Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Never Stew Much

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

A new stew joins Below Deck Mediterranean, finally relieving some of the burden that's fallen on Katie's shoulders with the interior. But on the other hand, it also means everyone has to rearrange their rooms. What's a head stew to do? Plus, Matt burns his fingers, and Maureen faces her final moments.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all our crap on Bravo that we love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker. You can find, I write some stuff for the dip every now and then, like about Love Island, so go check that out.

And joining me is the one and only Aronnie Karam. What's going on, Ronnie? Well, hot man, how are you? I'm a little upset because I'm just looking here and it says that you are some sort of deck podcaster, but all your CV says seems to get you only work on deck. Are you sure you're equipped to do this podcast? Well, I've done a podcast before, but when I did the podcast before, mostly it was just talking with the microphone.

So I can do it if it'll make you happy. All right, that's good enough for me. We'll do it if you if it'll make you happy All right, that's good enough for me. We'll give it a try. We'll give it a try Oh my gosh welcome to below deck Mediterranean day Yeah, um we're here to be exciting day. I don't know if there's anything for us to talk about I think we could just dive right into the episode, huh? Let's dive right in, Bian. Yeah, so we're diving into this recap, and we're gonna be left on top.

Well, one thing we can say, well, one thing we can say, guys, is we did a shot by shot breakdown of the below deck trailer. That is our most recent video recap. So if you want that bonus, yeah, you can get that at Patreon. So that'll be fun,

because that shows coming back and it looks like Captain Lee is missing and we stress out a little bit. So go check that one out. Yeah, that's like for a classic thing. Yeah, that was a good plug. It was a classic low deck trailer. They came out, I'm surprised, I dropped.

So basically, Katie has just told Lexi that she's bringing on a new stew and that Lexi just isn't up to a second stew standard. And so as a result, she's just going to dissolve the ranks and just wants Lexi to do things correctly. And I believe we talked about this, but how nervous Katie was doing this. And it did seem kind of like a, I did not seem like a fine moment in Katie's leadership. I think Katie's leadership was really not so stellar this, this episode.

I think that Katie's largely been a very good chiefs do, but this episode she kind of came off as a bit weak, I thought sort of succumbing to pressure and all that stuff. And it starts off here with this Lexi thing. And Lexi's like, I think that's a decision is idiotic to demote me or make everyone even. And I actually think that she's Lexi's a little bit right. I think you just demote Lexi at that point. I don't think you get rid of all the make everyone even. It just feels like a weird way out of a sticky situation. Yeah. Well, Katie's in a really weird situation here because she should have just fired Lexi, but she couldn't because she went to the captain and she wasn't strong enough like she's

out. That's it. Like she assaulted whatever you want to say to like as the boss to get her out. She could have done it then, but now that she's been like, okay, I'll give it a try. Now she's in a sort of situation where Lexi's been, even though she's been messing up and stuff, like her attitude's been so much better. It's like, you don't have the same righteousness to have like, you'll find, right?

So. It's also a little bit of a hedge because she doesn't know who the new girl, Delaney. Who Delaney is, who she is, what her experience level is going to be like. So I think she almost, I don't know, it's like a weird hedge where she doesn't want to say Delaney's gonna be the new second stew or this or that. So I think she's just trying to kind of buy herself some time,

but she's saying all the right words, right? Like the way that you just read it is good, because she's like, listen, just hearing the words, it's like what this comes across is laziness to me. I mean, you've been astute for how long? You're not an up to second stew standard. No excuses. I don't want to have ranks anymore.

So that's it. Okay, she said it like that, but she's like, well, he comes across his, uh, ligusiness to me, and you've, I mean, I mean, you've been astute for how long. I mean, baby, you're just not up to second standard. So, you know, there's no excuses for that. And I just, I don't mind Frank's anymore. Guy. Oh my God.

I'm cringing. Please start. I know. I mean, it does make you think about Francesca, who she just blatantly demoted Elizabeth. She's like, I'm sorry. You tried to poison us all you're no longer second Just took it away from her, you know so

So now here comes Delaney Delaney comes on board and she tells us that she graduated Berkeley with a degree in media So is which is part psychology which she thought was be super interesting because she loves learning how to get people to do what they want. And then she also, she's like, I also joined the sailing team and oh, sorry, I say my odds is W's because I have a speech impediment. And when I was a kid, they fed me Cheerios. And then I realized that if I made my speech impediment worse, I would get more treats in the hallway.

So I made my speech impediment worse. This is such a story for my childhood. Yeah. I was so jealous of the kids with glasses that I was like, I need glasses. And I just faked my doctor's visit and was like, I can't see that. It's like even the huge E.

I was like, a tiger. He's like, no, it's a letter. Elephant. Okay, he's really, he's really got terrible vision. And so I got these big thick glasses so that I couldn't see through. And I was like always falling down. I couldn't read anything.

And then my eyes got really bad. I messed up my eyes by doing that. And so, you know, then I had to end up getting my eyes fixed when I was older. Oh gosh. I like it. So it's faking it. I like that Delaney speech impediment

just makes her sound like she's a New Yorker. She's like, so now I talk like it. So it's just faking it. I like that Delaney speech impediment just makes her sound like she's a New Yorker. She's like, so now I talk like this. Yeah, kinda. She does kinda talk like that. But she's also got kind of a Sheena little to her voice. Yeah. So she's got a lot of work going on. She's got a lot of work going on.

