouth and he starts juggling oranges and he goes obviously
Starting point is 00:33:15 I can't tackle oranges. One thing I can do that you can can't do date everyone here anyone anyone anyone no not a single one. All right, well that's all right. I look forward to being friends with all of you in the future. Let's talk more jumping, jump. So David does, he does this thing where he like holds a toe in one hand and jumps and I don't really know what changed or what happened, but they all love it.
Starting point is 00:33:42 They like, they love his jump. He does a really good jump. And then I think he just like, uh, switch broke his leg last week. So then, uh, Katie and Coco come out wrapping in their orange hats and it's, it's cringe. It's sad. Yeah. And even they're cringing.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Katie's like, I am cringing right now. I don't know what is happening right now. And the producer says, what would you call yourself the next doctor to Dr. Drey? Like, no, I'm gonna leave that one to the OGs. You can have that one. Dr. Drake can hear that one. Unless that's what you'd like.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Cause if you'd like that, I'd consider it seriously. Oh, right, let me think on it. Let me think on it. So then the captain has dinner with them. And Matt's like, Oh, well, if it can't be a perfect season, at least it has to be a perfect dinner. Katie, should I start freaking out?
Starting point is 00:34:31 Did you notice also that captain Sandy mentioned Katie, you did such a nice job on the table decor. See, I do care about table decor still, even though I haven't mentioned it all season long. And even though you're just basically putting a glittery black placemats and candles every single time, let's just pretend that this is basically a float going down the New York street. I'm Thanksgiving. Okay. Great job. Great job,
Starting point is 00:34:58 Nana. So, um, so now they're all like everyone's served, the whole decor was helping serve and Ian's asking Captain Sandy what the worst dinner was and Sandy goes well It wasn't the worst dinner I ever had but the wildest one was with Johnny Deeman and we see footage of Johnny Deeman being you know like drunk and peeing off the side and his wife being terrible and then Michael Eves is like oh well You know John is awesome. It's a great dude, you know, cause I work in sports. And, you know, he's a, but when he starts drinking like an old baseball player, it's like, oh, man, are you all ready? You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:35:37 You know, I mean, it's just awkward. I mean, listen, I've had my issues, prison, rehab, you know, all the, all the the regulars but to see someone just not take the art seriously. I mean come on Johnny So now it's actually the count as Luanne Is this cabaret or is it baseball Johnny come on? Well, it's like what I said to Tom Brady well congrats on having five billion Super Bowl rings. How about you sing a song? So then they are served truffle sashimi. Okay, wait by the way, you know what I have to talk corn. Yes If I have to hear Katie and thankfully I won't have to because the season is ending if I have to hear her say
Starting point is 00:36:20 Shashimi one more time. I am literally going to I Don't know throw something at something. She keeps saying Shashi me. It's the expresso of 2021. Now I know I'm sure watch me now watch people be like Ben actually the proper way to say it is Shashi me. But I as far as I'm concerned it's Shashi me and it's driving me nuts when she goes some fresh some fresh sashimi, who likes some sashimi? With your expression. Yeah. Shashimi is what Gen-Shaw eats on real house
Starting point is 00:36:51 as a salt like city. Now I'm looking it up, because I realize I had a whole big, no, it's sashimi. It's sashimi. Oh, I mean, that's how it's spelled, but maybe it's pronounced sashimi. Who knows? Who knows?
Starting point is 00:37:04 Oh, we're weirdly enough to have an opinion I'm not sure I think I'm not a little pointless. I just don't want to hear her say shushimi again Then Katie drops a drink on the table and splash a sandy which you know why because the dish you're serving is so stupid The drink couldn't take it Truffles a seamy with popcorn Oh I feel like he's trying to get a complaint. It's very, he just can't get it.
