Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckMed: Yawn of the Dance

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

It's epi one thousand! We celebrate with a revist to our old Clear the Flem segment. Then, a terrible music video is made on Below Deck Med and Captain Sandy and the crew become Fly Girls for it. Will anyone break a tailbone? Will Anastasia be promoted to full time chef? Will Joao be able to continue his streak of behaving like a non sexist misogynist pig? Let's see! To hear this week's premium bonus breakdown of the new RHOC trailer, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Cleveland, Baltimore, Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Conlon. Yes, we can with How me over on the Rose Prakes Bachelor Rest. And as per you, here I am with my little bestie and co-host, Mr. Ben Maddle Curve, the B-side blog, and the real house with kitchen island. Well, it's cartoon you can find on YouTube. It's hilarious. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you today? Good, everybody. We've got a crazy announcement today. We're going to Atlanta. We're going to be at City Winery in Atlanta for watch what crap is live. Okay, you can go get those pre-sale tickets tomorrow. That is Wednesday. You can find the links to that over at watch what crap is calm. The pre-sales for Patreon members. Patreon members also have access to our bonus episodes.

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Crappens.com. Scroll down to the calendar. Here's the other shows we're doing in a couple of weeks. We're on the 25th, 26th and 27th of July. We're in Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Baltimore. After that, we're going to Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Carbureau, Richmond, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago, NYC, St. Louis, Philadelphia, and Seattle. We've got a crazy, crazy ass year coming up. So we hope that we get to see you guys over at those live shows. Okay, go get tickets. Yeah. And perhaps the most exciting thing of all is that this is our 1,000th episode of Watch What Happens. 1,000. That is absolutely insane. It really is. I am, Ban, I love you. Happy to run. Happy thousands. Well, we are a four digits. We're in the four digits now. It is crazy. I cannot believe we have turned out a thousand of these things.

I know, I'm so happy to have this, you know, this little gig, so happy to have you, so happy to have everyone listening. Guys, thank you so much. This is a dream life, okay? It really is. And it's like, it's so cool to be, to be like riding this podcast wave.

And when we started podcasts were a thing, but they weren't like a thing. And we just were started doing it for fun. And we know for many years, we were just sort of like this outsider podcast. And because of all of you guys listening and tuning in and telling your friends, spreading the word and joining our Facebook groups

and things like that, and coming to our shows, you guys have like helped us grow so much. And, you know, like, the fact that we've been able to get a thousand episodes out of this and like become our own sort of like, I won't say that we're like a force of nature, but we are like a, what's less than a force of nature?

Like a feather, a feather force of nature. You know who's saying? We're a we're sprinkling outside. That's what I said. We're not a force of nature. I didn't say we were. I'm saying that like whatever like the small version of that is like a pebble rolling down a hill. Okay. What Ben means to say is we're not driving ubers. We're not driving ubers or waiting tables at the moment. So thank you very much for that. Okay. Yeah. No, it's just like it's cool to be like, to be riding this wave. And I don't think we would have been able to, to get on the wave with our little surfboards. I had an oven for everyone. So that's what I have to say. So to celebrate, this is a below deck med recap. So don't worry, that recap is

coming. But to celebrate, we're going to do one of our favorite crap and segments from over the years, which is Clear the Flamme. Now, Clear the Flamme is a segment that we do all based on Caroline Fleming's Instagram. Caroline Fleming is from Ladies of London, which is gone, but never forgotten. One of our favorite all-time bravo shows, and Caroline Fleming is hysterical and takes herself very seriously and has an amazing Instagram to scroll through.

Yeah, because she is like a Baroness, she is an actual member of Danish royalty and she lives this fabulously privileged life. And so she likes to sort of speak, she likes to sort of reflect on her own life, but it is so just like perfectly Caroline Fleming that we are never short of amusement when it comes to her. Yeah, so I've found a post.

Caroline is making some big moves and changes in her life because it's the thousandth episode. Yeah. So this is Caroline standing in her living room, her ornate living room in a white dress with one shoulder cape. And she's looking down at, is it her hands or is it two pieces of gold jewelry? Yes.

This is her caption, a very special evening awaits me, and now I'm thinking about my speech. How profoundly difficult it is to put into words how I feel as the door to the last 25 years of my life is slowly closing and a new chapter is gently opening her page and showing her light. I take a deep breath as I philosophically ponder upon all the beautiful people who have crossed my path over the years, about all the blessings and lessons I have been fortunate enough to learn, about all the experiences I have had, I arrived in London as a teenager, mardling, and I am leaving as a very grown up woman, a mother of three gorgeous children

in entrepreneur, a TV personality, an author, and still a dreamer and believer in fairy tales. I feel a little shocked, not in a bad way, more because it is really the end of an era for me. In this country, I got married, I gave birth to my beautiful babies in this country. I lived with my parents and did first schooling in this country. My mother tragically passed away in this country. I have had the most important experiences of my life in good and bad In this country I have learned my most important lessons and I have been given my most cherished life tools

I am so thankful to be where I am today. I am so grateful to have had this home, to have been given all the chances life through my way. And to now, very soon, be going home. Heart Danish flag, heart Danish flag, heart Danish flag, heart Danish flag HOT Danish flag HOT Danish flag HOT Hashtag

Lasaba Oh my god Jesus She is officially living London I think Araline to sign off as Jesus I know I mean when I came here to this country I was just a young beautiful model

And I leave an older, wiser When I came here to this country, I was just a young, beautiful model. And I leave an older, wiser model still, still a model still a model. All I read was in this country rich, in this country rich, in this country very, very rich. I have been so blessed to be here in London and teach other people about almond butter. How lucky are you to have me the teacher about Pesto? Sophie Stambury wrote in and she said, so beautifully said darling and very sad you will no longer be waiting in your kitchen with the best coffee in town.

