Watch What Crappens - BelowDeckSailing: Yachting Is In Tents

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

This week on Below Deck Sailing Yacht there's no wind until all of a sudden there's ALL THE WIND. In between, there's a misbehaving tent and a drunken guest.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, the one and only Ronnie Caram. Hey Ronnie, how are you? Well hello, Bim.

How are you doing today? Good. Great. Glad to be here. Glad to be alive. Okay. Glad to be on a boat that might too. I'm still there.

Yes, we're talking below deck sailing today. Before we do that, just a reminder, go to watchacrapans.com to get tickets to the shows. We are on the final leg of our tour. We got Denver next week. We got Detroit Columbus in Cleveland about a week after that. And then we're going to end things Austin, Houston, and Dallas in April. And then that's it. The tour is over. So already so many wonderful crazy things have happened on this tour. So do not miss out. Go to watch crappens.com to get to get your

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And today we're gonna talk about a very serious episode of below Dexailing, where there was not a lot of wind until all of the sun, there was all the wind in the world. Whoa. Wind. Yes, this is a rough one because you follow up Erica and Chuck, who I don't think I've been that enraged about Below Deck guests before. I think we're bad. They were pretty bad.

And then today, it's like, just normal You know, like a ton all the time. You know, it was a ton of clickioe episode. Yep, yeah, yeah. And then about, but I will say I've spent the past week googling Chuck Sanders because I just want to see you know all the I just want to see what people are saying about him and like with the degree of public shame that he's receiving and It's been good that I feel like as a society we could do better. I feel like we could shame him better So I just want to put that out there into the universe. You can't shame the shameless. That's true I'm you know everyone's calling me dick. He's like well, I'm a dick. Well, sir. Daisy's not hot like my wife

Yeah, there's been some there's been some great stuff. But anyway, today we're here to talk about this episode, which starts with Gary and Daisy making out in the hot tub because that was the big cliffhanger, like what's gonna happen? What is the future of this crew if Daisy and Gary are making out? It's basically cutting between Gary and Daisy making out awkwardly and Ashley and Tom fucking awkwardly in the master cabin, which we can only hear if they just keep showing the door. And they fucking kinda like you think,

Ashley does her fake, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, which of course she does. And then Tom slapping her butt. Yeah, you just hear smacks. And she's like harder. So then Daisy and Gary are still just like, they are making out like a lot.

Like I thought it was gonna be that, you know, they make it a little bit. And then when we come back this episode did stop, but they are like really making out. And of course, Colin comes like walking right up the hot tub just to look at them. He's just like, what the hell is going on around here? It reminds me of this one time I had this crazy party in my boot down in Central America.

Wow, is it even interrupted by make-outs? Even sound effects interrupt me. Wow. And Gabby comes out, she's like, they're like straddling each other. They're just standing there watching them drinking a beer. And Collins like, well, they're either going to improve their relationship or the rest of this season is going to shit. Can't wait to ask him about it tomorrow! And he walks off, but then he keeps turning around to watch more.

And he walks off, but then he keeps turning around to watch more. He's like, I either watch this or I wash the transom. I know which one I'm choosing. And I just like to point out that everyone only thinks this is fun because Colin Tite. Yeah. If this was like, anybody else would be like, ew! This is, that's a very good point. That's a very good point. But it is hot, so watch on. Yes, hot people are allowed to watch other people make out. It has been declared. So, where areism is not stocking when you're that hot?

You got to wave us so much more when you're hot. And one of those things you can do is just spy on people apparently. I mean, look, if it listen, if Jason born, if Matt Damon during peak Jason born times was not hot, we'd be like, look at this terrible age and can't even remember his job. Get out of here. Yeah, you deserve to die. But we're like, oh, he's hot. I hope he figures it out. Oh, so then let's see. So Daisy, Jason foreign. Yeah, I'm not sure we held theory, right? I was never really on the mat Damon, like hotness train.

I mean, I was on the mat Damon, wow, like he wrote, how about Dem Apple's train? But I was never like, oh yeah, mat Damon's hot. So I just got lost. Yeah, I mean, I feel like in the arts, late 90s, the arts, I think mat Damon, I think I, I support the, you know, the mat Damon is hot. So I just got lost. Yeah, I mean, I feel like in the arts, late 90s, the arts, I think Matt Damon, I think I, I supported the, you know, the Matt Damon is hot train, but you know, that's fine. Not not the hottest. I'm not saying he's top tier, but you know, I think he's, he's, he could, he could be a lawyer during those times. Mm-hmm. I knew it would be okay. So then, well, let me put it this way.

If Matt Damon was not Matt Damon in current times, he could not get away with his shit, okay? Yeah, I am upset with current times, Matt Damon. He's sort of ruined, retroactively ruined his hotness in the yachts, you know? It's a shame. So then Daisy suddenly like jumps off Gary and she's like, I'm going to be and runs off.

