Watch What Crappens - Bonus: Molly McAleer Plz Advise Crossover!

Episode Date: July 2, 2015

Welcome to a very special Watch What Crappens Bonus Episode Crossover with Plz Advise?s Molly McAleer! I have laughed my ass off whenever I?ve been around this girl, so with Ben out of town, it was the perfect time for a one on one rendezvous. Since this is a bonus, I didn?t want to go with the regular recap format. Instead, we?re doing a Crappens version of Molls? podcast Plz Advise with Bravolebrities in need of help. We had fun and hope you do, too! Thanks for the support! Find Molly on Twitter @Molls, check out her Plz Advise podcast, and buy her ebook ?The Alcoholic Bitch Who Ruined Your Life? on Amazon! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hello everybody and welcome to the Watch What Crappens. Very special bonus episode. It's me, Ronnie, here. You might notice something's different.

I'm all alone. I'm without Ben. My lovely, beautiful, thin, coiffed partner, Ben, is out of town. And something about being in a long-term relationship with... I mean, we're not fucking, but let's face it. This is the longest-term relationship I'm ever going to have. Something about being in a long-term relationship is that when you get that hall pass, you use it. So Ben is gone for a week, and I've had the chance this week to talk to some of the guests we've had on before

that I just really fell in love with and wanted to talk to more deeply. The first episode was Amy Phillips, who is the Housewives impersonator on Bravo, who's hysterical. So that was yesterday's episode. So check it out if you haven't heard it. Thursday's episode is going to be Stephanie Wilder-Taylor from the For Crying Out Loud podcast,

who's fantastic and hilarious. She's a great comic. We're going to have fun. And one of my all-time favorite guests has been Molly McAleer, who you know from the Please Advise podcast. I love her or Two Broke Girls or The Drunk Bitch That Ruined Your Life, the e-book, or at Malz on Twitter or Tumblr. She's everywhere, so I'm sure you already know who she is. I just wanted to give a little intro because I'm so thankful that I got the time to sit down with her today and laugh. This is not a typical character jokey joke podcast.

I actually wanted some real advice for these real issues that go on on Bravo. So anyway, thank you very much. These bonus episodes are usually posted on our premium subscriber feed at patreon.com slash watch what crappens that's patreon.com slash watch what crappens and subscribers you know whatever you donate whatevs you get the bonus episodes ringtones all that good stuff so those are going to continue the shows are always going to the main shows are always going to continue to be free for twice a week but just as a little thank you to all the people who support us non-monetarily, don't think that your support does not help us.

You guys, we have been rising up in the iTunes charts, and we're so excited. And basically, we're just very grateful for our lives at this moment. So I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you guys so much for all your support. I really hope you enjoy this bonus. And thank you so much, Molly McAleer, for enjoying your time with me as I enjoyed it with you. We had a great time and I cannot wait to have a drink with you

in real life. So please follow Molly at one day I will learn to talk or at least re-record my F-Ups. And until then, let's get on with the show. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is? Crap is. Crap is. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, What happens when there's so much that happens? It's a pleasure to have you.

It's a pleasure to have you. What happens when there's so much that happens? Hello, malls. Hey, boo. How you doing? I'm doing pretty good. How are you? I'm doing so good.

I'm really glad to talk to you. Ben is out of town, and I'm taking this chance to talk to all the people that I don't get one-on-one time with. Which BTW, I'm so happy you hit me up because I think all the time like, oh, I want to go back and talk about this. Like when I watch Real House Vibes, I'm like, who do I have? What is my venue where I can speak about these things? And I'm just like, I stalk you guys. I'm totally a huge fan now. I've been all up in your archives. You are always welcome to talk shit with us. You make us laugh so hard. I was sitting here the other night watching Stupid Real Housewives of Orange County.