For a weekly chat, did you hear that other Caroline? I'm still friends with Caroline Fleming. Now I'm excited for your new chapter and happy we will be keeping off regular chats. Did you hear that again Caroline? Regular coffee chats. Now for those of you who think that Caroline just lives in her own rarefied world, she keeps her real, because she also, her very next photo down is her, standing in front of two, wicker-esque chairs holding a handbag,

hand on the hip, looking down, shoved forward like, oh, I'm just standing here, I did not realize I'm always taking a photo. And importantly, it is geotagged. Sticks and sushi, Chelsea. And there's a whole bunch of Danish, and then after that, she says, I feel myself becoming more and more Danish for every day that passes. And I love it, and I feel proud.

Not many weeks now till my little family, and I move to Denmark. This evening I am wearing Danish clothes and I am eating at a Danish restaurant with my Danish family. I can't get enough of everything Danish and I am so happy. Hot hot! There I say I would like to order a Danish. We'll sound die. Yes, sticks and sushi, the most Danish experience one can get. Yes, Stix and Sushi, the most Danish experience one can get. And then, Hunde Klirktin says, absolutely adore how you are feeling so Danish, being proud of being a Dane, and to top it all of, moving back home to gorgeous Denmark, flag, flag, flag, flag, hard, hard, hard, flag, flag, flag hot hot hot hot hot hot hot

and then someone is someone named Rosie, dumbass Rosie goes, so she keep moving out of London. Are you even on Instagram Rosie? Caroline Fleming is clearly ready to be a Danish star because she has incorporated Danish captions into her Instagram. And there was a period of time when she changed her Instagram handle to the the the Baroness Caroline or something like that or Caroline Baroness or Baroness Fleming. So she is ready to be like, I have come back from Danish from

Spring A and now I shall be your queen Dan Mark. Danish, Danespringer. Danespringer. Someone get the Comte, she is ready for me. I am back. Man, you know, big milestones for everybody today. Thank you, Caroline. Thank you.

Thank you. Clear the flame. And now it's on to Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun version of Love Island. And I'm saying that not to be like, I'm, I watch the British version. I'm saying that because I feel like I've spent a weekend listening to a variety of Liverpoolian, Manchester, Scottish, Irish accents, which means that I'm just going to be killing it today in the accent game, or it's going to be a total mess for me. And I'm really excited to see what comes out of my mouth. I'm going to be terrible, so I know that, you know, but I'm rooting for you. Thank you. Now there's another thing we have to address right away. This is actually an extremely important thing that we didn't discuss last week.

You know, every now and then we have to be like, okay, something came up and, you know, we've been hearing about it and we have to address it on this show. And I'm glad that it's the thousandth episode for us to address something serious, you know, because sometimes we say things and, you know, we think we're just making jokes and it's actually something very serious. So what has to be discussed is that the funchers who are the guests on this boat, we're like, where do we know them from? They were on Shazasonset.

They are Reza's benefactors making his shampoo. So they're put it down. Yeah, well, I don't know that they're the benefactors because you had to blow half a million dollars on that. And guess what? I don't know that that's going anywhere. Funches. So I'm looking at the funches as the people who stole Reza's money and I'm looking at Reza as the sucker who got suckered into paying for the stupid, terrible music video. Good morning. Good morning. Reza underwrote this, this, terrible music video. Good morning. Good morning. Resa underwrote this music video. It's a good morning. I'm waking up.

It's morning. Now it's afternoon. You're used by a hair product in the morning. Yeah. She's doing so for me. And by the way, Way to Go Funchez for not even putting Resa's product on camera. You should have been like, wow.

You know, in like, wow, you know, in this, in this Mediterranean humidity, thank God I've got Reza shampoo. Yeah, these guys are like desperate to be on Bravo. I don't know what their deal is, but last year they last season which probably shot around the same time this did, don't you think? Maybe.

They worms their way into both shots of sunset and below deck mid. So there you go. So there we have it. There we have it. There we have it. There we. Yeah, there you go. So there we have it. Good job, bottom feeders. Yeah, a lot of bottom. Funches, funches, funches, honkies, fun cheese. Got that out of the way.

I'm really glad that we addressed that because it was actually killing me. Like, where do I know these people from? The funches. So we open with Travis, whose name? Guess what is not Tyler. But you reserve the right to call him Tyler. I do you know sometimes I start taking notes and I just short-hand their names and god knows What's gonna come out today? Okay, but for right now his name is Travis He gives a little bit of a Tyler vibe so I think it's like understandable and I you know what any if you say Tyler I will not correct you

Well, thanks a lot no, I'm letting it be Tyler, because sometimes people are Tyler's. Travis Tyler. Yeah. Yeah. Travis. Okay, can we open on the second day of charter and the music's very dramatic. Oh my god, can you not see that from there? He's like, no, I can't. Look, you've been this whole thing.

Jow out, come back. Jow out, we have a situation. Jow out, Jow out, Jow out, Jow out, Jow out. That time. Colin, I mean, what was going through his brain? I mean, he should know by now. What's his second season? That's all right, Collie.

You live and learn. You live and learn. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for the lessons, nice lady. We all make mistakes, Collie. You're my favorite son. And guess who's not a mistake? You.

And the mom is Hannah's waiting on the couple and the mom's like, do you have ice tea? Oh God perfect you guys are perfect They're so happy with anything that's modly The modly is satisfying after the disappointment that is their daughter's musical career. Sorry, I just went in really hard on Ashley B. Sorry Ashley. I just Had to be said thousand episodes. You never know what's gonna come out of our mouths So the captains was throughout fixing the anchors. She's like can me your lines hand me your lines in the sinker gets up It's got to get the hardest nap hug I've ever given anybody So that me while down on the galley anesthesia is you know making breakfast for everyone She's like you want to think for breakfast it a shirt. She's like

Oh Hey, are you serious? Oh, you make my faniting with a breakfast option. So then the captain is talking to Colin. She's like, Colin, get on the tender because I'm keeping you out on board. All right. Go out in the middle of the ocean where losers are. We're going to drag you along with the boat. Hey, I'm sitting in the tender just waiting for along with the bow. The mom has sex and Kali. Welcome. Mom sitting in the tender, just waiting for Kali to get there. Yeah, for by the way, for anyone who's wondering why we keep doing this strange lady voice, uh, because we like to imagine that Collins mom is just on a little robot next to the canoe,

shouting, uh, encouragement to her son. Um, so she's like, okay, Colin, Colin, have you ever driven a goddamn Tinder? Cause he's like, oh, I'm so nervous. I want to put the key in the ignition. They remind me, Colin, you say you're a fairy boat driver. Does that involve putting a key in an ignition? Like, how does that actually work? Is it just sort of use like happy dreams to get it across the way to fire island? Is that how that works?