Yeah. And so David is the first one to meet her. He's like, oh, hello. Hello. Hello. What's your name? I don't care. Listen, hello new pair of boobs on a boat I would love to travel the world with you and make sweet treat love. What do you think of that? Cool. I'm gonna go find a captain

All right then. What have you been like from with that? Joanne? It's Delaney of course Maria I love you. I love you So Delaney goes and meets Sandy and turns out that the lady is actually never touched the interior of her boat She's basically a deck hand even though she said she's a deck stew But she was like, but I'm willing to help inside and so Sandy goes well Do you have a problem sharing a room with a male roommate? No, all genders are great roommates.

Okay, let me rephrase this. Do you have a problem sharing a room with a creepy male roommate? Okay. Now imagine if Bradley Cooper was playing Batboy, okay? And Batboy, Bradley Cooper, really liked sex parties with swingers, okay? How do you feel about that?

She's like, like oh sounds great So Katie comes into meter. It's like oh, how I am well listen, you know what? I think she was brought for debt Katie okay, but you know since since you need help the staffing agency Her name is Norma that's respect her Okay, I thought that Delaney could give us some help so Katie this is all your decision I'm not forcing you. It's completely up to you. If you want to fire the girl right to her face before she even starts, you can do it now.

Okay, totally up to you. If you want to be a monster to a girl who just wants Cheerios and hugs. Okay. What would you like to fire her? Go ahead, I bear you out. Triple tag. I just want you and by extension you, all of America know that this would be you being the bad guy

and not me, I'm just gonna stand over here, okay? Just gonna pet her, here's a bullet serious. So, at least I could have never been a stewardess before. And it was just like everything was gonna be new. So Katie, I don't think Katie was into this from the beginning actually. I think that even when Sandy said that she could bring on someone new,

I thought Katie's initial reaction would be like, oh, thank God. And instead she just does more terrifying. Cause I think that she's in this mindset of like the devil you know is better than the one you don't know, right? So. Well, I think she's just, she doesn't want a fire Lexi. You know, she wants to fire Lexi, you know, she wants to fire Lexi,

but she wants to captain to fire Lexi. So she wants to captain to be like, I brought into Laney, now we can get rid of Lexi. But instead, she's like, well, extra pair of hands, that's always fun. But everyone else is going to be mad because now they get less tip, now they have to chair, you know, how it ends up unfolding basically. Yes. But Katie's like, home, this is my decision now. So we're keeping Lexi and now this is all my decision. She's like, yep, hope you enjoy that. You're fun. So she starts giving her the tour and introducing her

to people and just like, this is Courtney. Courtney's like, hello. And they leave and Courtney goes, fuck. Oh, yeah. And that's like, really nice to meet you. Okay, welcome to our bedroom. And every time you come in, make sure you put your keys in this bowl. I have a question.

When I masturbating late at night, would you prefer me to go flap, flap, flap, or more like a thaw, thaw, thaw, thaw. Just let me know either way I can accommodate. So Katie's like, say what's so I expect you used to? Actually, I'm not really used to boats. Basically, I was a stew on a train. She's like, wow, I was a stew with a brother. Or I then. Or I then.

Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. Or I then. All right, well, that's a totally different job in industry.

Okay. Well, you just do it now. She says with this like past of aggressive bitch, why did you say you're as you were it is. Now I have two unqualified people. I've got a babysit. I know. But the lady is also the worst because she's like, oh, that's a hot tub.

Oh, because that's what I'm used to doing. I'm used to duaning the hot tub. So do we have to do it in it? She's like, no, because you're a hot tub. Oh, because that's what I'm used to doing. I'm used to duaning the hot tub. So do we have to duane it? She's like, no, because you're a Steve now. Oh, but I'm used to not being a Steve, so that's why I was thinking maybe I should do a duaning the hot tub. It's like, oh my God, you don't need to just keep pounding

this into the ground, Delaney, okay? And Malia. They can see you make it. And Malia tells Sandy that if Delaney has time and wants to come outside, she's more than welcome to, ooh, here's my prediction. What if what they decide to do is they decide to move Delaney into being deckhand

and they move Lloyd in to be a stew? I could see that. It's a very uninteresting twist in prediction, but I can see it. I know I got bored in the middle of the time. I know. What? It's like the I got bored in the middle of the scene. I was like, what if? It's like the least interesting hypothetical in the history of crap.

What if what happens is? I was staring at the texture on my wall like, co-chees. I should even mat out. So then, and Matt starts making a deconstructed lunch because everyone has all these different things that they want. I mean, they've listed enough shit for like a whole month of a

charter. So then Courtney's crying in the laundry. Just crying. And Katie comes in, she goes, what's her name? She's like Delaney. Is this something you want to talk about Courtney? She's like, well, I think I'm breaking my back for no reason It's like put your not you're a damn good stew She put like what am I full stew now or something? Like well, she's not a stew. She's a fucking dick hands. Don't even worry about that. You know what? I would be completely screwed without you all right and I told Lex told Blixie that if I'm going to make everything even there, so if anything happens, there's no room for any nonsense from Blixie. And then we just cut to Lexi making a bad and yawning right in the camera.

