Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Kiko Suave Saves the Day

Episode Date: July 7, 2020

The disaster douche charter comes to an end, but not before Bugsy gets wasted and Jess breaks her finger. For this week's premium bonus about catching up on TV and podcasts, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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to pull that out, we can do a search and we'll find it. Da, okay, so here we are on to below deck Mediterranean. Yes, maybe all, back in all the fun. So previously in case you forgot There are a bunch of douche bags on the boat and they want everything and they want more guests to come join them for dinner tonight and so life is hard Yeah, life sex. It's the second day of this charter. They are still at their beach picnic and No one can get a hold of Malia because she's stuck taking Instagram pictures of this douche and his little dog.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. And she was on a tender as well. And there's just a lot of chaos because they have to rush back to the boat because they had their toy island set up and they were also doing a picnic. But the tent had to come down and there was no glass lot on the beach. And since the tent had to come down, they didn't want to be in the sun. So it's just like this pandemonium trying to get back to the boat.

Kiko's trying not to freak out because they've just told him that he's going to have to cook for all their friends that they met at the club. And so now he has to make 72 plates. He's like, it's right and bugs is like it's okay We'll have a strong team coming through for you. It's me thunder I'm bringing the 72 Cops of thunder Malia Malia hugs us Malia Malia hugs us Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia. Is this thing on Malia Malia Malia Malia? Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia Malia

San DT want me to try an old and on scores for these Like you that would be great Hannah, okay? You know what? I would have bugs you do it because you'll probably do it better But I just don't know where she is right now. So go ahead and take care of that inferior one. Thanks. Yeah, you know what? Oh, all those cars arriving to pick up all those people. I'm asking my favorite is movie days of thunder. So Malia, Malia hugs. Malia is getting the tender packed. And finally she, she calls them. She's like, anyone copy us.

And she's like, Oh, now your radio works, Amelia, this is hilarious when it happens with you. Yeah, it's totally fine when it happens to you. And then in the middle of this, we get a shot of Jess. Like, I guess she's, she's in taking a nap and she like sits up and bangs her head. It's one of like about 30 head bangs or just banging moments in this episode. Just everyone just bangs some part of their body

into a wall or a ceiling at some point. Who did Captain Sandy? No Jess. I thought it was Jess who banged her head. Oh Jess. I was like, who? I don't remember Captain Sandy bringing her head. I would have loved that. I love a good Captain head bang. No, I don't think Captain Sandy is banged her head yet.

Well, she thinks she's just, you know, listen, I don't need to bang my head because I took a nap and so I'm pretty alert right now. So I know about my surroundings. So they get back to the boat and the guests have brought their guests, the guests and the guests. And we're like, peep peep, we need all the hands we can get. All right, sweet nip the cat, sir. All right, sir. Come and, sir. Alright sweet Nipical sir alright sir So they say goodbye to mr. Scout the dog and

Everyone's on the beach. I'm not everyone's on the boat and everything and then in the galley I'm having a walk my bugsy and bugsy is like so how was the beach and Hannah's like absolutely awful Terrible which gives my life. She is. But they still have fun, right? Didn't they have fun? She goes, he gives a crap on I. All right.

So, Kiko, let's talk about dinner cheeks. And he's like, I tried to avoid dinners. What the heck? Oh. So, Hannah is like reluctantly appreciating Bugsie on board board and she's like, I don't really, I don't particularly like Bugsy as a person or as an entity or as really just living, sort of living, breathing person, but what I really don't understand is that if you don't really like someone, if I didn't really like someone, I wouldn't come back.

I mean, would I want to work under me? No. Well, she's been a very strong second chief stew. All right, I see what I did there. And I guess it's funny, but I did not do that on purpose. All right. And Captain Bugsie going, I have plates, then I'll do the glasses, then I'll do the cook in the cleaning. If someone needs me to carry a child, my room is open. If anyone asks to watch a film while they wait till they know, bring it on. Only bring the thunder! Yeah!

So then the guests are like, there's some guests that are on the top deck and they want snacks. So Hannah makes like a cheese plate with like, you know, all meats and stuff on it. And so she brings this cheese to it. She starts bringing it up to the top deck, but along the way she passes by Justin who's on a different deck And he's like, oh, what do you have there? Oh, can I have that? She's like, sure, absolutely. He'll have this neck and then she just like turns around She's like, guess I'm doing another one. Fuck And he's sitting with some girl and he's like, actually glad you met me last night. Ew

So gross So So gross, gross. So he steals it and then we cut to Leon, Barney Rubble, up on the other deck with his friends. He's like, dude, I had my top down on this Ferrari and this bitch was on top of me, all right? Yeah. And then the galley Hannah is with Jess and then she pulls out a bag of small paper napkins

and she says something about like, now here the the Soviets get the Soviets ready and Jess is like Soviets, like napkins, just napkins, not Soviets. So Kiko is you know basically spinning plates on his nose and his head and his toes, he's working his ass off and there's fucking captain Sandy standing there with her arms crossed going how you doing? You'll focus there champ. Yeah, how's everything going? It's like I got some trades I got some trades. Okay. Okay. Can you me?

