Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: It's About Tom

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

As predicted, with Kiko off Below Deck Mediterranean, Malia's boyfriend Tom has swooped in to save the day. But things are far from fixed on this ship of terrors. Malia throws a hissy fit about not getting to share a room with her boyfriend, and it all culminates in some very serious allegations. We have a lot to say about this one... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the real house with kitchen island now available on Instagram go follow at real house Wizz and also the game brain podcasts for all you fellow board gaming nerds out there and

Joining me is the wonderful and hilarious Ronnie Karam from the Rose Pricks bachelor's podcast. What's up Ronnie? How's it going? Hi, good. How are you? So good. So good. Wow. We are about to recap some below deck med. It was quite the episode. But before we dive into that, first things first, we just want to remind you all to,

if you support us on Patreon, especially at the crap is on demand level, you get access to all sorts of cool especially at the crap is on demand level. You get access to all sorts of cool perks at crap is on demand level. You can watch our some of our recaps because we actually will record them on our webcam while we are recording what you are hearing right now. We also have a Discord server which is nice and active and we have bonus episodes. This week's bonus episode is going gonna be all about big brother all stores so I know we have a bunch of people who love big brother yours included

you're truly included so we're gonna be talking about that on the booney it would be super fun and also there was something else I was gonna mention Ronnie what was the other thing that I wanted to mention at the top of the show our newsletter we had a newsletter went out this past weekend if you something else I was going to mention Ronnie. What was the other thing that I wanted to mention at the top of the show? Our newsletter. We had a newsletter went out this past weekend. If you didn't get it or if you have not signed up for it, go to www.wattrocrapins.com. And there's a sign up thing there and you can sign up. And I'm going to try to send out the newsletter a second time for those people who hadn't

signed up yet or hadn't received it yet. So and if you get it twice, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to spam you, just trying to make sure people get to read it. So that's all the updates on that front. So, what are you running? Well, I have some small business shout-outs. Hello! This is from my little fellow El Paso in Shante Jones. Hi. She is the founder of Fizz Bubbly Bar based in Austin, Texas. She set up Bubbly stations for a bachelor in bachelor parties

and birthday parties, bridal showers, baby showers, tailgates, girls might out, you know, you get it, okay? She designs festive, sparkling wine bourbon and craft beer bars for local party gals. She also works with a lot of rental properties. So if anybody is planning a party in Austin, they can request the property management company reach out to them for a setup.

And they're just doing a great job. So you know what? You want some happy hour at Home Party Kits? Whatever you need, guys. Go to her name is Shantay Jones. The company is called Fizz Bubbly Bar. company is called FizzBubblyBar. The website is FizzBubblyBar.com. Their Instagram FizzBubblyBar ATX.

And on Facebook, you can find them at FizzBubblyBar. So check them out, thanks Shantay. Yeah, this one comes in from Erica, who has a friend named Emily, who has been, Emily has been an essential worker during this COVID situation as a price coordinator at a grocery store working 40 hours a week. So she is right there on the front lines.

And in her spare time, she loves to make masks for those she works with to keep them safe. And now she's opened up an Etsy shop where she sells her reversible and beautiful masks along with some very pretty earrings. Her items are high quality at a low price and her shop is called Ludlow Street Designs. So go look up Ludlow Street Designs on Etsy and you know we like we say it a lot but we really can't under estimate. We can't overemphasize how important masks are right now to help curb this situation.

They're not going to solve it. They're not going to fix it, but they are going to help solve it. They're going to help, you know, make our numbers go down. So if you don't have a mask, then go check out Erica's Emily's Love-Low Street designs. We can also check out what your crap is, too. We have masks. Wherever you get your mask Just get it and buy and wear it. That's all I'm asking of you all

So thank you. Thank you so much Emily for For doing that and also for for working in that grocery store day after day after day in this very scary time Yeah, so now it is time for some below dick, Mediterranean, very dramatic episode, then. Very, very dramatic lots of ups and downs. Got my blood, my blood pumping. No, I want to, it's been an interesting week in the Bravo, Bravo, I don't know what you call

the world that we live in, the Bravo fandom because people have been pissed at Sandy and Malia and Buzzi. They are pissed. The pitchforks are out. People are saying that there has been a conspiracy between the three of them to, it was like, Malia and Sandy conspired to get bugs on board and then from there to get Tom on board. What do you think? I was pretty pissed after watching this episode. I think that Malia is really playing this whole thing the wrong way, as we'll get to

us the episode unfolds. But basically, she went on Instagram this week and has a really, really, really long diatribe because in last week's coming up next week clips, they showed a bunch of this drug stuff. And so I think Mulea was trying to go on the offense before the episode actually aired to get people to stop hating on her. Yeah. And she wrote, should I read it, it's pretty long. You can give them, whatever you feel is appropriate. But she said, let me clear the air medical law. Let me clear the air. Medical laws are different at sea for good reason.

No crew member is allowed to self-administer drugs prescription or not while on the vessel at sea. We are a crew and we are always on duty and our primary goal is at sea to assure safety of all passengers. Mental health issues are a big deal, and that's why we have proper procedures in place. We all read and sign drugs and alcohol policy

before joining any boat, and this is very clearly laid out. And if any crew member suffers from a mental health condition that they require medication for, they must disclose that to the captain before signing onto the boat. Then, under the supervision of captain or officer

can be given medication as needed and evaluated to see if they can still stand duty. While at the scene, the captain is the medical person in charge. Any and all medical decisions must go through them. Taking any sedative while on duty is completely illegal and could cause myself the officers and Captain Sandy all of our licensing. Not to mention possible jail time and fines if an incident occurred and a crew member was found to have been on something without authorization.

Reporting any incident, especially when we witness, is all of our jobs. Yadding is my career. I'm not here to worry about plots and twists and TV drama. I'm here to do my job and learn how to become a captain. Maritime laws are in place for a reason. All of you expressing your hate, think of it in this perspective. If an emergency was to take place in the middle of the night, how would you feel if your crew, the people trained to handle the

situation and keep you safe? We're on drugs. There are very terribly sad stories of crew losing their lives or accidents happening due to unsupervised drug use and the severity of it is why it has become maritime law. It is there to protect both crews and passengers, reporting someone shouldn't have a negative stigma. It can save lives. Although of course the question is that there's an emergency and your stew is having a panic attack. Is that also very helpful?

And the captain knows that she has this condition because it happened last season when she was having panic attacks and someone's been given prescription medicine for the pan. I don't know how all of this. I mean, we're going to have to just kind of follow it as it plays out. But my main thing with it is, oh really,

it was such a huge emergency for you, Malia. It was such a huge emergency that you didn't go ratter out until after you were pissed off about something. You didn't go to a ride away and say, Hannah is taking these pills and I saw it in the bathroom last night You waited until you were pissed then you went through her shit and took pictures of it. That's what makes it shitty Malia. Yeah, I mean To everything that Malia wrote I don't know because I don't know maritime law. I'm not my name is not Jared cute story

I'm Jared the cute story. I'm not a maritime lawyer. I just, I don't know. So I'm not gonna weigh on something that I truly have no idea about. That's like super important sounding. But yeah, the timing is definitely weird. I personally, I was not, like at the end of, when Kiko got fired, I was not in the camp of like, oh my God, it's a vast conspiracy. I sort of just thought like he did

really serve a terrible, terrible meal. And yeah, like Captain Sandy was for sure up in his business, but like, if you can't deal with Captain Sandy being up in his business, like that's still, I don't think, I still think that's not a great quality in a yacht chef. So, I mean, I love him. He was so sweet in everything.

But I just wasn't like, I was not infuriated the way a lot of other people were. And I've been actually very pro-Malia all season long. I think that she's been a badass as a boason. This was the episode, though, where I was like, really, Malia? Really? I mean, I mean, we're gonna get into it as you said, but this is the first time where I was like, oh, okay, I think I'm seeing why people are so mad at Malia right now. Yes. I think Malia's being a total asshole.

