Watch What Crappens - Bethenny Getting Divorced?

Episode Date: April 3, 2012

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From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch What Crappens is brought to you by Gamefly. Go to Gamefly.com forward haha for your free 15-day trial. Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast dedicated to all things Bravo. I'm Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, and joining me today to discuss the Shaws of Sunset, the

Real Housewives of Atlanta, and all that other garbage we love are B-Side blogmaster Ben Mandelker. Say hello, Ben. Hi. And also joining us, as usual, is Ronnie Karam from TVgasm. Hey, Ronnie. Holler! So guys, let's start off with some

Bravo gossip. We've been doing that for the past few weeks, and I think that our fans like to talk some shit, so let's get into it. Yeah, let's get into the Bravo gossipers. I like to call it Brossip. Oh, Brossip. The Brossip. Ronnie, are you down with the new word Brossip?

It kind of sounds like Bro gossip. Maybe brav sip. Brav sip? Brav sip? Because bra sip sounds like a baby snack. Gospo, no. How about crap sip? Crap, crassip? Okay, moving on, moving on.

Why don't we call this section, I should have gone to college. Yeah. Welcome to the podcast about fanatics. Okay, let's first talk about Bethany. I know not everybody is watching her show this season. Oh my god, Bethany! Oh my god! You know, she's starting to grate on a lot of people's nerves, including her husband, Jason Hoppy. So rumor this week was that their marriage is in trouble. They just hit the two-year mark. Is it going to last? What's going on?

Well, on their show, it doesn't look like it's going to last. You don't need to read any gossip magazines if you've seen that stuff. I mean, look, this guy already has a world record for being able to tolerate her for this long. I mean, even her parents don't even want anything to do with her. All the ones dead. But to be fair, but her mom, did her mom just sell her out to the tabloids? Wasn't that on the promos? She did.

She did. But, you know, what did she tell her out about? Well, the mom is a fame whore and said that she was the one who actually discovered and started the Skinny Girl brand. Oh, well that's bullshit. That's crazy. That is crazy, because the mom is a drug addict, but you know,

she also did claim that you know, Bethany is only in this for the fame and for the money, and that Jason is eventually going to get, you know, kicked to the curb. So maybe does the mom know what she's talking about? I mean, I would sort of think maybe yes, because, I mean, why else would one go on to a reality show except for fame and fortune?

I don't know if that's why she got involved with Jason Hoppy. Maybe that's because she has, like, a bunch of friends who, if I remember correctly, were telling her that her eggs were going to dry out. So she sort of felt some pressure to maybe lock that one down while she could. Well, people have babies for all sorts of reasons. I don't see fame and fortune as being a terrible

one. People do it for food stamps. They do it to keep a man. But Bethany's not getting, but she's not getting fame or fortune because of Jason. I mean, she's getting fame or fortune because she actually has a really good brand and she's a smart, she's a smart woman. Well, isn't she funnier? And like, don't we enjoy watching her more when she's single and dating and being silly

and snarky and sarcastic? I mean, the baby and the husband are kind of dragging this down. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I don't care as much about when she's dating, but, um, I do feel like, you know, I don't, I don't give a shit about babies. Here's the thing. I like Bethany. I actually like Bethany quite a bit. But she's a lot. I mean, I feel like

in many ways she's like me. And would you want to be around me for like two years straight? No, absolutely not. Wow. Well, I think that once you... Just like on TV is like in real life. When people have babies, you don't want to hang out with them anymore unless you have a baby. I mean, what the hell's the point? It's true. It's true because who do you want to go drink

cocktails with? A mom with a stroller and a screaming baby? No, with your girlfriends. Exactly, and Bravo is not a channel for babies, okay? This is a channel for gay men and women who like to think they have a bunch of gay friends. Stupid, stupid babies. What is that stupid baby show

that they tried that was Bethany's friend that was horrible? Oh, the baby broker? Baby lady from New York. It was like Tabitha takes over a baby. It was the one that she had a Reddit. SNL actually did a parody of her, which was amazing. Because she has a lisp slash an accent and she was terrible. But it was like Rosie.

Rosie Pope. Rosie Pope. Whatever. She was ruining the Bravo brand, so she had to go away. Million Dollar Baby Broker. Something like that. Something like that. Yeah, she was awesome.

Yeah, when they didn't sell babies on that show, I was done. Yeah, they should always... Now, I would watch a Bravo... Maybe a baby makeover show. Maybe that. Maybe makeovers? Nah. Why not?

I'm just speaking a lot of hot air right now. Maybe like... You know, those auction shows are really popular. Maybe they could do baby auctions. Yeah. Oh, I like that. Or real babies of the... For real babies

of Orange County? You know what, let me tell you something. If I wanted to watch babies, I'd watch Sprap, okay? Which is actually a channel and I've watched it. Okay.

If I wanted to watch babies, I'd go on Facebook and look at all of my friends and their pictures of their effing babies. Okay, you guys, I don't want to see your damn babies, alright?

Exactly. Put some funny things up here about the line at Starbucks or something. I do not care about your real life. Please, spare me. Speaking of babies, let's move on to Bravo's biggest baby and or bitch, Teresa Giudice, star of Celebrity Apprentice, who has been in the news this week. Because she's, what, complaining about people being mean to her?

Well, the upcoming season of Real Housewives of New Jersey is going to be dedicated to everyone hating on her. Well, I think that sounds fantastic because that's what I've always done. And I think to perhaps paraphrase something from Teresa, it has all the ingredients for a great season. As long as it's got plenty of coming. Coming. What's coming okay ronnie let me ask you this last season kind of was the greatest season in jersey history without a doubt with the amazing season opener that became a hot mess nightmare do you think that jersey can live up to that and like continue to get the ball rolling and can they have another awesome season or is it kind of done

to get the ball rolling? And can they have another awesome season or is it kind of done? Oh, no, it's not done. They're going to do more of the same because they shot this season in a row. So they didn't take a break from what I understand. They just kept shooting. So what we're seeing is just a continuation.

There's been no cooling down time. There's been nothing. In fact, the episode they were shooting a couple of weeks after the season finale was when everybody turned on Teresa. So that should happen right at the beginning of the season. So as long as you like trashy people who don't really have a command of the English language yelling at each other and, you know, acting much too small. Sign me up. More importantly, will Kim G be on the series this year?

No, I think Kim G had her swan song because I think once she left, she started up with Andy Cohen on Twitter. Once you do that, you know. You're done-zo. You're done-zo. But I think it definitely has more life in it because it's got that whole twisted family dynamic. It's wonderful. I love it. I'm so excited.

I can't wait to see. Yeah, that one's going to be so good. I can't wait to see what the hell happened that made Jacqueline not go to reunion, okay? Or the reunion. I say reunion as if she's going to court. Do you already know? I don't know. I think I know already. Do you really not know?

It was the fallout with Teresa, right? What happened, though? I think one of their stupid fashion shows. Oh, Posh Fashion? My favorite. Jersey's known for its fashion. Yes. And, you know, Teresa hates her

sister-in-law, but she's faking making up with her and pretending like they're making this peace agreement or whatever. Oh, yeah. And she called the

boss or some employee from the strip club that what's-her-stupid-buns sister-in-law used to work at. To show up, and it was like this big,

you know, shocker. Wait, Melissa or Jacqueline? no Melissa well because Jackie's admitted to being a stripper but why is Jacqueline so mad though that's what I'm trying to get at Ronnie and Jacqueline

accused her of I froze for a second? yeah so Jacqueline accused her of what? Because Teresa set up this person coming and blowing Melissa's cover and telling everyone she's a stripper.