Maybe you need me to make any pennies. I'm right here. I have big family, you know, we cook a lot So no, you don't need me. Okay. Okay. Have we told you about my fisherman detective dad? Because that's a good one. So leave me alone, please. So then it has to Malia. So then it has to Malia. Oh yeah, go ahead. A Barney Rubble's upstairs with the girl,

another girl and she's like, my mom texted me and asked, what kind of yacht am I on? He goes, who? She goes, my mom. Oh, don't care. He just like shuts her down. Yeah, fear of class that guy. So Malia is talking to Pete and she's like so

Recording that ground-bind confusion from this morning, and he's like, oh, I just want to emphasize. I was just You know, I was just getting back to you. I meant nothing by what I said nothing sarcastic at all. And she's like well on the radio Let's just leave it at yes, no. That's it. But good job today. Okay, there's a fist bump for you. I mean, good. Thanks, champ. Yes, no. Does that also include sweetie or sweetens or sweetheart or titty face? Anything like that? Can I say that? No? Okay, we'll stick with champ. All right. Am I gonna hit trouble for con your champ tits? Right You know at home. I got to take care of my dad and my son and you know It's just hard for to have someone else in charge like I'm not I don't want to hear about this

I don't want to hear about this because if you really were taking care of them You would not be on a boat outside of me or cut. Have you noticed that when he's in his in his diary rooms, he talks like this is like, yeah, you know, there's my dad, my son, and it's real hard giving up control. Like, what are you? Al Pacino? Like, why aren't you talking like this? He's like in a dramatic film, you know, he is so awful. He really is like just a terrible, terrible casting choice on this show because he's he's smart, but there's like, no, there's nothing

about him that's interesting or fascinating. I've just like, why is he on this show? It's just so terrible. So then Alex is talking to Jess and he's like, hey, you go both both the students. You think that one might, you think Boxy likes me and she's like Um, dinner like have you tried pretending to read a book in front of her? Apparently that's a huge turn on your welcome huge huge and then Kiko Kiko and Hannah meet up and she's like you're gonna do the menu. Hi. He's like. Yes I'm gonna do international menu. Okay, of course one is from France oysters With the minion at and then two is Brazil, let me make the mckeke and she's like mucaca, right? Yeah mckeke but...

Oh, gole it, honey, mucaca. I'm pleased I'm calling it mucaca. It's like, I really that's not how it's pronounced. And then third, I started writing all of these down but here's what I wrote for the third, fourth and fifth course. Of course, I can't. Okay. And then it's bacon ice cream with apple confit. So it's like, I didn't know they could ask for more people come because my position is not for that many.

And she's like, well, you should speak to the captain and tell her, he's like, no, what can I do now? You know, I'm just going to do it. And she's like, yeah, but if you fail, it's on you, eh? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, good luck cooking that moukaka, is that it? Oh, you know, I'm just going to do it. And she's like, yeah, but if she fail, it's on you, eh? Yeah. Anyway, good luck cooking that mucaca, today. I'm just going to say mucaca many more times,

because I'm sure the guests will really like that serving them some food that has the word caca in it. So enjoy that mucaca. It's mucaca, eh? So bugs is like, we're stealing, gonna be, and Hannah tells her. So everybody's basically getting set up. And Jess pours some rosé for one of the ladies

and she goes, beautiful poor. I didn't notice. I like when people do that. It's like they compliment you for being able to get liquid in a glass. Yeah, the most basic, well, for Jess. It's condescending. Jess, who like literally can't even close the door properly later this episode, that is sort of,

it is sort of a triumph. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, so then the, so guess we're all drinking and Kiko is like stressed out because he only ordered, you know, a certain number of oysters. There's too many people. And so he has to reduce the number of oysters. And then he tells us about how he used to work in an Asian restaurant. And they served 2,000 plates in one night, but he had a team of eight with him.

And now it's just him and Bugsie and Thunder. So Buxie calls Jess on the radio. She's like, Jess, Jess, come, I'm sorry, just just folks come in, just just folks come in, she's like, um, hello. If that's you, could you just come up and say me? So Jess goes out there to you, she knows what? I just don't understand why I can't understand you.

Is it me X and then? I can speak in an American accent if you'd like. Yeah. And then she's like those like the classic American accent that I feel like British people, or like Australians or South Africans do when they do American accent. She's like, oh, I can, hi, I'm American.