Yeah, fairies powered by players and no practice. Yeah, yeah. What's a Scrabble word for put the key in the ignition? God, I don't love that banana. So, Joao is getting mad because they're doing all this anchor stuff and they're playing up the chain They've got to sort out the chain. It's all greasy and gross and he's like, I can't believe it We've moved the boat four meters for a good background shot for a pop star I mean what it back in Zimbabwe we call this a Ransom of the boat

I don't know why but we call it that Then we just get a quick cut of Travis going, have you gotten a mayo up in this beach? And then we're back to the captain. She's like, it was a shackle. It was a shackle, D. Are you sure it's not stuck? It should be pouring out of there, you wow. It seems so clear to me. And she's like, every captain's nightmares, what I have on Sir Rokov.

Fuck that banker last season, fuck that banker this season. I will not allow the anchors to beat me a new book by Captain Sandy on unencored I hate the anchors such a nightmare now let's set up an anchor sanctuary I'm our oh god I invoked the anchors all over. And the captain gets on the radio. She goes, I'm over these fucking nightmares. God damn it. She's like turning it to Captain Lee and Anna stage is like, LOL, did you guys hear that?

This is great. Get on the radio. I feel like Captain Sandy's journey is like watching the Star Wars prequels, like watching, you know, Anakin Skywalker slowly turn into Darth Vader. It's like we're seeing her every season just getting closer and closer to becoming Captain Lee. Someone takes off her mask. That's the cat dammit.

Listen Lou, I'm your god damn father. God damn it. Here's a plane ticket. Get the hell off my, get the hell off my planet. Kali, I am your mother. Oh, what the, this is true. Callie, I am your mother. Oh, what the heck? This is true, Callie, it's true. Oh, so then the redhead, the girl who's a choreographer for them, the redhead, Cassandra,

I think it's her name. Yes. She sees Jack passing them by on a little tender or something and she's like, look, it's Jack, hot. Okay, he's denying me. This feels great. This feels great. This feels great.

Yeah. I'll get back to my very simple hand choreography. Okay, everyone, Pretend you're Audrey II with your hands. Okay, great. So then, Hannah and Travis are flirting in the galley. He's like trying to post something to Instagram and it's like not working and Hannah's like you want to connect to my hotspot honey All that sounded dirty. It sounded almost like I was asking you for a ticket to Prague

I think he's adorable, but I'm not in that place where I want to date a mean on board Lysy was a disease staff and then we see a clip of her sobbing and she's like We're not falling love with the mean I'm pushing away. And kept just like, bad-hidden and worthy. To love is to love. And to have love is to have love. All right, let's get to work, all right?

So then we see Jack crouching down and smoking and drinking Coca-Cola. And then Ashley, meanwhile, the like, Cassandra, director Cassandra has this great idea. Let's put Ashley on the yacht bike, which is already a strange device. It's not a very sexy bit of machinery. It's like this tall, exercise bike on the waves

that you sort of have this weird hunched over position on. It's just awkward, and you actually just on it, be like, good morning, good I woke up like good morning time to get through the day and my bike on the water makes no sense. It's so funny she's singing good morning she's like I got nothing to prove but I still work like I do and it's her just not moving on this bike. I still work like I do as the entire video is about her on a yacht vacation that's funded by her parents Yeah, nothing says like go nothing says go getter Yeah, then I'm selling money from one res to pay the munches. Yeah, nothing says go getter like

going on a Trip on a yacht to the Mediterranean funded by your parents who in turn got a discount because they did it on TV. Yeah. So Colin's like, you're working on that slide and Jack's like, it's all set. And you're like, this slide isn't even tied on, bro. If you've got more radio, bro, I can't find it. It's on the bridge, bro. Bro. He didn't tie this slide on it at all. One bit of a wind and the slide would go flying off. So Jouwau is having a hard time.

He's tired. You know, there were a man down because Travis Tyler is in the galley helping out Anastasia, so they've been working really hard. And Jouwau, he goes down to the crew mess to do some good old-fashioned sitting down with your legs spread-e eagle at the table and Within seconds guess what yes, I said something up on the bow Yes, and Jack is doing that thing. He tied the slide wrong and Jack goes into change into his wets and he just stays in there forever and Jack keeps looking at his watch

But he has to do the workings because Jack's taking forever and Jack's like I'm gonna take my time with everything. What's the rush the world's going nowhere? Yeah, oh my good So then Ashley has another set up for her music video so Colin's holding like a little lighting sham He's like wow. I feel like the fluffer right and as we all know the fluffer is the person who pre fluffer, right? And as we all know, the fluffer is the person who preps the actor, right? Right? And the producer just goes, that's a person who gets people ready for porn.

And he's like, oh, I thought that was a general term in the movie biz. God, I got a stuff saying that. Wow, so that's sort of awkward when I told mama be her fluffer while she made dinner. It's okay. I know what you meant in the, I just, uh, I turned on some Michael Blame really loudly during the time it was okay. I, I don't need to think about it anymore, Kelly.

Then you see Cassandra outside with stupid Ashley going, good morning, good morning. She goes, you have a real talent. You were born with that. Maybe she'd dormit. Like dormit. But all that was a money in one place for her, her lady.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So then Jack is like doing some backflips off the boat, because why not? And then, uh, Jouah was like, oh, look at you. During backflips and not tying together slides, well, I'm trying to eat dinner in the crimus. And Jack is like, oh stop being so moody about the sloid, you know, soid on. And

Joel's like, wait, one guy's to point out the slide would have blown up as an engineer I thought you would have known that. And Jack is like, I'm clever mate, I'm clever, I'm cracking on that slide if you know what I'm saying. I'm clever, I'm a, I'm a, I'm on a Jack 50 or something. I'm trying to use all the The the the lingo I learned on love Island. They said I'm That's what I have to show is have to show them is them saying I'm clever. Mate it is what it is I'm I'm on I'm on level 40. I'm on level 50. She's a bib She's a bib

I'm clever mate and just like if you're clever you tie this lion correctly. He's like, did you sit keep an eye on things? I watched him and he's like, he's like if you worked as much as he did running that mouth, he's starting to irritate me now. You pop turkey goblin! Jusobob is about to come out. I had to put Jusobob onto that crazy bicycle thing that Ashley is on, but she's sitting on it. And then there are Travis is working in the kitchen with Anastasia, and they're like trying to come up with this fancy dinner.