And that was a big stopper for the episode. That pissed off Jacqueline enough not to go to the reunion? Yeah, they got in some Twitter war

about who's really a friend and who's not really... When Jacqueline snaps, she sort of becomes a total mess. Whatever. I secretly love Jacqueline the most. Well, I don't know.

She did raise that awful daughter of hers, Ashley. It's before she had a rich husband to back her. No. She is passive-aggressive. You know, Jacqueline, she's maybe risen towards the top of the cast by default, but not because she has any brains or, you know, maturity. Well, it's like this year on Beverly Hills.

Everyone loved Camille suddenly because she kept her mouth shut. And that's what Jackie does best is just not say anything. But I think when they finally got in a fight, you know, she couldn't take it. It's like she finally got in some drama on that show and she couldn't deal. Bye, bitch. Well, let's now talk briefly before we get into Shaz and Atlanta

about the seven new shows that Bravo has greenlit, which all, in my opinion, sound like pieces of shit. Which means that we will be watching them faithfully. Well, that's probably true, but the upfronts

are happening soon. They're doing a big Bravo reunion with all these cast members. They're announcing the new shows, and truth be told, I just want more of what we already have. I don't need them introducing seven new shows every season.

Well, they gotta find the next... They can't just sit on their laurels. The next thing is Shaz. Do I need five more of them? No. No, but I mean we need... I don't think that's the next thing. I want something to replace all the freaking million dollar brokers and babies and interior design shows.

I mean, those generic shows, they throw at us every single quarter. Like, I want something more exciting. So, Ronnie, tell us what some of these shows are. Okay, the first one here is 10 Things That Make Me Happy produced by Authentic Entertainment. That sounds like such an Andy Cohen show already.

You know what makes me happy? Things. And let's do a show with 10 of them. Mazel, mazel. Mazel, mazel, mazel. Things we cannot have in this show. Eye charts. I don't want to see any eye charts. I would see double. A little wonky eye.

It says, whether it's a family heirloom or the perfect vintage t-shirt, we all own things that have a special place in our heart. The show gets up close and personal with three different celebrities as they share their 10 all-time favorite things. Stop right now. What this is is an advertisement for some

dumbass to show up like Denise. Do I want to watch a half hour of Denise Richards picking her 10 favorite yoga outfits? No, I don't. No, I agree. That sounds a half hour of Denise Richards picking her, you know, ten favorite yoga outfits? No, I don't. No, I agree. This sounds like the sort of thing that airs on NBC on a Friday night at 8 p.m. or something. Or you just, it's like.

Throwaway. Yeah, like, this is such a. But my favorite things? Who the hell. Next. Ronnie, what's next? We're not finished. The first episode will feature Kathy Wakili, Teresa Giudice, and Melissa Gorga.

See, now of course I have to watch it. Right. Now I have to watch it. And it's going to be Teresa going, my favorite cookbook is my own cookbook. My favorite thing, this is my first hairband that I gave to Gia. Oh my God. As long as they just have... This is the cackering.

This is the cackering that vibrates when I put it on Joe's dick. Because I'm a good blower. Aren't I a good blower? I'm a good blower. Aren't I a good blower? I'm a good blower. I'm clutching my pearls right now. She said that, by the way. I'm using her quotes. Because I thought we were going to say, like, oh, she would talk about, like, Melania's best dance routine.

Melania has nothing that's the best, okay? Anything that was valuable to Melania, she's torn up already and thrown into a fire. Okay, Ronnie, what is next? Because clearly that disaster. Clearly, that show's going to be horrible. Kathy Wakili will like back hair, Teresa Giudice will like comment, and Melissa Gorga will like polls. Yeah, well, I think Kathy's going to like

something really sweet, and we're going to love Kathy for it. What is she going to like that's sweet? She's going to love some beautiful wicker picture frame that her daughter made when she was sick. And wrote a letter about it. Yeah, and then you're like, oh, Kathy,

she appreciates her family. And then, like, Teresa's gonna be like, and here's a spoon I found. Kathy's gonna be like, here's my favorite shot collar. I use this on the children. That's why they're the only kids

who can behave on Bravo. She's like, here's my Avatar costume for Halloween. Oh, I love her in Avatar costume. I love that. I wonder what this, maybe this year she'll be, like, dressed up as, like, Wrath of Avatar costume for Halloween. Oh, I love her in Avatar costume. I love that. I wonder what this...

Maybe this year she'll be dressed up as Wrath of the Titans or something. I hope. Or Hunger Games. Oh, she should be... Kathy as the Hunger Games. As Katniss. That would be amazing. Okay, Ronnie, what is the next show?

Come on. Okay, Alumni Project. This is where viewers will meet graduates of some of the best high schools in the country 15 years after the fact. Okay, we'll stop you right there because it was called high school reunion on the wb network next but to be fair um i watched the first season of high school reunion and it was awesome i know totally awesome but this no yeah i'll i'll i'll sample it depending on how they how they market it and how hot the cast i was gonna say is if there's some sexy people on the cast. I wonder if it's serialized or if every episode is a new cast

of people. I can't believe you're thinking about it. I don't want to see. I can just, again, just look at Facebook, and that's where you see all the people from high school. You need to get off Facebook, Ronnie, because it is causing you too much stress. No, no. I think you stay on it

because I'm there, too, and I need someone else there. But the thing is this, I would actually be into this high school reunion show if they go to, like, some school, um, like, I don't know where, like, in the panhandle. Like where there's swamp people? Where it's, like, you see all the popular girls, and now they become fat, and they'll have mom haircuts.

Oh, and they're all, like, addicted to meth and crawfish? No, they don't have to be addicted to meth, they just are, like, all into, like into crafts and Pinterest. Like they were amazing back in the day as the cheerleader and now they're all about scrapbooking and have to get gosselin hairdos and pooches. Exactly. That would be kind of hilarious. I'm in. Okay. We lied. We're in.

Ronnie, next show. Yeah, that sounds good now, right? Yeah. Next is Fashion Stories of NYC. Okay, look. Bravo cannot do a fashion show. They let Project Runway go. What else is going to happen now? More Isaac Mizrahi bullshit?

Wait, what is Fashion Stories? I don't know if it's a competition. Let's see. We follow four up-and-coming fashion design teams as they produce the defining collection of their careers, all under the watchful eye of fashion icon Andre Leon Talley, who looks like Al Gibson in a Reverend Al Sharpton wig. He is horrifying.

He should just have a show already just called, like, Moo Moo Star, and whoever designs the best Moo Moo of the week wins $10 and he'll wear it. Yeah, this picture of him on this story, he's wearing a big old tent. That is just so sad because it's like

he got fired from Top Model, so they replaced him with Kelly Catron, a former Bravo star, and now they're bringing him back to Bravo. It's like switcheroo. If Bravo were smart, they'd bring back Kelly Catron. Don't even get me started because it was our favorite show ever. I still miss Kel on Earth a great deal. Kel on Earth, best show ever. Cry outside.

It's fucking fashion week. Genius. Okay, are there any other highlights from these seven shows because this is taking way too long yes they're all wonderful how dare you I'll say them and you tell me what you want to hear about

the female entrepreneur project no like women can run a business all we want is Suzy Orman and her shoulder pads and we don't care about anybody else if you have a show about some women washing some dishes, tell me about it.