Yeah, she just runs off and he goes, okay goodnight, he's asleep tight. Moomin, Moomin, Moomin, Moomin. And he goes, how did the fuck did that happen? Jesus, Moomin, cop IDM, motherfucker. Yeah, Moomin, Moomin. Yeah, so he keeps doing the like, I'm branding my thing myself

because I can't believe I did something. So then Ashley runs out of her room when she's done. She runs out of the room and runs back to her room when she's done too. And then Gavvy's in bed already and Ashley walks in. And she says, did you have sex with Tom? She says, I did. Tom isn't so bad. I wrote him off in the beginning, but I gotta to say he doesn't act like a 23 year old

and bad. I love mature mom. Hey, look, he's coming in number two, but so did the quarter pounder with cheese. My ride, everybody. And you know, I did have an experience with the quarter pounder with cheese this weekend that really does actually parallel this situation with Tom, which is that I ordered a big Mac and I got a quarter pound of cheese instead from delivery. And I was like, well, I guess I'll have to eat it.

And I was like, this was delicious. This was not a bad choice. I remember you telling me in the end, you're like, hey, I mean, at the end of the day, at least that quarter pound effect me, right? I was like, wow, Ben. I was like, that quarter pounder did not behave like a 23 year old. I was very impressed. And Gabriella's like, well, I mean, he's a better choice than Gary at least.

Yeah. And then we see Gary, Gary comes into his bunk and Collins lying there and Gary goes, Hey, you want to hear something fucked up? I just days you tonight. And Collins goes, I saw it. Fuck. You don't think he knows that his comforter is a tent. Okay.

Collin knows. It's comforter is a tent. I just, it took me a moment. It's like, you know what the flashlight like. Oh, he's so curious. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Either dinosaurs are evading the kingdom or Gary's having a good laugh at bad guys Someone let some velociraptors into that bedroom. So now it's the morning and they're all waking up and they's like Oh Fuck my head and

Marcos's hair starting to grow back according to Colin and then Colin of course is like In full yonta mode. He's like, so daisy. How is your night? And she's like, oh, I was pretty wise, dad. I guess, yeah, you were playing tonsil hockey with Gary. And she's like, oh, fuck off. You're such a lawyer. You don't remember daisy?

She's like, I don't remember. Everybody was there. Yeah, you just shot up. So daisy is pulling one of those. Oh, oh I was just so drunk I don't remember. Yeah, she's, oh it was just man him! That's a lawyer! I know your stern, shit up! I know your calling! Call it, that's your name right? I actually never knew your name after all these years. At the time you were making out in the jacuzzi, it starts with making out, it ends with calling under intent making out with abandon his arm All right, it happened. I've got the hikki on the bottom of me elbow to prove it

so Then Tom is talking to Gary saying the Tom tells Gary that he's not going to the master bedroom with Ashley and he goes So you got lucky that's not and Tom's like, yeah, hope you're not annoyed. He's like, man, I ended up kissing Daisy and the jikini's here. It was pretty passionate. Remember, remember, remember, remember, remember. We were crawling red and hot tub all right. And Tom just goes,

Gavin Daisy, Gaze, he's like, oh, you're not funny. I'm a little that funny. And then I just got to Glenn biting more of that matza bread. I mean, I'm not sure if it's matza, but it's definitely. Yeah, it's like matza. Yeah, it's a huge matza cracker.

It presents like matza. So then now cleaning and Tom tells Ashley that Gary and Daisy had a smooch and then Gary walks into the like crew mess and Collins there with Daisy and so he walks in and they pull a little new jersey where Collins goes oh there she is there he is there he is there he is What are you talking about I don't remember a pen. Oh yeah, we're right, Daisy, come on. And Gary's like, we mad at Nijikuzie. We didn't stop that.

It was quite bad for sure if I'm being honest. And Colin's like, oh, I fucking told you. Who said that? I was at a cabinet that just spoke. Who's here? Who's here other than Gary? So in case, Kelsey and Tom are hosting to have the deck and Kelsey's like,

so how was your night? He's like, good. Abanged. Gosh, Kelsey goes, oh my God, how do I miss all these fun times? Not that I wanted to join, you know? And Tom tells her that Gary is teasing the hot tub and Kelsey goes, geez, did I kiss anyone? No, I think I just floss with my hair all night.