And like, what do they eat? And what do they do? And then they cut to the fancy family and they're making Dingo ate my baby jokes with dad function or dad munchin or whatever, dad fun. Oh, fun chows and by proxy. Yeah, funchin by proxy. Resus is gonna show up all Doey with bleach blonde hair, overly tan skin. So Sand, you know, anytime I'm below direct that they have a personnel change over someone gets fired,

there's always one of these scenes that's so fake that the producers are like, could you please pretend like you're doing this? So it's like, hi, bonjour. This is Sandy from The Yacht in the water. I am calling because I need a new chef. Thank you, French staffing service for yachts. Usually when I'm looking for a yacht chef, I have them come on board, cook me a meal, give me a hug, and then I watch them take it out. But this time I'm just going to have to take their word for it. Just like I did with Mela also.

That worked out great last time. So Hannah comes up with this idea that the crew is gonna because there's a rap party Which by the way is hilarious that they're doing a quote unquote rap party for people who are like not familiar with like Showbiz that's showbiz girls whenever like a movie or like a video or a commercial whenever you're like you're done And it's called it's wrapped this RAP party not all you would be surprised. Listen, it's a 1,000 episode. And I don't know if people are starting right now.

You like for those of you who don't know who Colley's mom is. This wrap party is cracking. This wrap party is cracking. At the same 1,000, we're bad explain stuff. You know what? Why? Don't appreciate you. Whoa. You know what? It's a 1,000th anniversary and I'm being bitch at you. You know what? Why? Don't appreciate you. Whoa.

You know what? It's a thousandth anniversary and I'm being bitched to you. You know what? I would like to take this. This is it. I would like to take this thousandth episode to apologize to you for being bitched to you. Literally.

Literally for no reason. You've done nothing but been a good friend to me. No. No. Actually, the real reason is I'm not, it's actually less important for me to be like, this is what a rack party is. It's more like, you know, when you, when you're finished with like these productions take, there's a lot of energy and a lot of people and a lot of effort, even

like a student production. And so, you know, rap party is like a thing. I don't know, there's like a sense of like a huge amount of accomplishment. And here's just this woman, Cassandra, who has like Ham Corner, who's recording this girl, like all around the yacht, and for them to be like, it's a rap party. It's like a rap party yeah at the end of every podcast you're like guess what guys time for the rap party I know it's just it's so over the it's just it's just like it's such a like over the top I like to think the lighting person yeah I like to think the runners have the craft services people yeah I don't know it's just such an ostententatious, but it's just, it's such an, like, a, a bombastic, a use of a rap party when it's just basically Cassandra pressed stop on the cam

quarter. That's a rap. Also, I'm getting a phone call at the same time. Isn't this crazy on the movie camera? Well, that's a rap. Oh, you know what guys? We need to do some reshoots because Snapchat just released a new kitty filter. So let's do that, that's a wrap. Oh, you know what, guys, we need to do some reshoots because Snapchat just released a new kitty filter.

So, let's do that. Let's come on. Look, now it's a kitty on a water bike. Hey, is that a small child on the water bike? Wait, that's a man, isn't it? Oh, so Hannah's like tonight for this rick pony. I thought it might be fun to have the crew make a dance. The dance is called.

It's called the Maca-Honey. So Anna Stacia, the interrunner. She's like that crew attack crew. Can I get a runner? A perfect runner. It needs to be perfect. I need a perfect runner to run this. Perfect. There is Carl Lewis available or Michael Johnson? We need the best one. Usain Bolt.

Hi, we need someone to run this upstairs. Thank you. And so Travis has to do it. He's so tired. And it's big. It's burger is, you know, big old good looking burgers. I mean, and a station is like, my biggest fear. I'm like, height, spiders, snakes. Nope. It's failure. kind of station is like my biggest fear. I'm like height, spiders, snakes. Nope. It's failure. The person who puts the most pressure on themselves

is me, is me. Luckily I've never had to see my fears realized. Fear of fact, so the mom's like, I hamburger, God, they're great. I have to take a picture of this. And the daughter, like it's her phone, like she's gonna take a picture of the food which she just starts taking selfies.

I know, exactly. Well, it's really more like B-roll footage for the video. It'll be discussed at the rap party. Which, as we all know, a selfie is when you take a photo of yourself. I was gonna say, are you gonna explain what B roll is? No, I'm not going to Okay, B roll is Bethany Frankl Sherry

To get Kaiserbond Kaiser rolls and dinner rolls into the hands of people who Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident, not-so-expert-experts.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk

about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Oh. So yeah, so Hannah, so there's this moment where Hannah is like, Hi, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, onto everyone on the deck crew. Do you remember what's in the Bosen locker?

This is actually for cash cab right now, and I have a lot of money writing on this. Could you please tell me what's in the Bosen locker? And Travis, like, she wants to know something in the GLA. And she asks you to do something. And you do it, she'll keep asking you. So you should do what I would say. If she says, Jake she asks you to do something and you do it, she'll keep asking you. So, you should do it, I'll just say. If she says, Jake, will you do something?

I said, I don't remember. I don't know what's in the, I don't know what's in the bosom locker. I don't know, maybe it's a dildo. I'd certainly lock that. I get kinky every now and then. I'm cracking with that dildo. You only have one life to leave, don't you? Why dildo, why dildo, why dildo, looking in me, person lockers for people. I wonder if there's a babe in that

locker. So the babe. So, so then mean Travis is sort of like he looks a little disgusted by this, but I don't know, I think this is just supposed to be more character building to show that Jack is like a super lazy person. Yeah, meanwhile, doing the great job of convincing us. I'm surprised that you haven't gotten mad at Hannah for sitting on the table when she cleans it.