I love that. Oh, American Bugsie. As we do the worst accent. Oh, yeah, no, 100% like it's just funny that it's like no matter what like we all do like they've all got John Wayne Axe. Hi, I'm bugs. I'm from America. I'm teaching at a phone napkins because teaching is a part of my. I taught both of my siblings and now look at them Once a doctor or something and once almost chiefs do itself Yes So she starts showing just how to fold the napkin and she feels like Jess has potential to really learn so she's excited about that excited about that. Beautiful.

Oh, yeah. So then Rob, and then just makes her way back down to the laundry room where she starts convoling with Rob. And she's like, huh, the more I talk to him, the more I like him, like, I think we're almost at the point where we're going to start using two syllable words. I'm just like, Leary, of going into a relationship

because like, I've been betrayed. I caught my last boyfriend cheating on Instagram, so I dropped his phone in the shower. Yeah, that was great. So then Hannah is talking to Bugs and she's like, you know what, I'm really glad you have a strong second bake and Bugs shivers. And Pete and Rob and B Bugsy and Hannah are all like fist bumping and then Pete just starts he'd like wipes Bugsy's shoulder and Hannah's like oh he's peating you look at that there. Yeah, Bugsy's like uh, he's like on your shoulder I took care of it. I took care of it. And she just like laughs and I was like, it just walks away and he's like, yeah, she wants

it. Yeah. Gross. Yeah, seriously. So now it's time to start wine service for dinner. Everyone's sitting down. And at long last, finally, Leon gets his oyster. He wasn't able to go last episode, but now one oyster.

One oyster. It was going to be two, but now it's just one. In the kitchen, Bugsy is... Can you tell me what's on those plates? Is it gone cooking then? No, I just want to label each one with a sticky net so we know where they are. And what I really want to know is also, could you tell me what type of play it is? Because I'd like to organize it by Porslin? And non-Porslin, please? Just for the fun of it.

So, the captain is watching a service, basically. She's like leering behind the table with her arms crossed. Like, whoah, look at that. I'm gonna see there, somebody eat something. They say, anything bad, I'm gonna do something about it. That's what's gonna happen this season that's right okay so at least there's our done what do we have next well honnays we all have a hope you open up your mouth wide because you got some

mu kaka mu kaka who's that like a cow poop nail eats not mu kaka it's mu kaka and um Malia's like um my boyfriend is a chef, so I have an eye for fine food. And Kiko's doing okay, especially for just one person. You know, Malia, I have generally no issues with Malia whatsoever, I actually would like her, but I don't like that sentence, my boyfriend's a chef, so I have an eye for fine food. It doesn't work for me. I've been to rodeo drive, so I'm basically a fashion designer now. So thanks.

I have a taste for luxury, and luxury has a taste for me, so... So Bugsy's like, Mulea knows how to work a chef with a chef very well, doesn't she? And Rob goes, And work a chef really well. Get it. That little comedy to lighten up the mood in here. And captain's like, gosh, I'm in awe of this team.

Oh, it looks like a Buxi and Hannah put their past aside, which is great. Now I'm going to need to find someone else to get rid of Hannah. Yeah, jobs open. Alright, Craig's list, Mallorca. Here we come. Yes. She's like, I thinkca. Here we come. Yes. She's like, I think that they are going to be just fine the two of them, which means that after this charter, it's going to be a full-on disaster between them. Yeah. And so then the guess, one thing that I love on below deck

is when they take douchebag guests and take their stories out of context because it mits all this like serving, serving, serving, and then we go up to the table and we see Justin say, you know, two years ago I was in Vegas for Yuki's birthday and Zach was in a panda costume and they brought a cake out and Zach just takes the cake and throws it.

And then just like goes back to the kitchen. Yeah, fucking monsters. You guys are monsters. Everything is wrong about that entire story. Okay, fucking monsters. You guys are monsters. Everything is wrong about that entire story. Okay, you're in Vegas in a panda costume and then someone took a cake and you threw it. Okay. Now we know cake throwing does not go well on bravo.

We had a whole season based off of it on real housewives of New Jersey. So yeah. That's all I wanted. So then downstairs Kiko's cooking and Buxi literally goes... Kiko's bringing the heat! Kiko's bringing the heat! We need the plug, we need the plug, see anybody see my sticky notes. We're like now, we are in Italy!

White ruffle, or risotto with fillet. And Leon's like, that is stone fire. Alright? It's totally fire. Hey Fred, hey Fred, this risotto is fire, huh? This risotto is fire. Please don't describe risotto as fire. I actually don't like when anyone describes anything as fire, to be honest. Like that is like one of my least.

Yeah, this is fire. Yeah, this is oyster fire. Yeah, this risotto is fire. Yeah. So then the captain is tasting the ice cream downstairs and she goes, this is your bacon ice cream downstairs and she goes, this is your bacon ice cream. That's like Michelin star right there.