And as far as the Kiko stuff, well, first of Malia stuff, we've seen on this show before in below deck regular flavor, this same problem where I think it was Adrian, who it was so long I can't remember, but I think it's when she was chiefs to, and she went and tattletailed on cat, and said she's on drugs, and captain was like, is this trail?

Show me the drugs, and she brought her, she brought him the prescription bottle, and he was like, all right, just don't abuse him, because they were prescribed. So I'm not really sure what this whole thing is, but I think that if someone was found with like heroin or coke or something like that, I think that's the different than prescription drugs and making it sound like people who have mental health issues, taking their drugs is going to make them any less capable is, it's a bad luck, Malia. It's a bad luck and it's a bad luck for you to do the whole dietribe

When you look like a childish idiot the way that you handled it. Well, I think also to I mean again I I'm I'm trying carefully because you know this is like bringing in issues of like mental health et cetera et cetera and I just like There is as much as Malia is correct that reporting should not be stigmatized at the same time, you know, medication for mental health should not be stigmatized either,

and like, be like drugs, okay, Nancy Reagan, this is like, just like calm down. I mean, I don't know the degree to which volume is a suitable medication for whatever Hannah's going through, so that's why I'm like, I don't really, I don't know on that part, but I do know that like, you know, she is making it to like,

it's like an eight ball, like Hannah has like, you know, like some sort of like, you know, breaking bad operation going on. Yeah, and again, it's the timing of it too. I think that she would be facing less scrutiny if she had said, hey Hannah, you know, I have to report this to the captain. You've got, are these, she did ask her these prescription. If she had said, hey, listen, Hannah, let's go to the captain.

Captain, Hannah has been taking, last night she had a panic attack and she has these drugs. I just wanted to make sure everything's kosher here. Something like that. But I mean, people probably still would have been pissed. But the fact that she waited until she just couldn't share a room with her boyfriend and got really pissed off and then did it is shitty. It's shitty. Yeah, there's something. There's very bad luck. I think there's a there's a

way to handle it. She's not under any obligation to tell Hannah that it's assuming that everything that Melia said in her post was correct that this is like protocol. She's not under any obligation to tell Hannah that it's assuming that everything that Melia said in her post was correct that this is like protocol She's not under any obligation to tell Hannah anything. She just has to report it But just because you're not under any obligation doesn't mean that you can't that you don't consider Maybe your work environment and and you know like like what's like you if it if again this is not cocaine if it's volume and a Hannah has a history of panic attacks And she she takes if she took a volume to use the panic attack You know

Maybe you don't want to do something that's gonna like alienator ostracize someone for their mental health Right, you know, they're really You know, when they're free, you know, national television, which is kind of what you're doing, Mollio. Yeah, I mean, I don't think her career is really going to be ruined. I don't think even Hannah cares about. Yeah, but that's what she's doing. I mean, doing that, getting someone fired for having drugs on board illegally, and then getting fired from a yacht on national television, doesn't help your career when you're going to go try and

get another job doing that. It's just, you know, like, whether it's right or wrong, what she did, it's not cool what she did. That's for fucking sure. Yeah, it's not cool, man. And as far as the Kiko stuff with, you know, Captain Sandy, I don't see it as a huge conspiracy necessarily, but I think it's pretty crazy that Malia here she is, her best friend is now on the boat after another girl got fired.

It's like, Bugsy was like ready to come on to replace Hannah and pre-replace Hannah. And Kiko, you know, the captain, even when he was doing a good job, was just like, well, you know, I just, I just, I don't like, I gotta watch him. It's just not classy enough, it's not classy enough, which is crazy considering the shit that they've put up with chefs in the past. So it seems like no matter what, now he did scoom self over with that last dinner. I'm not gonna go too crazy on the defense here. But even before that, she seemed to have a heart on for him,

even when he was doing a good job. Like she just appointed a big like dinner. You're allowed to though. You're allowed to have standards. I think you're allowed to be a captain and say I've got standards. And you know, she, I mean, she was burned by Milla I think this is all stems from Milla if it hadn't been for Milla

She would have been a little bit more hands off, but now with me after Milla. She's like fuck. I gotta keep an eye on these chefs I don't know. I just think the timings really really fucked up. Yeah, that's you know, and we're not that stupid on this show We were pretty stupid. But how do you, like, how do you set that up? I mean, like, for all those things to fall into place, right? That, like, that Kiko serves the worst meal of all time, of his career, like the same, like, right at the same time as Tom is showing up and everything. Like, how do you get that all to coordinate like that?

I guess that's a power problem. Because she was already showing that she didn't like him before that terrible meal happened so she could have still had the conversation like you know your food's just not classy enough I need someone classier. I don't know. I think that Sandy also got a lot of heat for firing Kiko mid-charter and people like that was so rude that was so rude but I think if you go back and watch she wasn't trying to fire him in charter, but he was, he kind of like forced that issue a little bit. So I think that people are being,

I don't want to see people being a little harsh on Sandy, and I say like, hey, it's Bravo, be harsh on whoever you want, like have fun with it. That's the fun of watching these shows. You find your favorites, you find the people that you drive you nuts, you just go to town, right? But I mean, it's not like she said,

this is terrible, you're fired. She's just like, this is not right. No, she just be a little tim in front of the guests. And like, I think she was totally unprofessional this whole time, like being like, oh, you like that? Oh, God, guys, I'm sorry. Like, she, I just think she just handled things really unprofessionally.

And I think that maybe she's trying to overcompensate for trouble. She got in last season by not being, you know, active enough with like get rid of Malia, not Malia, Milla immediately. And I think she's taking those notes for this year and just overcompensating. And it's making it, it's to me, it makes her look like a fucking asshole on deck, you know, like disparaging the chef in front of the guests and all of that, just it's not good, you know, so I'm with the fuck you crowd on this one, so. I don't know.

Well, I mean, I'm just sort of in a good place because it's good to not always agree on everything. No, it's fine. I'm not really like, like, oh, Sandy's great. I'm just thinking like it does, it did not, like, it did not, like, whip me up into a frenzy the way it really angered a lot of people on the internet. I was just sort of like, oh, okay. Oh, you know, it didn't really get me going. But you know what though? This episode, the coming. This episode, I will get going. I will get going.

Yeah. I was pissed. Yeah. Okay, so let's just get right into it. All right, there's Kiko, one last shot of Kiko, leaving, walking away from the boat, walking off into the sunset, and Hannah's still sitting on that dock. She's sitting next to Rob, and she goes, there goes my best friend on the boat, and Rob goes, hey, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,

and she just likes to cigarette with squinty eyes. She's like, not sorry, sorry, not am I sorry, all right, honey? And he's like, well, it's just going to take some time to get used to. She's like, that went down so badly. Shouldn't have gone down like that. He's self-trumped. Fucking good person. Yeah. So she's like very upset. And I'm just, by the way, did we hit, oh, you're not here in LA anymore. I was like, did we do we have an earthquake did this was this so earth shattering that we had an earthquake because right now well I don't know I just got a text I got a text about an earthquake

and I'm like were we so wrapped up in Captain Sandy that I missed an earthquake I always missed the earthquakes but I eat a lot of pizza so I'm always rumbling oh apparently we did not have an earthquake sorry it was like oh, you're a good person too. And she's like, not like that, huh? I, it's like, all right, good good car smoke. So then bugs and Malia and the kitchen talking and bugs, he's like, hey, do you think this child of wind? And Malia says, well, you know, I think it went okay. I mean, it was a lot of smoke and mirrors. Like the situation was very clear Even to me. Yeah

And bugs is like do you think your tormentor would work well to get that? I mean, I can't bring the thunder a little bit, you know what I'm saying? Well, he's really cholumny galley, but I can tell you right now that if he did come on to be the chef He would not be cool with how this galley is. I mean, this is messy. Yeah, well, that's also because Kiko just like left, you know, he just like left. It's like, right, isn't it? Doesn't Kiko clean his own galley or do the stews do that? I just don't understand how a show can do this so quickly. It's like one week, I'm fine. And then the next week, I'm like, fuck you!. I can like everything that's coming out of her mouth today. I'm like, fuck you. You snob.