Wouldn't have been awesome if instead of Delaney, it was Dan and Delaney. That I would believe that was. Yes. Why didn't Delaney make everything better? Okay. That I would be the best. Why did the Delaney makes everything better? Did a Delaney just comes on as a steer? Like, yeah, well, I was on China Beach and yeah, just trying something new for my career. Yeah, she whipped out some desperate housewives action.

Delaney's Delaney's amazing. So Katie's like, you know, what I could have been given the sheets to you and you stayed, oh, I got you. And they're like, oh yeah. So then outside the deck hands were talking about Delini and David's like, well, she's nice. And Lloyd says, well, I think that Dave could do well with some new girls on the boat.

And basically Dave's just talking about it. He goes, do you remember her name? It's Andrea, right? Andrea, pretty short, starts with an A. Andrea, A. A. I had Lord's like, Lord's like, know, he could do with some fresh blood or he could just be rejected twice.

This is going to be hilarious. And then someone's like, you know, he's like, Katie, Katie, Andrew, Katie, Katie Delaney and like, oh, Delaney, not even close. Yeah. So then, like, see, tells us, I mean, we've all been demoted, but Katie gets to keep her title. So if we're all even, shouldn't we all be even? I mean, lead by example, right? That's not exactly how that works.

The boss doesn't have to demote herself just because you're failing. She just didn't want to deal with the entire. Thank you for coming into my office. I'm sorry, but I'm letting you go, which means I'm now out of a job. So I want to go have a bunch of letting myself go too. I fired everybody. Yes, it doesn't work that way. So Delaney knows nothing about anything, basically.

She doesn't know about laundry. And Courtney's saying that if she were Delaney, she'd be like, fuck it. I'm leaving. I'm not going to stay on this boat. You're giving me, I interviewed for one job and you're giving me a whole other job. I'd be like, bye, but you don't get to be on TV that way. I mean, she is a media studies major. Yeah. And Courtney is like, all right, here's how you do it with the guest clothes, quick wash cold, just in case it's weird fabric always hang dry, walk tass go with walk tass, any form a certain way. And till they need like, I mean, I do my own laundry. I'm not an idiot. I was about like, touring in high school, I'll figure it out.

So, oh, famous last words. Famous last word. It. Oh, famous last words. Famous last word. It might be her famous last words. We're not sure how much longer she's gonna be on the season. So I'll crew get into your whites. Okay, I'll crew. And so they're getting dressed.

The lady doesn't know what belt to wear. But then like she just starts, I said she's staring at them fluff pillows. I guess there was a pillow saying they were fluffing pillows. Yeah, she's doing a lot of like I'm watching you to line. It's like you can fluff a pillow to like me. Okay, you don't need to be trained to do that. I know. So Katie, basically the provisions come, they've ordered a store bought cake,

which you know, normally it'd be like that is tacky, shame on you, you're not a chef, but we've seen what he does with real cake. So, good job. Yeah, this is, we understand, we understand the limitations, which is part of growth. So then the guest started arriving, and the primary is this woman named Danielle, and she does the whole, I'm a hugger, I'm a hugger, which means that she's going to be the most wasted, right? I think there's a correlation between saying I'm a hugger and getting wasted off a shardonnay.

Yes. And she also doesn't she seem like the daughter of that lady from the last below dexies in the captainly yelled at when she jumped in the water. Delores. Delores. Delores and Danielle. Yeah. This is like Delores's daughter, Danielle.

I think I agree. They're very similar. So now we go into boat tour and the girls, it's an all-female charter and they all want to see the galley and everything. And I just walk around and Dave is showing Delaney how to put on her radio. Delaney then just tells us, I'm not currently in a relationship and that's all we hear. So it's like maybe suggesting that the two of them are going to have a spark or maybe

not. Yeah, David's just so, he's just that guy like everybody who comes in, he's like, I'm going to dite her. Like, Kroles, what is everybody who have to come and be subjected to your penis, okay? Can people just come have a fucking job without having to worry about which guys gonna try and fuck them? Like gross David So, um, yeah, she's like I'm not in a with-at-ation ship So we'll see and then the captain's like guess what?

Got some plot coming in Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom I'm just saw it on the map. The weather's picking up. Don't, don't, don't. And then Danielle, with the charm of the primer, is like, you know what, I like bourbon, tequila, and everything else. I'm just getting wasted. Just giving me an IV of booze. So we're doing the undocking and Lexi waves at somebody and Danielle goes,

well, I ain't shaking my, I ain't shaking like that, my arms jiggle. And she goes, you know, goes, well, I shake like that, my arm's jiggle. And she goes, you know what, I woke up and I was like, I'm drinking today and she's already wasted. And like she's like, that sounds like a drunkard right there. Yeah, I like that Danielle says that is if she doesn't say that every single day. So this is a novel idea.

So Matt and Delaney are in a cabin together, and I don't know why I wrote that. So then, yeah, because they're sharing their cabin, and then outside Danielle is going, how on's the twerk session? Hey, twerk session. Yeah, of course she's that lady, and pink leopard skin type.

What do you call those pants? Not yoga pants, but like, who cares? Strangely pants. Strangely. Bending over the railing, doing a twerk. And everyone's like, oh geez, who invited the city? I know. But Z is like in the crew mess, talking with Lloyds.