Yeah, have a women in the kitchen show. It's a competition show about women in business. We already have one called Bethany Ever After the Skinny Girl Empire next. And Celebrity Apprentice, who pays attention to the men.

That's all about the women. Next is called Property Envy, another property show. Oh, my God. People really care about real estate this much? It's called HGTV. So it should stay on HGTV. Exactly. This is Bravo.

This is Bravo, okay? Give me a low-budget, Toronto-based show starring Sandra Rina Motto on HGTV. I don't need it on Bravo. Now, to paraphrase the Countess Luanne, this is not the Plaza Hotel. This is Bravo, okay? Amazing. Amazing. Okay, next is Sex and the Kitchen. And this is a docuseries about a group of single, successful, and beautiful women

connected to the restaurant and food industry in Los Angeles. We were hoping for naked male chefs. This is going to be one of those generic shows about some things that comes and goes. Oh, but this is also Lisa's restaurant. This is Vanderpump Sir Restaurant will be the backdrop for Sex in the Kitchens and will also provide the many single, successful women

on which this reality show is based. Excuse me, but that woman, the whole staff are strippers. We saw them already. Yeah, didn't we already learn that one of them already, like, banged Eddie Cibriani? They sleep with the husbands, yeah.

Yeah, they need to call this show People Who Have Fucked Eddie Cibriani Got Stuck Waiting Tables. Yeah. I would watch that. That title would sell a show. You'd watch that, right? I should be running Bravo.

Damn it, I'm wasting my life. Why doesn't Bravo tap back into the whole world of fitness? When they were doing workout, why don't they get something with male personal trainers? Let me tell you right now. How about that? Workout, blowout, and I'm sorry, were those not like the two best shows ever? They weren't the best ever, but they were solid. They were solid, and they were fun.

They just need to add another show and put out on the end of it. It's true. What else can we add out to besides blow out and work out? Drive out. I don't know. Drive through. Drive in. I don't know. They could have a whole franchise there. Something out. Cook out. Cook out. Cook out. Why not? Yeah, why not? I personally would like something with personal

trainers of Los Angeles. I think they should have something called Come Out. You can call in and you can tattletale on who you think is gay but won't admit it. And then you can secretly follow them around and put cameras in their car and in their hat so they'll see everything they're doing. See them giving secret blowjobs at car washes and stuff. Are you a category expert? I mean, have we had an experience at the car wash? No, I've just been out of the closet since I was 15.

Oh, cruising out. Cruising out. Oh, I love it. Cruising out. Or I haven't been in the closet since I was 15. Okay, we need to move on. I hope that everybody is as excited or not as excited as we are about Bravo's new slate.

They will be presenting these this week. Oh, there's one more. There's one more. Oh, God. Okay, last one. And the picture on this, I'm reading this on stupidhousewives.com, and the picture she used for this one

is Dr. Paul from Beverly Hills holding Taylor's face through the fence at the tea party thing. It's hilarious. It looks like he's attacking her from inside a jail cell. When the wealthy elite of Orange County need medical attention, there's only one place to turn. Their cell phones.

This version of the real life where Earl Payne follows a group of doctors whose business caters to the rich through house calls. Oh, my God. What dummy is going to allow cameras to come into their house to show them getting a thermometer stuck up their ass? It's called... Why don't you talk to anyone who's been on the Real Housewives or the Shazza Sunset this week? Because they all don't care. What you will do for fame and fortune...

We've seen Bethany Frankel peeing into a bucket on TV. Anything goes. We saw two people getting colonics this week on Bravo. The tamest thing of all would be to get a thermometer stuck up there. Okay, that was a perfect segue because I'm done talking about these shitty new shows. Let's get

into the juicy, juiciness of Shaws of Sunset. Okay. Let's go there first. You just brought up a colonic, so why not? Why not? Let's go. Let's do colonics. My birthday is in a few weeks. Will you guys take me for a colonic? It's already been booked. Really? You want one? Yeah. I've been a

vegetarian for ten years. Like, I need to get that broccoli out. He has some roughage that has turned into blockage. Yeah, seriously. Well, that whole friendship is so bizarre. Who wants to hang out with some gay guy who never listens to you that all he does is call you fat all day? That sounds horrible.

Who else is MJ going to talk to? Her dogs and her evil mother. I mean, look at the options. Okay, first of all, let me say this. The colonic scene had me laughing out loud.

I thought it was the funniest thing I'd seen in forever. Like, it was absolutely hilarious. And the way he described it is like, you know,

it's like someone took the Beverly Center and put it up your ass and only got halfway and then he turned her over and then the rest of it went up there. And you're like, that's a really inarticulate way to describe it and yet it up your ass and only got halfway and then he turned her over and then the rest of it went up there. And you're like,

that's a really inarticulate way to describe it and yet it totally makes sense. Yeah, but at the same time weren't you thinking like, oh, the Macy's men's store is really big, that would hurt my asshole.

Well, it was sort of strange that that's what he chose. Like, why didn't he do like Empire State Building or why didn't he do like any like the Washington Monument but then he went for

the Beverly Center. Like, people in the middle of the country probably have no idea like, I mean, unless you visited Los Angeles you might not know what the hell the Beverly Center. People in the middle of the country probably have no idea. Unless you visited Los Angeles, you might not know what the hell the Beverly Center is. They probably are imagining some tall tower of shopping that happens. Surprisingly, for those of you who don't live in LA and don't know the Beverly Center,

it's not a phallus. It's more of a rectangle, square-shaped box that's huge, and it would hurt a hell of a lot more than the Washington Monument. Yeah, it would be like putting a yoga block up your ass, basically. With $2 parking. And maybe not the highest quality lube.

And many Persians walking around inside of it. See, that's why he said the Beverly Center, because the only people that shop there are the Persians. No, I shop there too, by the way. You do? You make enough money to shop there are the Persians. No, I shop there too, by the way. By the way, I shop there. You do?

You make enough money to shop there? Everything's too expensive there. I can't go in there. That's the Apple Store I go to. It's so much better.

Oh, it's better than the Grove? Oh, hell yeah. Grove, you have to, the problem with going to Grove is that you have to go to the Grove, okay? Beverly Center, there's a whole secret floor

of parking at the Beverly Center, you know? Oh, I know. You know the secret floor? Oh, I know. And on top of that, when you get on the escalator from the secret floor, it leads you right off at the Apple Store. It's perfect. And the last time I went to the Apple Store, I know. You know the secret floor? Oh, I know. And on top of that, when you get on the escalator from the secret floor,

it leads you right off at the Apple Store. It's perfect. And the last time I went to the Apple Store, you know who's sitting next to me? Who? A Persian celebrity.

No, the lady from Lord of the Rings. Whatever her name is, she was next to me. Liv Tyler? No. The other lady who... The other lady from

Lord of the Rings. Not Cate Blanchett. The other lady. Miranda Otto. That's her name. Okay. She wasanchett. The other lady. Miranda Otto. That's her name. She was there. So it has me and Miranda Otto. We endorsed the Beverly Center.

Was she working at the Apple Store? Because her movie career since then. She repaired my iPhone. And she suggested a new cover. And she was wearing chain mail. It was really very exciting. Multi-talented. Okay, what else happened with MJ this week besides her getting a colonic?