Or as a kid's would say, fire. That's, look at that. That gets three fires. But we see that. That's a fire. Since day one, Kiko had the passion and the fire. But the creativity, I am blown away I'm just blown would you maybe say that he brought the what's the word I'm looking for

here he brought the hey brought the Fanda damn I should have gotten that right now you know it's just you know you never know what words gonna come out of her mouth. Fanda, it's always fanda! So then Kiko serves the dessert and he's like, oh, it's representing America! And I was like, oh, that is so, that is so us. We're like, hmm. What are you, what are you, let's just make anything that will give you a heart attack,

put some sugar on it and call it a day, right? Pink and an ice cream, why the hell not? So I made you a hot pocket ice cream with a side of a Vovita reduction for America. So they all give him a plaz and he's like, I did it. Woohoo! So then downstairs are all cleaning and Pete has been cleaning a lot of dishes

and when he was like, okay Pete, you can go to. He's like, yeah, I just want to finish the silverware. So like, okay, but you're off. You can go to sleep. I just have to finish the silverware. She's like, get the fuck out of the kitchen. You're done. He's like, I hear you loud and clear. But guess what? Can you hear me right now? Silverware, I'm in the zone. And she's like, you know what? That's great that he wants to stay up and it's great that he wants to help But he's just testing me now. He wants to see how far he can push me by doing extra things for other people and it's really frustrating me Well as we learn from below deck sailing Not if you stay out past your bedtime on these shows then you are

Terrible in the morning although Pete is terrible anyway, so Might as well let him just finish washing those spoons. Yeah. So then the captain tells us, Sheffy did an amazing job and stuff and the girl, all the guest girls and the guy leave. And then Justin comes down to the kitchen. He's like, hey, thank you so much. You know, 72 plates. I know, I know that's a lot for you. Do you have any extra food we could throw all over the deck? Yuki is really getting ready to throw some stuff at Zach as revenge. He brought his own pantakoshim this time, so it's gonna be hilarious.

So then we see Pete in bed texting Laura. He's like, oh yeah, think about you. Oh, not. God can think about it. You know, no one number who it is. New or fauna. No meatball. Who is meatball wireless?

My career. So then the guests want to stay up and party in the jacuzzi. And Hannah's like, jacuzzi and Hannah's like jacuzzi And one of the guys is like yeah, what about snacks? Come on just a few she goes and then you'll go to bed deal So Hannah like makes like rage grilled cheeses. She's like all right honey honey honey melt honey melt honey And then you he's like oh by the way here's, here's some like ramen that I got from Japan. Can you make that too? And she's like, um, he brought the ramen. So they have to stay up a little bit, but then they, um, they make them go to bed.

Yeah, pretty much. And final day of Chara. Well, I also like, by the way, that Justin, you know, Justin is like trying to be like this cool dude and like no one gives a shit about him And he's like said to Alex. He's like hey man next time you're in New York City you have to hang out with us And I was like yeah absolutely and he's like no fucking chance brought us. It's like no way I'm I am with this douche bag So it's the morning of the final day Pete's raising the flag. Jess is making coffee. Hannah's snoring in bed. And then Justin asked for some scrambled eggs

and Kiko's making a pretty breakfast. And I don't know, I'm just writing down a bunch of little working things. Bugsie shows up 30 minutes early to her ship. She's like, well I woke up early, so I thought I'd come and bring the morning thunder Anybody need me to put some stickin' it sonny nithin Actually woke up 45 minutes early went to the shore found a chicken and it's already got three eggs so I didn't want some fresh eggs

Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Oh my god. She's like it's like to the entire Marina. She's like, all right, woke up a little early. So I'm just gonna wake up. Yeah, the yacht's now. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Here's some biscuits I made on the yacht. Three, three slips down. Here we go. Then she tells Jess, your taper looks nice. Cheers. And she's like, well, I mean, it's all I could really think about. It's all I could really think of. So enjoy it. And then Alex wakes up and then just like banks his head on the ceiling above his like bad. He's like every fucking morning, bro.

Yeah, that's the head bump. I remembered. That's how I was so confused before. No, because just did it too. Just had bumper head earlier. No, I believe you. Bumping. Yeah, I believe it.

I just remembered this scene and I was like, whoa, guess I'm about the head bumping wrong. Everything's done, I quit. Now there are multiple bumpings. I actually always wanted that. How did they not bump their heads more? And that, because it's like, that top bump is always so close to ceiling.

I actually always remember season three, when Emile was in his top bunk, jerking off, and he was just like, his face was basically pressed up against the ceiling and he was jerking off. I was like, how do you jerk off on such a low, under such a low ceiling? Oh, that Emil, he was a horny kid. It's time for commercial. It's time for it.