And I was like, these bitches need therapy. And I immediately thought of you and was like, well, let's give them some. They do. Yes, thank you. And they do need therapy in a big way. Yeah, they They do. Yes. Thank you. And they do need therapy in a big way. Yeah, they really do. And my,

you know, Ben and I really like making fun of people and joking about them and stuff. But my advice is usually pretty terrible. And especially when it comes to women, like I'm not a woman, I know women and that's pretty much all I talk to. But still, it's much better to get it straight from a woman every once in a while,

because I get a little bit derailed by my own man brain. You know what? The most important thing with advice is to just keep it real. All right. Keep it real as POS. Yeah, well, let's do it. So today we're doing a crossover, so we're going to be talking Bravo,

but we're going to be doing it mall style. So we sent out a tweet to the um you know the bravo people on bravo in general just to see who needed some free advice and um we just got a few recorded answers so uh you want to just go ahead or is there anything generally therapy wise that you would like to talk about first no i think we should just get into it all right let's do it yeah i don't do a pre-interview i'll be like oh bruce jenner what do you think about pantsuits like i would have opened yeah okay uh let me see here who we've got first okay um first it looks like we've got ramona from new york city so we'll just go ahead and play the clip oh okay hi there malls this is ramona i know you might not recognize my voice because i'm new

and everything's new and everything's wonderful because mario's gone now but i'm fine i really don't care because divorce is fine i don't care he's on tinder who cares i mean dating i'm dating everything's great i've got a new business. Everything's renewed. The trouble is my friend Sonia, who is drinking, and people are saying I'm enabling her. And I don't even know what that means because I put a glass of water by her bed when she goes to sleep. Please advise.

Okay. So there was a lot there. You want to go with drunkenness, enabling, or divorcing and finding your husband on twitter or tinder um i think well let's start let's start with the tinder issue okay i think that the tinder issue jumps out at me as something that's just like i would say that's a sign of a much bigger problem. From what I know about you, Ramona, in the past, you know, you have seemed to have questions about, you know, even in just, you know, just in that letter, it seemed like you have questions about where you're at in this new stage of your life. You're new. We know this. Yes. Now, but like, what does that mean for you?

new stage of your life you're new we know this yes now but like what does that mean for you and i think that even in your newness you might looking back a little bit at the past and focusing on it and trying to understand why all the past wasn't in the new right oh yeah all right but i think she needs to kind of drop this is i i would take this tinder thing as a sign that you are moving in the right direction towards newville do not do not go back to mario land no returns so when people get divorced and they're you know in the older stage of life or whatever i mean they're not old but you know like later middle age or whatever and their kids at college um do you so you you think it would be like kind of a waste of time to even keep trying because she keeps having him over she keeps mentioning like she's taking to go stuff for mario do i think that that's what? Like healthy. Do you think it's healthy for her? No, I think it's completely unhealthy. Yeah, it's just pure bad.

At the same time, I only think that's unhealthy because of the place Mario seems to be in his life right now. He's flip-flopping a lot. One minute, he misses Ramona and he wants to be with her and it's a mistake. And the next thing, we're finding out that he is on Tinder. The only reason why I think it's a mistake

for her to have a relationship with him right now is because he's still going through it. He's still flailing. And in a way, someone like him, he's going to need to hit rock bottom to be comfortable going back to her. He's going to need to have spun out far enough, gotten to how bad being a 50- year old single man dating 20 year old girls, how bad that can be. And then he'll, then he'll be humble enough and, and aware of what he had enough that he can be faithful to Ramona. So until, until he's in that place, no dinners, you don't bring him dinners.

You don't have them in your home. You don't bring him dinners. You don't have him in your home. Amen. You don't host that behavior. I've actually known a few women now who actually are trying to wait the middle-age crisis out. They're like, oh, well, he's just going through a phase. He'll come back. And then years pass, and it's like, girl, get out of there. Stop waiting around. I mean, but that's really really that's always about the person

that's not about you know what i mean like she's waiting that out it's because she can't deal with what's ahead of her you know and it is it's a big thing to tackle and what do you think about the whole enabling your friend if people think that you're if do you think that sonia has an alcohol problem because i can't really tell I mean I've known people like that and unless they're like stealing money out of my purse or you know I don't know right I mean here's the thing is the reason why I think okay Sonia doesn't drink all the time she doesn't drink every day you know she uh maybe she doesn't drink every day I don't know the things to me that seem like

an alcoholic is the fact that she's blacking out regularly the fact that she can at times when she drinks have a major personality shift yeah and the fact that when she's drunk you know she can get very out of control of her own being like Like she, you know, flirts with men she wouldn't flirt with. She falls asleep at bars apparently. Like, you know, she has to be carried home. Like those are signs of someone, you should not be getting carried home multiple times a week at the age of, after, after the age of 25, if you're being carried home multiple times a week, there's something wrong. Yeah.

