Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckSailing: Better Chafe Than Sorry

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

This week on Below Deck: Sailing Yacht, Jean-Luc receives some very good news, and the charter guests continue to fight. Plus, there's a rosé shortage. Sort of. Not really. A little bit? But it's fine. But not.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's what happens

Who's what happens Who's what happens Watch what happens Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who's what happens Who's what happens Who cares what happens Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just absolutely love to watch. I'm Ben Mantleker, you can also find me on the game brain podcast and joining me is the one and only

Ronnie Karen. What's up, Ronnie? What's up, man? How are you? How are you today, Ronnie? How are you? Good. Everything's going great. How's it with you, baby? It's fantastic. We are knee deep in a big week of bravo. We have so many shows to cover. Our bonus this week is the Real Housewives of Potomac trailer breakdown. And we had our 1500th episode yesterday, which was super exciting. So if you, I don't know, if you happen to miss it, just want to reiterate, thank you guys so much for being on this crazy journey with us. Who to thought it would have culminated with this here today, talking about a yachtie who may have an STD, right? Like this is the journey we've been on. So yeah, yeah, thanks everyone. Thanks. Thanks for that. That Rodic you've got there, sir. Okay. Yeah. It's really

added a lot to our week. Yes. So we're talking below Dexaling out today. What a great season. What a what a turnaround. Biggest comeback is below Dexaling out from just being an awful show to being pretty great this season. Sounds like we're nearing the end of it. There's only going to be one charter left, but this charter seems like it's never going to end. So we have that to thank for it. Where in the middle of this? I know, are we going to, do we have five more episodes to do this? Okay, you guys are doing a great job. We're loving your show.

Much better than last year's been said. Do not need 30 episodes of Below Deck. Any flavor, okay? Stopped and chose. End it with these girls, Camden. We're wrapping. Yeah, that's the thing. I can't imagine, like this, this should be the climactic charter.

I just can't imagine what the next charter will be like and, you know, how it could compare because these girls are just so awful and ridiculous and hilarious. I don't want to see another charter after this. Yeah. Now we have Blow Deck sailing adventures coming. Another spin off of below deck is coming. Have you heard of that one? No, I know below deck Australia is coming,

but I don't selling adventures. What's that? Yeah, well, they're gonna, or below deck adventure tour or something. I think we've mentioned this briefly last week, but you know where you're from. I was like an adventure version coming up. Let me cast your adventure.

You're gonna climb up really high castles okay, to make people go have a lunch. You're gonna have a lot of beach picnics on the rocks and there's gonna be like a couple that's pretending to be in love. It's like a... But there will be parasailing, I'll bet. Yeah, you know, Bravo has been trying

to make a below deck at Jason's show work for quite some time. There was apprez ski camp getaway. I mean, I think there was like one other one that was in there. Like, I don't know. I don't know, like going on guide of tours on Donkeys into the Grand Canyon for a season. I don't know, but, but I think that they finally realized maybe what we should just do. Oh, there's tour group. I think that they've just said,

let's just call it below deck adventures and just fold it into the below deck franchise because it's not working any other way, which makes sense because that's what they started doing with the real housewives, right? They just like, yeah, let's just call it. Let's just call it everything below deck. Yeah.

So, okay, so here we are, on Balodic sailing. We start with Danny and Daisy talking, and Danny is really upset because she's just found out that Jail might have an STD, because his penis is red, and so she's like, I don't wanna see him, I don't wanna look at him, I don't wanna be here, I just don't wanna be here. Yeah, she's like, I don't wanna be that girl

with the sexually transmitted disease Like I'm going to be judged forever and then get some cats and be with myself the rest of my life, which I'm like damn Damn she really she really She really spiraling Yeah big big big way And so Daisy's like oh, why don't you just find JL? Maybe our imagination's going really wild. Maybe that's all it is. You know, like we've said, we're not,

we're not strangers to imagination. It's sort of like saying there's 20 pages when there's only five in a basket. So much imagination on this boat. You know what helps me some time to imagine the day that Gary has offered me to draw some dishes on his own without me having to beat the bitch in the port. So then we go meanwhile the women on the chart are still in the middle of a fight.

That started last episode. If I remember correctly, there were like last episode, they were making some jokes about Bianca and then she was starting to feel like she's being singled out, so she paired up with Erica, and she's like, I think people are stingling me out. And Erica was like, um, yeah, you just stick with me and we'll be totally fine. So now they're at the table, and Bianca's confronting everyone, and she's like, we should all be together, because as you mentioned last episode, also her voice totally changed when she was fighting with everyone. So she's like, yo, we should all be together because as you mentioned last episode also her voice totally changed when she was fighting with everyone.