And they were saying, which one, Lloyds asking which one does Z want to see twerk the most? And he actually wants to see Daniel to work. And then they're just talking about who's the prettiest every, you know, it's but you know, it's just kind of funny when these guys are like, are being pervy because it's just so much different than the brews because like when it was like ash gin and brine on like, yeah, you know, you want to want to fuck yeah, and they're like, I like that one. Thank you. No, but see, it's tricky. It's like like I do prefer these guys because they're not all gross like those guys always are But David kind of is he's just doesn't under that nice guy guys, you know where he's like, well look at me

I'm smiling giving people compliments and not just think outright misogynistic so I'm much better And I don't know sometimes I'd prefer less of a sneak about it. Just like, yeah, they're all correctly terrible. Yeah, exactly. He's like, sneakily terrible. So they're talking about who they want a bone. And Lord's like, I locked the lady in white. Well, 90% of her, mostly.

And Z is like, I think I like Bailey. I don't know why I remember her name. But I do Bailey. Her name is Hayley, you see? Yes. And then Danielle up on the deck is like, hey, can I get on that flag and hold on? Yeah, this is PTA meeting. Yeah.

And so Courtney comes out and sees Danielle with like a leg fully over the rail. And she's like, OK, okay, so maybe don't you don't lean all the way over whilst we're moving. So when I asked and they said, I we can do it. So I asked, like, what did you ask? You asked, I was thinking that. Someone will talk today from twerking.

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You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. So then, Danielle is saying,, yeah, I want another one. One of them least shocking things ever sat on this show. So then she's like, then we see the lady downstairs doing laundry, talking to herself like Lexi. And she's like, I thought I would see some sun and I'm doing laundry. Sighting. Yeah, she's like, I interviewed as a deckhand, my CV is deckhand, I didn't know there was any suituses.

And so Katie comes in to check in on her, be like, what's going on? And so Katie's like, well, I understand, and it sucks for you. And if you feel this is not for you, be honest with me, I will not take a personally. If you'd like to quit right now, we can do that for you.

That will be your decision, not mine. Do you want to do that? You want to quit. You want to quit, don't you? that for you. That will be your decision, not mine. Do you wanna do that? You wanna quit. You wanna quit, don't you? You're quitting? If you wanna quit, say nothing. Say nothing.

I know, everyone's just trying to make Katie make a damn decision and she won't do it. The captain's like, you wanna fire her? And the Katie's like, do you wanna quit? Oh, so then Katie puts Lexi on break and tells her she's gonna be on breakfast second day in a row. And Lexi's all pissed. Well, she's at her, be ass.

I'd be ass, but Katie does it in this like passive way where she says, so you're gonna be in breakfast again and obviously last trip we know what happened with breakfast. So hopefully we'll get it right. We're just like, so condescending and passive aggressive. I mean, it's, I understand her frustration because Lexi is a terrible worker, but also it's like that exact kind of passive aggression, which is going to set someone like

Lexi off. Yes, but I love that it also blew up Lexi's plan because Lexi's plan was if you suck at the job, they'll stop asking you to do such a true and it blew up on her face. Now she just has to do it again. So then we go to deconstructed food. It's like family style, but you can deconstruct it. Which I guess kind of happens with the actual families. Most depressing. Well listen, you know what? These ladies obviously didn't call each other and say, hey guys, what can we eat? That would be the most convenient for the chef with the sex addiction.

That was not done. That was not done. Yeah. So then, um, but the guests love the food. We love is what one of them say. And then, I mean, while Katie calls the lady, she brings the lady upstairs, and she's like, you can just like hang up here and you can see what's going on up here because it's like fun up here. And so now, meanwhile, it's time to put out the water toys and Zee tells us he's like, well, you know, it's having attractive women on board makes the situation a lot easier at times, but like, it's really hard

because there's women on board and like, there's a lot of things happening and like, you need to be more focused because something goes so wrong and like, what if there's women on board and like there's a lot of things happening and like you need to be more focused because Something goes so wrong and like what if there's a woman and what if there's an anchor what if there's a line and what what happens There's a storm and like you guys got it's like okay see we get it we get it. There's women on board Then someone flies off a jet ski Should have seen that coming she was just so gorgeous Then maps looking over preference sheets and he's like God you're all so different. So then Matt's looking over preffered sheets and he's like, God, you're also different. What is wrong with these people? It's already for her. And then Pan starts on fire, a handful of fish. And so he grabs the pan and he grabs it with

one of those pot grabber things. But then that thing starts on fire, so he gets like some of the rubber, whatever it is burnt onto his finger. He's like, gaaaah! I mean, it was, I mean, it was, it was like, he looked like he had caught himself on fire. It was pretty crazy.

I also feel like, I would have taken like one second to put on a pod holder. I don't know, maybe, I guess, and I'm saying this as someone who caused a fire last night in his Grill which admittedly it's a grill, but I really had lots of things on fire I feel like

put on a The Potholder or a minute. Well, I was using one of the square pot holder things. So I guess Yeah, but it's not protecting everything I guess. I don't Trust the square thing. I don't trust. I have time to think when everything's fire. I guess when things are on fire and you're on a seafaring vessel, you just say, maybe I should put out the fire first. So I guess you probably did that correctly. I just don't want to give him credit because he's a noisement. He does start a lot of things on fire though, right? What was on that fish? What did he do? I mean,

I mean, the explanation. I was upset that they did not have a camera angle on that fire. What did he do? I mean like I need explanation. I was upset that they did not have a camera angle in that fire. I mean at least this time he was looking at the fire as opposed to last time when he was just whistling away and something was on fire behind his back. Yeah. So the captain comes in. She's like, hey, just your friendly meddling captain here. Oh, what did you bring yourself? Holy my god. Oh wow. Oh, that's like that's like a holy moly. Someone who has digging a nap in five days. Whoa What a mess That's bad. We gotta get that taken care of Emily is like um I thought you put iodine on it. It was just as burnt skin. Okay. We got to call Dr. Lemonade. Dr. Lemonade, are you available?