So then Daisy Gary Marcos are doing the preference sheet meeting with the captain. And he's like, okay, James Quacks from Jersey, lucky luxury real estate broker man, had an area on eating in the best restaurants in the world. So he's excited Lucy, lucky luxury real estate broker and have an area. Eaton and the best restaurants in the world. So he's excited to see what you can do. Yeah, so he's bringing his sister, Kimber, and her best friend forever, Bunny, and then his little brother Tyler,

and also the dad, Jane Seniors coming to and some other kid, and they wanna have a 0017 party, and they want to play badminton on day two so it's gonna be fun. Yeah, this guy sounds like a real dick, okay? So I had hope because James Cox Jr. from New Jersey luxury real estate broker in the Manhattan area. That's Jersey, okay? Are you trying to like put Manhattan in your Jersey resume and then eaten in the best restaurants in the world? Wow, fuck off. Little big town in Hoboken. Who puts, yeah, who puts that? It's like the Manzo Brothers meatball restaurant.

Okay, who puts that? The brownstone does not count sir. So Marcos is gonna make a big Spanish feast for them. He really I think wants to after last charter He really wants to knock the socks off, after the last charter, he really wants to knock the socks off of people. So now it's time for more cleaning and calling the provisional. And once again, Gabriela is walking through and Ashley has fucked up hospital corners again. And basically Ashley keeps putting hospital corners facing the door. And Gabriella is like, we can't have them not facing the door in one room, facing the door in another room.

I'm just like, I just have never seen hospital corners facing a door before. I just feel like it's crazy. I've just never seen someone do hospital corners like this. I just is actually doing it on purpose at this point. Like I can give it a fuck. You hospital corner because. Cool. I mean, I feel like on some level, I should appreciate a pass of aggressive hospital corner.

Like that's actually the kind of petty pass of aggression that I really love. But it also like the inability to do it right really bothers me. So then Tom gets a call from his friend whose dad is on life support. So that's Tom's, that really upsets Tom and like he's kind of upset the whole episode. And it's a below deck staple, right? Somebody gets a call that somebody on land is sick and then they cry for like three episodes. I'm not saying he's faking his dad, being sick

or anything like that. It's just odd that it's such a staple on below deck. They're like, okay, someone's got a fuck, we got that one down. Someone needs to have a family member who's definitely ill in a hospital right now. Can it be my friend's dad? All right, that's all we got.

Let's go for it. Yeah, they're like, well, I guess that's the best we're gonna have. I mean, I agree. Whenever the music goes away and someone enters a phone, you know someone's ill, and then usually it's a grandparent, but in this case, it was a friend's father. And then, like you said, it kind of always goes the same arc,

which is like some sad moments. Usually a shot of eating cereal alone, and then it culminates with a person saying, I want to be there, but they need me here on this boat. And that yours is the button. Yeah, that's it. So, um, next really moved it now, it's bedtime. Everybody cleans and stuff. And then Tom and Ash kiss goodnight because they're like a couple that they have all the suns they even sat outside and sucked on suckers together. Yeah and Daisy is in her bunk with Kelsey and she's like I'm mortified. That's I'm mortified. That's me and Gary.

I kissed. I'm so embarrassed and Kelsey goes maybe it didn't happen. And she goes no I think I did. I'm pretty sure I did. I have bite marks. The shape of gerbil teeth all over my neck. So Kelsey such a whack at you. Maybe it didn't happen. She is very strange. Maybe it's all just a big lie, Daisy.

Yeah. So then in the morning everybody's getting up. And Tom tells the captain about his friend's dad. And he's like, but don't worry, I need to be here captain. I need to have a good chore to smash it out. We have no pun intended on that one. Damn it. I'm mixing too many things in this one thing. Can we just move on? Yeah. And so then Ashley walks by Gabriella and she's and Gabriella is like, Hey, babe, did you see the other side of the list, babe? Do you have to see the member have wrote you a list, babe?

And has two sides actually and if you see the other side of it or even the first side, you want to do my list, babe? Babe, babe, babe. And Daisy goes, well, I'm going to crack on with long drake. It's everything on those lists, don't. So I thought was very important to state the Daisy said, get everything on the list done, okay? So then sales are going up and, oh yeah, then Gabby's, like, did you see the list and ask she's all mad

about the list. Yeah, she's like, yeah, because she's like, why do I have to do everything? She's like, this is the list. I'm like, I have no problem respecting you. It's just the way you like, well, she I'm sorry she goes up to Daisy and she says she's like, all these lists, like I have no problem respecting you Daisy but because like the way you lead is the way I want to be led, you know, as someone I just like being led by someone

who's a little bit older in the 28 to 33 year old demographic. But also Daisy is the one who said to do the lists. So shut up. And Daisy's like, so is it the way she's telling you? But listen, we've all got to find a way to do things. And when you're second in command, you can do things how you wish. Because rank does matter.