So she's like, yo, we should all be together with friends, but you guys are making me feel uncomfortable. Okay, this was such a bad idea to get eight girls on vacation, huh? And Cindy's like, everyone's talked about everyone in this group. And Daisy's serving them and just laughing right to their faces. She's loving this whole thing. And then there's some girl Jennifer who talks to the task of mouth. She's like last night, when we were trying to be a friend, Bianca, you were defensive with us. And that's what happened. You were defensive. And Daisy's just cracking up. And she walks away and she goes,

just short, or... So, so Glen meanwhile is like fudzing around on a different part of the boat because he wants some stuff uncovered and he's he's saying that you know as they get to the end of the season the crew really isn't on their A game and he's especially after the crash. I guess everyone got traumatized by the trans something like oh we can't focus because we just keep thinking about the transom over and over again the transom. I think he is traumatized because he is not given the shit what's happened on this boat the entire time.

It's like everything's been served wrong. He's like, well, she'll get it at some point. She's a good kid. You know, so people are fucking in the master. Well, here's at least they had the door closed. You know, but now that he's crashed the boat, he's like, I need to prove that I'm a good captain. So I'm going to, I'm going to captain Sand. He this shit and just walk around and feel covers on things He's like, I need to prove that I'm a good captain. Yeah, so I'm gonna, I'm gonna captain Sandi this shit

and just walk around and feel covers on things and be like, maybe this should be covered. I shouldn't have to tell you to cover that one. I was gonna say the same thing. He totally turned into captain Sandi, this episode lingering in the kitchen. Just sort of, yeah. Looking over things.

So then Bianca upstairs is still ranting. I feel like you guys have been completely excluding me. Okay, I come outside, I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm in my pajamas, and I'm getting slutshamed. It's like, whoa. I'd be a slutshamed! Like her voice. She goes from like, Poop, poop, ah on the boat. I'd be a flawed shade. And Jennifer half mouth is like, why are you yelling?

So then, Daisy and Natasha are cracking up just listening to them getting ready to serve some chocolate moose or something. And Jen's like, I was there with you by the house. And she's like, let's say no, I'm done. We're gonna talk about this later. I can't talk about it anymore. I will not be slushed one more instant. So then Glenn comes out and he's like, oh, is everything all right out here?

You know, I'm just capped and Glenn keeping an eye on everything because that's what I do, super responsible. And Error, he's like, um, do you want to join us for dinner tonight? Mm. Mm. Um, so Trumpi walks off and gets her phone and Erica's like, um, you wanna join us for dinner tonight? Mm-hmm. Um, so Trumpi walks off and gets her phone, Bianca.

She's like, can you hear me? These girls have been torturing me since I got here. You know what? Cause I'm the prettiest one. And she's talking to someone in front of you. Oh my god, I love when people say that. I know. I think I'll just take me because I'm so god damn beautiful.

I mean, she looks like a thumb with breasts for crying out loud. So I just also love that she's talking to someone in Fabiana. Like of course, someone in Bianca is friends with someone in Fabiana. So Danny is telling Colin. She's like, you know what for serious now? I'm considering leaving. I'm not sure how John Luke feels about me sharing this but He's like, oh shit He's like, you know what his his dick probably looks like they seek you come but from yesterday What's roll that footage? Let's see that gooey. There it is. Oh, it's a John Luke penis rebranded. BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM. This is beautiful bean footage.

Actually, this is like a literally beautiful bean footage. It's, um, to see, yeah. And so, and Collins, like, if everyone left the boat over in STD, there'd be no yachts he's left in the world. Okay, Danny, since you told me a secret, let me tell you a secret about my life. I'm just gonna lean further. I'm going downstairs, I can't take this anymore. I just, I just whispered into a kitchen aid stand mixer. Where did she go?

Um, so the girls are still talking and she's like, um, she's like, when jellis of heaven I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like me, I like You sit there like a fucking victim. You know what? I don't even know what you're doing right now And you say that people are being mean do you because you're pretty And sorry I got lost in my notes, but I was also then just Listen to you tell the tale of these people So she cost it. She's like I did say that. She's oh, you're pretty where did you get your mirror? Because I'd like to get one I want to put them in all of them I have said every room Like I did say that, she was, oh you're pretty? Where did you get your mirror? Cause I'd like to get one. I wanna put them in all of my house in every room. And just feel as good as Bianca, okay?

Like I'm not gonna argue with this. Mirror mirror on the wall. Who's been the slut shamed the most of all? Mm-hmm. The mirror's like slut. Ha ha ha ha. So just storm soft. I was like, I'm ugly I guess. So she goes and then she

goes downstairs and now Bianca is down in this other room. Yeah. You are not going to say anything about me. All right. You are not going to say anything about me. I don't trust you and you manipulate things. And Bianca says, well, since we got here, you've been making fun of me. So you got you know that Bianca is that person just at all times. Like the moment she does something wrong and everyone calls Rana it that it becomes about how everyone makes fun of her. You know every you know this is every single time with her. Yeah.