And that's actually generous. Yeah. 25. I mean, I think I probably went to like 32 the last time. But still, I mean, I'm too old for that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Agreed.

So do you think that she needs like intervention type things or do you think it's just a fake do you think in other words is she like a disease alcoholic or is she a phase alcoholic you know what i mean i think it is i think it's a phase but i also it's important to know that there is a phase and you can like cut that you can stop it like if you recognize that you're in the phase and you can stop it, then you don't, you're probably not an alcoholic. But if you can't stop it, then it's not a phase. And there is a middle phase. Like your drinking progresses. You know, you don't start out an alcoholic. You don't like, you're not, you know, addiction can be in your DNA. But like a lot of people build up this alcoholism over a series of many, many years abusing alcohol. And if you'll remember, Sonya got a DUI in the Hamptons in 2010.

I did not remember actually. Yeah. And so that goes back on how far, I mean, cause I Googled it when I, when I thought, Oh, maybe she's gotten a DUI before. And she has, because to me, I would say if you're drinking to excess five years after getting a DUI, I would, I honestly, I think that that shows that you're not learning a lesson. Well, in her defense, I'll say it must be very difficult to be Sonia and have to drive yourself. She was probably like, this sucks. No, and I know also too i should point out it's new york is like a den of sin like it's just a den of sin like when i go there i go

on a bender every single time oh god i do too when when you don't have to walk any i mean when you don't have to drive anywhere and it's just walking and everything's open till four well it used to be up until four it's isn't it still no i think they changed it till two in the morning a couple years ago like we did like we've got here yeah in our nice sleepy town of la that's not full of sin at all when i was in new york a few months ago i think it was still four but um yeah it's just not good my friend it's not that's not good. I feel like New York is so good for nighttime debauchery, and LA is more like daytime.

It's like more daytime meth use here. That's right. All right, so let's move on to our next one. Thank you, Ramona from New York. Thanks, Ramones. Next call. Hi there. This is Catherine from Charleston. I just wanted to call and first of all say, don't leave me, Molly. Don't leave me. Also, in my friend circle, I have slept with

three different friends and also dug a hole next to a person on a beach that I slept next to. And I ended up getting pregnant by the older one. But we fight a lot. Is it safe to just move on to one of the other ones? Please advise. Oh, wow. Wow, Catherine, that is quite the improvement. You know what?

I have to say, I think that it is within your bounds to date someone in said friend group. After the end of your relationship, you have a child with this man. You know, if his friends are interested in going for it, I wouldn't worry. I mean, it's more of a question about his friend's loyalty to him. Because you don't really need to give him. He's not a priority in terms of loyalty. Yeah, that's true. And he's already skipping child support payments and stuff, right?

Oh, I'm sure. That's what she was saying on the reunion. $2,500 a month is the max that the state of South Carolina will allow, which is bullshit. That is crazy. Wait, what's the amount again? $2,500. What? He said, I want to give you the maximum

that I'm giving you the maximum that the state of Charleston or the state of South Carolina will allow, which I thought was like, I guess I could see maybe in some small like southern town or like, you know, whatever. I could see that maybe there in some states there might be laws about child support to protect like rich assholes who get a bunch of people pregnant and then have to pay child support for all of them. I could see there being a max. But I mean, Thomas Ravenel is worth millions.

He is worth millions. When you have a plantation that was basically built on, literally on the backs of slaves. No, I know. We were talking about that the other day. He's definitely from slave owners. Oh, yeah.