Doesn't that make you crazy? Every time it happens, I write down, Ben is gonna be so mad. No, because I don't think she's mad, because I don't think she's doing it to be cool. Like I would get here, and she's not doing it to be cool and she's not doing it as a result of bad parenting.

So like for instance, when Call of Richards puts her like little kids on the kitchen counter while she's not doing it to be cool and she's not doing it as a result of bad parenting. So, like, for instance, when Call of a Trids puts her, like, little kids on the kitchen counter while she's cooking, I'm, like, gross. Or, like, when Teresa's kids get up there, I'm, like, gross. When Carol Radswell sits on a counter at the camera shop in New York City, like, she's, like, a cool girl on a date, I'm, like, gross. But, But one hand I have to get a stand up on this enormous table that's filled with funch residue. I sympathize with her. A table full of funch. Funch.

So meanwhile, Anastasia's in the galley making the best unicorn cake anyone will ever have. I am a perfectionist. I'm making perfect eyes. This is not perfect. I'm making it again. This is not perfect. I'm making it again. This is not perfect. I'm making it again. This is not perfect. I'm like how many baby chicks are gonna have to die for your perfection obsession, okay? Just eat the icing. I know. People don't realize that a unicorn cake is actually made with unicorn meat, okay?

Which means by implication that I actually found the unicorn because of course I did and I killed it. And so she calls her mom's like, Mom, question, this is my frosting, it's a good consistency, but it's too sweet, which means it's not perfect, which means it's not servable, what do I do? And we learned that her mom was actually the head pastry chef for the president of Georgia, so of course, you know, the pressure's on and the mom's like, oh, you know, first of all, you're doing a great job. Also, just add more wood butter. What I mean, what is this? So then let's see, Cassandra gives everybody their outfits and Hannah calls everybody up to do rehearsal.

And so Cassandra's like, okay, guys, thanks for coming to my dance studio. Hi Jack. Okay, he's facing the wall. Okay Jack, pretty much hates me. So today we are going to learn, say the word by Ashley, okay? All right, so here we go, here's the choreography. Okay, it's hug, bump, bump,

then some say the word, which is the little hand thing. Okay, if you ever seen Heather DeBro talk, okay, we're gonna do a little Heather DeBro. Okay some say the word which is the little hand thing. Okay, if you ever seen Heather DeBro talk, okay we can do a little Heather DeBro. Okay, say the word, hug, bump, bump, say the word. Travis is like, in the wordies, shit. Gruey no parted dance for 13 years. I did more than chance, then ballet but it was so boring. It was so boring. Do you know that Martha Graham doesn't even have one single move where she sticks her finger up a bomb.

And Colin's like, well I don't mean to choreograph the choreographer but I think you need to start with your pause first or at the end or you're gonna lose the music. I'm a music nerd. That's right, ya' colly. That was really great, colly, because people need to learn. My dog officially hates Colin's mom's voice. He's just over there growling at me on the couch. It's like, oooh. So, they're learning their choreo, which was not unlike, I feel like this dance I did in the Steve Boy camp.

It was, I don't know. It was like the punch the wall, punch the wall to the other side, punch the walls. It's very much like what you imagine your parents doing at their prom, like if they were in the past of Greece It was like wasn't there like a thing from the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie that was like how How funky is your chicken? How funky is your chicken? How loose is your caboose my caboose is pretty loose. Isn't there something like that?

Yeah, I don't remember that one. It seems like it might be and a stab him to the side and stab him to the side and he will at a stage that comes out probably doing like fly girl choreography. I was like, whoa, it's like sorry I'm just really good at dancing to I know she's like Gregory Hinesing it all over the room She's like perfect. Wait a minute. She's doing the entire 42nd Street show by herself. Is that in ranking? Yeah, I decided to move some faulty into it as well. I hope no one minds. I just sort of thought I'd, besides working to do this thing.

And the stage is like, ah, moving out. That's like being like the full on Billy Joel, rubbing musical dance. Did she just throw a ball in the air? Yeah, I sort of do some rhythmic gymnastics on the side. I thought I might mix it up. Does anyone have a balance meme?

Cause I can also do this a little bit of that too. Yeah, that's why I was, why is, why is Santa stage are doing ballet in the middle of an Irish protest? She's like, Billy Elliot. Perfectly. Perfectly. Are you, is that, are you doing JLo's moves now? I mean, just, just, just, just some casual stuff.

So then we see Sandy and, and the wheelhouse practicing. She's doing her dance over and over. She's like, I'm gonna get this one. I'm gonna nail it. I'm every pran-zino. Is that me? Anything you want on BB? I'll do it pran-zinoly.

Well, well, well. I don't know why she's singing, sugar god. They are, but she is. She's doing it. I'm into it. So, uh, yeah, so now, uh, it's time for dinner and, uh, hands like, dickroot, dickroot, hand in hand, a dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, dickroot, I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know.

I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. And it goes like this he had a coming he had a coming He only has himself to play me up pop

Cicero nap anchor Mapshits Banana toast Anchor sanctuary So then she's like that's it. I'm a new captain Sandy. I'm not taking any crap. I'm gonna bitch him out over the radio. Cool. This is Captain Sandy. God, I love you. I wish you were up here to help with plates. Because once you do that, we can get to group rhymes with bugs. Hugs. That's right. Get on up here, guys. I need everyone to step it up. Oh, oh, no. I don't mean like the movie. I mean, you actually need to come

up. Stop dancing. Stop the, oh, okay, let's everyone dance. Let's everyone dance. Who might it be the John Lithgaow here? Am I right? Let's just Kevin Bacon this, all right? Everybody foot loose, foot loose. Everyone get anchor loose. Matt, you Colin you've already fucked one up fucked up one anchor to go. Go where is he on and couch. So Jack and Travis are talking and Travis is like I'll just want to mode about Hina. I know exactly what you mean. So he's made some honey. I didn't really notice it first but then she started started wearing those pencil skits. And say, honey, all the time. You see how I...