Wow, isn't that a shock? Actually, it's not rank, actually, it's like rank's not a thing anymore. But it is. Yeah, Daisy's not wrink, actually, it's like wrink, it's not a thing anymore. But it is. Yeah, it is. What it is. Daisy's like very clever, she's like, well, we're old enough to follow orders, we're not happy with earned, we're earned, we're earned, we're earned, and yeah, basically she's like, you know, like, you know, you know, when you have a 12 year old kid and they think

that they're 18, and they want to wear a short dress and they want to be all slutty and wear heels, I feel they're fast full of paint and go out to the nightclub. You know that feeling but you're like, no, you're only 12 or something. No, but I don't bother. And I say, mother, I'm old enough to drink a pint of beer. I'm old enough to go to the club. It's like that. Yeah.

So then provisions and then a meeting, line up me, or not meeting, but line up time to meet the guests. And the guests are coming and it's just like a blob of whiteness. It's like the marshmallow man from Ghost of Busters just slowly walking at you. I really was getting more of a Veggie Tales vibe or like the bananas.

Or you know like them. One of those bananas that were pajamas, who was like, if those, if those bananas that were pajamas decided, like, let's go on a yacht, let's get out of these pajamas and go on a yacht, I feel like it's like these people. Yeah. Do you know the branches way the bananas will pajamas? No, I'm gonna school goal. And I was like, no, you're not going to do that. I stopped myself. Because it's got my Googles going to look crazy if I ever get a ret. Like before I was googling banana cat chef. And then I go to bananas and pajamas. So there was a lot. There was a lot of banana Googles in one day. There was a TV show called and pyjamas actually, but it's not spelled pyjamas normally. It's like PY jamas This world

But by the way looking at this image of bananas and pyjamas I really stand by my my assertion Come on, Shows! Here comes one right now! Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What deserves session with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lover's quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon

music or wonder ya. So then they're standing there while the guests are slowly walking towards them like probably about to request, I don't know like brick house or something from the DJ. They're walking up and Gaffey is like Kelsey Kelsey, are you flossing? And she's like, mm, no. I'm like, do you floss your teeth with your hair? And Daisy goes, no, you're dead. Kelsey, that's so nasty. I say this as someone who just met us with Gary King.

And then, John just smells Colin. He goes, he smells a good colon. Oh, yes, smells a good colon Oh, yes, well, you know this this center is actually one I found on one of my travels I was well gone on board these guests hi everybody and Bunny we find out later is the cougar so she's saying oh my god He's so cute. He's so cute. They're all so cute. Hi, bunny. I'm Cougar. She actually did not really read very Cougarish to me. I was like, maybe she just had good makeup on or something. I was like, girl, you're selling yourself a little short there. You might.

Yeah, they're trying to sell her as this Cougar type, but it's not really working. Yeah, I feel like she just seemed like a normal, like, just like a lady. So then they're all on board and it's like really hot out and Marcos is cooking and Marcos is like, Gabrielle is like in the Galleys and he's like, so you're working nights? She's like, yeah, I'm working nights because yeah, I'm working days and nights. Well, thanks, Marcos. I love that the chefs always love pulling that shit. So then the guests are sitting by the steering wheel

or whatever, the captain's wheel and Collins are with the captain. And the main guy's like, so I gotta ask you guys a question. All right, what's your favorite animal? Well, I don't know, you know, beavers are fine. Caps, caps is, that's an old standby, but no, you're supposed to say a cougar. Do you like cougars, guys?

Do you like cougars? Collin's just so excited that someone actually asked him a question, and then he asked, then he liked the sadness on his face as he realizes that James is actually not interested in knowing what his favorite animal is. He just wants to do a joke about cougars. He's like, oh, yeah, I don't mind Cougars. He goes, well, and he's like, James stop there. Oh my god. Stop it, James.

And James is like, the Cougars run fast and they're old. Fuck James. Hey, James, I hate James a not a fun way. He's just an or he's like someone I'd be like, you know what I haven't smoked in two hours, will you take that table? Thanks. You know what, I feel like almost, you know, Ronnie, you often mentioned that movie Multiplacity. I feel like this entire charter, it looked like someone had done Multiplacity on James Woods. They all were sort of like sort of vaguely James Woodsie in terms of, you know, visuals under the personality. Yeah, like he's the top of that ancestry tree or whatever.

So, um, anchor time, so that goes fine. And then Gabby and Ashley are talking and Gabby's like, so did you do the laundry? She's, um, flip the laundry. And then she walks off and Gabby allows just like Jesus Christ. And Daisy's like, oh, Marcus, I thought I made it obvious at the same minute that they were responsible at time.