So Colin and Gary are talking and Gary's like, I don't want to get misty-d from him to her to her to me bro. I clean bro. I clean. Oh yeah, Gary'm clean bro, I'm clean. Oh yeah, Gary, the cleanest one on the boat. No. There's just something about him that speaks of pure genital health. I'm clean, I'm clean, I'm sometimes like a blind after I've said, I don't know what

that's about, but yeah, I'm clean, really bad. I love the like sexual clue that's going on because when he puts it like that, it is true. It's like J.L. made out with Danny. Then Danny was hooking up with Ali and then he hooked up with Ali. But you know, it could have gone backwards because there's still Sydney in there. So it's like a big circle, you know, and they tell you at the SDD place, you know, if you get an SDD, you have to like make the chain of calls, you know, and they tell you at the SDD place, you know, if you get an SDD, you have to like make the chain of calls, you know. So, you know, you guys should be thankful.

You're all here, you know, you can just all blame each other right here. You don't even have to spend the minutes. No chain of calls, just sort of look around the crew mess a little bit and give each other like that look like, was it you? Was it you? Scratching. So, which would be funny if that actually happened because you know Natasha would sit there be like Why is everyone looking at each other's eyes right now? Like I don't know why I could you look at the food look at the food why are you looking at each other's eyes? Why are you doing it? It's like Natasha There's an SDD scandal So Collins like listen broke might be an ingrown hair and he's like it's going to be more than that

How many times you look at your dick a day? So Colin's like listen broke more being in grown hair. He's like it's going to be more than that How many times you look at your dick a day? I mean at least three times. You know it's going on down there Well, it's funny that you would say that because back in Venezuela, I want to have an issue Well, I guess I better get the tic-tun all right. I'll just tell it to see cucumber So now they are gonna go off snorkeling and they all kind of pile on to the tender. Like Cindy just like lifts her leg right up into the air like, bye guys. Yes, she was good by with her ankle for some reason. Yeah. And Gary's like, oh my God, give me out of here.

So they go out there and Glenn is talking to Daisy. He's like, God, it's like Battle Royale out there. It's like, this is like Borden school. Yeah. And he basically does not want to go to dinner with everyone. So he's got a lie and say that he has a seafood allergy because the whole meal is seafood, which is, like, Glenn, you can't pretend to be the, you know,

the really meticulous captain and then like come up with a lie to not go to dinner. We've never seen that. I feel like we've never seen a captain lie to get out of dinner with people, even the worst people that we've seen. Yeah. This is like the lower rent below deck

and I'm starting to appreciate that about it. I'm just like, yeah, I don't like it. You know what, we spelled some oil on a reef. So what? What are you gonna be assuming? All right. Yeah, go have a second. Literally. Literally. Yes, I don't like it. You know what, we spelled some oil on a reef. So what, what are you gonna do? So me, all right. Yeah, go have a second. Literally, yes. Remodeling.

Yeah. Oh, so there's a ship wreck then there. So they all go in there. Oh my god, it's a crashed ball. Oh my god, they spelled some mean to me because I'm going to. Yes. Why did I get me to do that?

They're like freezing. So, meanwhile Natasha's whipping up a whole meal for tonight. She's just gonna feed them until they're super full because they were hungry the last night. And now, yeah, but they weren't hungry because of just some magical reason. They were still hungry because you were supposed to serve a five-course meal

and only serve three. That doesn't mean that you have to serve 10. Just stop lying to people, okay? Yeah. Just tell them what you're gonna serve and then serve that and stop like changing it in the last second. Exactly. So now the girls are heading back and Daisy finds Jess and she's like, oh, Jess, I know what Glean is invited to dinner tonight, but he's allergic to say food. So I thought it might be best if he joins for dessert. And he's like, yeah, I don't care. Like I just can you just find me one of those fucking mirrors so I can look pretty again

okay that's my kid I'm supposed to so then the getting ready music and um john luquakes up and he's like I have to go to a fucking war zone and basically everyone's just getting ready for dinner so then we go to galley and galley and airy garing an alley laughing together and he's like yeah I've to And basically everyone's just getting ready for dinner. So then we go to Gally and Erie, garing an alley laughing together. And he's like, yeah, I've divided some feelings with Ali, but something doesn't feel right, not confused.

And so she's, because you were down. Are you annoyed? Well, because he wrote down something like, do you want to cuddle tonight? He wrote that down and then she looked at things like, no. And then, so now he got annoyed She's like are you annoyed? We can start a talk I'm like it doesn't really matter

Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's all sulking, you know So then we go to jail going into the bathroom and inspecting his goods and he's like oh shit I'm genuinely worried that I have an SDD. So he calls the doctor and he goes, on my genitalia, there is some sort of sore, abrazed skin and the doctor's like, well, that's worse, I'm that it could be, absolutely. So now he's super nervous. Yeah.

So then, Daisy and Danny and Allie are talking, how are you feeling? Are you better? Are you it's in yet painful discharge sornis tell me about it So then we cut to Sean back to John Luke and he's like no there's no pay-full discharge or sornis or anything And she's like well that just sounds like chafing. Why don't you upload a photo for me? And so he does it's like the first one anyone on this cast has ever had to be asked.