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playing. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar. We love you guys. You know what's horny? So there's some breakfast orders and then Bugs pass his Pete and she's like, don't you have any work to do? And he's like, hey Bugs, I've been working since 6.30 in the morning. I'm on my second application to sunscreen. So he goes, damn, and he goes, yeah, damn, daddy. Please don't brag about being on your second application of sunscreen. If that's supposed to be like flirtatious, it's just terrible.

And so then he tells us, yeah, I picked up immediately that Bugs is a flirt. So I'm going to play Bugs a little different than I played Lara You know I'm saying or is her name Lana. Don't remember Glondie Italian, whatever her name is. Pete's not gonna just fall in love overnight Pete's gonna wait it out. Oh God. Now Pete's gonna talk a third person Yeah, so Bugs is like Pete is not a specimen I mean why is Pete pizza on the galley anyway And he's just like staring at her like She's like what the hell you're like on dressing me with your eyes

He's like are you naked are you naked? And she like literally looks at the camera. She's like, look at him. Look at him. I mean, she's like, who is this ridiculous? And he goes, God, let the laws of energy take control. I'm intrigued by you. What exactly are the laws of energy?

Because if I hope those laws of energy involve you getting pulverized by a raise of what energy So she tells us he's got this entitlement to say whatever he wants to say no that's not how this is gonna go down Like don't don't don't and then she leaves and he's like the love attraction yeah last time came into it hot Not this time buggy you're gonna have to wait for this, baby. So now the guests are like basically leaving. The dog, Mr. Scout is back, because by the way, Justin is like, Cannako, like one second without looking at his dog on his phone, etc. So he's like finally reunited with his dog. And everyone's leaving and he gives like his little speech

and gives the, you know, gives the, gives the tip, et cetera. And it's like when one of the guys was running past with their luggage over his head, Leon goes, you guys are sweating. Get a new job. Oh no, I did not see that. That's a prick. Yeah, it's like thanks.

Or how about get lighter luggage, asshole. So then after they leave, everyone's like cleaning up and stuff and Alex was just in his room He's like I don't know who the fuck is doing my laundry, but my shit has been missing for days I'm like have you looked at the pile of crusty clothing underneath the Jess's bed? You might be there tip meeting tip meeting now this and I'm glad everyone smiling considering meeting, tip meeting. Now listen, I'm glad everyone's smiling, considering. Kiko, you just kept smiling. I'm me bacon, ice cream, Michelin, stars, and Hannah and Bugsy together. It's just me. It's like light and dark, in and yang, salt and pepper. You know, it's amazing seeing one of you be so effective and the other not being effective at all and how beautiful

that can be. It's just such different dynamics. Okay. Yeah, it's like you know in Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston came together to sing that song from the Prince of Egypt and he thought wow these women would never work well together and look at them they make a song that people remember sort of oh and thanks for making an effort to do a table Hannah that was nice it's like oh thanks and then she's like pinching her necklace. Like, what's coming next, bitch. And you know what? This is what I always say. Before I reveal this tip of mind,

it doesn't matter what the client thinks about you. It matters what I think about you. And I think a whole lot. You guys are wonderful. You're only getting $12 each and I really really support you as a crew. So now remember when I hand out these shitty tips you don't hit the client you hate me wait a minute I went wrong somewhere in this but anyway you don't get shit for tips okay have fun. And Jess is like I told you this package looks small. So they get 17 grand. And then it says on the screen average tips 20 grand. But this seems like it's really high compared to regular below deck, right?

You know, I could never remember where they get 20 grand every week. No, I thought they got 17 grand total. and then that was split up to about 12 something, but I could be wrong. They made, I'm just saying, yeah, it just says average tip 20,000 like perchard. How? I just feel like I'm regular. Oh, oh, they said, oh, why I see they said that the average tip per charter was 20,000 and then these guys only gave 17. Yeah, after they got 20. I was like, Ronnie, 17 divided by all those numbers is not make 20,000 Jesus if it was 20,000 You'd see my ass clean in a toilet, okay? Yeah, I'd be over there You know they have to split that that tip one thing I learned from that New York Times article is they split that tip also

With like the first first mate in the first engineer or whatever you know the guys you see at the beginning of the season and never see again They also get that tip. Well, there you go. So they're in the mess and Jess is talking to Bugsy and she's showing Instagram picture of Kissing Rob. Oh, she's yeah, she and I guess she and Robert kissing and taking selfies and stuff and bugs He's like, so what's going on with his girlfriend, then she's like, oh yeah, he told you he's seeing someone so... Well, do you mind if I drop a honey bomb on the situation? Because Rob put up an IG story with his girlfriend saying,

Missing Your Touch, ho-ne! And then we see the Insta story and he's like kissing his girlfriend and just is like, mmm, I'm gonna need a bigger book to pretend to read this. This time I'm going to read it while holding it sideways and see what happens. So Rob comes in and they're giggling and he's like, obviously, not talking about my person, obviously, not talking about my person. So they're all just like laughing and then and then basically the Hannah and Jess were talking privately in one of the and one of the bunks and and Hannah's like, yeah, honey. He was with the gal and it their crazy and she's pretty and you know, you have to be careful, honey. So basically giving Jess all the details about what that story was. Yeah, and then Malia calls her boyfriend and is like, Hello, hello there. So did you get my messages?