Her mom came to visit for her birthday. And it was actually, by the way, very enduring. I like that she had a small birthday with just her mom and Riz. And lots of grilled meat. They love a bowl of grilled meat. Oh, I wanted to have that meal. I wanted to just go run over next door and pound on her door. full of greens meats. Oh, I wanted to have that meal.

I wanted to just go run over next door and pound on her door. But, you know, her mom, I love, her mom, like, is the sort of woman that if I saw her at Ralph's or Trader Joe's,

I'd be like, ugh, get out of the way, woman. You would talk shit about her. Yeah, but I see her on TV, I'm like, I love her. You know, when she was, like, talking about Reza's dad

who's, like, the philanderer, she's like, so let him flirt. Let him flirt. Let him flirt. Stop trying to keep him in a cage. Let him flirt. That woman is. Let him flirt. Stop trying to keep him in a cage. Let him flirt. That woman is fucked up.

What did her ex... But MG made it seem like her mom cheated on her father. But then I started to think... It was either that or the father was having an affair with another man. No, I think that she said that her mom... It was rumored that her mom was cheating on her dad. Yeah, all they said... All she said was another man was in the picture.

Well, that's true. But I think she was talking about the mom because she said you know my mom doesn't understand the decisions that you make can affect everybody further down the road or whatever i will say you know obviously from almost hoeing it up this is this is the first week where i actually started to like raise up before i thought he was like just sort of obnoxious um he was amazing this week i thought he was like really like I really enjoyed him I really enjoyed MJ honestly I really love MJ no I look I think them together the two of them I think

are fantastic and I do believe that it is a real friendship there and Reza is loud and crazy and silly but the same time I also feel like he's kind of the central character of this show that holds it all together. And he really, he's smart.

He knows what he's talking about. He's a little ridiculous, but who isn't? Yeah, I agree. And you know what? I have to say, when he was on that ridiculous date, by the way, with this, like, 20-year-old kid. Twink, twink, twink, twink. Oh, God. Twink.

Oh, my God. Girl, twink. That guy was so stupid. And then, oh, he's stupid. But then Reza, you know, he was funny. He was just sort of, you know, he was able to make conversation. I was secretly, like, really surprised and happy that he was not into this 22-year-old twink. Yeah, I was a little afraid he'd be like, oh, he's wonderful.

Yeah, but he was like, I'm sorry, but are you a zygo? Like, he was like, what is going on? Yeah. No, I was happy. But also, that's the kind of gay that, that memos are afraid of. Like, when, when you tell your memo you're going to be gay and she starts sobbing and throwing Bibles. That's why, you know, that little gay guy. Yeah.

Every comment he made was about being a hoe. And loving, and loving fashion. Yeah. Yeah. He's like, um, I'm an organizer of fashion at the Fashion Center for Fashion. And, well, how many boyfriends have you had this week? Ah! I'm an organizer of fashion at the Fashion Center for Fashion. Well, how many boyfriends have you had this week? It's like, oh, my God.

Why are you bragging about all your STDs, boy? I know. He looked like he was covered in them. And you know what, though? He probably takes people to the back room of the Beverly Center. Exactly. Whatever boutique he works at. Or that car wash that Ronnie's doing. Oh, yeah.

He probably works for a car wash that sells sunglasses, so he calls it a fashion boutique. Yeah, that was a pretty sad first date, for sure. It made me feel like, you know, maybe being alone forever. Oh, you know, I want to say this while I'm blabbering on about nothing. MJ, one of the things she said that was so cute was how her parents' relationship, you know, that's ruined relationships for her. And she's just – there's nothing wrong with being single. It's just waiting for the right guy. And I thought, poor thing.

Like, that's cute that she's turning it around to be someone else's, you know. Like, I'm doing the right thing by waiting. That's what I tell myself when I'm sitting home with a pizza. Like, I'm just waiting for the right guy. And maybe it'll be this Domino's guy who's almost... You are, like, you're hitting... This is getting way too close to home for me right now. Yeah, this is getting really serious, Ronnie.

Like, I'm starting to feel my inner thigh. This is getting, like, Bethany right now. I'm just kidding. How dare you throw me a birthday party? Oh, yeah. How could you do this to me? Okay, I'm sorry. I have to say, it was a little bullshit of Reza to tell Gigi, who's through

this, like, really nice party for her parents' 40th birthday, for Reza to say, oh, I can't make it out of a blind date. That's a little bullshit. I mean, listen, Reza had the right idea by not showing up, but, because I would not want to spend any extra time with Gigi and her knives. Well, the crazy thing is, I actually kind of liked Gigi's mom and dad. Oh, I loved her dad.

But how did they end up having such a monster? Because they spoiled the little rat. And her sister's super cool. I love the way her sister negotiated for that Mercedes. Okay, we're talking about this right now because it really bothers me. I'm a car fanatic. And so they showed the sticker price,

$55,000 for an E-Class Mercedes. Okay, great. They're going to go and they're going to split it. They are leasing that car for $500 a month for three years. That is not buying a car. So they did not buy their father a car for his birthday. The sister is leasing him a car. And meanwhile,

Gigi's portion of that is coming directly from her dad. So really the dad is basically buying... The dad is leasing his own car. Leasing a car for half off. Yeah, she's about to get cut off too, so he better not sell the car he has now. Did anybody see that though? I'm sorry, that is a big difference.

I don't know why it angers me. Well, it doesn't really bother me, to be honest, but my concern was, I bet he already has like, a relatively new Mercedes, and he doesn't need this car at all. That's true. And they just got it, because it sounded cool, and he's paying for it too. So do you think that she's going to be able to curb her

spending, because the daddy was about to say like, I'm about to cut up your credit cards. No, because the thing is with Gigi, is that she is a stark, raving, mad bitch, and she's going to buy shit if she wants to buy, and they're never going to be able to cut her off, because if they cut her off, she's going to cut them in the throat. Do we know how old she is? Because the sister has

a job that she clearly goes to five days a week. She's like 32 or 33. She's in her 30s, and she does not work? Correct. Well, you guys, the dad didn't even say, I'm going to cut you off. He said, we need to find you a man to take my place. What the fuck kind of parenting is that you

know this is america get a job you skank yeah i agree i mean okay excuse me would none of you like quit your lives if a rich dude came along and was like hey take these oh no i had one i will never do it again two weeks into it i was i was in abercrombie trying on plaid because he wanted me to wear plaid. I was like, this is not fun for me. He's like, well, if I'm buying clothes, I want an input. And I thought, this is the rest of my life. Oh, hell no.

You get no input. That's the rest of my life. I would pay $50,000. I would buy you. I would lease you a new Mercedes if I could see you in a plaid shirt from Abercrombie and a pair of khakis. I would die. Okay, deal. Good thing is I can't afford a Mercedes, but I can afford

to lease one. Yeah, I said no when I was young and idealistic. Now I'm old and bitter. I'll take it. Let's do this. Do whatever you say. Okay, let's move on. Let's talk about your, what? I was going to say, the buffet spread at that party, the anniversary party, looked delicious. Are you ravenous right now? I have going to say, the buffet spread at that party, the anniversary party, looked delicious.

Are you, like, ravenous right now? I mean... I have not had dinner. Okay. So, when they were digging into, like, a giant, like, three gallons of pickled vegetables, I was, like, I was ready to just run into that party and just scoop it all up for myself. I only want three gallons of diamond water. Oh.