I know. I'm going to get. Also, like, I feel bad for whatever hacker ever decides to hack into that portal. Like, hey, everyone, we met. We accessed the mainframe. Now we're in the real goods. Whoa, whoa, I don't know what photo I just looked at. But I think I'm giving you a packing and going to become an accountant. This was terrible. So the they're putting together a little mermaid or just a regular mermaid themed party for Yeah, and and so Jean-Luc that pulls aside Danny and he's like oh I'm really sorry about freaking you out I didn't mean to freak you out when I said that I think I've got Climidia and Herpes and they've together,

they've grown a general war. I really didn't mean to freak you out about that, but it's probably just chafing. And she's like, oh, okay, thanks. Okay, yeah. She's like, what the hell? You don't know what's on your penis? Come on.

So then Gary and Allie, or he's talking to Allie again. He's like, I'll get some going to go to bed alone. Yeah, and now that I know that they've had six, I don't want to be the one that goes all break for a while. Yeah, and and and and he's still going on about saying how I'm stupid if I were to know. No, or you could just like I'll be stupid if I were to know. And I just, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be. No, or you could just like, mate, like you're not entitled, you're not entitled to have cuddles with Ali, Gary,

like just because you guys kissed and she said she liked you, it's not like you ring a bell and she just has to jump into your bed. It doesn't work that way. And so she tells him, you know, it's non-attractive, quite it's a big, someone who likes storms off and has his teeth fixed. It's also non-attractive quality to be someone who likes storms off and has his e-feats.

It's also non-attractive quality to have that sort of hair, or that sort of voice, or that's a personality actually. I don't know why I'm even attracted to you. It might skew inside the world. So he's all mad. Yeah, he says, he says, I don't have his have his he fits and then he storms off going fucking He stomps his feet up the stairs So everyone's getting ready for dinner and Erica's Eric and Cindy are in the same room and Erica like this

And he's like yeah, I fit too. We are. I love you, Erica. Love you, girl. So, then like, JL, they have like outfits. The crew's gonna dress up like Pirates and Mermaids and stuff. And, and Daisy gives JL some like leggings that he has to get into and he's like, makes a joke about how he was forced into drag at one point because, how are we first? Let's not be a dramatic. I'm like, Daisy, truly the most dramatic person on this boat at all times.

So, Danny looks like she's gonna stay and Daisy's glad, you know, she's like, don't need to leave you job because your boyfriend's penis doesn't work right. All right. Here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app So then we see Cindy going around dress like a mermaid just pretending to be a mermaid going What is this? I'm just like some so plastic wrapper in her mouth and starts eating it. Yeah weirdo And then Erica just goes,

loves it. Okay, so Ali is bringing an outfit for Jean-Louis. And, you know, it's like tight women's mermaid costume pants things. And Natasha's cracking up probably way too hard. He's like, get out, There's no way that's happening. And the girls, meanwhile, are going upstairs to sit at the table and like, you guys, this is so good. And who's right now? And they love the mermaid, Teenies, which are basically like blue versions of pump Teenies.

Yeah. And let's see. There's a lot of love. blue versions of Pump Teenies. Yeah. And let's see. There's a lot of fun. A lot of fun. A lot of got to say. These were food is coming. I don't want to see these smell. Wow, I really enjoyed watching this, but.

I know I was having a great time. And I was like, oh my god, so write this down. There's Smoke Sam in with Avocado inside. I can't wait till Ron and I like make so many jokes about this. And now I'm like, so there was Smoke Sam with Avocado inside it. Right, Ronnie. So Erica's doing some kind of psychic thing for everybody. She's doing reading.

She's like, and the next year, lazy on baby in your future, I feel an energy block as Rothea. We are probably in your bags. Because I'm pretty. Stop sluts jamming my future. So then Allie is down there cleaning rooms and the room is just like absolutely disgusting. Everything everywhere and Allie is, you know, she's so mad. She's like, these women have so many belongings and they're everywhere. It's like an explosion. Which sucks because it really is like these are like just a group of wild animals on board.

So she stuckling all that up. And now it's time for those staff to come out and wacky costumes. So everybody's like, woohoo. Just tells Gary who's wearing like just the mermaid bottoms and a blue March Simpson type wig. She's like, you need something on your belly button, because you look like a drool.

You like to cuddle to not. You like to cuddle. So there's more food, more food, more food. And now it's time for dessert. So Glenn joins them. So there's more food, more food, more food, and now it's time for dessert. So Glenn joins them. And Natasha says that she could be doing the dessert table, which I had forgotten about momentarily. So I thought she was going to set up a table with various desserts. But then they go upstairs and I was like, oh, the dessert art that she allegedly stole from Alinea. So she starts doing this live dessert,

which honestly, I hated it the first time, and I actually hated it more the second time because I just, I want like a slice of something. I want like a bowl of something, but I don't want like a drizzle that I have to, on paper, that I have to stick a thing into. Yeah, they don't seem too impressed either. They're like, wow, Eric is like,

I love Bart, let's journey. And Jessica's, I feel like it's a Picasso. Not quite, but okay. So they're worried because she's doing, she's starting to like flick chocolate and berry sauce all over the white gouches. And Glent's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So, Jail basically slides across their dessert. It's like a slip-and-slide. And Glenn is like, oh, that better come off the cushions in the teak. Oh my goodness.