Like, leave him alone. The guy already got fired. Like, why do you have to keep being an asshole? And she's like, well, then of course, this all turns around to how shitty Hannah is. You know, Bugsys is still so underhanded too. So Bugsys like, well, you know, I never know what's going on. Emily is like, oh yeah, I know it must be so frustrating for you because you're used to standards. And it's very clear that some people just aren't. Yeah. Wow, Julia.

Keep on digging. Yeah, and Bugsys like, yeah, but I can't come in and do that. It's not my place. My place has to stand here and just to bring the thud down. Come on. Commissars, here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.

And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves to be obsessed with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

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Clarna is a shopping app. So you can browse, you can buy anything there. You can shop anywhere from one app. It's a good shop. Yeah, it's actually Swedish. And so, you know, I inherently trust anything that comes from Sweden because they perfect me balls. And so that like gives it a lot of, you know, authority in my mind. And so, Clarna is this really cool revolutionary new online shopping app. And you can

pay for anything in four interest repayments, which is really good and really flexible. So I like that a lot. And you can also get customized price drop alerts along with getting the best deals naturally. You can just set alerts and find what you want is on sale. Yeah. And then you can also actually one of my favorite things is creating ensuring wishlist because I love making lists. And I also sometimes I'll be walking around and be like, you know what, I really need, I need like, I need a new vacuum or something.

And this way I can just like put it on there. And then, because you know, by the time I get home, I always forget. So like being able to make wish list is really helpful. And you can totally do that on Clarna as well. You can download the Clarna app today. Clarna is the way the online shopping should be. In Sweden, they don't just shop, they clarna.

Okay, it's spelled K-L-A-R-N-A. And that Swedish for smoother shopping. Big brother follows a group of people living together in a house outfitted with dozens of high-definition cameras and microphones recording their every move 24 hours a day. Each week, the house guest will vote someone out of the house.

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Shannon, out of account in Anthony. Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy. Let's take off with Tim LePlan. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! We love you guys! So let's meet in the mean cellar for a tip meaning, okay? Obviously everybody knows about Kiko. I just basically had to say Hugs opposite stay and push them away. Yeah, anti hug. Okay. Listen, charter is a business. And for me, it's never easy, but in spite of everything else that was going on that never affected the client. That's professionalism. And I want to thank you for that. Okay. Because you could have acted like my nephew.

Who is terrible terrible what a terrible person to have on a boat my own flesh and blood my nephew oh he was the worst thanks for not being like that guy thank you so much and they got a 20 gram tip which is really good so everybody's applauding and Hannah's like so great tip we addressed the elephant in the room who's gonna beat the Nick sheath and Captains like well great The owners arrange for you guys to go out and have a day off together. Doesn't that sound fun? It's a different location to watch Robin. What's their buns make out? Yeah

It's to be great and while you guys are making out I'm probably in a call normal day long and be like god of chef now I got a chef Norma. Hey Norma. I said you got a chef again. Got a chef. I know it's busy So cleaning cleaning cleaning cleaning cleaning cleaning yeah Then bugs and Alex are talking and bugs is like so for the beach clap you want me to draw some ebs on yeah I like to call that an abdominal table scape so Alex is like yeah you want to see something funny before I came over here I got a wax okay little he was terrible look look at look at look up here yeah I was like I was like a friggin big foot over here look a check that out huh yeah but a

group a group back and she's like oh so we do for another wax let's do it so Yeah, look at check that out, huh? Yeah, but it grew back, eh? And she's like, oh, so with you for another wax, let's do it! So, which is the most exciting thing that could ever happen, right? It's like, oh, I can't wait for this to happen. I actually thought at this point they were just joking and I was like, oh, okay, little did I know

that it would actually turn into a full fledgicide later on. So, Malia's now on the phone with Tom, and's like, hey honey, how are you honey? We need a chef. We need a chef, honey. He's like, wait what? Wait what? Cause he's got that real posh accent, you know, like he's definitely comes from honey. Yeah, he's like, I'm not I speak my lipsies. Well the reason he's able to come visit me is because he's on the way to the UK to visit a sick family member. So you know some personal things are weighing him down right now. You're the hair Norma.

Can I say Norma? Norma is you. Norma. You're trying Norma can I know her my it's you Norma? You trying to change your voice. I know it's you Norma. Don't tell me Norma's not Norma I know it's you okay Norma. I know everyone's looking for chefs. I get it, but guess what I'm gonna ask you Do you have a chef for me? Come on Norma? Norma Norma you sound a little angry. Did I did I wake you up out of a nap? Did I in Norma? Hello? Good for you Norma, Norma, you sound a little angry. Did I wake you up out of a nap? Did I, Norma? Hello? Good for you. Norma. So now I hand in Alex outside and Hannah's like,

so how are things going with it? Monster, known as Bugsie. You're having a good time together? He's like, I don't have a peg, yeah. She's like fun and cute, but we're in a work environment. You know, what do you get thoughts on bugs? She's like hmm not many, honey. She's good at table to core. Hmm. Hope you like dating a Michael's So Malia's now with Sandy and

She's basically asking Sandy if Tom can stand the boat and Sandy is like, yes, yes, and see if you could potentially do the rest of the season We'll give him extra nap time, extra brains, you know, extra hugs, and an extra nap on top of that, because he just can't have enough. You can't have enough. So bugs and Jesse or Jass, I'm sorry. Well, I said what's her bones and then Jesse, I know who you are, Jass, okay, I'm sorry, I'm a dumb person. Bugs and Jass go and make Malia's, you know, romantic love bed, which, you know, I'm sorry, I'm a dumb person. Bugs and Jess go and make Malia's romantic love bed,

which I like the idea of like, oh, flowers, that's cute. I mean, not to whoever has to vacuum, but then the little glass pebbles from the table-scaping, I don't know, that seems like a bad idea. And they spelled out M and T on the bed, and I was like, well, that's appropriate, empty. That sort of gives me, that's like the vibe of their relationship right now so Buxy tells us my sister worked with Tom she was a matchmaker and then we

see a picture of her sister who's basically her little twin yeah matchmaker matchmaker bring me some thunder If I wore a table scape So it turns out that bugsy ended up hooking up these two crazy people. And so then we go to Alex and Bugsy doing the waxing. And that's, you know, super romantic. It's funny because she's like, it's like a cop and it's like Wolverine. I'm like, it's like there's hair. But I mean, if she really wants to see,

if she really wants to see a carp or Wolverine, there are definitely some gentlemen I could introduce her to. I mean this is nothing. Yeah I agree. I'm Lebanese so I was like honey that's like a dream. Okay so Robin jester you know kind of like making art and stuff and he's like oh I did tell her loved her, and she didn't say it back, but I wanna go into a place, I wanna go to a place that she's comfortable with. And the producer's like, how many people have you said

that I love you too? And he's like, not a lot. That sounds like a lot. Yeah, it sounds like probably a lot. Yeah, that sounds like a lot. He also has to go out of slow pace because if he goes too fast, he'll probably hurt herself on a door jam. Yeah.

So then, Bexie and Alex back to waxing, and then Matt goes, Malia goes to meet Matt at his little, or Tom. I keep calling him Matt in this round. He has Matt on his name. No, I agree. He has big Matt energy, not Tom energy. Right. I had to like do a find and replace

because I wrote that so many times, but apparently I missed a couple. Okay, because his name is Joel. So she goes to meet matte energy at the minivan and they kiss and then they kiss and then we go to commercial and then we come back from commercial and the minivan drives up again and they kiss and they kiss.