No. Okay, guys, we're moving on to Dr. T. Dr. T, can you, okay, great. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Matt's like, whoa, Sandy, I'm telling you this right now. If this is not any incident, I'm not trying to leave. She's like, oh gosh, all right. We'll call Dr. T.

Dr. T, Come on out here. Normans like why do you got a comedy doctor? I just don't want to call you a norm on come on. Let's have some professionalism here, doc. Well, can I be Dr. Diet Coke? No, Norma. Dr. T, you're mad. Matt, so I've got some bad news. Dr. T isn't here. There was a mix up,

but the good news is Mr. T is here. And he says he pays you as a fool. Oh God. Well, that's not as helpful. No, but it's raising a lot of morale around here. Get that guy strong. You know, when I told Norma I wanted an ATM, I didn't mean it to be so literal, you know? So the ladies are in the hot tub like, well I went lady, you saw my hot tub, you know? And then Lexie. Hey, did you guys see Mr. T down there? Who would have thought? And Lexie's asking Delaney to go up there and ask them what to drink.

She's like, I'll train you how to do it. I'm sure I'm used to the boats where the deck doesn't speak to the guests. And she's like, well, you're going to learn how to do it now. So they go and take drink quarters and stuff. And then Malia is helping the chef turn off ovens. Lexi, by the way, Lexi goes, hi ladies. Delaney wants to come check in on you guys like knowing The names right this episode Delani also

Lady goes waities. I bought the fine What I'm bringing to um also Lexi's being so nice to Delaney, which is hilarious because clearly Lexi is trying to get an ally to go up against like Katie and Courtney, right? So she's being so nice to her. Yep. And she goes, wow, look at you. You're now a stewardess and that's coming from a beauty queen. So congratulations. Sorry, I don't like to talk about that very much.

Anyway, beauty queen. So congratulations. Sorry, I don't like to talk about that very much. Anyway, beauty queen out. So then Dr. T comes and she's checking about Tad and that goes, I've gotten to her soon. What do you think? What do you think? It's like it's a burnt scan, dude. Like what do you think she's gonna do?

It's not some game show where she's gonna give you a better prize. I know. And I like what she's like, well, it's burnt. When she sees it, she goes, fuck, Matthew. Well, she's well, it's definitely a better prize. I know. I like what she says. She's like, well, it's burnt. When she sees it, she goes, fuck, Matthew. Well, she's well, it's definitely a second degree. So here, so she just puts some stuff on it, you know,

I mean, I feel I felt so bad for him because as someone who burned himself and talked about it on the bonus episode a few months ago, and then also burned himself again recently, it is not pleasant. So she leaves and did you notice that when she left, there was like this super, super hot guy on the Nolchi boy and I'm like, was that Martin? Who was that?

Do they have another secret hot guy on this boat? How many secret hot guys do they have? Well, there's two of them because there's some Martin and Frickatio, the other Martin. Yeah, or like whatever, there's two hot guys. But this one I felt like I hadn't seen before, but maybe it was the other Martin yeah or like whatever the other there's two hot guys but this one I felt like I hadn't seen before but maybe it was the other one that wasn't Martin because he doesn't get as much

screen time yeah another one of our huge talkers that's for sure that's yeah so um they everyone starts getting changed for dinner and then Lexi shows Katie the table she said she's like I mean I hope this is okay it's just what I pulled in Katie's like Katie the table she sat she's like I mean I hope this is okay. It's just what I pulled in Katie's like

Katie's been real weird this whole house yeah, she's losing her mind and so the math's like I'm in pain I'm in fucking pain. Oh man I used to work in this restaurant and there was this guy who had a whole thing of Fry oil and it turned around and the oil went all over this lady's arm and just wrapped it up and went back to work and I think, you know what, if she can do it, then I'll be fine. Oh, I quit, I quit, I quit. Yeah, she was just trying, you know, she was the owner of the restaurant and this guy then he turned around with another bag of oil and he poured it on her head and a little

face melted off onto the floor and she just kept on and cooking. It was like watching Freddy Groover make a great dish and so that's how I know that I could oh my finger I know. And then when she was wrapping herself up I got carried away and I kind of jerked off on her and I said that's how I know Why no if she can do it I can He's 20 in the So So you have got so So the guests the guests love the tablescape and the woman's like it's classy. It's simple It's just like me. I'm like you're comparing yourself to plastic tablecloths right now, but that's Yeah, congratulations. You're said you're're comparing yourself to a pick and save setup.

I know. Congratulations. You can be found at Harris Teter. He's like, wow, here's some pastons, some chicken farm. Oh my God, this is groundbreaking. They're just the nicest guests, really. They're complementing everything he does. And they put some lettuce on the table

He's like it's a good deconstructed so it's like you are The only one who's not there is Danielle because one thing that's been happening over the past two minutes of the show is they keep Cutting to her we just hear her voice. We don't even see her. She's downstairs. I'm like I lost I'm lost I have on my room and now she goes I'm getting ready for my big day, B.O. Aaaaah. Yeah. And then Lexi's like, so you've done some of the tells, right? But not all of the tells, right?