Starting point is 00:37:27 It's just, yeah, it's very like, ooh, how clever. So then Courtney, gosh, poor Courtney, she goes, oh, I just hit my head, say fucking hot. I'm like, man, this is a show where like if you stub your toe, they are going to make a big scene out of it. And she just hit her head and they didn't even put it, they didn't even show footage of it. Did I miss it? Did I miss her hitting her head? No, she just came out and said she hit it.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Wow. Um, so one of the guys is like, come on, say any, have a drink. She was, if I have a drink, I don't know how we're going to get to the dock. Uh, so then we go to chicken millinase, Benichon zucchini. With micrograms. Importantly. Micrograms. Um, so they serve this food up and they do cut away to people adding salts
Starting point is 00:38:13 all the chicken, by the way. And then Crystal, who is Michael Eves, I'm assuming wife, girlfriend, partner, whatever. I love Crystal. But great season for crystals. I love her because she just looks so snappy in a way that I really appreciate.
Starting point is 00:38:24 And she's just like, I don't know if the micrograms are beat related, But great season for crystals. I love her because she just looks so snobby in a way that I really appreciate. And she's just like, I don't know if the microgreens are beat related, but I taste all sorts of beats up in here. Pretty sure I put that on my preference sheet. She goes, these are beat like, okay? And she smells like, well, we definitely put that on the preference sheet. I cannot stand beats.
Starting point is 00:38:44 And she's like, no, this definitely put that on the preference sheet. I cannot stand beats. And she's like, no, this is like, no, beat family. Beat family. This is from the beat family. Hello, my wife has a beat issue. Can we get some help around here for a crime out loud? What is this? The Colorado Rockies. Am I right, everyone?
Starting point is 00:39:00 Sports. So Matt comes out. And one of the ladies is like, um, so is this from the beat family? He's like, oh my God, what? No, I don't even know the beat family. When do they live? The beat family.
Starting point is 00:39:15 This reminds me of beats. Eddie. And he's like, no. So he goes to the kitchen. But like he says, it's called blood something micro. Could you imagine as a chef? Bulls blood. No, but he tells them it's called blood something micro micro. Could you imagine as a chest blood? No, but he tells them, it's called blood-something micro.
Starting point is 00:39:27 Like, how do you tell that to your guests? Like, it's called blood-something. Like, at that point, just don't even say, just say it's micro-greens, you know? Yeah. So he goes up and looks up, bulls-blood, beats, and dun dun dun. I lie down intentionally on the orbit. that bull's blood beats and dun dun dun. I lied unintentionally.
Starting point is 00:39:46 In other orbeats. Are you mad at me? I fucked up. So he admits that it was beat greens to the captain. And she's like, well, I loved it. It was delicious. Please do not throw things where leave the boat. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:40:04 She's like backs out of there slowly. You did great. So, and Jamal says, I made it through the whole dinner, which is a call back to below deck, because remember they did a whole dinner for her, and then she'd like passed that midway through. So, um, so everyone's thanking Sandy, and Malay is looking up Airbnb's and split and yeah, Sandy is just saying, you know, like I just want to make sure Matthew knows how happy I am with his performance because no matter what how great it is on every area. He always goes to the criticism place and I want to make sure he stays good because one little bit of criticism and then you know, it's my fault because I lost the chef. Right, so we need to captain Lee to be like, man, you listen here. All right, you little was.
Starting point is 00:40:55 I'd rather drag my dick through a minefield of broken nails, bottles and those little fish with teeth. Then eat your crap dark fishing out. All right, loser? Now, cry one more time and you're going over the side of this goddamn ball. I would say crime your river, but no river deserves a pussy like you, Annette.