Now, let's talk about Asa. Okay. Is that where you're going to transition to? No, but let's go there. The thing with Asa this week, obviously she is the auteur behind the epic Persian summer jam known as Tarantulas.

Walking down the street! She's obviously a genius and she brought her track to a producer friend of hers who listened to it and pretty much let her down about as politely as anyone could. You know, he said, if you want. Only Persians are going to buy this shit. He said, I can see how Persians would love this. If you want to maybe get on the radio, we should maybe go for a bigger sound.

I'm doing air quotes because bigger sound is such a vague thing of being saying. What a nice man. That's a way of saying a good sound, a bigger sound. A very, very different sound. And he says, if you want to keep it as it is, I may just have to be a fan from the sidelines. That's what I'm saying. Bitch, this is shit. This is shit.

It broke her Persian priestess spirit. Well, I mean, like, the diamonds in her side of her just turned right back to coal. I mean, she was devastated. She actually said it was hurtful. I don't know why she'd be surprised about this. And when she starts saying how she's an artist, oh, hey, babe. I love seeing people fail when they sit there and pitch their thing while you're listening to it.

Like, she starts playing it for him, and then the whole time she's like, isn't this great? This is so sweet. This is the sweetness. It's like, shut up. Your song sucks. And the best part is that she actually thought it was going to be a crossover hit. She actually said that two weeks ago. She's like, this is going to be my crossover.

Matter of fact, she orchestrated it. It's the crossover. This is it. Yeah, I can really see Kyle Richards bumping it while driving her Escalade. Well, I actually could see that. And she'd be like, what song is this? That's true. Why? We're in Morocco? That's true. Why?

We're in Morocco? What's a Tran? Where is Saddam Hussein? I didn't know he sang songs. Hey, I want to take a ride on the Tran. Why is the fan jealous? Why is that? I don't get it.

Hey, that song is really good. Maybe you can come over to my house and play it sometime. I'm going to have a big party at Kyle's. I'm staying on the couch over there. You should come over. Swap beer, what you call me? I'm pregnant with your song. Hey, I got pregnant with your shit.

I was just, hi, you're shit. Translist is so good. I just got pregnant when I started listening to it. Oh my god, I hope you don't go to war with Translist. That would be terrible. We live so close to there. They have weapons of mass instructions. Oh, Kim, please come back to me.

May she never leave. Is Matt just passed out on the floor right now? Matt is like, he has a look on his face like, I have lost control of this podcast. I don't claim to be in control. You must feel a little control. Just because I'm an only child and have issues. Oh, yeah, yeah, a lot of control. Okay, well then let's move on to, you kept telling me last night that you want to talk about Jodie Foster hair, and I didn't really understand.

What I was trying to talk about was the fact that Mohammed from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was back on the show, on this show, Shots of Sunset, and because Sammy was, you know, was doing renovations with him, etc. And I was going to talk about, I was going to marvel over how Mohammed has beautiful Jodie Foster hair. It could also be Gloria Allred hair, whatever it is, just sort of feathered and... I actually do think it is very Clarice Starling, but with a gray tint.

Yeah, it's like a gray Clarice Starling, sort of like a middle-aged lesbian look. Like a long bob. Very sexy on him, but he does that whole bro thing when he greets you. Works well for Mohamed. It does work well for him. Good for him.

Do you know what I have a problem with, though? What the fuck does Sammy do? Does he just walk around and touch surfaces and go, oh, don't have any scratches? What, what, is that what being a building contractor in Beverly Hills is all about?

He's gotta go hey-voon-bazi on that building. Pishi-pishi, man. Pishi-pishi. Ronnie knows what we're saying, right? Because he's Middle Eastern. Shut up. We're speaking your language, Ronnie.

You're like, Ronnie, you're not completely white. What do you think about Trayvon? We're not all the same, all right? Oh, my goodness. Yeah, Sammy does nothing. Okay, we need to move on to Atlanta but any last discussion points for Shaz the party

MJ showed up late let's talk about Gigi what the hell kind of woman is Gigi she makes her whole storyline about how she's so angry she wants to beat people and then she talks about knives what is wrong with that girl oh I forgot

let's talk about... Let's talk about Gigi's collection of books. Did you guys not see when they painted across her book? Oh, it's like my Kindle! When you're addicted to pills, Alcoholics Anonymous. I mean, I took a photo of it because it was so crazy.

Here's the thing with Gigi. She's terrible. I think that's the thing with her. Is that it? And she also speaks like she's got a bubble in her throat all the time. Is it a kind of bubble? Yeah, she's horrible. She has Iranian magic face.

That's all I have to say. I guess we don't have to talk about it forever. I do like the way her dad, he speaks like this or whatever. My impression's very rough. But he has a very high pitch and soft voice I find that amusing I do like him

and I like his man pony but okay I took a picture I'm like pulling it up right now she had a book about bipolar disorder she had The Idiot's Guide to Intimacy

she bought that when she was feeling manic she had Alcoholics Anonymous 4th edition I mean it was out of control I mean she has every book because she has

every problem right yeah but you know what, though? She doesn't know how to read, so it's really difficult. Oh, yeah. Yeah, buying a book. As I've learned many a time, buying a book is just a pain. She's like, here, I just bought Hunger Games.

No, that's Alcoholics Anonymous. No, I'm sure she can read, just very slowly. My Kindle is all self-help. Every night before I go to bed, I just switch back and forth to self-help. He's like, GTR, is this you? Ronnie's reading How to Win Back Your Sugar Daddy that you told off ten years ago. You're so snuggling up to that checkered shirt from Abercrombie right now. I know you're smelling it.

Like Brokeback Mountain. Yes. Hugging it on its hanger. The ghost of the sugar daddy. OMG. That movie grossed me out, Brokeback Mountain, because, you know,

like whenever they show old movies, all I can think of is they did not manscape. Like, that's all I can think about. That's all I can think about during all of Brokeback Mountain. During the tent scene or during any scene?

Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly

accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy

early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For for Real I'm Francesca Ramsey and I'm Conscious Lee what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History Rosa Parks Reconstruction MLK February Black History Month exactly exactly there are so many stories of Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this

show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. During any scene where they were being all gay, like, they are so bushy, I can't watch this. It's like Tay-Lore, or Ty-Lore from Top Chef with his nudie photos. Oh, that's not good.

God, don't take a second. That 70s Bush gave me nightmares. Oh, God. That was the original name of that 70s show. It was called That 70s Bush, but it didn't quite pan out. Speaking of bushes, let's talk about Cynthia and her wigs on Real Housewives of Atlanta, because those are some bushes. Now, did you get the impression that this episode was pieced together from scraps?

Because the hairstyles were changing nonstop. Well, I think they were piecing it together because Atlanta is the number one rated show on the network, and when they were like, okay, we're going to have 16 episodes. Wait, we have to cancel Love Broker because it's a piece of shit. Let's make 18. Yeah. So, yeah, it was a pretty dull episode. Although I thought it was hilarious when Phaedra dragged them all to this wretched event that seems like it was held in a lobby of some mall.

Although it's probably a government building. Well, in Atlanta, it's a government building. And there were 18 speakers for this funeral director who comes in. This man never saw something he couldn't put a top hat on. You know, like, Portlandia put a burden on it. This guy has put a top hat on it. I love it. He has top hats everywhere.