And then Mickey is one of the guests is talking about how she woke up. She's like, I woke up and I had no idea where I was. And then it hit me. And I was like, I'm on a yacht, bitch. I'm on a yacht. Yeah. I think that's fair. I think someone's allowed to have that moment. Yeah. I think if you're on a yacht, I think you're entitled to have a moment of saying, wait a second, I'm on a yacht. Yeah. So, so then, so now it's time to pull out this cake for dinner. And so the cake is coming out, it's getting windy, and they're sort of doing this like

sad happy birthday. And for some reason, we keep cutting to David's sleeping and it never leads to anything. The entire time I'm thinking, oh no, David is going to over sleep something. And he doesn't even over sleep anything. He's like, oh, it's a total red herring. They're like, and David, what's David doing? Sleeping. Uh oh, they're eating David, what's David doing? Sleeping, uh oh, they're eating cake. What's David doing?

Sleeping. Does he have to be awake to cut the cake? No, they're cutting it themselves. He's sleeping. Katie, Katie, Sandy, Katie, Katie, Sandy, why don't you come to the bridge, okay? So she's, there's a meeting with Katie in the captain. She's like, management just called.

Turns out we cannot allow cabin sharing with a male and a female, okay? Cause this vessel has a management company and I tried to get Flagstate to endorse it and they just got back to me and they said, hi, this is Flagstate. I said, hi Norma. She said, no, not Norma, this is Flagstate.

Hi Norma. Cool, you better stop it. And by management, I mean a lawyer at 30 Rock who works for NBC Universal, says no sharing the cabins unless they're a couple. It's very defined, okay? This is, it's not maritime law, but it's pretty close. It's management. Okay, so Katie, you have to deal with this.

Okay. They cannot sleep in the cabin tonight, but this is you. This is what you get to do. This is not my decision, your decision. Okay. And I also want to really cement in there for whatever reason. It is the chief stew's job to assign rooms and only the chief stew. I don't want anyone involved in this because it's the chief stew's job to assign rooms and only the chiefs too. I don't want anyone involved in this because it's the chiefs do's job to assign rooms. Really funny. Last year she's like, oh, room decisions aren't the chiefs do's. Those are first officers, you lose, you lose.

So they decide that they're gonna put Matt in the same cabin as Martin, poor Martin. He's too hot to have someone like Matt stuck in this cabin. And they show Martin. Oh my god Martin is really just he's really something special. I really feel like we are being robbed of more Martin footage, right? I feel like you're the David of this podcast. I'm the David. I like looking at Martin. I Do you're following in love with everybody who comes all the boat. Well, I wonder if Martin would date me. Well, because who else do we have to look at?

Matt? That's true. It's like, yeah, this is a season where they got nice guys. And now we're like trying to get the Larry Curly and Moe or whatever. Larry, Larry and my cousin Larry. No, but it's not just that. It's like, they're all very lovely sweet guys, but they're very like normal looking. They have it sort of cute. And then you just have like Martin who is like blazingly hot,

and he just lurks around the shadows of this show, and we see glimpses of him once in a while. And it's like, why, why are they deprived us? Yeah. So Katie tells Matt the news, and Katie's like, I feel like this is starting to be more of a hassle than a benefit.

And then she's talking to Katie about it. She's like, I mean, is it even worth it switching six people around? And they show up. Everyone's pictures and start showing how difficult it is to rearrange everybody. It's literally worth it. You are like dying here with Lexi and like they cannot get their shit together. It's this is like another helping hand to do laundry. So you have to move beds.

It's totally worth it. Also you guys live in like six feet of space. You know, like six feet long of space, you have one suitcase that fits in the overhead. You can move this. I believe in you guys. You're like half of you guys, your job is to pack shit. Like you're always packing shit. You're like half of you guys your job is to pack shit Like you're always packing shit you can pack shit. It's okay Like you're not moving your 60 inch

Visio television from one place to another like just fine. This is worth it So she's telling Lexi well This is a problem because we all have to switch all the rooms. Oh, we lose delay me Don't don't problem because we either have to switch all the rooms or we lose delay me. And Courtney is checking on Matt and saying on on on on scale of one to 10. He bed is the pain. He's like, 11. Oh, yeah.

So then Katie tells Delaney about the room situation. She's like, thing, I just know what to do. And then we got to we go upstairs. We see Z, Z pulls Courtney and he's like, Hey, cool, have you smelled the love potion yet? And so then now Courtney and Katie are smelling Z's chast which is cute. And then, and then Matt has to move in. Now he's moving it with Martin. He's like, Oh, sorry to invade your personal space. Where's a good place for me to jerk off, Martin? Mm-hmm. He's like, oh, too hot. This is starting to the lany.