You know what I want? I'm absolutely, honey. You know what I wanted to do? I want to take one of the boobs out of her bra and keep the other one in, and then pet it back, left and forth, like I was a little kitten, and it was a toy. I'm like, oh, pip, pip, pip, pip, and I'll take the other one out, and I'll put them back and forth together, like in the courtyard, and be like, boob, boob, boob, boob boob boob that's what I want to do

You want help? I'm a music major get out of here nerd. Oh, I didn't realize you're talking sex talk. Sorry I'm gonna go be a fluffer for captain Sandy up there. Oh gosh. Gotta say it's not saying that Well, you reckon she takes off that brawn. They just sit there and jacks like they want a band, but they want to you not supposed to cage a free bird So the stews are like so they're running they're getting the the food up there and the stews are cleaning downstairs and Dan Funch is like this is the best callie flower I've ever had That's what I say too, I call my little cauliflower. And Collins helping clear the plates and the mom's like, look at Colin, he is multi-talented

and then Mr. Frunch is like, yeah, you're a good-looking son of a gun, is what you are. A good-looking son of a gun. It's like, okay, Frunch. And all that jazz and all that jazz. Oh, sorry. We're not yet not there yet I like big naps and I cannot buy You know what they're captain candy nigh when he got sales the in a little bitty shim and Shimmer word can someone look that up

and the shema word can someone look that up? So Hannah's like, Anastasia, it's Krushina. She's not only impressed us, she's impressed herself, which is the most important person to impress. And so dinner is served and there's a horse radish foam. I cannot with your season two foam, okay, it can't. But everything else looks great. The steak looked amazing. Wow, that steak was actually cooked perfectly. I mean it looked like murder But very deliciously done murder looks like Dina looks like Dina to me. Oh, no Murder Dina the better Dina story So now their crew is getting changed into their costumes for the big dance Which basically means putting on these like Ashley BT shirts, which is kind of funny that

And by funny, I mean odd that the punches brought, of course, Ashley be merged onto the yacht. I was like, hmm. Yeah, the one with the, yeah. I think this was kind of planned. So they're all changing, and the captain's like, okay, can we go over this dance first? Just kidding, just kidding, guys guys just I got it I got it

okay um mr. cello thing cello thing how's it going again? Jan Fassi here here reporting for duty so they go up and they do the stance and call him so when they mess it up. Yeah. He was the one who's being mean all about it. And he's like, I have no idea what these moves are supposed to be. There's like the, you know, it's like we're doing that. What are they called the duck dance?

What is it? Da-na-na-na-na-na-na. You know, the duck dance. Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. The roll of razzle dazzle. There's a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little My god, and then she comes into a unicorn cake, which has like three different colored layers. She's like, oh my god, like, oh my god. And just at a stage, she's just smiling like, I know, I know. And the mom at this point, it's just wasted all the time. She's like, that's amazing.

Look at Ashley getting some attention. Does she ever want to, congrats Ashley, it's the more attention for you. I guess it gets no attention me Just me They made a movie about me Tell us Rain hey, they made a movie about me saying John Crawford it would be called mommy who is They would be called Mommy Who Is? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha starring Eddie Murphy as a police detective goes to California because Beverly Hills what?

If they made a movie about Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves going on a bus to the certain mile per hour of the bus will explode it would be called speed. The mom's not in it. Hey if they made another movie with Keanu Reeves and he's like a computer guy and he's like I'm happy that you're happy. I'm really happy that I could make someone feel special because that's what makes it. We're happy to be able to make a lot of money. We're happy to be able to make a lot of money. We're happy to be able to make a lot of money. We're happy to be able to make a lot of money. We're happy to be able to make a lot of money. We're happy to be able to make a lot of money.

We're happy to be able to make a lot of money. We're happy to be it's like, I'm happy that you're happy. I'm really happy that I could make someone feel special because that's what makes it worth it. And the money. And can you still hear Ashley behind her going, down the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me? I'm like, you're sitting with the people who are paying for a yacht for you

to shoot a music video on, okay? And a music career that they are also funding, knowing full well, it's gonna go nowhere. Yes, you've got like the incredible funders of a dead end street sitting at the call. Yeah, you have someone who created an emotional cul-de-sac for you, okay? And they did it happily.

Yeah, they're basically like throwing money into a sinkhole at this point. Thank your parents. Thank your parents. That's the sweetest thing they ever did. So then the captain who's feeling really wacky comes down with some cake and she's like, I ate another piece. Just kidding. The old cake out. Oh God. Oh man, we're having too much fun on this yacht this season. Hey guys, guess what? We have another bite of this cake just kidding no more cake for me pre-diabetic guys You know it's been an honor to fly this plate just kidding

Like what is what is Captain Sandy on a comic tour of the season a comedy tour of this? What's the deal with cake anyway? Okay, you say yeah, it's called a cake, but what? Could be a pie, right? Just a tall pie. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? Captain Yonfield. Yonfield.

So. So. You're not to do anything wrong with it. Oh, so she's like, gosh, Anastasia, you found your calling. And Anastasia's like, oh, well, I need to work on my knife skills. But I mean, otherwise, check need to work on my knife skills. But I mean otherwise.

Check out third stoop pulling that up. I've never seen that in my whole career. It's amazing. Now parent skills can triumph for down to the kids. What did my parents give me? Just an unceasing curiosity about my own victim. So then Jack and Travis are talking folding towels or something. Oh no, they're changing or something.

And Travis is like, are these underway yours or mine? Because those are classic granted, don't wear. Those are yours. And the captain's like, alright, someone get up there. It's all fun and games until someone has to go to work and they right yeah I don't know what you're talking about everything is fun in games to me because I just jerked off on your cake they are said it I'd like to thank you you sponge cake so then Hannah is having to stay up all night and work because they're down in person. She were still 2.30 in the morning and I'm like, oh, I can't wait to see who gets yelled at.