Well, in the first reunion, I remember when Andy mentioned that. He said, you know, there's been some backlash about how you're on a plantation. It built by slaves blah blah blah your your family members you know we're on the wrong side of the civil war and he said well we were anti-civil war but that was just because we didn't want to see people get killed right okay you guys were melting your gates into bullets okay so that doesn't really hold up but anyway different ish but while we're on child support brandy was fired

from real housewives recently and she went on the howard stern today and one of the things she was talking about was child support that she she before she became famous eddie cheated on her left whatever had to pay her child support and then once she got famous he turned around and said that she owed him child support and was trying to charge him like back child support and stuff oh shit what do you think about that because the world's getting a little topsy-turvy as far as men and women's roles in a relationship. I mean, they're just not real people to me. Like, I feel that someone like Brandy and what's his name, Eddie,

I feel like they're just not, like, I feel they're just petty people. So, like, I'm not sure that that's a scenario that would happen in most situations do i think that i think that he's married to a very wealthy woman and for him to be um squeezing nickels and dimes out of his ex out of his ex-wife who he cheated on um who would definitely probably still be with him if he hadn't cheated on her um I think that that's just wrong. Yeah, it's gross. And while she was pregnant, too. So I guess you can't expect a whole lot of class out of that guy.

No, exactly. And not just to, you know, additionally, it's like, if Brandy has money now, Brandy's pulling in, like, you know million dollars a year maybe she that's that is for the rest of her life like that's right yeah brandy's not going to be employable in 10 years so god i wish we had had you on to give that advice a couple years ago when she was first on there because she went crazy spending she's like look at my new house on the hills look at my jag or whatever she was driving it's like oh no no no she moved the season of beverly hills started with her moving into a lease yeah she's

yeah um yeah that's so expensive and apparently she moved several times this year which is very expensive yeah she said she moved several times this year, which is very expensive. Yeah, she said she moved six times in five years. And one of the other things she told him was, yeah, you know, I got fired. I'm broke. I'm being screwed over by my ex-husband. And my Latin boyfriend cheated on me. It's like 2009 all over again.

Oh, no. You better hope so, because that was actually not a bad year considering like it got 2009 was the worst year in recorded history 2009 yeah like in general in america or for her specifically i don't remember what was happening thank you 2009 was the worst year ever if people are listening to this in 2009, they were a victim of the year 2009, tweet at me, at Malz, and just tell me. Because I promise you, you will be shocked. 2009 was not a good – it was like spiritually bad. Like some planets must have been in some weird alignment back then. It might have been.

I feel like it was like that for a long time. I thought it was just my mid thirties. What the hell is going on? Everything's depressing. Everyone's gross. Hiding inside. Like that's when I, I guess that's officially when I was like,

bye world. And I just started staying in my house. Yeah, that's good. I always like a recluse moment. You know, it's not because you don't get alone time anyway. You end up just stuck with the people who are around you, and they're just as bad. You might as well just go have fun.

Pretty damn true, my friend. No offense to anybody who's around me. Nobody. No offense, Buells. No offense. Okay, so this question comes from Heather from New York City. Okay. Hi, mamas.

Step off the curb. You're on fleek. I am having a problem with my sister girls because they are offended because of my urban speak. They think I'm too old to be speaking urban, as they say, which I guess means black. I didn't know that that was something that you had to be born with.

The end. What do you think, Mama? Give me a holler. Are you hungry? I'll make you some mac and cheese. Bye. So, is it something you're born with? Because one of the things I've really, I mean, obviously, you're born with because one of the one of the things i've really i mean

obviously you're born with your skin color i'm not stupid but one of the things i've been reading in all the gay marriage brouhaha which god i wish someone got gay married on here so we could talk about that but one of the things i've been reading in all the comment wars about that is really conservative people saying well why are people are people mad at this Rachel Dolenzal girl? You know, if she is just living her inside and her inside is a black woman, then why is that any different from Caitlyn Jenner? Like, why is why are we supposed to be OK with one thing and not OK with another thing? That's the most ignorant. Yeah, that's like the famous ignorant argument right now, but it's just like,

it's not, it's look, the thing with Heather is it's not a racial issue. It's really with Heather. It doesn't come down to race for me, for Heather. It's like this, this is not natural to you.

This is something that you have accumulated over time and put together carefully in order to hopefully someday adopt this persona, which you have successfully done. This was something that took you a long time to start speaking like that. Everyone knows it because it's just not natural when it comes out of you. You seem like a joke. You're like an older white woman who grew up in the Berkshires. But however, so that just sounds insincere. Like when she speaks, it just sounds insincere. It's that big smile and calling everyone mama. Hi, mama.