Starting point is 00:41:16 They crime your river, but even a river of tears coming for you wouldn't be good enough for that shit fish you just served. I would say crime your river, but not even Carly Simon deserves you associated with a very good song of hers. So then we get a little David clip. He's like, I know I took a lot of pressure off Malia, and I just respect her as a person and as a friend. And when she's ready to marry me and have children, I'm ready for that. How are we standing right here? And by standing, I mean, doing my little jump thing until I fall over and bruise my other leg. So the guest party some more tonight, and then Matt and Katie are talking and Matt's like,
Starting point is 00:42:06 they feel bad, they don't look happy. But I cut to them parting and dancing and being the happiest they've ever been in their lives. She's like, well there's nothing you could do about it, Matt. You're like, I could blame to you. She's like, I'm making 19 amazes. And I can tell you, it doesn't matter at all. Please get out of my face, you fucker.
Starting point is 00:42:26 And then she just takes my limit butter and just throws it in his face and I'm so happy. At least in my brain, that's not been that way. So then she goes upstairs and Ronnie's like, do you have some warm cookies back there, Katie? That would be great. She's like, um, actually, Matt is in bed. So he can't do that for you.
Starting point is 00:42:44 I'll bring something room temperature. They're like, whatever you have. You guys are such fuckers. You're really gonna lie to the guests and say Matt is in bed when he's down there doing nothing. He made fucking breaded chicken for dinner. Okay. He can make some cookies.
Starting point is 00:42:59 And just because you chose not to have Delaney does not mean that other people are deprived of cookies, okay? And Katie, she even says the wheels are falling off the wagon really quickly right now. I'm like, no, you actually took a wheel off the wagon and you put it to you actually threw that wheel into the ocean. And now the wagon is struggling and now other wheels are falling off because the first wheel was taken off. Yeah. And then we lied about the wheel being gone in the first place. So people tried to make it down the damn street And they're wagon fell apart and there were cookies my wagon and now the cookies have fallen out Look, I'm I'm not even a work. I'm at home and of course I'm a big person who with probably a binge eating disorder
Starting point is 00:43:35 But I always have cookies ready to be made they're mixed and ready you never know who's Yeah, fuck man, you could be like look I just just whip these out and how them ready for you in 10 minutes. They're like, oh my god, you're like magic. Yeah, fuck Matt for not getting that. He should have already made the cookies because honestly, actually, this comes from a very real place, not from a snarky place.
Starting point is 00:43:55 If I am drinking on a super yacht, and it's only like 12, 12, 30, and I'm like, do you guys maybe have some warm cookies back there and they're like, no, we don't. I'd be like, what the hell? I think that's crazy or super yacht. It's a mega yacht. Okay, and you gotta have that.
Starting point is 00:44:14 You gotta have the warm cookies at any moment. That's where I would pull my obnoxious guest car to be like, well, I would just be like, I'm going down the kitchen. I'm gonna make some cookies because I want cookies, or I'd be like, I might even be really obnoxious. I might even say, wake up the chef, I want my cookies. I might be a diva about it, you know, because now I think I'm so bad, Ronnie, do you hear with the monster I'm turning into because of the show? I do, but that's, you know, it's reasonable. It's shitty service. It's basically shitty
Starting point is 00:44:40 service in every episode. If you're spending thousands of dollars and you can't get a cookie because you chose to understaff the experience, I'm not even understaffing. This is Matt. He's not understaffed. He's only supposed to have one person there. So Matt just wants to go to bed. Matt, he doesn't want to make the cookies. He should already have the cookies mixed in a plastic bag and the fridge or the freezer, whatever,
Starting point is 00:45:05 so he could just whip them out, throw them in the oven, and be done, but he doesn't even think that far. And you just serve them microgreens. Yeah, and on top of that, it's not hard to make cookies last minute. I think most of us have had a moment when they've gotten drunk or they've just whipped up some cookies.
Starting point is 00:45:22 I'm sure why do you not even have like a stupid thing of Toll House? Even make it, I would be happy if you just had up some cookies. I'm sure why do you not even have like a stupid thing of Toll House? Even make it, I would be happy if you just had Toll House. You just cut out those cubes and put them on a thing. Like it's just, but even if you have to make them from scratch, it's really not that hard. It's just what? Butter, sugar, eggs, flour, hot chips.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Yeah, he's X. He's X. So Katie's like, well, and then you know what just to make it even more offensive She puts ruffles in a bowl and takes them to the gas. I mean seriously just just sink the boat I've done with these people just and then she goes two steers I'm starting to think I fucked up a made a mistake. Oh, really? A really Katie?