Yeah, yeah. She's a mighty Hannah. She's my favorite Hannah. Yeah, you know, you always know you're getting set up for something fun when there's like a late night montage of someone cleaning up alone on the boat. Yep. So it's the next morning and Travis is tired. Um, and because he's been working the galley, working the deck, doing double duty, etc.

So he's just getting more and more exhausted and he just wants to take an app. Yeah. Um, and then Jack and Travis are double kissing each other because they're really cute. Yeah. And then Asher's like, Oh my god, this breakfast is so much beautiful thing I've ever seen. It's like a me. I would like to thank this breakfast that's the highest thing anyone has ever done for me. I'd like to thank this breakfast for providing me with a musical career in this boat to be honest.

I don't mind me, the mom over here. Yeah, just, uh, I'm basically, if you look at me, I look like a chair, right? Because I'm C-3, you just see a chair here, huh? Just an empty chair. I've never identified so much as that scene in back the future when the mom just disappeared out of the photo. I was like, that's my life right there disappearing and I didn't even have to go Cause a rip in the space time continuum just had to be me So then Ashley gets my hair 9 pounds of hair put on and Jack brings up the buffet and the mom's like God, I let how they all help out here. Look at that. I just want you to

Notice that you're being noticed. I'm like rhymes with palm. Do we get wind chimes in here? What's that noise? And at a stage that brings him up some smoothie bowls, I would throw you over board if you served me a smoothie bowl. Yeah. But you also serves it with a side of croissants. So you know what?

Immediately forgiven and put it on a pedestal. Okay. I mean, it is sort of annoying having to like drink or smoothie like a soup, but it's also not the end of the world for me because it looks cute and you know, these people they need, you know, they need a little. Just because it's healthy, you know, I feel like on trips, that's when people are supposed to be like, okay, if everyone will tilt their head back, I will be pouring vegetable oil down it, followed by some chocolate syrup. Yeah, I would want a big old Benedict, although they had that yesterday. So, you know, what else? I want French toast. Prepare for Dachon, prepare for Dachon.

So then Jack and Trab, they're so in love, you know, you're stuck muffin. Year to stuck muffin, stuck muffin. And And to us just up there like, who's prohibiting me stod muffin? And Hannah can't find her epilets, you know, which is like the epilets, that's be well know with the things on the shoulders or whatever. So she like catches this idea that they all wear the Ashley B shirts,

so that way she doesn't have to find her epilets and iron them. So they all line up in the shirts and then the guests are leaving and Asia's like, they're the same lovely. Oh, so Hannah's like, I reckon that was a massive tip, eh? I just wrote a down and then she's dancing around like she's like, oh yeah massive tip and drag us. You haven't had a massive tip in a while. I presume juggler.

Isn't it nice that since I'm the new drawer, I could say something also disgusting, but it comes off as lovely now. So now the meeting, captain's like, Callin, maybe next time you do the anchor you can move a fender. Now you're not in trouble. But if you do it again, that's your paycheck. Kidding! I'm shooting a game. That's right. That's me. Hannah, could you wipe up that little puddle that Callin' me just then? Thank you. So, did Charter win? Well, it's our biggest tip of all time, $27,000. Plus you'll all get to be embarrassed in the video for the rest of your life. The internet never goes away. And that says something when a video can be more embarrassing than the show that the video was actually made on this. Congratulations. We've all stooped to a new law.

All right, here's your money. So then we get drama violins. It's like, and a stage of the bridge. And I'm not. Kidding. I'm kidding. And kidding. Bring a slice of cake. Just kidding. I don kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. be the chef in the weeds and you stepped in and what I've seen you do, it's phenomenal.

It's almost like you've taken the live like a sandy workshop. I travel all over the world doing to empower women to be whatever they think they can be. You know what? Am I an elephant? I am if I want to go on safari. That'll be $900. Thanks. Point is, I got a new chef ready to go but we got the biggest to ever so the question in my mind

what is the trapezoid anyway well actually a trapezoid is two parallel lines that are of unequal length that are connected by other lines. It's different from a rhombus which is actually four equal sides with equal angles. So that is basically what it is. Oh wow wow you've already put it everything. God even your lessons are delicious. That tasted good. Wow. Wow. That was that was great. Wow. It's a trapezoid. So do you want to remain a chef or do you want to go back to being a third stew? She's like, well, I mean, I do really love helping out Hannah with a crew, but I am a chef. So at least she's wearing a turban and a flowy, like, a caftan. Yeah, get me my spoons And the captain's like hi rack as you said that because your your answer your automatic answer is good enough for me

I'm gonna stick with her because how often do you get to propel another woman into a position like this? into a position like this. Man, excuse me. Here is my prepared choreography for my new song. I ain't looking for a new chef, baby. A new chef, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. That was called the Duck Dance, Colin Totted.

When I sang that, I actually was doing the Duck Dance. I don't know if you could tell from my voice, but I actually was doing a little the totally heard it totally heard it. So now we get another scene where we're we're sandy pretend she's calling LinkedIn. She's like, hello, LinkedIn? It's me. Captain Cianti, boom, sure. Looking for a Thordudo? Alright. Hi, is this Benniggins? Yes, we are wondering if you could send your best wachers or wachers over to Can France. Thank you. Yes, I'll hold. I just wanted to tell you this. I ate a piece of cake. Kidding. Okay, put me on hold You know what? You know what I got to say. Thank God it is Fridays. Am I right? So anyway?

Could you get one of those leaders who's kneeling at a table to come on over to our yacht? Thank you so much. So now she calls Hannah up and she's like, can you hear me? Hannah, can you hear me? Hannah, can you hear me? So Hannah is like, is this going to be one of those good news, her name, bad news, her name, situations, her name?