It's so annoying. I was watching an old episode the other day and she goes um she's talking to aviva okay and she goes come on avivi come on boo boo come on mama mama you get it avivi like cool like you are not some millennial like like, experimenting with your girls' nicknames. Like, that's weird. It is weird. And she seems to have, like, two battling personalities going on because she's got kind of, like, her urban P. Diddy.

Hey, mamas. But then she's got that, like, you can't be P. Diddy and Donna Reed at the same time. You've got to be. No, I know. She also wants to take you into her breast and just hold you. Yeah. She wants to hold you on her bosom and allow you to cry and she'll make you feel good and feed you. Yeah.

Well, she, you know, that woman's a conundrum because she wants to hold you close to her breast and make you feel warm and comfortable while she tells you you're a piece of shit. and make you feel warm and comfortable while she tells you you're a piece of shit. Because she doesn't really, like, I don't know if you've noticed, but whenever she does that with somebody, she's not telling them, your feelings are valid, you're going to be okay, this is going to work out. That never comes out of her mouth. It's always like, oh, well, you know, here's what you need to do. And it's always some advice, like like completely change your personality and you'll be okay right i'm not really ever sure with her but with the rachel dolan's all thing i am kind of

curious about that and i think it does kind of match up here even though heather's thing i agree isn't really about race she is kind of the og rachel dolezal though like i mean i think heather I think Heather's trying to subtly pass for a black woman in many ways because I think that she admires that quality in others because it's warm and inviting when she like, well, you know, I'm sure that's how I'm sure that's how Tina Knowles spoke to her. Okay. When they were doing Kelsey Darion. to her okay when they were doing calcidarian and i feel like she because she liked that and because heather is a is uh desperate to be liked and probably never really had much of a personal voice uh i think that she probably just started mimicking that yeah you know she's really an obnoxious person most of the time but uh and when she first came on the show we both ben and i both said she'll be a bitch like give her give

her a season but i don't she's not a bitch in the same way like a lot of these a lot of the people on these shows especially housewives you know they get paid to go at each other and start these stupid fights and one of the most annoying things about Brandy was her just making shit up because there was nothing going on in her life to fight about. And I don't feel like Heather does that, really. I mean, I guess that people could argue she's doing that this season with Bethany, like she's trying to make this her storyline. But I actually kind of feel for her because I feel like she's genuine and she was really

trying to be friends with Bethany and really doesn't understand why she's not liked, you know? Here's the thing is that I think that Heather knew she needed to have some lightning rod interaction with Bethany. Because Bethany is, you know, they don't bring back someone and pay her a million dollars to, like, not be the star of the show so immediately they all probably were like fuck we gotta film with her because especially like heather and kristin they have no home like they have no home team advantage here like they were not ever on the show with her before so i think that kristin has been going after i think heather started going in syrupy sweet you know bethany had had her on her show before you know people it's really easy to like someone when all they've done is help your career um but when bethany

wasn't insta friends with her because i think bethany has you know that thing that people who are who very quickly get wealthy and famous have which is they're just shell-shocked. They're so fucking freaked. And Bethany is so fucking freaked. Like, she can't... When she was saying to Ramona at the pool on this last episode, like, you're manic. Like, you're manic.

Like, that is a person who has learned a lot about their feelings in the last couple years, who is self-aware enough enough to say this is your energy and this is why it makes me uncomfortable so when heather was not was getting the warm fuzzy bethany that she thought she would get and instead she just went the other she went the other way so she's like if you're not going to be my friend then i guess you have to be my enemy. Yeah, because I think she's taking Bethany's abrasive behavior as an enemy move, whereas Bethany doesn't think like that. I mean, when Carol sat with her, I'm sure you watched a couple weeks ago, but when Carol sat down with her for dinner and she's like, I got to be honest with you. I totally ratted on you to Heather and I told her that, or to Kristen, and I told her all this stuff about you.

And then Bethany's like, oh, I don don't care you know yeah she didn't even care then when carol told her you've got two modes you're either sobbing on the floor you're really tense and bethany was just like ha ha that's true that is me good you know good call so she's just more she'll put things on the table and people like heather don't really know how to deal with it yeah and you can see with her husband i mean god bless that guy you know it's like the man who sees all the good in his woman even though she makes it so difficult sometimes for other people i know i he is so sweet jonathan is that his name i think it is yeah because a lot of husbands on this show i mean they just look they'll like look right into the camera. Like they're taking their Tinder pic. Like they'll look right in it just because they know they're going to get one good still to cheat on their wife later. You just know they're getting ready to run, you know? Amen.