And then we see a flashback of her being like, act like a tame. Yeah. I'm, um, he says they're Eagles. What does he say? Oh, they're Eagles. They're just steering little Olivia in my head. Yeah, I'm he says their Eagles but it's a good Oh, there's Egos I'm just hearing little Olivia in my head I'm an eagle, I'm an eagle

From real housewives of me in Jersey They're egos, so Daisy's like I mean they're good at their fucking shows, but they gotta stop with this I'm gonna sit down after the charter and talk to him He's like after the charter, yes after the charger Oh talk to him. He's like, after the charter, yes, after the charter. Oh, so that's gonna be three days and three nights from now, which during which I'll be working both those time periods. Got it. And cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning.

And Marcos gets bit by the lobster. Marcos is not gonna make it out of the season. He's not. Marcos is gonna be on crutches. He's gonna have a bandage of the season. He's not. Marcus is going to be on crutches. He's going to have a bandage around his head. He's going to be missing an eye. I mean, I'm not even convinced that that lobster ever like, oh, that's a little pincher. Like we're just going to see that lobster dangling from his hand for the rest of the season.

So, um, so then, uh, he's like, Marcus is spends, by the way, literally the rest of the episode being like, I'm going to make a Spanish feast. I'm making a Spanish feast. I got to do this. I got to wake up early because I'm making a Spanish feast. Oh man, I got to brush my teeth right now because I won't have time to brush them tomorrow because I'm making a Spanish feast.

So he's like in a Spanish feast mode. He didn't know he's not even a Spanish feast tonight. He just keeps talking about it. Yeah. For some reason, today he's learning or he's really into layering the flavors. Um, he's like making stews, you know, things that take a long time to come together. I'm like, well, that's good because this isn't chopped. Like it's top shop. Like that's how it should be done, right?

Yeah, but I love him. So I don't really care. Yeah. So then Daisy, Colin, Gary and Kelsey are talking in the mess and Gary's like D&D and D&D and Daisy and Kelsey's like yeah, you're looking at him like you're gonna make out with them again Daisy's like fuck off Kelsey. You're in bad blossom with your hair. You don't even know You're in bad floss with your hair, you don't even know. So Gary's like, yeah, I was practically drowning and you picked me up on the make. You just started making an ant with me. She's like, yeah, shut up!

So then, um, they're just, uh, Tom is still feeling bad about first friend and stuff and Ashley tells us, you know, you just really need to support if when something like this happens because it's going to make your job harder than it already is. Wow, congratulations. You've learned sympathy. What, thanks for explaining sympathy to us. Right. So then Daisy is going to have the guys serve a dessert. Topless, top born in. Yeah, it's like the once per season, uh, short list, uh, short list dessert presentation that happened. Already happened on this season.

Has it only happened on episode four? Okay, guys. So stop recycling your own show, which is already a recycling of other shows. So, Collins, like, well, we had a Skype. I mean, you want me to show me, you want me to show you my body and then you can judge, okay? Because it's gonna be hard, it's gonna be hard now if you see my body. Just say the word and I'll show you my body. So anyway, we're gonna do silver and black today. Every episode's gonna be something shiny to go with that. What have her theme they give me

So the guests are getting ready and everything and bunny's like oh my god I love this decor maybe it's just the cougar in me who likes it, but it's fantastic so they all sit down for dinner and Glenn joins them and The dinner looks delicious. It is delicious, they all love it. No one's an asshole like last week. It's a huge success. Well, except that Tyler, the brother is wasting it.

So he's just fall down drunk the whole time and just keeps drinking. And they're like, do you want a glass of water, Tyler? He's like, I don't want a friend. He is fully passed out. Cause this is such a wasp family too. And this is clearly like, they are like in full, like drunk and wasp mode right now. And he's like, and Glenn is like,

I mean, is this guy even breathing? I mean, it's so weird. What is this weekend at parables? So Gary and Daisy are flirting and she's like, where's your pay? I'm not here for that Gary He's like, I'm always I'm always noise not no Lee just cuz you can make out with me Don't mean you can so boss me around now and she's like He doesn't mean you can still bolster me around now. And she's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, Oh my, yeah, Cougar laugh. Oh my God, this is hilarious. And Benny really going with that Cougar theme is wearing a statement necklace in the theme of Verico's veins. I'm not really sure what this necklace was. Yeah. But it was just like veins. It was the weirdest necklace. So then, yeah, cake delivery at Tom's doing pushups, you know, so he can

serve. They're all taking pictures with Bunny the Cougar. Yeah, and then Daisy's like, oh, she has froth and all over ya. And Colin tells us, you know, when you talk to Gary and Daisy individually, they'll tell you that they hate the other person. But when they're together, there's a connection between them that they can't resist. The camera just cuts, it just goes to black. See, no one else want to hear my thoughts about this relationship, no? So Tyler's wasted and they're like, wait, we can't just leave Tyler here. I mean, I'm a cougar, but I'm still a responsible cougar.