Yeah, it's like, you know, it's not why I watch below deck, right? I know. I know. I know. watch below deck, right? I know. I'm talking about boring people making out. They also change the music because the first time you pulled up, the music did like one of my favorite below deck themes, which was, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun

but then the second time, it was like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. I was like, don't give me the worst song in the second time. You're making it worse. So he's like, hmm, you smell good. And she's like, I shall wear it. I was like, don't give me the worst song in a second time, you're making it worse. So he was like, hmm, you smell good. And she was like, I shall word, I was like, wow. The chemistry is off the charts. So then they go to meet everybody and the waxing is still happening.

And he's like, well, this is very bad timing isn't it? Can I get in line? Well, that was quite the weirdest introduction I've ever had. That was such an odd introduction. It reminds me of the time that I went to the pub and I asked for I asked for mushy peas and they brought me chips instead. I was like this is so odd and awkward right now am I right? So then yeah then there's patterns like oh it's a shame as far as the chef goes I'm on to ride Toronto is this Hannah? Okay, whoa those eyes are piercing me right now. Why do I feel like I have a burning sensation in my chest please stop stop with the honey

I stop right now, please I demand you And they get to stay in the guest cabin. It's all you know done up and stuff and she's like yeah It's really hard to maintain a relationship on boats We met in Fiji for two weeks and then it was like all over the globe, but he's definitely worth fighting for. He's, I was about to say the one. You're boring me enough to marry him, okay? You're both boring enough, so just go off and have boring little babies and go eat boring

little places, just leave me alone. I mean, Tom's definitely a catch. He's cute, he can cook, and he gives foot massages. So, I mean, let's not overlook that. Tom, there's something about Tom. Tom has kind of crazy eyes when he talks, like he's always kind of laughing when he talks. He's a chef, you know?

You know, he's got something in sing there. He has probably a massive ego that he keeps like under like British lock. Like he's, I mean, well, I mean, Chef Ben also is high-fluid and he also went to like a fancy boarding school and everything. Actually, he probably has even more of a posh accent. But like Tom clearly keeps all his emotions throttled up and they probably come out in really interesting ways. So I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, I see like little fires in his eyes, like two little two little flames, two little flame emojis in his eyes,

holy toxic. Two miles, which means flashlight and British. Okay, time to go out everybody. The unit who is still on the show kind of has a sweater tied around is I know that's pretty much the only thing that you're not in the Hamptons. And even a few words, you'd be kicked out. Yeah, I know. And that's pretty much the only note I have. You're not in the hamptons and even a few words you'd be kicked out. Okay, stop it. And Rob is wearing a black sweater that looks like he's got kind of, I'm sorry to be gross, but like kind of spurmy stand. Like he's got white splotches all over his sweater, not sure if that was on purpose

or if you're just disgusting. Yeah. The change your clothes. How about that? Yeah, I think so. Change the clothes. Well, he probably doesn't give a change of clothes that much anymore because he's afraid that Jess will just like lose it. Like, I haven't seen my spoons water in about three weeks. Do you know where it is? No idea. No idea. Oh, it's in my pillow.

So then, yeah, they all go and Hannah is so jealous because Malia's with her guy and she misses George so much So she's smoking with Robin Jess and she's like could I ask a favor? I lost Kiko and that was my support system, honey. I really need you guys right there yeah, and And he's like well, I think you know that I'm there I'm Rob the most emotionally supportive person on this boat. And you just hear Buxy going,

one more! One more! She's doing shots inside. She's decided it's party night. She was wearing like a daisy duke top and some like denim and feather earrings. And like there's like Pukashells, but they're not Pukashells,

and they're dangling in different directions. And Hannah's like, she looks like a tourist shop. She does, she really does. And I go, hey, how do I steal ya? Her voice scratching against my brain. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. My Nalox is like, gosh, she's all over me today.

I didn't have any bug spray. Oh, I love the table decor on her head and her neck. So then Rob inside is talking to Matt and he's like, I have so much respect for Malia's position in a male dominated industry, bro. He's like, cheers to you for recognizing that. That says a lot about you. Now who's your favorite George Paul Ringo or the other one?

John. Frankly, they're all a bit too rebellious for me. Every answer is wrong. A mop top. I mean, I've never seen a herd of such a ridiculous thing. So then Hannah goes over and talks to him and Mollia. And she's like, well, I just want you to know, Matt, you've got an absolute angel on your hands. The angel of death, huh?

I have one with it. And then they do it cheers. Rob goes, never will both of them never below them Always beside them. I'm like are you doing inventory or you're doing a cheers? What's happening? Never below them only anal Cheers everybody I love you. I love you shot Yeah, so Hannah leaves and

Gus the but alone she's like totally over it Yeah, and then we're back at the club. She's like totally over it. And then we're back at the club. It's 12.23 in Chess and Rob and make it out and saying things like, why are you so sexy? Genetics. Also, I had to have a operational my face after I was caught running drugs to the pool.

This is not my birth face. And they keep cutting back to everybody, parting and Hannah eating pasta and bad. That's curry. She's the Korean bad. And she's talking to a boyfriend, Josh, and talking about how I say, this is my sort of night, just staying in bed, watching a movie and eating curry. Curry that my system will absolutely be able to process. So then they they all come back and bugs is flirting with Alex, but he's too drunk again. She's yeah, you didn't even make the move Alex. Come on, Alex. Then even I'm even wearing berets that say Mac move.

What is it with? Yeah. And Rob's talking to your bridge because he's drunk. He goes, you have no wish no emotions yet to me. They literally write down Alex. Oh, that yeah yeah that makes me much more with them because he's so drunk he's like it says acid darling round lot mushrooms and then Jess is with Rob and she's like hold my hand and then she immediately hurts yourself on a door again. Like she bangs into like five doors this episode. So then it's the morning alarm.

Well, before the morning, I just want to say Rob, who is like, I want to go at justice pace because she needs to be at a pace where she feels comfortable. Then we see him here going, I want you to be happy. I love you. I love you. She goes, I know, she's like a lot. I'm like what happened to going at her pace So much is like all right. I love you too. All right. I'm in love with it. I mean I don't know what's going on

Oh, baby There I know so then the alarm goes off and Alex's like everyone wake up. That's Kyle Beachcloth. Bugs with fucking party. I can't wait to go to the beach club and put on a good amount of SPF and has a town in the shade. It'll be a jolly good time. So Matt goes to meet with Captain Sandy and or Tom does. Matt, Matt, sorry.

Yes. Because I'm probably talking about this on the resume. I've written this down so many damn times. Sandy's looking at Tom's resume and she's like, wow, I mean, this is amazing. Wait, hey, Norma, guess what? I'm looking at a resume you'd never believe, Norma. No, Norma, no, listen, for real.

I'm not asking for anything. Hey, Norma, stop teaching your voice. I know it's asking for anything. Hey, Norma, stop changing your voice. I know it's you, Sandy. Just wanted you to know you have no help. Go back to bed, idiot. Okay? I already found my prince chef charming. Okay.

So, did you guys have fun last night at the club? Was it, was the music a little too loud for you, Tom? You look a little rattled. Thank you, nice to meet you. Thank you so much for letting me on board. She's like, oh, God, you were headed home, huh? Wow. Somali just told me about your mad skills in the galley.

Love to do a rap for you. And you'll have to pay for my cameo in order to get that. Did you see that video that was going around? No. She's not really doing a rap, but she's like, hey girl, we are both from the HUD girl. So this is really awkward, really awkward video. No, no, no. Not in the same week that Bravo did the, like, it's a movement, not a moment, not that same

week, Sandy. Oh gosh, it's a lot. What's that? Bravo did a special, sort of just like talking about racial issues in America. And they had basically it was like, it was mainly most of Bravo's black stars, but also Bronwyn, because Bronwyn is apparently very active in Black Lives Matter's stuff in Orange County, but also Leah McSweeney, which Caught some controversy because she has some problematic past with Michael Che.