He probably sleeps in a giant top hat, you know? You know, like, remember Mount Airy Lodge? Yes. You know, they show the people in the, was it the champagne glass bathtub? His is a giant. A giant top hat. His honeymoon was in, his honeymoon bubble bath was in a giant top hat. I guarantee you.

Um, well, you know. And then there were jobs, too. He's like a magician, actually. He is a, he's just a magician. Yeah. Um, I was expecting some of, you know, Hotlanta's elite to be there like Lil Wayne and such but nobody there was famous they were all just old people

like you buried my dad it's just one of those awful civic events that just happen if I were losing Atlanta I'd be furious that there's any money put into this I hate Cynthia and I never agree with her but I wouldn't want to put on a fresh wig and a nice dress to go to this piece of shit.

I agree. If I were Kim, I would have walked out too. Yeah, I mean I hate when I put on my wig and then I find out that all I'm doing is sitting listening to people eulogize a funeral director. Get it? Get it? Got it. Ronnie, did you get it? That's a wordplay.

I did. That's a little bonus for the people who are still listening. Some fresh wordplay. To show that we're still smart. Yes, for those of you that are still with us, thank you very much. So Phaedra is ridiculous and is she... But I still love her, though,

by the way. And again, would you let her bury you? No, because I get creeped out by her overly sympathetic tones when greeting a mourning family. She's like, yes, and I'm so sorry for your loss. And, you know, let me express once again. She is a southerner.

It's like it's too much. She doesn't... That selling was wonderful. That was my favorite part of the scene. And I love how she tough sells it. She's like, now, you loved him, didn't you? Then you must spend money on him because that is how you show him that you loved him.

This is the last thing you can do for him. This is the last thing you can do for him. And then she was also, and will that be with cash or credit? I'm like, I don't. She was ready to snatch that wallet. Do people often just pay for $14,000 funerals with a credit card right then and there? I mean, it felt like they were at the supermarket, like checkout right there. I don't know. I don't know.

It would have been actually really funny. You know how, like, anytime they make expensive purchases on this show, on any of the Real Housewives, Bravo always puts up a price tag on the bottom, like, $6,000. Right. Like, funeral, $14,000. And by the way, she said something about pine boxes. In the Jewish religion, I think it's customary

to bury people in pine boxes because it's modest. Modesty. What a strange idea. Although, I think it's customary to bury people in pine boxes because it's modest. Modesty, what a strange idea. Although I have to give... Are you suggesting that your culture is elite and better than everybody else? I'm suggesting... And whoever's phone is blinging needs to turn it off. That was my phone.

That was not me. And what I'm suggesting is that the point is that there is a place for the pine box. But I will say, I also have another update, another Jewish update. I think a week ago... Passover? Is that coming up soon? Yeah, on Friday, actually. Oh, see, I'm a good fake Jew. No, but I'm a bad real Jew, because I said, by the way, two weeks ago,

that the Persian Jews were Ashkenazi, and the European Jews were Sephardic. It's the other way around, people. Did you get hate mail? No, just someone did politely tell me and you know i just want to set the record straight because i i know i know i educate a lot of people you do i know people tune in people tune in for the education they should be you know airing this in in high school classrooms it's a cultural institution already it is i mean if we can have jobs talking about this shit then you know young kids should aspire to be us yeah although you should probably stop

saying shit oh well no it's It's on the TV these days. It's the new slang. Have you not seen Bully? They say the F word. That's true. Anywho. No, it's Bully. If you would not have Phaedra bury you, would you have Candy stick one of her sexual products in you?

Well, it's got to feel better than the Beverly Center going up your ass. That's for sure. That is true. True. Well, I love that they showed that because it goes to show you how every Housewives product is made. Basically, these bitches sit down with somebody who has a catalog of stuff to sell, and then they put their name on it.

Yeah. Yeah. They just put a different wrapper on it. They make it, you know, a nice fancy wrapper with a nice big gold K on it and they call it Candy's line even though she did nothing. Well, you know what? Yeah, like a lipstick vibrator. We just saw that on Beverly Hills and it's been around forever.

So, whatever. Get the terminology correct. Clipstick. But, you know, the thing is this. I would actually... I don't have sex toys. I don't buy sex toys. Is that why you're single? That's probably why. I just... I could find the love of my life that why you're single? That's probably why. That's probably why. I just...

I could find the love of my life by going to the pleasure chest. It's true. I will buy you a Passover treat if you take me for a colonic. Why is that out for not appetizing? But the point was this. Oh, I trust Candy would actually put her name on a good sex toy. I feel like she actually knows what she's talking about. I mean, it's completely ridiculous because she didn't do anything except slap her name on it.

You are always full of Candy hate. You know, I did some research, by the way. I was about to say this. Let me get this out and then you can talk all the shit you want. Yeah. I actually thought that the product line looked really great. And if I were a lady, more of a lady than I am, I would have every damn one of them in my nightstand. Well, now I know what Secret Santa is going to get you this year.

I would not be shopping at Tags, but I would be buying all of those products. Well, that's the only place you're going to be able to find them is at Tags. In the bargain bin. I just can't imagine a sex toy I would actually need. I mean, do they make fake hands? Like, you just have something there? They do. I believe that Phaedra actually operated on one of them to embalm it.

That could be a great partnership. Yeah, they get embalmed by Phaedra and then sent off to horny guys. We are learning so much about Ronnie tonight. We're learning a lot about a lot of different things. That is true. You're the one who said you wanted all the sex toys in your drawer. If you were a lady. I don't like the idea of cleaning something after playing with this.

Are you that lazy? Are you that lazy? Yes, of course, yes. Yes, I am. I'm a proud, lazy man. Okay, and you can just toss the tissue in the trash. A disposable candy-coated toy. You can put half of that stuff in the

dishwasher with your dishes. It's the acu-do of... It's true. That's actually the best... That's the best idea, you guys. We should start our own product line with Watch It Crappens and have disposable sex toys. Nobody's done that yet. It'll be like the flip cup, the red cup.

It'll be ubiquitous. It'll be everywhere. But cup, the red cup. It'll be ubiquitous. It'll be everywhere. But wait, can only rich people buy it because they can afford to throw away their sex toy and then just buy a fresh one? Oh, no, it'll be cheap just like this podcast. Don't you worry. It'll just be some little plastic thing with a dollar store battery in it. And I can't tell you how many people tell me that when they listen to this podcast, they get nothing but aroused. Nothing but aroused.

Are you suggesting that a lot of people are at home listening to this and rubbing their crotches? Yes. Or driving to work listening to this? People are driving off the road. They are so aroused by this discussion right now. Are they twisting their nipples as they listen to us? It's out of control what's going on. Andy Cohen, you don't even want to know what Andy Cohen's doing right now as he listens to us. Wow. He's probably sitting in

a bowl of pudding. He's probably like, check my Twitter and check my porn. You know he's a closet freak. Yes. So, but can we talk about Nini also, by the way?

We have to talk about Nini because Nini is a freak and she is thinking now that she and Greg are kind of, you know, not together,

she's going to pack up her shit and move to Hollywood and become a famous actress. I kind of think that's a good idea, to be honest. Get out of ATL. She was well received on Glee. She's going to pack up her shit and move to Hollywood and become a famous actress. I kind of think that's a good idea, to be honest. Get out of ATL? She was well-received on Glee. She's got nothing going on in ATL.