Boys. So they, uh, Gabby gets the boys to carry Tyler down. Yeah, and they're just like they have the he's I mean he's out out cold and they're like walking him down and calling like hi buddy. Do you want to go to the bathroom before you go to sleep? And he's like, didn't I just go? I'm like someone better better bring some towels up to that bench. Yeah, technically the bench again. It's going to be the season of state.

That actually happened on my flight back from Denver this weekend. There was a guy who came on like a big guy and he's like, oh, and you could just smell the booze on him. Wow. And he went to sleep and massively went to sleep where he sleeps with his head on the TV screen that's on the scene. Oh, no. Wow. His arms were just hanging down. And when it was time to put any snoring and you could just smell this booze, right? So then the flight ends and the or we're starting to go down and so the flight attendant comes over and starts kind of shaking him and he won't wake up. He's just like

down and so the flight attendant comes over and starts kind of shaking him and he won't wake up. He's just like, and they're trying to move him and then he just stops snoring. And then another flight attendant comes over and they're taking his pulse and stuff and I was like, oh my God, please don't die right next to me. Die up there. Like sit over there. And so then to get out, you have to like move him and they were like gently, gently trying to get him up. So then the lady next to me was a mom who had a flight so she got up and left. And then he like immediately put his head back on the screen and went back to sleep. And so it was my turn to have to move him and everybody's, you know, kind of looking at me and like, now it's your turn. And I just went, get up!

Like that right into his face, and he jumps. He jumped out of his seat. Oh, thank you. That's amazing. Remember the time when we had a connection in Vegas, and the guy next to you, like, I remember we got on this plane from Vegas, and the guy had partied really hard,

and he threw up next to you. Yep, great plane luck. So now it's time to set the table. Or yeah, are they setting the table? No, it's actually, it's the morning. It's bedtime. Where are they setting the table? Oh, James.

No, James, because James, it's bedtime, but James is like, he's offering to help set the table for the breakfast. He's being like Jokey helpful when he has no intention to help whatsoever. Oh, yeah, and he like bunny all help and she's like, yeah, I would love to you. I'm a cook or a table setting Cougar. So it's the morning and they're serving lots of food and they have to set up a beach picnic. And James, all this time, by the way, James has been low-key asking to sail. He's like, can we sail? Can we sail? Can we sail? Can we sail? But the wind knots have been low. Like all episode long

that keeps showing us like, wind knots, like the knots. Wind speed is three knots, four knots. four knots, don knots. Mmm, and Daisy's like, well, hopefully today the window pick up. You're like, but I really want to sail. God, too bad we're not sailing, because the entire would find a lot of his bed. Oh, my God. So then Daisy's in the mess with the stews and marcos,

and she assigns Ashley lunch, the beach picnic. No, no. Lunch. Well, it's a whole thing. Beach is like, I want you to do the table. So if we get a channel, the guys will come back on the boat and then one thing about the boat and I'm going to go out there and then we're going to go out there and she'll pick up the food and she'll bring that back and then I'll go back later with a boat.

You know how that's going to go like that. So then Gary and Glenn and Colin are talking about how hot bunny he is. And Gary's like, so you guys, he's like, see you guys can't get any action with the girls on board. We'll just go for the guests in my ride. And Glenn's like, what do you mean

you can't get action with girls on board? And he goes, well, Daisy made that with me. So, we're gonna kill that one. She attacked me. Yeah. And kill that one. She takes me. Yeah. And I was like, what the hell? That's crazy. And Gary's like, yeah, well, all our girls we have spunk into a full life. And clinkers, who's that? And then he says, yeah, we're gonna go on with full of spunk. Like, I

really love it. So now I guess Gabriella's on Gary's radar. Yeah. So then let's see, the drunk finally wakes up and everyone's making fun of him. And it's anchor time again. And James is like, you guys need help with that anchor? Oh, God! And I,

Brickhouse, Brickhouse, please, someone play it. And then by the way, I don't know, I was watching this on my laptop and I had my headphones in and something I never knew, realized about this show is that when the anchors go down, they give like a full immersive 3D stereophonic anchor

experience. Like, it was like, shh, going from my left ear to the right ear and the splashing. And I was like, ooh, am I in like one of those Van Gogh exhibitions? I'm in the painting. Laving art. So then Tyler wakes up and just starts pounding back those drinks again. Yeah.

And James is running around in a bra. I mean, this family, you guys, you want to talk about an immersive experience. It's this family. Ch-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h- of sandwiches and salads because you know why Ronnie? So that way he can dedicate more time to tonight's feast, the Spanish feast. So now we go to the beach picnic drama. So Kelsey is trying to put up this tent and Just for those who don't remember Tom couldn't get this shit up last week either, right? Because you put the frame and then you have to put the top on or there's something fucked up with this tent So she's like, um,

this might be a two person job, but then she's with Ashley, who's, you know, I mean, she's Ashley. So she's hospital corner ignorant. Okay. So she's just dropping chairs all over her. Everywhere chairs that, Rodney, I, so I've never put up a tent like this before, but my instincts would say, okay, when the tent is folded up, when it's folded up, it's like a bunch, it looks like a bunch of sticks, right? There are, because everything comes together like an accordion. I, I feel like what I would do is put the tarp on in that state and then unfurl it with the tarp already on it. So that way you don't have to try to hop and put the tarp over it.