And she's like, so how was your first day? She's like, no, what I expected, but I'm making the best of it. And when he goes, well, I saw your CV, and it said that you have stew duties on there. And she goes, well, but that was like different. That was just like handing out Costco flatters to people. Just, um, well, if you don't understand the stew side, I wouldn't put that on my

resume. Yeah. It's like, well, I thought, you know, I thought maybe I'd have to make a stew. So I think my mom has a shout out of recipe. So I went to college with the guy named Stu. recipe. So I went to college with the guide names too. Stu chains. So now 11 23 Dan Y'all finally emerges and she's like, Hey, what's up? Yeah. And she puts

on this like big bikini suit. It's like, like one of those like faux, sumo wrestling things that people can get into. And she wants to give David a lap dance. And one of the ladies is like, oh, this poor man has to sit here and endure this. David has never been more excited.

This is the most action he's gotten, I'll chart her long. I know. David's like, Amanda, right? Oh. So then, Malia checks on Tom. Wait, Malia checks on, oh my God, she checks on Matt. Sorry, Malia checks on the chef, running Maria's storyline. So she's like, are you okay?

He's like, no, really? She's, yeah, Berns Suck, dude. Nice empathy. So I know, I've dated a chef, so Berns really suck. So yeah, so there's just sort of like this end of the evening kind of stuff, where there's just sort of like this end of the evening kind of stuff, you know, where there's sort of talks, Matt's upset about the bunk situation. He just wants to go to bed and then there's like Z and David are in the bridge and they're

talking about moving cabins. There's just a lot of like discussion about them. Yeah, like how hot the lady is or not hot. And David's like, well, actually, she's cool. You know, she's a marked person. I'll wait till Charlie finishes before I throw in a follow in it. No, it would be creepy, huh?

Smooth. He's totally gonna get it in. So now the wind is starting to pick up and it's 237 AM and the rain is coming down and now all of a sudden, it's 5.55 AM and Lloyd is relieving Z from the bridge. Nothing's happening. Nothing's happening. It's raining and people are just changing off their shifts, right?

So, Delaney is back. It's now at the morning and Delaney is back in the laundry. And Lexi is the only one on this group that has no issue with changing cabins. Because this is all that we're getting. There's a lot of discussion about what about changing cabins? Are we have to change cabins? I don't know about changing cabins.

I don't know how I feel about changing cabins. They we have to change cabins? I don't know about changing cabins. I don't know how I feel about changing cabins They're really just stretching out this and Cabins are really making another leadership mistake here by going around to everybody complaining about it Yeah, like it's someone else's choice and then kind of getting them all on the side that no, we don't want her here Like why would we want her here? She doesn't really even know her job and we get less tips and we have to change cabins. So now she's riled everybody up to this position. Now they're going to kind of resent her if this doesn't happen, right? Yeah. And Delaney has actually been nothing but helpful, right? She just does. She's doing a good job. Yeah. Yeah. So far she at least seems to know as much if not more than Courtney. Yeah, exactly. So then Katie finds the lady goes, any case up? I don't think so. Cool. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. Awesome.

Yeah. Cool beans. Yeah. I've got an idea. I've got an idea you want to meet in the bridge, Katie. She's oh my God for the millionth time. How many times are we going to do that? They see these inches. All right. She's like, all right. Come on up, honey. Let's talk about it. So she's like, all right, come on up, honey, let's talk about it. So she's like, all right, here's my concern. I don't think Delaney is happy, you know, it's a shit hand she's been dealt.

She's like, well, here's my feeling, you wanted someone correct? Well, yeah, I mean, she's great, but my problem is kibbings, because people aren't happy, but Coy Katie, no, just say, fire Lexi, give me Delaney. Or, you know, fire Delaney say fire Lexi, give me the Laney or keep the you know fire the Laney keep Lexi make up your fucking mind you wish was I agree I agree and Sandy is like well, there's only two charters left and so the decision is up for

Okay, multiple choice a not sandy be Katie See not anyone else, all of the above. E, gotta love Norma. Don't you love Norma? Is she doing the good job? Sweet collar. F, what about Dr. T? She's pretty cool, huh? So Katie's like, all right.

Thanks. So she leaves with no direction either, right? So then we just, all right. Thanks. So she leaves with no direction either, right? So then we just hear Matt go, ow! Yeah. I don't know what that was about. He's making his... He's making his... He's making his...

He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his...

He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... He's making his... The unicorn thing is dead now and everyone has a moment of feeling really bad for Maureen. Yeah, they have an RIP montage for poor Maureen, which poor Maureen. So then Courtney is, she's feeling very met about all this room change. She's already annoyed that she had to change a room for Lexi when there was a big fight. So she's super annoyed that there might be another room change. And meanwhile, the rain is it's picking up. And so there's questions about is the anchor holding and to answer that

question is Sandy who says, I think the anchor is holding. So then we go on to breakfast. Yeah. So the ladies are like, oh my God, I looked at a picture of church on the phone, so I feel like I've been saved. And they're like, oh my God, that's so funny, we're skipping church. And then David helps Matt out

and they bitch about the situation that they're not gonna be gonna get as much tip and Matt's mad that he lost his cabin and he's burnt. And then Courtney and Katie are talking and Courtney bitches again about, you know, how she's not liking this. And Katie's like, well, you know, I'm over it. All right, this is just causing too much drama.