So I then some girl who I don't think, I don't know where she came from, was she just like airlifted onto this dinner. Where has she been this entire charter? She just comes running up and likes Jail's stomach because they're like, someone's gonna link an off Jail. So a random girl comes up and links it off and Eric they're so hot so Gary and Ali are talking again they're drunk dishes and girls like I would have a little cuddle tonight no you stop what's wrong with you stop

asking for little cuddles it's like gross at this point. She said no three different times Snuffle up. Yeah, and he goes maybe I should just stop asking. She's like yeah Right then Sydney passes and the music just stops. Of course, Sydney at this point Sydney's not even doing anything She just passes by and they're like, the downer Sydney stops the music. Stalker, a loser. But I love how Begary says, well, maybe I should just stop asking us if it's like a threat. It's like, what part of her saying no implies that you should keep asking? So she's like, well, tonight we need to have a talk about it. I'll just need to have the conversation. He's like, oh Jesus.

So then, um, they go out to talk and she's like, I'm never supposed to talk to you. He's like, I'm also name is a brother. I wish I could cuddle. No. All right. Now, I wish I could cuddle. No.

Now we just start out with this sucks because I really like you. I think it's difficult because none of us want to hurt any feelings because yeah, but there's another component I found out you and said, Matt seeks... Oh, fuck. You want to have a cuddle now? No. Oh, but I didn't see anyone when you heard that.

Didn't make you need a hug. Didn't need a hug, Matt. You get a sad about that. Probably need a cuddle, right, okay. Oh, but I didn't turn you on when you heard that. Didn't make you need a hug. Didn't need a hug, man. You get a sad about that. Probably need a hug, right? Look at, no, okay. Listen, I got nothing to say against that about that. I'm not gonna lie to you. I was just so fucked up, but I, I don't know, maybe,

maybe I need a cuddle, you wanna cuddle? We can cuddle, because I felt fucked up about, no. Oh, you got, oh, I know, understand. Now I know why she's upset. And I feel like I've disrespected her. And I feel like a massive asshole. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do. So how about this? We just stop flitting for like five days,

and then we start up again. How about that? Yeah, because she's saying, look, if we still like each other after Charter, we'll pick it up there. And he's not liking that. No, no. And he goes, he's like, oh, we'll pick it up there. And he's not liking that at all. And he goes, I'll be a gross feeling in my stomach.

You know, like butterflies, but like dying butterflies. That's it. That's it. That dying butterflies in a stomach. Oh, so with the ladies, Erica's like, I want to smell some of these armpits. Well, I'm hoot-fnull-re-line.

I didn't smell bad at all. The juxtaposition of that with what Gary was going through, because Gary's like, oh, I feel like a dick. Now, at the end of the day, I don't feel for her anyway. I feel for you, Allie, and I'm not gonna deny that. I feel terrible. Be of my favorite! That's what I mean. That transition from like a heart felt seeing to that.

I don't need a smelly thing in your armpits, time for a scratch on the snow at the front. Oh, man, I'm sorry I put you in that situation. It's not fair on you. And really, I think that we all agree that what you deserve right now is a little kind of. So why don't we remedy that? Because you deserve one right now.

Let's see what my dog. So then he is all upset and he leaves and passes Sydney. And she's like, what are you doing up still? He's like, having a little chat. Whoa. So he goes down to bed. And he's calling it's like, well, that doesn't look good. You look like you're crawling.

Condra reminds me of the romantic stuff. I never tell you about what was happening. I said, oh, I told you Alex. You know, she's, she's, I don't know. I actually said this. Basically, no little condolence tonight. So I just, I'm just gonna stay up here. If you hear any noise, it's, it's, it's a non-cut.

It's just an empty, empty bed with me. And then we see the girls go into their room, the gas and one of them is like, oh my god, they like folded our clothes. Like, how did they know which clothes were mine? And the other one goes, I don't know, these motherfuckers know everything. So, um, yeah. So then Ali is having a cigarette with Daisy to tell her what happened happen and then Danny and Jail are kissing and Gary is still mumbling up on his bed I'm such a push. I knew I was a push, but fucking hell fucking hell. I'm such a push What if it's like well if you really like it? Why can't you just wait till the end of the season? He's like well, I have to ignore or come to second. I'll get drunk. I want to go for there

But the thing is we find out later the end of the season is a week away, which is really not a big ask. And it's also like saying it five days, dude, keep it in your pants for five days. And don't do anything like just hook up with the only girls you haven't hooked up with yet. Yeah, literally. So now it's the next morning and jail gets it. He goes in the bathroom and he gets a text and the text is like, and Jail gets it, he goes in the bathroom and he gets a text and the text is like,

DING! Looks like it's just chafing and he's like, AHHHHH! So then he sends like an eggplant emoji and a thumbs up to Danny, being like, all systems are go. I, do you think that he really got all systems go? I think they were like, dude,

don't, don't do this to this poor girl. Like, don't do this to this girl on national TV. Okay. Just say you've got a chafedick. Walk it back. Yeah, maybe that's what. Like, well, we looked at your skin and your skin is yawning and complaining that doesn't have enough room to sleep.