So that way it unfurls the tarp as it unfurls the six. That's just tough. It doesn't work like that. It's not attached to the thing. So you can't just be like, oh, I'm just gonna unfold it. And you know, the tarp fits tightly across the top, you know? So I don't think it would work that way. I feel like that's my instinct at the very least.

And I would appreciate it if you didn't discredit my instincts Ronnie, okay? Because they're very, I thought it was a very, very conversation. Sorry. Just kidding. No, but I support your tarp ignorance. All right.

I'll stand back shaking my head like a good friend saying, I told him, I told him. Either way, whatever way you do, you do open up that tent and put the tarp on, they're not doing it right. And they're just, it's a disaster. Yeah. So then, they're coming to get, the tender is ready to get the gas.

And of course, Tyler's like, better finish me drink. Oh my God. You're not a fun drunk. This family can't even produce a fun drunk. You just suck, dude. You're terrible. This family sucks. Kick him off the boat.

I'm bored. And last week, you can't follow up last week with this family. I don't care if you have to change the order of how you're releasing episodes, but this family is a cuttable family. Get rid of them. I do feel bad that you're gonna get that wasted

on a yacht and still not be entertaining. Like that really says something. So basically the girls are still putting try to put this tent up with a tarp on top and it's like it's falling. It's just going in strange directions. It's also boiling hot out and now the group is on the tender coming to them and Gary and Gabriela are arriving. Nothing is set up because they spent all this time trying to get this tent going.

That basically the table is empty. It's just like a folding table out there. There's just nothing pretty. And Gabriella is so mortified and so angry that like, they'd never thought for a moment like, maybe we should make it look some parts of this look presentational or whatever the word is. Nice. All right. So or whatever the word is nice.

Right. So one of the guys is like, maybe we could just play some ball or something. And so they've got the tent up and the brothers like, I'm hot. So maybe we can play ball under that tent. They can't interact. And Ashley's like, I need help. And we just need more hands to get this up. We really need someone who's between 28 and 33 to help us.

So, Gabriel August, well, Tom did it by himself. She's like, okay, we don't need an attitude. Okay. I haven't read the list, but I'm guessing that attitude is not on it. Well, you're gonna get an attitude because you should have gotten this big. So you deserve an attitude right now.

So then the brother's still complaining about shade. And Gabriella is like, where's Tom when you meet him? I love that like Tom is the big hero of this and everybody's mind. It's Tom. Okay. And it cuts to Tom doing pull ups on the boat. Yeah. And Gary is helping now.

So all four of them are now working on this thing, which the reason why I think they're doing it wrong is because it shouldn't take four people. Like it was, I feel like if you have the wrong approach, then it's, you know what, never mind. I'm not even gonna go down this dude. This is like the most uninteresting theory in the world. So I'm just gonna stop it before I go down this.

This isn't a older, it's older, Tanttarp technology, okay? It's not made conveniently. It's like trying to put up a tent when we were kids and now you put up a tent by going like, taking it out of the back and it just all pops up. It's the Cougar of tents, let's be honest. Huh.

Come on, shoes. Here comes one right now. So Gabriela is mortified. And then Daisy and Kelsey are talking in the mess and Kelsey's like, uh-oh, Daisy, the beach is pretty fluky over there. She's like, why? She's like, we literally hadn't even brought all the stuff onto the beach before the guests were back on the beach and Daisy's like, well, that's what you're supposed to be doing for the hour. And she goes, yeah, well, we needed that to get the easy setup. I guess that's the 10th easy. No, she says we need to get an easy up, like, which I guess is a kind of tent.

And she goes, we're waiting to rage us for help. She goes, um, we've had ourselves quite a day, Daisy, okay, and then Gary walks in and goes, we need a different tent We need a bigger tent Uh, he didn't say bigger. I'm just making a really bad jaws pun. So Daisy goes, what the fuck? I can't be everywhere at the same time I don't get paid enough money for this shit so then the guests are finally in the shade and a lady, oh, then the tarp kind of flies in their faces. And she goes, oh, yeah, this is what you think it's going to look like. And then this is what it really looks like when you're on one of these glamorous vacations.