It's like, I love your messages. Of course I got them. I loved them. I was busy making fine food, which you have an eye for. It was a weird vibe between them. Yeah, I was actually happy with that. That lovely, I like you as well. Miss you. And you as well. All we done here on this telephone call. May I? Remember when she was dating West,

West, the, the, the Bowson. Yeah, that's just funny to think about sometimes. And it's also funny to think about that West, if you really looked at him was basically a Savannah pump With like short hair. Yeah, I remember Adam more. It's harder to wash out the atom from my brain Yeah, so tonight we party and so everybody gets starts changing and bugs He's like, I'm gonna change and Rob says, please don't have a change That was a jerk I worked on my comedy while I was driving a bag of cocaine to the border when I'm very excited to go up tonight on the first person to admit relationships aren't my strength

I'm married to Mitchell I hope I found her mad with some sticky notes and a sharpie. And that's when I know that's the one for me! A lot of boys are pretty upset when I put a sticky note on them and say, he's a maybe or I put one on says, definitely marriage material and some say, now not ever. Apparently they sometimes read those notes. Who knew? Mm-hmm. And Alex is like, yeah, like you're here, peace. And they're bugsy and Pete goes, it's getting really hot in here. Mmm, yeah.

Hmm. So they get to the restaurant and they're all saying a table and Pete's at the end and he's totally being ignored. Like no one wants to touch him, so he's sort of sulking a little bit. And he has like these weird moments like that. The waiter comes over and takes everyone's order and when I guess to Pete he goes,

uh, have all the ladies gone. Okay, I'll get the surf and turf. And he has like these weird moments like that. The waiter comes over and takes everyone's order and when I guess to Pety goes, uh, have all the ladies gone. Okay, I'll get this ear from turf. That does not count as chivalry. Okay, when you were just sexually harassing Bugsie in the kitchen. So Alex is chatting Bugsie up and she's like,

I feel like I've been you a long time. You're just going to sleep in there. And he's like, yeah, he's sliding to the DMs. She's like, I'm not saying the DMs. And then Pete, meanwhile, I was trying to pick up on the idea that maybe Voxie doesn't like him and is more interested in Alex. And he's like, I'm not jealous. I'm just, I'm just missing. What's a lot? Latisha?...lo...lo...lobio?

What's her name again? I'm missing her. And you just see him looking creepily at Bugsie and Alex while they're talking and I don't know what Bugsie's talking about. They don't really make it clear. They just keep cutting away and then cutting back and she's like, I look at the sparkle's figure is better. Oh, you know what I like to say?

Keep it settled and then boom. And then sometimes sparkle, sometimes it rains, thunder rain lightning, you know! Oh geez, their painting bucks look so ridiculous, I love it. Yeah, so then Pete starts to take the Lara, he's like, missing you, one of the mad dingle in your holio, or something like that. And the gang is, and then meanwhile, everyone is just like talking about Jess and Rob, because I guess they're looking at the picture

and saying that they look really cute together or something. And so Hannah, of course, is like, so Rob, are you and your girlfriend just having open relationship? Is that what's going on with you and your girlfriend? It's like don't girlfriend that you have. And she's like, so then we come back and he's like, she's not my girlfriend. And I was like, oh, so you're just dating then?

He's like, there's nothing going on. I wouldn't be in this if it were. I broke it off the other day. I broke it up. I wouldn't be doing that even in an open relationship. I thought I made it pretty clear on my Instagram story. That when I said I'm missing your touch because I would like to touch your arm as I told you that we are through.

I thought that was pretty clear. So then he says the most dramatic thing to jazz. He's like, everyone comes into your life for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. Like, um, okay. Well, I mean, that's like a, like an old, that's like a saying, you know, I'm like, your life for a season or a reason or a lifetime. Okay. Well, I mean, that's like a, like an old, that's like a saying, you know, I'm like, but you don't win brownie points because you were sad at a saying. So then bugs is talking to Alex still and she's like, that guy's creepy that Pete, he's like, yeah, you know what, he

doesn't do it in the right way. Like, it's basically, yeah, it's creepy. It's creepy. Okay. So let me know, you know what, if he's do it in the right way. Like, it's basically, yeah, it's creepy, it's creepy. Okay, so let me know. You know what? If he's creepy, tell me I got no problem saying something to him about it. Yeah, so which I thought was nice. I think Alex is actually very cute.