So that's where. So, Glent calls Luca and he talks to him like this. enough room to sleep. So that's where. Um, so Glen calls Luca and he talks to him like this. He's not talking in Italian because like his version of Italian is probably like mine from Super Mario Brothers. So he's like, Hi, I'm Luigi Luca, repaint and get the summary of charges to me over right away. Ciao, ciao, bye. So then, um, so then like the now Ali is doing doing something in Gary walks by and she's like, well, you ignoring me, you're

pants are weird. And he's like, oh, I feel so, uh, he, well, he, first of all, by the way, it's funny that she would, she would say this to him and then be surprised that he would be in his feelings. Like, Ali, you did kind of break up with him a little bit. Like, even though you're in the right, you did kind of break up. So he tells us, well, I really show, I can't describe the feeling and sort of like jumping

off the boat with an anchor tied around my feet and not coming up again. I'm like, suicide all. Like, dude, this is just Ali. Like, relax. Yeah, it's like I just feel so terrible this is just Ali, like relax. Yeah, it's like I just feel so terrible that I've just like you didn't feel terrible that you fucked Sydney and then try to fuck her. You just feel terrible that you got caught. Didn't get control for it.

And honestly, he really had an easy way out. He could have just said, well, you know, I didn't say anything because I wanted to honor Sydney and I don't want to feel embarrassed. So I was just really trying to be nice. Like, that's all he probably had to say. That's true. And Ali could be like, oh, what a gentleman. Oh, God.

So now, Daisy tasks Sidney with writing a song for the Women Empowerment Demo. Twist, we've been on Ali's day. Ali goes, I've only heard a sing once and then we cut to her singing happy birthday and she's one of those people who's like, happy birthday to you. It's like shut up. Okay. This is a singing happy birthday like that. I don't care if you're a wreath of Franklin.

You sing it like everybody else. Happy birthday to like slightly off key and board. Yeah, okay. That's the only way to sing it. Happy birthday to women's environment. We've got the yacht every day. Girls, can you believe it? Yeah, Daisy's like, oh well, you know, she has a love level. She has a love level. She's a lovely, she's like a little any other one. So the anchors are now going up and breakfast is being served.

And what I write down this, Glenn, morning ladies, like why would I write down that? What was that? Because it's like did you have a good night last night? And she's like I was so wasted last night and I had a look at the pictures on my phone to see what I even did. It's like well, so wasted last night and I had a look at the pictures on my phone to see what I even did. Well that sounded like a good morning. I hope the table's nice and clear. Oh,

just table wobbling, it's not I'm a good captain, tell your friends. Hi, hey, Sydney, I was wondering if you'd like to write a song and sing it for a women's empowerment party. I tried to import Samantha Bamba, but she was too busy and Dublin to come sing with us tonight. What you can't do it? I could play the guitar and here we go. I guess you'll have to be like a fella because there's barely no one here can play an instrument. The curse of below dexaligat, there always has to be a scene that sings a bullshit. A singer songwriter moment. always has to be a see that sings a bullshit. A singer songwriter moment. Yeah.

We've gotten so far this season without having to sing a songwriter moment, but now it's back. Yeah. So we go to the ladies eating breakfast and we're supposed to hate Bianca. I mean, we already do. I'm sure everybody probably universally hates her right now, but the way they do it is so funny. Erica's like, did anybody want Bitcoin?

She's like, I don't eat breakfast. Don't, don't, don't, don't. The alka's all bitch. Bitch is don't eat breakfast. Because I'm still half asleep. And then Erica's like, Erica, the lawyer is now like, now Bianca is in Erica court because Erica's trying to bust her on something.

It doesn't make sense. So she's like, I'm still half asleep. Well, you went to sleep early last night. Well, no, but the entire trip I haven't really slapped. So like today it was like the first day, but you slept late today. Like, I'm gonna go change. It's like, ooh, they're a matter of not eating breakfast and this is what happened. I'm being slightly dishonest about her sleep schedule for the past 24 hours. So, um, Glenn leaves because the girls are cackling. Oh, they're writing the song still in the other scene.

And they're like, yeah, women in power, it's a power, power, power. Yeah. And they just start screaming pussy power and giggling. And he's like, ladies, could you leave the decibels a little bit lower with the pussy power? Mm. So then, um, uh, they're, uh, then Daisy asks, she's like, Erica, why don't you like to have lunch today?

And Erica's like, um, I'm thinking like three because like dinner? Yeah, what was that? What was that mean? You know, like, it was like dinner. You know, people I've been right. And Cindy's like, can the rest of us give massages and buy the rest of us?