Like, you think it's going to look like this beautiful ocean and it's really a tarp in your face. Not what you want to hear when you're trying to provide a five star experience. So they start serving sandwiches and Bunny is like, oh my God, I love tomatoes and cucumbers, which really sums up her personality. And the brother, the tarp complainer,

is like, well, I feel like I'm at sixth grade camp opening my sandwich. I'm all right. So he's at least well, I feel like I'm at sixth grade camp opening my sandwich. I'm alright. So he's at least trying, but they're not good at it. He is trying. Yes. Yeah. So back in the galley, Colin comes into the kitchen and Markus is like, do you take breaks?

And he's like, never knelt at all. He goes, like me. Ding, ding, ding. Everyone who comes in the kitchen, Markus I work the longest okay, and he's finally met his match In Colin yeah, seriously so Yes, so college is poking around and Marcus is making a pie and now the guests are back on the boat and Glenn is like ready to sail He's like come on time it's time to sail, time to sail.

And then they don't have enough air to sail. Seven knots. Yeah, you're not going to do it. So where is all slashes? It's running off. And someone's like, she's probably in the cabin with Tom and As she's like I'm in long ran and everything like oh Classic Ashley classic Ashley so yeah, they're trying to so there's like that's what's happening down down below and up above The boat is not catching any sort of wind and Glenn is just furious He's like, I mean if you don't even try I mean if you if you don't even sail, I mean, you're just a, you're just a motorboat. I mean, you're just a motorboat. That's all you are. You're just a motorboat. Punny's like, did somebody say motorboat, anyone?

Cougar! Oh, so Ashley is doing laundry and Tom comes in and she's like, look at you coming in here with your dirty laundry. He's like, what, everything's wet. Tell me about it. I don't get it. Can you just wash this? So at dinner time, it's table decorations with feathers and silver.

Yeah. silver. Yeah, they're doing feathers and silver and lots of exciting things. And also Glenn is talking to one of the guests because they're like asking him about like the boat and everything. And Gland explains that the anchor is 18 feet like into the water. Though it's anchored down there 18 feet below. But he goes, but the boat is only, it is 15 feet also. So meaning that there's like only three feet of clearance. And the guest goes, have you ever hit the bottom and then goes, that's something we try not to do. Knock on wood.

Knock on wood. knock on wood. Oh, hold on, I don't want to knock on the part of the boat that I broke last season, knock on wood. It's just knocking on Kelsey's head. So then it's nighttime now. Everybody loves their dinner. Tyler's a wasted and embarrassing as usual. So then Tom is on the acre.

I just want to say one thing about this. After an entire hour of watching Marcos talk about his Spanish feast, it is like a 10 second montage. And here's the piaya. Oh, that was great. Thanks, by like, wait, after all that, yeah, I don't even have any notes on what no, it was quick. I think that was. I just have Kelsey saying, walkimoli, that pi pie is prettier than me, but that's all I wrote.

Yeah, holy guacamole, I believe was the full extent of her excitement. So so Tom is on anchor watch and now's the drama 240 a.m. shots of the boat. Tom is hosing down and cleaning the deck. Then, wind speed 8.0 5.25 am. Nobody's in the bridge. Creeeak. Creeeak. Silence. Wind speed 15 knots. And then Ashley wakes up. It's 5.25 am. Ashley's waking up and the wind is starting to pick up. It's 15 knots. Now Tom and Asher like hugging and making out in a place. And now the wind speed is 19 knots and things are starting to blow. It's starting to flap. And Asher's like, give me a smidgey.

And then let's take a selfie and send it to my sister, okay? And then it's getting windier and windier and windier. Asher can't take them out seriously until they're higher in number. So she's like, I hate knots. And then everything starts beeping and everyone's freaking out and I'm like,

shit, we're talking that guy. Yeah, because now all of a sudden it's like 31 knots and things are flapping on like crazy. Like it does, it does escalate very quickly. And so, so Tom is freaking out and then calling wakes up. He's like, oh, we drag, you know, we drag, and then the boat is like starting to tilt. And then there's like everyone's running around

and like Gary comes running out of his cabin shirtless. His hair's just flopping everywhere. The guests are awake, they're in the hallway. It's kind of like crazy, crazy pantomomb, Glenn wakes up really quickly. He's like, and then are we gonna run a ground? Are we gonna run a ground? Who knows? I don't know. We'll have to find out next week It's a to-be continued. So that was all for the episode. Wow, that was it. Wow, they're like let's have a pretty chill episode until the very last five seconds

so And that was it. Wow, they're like let's have a pretty chill episode until the very last one seconds. So I don't know. Yep, Mother Nature, the real Cougar of this episode. The real Cougar. So everyone, thanks so much for being with us here on Washwood. Grappins, go get your live show tickets over at watchwoodcrapins.com. All your Crappins merch over at crappinsmerch.com, and we will see you next time, okay? Bye, everyone. Bye. Watch what Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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