So, um, yeah, so Bravo did that. Uh, was it like a watch what happens thing? I don't think Andy was was part of it. I you know, I didn't watch it because I was a little afraid that it would be a really clumsy attempt at race relations by Bravo, but I still think I still might watch it because it still is probably really important to watch regardless. Oh yeah, I'll see if it's on my recording somewhere like on a watch what happens or watch what happens or something. Yeah, I saw the black and white photo, I guess, of everybody, but I didn't know what it was

Very informed over here. I'm doing a great job over here guys. Yeah, anyway, Matt Just kidding my uninformed anyway the point is a sandy sandy was wrapping on Camille And from really a wrap it was something like she was being like look at me. I'm from the hood. Whoa. Yeah, girl. That was pretty awkward. Yeah. So she tells Tom. She's like, your resume. That is what I've always wanted. It was a nap hug on paper. You know, you worked your way up. Sue Chef formally trained. You did Michelin star. Let me ask you this. What are your thoughts on Palm Piccartney? He's a little too wild, right? Little too wild, huh? I love him temporarily. Good job, God. All right, so you were a soul

chef on a 50. You know, were you able to cook for 12 guests? And you know, I'm going to ask you, can you help me out this season, buddy? Can you? Come on, come on. I mean, we all basically live on a yellow summary and am I right am I right? It's a yeah it's a yeah okay he's like if it means spending more time with the milleer then yes yeah I'll be happy to help you out and then he goes I gotta hug yeah I gotta hug yeah hi it's competent hey Norm I guess who I'm hugging I knew chef thanks for nothing Hi, it's Compat. Hey Norma, I guess who I'm hugging. I knew chef. Thanks for nothing. He's like, well, my uncle is quite unwell. So if anything were to happen there, I'd have to, you know, put a pillow over his head. I get it. Alright, we'll have someone do that

for you long distance. Her name is Norma. She's lazy, but gada. I'm sure we can trust her with this one little thing. Hey Norma, the galley is yours. Do what you want with it. I can finally sleep now. Okay, I'm going to hug myself into a nap. So then Hannah is in her room with Malia. And she's like, more stomach hurts. I can't go. It's the curry. And so she gets back to back into bed. Yeah. And then we see Tom. And and now Tom is it's his first interview And he's in a uniform. So it was like boom Tom's a cast member and he's like what the fuck has Malia gone me into this time?

Oh dear, I did curse didn't I didn't I just curse on television. Oh, I'm so terribly sorry about that I'll crew I'll crew Let's get to the salon for an announcement. I want to call this meeting because Tom here has agreed to be our Paul McCartney. And Hannah is just scowling saying Paul McCartney. That's right. Right. Why do I keep doing that? I've done that like to you. What? Paul McCartney's on my mind. Okay.

No, because I just said Paul McCartney like five seconds ago. Okay. Thank you. That's Okay, go ahead. No, because I just said PomerCartney like five seconds ago. Okay, thank you. That's a nice repeat of you. You know, he's a member of the Beatles, one of those wildly outrageous bands of the 60s, who I'm surprised as to being played on the radio, given their tendency to outlandish lyrics and bold musical styles. Three chords, how bold.

If it were me, I would call it Sergeant Peppers, safe at home with mom's band. Hahaha. So she welcomes him and that's the whole thing. So Hannah goes up to her and she's like, I've got a six stomach and so I'm just gonna join them in a few hours, all right, Captain, how many?

She's like, oh gosh, disappointed face. Well, I've got disappointed face, but it's okay, you know. Yeah. Hey, you know what, if you're feeling really unwell, I've got this woman named Norma, who you can call up, I might be able to help you out. Good luck with that. So Hannah tells us, the good thing with Tom

is he seems to have experience, but on a personal level, I know if I have a problem with Malia, I've got a problem with Tom in vice versa, and I think it's going to be a problem. Yeah. Sooner than you may realize, Hannah, sooner than you may have. Look at that. Instant, instant problems going to get ya.

So everyone, so they all head up to this beach club and Jess is car sick, which in the car, which is, I don't know. Just like, Jess is just constantly injured or sick. Well, not sick, but just in a state of distress. And yeah, they're just like arriving at the club and everything and I was like, this is unfocking believable. I never thought I'd see something like this,

even though we've basically been, you know, on a yacht around all this all year long, all season long, whoa, whoa, boom. And then he hits his head. Yeah. And Jess is like, wow, really like this place. There's some good, selfie spots here. Yeah.

Which is what she then does for the entire next 45 minutes on the show. It takes selfies. She really does. She's like my friend is constantly making you take her picture. You know who I mean right? Like take my picture here. Take my picture here. Take my picture here. I think so. I'm not sure. Her name wrongs with Maylene. She's like, hey, you want to take that again? Okay, let me look at it. Let me look at it. Okay. No, no, take it again. Take it again.

You know what? Do it with the sun and my face from this way. Okay, and it's like, Aileen, these are tourists on the street. Like, we're keeping them down for 30 minutes. I had like literally some influencers outside my window just now taking photos. Like, they were, it's, you know, I'm not even getting to it.

I'm not even going to, just like when you go into your kitchen, you'll be able to a little window in the kitchen. I go into the kitchen and there's like an influencer out there standing outside my window, I'm like, hi, my name's Alex. And what I'm here to talk to you about today is panting or whatever it was. I'm like, so Hannah's, then we cut to Hannah

at On the Boat making grilled cheese for herself, which by the way, I fully support it and I've never been more jealous. Like that grilled cheese looks so good. And it just keeps cutting back to them having fun in her, you know, just being chill, eating toast. She's a lot of toast or grilled cheese, whatever. And, you know, Bugsie's big hat storyline.

She's changed her visor for another hat. She's very sexy, apparently. And then she's like flirting with Alex and there's like a big sandwich in front of him and she's like, are you going to put that in front of in your mouth the whole thing in your mouth and he like does and he's like yeah boy yeah you've got the one couple that's like waxing backs and like getting turned on by eating burgers and then the other couple with Jess who's all sexy in her thong like leaning over her guy while bugs he's like what's going on over there?

Ooh. Yeah, we just have to close up on her un-just ass. Yeah. So then Matt comes a little late. Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun. Okay, now let's get to some gossip. So Malia is talking to Matt and Bugsie. Tom.

Emily is Tom and Bugsie, thank you. And she's like, oh, she was sick. So. And Rob goes, I thought she just didn't want to be a run Bugsy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And Alex is like, I, you're a grown-ass woman. I wanna fake a stomach bug too. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Jess is like, I don't get it. This is definitely BS. And by, I don't get it. This is definitely BS. And by, I don't get it. I mean, we're talking about space travel. Like how does that work, right? What are we going to be talking about? Space is flat. There.

You heard it from me first. So, bugs is like, did you see him? Thanks during the mating. It's like, um, yeah, when Tom was announced, yeah, I did. Yeah. Oh, but to be fair, I mean, Hannah was making a pretty remarkable face. She was like, I'm giving the strongest honey,

oh, is I possibly can? Like a little, like a vase moved somewhere. Yeah. Totally. Something started on fire somewhere. Yeah, clearly. So then Robin, just her talking and he's like, I don't know what I'm going to do after this. I don't believe in America.

There's something like that. And I said, I don't belong in America. Oh, belong. And just as like me neither. I'm flying to Bali when this is all done. And so then more selfies on paddle boards. And then she falls on a paddle board. And everyone's falling off. And then Sandy checks it on hand. She goes, Hey, so Norma said I should go check in on you. Make sure you're okay. You're okay.