But him, not at all. I don't get that at all. You know, he's like, well, you know, Bethany, she really just wanted to give you some mac and cheese because that's how that's how moms love their children. You know, carbs, fast feeding, gross, asleep on the ground. Can't take it. Get out. Please stop. Can I say, though, that Dorinda Medley is my favorite person of all time. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever

dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some.

As a fighter for Black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. We're in love with her on this show. She is the most classy. Just just like she just kills it like she just kills it like she brings all this class and sophistication but like at the same time she's like

you don't fuck with her because she's really smart and she like defends things like i'm like a tiger like i just i really love her well i didn't watch last night's episode yet because i have to wait kind of till right before we record because um marijuana legalization so i usually wait but i've been reading comments and stuff online about it and people are saying oh she finally had her you know her turning point where the bitch bloom blossomed or whatever what happened i think that she what she had was a negative reaction to what she perceived to be heather's behavior oh she yelled at heather yeah and and she just was like she basically it was a misunderstanding where like jorinda said like hey heather wait up and then i don't know what it was

that heather did but heather did something that was not that and then all of a sudden they got into a huge like thing where just jorinda's just like back at the fuck up back at the fuck up oh i love that i can't wait to watch that but yeah the favorite moments this season and jorinda doesn't have like a huge storyline and blah, blah, blah. But just her attitude on life is so great. And I love that she's not fake. I love that she'll just have a breakdown if she needs to and then she's done, you know? Yeah. And I also love that her class is so, like when you're saying she's so classy and sophisticated,

she's very like Carmela Soprano sophisticated, you know? Yeah. She's like, it's a blue room so it's kind of I guess I'm trying to say maybe an accessible sophistication where it's not really trying too hard it's like I've got money in my house is blue because that's what I wanted a blue house and I got it like Sonia's line it's affordable luxury you know uh but how you listen to her podcast right sonia's no i've never listened to it honey i need everyone to stop what they're doing then come back to us later you have to go listen to sonia morgan's podcast tell me tell me tell me tell me everything bananas okay well one of the episodes on she had um the intern queen this woman, Lauren Bergen or something.

And she basically talked about what it is her interns do. She talked about pickles. She talked about all of them, what it is they like. Is pickles still alive? Pickles is still alive. Because I have pickles like under Sonia's bed. And Sonia's just using her parts for like vacuum cleaners and shit. No, I know.

Sonya's just using her parts for like vacuum cleaners and shit. No, I know one of the opossums that lives in the rafters could have jumped down and sucked pickles blood dry. But, um, as soon as she can sell that house without losing all the money to the courts, she needs to sell that house.

Like that is keeping up a house like that is several people's full-time job oh my god that was a mess when they got there did you read that housewife article that came out yesterday that's the five it came out on bravo tv and it was the it was producer secrets of the five big secrets that have happened on real housewives that we didn't see right now it is so good it's so funny real housewives of new york really is hilarious um but one of the things they were well they talked about two things one was aviva they went to the marriott marquee for some housewife event you know that they were shooting at and aviva had to go up an escalator to get to the next floor and started screaming and yelling that the escalator

was going to rip off her leg and she she refused and had a public meltdown. That was one thing that was amazing. And then the other thing, they had a lot of New York stuff. They talked about when Luann, well, we'll talk about Luann later because I think she made a voicemail. And then they talked about Sonia, how one of her first episodes was when she had the girls over and her toilet was overflowing. And then she blamed

all of the crew for doing it. And the crew was blaming all the interns because she has so many interns. Oh my god. How are you going to sell that house? That's the thing. What agent is going to be able to sell it? She had interns when the show started?

I'm not... I don't even remember when that toilet overflowing thing happened. Because in the first season, Sonia didn't really do anything. Luann was like, oh, this is my friend Sonia. She throws parties sometimes. And then we went to Sonia's house and Sonia was really shy. And she's like, oh, hi. Yeah, this is where I keep my box of ribbon.