And quite frankly, she walked into Crustacean and she held shop. She was like the queen of whatever... I don't know what country it was, but she was receiving royalty. What country? Crustacean is really... If we're going to call it a country, it's fancy

red lobster country. Yeah, well, it tastes better than that, although I love red lobster. I've been to Crustacean twice, and it's very tasty, but I, you know. Okay, Crustacean was hot like three years ago. More like ten years ago. Okay, ten years ago. The only people that go there now are NeNe and Keisha Nightfolium.

Which, by the way, is not necessarily something that would drive me away. But Steve Harvey, that will send me right. Okay, excuse me. Ronnie, did you not think that Rudy was unrecognizable? That was Rudy Huxtable? That was Rudy Huxtable. Girlfriend has new mouth, new teeth, new nose,

new hair. She's a little different, yeah. Well, poor thing. And she's also not nine years old. On the Cosby show, she was growing hair all over her face. Yeah. You can't really blame her. You have a problem with hair. He's like, oh, I thought that was her. No, that was Steve Harvey.

Steve Harvey, by the way, was noticeably muted. For a big comedian, he was very quiet and bitter. Although there's a lot of allegations against him from his ex, right? Well, yeah, and then the new wife with her 25-karat ring. I kind of like the wife. His wife. Well, she has them by the balls. It's fantastic. Yeah, she seemed actually like she was a little sophisticated, you know?

Now, I thought, by the way, Nini's assistant, we've seen my thing once or twice before. He makes me ill. But I love the way she describes it. She goes, he is very gay. Yeah, can you... She's like, can you stop being gay? He can't stop being gay for five seconds. Nothing he does is not

gay. But why does he have those crazy tattoos on his scalp? Okay, that's what I was going to get at. Self-respecting gay does that. If Nene is trying to class up the joint and make a move to Los Angeles, and she's going to meet with all these executives at the studios, let me bring in a flaming homosexual

with star tattoos on his bald ass head with a man scarf like not a smart move yeah i have to say i feel bad for the normal gays of atlanta because this show man it makes the gay population look bad okay what reality tv star that is gay ever gave the gays a good name besides pedro real world san francisco but what about Jeff Lewis? Oh, because he is a model citizen. No, but he's but you know, I would say that he treats his slave labor poorly. But you know what though? He's got

a dry sense of humor. He's talented. He's accomplished. There are some good gays. You know, even, I mean, honestly, we joke about Andy Cohen but you know, he's not a reality star. There have been some good ones. I don't remember them. You're crossing're crossing the line now the gays the gays on the real housewives of dc were were like normal normal gays and um and they got canceled yes this is true were there any gays in miami no i don't know okay we have to talk they're good gays out there. Let's talk um, Croy and Kim. You know, um.

You're a hater. No, I just, I like Croy. They bore you, right? They're like, okay. They're okay. Uh, okay. Well, I love that conversation where he's asking the dad for Kim, and the dad's like, ah, I just got a couple questions for ya. I love them, and I love the

cell phone belt clip and his jean shorts. The dad was so excited. The fact that he went through this bullshit of having to ask questions. You know, the dad was like, thank you. You know he wanted to get down on his knees and be like, just never leave her, please. I know, right? But, okay, I know my heart is made of stone,

but isn't it nice that Kroy actually does accept Brielle and Ariana as his own kids? No, I think it's actually great. I thought it was actually very touching last week when Ariana was crying upon his return. That's like a big deal for someone to come in. I mean, and she normally only cries for cupcakes. She does. Well, you know, it's like you live this hard life where you're growing up and your mom's like being a whore. Like literally a whore.

And embarrassing your ass all over the place. And everyone at school is making fun of you and calling your mom a whore. embarrassing your ass all over the place and everyone at school is making fun of you and calling your mom a whore. And then she actually finds a nice guy. Okay, well do you guys think Kim is less of a whore this season? I think she's actually totally mellowed out and I do think she has mellowed out. She has mellowed out. If she was with a gas station attendant maybe, but

she's with somebody because she knows he's got money so she's a hoe. Well, she is a hoe textbook wise, but in terms of her more obnoxious personality quirks they they've sort of been, like, muted. It's like he's sort of like the medicine that she needs. But is she doing that because she doesn't want to lose Croy on his dollar bills? No, I don't think that's calculated. I think that she actually is genuinely happy, and I think that it has mellowed her out.

The Big Daddy situation, or Big Papa, that probably did actually have a big psychological toll on her. I think she actually genuinely seems happy. Okay. The only thing that bothers me is that for the smallest task, she needs to get three people to help her. I mean, it's just ridiculous. Yeah, she always talks about this work that she has. She has no work except microwaving her fucking wig.

She doesn't even try to maintain the charade, the charade of having a singing career anymore, or even having a wig line. All she wanted to be was a one-hit wonder, and now she's good. Yeah, she's a one-hit, one-wig wonder. Okay, Ronnie, are you going to watch Kroy and Kim's wedding debacle, also known as Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding? Oh, I will do it for this show, but I'll be honest with you, I'm going to be playing some kind of Tetris or something during that.

I mean, like right now you were telling me Steve Harvey was on the show. I didn't even notice him because I was playing Tetris. I just had it on because I had to watch it for this. We're glad to know that you're dedicated. Well, I like that Sheree is going to be a bridesmaid. I hope that she's the maid of honor and then she can, like, scream at people. Do you think Kim would ever put her bridesmaids in hideous dresses to make her look even better on her wedding day? Because I do.

Yes. him would ever put her bridesmaids in hideous dresses to make her look even better on her wedding day because i do yes they'll all be wearing like stupid like pink star i don't think that look like stars i don't know that's my vision that i have like maggie simpson and her like snow whatever don't listen to me perhaps they um will also you know well we have to talk about cynthia for a second because she makes me angriest okay let's talk about the modeling school they're about to have an event. It's so busy, that school. It is so busy. I don't know how she does it.

There's going to be 400 people lined up around the block. They're going to have like an event and like... And Peter! How are they going to set up an event when there's like already like 20 or 30 people

always in that lobby? Always. Always. It's bustling. Bustling. How are they going to do that? How is Peter going to manage such a big event?

Because he has such good management skills. He has such good management skills. He has such good management skills, and he's so well known for lining up vendors and getting reliable people and paying them. And paying, you know, delivering checks that don't bounce. Like, ahead of time. This is, you know, it should be easy for him. He may get a little stressed out, though, with the crowds.

He might. He might. You know, but luckily, he's always really good about making sure there's plenty of air conditioning. Well, he's a good businessman. Great businessman. Great. The best. The best.

The best of Atlanta. They will be honoring him next year with top hats. Instead of Willie Watkins. Yeah. Yeah, no. I agree. Yeah, it's great. If you're about to go into business with someone who doesn't have anger management issues and

isn't completely bloodshot all the time, then you've got a problem. Yes. So we have anger management issues. We only have a few minutes left. So why don't we get to Jeff Lewis and interior therapy. How big of a pussy was the dude on this week's episode? Big pussy. Gaping.

Peishy peashy. He's a big ol' peishy peashy. He looks like he just had the Beverly Center shoved right up his hole. Because he's a big old he looks like he just had the Beverly Center shoved right up his hole because he's a big old pussy for those of you who didn't watch this week was a wits of a man who was living in his aunt what was her name

Aunt Gilda or Aunt Gita Gita he's living in his Aunt Gita's house and won't change it at all because he loves his aunt so much I mean we could go by and egg him tonight I mean he's only a few blocks from here his Aunt Gita's house and won't change it at all because he loved his aunt so much. I mean, we could go by and egg him tonight. I mean,

he's only a few blocks from here. Yeah, where was it? Mid-Wilshire. I think he's like off Curson or one of those streets.