You're all right there. Little sweetheart. Huh? And so he is on phone. Would you like a hug? Would you like me to just leave your own? Okay, I could just leave you alone. And then she tells us. It was on her own, which is sad for her. I see it. You know, I'm gonna have to see how Hannah could shift that. All right? Hey, you want some toast?

Because I finally learned how to make it, so I don't have to wait for you to make me my toast. I can make you the toast. It's like a special trade, okay? Now I'm the one making toast for you. I can do you the toast. It's like a special trade, okay? Now I'm the one making toast for you. I can do it in the Petini Press. How about that, huh? Toast?

I know it'll make you feel better. You wanna interrupt me while I'm about to eat a bowl of cereal and ruin my morning. I know you love to do that. Come on, let's do it. Yeah, we could do that, you know? Hey, Norma. Hey, Norma, how'd you turn on the toaster again?

I gotta make Hannah some toast. Hahaha. So it's time to get changed for dinner. Hey, Norma. Hey, Norma, how do you turn around the toaster again? I gotta make Hannah some toast. So it's time to get changed for dinner. And Malia goes, oh my god, honey, we haven't even brushed our teeth today. And he's like, I have. I would never think of not doing that. I can't believe that even crossed your mind that you could go a day, go a full day without brushing your teeth. I can't believe that even crossed your mind that you could go a day go a full day without brushing your teeth So they go to dinner. I love Alex's I spray her with Tom this is like such a person like out your chef. Hey You know Gordon Ramsay

I love that show. Hey, you ever seen when he gets two two buns He gets like two buns and he puts them on someone said and goes what what is this and then they got to go an idiot sandwich I Think not to read on your parade. I think Alex said so you worked with Gordon Ramsey It's just funny because that's like the thing that that stands out to him You know Gordon Ramsey. Oh, he's wicked awful, right? Huh? The odd?

Was it hard for him? Man, that's like saying that you're like, that you're like a football player and you work with Tom Baratia. I mean, that's like Gordon Ramsay's like the Tom Baratia food, right? And Tom tells us, I've had a lot of classical training. My mother was disappointed I became a chef.

She cooked for the Queen Mother and hated it, and my father was a chef lecturer and he was like a raging alcoholic, I haven't seen him since I was young, I think that's what my mom saw my future as, so she said if you're going to be a chef, you're going to do it properly, so I did. I think that's We read more about it in my autobiography taking time bomb Wow, yeah, that was he just sort of says it also pleasantly yeah without like kind of semi insane smile With the little flames in his eyes. I was like oh Has anybody checked on his mother lately my father wants to an ax at Tony Blair in same smile with the little flames in his eyes. I was like oh, has anybody

checked on his mother lately? My father wants through an ax at Tony Blair and since then I've not been able to see him so I decided to become a chef. So he's telling Alex the level of discipline is incredible just incredible. I know waxing is really tough, right? So they're eating and Alex is like, oh man, all I can picture was Hannah in that hot tub. And Malia says, I bet she's in bed watching movies with a glass of rose. And we got to hang out. In bed watching a movie, perhaps with a can of rose.

We don't know what the can is, but she's pretty accurate in bed watching a movie. Perhaps with a can of Jose. We don't know what the can is, but she's definitely drinking something out of a can. Yeah. So Malia brings up cap and arrangements. And she's like, so who's for any cap and arrangements? And Rob's like, all mold for, of course, the couples are all for it. And now, now is like the moment. I was honestly, I was fine.

I was fine. I was fine. This is the moment where I was like, okay, this was honestly, I was fine, I was fine, I was fine. This is the moment where I was like, okay, this is a little bit of a bullshit because you're bringing this up and you're getting the entire crew on board with something without the chiefs too who's like in charge of this area.

And for someone who talks so much about protocol and so much about this is the way things are done. By her kind of like broaching this with the whole table and being like, yeah, we're all gonna do it behind Hannah's back is a real shifty power move. Yes, it is. Hippocrate. It's called hypocrisy, man.

So, Jess is like, oh, what are we gonna do it? And she goes, well, I don't know if it's been approved yet. And Alex is like, uh, bugs. Would you be okay with sharing a bunk with Hannah? And bugs is like, nope. And he says, did you say no she's nope Hell no and Malia Malia says bugs grow up. I think to us She's like bugs grow up. I mean we have to live together. We have to work together

That's this is just part of yachting like wait a second. This is just part of yachting So what would Hannah would would you say of Hannah said that about like I'm having a panic attack on either volume This is part of yachting right like why is that suddenly like oh you can just like Everything just has to be chill. This is when I tried to get real angry I would say it's more like this is yachting so you don't just automatically get to pick your own room A fuck your boyfriend whenever you want to this is your job. Who's being unprofessional now, A-hole? And let's also not forget that Tom. Tom himself said, well, if we can't be in the same room, it wouldn't be any different

than when we first met, which is that Bugsie sister was in the top bunk, and we were the two of us run the bottom bunk, which is like a perfectly normal, not normal, but like that's a really good workaround, essentially. Yeah. And so basically bugs us like, well, I can sleep in the crew, but I don't care. But she obviously does care and just said so. So back, they take vans back and everybody goes bed and cuddles and stuff and Tom massage his Malia's feet. And just checks it on Hannah.

Yeah, normal evening stuff. So then the next morning, Hannah wakes up. She looks pretty rough from her day of food poisoning, et cetera. Maybe don't get curry in Mallorca, I don't know. So Bugs then is like, she's like, I'm going to start begging beds but I don't know what my start here oh I'm a wash even decision yeah there's such underminer these two I don't even know what to do now and it's even tell me what time to do

beds like you wake up you do the cabins yeah Emily I was like she didn't text you guys or anything she could have texted you what you guys up, you do the caverns. Yeah, and Malia was like, she didn't text you guys or anything, she could have texted you. What time you guys are starting? Oh my god. Wow. Well, I can still take my own initiative then. She goes, well, at least someone's taking initiative. I know.

Oh my god. You are now just a Disney villain at this point. Yeah, Malia, did you text Hannah saying, hey, I want to talk about room arrangements with the group tonight? Did you do that? No Yeah, so then dramatic music bugs is making beds even though she's not sure if it's just the right time And Hannah yeah Hannah sees Malay and she's like oh, I feel like I've been through a washing machine and not a washing normal washing machine A washing machine that just preps so it's extra bulky and I'll just hit my head on a box that she put in there.

And Moli is like, well, can we talk, Kevin, arrangements? What are you thinking? She's like, I'm not sure. What are you thinking? She's well, I mean, I want to room a Tom and then Jess and Rob and then that leaves you in bugs. Hmm. And I was like, all right, honey, I'll just have to speak with bugs and, you And, you know, I'm not really sure that I want to live with bugs.

Just like, and then she goes, she tells Molly, she's like, yeah, I'm not sure, you know, I got to talk with her and see if she wants to do this or not. I'm not sure she wants to do it or not. And then she just tells us, she goes, me and bugs are not happening. Not happening at all. Yeah.

So then Molly is like, well, we have to move by the day. So hopefully YouTube can be professional about it. Which I was like, oh, that was when I was like, oh, that is a dick. That was the good professional about catering. No, excuse me. Excuse me. What? This is that was so obnoxious. That was so condescending and obnoxious to say to her.

Wow. And Hannah's like, well, yeah, he is hoping. Like she's not being bitchy or anything, right? So then the captain's like, I'm going for a walk. Guess who I'm going to see? Means rhymes with form. We'll see how much she can hang. Norma, get over here. Hey, Norma, guess what?