You know, and she had like weird boxes everywhere. And it was weird weird but she was nothing like she is now and then the second year she came back just nuts oh and i think that they talked about that gay pride thing too where she where she had a breakdown and refused to do the gay pride parade because she wasn't the only uh chief what do they call that uh the um oh god grand marshal oh the grand marshal yeah because alex mccord is also grand marshal yeah anyway getting off sub but uh yeah she needs to sell that house but i don't see how she's going to do it because there's so much footage of how shitty it is i mean the walls bleed in that house like there's nothing okay about that house i know

it's sad the only thing that the house really has, there's nothing okay about that house. I know. It's sad. The only thing that the house really has going for it is it's a phenomenal piece of real estate. It really is. Like, it would have to be probably gutted, but it's really, really like a special location and size. And you don't get that in New York ever. Yeah. Okay. and you don't get that in New York ever. Yeah. Okay, let's move on to the next call because I'll just keep talking about articles I've been reading on the internet

since that's all I ever do. I just found it, by the way. This whole, it's a Real Housewives of New York City 100 episodes thing. They have all these clips and stuff. This is really interesting. Thank you for telling me about this. Oh my God, you're going to love it.

Though, they also, I think they're doing it because that show Unreal became so unpopular which i'm in love with we talked about that a little um before we started recording but i love that show so much it's so important to me like it just really is so important to me and it's such a defining moment like because it's really educating people the girl who wrote it really or the woman who wrote it, I'm the worst with that. I'm from Texas, sorry. But the woman who wrote it used to work in reality TV. So she's, I mean, I'm hoping loosely basing it because last night they had somebody changing out pills to make somebody crazier.

And I mean, God, I hope they don't go that far. Yeah, no, I don't think so but it makes you wonder and uh anyway the reason it made me feel uh the reason it reminded me of this article was because the Luann section is so good they were talking about when they were on vacation was it last year or two years ago that she cheated on Jacques with that pirate guy? Mm-hmm. And no one knew that they were taping because Heather and Carol were new. And they were whispering in a corner thinking that they weren't shooting because there were no cameras.

And so the people on mic heard them saying, oh, yeah, Luann brought home a guy last night. And they're like, oh, really? Where'd she do him? So they were talking about all this stuff. and they're like oh really where'd he do it you know where'd she do him so we're talking about all this stuff and then so one of the producers ran to Luann and said hey you better watch out because these girls are talking about the fact and they're going to bring it up on camera even though they weren't like from the article it seems like they were whispering about it to keep it secret right so some producer went and fucked with it and told Luann so Luann also thinking they weren't filming like not learning her lesson at all

went and got on the phone and thought she was speaking in private well no they have like long range lenses so they were yeah they were getting the whole thing and recording the call and she told them oh god this is bad how bad is it tell me as my friend should i call jacques should i call jack i'm like yes call jack wow it's good right that is good that's real good love it okay you don't need to read it look i saved your eyes thanks hon okay um next we're gonna move over to new jersey this comes from someone named Joe in the city of Franklin Lakes. So, yeah, I was like, I was going to call, but then I was like, so what? Who cares? What would I call?

That's dumb. But then I was like, shit, you know, it's like my wife's in jail and I got all these kids around. How how's one guy supposed to how's one guy supposed to raise all these girls? Give me some advice joe now where you really need to turn to your family this is oh wait hold on one segundo it cut off for one second so what what was the beginning of your answer for Joe? I was just saying that, Joe, I think that during a time like this, it's really important that you turn to family.

And it might be a good time to reconcile the relationship with your sister, sister's brother and his wife, because I think that they are familiar people in the children's lives. And putting your pride before your children's well-being is never the right thing to do. A single dad, it is very difficult to raise four little girls, especially with the busy lifestyle that they all have with like all their activities and everything and you know they're used to home-cooked meals this is something that you you can't do it all by yourself if you're not used to it you're not going to be able to learn overnight so call on your family and uh that is

some beautiful sane advice and if this were any other radio show i would totally agree but you know if he turns those kids over to melissa gorga for even like a weekend theresa is gonna have his nets oh no i know she will kill him you know because like then they won't be quiet about it either and that's the worst part is like i always i like melissa okay i'm taught i totally pull for her team that really means something because i was a big theresa fan and totally pull for her team. Not really mean something. So it was a big Teresa fan and I fought for her to be right for a long time. But Melissa is adorable. Unfortunately,

she has that thing. Like the same thing as, Oh, you missed it this week, but the girls made a pact, not just talk shit about each other on the island this week. Good luck with that. I know, right? And they broke it

within 30 seconds of making the pact. Of course. Melissa Gorga has that as well. So she would never just quietly watch the children, which is what I think is Teresa's biggest problem. Yeah, she would come back and she'd be like, honey, they'd be like, mommy.