You are causing this drama. You cause this drama. Everyone's busy working. Everyone's busy working. Have Matt stay with Martin for two nights. And then when the charters over, everyone just changes room. I mean, literally the stews pack guest stuff,

the deck hands, lift guest stuff, they can come together and pack and lift all their stuff and move them into different rooms. So Katie's like now gone to everybody multiple times and stressed them out about it. So now she has to make a decision and she's made her decision. So she's really nervous and she goes to barf. So she goes to barf and then she's like,

um, Delini, would you like to come to the bridge for a second with me? Don, don, don, don! So, then Katie gives her big speech to Delini. No, you've been great since you've been here and the thing is, I was under the impression that you were dexed to, and you said on your CV that you've been astute and you haven't really and I'm not gonna I'm not giving you a go just gonna lay the foundation for why I'm not the bad guy here So for me do I take that risk if you're not gonna that you're not doing what you want to do and like with all these rules and regulations You know for me it seems like it's causing more problems than it's worth. And I don't mean that you as a problem.

I mean, we cause this commotion. We move six people around. There's global warming. I mean, I'm not saying your fault for global warming, but at the same time, like how many hairdryers do you use on a daily basis? That's what I'm saying. One thing I really don't approve of is tracing the ocean. Not that it's really your fault, but it's been settled.

And Dwayne, he's like, uh, well Not that it's really your fault, but it's been settled. And Dwayne, he's like, uh, well, I think it slightly, I'm fair to assume how I would act in the future when I've only done great so far. I think it would be only fair to give me a chance since I've done such a great job so far. And she's like, oh my God, she's got me on that one. Now what do I need? She needs actual logic. What I'm trying to say is, the storm is coming, the storm is coming,

the storm is name is Norma. Oh, oh, oh, oh, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun you're folding there. But I've done a good job. So I think that that's that's what you should concentrate on. And Dalyne is like, um, my hardest thing is how do I not meet your expectations? I remember high school. If I got it on satisfactory grade on something, I would go to the teacher and I would say, I would breathe my Cheerios breath in their face. And I would convince him to change my weight after all. And so, by the way, Delaney is like, you know, I think I think it might be fair to give me more of a chance given that, you know, I've been doing a really good job so far. And Katie goes, yeah, but now it's going to be awkward. I was like, kid, you have a chiefs doing your saying this?

This is like the least authoritative thing you could have done is like, well, now I have to fire you. So I tried to fire you and then you came back to me with logic and so now you know I wanna fire you. So now it's gonna be awkward, so I have to fire you. Like that's terrible, that's terrible. Yeah, she goes, I just don't know why like as the Chiefs do, like if a stewardess

or a fucking bunny came on board board if they were helpful and they made Situation's better. She's okay. Look you can stay till the end of the child and we'll talk then and she's like oh, okay Sure, so I think that would be fair to have the discussion at the end of the trip Should I do laundry? She's like all right? She's gonna take a two hour break. Thank you. I'm like and and you gave her a break. And you gave her a break and now you're gonna complain that she's not gonna be contributing to the boat after you give her boat. Like, now you're angry at her for defending her job.

So funny. Totally ridiculous claim, because you don't want to change rooms. This is what it's come back to. Two seasons in a row. The chiefs do not want to change rooms and the drama that ensues. Although I think in Hannah's case,

it was very justified. So guess what? It's stormy. Storm can't spell storm without three of the five letters of norma, right? So this ringing and storma. It's loomy. So then take Dr. T and Norma and you get You're getting close to stormy

You know what norm is favorite thing to eat this Shwarma, that's funny. Didn't really have anything to do with this or that, but it's always speed be laugh I've got a good norma story or as I have to call it a stormy. Hey, there we go story. I was like to call it a stormy. Hey, there we go. So, um, they're, you know, reset the anchor. We're tracking, but reset it. We said it. So then, how the anchor, the, okay, so now they're, they're doing the anchor stuff over the radios. And Lexi's like, um, Lloyd, Lloyd Lexi, Lloyd, Lloyd Lexi. I'm, I'm, how the anchor when you're ready, the minute you see it is the minute we're gonna let go God we might we might all drown. Let's try. All right. There's lightning. There's lightning

Decoroo Decoroo Lexi Lexi we're anchoring Oh God. Oh God. The storm. It's right on top of us. Oh God. This is gonna pass. I promise we're heading right into the jaws of I'm not gonna say the monster, but like the platypus, we're into the platypus. It's not really a monster, it's a storm. It's a regular wind storm. I just how this was edited, they showed the captain going,

oh, there's a storm, but hey guys, guess what? We're gonna be past it soon, don't worry. And then the next time they show Sandy, the whole screen is yellow. It's like, whoa, wow. It is like lightning bolts yellow. It's like, whoa! Wow! Oh, wow! It is like lightning bolts and Malia's like, I think we're ready to drop the anchor!

Should we maybe go to shore? No, no, no. This is good television, okay. Oh gosh. So basically, everyone's freaking out and screaming in the cat's like, this tool will pass, okay? Now, I just need you to work with this storm. Work with this storm.

You know what, if you don't like this storm, make the storm a better storm. Okay, inspire the storm. You know what, the moment you see the anchor, it's gonna be your decision if you drop it right away. Okay, not mine, it's gonna be your decision. But by the way, just, oh, just gotta call for management.

Anchors and sea beds cannot share the night together. I'm sorry, so no more anchoring. Oh, gosh, and that brings us to the end of below, Jack Mediterranean. Da, da, da, da, thanks all for listening. On our next episode is the season finale of a very polarizing real house was of New York season. So we will be recapping that one looking forward to it. And then

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