And she's like, no, look, the good news. It's only good news because Anastasia did such a great job. But she's going to be the chef now. But the bad good news is I have a third stool coming. All right, it's going to be good news, bad news, all right? So Travis will be in the galley with her. He doesn't know this yet, but he's going to be in the repealing potatoes for the rest of season

on below deck. And we got a third stool coming in. And Hannah's like, ha, this is not cadet camp. This is not learned on the job. All right. I'm not happy about this. So she's pissed because she's she basically knows she's gonna get a shit thirt's to. Yeah, because they need that. They know that they've all been getting along. So I think the whole crew is like, Oh, Jesus, what kind of Carolina are they gonna throw into this? Yeah, so, uh, and Travis is annoyed too,

because he does not like, you know, doing double duty here with-with Anastasia. So now, hand has annoyed, Jowows annoyed, everyone's basically annoyed, and-and Jowows like, I don't like being a demand, especially with Jack-Jackas with this, and I've got my best-est I can down there, and I only have Khan, who keeps asking to my fluffer, which is sort of weird.

Yeah, he's like, I don't know if Stasia thought with her ego when she took the position. No, no, no, no, you don't get to do that. Of course she took the position. Were you sticking with your ego when you took a better position? Yeah. You give her a break. She earned that position. If you're mad at anybody, be mad at Sandy for giving away one of your employees and not getting you another one exactly

All crew all crew big announcement. I'm going into town sandy out Gonna go on show off my new dance moves. I Hear there's a pretty wicked dance dance revolution machine up in the bar somewhere in cans so we're gonna try it out and see what I can do. The Yang-Yan-Yan-Lushan. Can I do a cam here? You okay? It's called the Ron-Ron revolution in France.

So the girl's sunbathe and he's just like's like, oh, Joao, I think you should go to the bow. I think they need your help up there. So Joao's like, really? Are there some pussy up there? Here I go. So he heads off and Joao's like, no, that's great. Now we've lost Jack for the day.

Yeah. And he pulls up his box to make it, makes it look like he has a huge slong and then gets the girl some rosé and brings it out And he's like dude trying to jump me tonight. I'll put my clothes back on and I'll talk to this penis as well All right, yeah, and so Joao's calling him. He's like Joao to to to do back to do back Oh, it doesn't even have a radio run. Okay. All right. All right. So he's getting mad and Jack shows up with a beer Yeah, I was like, what are you doing?

We're going to have an issue now. We're going to have an issue and Jack's like, what did I do? You don't work and he's like, where didn't say do this for the first second and the second second do this because I think I'm finished I think I've done it. I'm done. I'm finished. Just work. Just work Where could you done working working? I think I am finished. No, it's not up to you to decide what you've finished, okay? It's not like you're two girls who I get to choose between, all right? You have to do what you have to do. And he's like, yeah, if he was motivated, he might be decent, but he has no motivation. I can be a good leader to people who want to be laid. Okay, whatever. So then Travis and Jack are commiserating that basically, Joao is not a good leader because he doesn't make a list of tasks

of things that need to be done. So then Jack is like, people think I'm stupid, but I'm just not passionate about pushing a boat. You know, like who wants to wash a boat? I just want sunshine and girls. I want to get cracking with sunshine and anchors, but not washing a boat, you know, like who wants to wash a boat. I just want sunshine and girls. I want to get cracking with sunshine and anchors, but not washing a boat. I'm level 40.

I'm level 40 right now. I'm level 50. Girls are a babe. I just want a babe. They're all getting ready to go out. And Anna's stage is like, I'm a fucking chef now. What a fucking chef's to you. They drink.

Let's get drunk. It's like, what? a fucking chef now. What a fucking chef's to you? They drink. Let's get drunk. It's like, what? She really is going for perfection here. She comes back like a cursing alcoholic. She's gonna have spiky black hair like Ben. She's gonna get bacon tattooed on her forearm. Oh no, that's actually very true. You're a Bravo chef now girl.

Get to your Josea tattoos. Yeah, exactly. Get a tattoo of Miz on Bloss. To remind because that life is sort of like mise en blouse So let's see here they all go out and Asia is on one side of Colin and Anastasia's on the other and they do a Colin sandwich song. Yeah Basically, they all go out and start doing shots and stuff. And Aisha orders,

the porn star, Matini, please. And so, Dorao is getting shot after shot after shot. So, we get the sense that Gersah Bob is finally going to come out. And he just has this look, like he's like, I'm ready to let the asshole out. And so, Anastasia is like talking to Colin about like, planning, being a chef planning, and she's like, people don't understand.

You know, they think I just like, you just cook, but it takes a lot of planning, like, 50% of that charter is like, what I put on the plate, and like, I don't come here to stand in the gallery by myself all day long, you know? And you're like, I call and fuck you, it's the gallery by myself all day long, you know. And Joel is like, You're not fair to you. You want to kiss maybe one time? You go, Ollie, you're doing great!

Yeah, and then, uh, and Anastasia's like, I mean, it's just like, I didn't want to be here just to be alone in the room the entire time, but I felt like I couldn't say no. And Joel's like, bullshit. Don't agree to what you don't want to do, unless of course it means flirting with me. Yeah, he's like, you're, uh, you're employed as the third steer, and you're great with that. But are you a star chef?

No. Are you a Michelin star chef? No. And she's like, um, read my face, dude. You're supposed to be telling me I'm great. Yeah. So she runs off crying with, whoopie Goldberg chasing after her being like

Celeste. Just crying off in the streets and she was like, I'm just being honest. How does being honest fuck me over? Which I hate when people do that. Like, I'm just being the honest person here. No, you're being an asshole. Yeah, you're being a jerk. So Joao is like, she's not a Yacht chef. And now you should say says, well she's good enough for these charters though. They look like burgers! For these charters that we've been through? Yes, absolutely. But in the future, and he's like, oh god, I'm the victim now. In the future, I mean, theoretically, couldn't she just make the same preparation over and over again with some alterations depending on tastes

I mean they're different people so why not? Yeah, I don't know so guys just being a jerk. I say good for you girl. You take that raise Yeah, take take the raise and make unicorn cakes for everyone Yeah, okay everybody that brings us to the end of all Wednesday and our one thousandth episode wow Wednesday and our 1,000th episode wow and 1,000 happy 1,000 men. Whoa happy 1,000th you too, honey. So everybody go get your live show tickets, your crap and onto man's videos, your bonus episodes, everything, your shirts, go get them all at watchwhatcrapins.com and we will talk to you next time.

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