So they got the club. It's like partying and dancing and dancing and dancing and dancing and so then Hannah pulls Bugsie aside. And she's like, so, honey, weren't you worried to be working with such a lousy chiefs do again which is my way of reminding you that you said I was a lousy chiefs do and here you are working for me again. And Bugsie doesn't back down at all she's like, where to be honest so much time has gone by I thought I'd take a chance. Maybe you'd be less awful this time. Maybe you found some school and some training and something.

I thought it might be great to degrade myself a little bit by trying to work under you. Just understand what it's like for someone to work for someone so incompetent. Can't steal a person's job when you're standing on shore. So they, they talk, they, they like sort of bury the hatchet a little bit and like hand us, like, hand us like, yeah, I'm just in a different place in my life, honey. And you know, I think that like you'll find that it's just different and that you'll be respecting the hierarchy a lot more this time because as we all remember, you didn't respect the hierarchy at all last time, okay, honey. And backugs is like well it's a mutual respect and she goes um yeah I know and so basically they agree that they still hate each other and but they're gonna be nice about it. So Bugs is like it's hard to forget the past I hope she's gonna be cold yo.

Mm-hmm we'll see so then um yes now it's like more partying and then she goes up bugs He goes up to Alex's like what do you smear like fool? Why do you smell like Jacob? Oh, I'm he's like I Had for yeah Tom Brady forever Tom Brady forever So then buxie is drunk now and she's just really flirting it up with Alex and we like, okay, Buxy coming in with the bang over there and she's sitting on this lap and stuff. And then they leave and then Buxy in the van is like, look after me like I'm your precious cargo. Yeah, I'm going to look after you like you a bobblehead of Noma, Noma. And then she falls down. And Justin Robber making out in the other van. And then Kiko walks

into the room, because they're back at the boat now, and Justin Robber making out. He's like, don't what you need to do, it's love! It's love, it's like two pieces of shrimp and some macaque you mean mukaka no So then Hannah is talking to Malia and She's like Josh at you know, it's just so crazy my relationship my boyfriend George Hey, just doesn't understand, you know, we're working all the time and I just can't call him back Mm-hmm So I was reading my coffee. I thought I thought you were gonna expound upon that a little bit more

She's basically like yeah, here's a normal job. He doesn't understand me leaving for months at a time and not being able to Communicate so you know, I hope he understands have serious. I am about my career Like didn't you just say you hated your job? Oh, yeah, and you don't want to do this for the rest of your whole fucking life So what I did was I just bulged my eyes really being and took a photo of it in center terms It's sort of my way of saying honey shut up. I'm trying to work here So then just goes in knocks for Rob and Bugsy is getting ready to get in the hot tub and she's wearing full-on shorts and a shirt full on shorts and a shirt. I brought the mod to swim where? So she gets into the hot tub with Alex and she's like, it's a bit cold in here.

We're gonna warm this up. How can we make this warm up? He's like, yeah, don't worry. It's about to warm up. It's gonna warm up. Don't you worry. And so they're like flirting and she's like, yeah, but it's really cold. And Malia comes out and she's like, um, but it's really cold. And Malia comes out and she's like, um,

what's going on here? She's like, yeah, what is my info to warm up a plot run, bring the thunder, hey, please. And so Malia basically goes and sees that the heat basically is not on. And so she fixes it and she's like, uh, you guys are basically just sitting in a tub of cold water. It's like, I'm going to bad fuck this. And Alex is like, I'm freezing and he stamps up and bucks his, we can tell! She flicks his dick. Points at his crotch. And then Pete calls up Lara and he's like, hey, what's going on?

She's like, I'm here in my bed. I'm here in my bed. I just a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I'm a here in my bed, I me man. He's like, man, you know what? I don't like naggy. That's what I don't like. She's like, But you love me, don't you? I love me. And he goes, look, I'm gonna go, because I don't want to make this awkward. She goes, But you are. And there's like this awkward, there is this awkwardness.

And then he like, he leaves and she goes, She's like, But you don't love me and then she just like passes out. The more next morning Malia's smelling milk there there's my note I'm down here yeah they all wake up and bugs and bugs he like crawls out of bed like she's the girl from the ring coming out of the well and she's like, my life right now. Oh, tastes so great. I'm really just like, well, you were coming and drowning in the jacuzzi, but don't worry, Alex was there to save you.

She goes, oh my God, I don't remember a thing with a sticky notes. I put about it. You didn't make any almost really been going then. So then Rob meanwhile is having a very important moment in his life truly. He's like and he's with jazz he goes Today, I'm 10 years sober from NA and she's like uh-huh What's that? She goes back. What's that? Like no context and all of us. Oh, okay. I'll pretend I don't know your name sir. Hi. I'm Jess. I do laundry sometimes and hide it.