Like, he's very close. Well, you know, the thing is this, and I don't mean to devalue any family things

or whatever. You know, I know people who are very close to their grandmothers, their grandfathers, mothers, fathers. I've never really seen

someone so attached to their aunt. Okay, excuse me. Do you... Am I the only one that, like, cherishes my deceased family member's bedpans? I mean, disgusting. I actually use my late grandmother's bedpan as my cake dome over there.

Well, I am going to have a piece of that cake, so that will not deter me. Ronnie, do you still have any of your grandparents' panties? I do not have any poopy panties of my grandma's, no. I do have a little diamond ring. When my grandma died, all the ants, my great-aunts went crazy and started hoarding all her stuff. But I got this little diamond ring thing,

and it says Beverly Hills on the box. So I'm sure it's worth billions of dollars. I'm just saving my desperate arms. You know where it was bought? At Sammy's friend's jewelry store. In the Beverly Center. In the Beverly Center. Which is where the jewelry store probably is.

Probably. Naturally. You're down at Westwood Boulevard. And they'll say it's Beverly Hills, but it would really be Beverly adjacent. We know. This guy was such a tool not only did he refuse

to touch anything of his aunts but then any input that his girlfriend had and the girlfriend Tiffany she was cute they both were cute but if he screws this up with her he's not getting anybody better well that goes to show you about the shortage

of men in this town. Men are such pussies in this town, didn't you think? It's like the wussified man in this town. There's not any real men in here. He must be the laughingstock of the Armenian community, because I feel like Armenians... It's like a mommy issue, right? But I feel like they're very...

Well, the question is, it's like Mike on Shazza Sunset, like a real... That's crazy. I don't know. It makes no sense to me. And they did a nice job with the house, but I think that that relationship is doomed. And I think any girl that goes in that guy's life is going to be going up against Gita at all times. Did anybody notice that Jeff and Jenny refused to touch the kitchen and the bathroom, which are the most expensive rooms in a house to redo? Because Bravo has a budget, you know?

I was thinking about that. Because the first episode, they did so much remodeling, and then I didn't see the second one, and this one, I was like, oh, they're just doing a living room and a bedroom. Just a little paint. I was like, gosh, they're really... Some light fixtures and some paint. Yeah, I guess they really blew their designing wad on the first episode.

Well, some of these shows, actually, the network doesn't pay. The actual customers pay. Really? Like, yeah, Candice Olsen, Divine Design, my favorite show. Oh, I hate her. these shows actually the network doesn't pay the actual customers pay really like canada yeah candace olsen divine divine design my favorite show on hctv how dare you sir anyway her show i know that the customers pay and they they agree to have it filmed yeah they saw it before you agree to have it filmed because you're getting jeff lewis and that would normally cost you 50 grand kind of thing so i guess you kind of have to do what's in your budget.

I don't think that Bravo is, you know, doling out wads of cash. Yeah. Well, I mean, they went to HG Buttercup, so, you know, we know it wasn't the highest in quality stuff. That's a little Los Angeles reference. That's like the Beverly Center, except it's for furniture. It's on Venice and it's not the best. I think it's kind of glam.

No, it's cool, but it's not glam like some of the other places that he goes to. No. It's out of my price range. Let me put it that way. It's definitely out of my price range. They've got nice pieces but the Buttercup place is still not nearly as swanky as many of the other furniture places that he normally goes to. I was a little shocked

actually when he went there. Okay, we're getting close to wrapping up here. OC was not new this past week, so we can't talk about that, but we can talk about the upcoming episode where it looks like the girls are doing a mud run, and that gives Gretchen an excuse to put on a stripper outfit and shake her titties in some brown liquids.

Yeah. Can you just please, Real Housewives of Orange County, not have every scene take place at a fucking doctor's office this week. Last week, it was like calling, it was like talking to an old lady on the phone. It's like, how are you? Well, I had to go to the doctor. Everyone was at the doctor.

Get out of the doctor. How else do you think they're going to start that OC medical spinoff? They need to put all these doctors on OC. Yeah, exactly. Oh my god, it's like one's got cancer, one's got and who the hell wants to get their boobs removed? Give me a break, woman.

And what was the other doctor's seat? Oh, Alexis. With her nose. Her nose had to be surgically removed. She turned into Voldemort. Oh, my God. Alexis. Are we going to cry?

Speaking of... I can only tell you yes, because I am going to cry at everything. Okay. Whatever it is, I will cry. I hate Tamra with all of my being. Yeah. And her, like, fake sobbing into her hand when she's, like, about to sign the divorce paper, I find it so artificial.

Yeah. It's probably for the cameras to be shown to the judge when she wants custody. I'm just going to assume. Look at me being all cynical and realistic. Wow. I like that. Because normally you're too Team Tamra. A little.

Well, I just, I'm Team Good Entertainment. Okay. I like that. Because normally you're two team Tamra. A little, well, I just, I'm team good entertainment. Okay. I'm also team candy too. But we won't get into that. No, we won't. We did that last week. Yeah.

I think we are reaching the one hour mark. Okay, well. The clock is ticking down. The clock is ticking down. Tapatha ends this week, season finale. Ratings have been flat

if not down. I don't think anybody cares that much. I still watch her. I started watching the season for the first time, so hey. I think Love Broker Ronnie, is that officially cancelled? No, they moved it to summer. That means it's going to be cancelled.

They're going to put it in, like when they had Chef Academy, they put it on at like 11.30 at night. Yeah, exactly. Although I did love Chef Academy, they'd put it on at, like, 11.30 at night. Yeah, exactly. Although I did love Chef Academy. Who didn't? Well, apparently Andy Cohen. And watch what happens this week.

It's actually had some good guests. Phaedra and Gigi were last night. We have, I believe, Shannon Doherty tonight. Tori Spelling later this week. Yeah, there's some good guests. And Kathy Griffin later this week. And we must also get excited for Kathy's new talk show. I'm very excited about that.

Very, very. I mean, she is the only one who tells it like it is. Yeah. She tells it more like it is than we tell it like it is. But will anybody even get to talk on that show? I don't think I've ever seen her share this thing with somebody who got to talk. Do we know what the format is going to be on that show? I think it's a talk show, pop culture, who the hell knows. Wine.

Maggie with wine. She'll let people talk. She was very good interviewing celebrities on her reality show when she was doing that. Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ronnie, do you have anything else? Well, I love me some Kathy Griffin. Everyone does. Who doesn't?

She's the only ginger ninja that I can handle. Yeah. Yeah. Good for her. Good for her for resurrecting her career in such a big way. So true. Okay, well, we need to wrap this up, you guys. Thank you again for all of our listeners for joining us.

Thank you to the Sideshow Network for helping us produce this. And we will definitely be back next week to talk more Shaz. Follow us on What Crappens on Twitter. What Crappens. And don't forget to follow us as individuals. Matt Whitfield is at Life on the M List. Everybody else, say yours. Ben Mandelker is B-Side Blog.

And I'm Flip It, and you can find me at TVgasm or at Flip It. Okay, well, everybody, don't forget to tune in next week. We will have lots to dish on, lots more gossip. Who the hell knows what's going to happen with this crazy reunion show that they're taping on Wednesday, but

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