I'm going for a walk and guess what? I'm leaving on your desk a resume for a chef who is currently employed. I found him. I did it all myself. So Han and Bugs talk and Han is like, see you. Malia just came to me back here, Bens. And I totally understand she wants to be with a boyfriend, but at the same time, I want to do what's best for the working environment. And Pugs is like, yeah, in an ideal world, it would be better for them, I guess, but... I mean, Bugs is pretty, I mean, they're actually both being very reasonable right now. Like Hannah and Bugs, they're both acknowledging, like,

we haven't always gotten along, but we're actually in a really good place right now, and we're working together really well. And we feel like if we live together, it would be really pushing it. So we're just not gonna do it. And that really makes sense, because it really is about this unit working well together. And having Tom sleep in a different room from Malia

is not going to impact the quality of the working, of the crew and how the crew can work well together. But having bugs in Hannah can impact it. And you can say, oh, just be professional, just be professional. Well, yeah, that would, that, in an ideal world, it would be nice to just be professional. But sometimes like, it's like living, it's a big, big, big ask. And the professional thing would be to just like suck it up and sleep, you know, all of 10 feet away from your boyfriend's room and you guys can still bone in between charters.

You can deal, you can deal. That's the professional thing to do. That's the professional thing. Yeah, it would be unprofessional if Hannah and Bugsy were assigned rooms in the beginning, they had to be together and they were like, well, I'm not sharing room with her. That be unprofessional if they were if Hannah and Bugsy were assigned rooms than the beginning They had to be together and they were like well. I'm not sure room with her. That's unprofessional But it's not unprofessional to decide that they don't want to move so the couple can be together like that's ridiculous

Yeah, so Bugsy's like well, obviously she wants to share with Tom But I'm a mature person and I can live with whatever I've got. Yeah, okay, you say that but you just told Hannah No, I don't want to do it. Yeah, so exactly pick a lane You know she's writing the fence exactly that was deceptive there. Yeah, so Alex and Rob Their talk Alex is like when the wedding broke and I go And then we go back to Hannah and Malia so Hannah goes up to Malia. I just yeah Say I spoke with bugs and she's not keen.

She said, she just said, I'll work in relationship is going well and I wouldn't want to risk that, which is kind of funny because Hannah basically takes herself out of the equation, just blames it all on Boggs. She is also very Hannah. And so then Malia just like loses her shit

because well, and how is that fair to the rest of the crew? Hannah is like, well, to you and Tom, it doesn't really change it for anyone else. Which is true. Emily goes, well, on a normal boat, the couple would share a cabin. And she's like, but we didn't join the boat with you guys as a couple. Yeah, but there's a way to make that work. And because you two can't put your differences aside, it's not going to happen. Like she starts kind of losing her temper. Yeah, and how's like, well, we have, yeah, and Hannah's like, well, we have put out differences

aside. I think that's the point. And she's like, you can't share a cabin together. And she's like, well, because it's not really both, and then Malia says like, because it's not really bug is the decision, right? And Hannah's like, just because there's a couple on board doesn't mean that things will go exactly you why honey. Yeah, because Hannah says well why don't you chat with bugs then.

Yeah. Maybe you can talk her into it. She's like well it's not really her decision. That's why. Oh that's why she's like. Oh yeah. Somali is like well Jess and Rob are already sneaking into a cabin. She goes well just because you come on a boat and hook up with someone for two weeks.

Doesn't mean we have to work around you guys and she's like So just because you and bugs can't share a cabin. You're gonna make four other people She goes I'm not gonna go out of my way to cater to people who've been making after three weeks Yeah, all right, I'm lazy. I'm in an actual relationship, which is like really annoying and it goes so everything just changes for couples And she's yes if you hire a couple for a boat and she goes we didn't hire a couple And she's like well fucking man up and share a cabin You know we asked for him to come on the team and that we make room for him She goes there is room for him with robes. Yes

Exactly and she goes you hire Tom as it's because I didn't hire Tom She says you don't have she's you don't have couples that are a team that work together. And I was like, it's, it's only two weeks. Yeah. She was well, it's the same with you in bugs. It's only two weeks. And she goes, look, I feel and bugs feels. And she's like, well, look, we haven't always gotten along. We shared a cabin, man up and share a cabin. And she goes, man up and live without your boyfriend for two weeks honey

And Malia tells us Tom would never have joined this boat if it wasn't for me being For us being a team. Yeah, and so it's like mind a new chef or bunk with bugsie you fucking idiot And this is where this is the crux of it. I think this is the crux of it right now, which is that I think Malia feels insecure about something with Tom. I think there's she is worried that Tom is going to get mad at her for doing something for a bait and switch or that like Tom is not going to be happy and she's like really really nervous and she feels like oh well Tom, Tom's only doing this because he wants to be with me and I'm now doing a bait and switch.

I think this, what Malia's doing is larger and that's, I'm not justifying it, but I'm saying, oh, but that's bullshit because you can't, that's not fair to bring whatever issue you have with Tom if you're worried that he's gonna be upset. That's not fair to then make everyone adapt to that because you're

insecure with your footing and your relationship. Yeah, I don't know if it's going on with her first place. But what I was just supposed to do about it was a team. She is literally in a fully different department. They're not there as a team. They're not a team. They're there on the same list. I just see as her power, her trying to throw power around because she keeps saying, I'm the boss in. You think, well, congratulations. That's not the top rank.

So calm yourself, Tan. Like, you're not the boss of everybody, okay, Malia? Yeah, I think that she, there's something going on where like either Tom has like made her feel really bad about the fact that he's doing a favor and then she's feeling guilty and then she feels like she has to make it up to him and like in some sort of way or that she's insecure, and then she feels like she has to make it up to him and like

in some sort of way or that she's insecure but like this is all this is all like incredible bullshit. Yeah, so then we get the classic below-deck med edit of Hannah being lazy. The Hannah smoking cigarette, so everyone else is working. So we see bugs go up to Tom's. So Tom, I've just pulled some uniforms, lots of different kinds you can try Clip of Anna smoking. Yeah, because Hannah's also off the rate. She tells everyone I'm just gonna get wolf the radio for 10 minutes. I'm just off radio for 10 minutes So please if you have any important announcements that I might be Might want to hear please can you refrain from doing them for the next 10 minutes thank you very much. So Malia's all upset so she goes to the captain and she's like what's going on? I am just done. Hannah doesn't want to room with bugs and instead

of realizing like there's a way for this boat instead of realizing that there is a way that this boat's run and instead of saying okay that's just how it's done. No it's not just how it's done and I, it's not just how it's done. And no, no, that's not how boats are run. I don't even work on a boat. And I know that that's a boat bulls. Yeah, she's like, we all respect that way. I'm getting told, oh, you can't live two weeks

without your boyfriend. That's not the point. Tom's coming on to do a favor. That's the head chef. You wouldn't tell the head chef and his girlfriend who's also the boasts in that you two can't get a lot. A-a-a-a. And so the captain and another bone headed move, I think. You wouldn't tell the head chef and his girlfriend who's all to the boasts and that you can't you two can't get a lot a lot And so the captain and another boneheaded move I think

Yeah, now this was now this was okay. This one. I was like now. This is a real dick move right here This was really dick. Yeah, so she's like can me your radio all crew all crew so Norma and Norma and Norma who's top-retarded that she doesn't know who I am. We have a chef on board. Malia and our chef will be staying in the cabin and all the other chef, you know, just basically telling everybody on radio in this happy voice that everybody's moving cabins. Yeah, exactly. She's like, we're happy that we have a chef and Malia and our chef are going to live

in the same cabin that the other chef was in. The end, okay. And Sandy tells us that the chef gets the pick as cabin because he has rank over everyone else, including Hannah, and that's why. Yeah. Has that always happened? Has it been that the chef had?

I don't know. I always felt like the studio heads do always like assign the cabins and usually gave like the one of the top cabins to the chef I'm not I'm not really sure the ranking of anything, but it's pretty underhanded to be like I like her better So I'm gonna let her pull rank on room assignments when it's not her job. We never heard Tom say anything about it. So it's not like he pulled rank. You know, Moli has pulling rank for Tom, which is not fair. Exactly.