He's like, I'm overwhelmed with emotion right now. She's like, uh-huh. Okay. She's like, biting her thumbnail. Like, Jess, this is such a big moment for this guy. And she's like, oh, cool. Well, I just got a new Janet of Anna Vitch book, so I'm gonna be reading that upstairs if you want to watch. I forgot what E is for, but I'm sure it's gonna be really good. I don't know that's too grafting. That's a question before. No, Jenna Vomich is called Five Is For The Fucking I think. So he talks about his mom's story, which is actually really sad. He talks about them going to rehab together, and he got well, and so he left, but then she didn't get better, and she ended up dying, and it's really sad. Yeah, he wants to say so, where's that where he can sort of family and give to his family

what he never had, which is like really, really sad. Well, let's lighten it up by watching Captain Sandy make herself a cup of coffee. So she's making coffee and she goes, I'm gonna make a decafee! I call this caffeine cereal, okay? She loves her fucking nest cafe if that went. So Bugsie goes up to Alex, she's like, Did we kiss?

And he's like, no. And she's like, oh thank god she's like, oh, thank God. I mean, wow, it would have been terrible if I had kissed a guy with such a small, frigid penis in my ride. Bring the thunder. It's like did I fengen him anyway? And he goes, I don't remember. And we was like, I do.

When you got out, she set his scold and pointed to your dick. That was so good. God, I'm glad I could be here for this. So we know things are going badly for Hannah because at the top of the episode, they showed her sleeping and snoring while everyone else was waking up, which was unnecessary because she was entitled

to that snoring, but they put it in there, which is what happens every season as the Hannah is snoring montage. And now we have a scene of Hannah saying, I'm going on break for 10 minutes and lighting up cigarette so this is the part of the season where shit is gonna spiral out of control for Hannah. Yeah, but I'm just gonna show the scene of Hannah smoking that cigarette now 20 times.

Yeah, so Pete and Bugs are down on the mass and he's like hey Bugger, ew! No, gross, he goes... He goes, Seed Bugsie, now you're gonna get to know who Pete is. Not that you asked for it and not that anyone cares. Uh, by the way, they call me shameless Pete. So, that's exciting, right?

Well, I'm not prying or anything. We're like a little bit, I'm prying, but didn't you have everything with the second stew before me? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, I'm gonna chase her down and see what happens I'm gonna dress her with my fucking teeth. Yeah, I'm gonna go do things that she's never had done to her And she's going to fall in love with me the fucking units And she goes, you're making my hangover worse. Have you had relationships on boats before? And he goes, just being in masturidises. Yeah. She's like, excuse me. I don't know if you're just saying that for shock value. He's like, no, whoever was down for a good time is how I got my name

last year. Part of it. Yeah, he goes, I met some cock hoppin stews. She's like what cock hoppin stews Oh, and he starts laughing and she goes oh that laugh It's so and then he's laughing and he does that dick grabbing bend the guys Yeah grabs his dick and bends over. Oh, he's so gross. It's like it's like vile and it's it's horrific to think that he can say Speak like this in a work environment. No. Welcome to below deck. Yeah. But this is like bad because this is like obviously last season in below deck, there was that really toxic masculinity that we all could not stop talking about. But this is just like

like, this is just a borish vile gross behavior. You know, like this is just a borish, vile, gross behavior. You know, like this is just like, full on, like full on blatant shovonism. Yeah, cop, cop and stews, classy guy that unit. New cop, cop and stews. So then we see Jess, you know, going into, I guess the master, whatever to clean it, and then the door closes behind her,

and you just hear it go. Ow! She just closes the door closes behind her and you just hear it go. Ow! She just closes the door right under fingers. She's like, I'm gonna throw tradition aside by closing the door and instead of closing the door from one side, I'm gonna keep my hand on the other side and close it. So she's crying and bugs. He's like, what's wrong? What is it?

Is it broken? Did you feel it snapped? She's like, yo. And then she goes, I hope it's not broken, which is so shady because all the previews had her saying it's broken. They literally edited it out the not. Like I'm used to them taking stuff out of context,

but I'm not used to them, like, then the promo is them pulling out actual words to create a new sentence The Blood like oh she she's hoping that it's not broken, not saying it was broken. Yeah, the Russians have made that preview. Well, you know, Kiku, Kiku is the connection there. Hmm. Well, that brings us to the end of below deck mid, everybody.

Thank you so much for being with us today. We will be back tomorrow with selling sunset. And then Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is back. I'm excited. Me too. So we'll talk to you tomorrow in the meantime. Go get some masks over at CrapplinSummers.com. Check out our Real Housewives of New York video

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