I mean, me, I'll take a shower and we're ready. And so we get some sale drama. The sales are going up. Drawers are a majestic music. Yeah, a drawer opens up and someone, Erica, I think, falls out of her own chair somehow. And it's very, like you said, majestic music. The music is very, very intense for basically a drawer opening up. It's like a drawer. So Daisy goes to Ali and she's like, how do you feel about giving them a massage to the crazy mermaid old lady? She's like, well, I did massage a whole new ambitious girl, a sucker, a sock and wing hat. You know, I'm y'all, yeah, put up with some shit. I don't really like giving resages, but at least Cindy's gonna be happy. And then we see a clip of Cindy just being

like, yeah, and then I was a mom. And I've never mamed, mom, mamed is I mamed that time I mamed. Venturelequist. And so I taught, I taught Erica how to be a ventriloquist, which is why she has two different voices, but you know, at this point, it's just muscle memory. So I took away that dummy a long time ago because she tried to use it on the bachelor. I said, no, honey, your own national TV. Okay. So that's why she had her hand up in the air for so much time. She just thought there was a little puppet on there.

Oh, goodness, motherhood. Am I right? much time she just thought there was a little puppet on there. Oh goodness motherhood in my rat. So Ali is talking to Daisy and she's like, well it's probably going to be the fastest out of my life because she'll just chat the whole time. And Erica has just come up to stairs and she's like, um, I heard you guys talking. So I got a guy with just joking around. So she goes down thinking it's no big deal, but then Erica goes outside. She's like, girls, I just heard all you talking shit about my mom. And Jess is like, you know what, even what? Like that's not right because you know if my mom's being over the top, like I don't want

anyone to badmouth my mother. Okay, badmouth Bianca, all you want. I mean, she's a stupid slut giant melons on her that like that bigger than Just just just just let shame and can we all just let you in Bianca again. I'd really like to do that So Erica's like yeah, well, I feel like Bianca's trying to copy me, but like I don't care one more day Yeah, that's Eric with Bianca doing now. I was she trying to copy me, but like, I don't care. One more day. Yeah. That's Eric with Bianca doing now.

I was actually trying to copy you. And Erica, like, Erica and Bianca were gonna be allies. Last episode Bianca went up to Erica was like, the girls are being mean to me. She's like, he'll just down with me. And now they're like, why don't you have her own personal and why don't you have to steal Erica's personal. Yeah.

Yeah. So they're setting up the beach picnic and Sydney's working on the lyrics. She's working on the lyrics. She's using the empowerment. And she goes, well, you know what, I grew up singing. I'm actually classically trained. And we see a photo of her address like she's in the best little warehouse of Texas or something. Like a little microphone.

Like by her mouth. I was like, wait. Sydney has a musical theater background. This does not make any sense with her, anything that she's done. It was probably just on her family's boat, like how much schooled. And she goes, and she says her last row was Audrey and Little Shop of Horrors,

which, you know, she's probably like one of those new Audrey's, it just like plays it straight. It's like somewhere that's green It's that it's talking like that. Hey Mr. Munch Mc Well, she probably takes it like a very serious dramatic role I know it also explains why she's drawn to Garrett because he does have certain Audrey to qualities to his voice But um, she's I just I'm like I like the idea of like just hearing. So when you hear Sydney's voice, it just doesn't sound like a voice I could ever sing. And then imagining her singing her part in, in suddenly see more, I was like actually offended.

I was upset that she could ever be cast as Audrey. You were mad at that family pontoon production. I was mad. I was mad at the lake shamp thing in 2015 production of Little Chapel horrors on a pontoon for the for the upstate New York region Theater, so then we just get we just get a random shot of a girl being mean to Bianca I love the bio on a Bianca. I think it's so funny I mean Bianca was a total asshole,

but they just keep going on now. So Bianca walks by someone and someone goes, I don't think Bianca's Jail's type. Look damn. Because they keep jokes opposing the fact that Sydney is writing a woman in a powerman song and then watching these women just cut each other down, nonstop. So now the ladies are ready to go to the beach

and now, and Erica finds Glenn, or Glenn comes up to Erica and she's like, yeah, so like I heard, how are you talking shit about my mother? And now she's like, and there I'm assulching her. I can't do the voice. I can't do the voice.

You can't do it. You're doing it. That's how she does it. Errrr. Errr. She's saying, being really mean to my mom, I don't want to tell my mom. Who am I going to do me? It's about the kind of like, but it's just kind of weird.

And he's like, yeah, you know what? We need to be much more discreet than that. I'm going to talk to her.. I'm gonna talk to her. I'm gonna talk to her. Don't worry. Yeah, I'm gonna really pretend I'm just my mom, but everybody else is really powerful but then engaging.