And I was told that the captain would let her do that. Well, she keeps, yeah, she keeps saying, oh, he's doing us a favor. He's doing us a favor. Yeah, and you know what he gets for doing that favor? He gets paid. You don't have to like compensate in a favor. He's doing a fucking job. Yeah, he was offered a job and like it's nice

that he stepped in, but like we don't have to like, like literally cater to every single one of his needs at this point. That he didn't even ask for, you're asking for it because you feel some sort of like way, some weird way, you have some insecurities. Sandy obviously should have sat down, Malia and Hannah and said,

I know we have an issue. In this case, let's just look at it by ranks. The chef is the top ranking one. And so we're gonna let the chef choose, and then Hannah, you go from there. Because by the way, Hannah could have still said, okay, Jess has to stay with me then, okay? And then Jess could have snuck out to being robbed.

Like, that's the other thing, is that Justin Robb, we're getting away with a lot of bullshit here too. That Malia was sort of standing up for as well, you know? And I don't know why that was never a suggestion that that. What they do. Well, meaning that like Justin Robb, like, well, we're gonna get a room also. And like, why are they entitled to a room automatically?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, Emily, it could have maybe taken her room and then had Jess and Hannah. But, it's just like, why is it like, I don't know, I think that like also Hannah is the chiefs too. And all this discussion is like, really putting the chiefs too below every single other person. And she is like a very high rank.

So it's just, I don't know. I think it's all a really, it's just all very, very obnoxious. And then captains like, well, be a leader of Malia now, stay professional, not emotional. Do your food. Do your food. We have enough emotions on this boat. I'm like, are you referring to Hannah?

You know, like I hate like constantly, because I like Hannah, like in real life. So I hate like, oh, I'm going to bat for Hannah. Eh, just it's not that I think that they're expecting Hannah to go off on all of this stuff And they're expecting her to get really bitchy and mean about it and she's not And so they're playing it like she is because that's what they were prepared to do like Hannah's gonna have a fucking fit about this You know, right? So don't be emotional. Like Hannah, Hannah who's being so emotional, no, you sprung Bugsie on Hannah. She stayed calm through the whole thing

and it's made an effort. Like every, everything that they think she's gonna be freaking out about, she's not freaking out about, but they're playing it like she is freaking out. It's like, it's a weird gaslighting, you know? Yeah. Like she's not, the one he's getting emotional

is fucking Malia. The one he was acting like a spoiled pet-son-lite child is Malia. Now I'm a shocked as an ex person that Hannah is not secretly burning people. Well, I think Hannah at least, Hannah's been very checked out. I mean, I think that's true. I mean, you see her. She looks like she is just miserable. She looks tired and miserable and just wants to be anywhere else but here. Yeah, well. So that's probably why she's not emotionally reacting. I think that Lara took something of her soul.

I think that somehow that there was a hex, and when Lara left, like some part of Hannah left with her, she was like, you know what? After I did that double finger pointed honey, I don't think I've got anything else to give. Yeah. So then cleaning, cleaning, preference sheet meeting, Emily is giving dirty looks.

Just like, ugh. So we meet the new guests on paper at least. And it's Ashley and Isaac Martinez and their older brother and their father. Yeah, and they wanna have an Arabian night's party, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. And Sandy turns to Tom and goes, I am so happy you're on board. And Hannah just flares her eyes.

You know what she does? That's a little like, like, sedenthoney. Sedenthoney. Yeah. So then we get a close up of Hannah taking a pill, which is so, so bad for her to do that she's like walking right up to the camera and doing it as closely to the camera as she possibly can. Yeah.

And then Jess hurts her hand floating with Rob. Yeah. So then Hannah and Bugsy are talking in the kitchen and she's like, Sarah, hey, you're looking at you know, cabin buddy. She just, oh yeah, had that happen. Oh well, you know, how old brought the thunder? Well, apparently Tom brought the high ranks and so his while ranking meant that he got to pick.

Oh! And Hannah just goes, coolio, and you know, not giving them what they want, really. And she's like, you know, this is becoming some kind of power struggle and I don't want to do this with you, Miley. Just do your job and bang up away from it the end of the season like normal people. Yup, exactly. Just do your job and bang up away from it the end of the season like normal people Yep exactly so now Rob moves into Jessica's bunk and they're moving in together and

Hannah is just so unhappy like she is just She just looks so resigned and angry and annoyed right now. Just watch and there's this whole process of Malia moving out and things like that, et cetera. And Malia is like, everyone's terrified of Hannah for some reason and I'm definitely not. I mean, I'm not intimidated by people who shouldn't intimidate me, okay? And then she goes in the bathroom to like, What the fuck did Hannah do to intimidate you, by the way? What is she doing? I would want to be on the receiving end of Hannah's honey eyes. Well, I don't think she's doing

anything. You're the one pulling you know pulling power moves here and trying to bot. No one's trying to intimidate you in this situation. Lady. Yeah. Well, so yeah, so then we hear wacky detective music from the 80s, and Malia is in the bathroom, and you hear her go, God damn it, and then you hear the sound of a picture snapping. Yeah, exactly. So then Justin Robber and I were cuddling, and for some reason they've chosen to go to the top bunk

where there's like all of like three inches of space between the mattress and the ceiling, and and Jess is like, oh, it's kind of amusing being a couple and like now moving together, basically into the other, which is cool, but like, sometimes I need to go to the bathroom and like he needs to get the hell out when I have to do that. Okay, because sometimes I just need to shit my balls out. You know what I'm saying, everyone?

Oh, you're gonna pop a boob. So then Hannah is like, Hello, Tom. Let me know if there's anything I can do feed Tom. Yeah. And it's like cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. It's the evening and Tom and Malia are in bed

and they're making small talk and pattern and whatnot. And it seems like everything is fine. And then we see the captain in our bedroom looking at the phone and she's like oh gosh no and then we see the text it says I'm sorry but I have to report this and then a picture of volume and a vape pin and a lighter with weed on it and then I think it says HF He had a failure and a failure it was like harmonic ran something another. Oh gosh. Hey Norma are you awake? I gotta send you something Gosh seven it silence and flag waving and then it 7.40 a.m And everybody's waking up and the captain's like David David and everybody's waking up and the captain's like, David, David, officer person, could you come to my office please?

Cause I found this and I need to make sure that procedures and protocol are are followed and I need you here for this whole thing. And Hannah comes in with some like random clothes to find out if they're sandies. Yeah. And Sandy goes, hey, you know what? Perfect timing. I'm like, you're literally about to fire her and you're saying, Hey, perfect timing. That is so cruel. Don't say perfect timing to you're literally about to fire her and you're saying hey perfect timing that is so cruel. Don't say perfect timing to someone you're about to fire. Yeah, it's been brought to my attention that you've got drugs on board. And Hannah just squints. Yeah, and she looks at the phone and she sees. And she's like um is this is this all these linens yours?

Is this all these linens yours? Yeah, so there's that one. Oh yeah, this is gonna be, next week is gonna be real interesting. And of course we didn't get previews. I'm like dying to know what's gonna happen, but yeah, I think the way Malia handled that entire room thing. I mean, I think that was so shitty. I mean, I feel like in some ways I can't totally weigh in on the meds, because I just don't know what the rules are,

but the bedrooms is really, that was really ridiculous. I mean, just deal with it. Your boyfriend's down, like not even down the hall. Like, it's like, the hall's so small. You can't even be down the hall. You're just like, it's all the same space pretty pretty much It's like a technique the doors are a technicality Yeah, well it'll be interesting to watch everybody react after this episode They're gonna be if they were pissed last week

Yeah, shit's going on. I will be reading a lot of Facebook Postes make a lot a lot All right everybody. Thanks for yeah thanks for listening um definitely weigh in uh on our social media at watch or crap ins on Instagram give us a full loop and we'll be back tomorrow with selling sunset season three episode one. Bye. Hey prime members you can listen to watch or crap ins add free on amazon music Bye! comm slash survey.