Starting point is 00:46:08 Really was it staring down at the ruffles in your hand that made you think that you freaking idiot? It's been like six episodes. Like, and now you finally figure out that you made a mistake. So it's bedtime, and Matt goes to bed complaining. He's like, I'm over it. You know what, I'm over. I'm over not getting cookies when I'm drinking on the luxury yacht that I spent thousands of dollars for.
Starting point is 00:46:31 That's what I'm over, Matt. Sorry you had to. All right. Someone's got a little chip. So, who are you on this show? That over there. Let the cookie go. Let the cookie go. Let it go. Well, not. So, Cory, me is doing breakfast drinks and then they're getting ready for a cookie go. Let the cookie go. Let it go. No, we'll not. So Courtney is doing breakfast strings and then they're getting ready for a day.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Oh, so you can make a breakfast drink and not a cookie. Just kidding. Yeah. So Katie's like, what? They basically Katie's telling him they need to be ready by 11 and he's like, oh, he ate my life. What do you hate? Cookie Slacker.
Starting point is 00:47:03 You got to go to bed early. You got 25 extra to bed early. You got 25 extra minutes of sleep because you didn't make those cookies. So you should be happy right now, okay? So. Yeah, she's like the last day. I know, I'm still mad at it too.
Starting point is 00:47:17 I keep saying that. I'm so mad, but then I get mad at mad. I'm so angry right now. I feel like it's 2020 all over again. This is the sort of rage I have not felt in many months. So. Oh God, because 2021 so much fucking better. Well, doing great guys. We're doing great. At least I feel confident that I could get cookies in 2021, okay? So, uh, Crystal, uh, Crystal wants avocado toast with two eggs over medium and then everyone, everyone's just ordering a million different egg orders.
Starting point is 00:47:43 And then on top of everything else Michael Eves is like how about we eat upstairs shall we do that and so like And Matt's like I'm still upset about dinner last night. I still haven't even planned my menu. It's just fucked up You are the absolute weakest stop of a man. You had 25 extra minutes to sit down and go onto frickenallrecipes.com
Starting point is 00:48:13 and look up a meatloaf, okay? Like, he can't put together orders because he was just so sad about last night. So another constant failure. Plan the breakfast, tell them what they're having for breakfast, and start sending it out. Okay? That'll be a lot less, last-minute egg orders. You would think, and it's the last charter, dude.
Starting point is 00:48:33 Yeah. I mean, have you never heard Ina Garten's story about her very first time she cooked for friends, and she invited everyone over for brunch, and made them all an omelette? And it was very, very difficult, because then she spent the entire party making omelets and it was a disaster. Do you learn nothing from my own garden? My queen? Oh, so yeah, he's not an Ina watcher. He can just touch the knob.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Ina would never serve half the shit. He's like, he's a guy of yours. Can I say snurve? Ina would never snurve. Anyway, so lots of breakfast orders, avocado toast, all-mute with shrimp, onion spinach, there's an egg white scramble, and it just keeps going, right?