Maybe Ollie's having like personal struggles. So then Erica then tells Daisy, and she's like, well, I was just feeling glad that I was like kind of a sad that like, I walked in on a conversation. And my mom just like glad that I was like kind of a Santa like I walked you know a conversation And my mom just like really loves her and like Ellie's been a very person And Daisy's like No, listen Ali. I love her. Ali. Ali adores your mother. Ali is like she's the best person

I've ever had on a boat. I want her to be my mother. That's what I want out of that of Cindy Cindy That's the irony that's the irony of it. It's the irony She loves saying that everything's irony and so Eric is like thank you girl So then Tacey's like oh my god. This is so embarrassing so she goes to Allie and tells her and Allie doesn't really care Because she didn't say anything bad. She just said she's gonna talk the whole time like, oh my god, this is so embarrassing. So she goes to Allian tells her and Alli doesn't really care because she didn't say anything bad. She just said she's going to talk the whole time. Yeah, you really wasn't that. So yeah, so

Daisy's like, it was just bad timing and all which is the army. It's the army on it. So, um, so then the guests are now going to the beach. I thought something was going to happen because when they, when I was first mentioned that the guest want to go to the beach, it thought something was gonna happen because when I was first mentioned that the guests wanna go to the beach, it said 145. And now the guests are ready to go to the beach. It said 205. I was like, uh oh, the timings didn't get wrong,

but they just go to the beach. And so there's no issue with the timing. So they get there and it's like rocky and it's steep and air because like, well, I didn't know we were going on a hike. I should have brought my hiking boots. Doing this in wadgets. Oh, no.

Jett. Uh, eh. And the girls are off taking selfies and some of them are sitting at the table. And so Bianca comes back to the table and just sits down. And Erica's like, um, but Jess, better purse there. Like she wants to sit by me. And she's like, um, no. I mean, this is what I just sat here. And just like Bianca, you got to move.

But I mean, I have to like move stuff to get this cherish. Like, that was my stuff that you moved. Yeah, she's like, sorry, like, is my seat no longer in existence? Okay, well, my stuff, you know, my stuff was there. You moved because we were taking pictures, okay? I turned off that mobular. You know what, for one time, I just don't want to be at the end, Okay, well my stuff you know my stuff was there you had moved cuz we're taking pictures, okay You know what for one time I just don't want to be at the end, okay? God so then back at singing singing practice it means like one the lawyer what okay you start playing is like

It doesn't fit in there. It doesn't fit. What do we do? Suddenly empowerment is standing beside you. Is that work? Is that work? Don't need no taught us taught us for true. Suddenly ladies are there to provide you with sweet empowerment ladies are ladies So they're wine pouring at the beach picnic and everyone's order girls a bros a bros a I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say I'm gonna say And cares like we as a rosé But no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no And there's like, where's the Roseae? And there was only one bottle of rose. So now they're like, they're like,

days of, days of, days of, we have a bottle of Roseae, days of, days of, days of, actually it was Dan, he was like, daysy, daisy, daisy, do we have bottle of Roseae? And there's no more Roseae. And the, well first, no one even answers, because everyone's busy and not paying attention And Glenn's sort of like listening like what's going on?

But then Daisy responds and says there's no more rosé. It's coming this evening, but guess what I found some rosé Danny Danny Daisy, Danny Danny, Daisy, Daisy. I found some rosé Well, it's like no, no, you shouldn't say I found more because it sounds like we were out of rosé. You know, you gotta say the rosé is on its way because then that way it sounds like we always had the rosé. Okay. The rosé is on its way, which is good because I just found it. No, no, no, just say the rosé is on the way.

We found some rosé and it's on the way to your right now. The rosé we thought we didn't have is on the boat to you. Surprise rosé is arriving. So he's getting really mad Max. I'm starting to lose my patience. Come on guys. Get your shit together. This was kind of like a false cliffhanger. I think they just were like, we need to end the episode now. So let's make it seem like this is a really high stakes moment, but it's like, it's fine.

They're just like packing food and rosé that they actually do have. I'm surprised they didn't actually end it with, where's the rosé, but the cliffhanger is, will this lunch that's going relatively smoothly continue to go relatively smoothly we'll find out. Yeah and now the new cliffhanger is oh my god we're missing something and Natasha can't get the food out on time so plans getting really mad. He's like we gotta go we gotta go. You know it's a fork, right? It's just like a fork.

I think you're... I got that on! It's like, we're missing something, we're missing something. I watched him call it. So, here we are. I watched him call it. Oh, I thought it was gonna be a little mermaid song.

I was, I was, that's what literally I was hoping. I was hoping you were gonna do a lyric, and then I realized in the void of silence that Maybe we should just end the episode. No, sorry. I was I was basically on the pontoon family dinner theater But just watching just waiting to hear this And like I'd like the pontoon and like those people who paid $5 to see To go to pontoon play house Everyone was left kind of unsatisfied and wondering why they spent their night doing that. Why don't we see a musical on a pontoon up on

Lake Champlain? These people don't even live in New York. They live in New Florida. All right everybody. Well that is it for below dick mid. We will be back tomorrow with some real housewives Okay, yeah some Roni should oh yeah Roni. Oh my goodness. I can't okay. I'm excited You guys thank you so much. We you runny already said it. There's nothing for me to add so thanks for listening and we'll talk to you on the next one Bye Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelownies.

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