Starting point is 00:49:10 So Matt's like, oh my God, what a typical day it's gonna be, fuck me, Jesus Christ. Oh, he's got all these pounds with eggs going at the same time, and he didn't put butter on any of them. So they're all sticking to the pan. He's breaking all the yolks everywhere. I mean, this is definitely a flashback to Rachel's first breakfast service
Starting point is 00:49:30 on the last season of regular blow deck when she was over the members, she was over those eggs and she was just like crying in the eggs. Like, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh, huh was her first charter, she did not know what she was getting into, but this is the last charter and Matt should know better, and he had 25 extra minutes to prepare for it, okay? So he's like, oh, this one time, I was in my 20s, I had the worst breakfast service of my life. I cracked about 40 yolks as I was plating them, and I made a holiday sauce and it broke three times,
Starting point is 00:50:02 and it really takes me because when I'm spiraling, that's what happens My good long hairs. This is I'm gonna yeah This is the worst if I wasn't checked out yesterday These eggs are gonna push me over the edge. These are supposed to be over medium and they're not I'm gonna cry. I'm like get yourself together. Okay, because you're on a mega yacht And this is something that like diner chefs do every single second of every day Yes, although growing up in a family restaurant where breakfast was served at the quality in actually
Starting point is 00:50:35 Thank you. Hello quality in in alpaso. Miss you My mom and dad had a restaurant in the quality in called cilantro's and My mom and dad had a restaurant in the quality in called Cilandros, and we had to go, I worked breakfast and my mom did the, you know, shoes back there clicking with all the cooks. Eggs are hell, okay? And they cost like 10 cents, you know, especially in El Paso. It's like, here's your nine-course breakfast for a dollar, you know, like you're making no money and it is hell. And everybody is a high-falutin
Starting point is 00:51:05 Rockefeller when it comes to their eggs. So like this egg is three degrees off, you know. So it is, it is difficult, but you're also a professional chef where people are making paying you thousands of dollars. You would think that at some point you would learn to put butter in the pan. Yeah. I agree eggs are not as easy as they look and I think omelets are a much trickier thing to make than it would seem but like I always think of a few years ago We went on a family vacation to Phoenix and we stayed at an embassy suites and every morning we'd go down to the The breakfast area and there was always this big line you always would get in line to get an omelet and there was like
Starting point is 00:51:42 Three ladies two ladies there work in the was like, and they had about seven omelette pans going on all the burners and they had everything going and the eggs came out perfectly every single time. Like if you're a professional, you can deal with eggs. Yeah, gotta get your eggs down. So, um, Matt's like, couldn't Katie, can I leave some one egg on this next match? And she's like, no, because you did she want all the other ones, so they're gonna see it. So Courtney goes and serves all the eggs. And one of the guys is like, we're gonna have a full waffle house situation going on here. Yeah, and then someone else is like, well,
Starting point is 00:52:19 I'm not feeling it. And Katie is like, Katie is like, oh god, he can really fucking lose her right now. I'm mad like, oh, I just have you fucking so repeated in my head right now. And like yeah, just like breaking, omelettes are cracking. Oh, and then you absolute worst of a human being. And then I don't ever get another job again. And it just ends with them saying, can you do me a favor? Can you shoot me in the head? If it were legal, I would have done it wrong, okay. And that brings us to the end of this very violent
Starting point is 00:52:55 non-cookie eating episode of below dick meat. We really exercise a bunch of demons from our servers. I feel great now. God, I feel so good after that. I feel better. I really unleashed a lot. I know, first I was like, this chef sucks right now. This show is going through a really rough time and now I'm like, oh my God, cookie drama. I had another thing, those cookies. And you, and you.
Starting point is 00:53:20 I know Johnny Damon. I broadcast it with Johnny Damon and you, sir. I know Johnny Damon. I broadcast it with Johnny Damon and you, sir. I know Johnny Damon. Well, everybody, thank you so much for being with us. We will be back tomorrow with little Vanderpromp rules, and then we'll be back the next day with some real housewives of Beverly Hills. For those of you who wanna come join Take a Seat,
Starting point is 00:53:40 get the Green Room app on Spotify. Just download it on your app store, okay, on your mobile device. And look for Ronnie Caram and Ben Mantelker on their follow us. And we do that call in show on the green room app Mondays at 7 p.m. Pacific 9 p.m. Central 10 p.m. Eastern. Join us, won'tcha? Won'tcha, it's so much fun.
Starting point is 00:54:04 Thank you all for listening and everyone treat yourself to a cookie for crying out loud. Bye, everyone! Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella! Itchels!
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