Teresa would kill her. Yes. And it looks like our last question for the day, this is actually a really good one. This comes from Ashley, who is also in Jersey. Oh, Ashley.

Hi. I'm just calling because I really like listening to your show, and I really like things about feministism. And my mom's always telling me to be a stronger woman, but, I mean, what is a feminist? Like, I'm working for my cousin, and, I mean, yes, I still live with my mom, but I'm not married yet and i'm really interested in starting a sticker business so i just need a little guidance i'm not really sure what feministism

is anymore okay i think that's a good question the rule the rules of feminism have changed because of bravo how would you. How would you describe the modern feminist? I mean, what? You know what? I'm sorry to spring that on you, but I've had to ask a woman that. You know, I've talked to so many women and I've never asked them, how has Bravo affected feminism? It needs to be discussed. Damn it.

I mean, look, you know, feminism is an equality between the sexes. I think that a lot of men have been making asses of themselves on television for a really long time. And women now have the opportunity to do that as well. Okay, more specifically then, what do you think about... Okay, when I was growing up, feminism, the way I was taught it, and I was not taught it in my home. So what I learned about it outside of my home was just kind, but the women in the workplace thing was a huge issue in the 80s because that's when women really started going to work and men were freaking out and the family values and blah, blah, blah. And then now it's turned into men complaining that they're emasculated. On one side, you've got like white Caucasian men complaining that they're like a minority now, which is hilarious.

And then you've got women on Bravo whose life seems to be built around like bagging a rich old guy so they don't ever have to work. So I'm curious as to like what, because I would consider you a feminist because everything I've heard you say is very girl power and it is all very equal. I don't ever really hear you criticizing people based on kind of stereotypical male and female roles oh yeah i know and so i'm just kind of interested because it disgusts me like if you've ever heard me go off which i think i do every week but it makes me crazy seeing women freak out about losing a rich man and then worrying about when they're going to get their next job, which is a rich man. What do you think? Is that just part of being equal to? Should they get their shit together or should they just should everything remain the same? Like, where would you

like to see it go? OK, I will say this. A counterpoint to that is that I do think it's you know, it is interesting to see how many of these Real Housewives have chosen to enterprise with their newfound fame. Like, Sonia's not actively trying to get a new rich husband. She is like trying to, you know, start a toaster line and she's dating younger guys. She knows she's not going to marry. And yes, you know, I do think that there is something nice about that. What I think this almost does is just it creates an unrealistic portrait of like, what life situations are supposed to look like. And I think that that has more of a reflection on our society. I think that it's like also been long viewed that that like people who are on reality television shows fall into the category of like other like they are not male or female. They are the person type of person who would appear on a reality television show.

That's true. It's like the gays on Bravo. You can't be mad because it's not it's not gays, gay people they're representing necessarily. It's just Bravo clowns. Exactly. Exactly. And what was the show we were talking about? Was it Gallery Girls?

Yeah. We were talking about one show where we were like, that is the antidote to everything. Maybe it's how Southern Charm is like the antidote to everything. No, it was something that got canceled. Gallery. How was it the antidote? And I'll remember.

I'll remember. To all the stuff that's like that woman-hating, fighting, crazy shit. Oh, God. You know, there have been a couple of them that I've really thought were going to do that. Yeah. One was Blood, Sweat, and Heals. I don't know if you've ever watched that. That's on Bravo.

And the first year, it was like, look at all these beautiful, strong black women who it's not about their men. And it's not about them starting stupid fights. They've all got careers and jobs and ambitions. And that's what this is about. And so that show started out like, let's have a women's, you know, a women empowerment lunch. And it's like, you know, women would get together it was like you know women would get together and i don't know be power be empowered or whatever and then it slowly but surely once that was getting boring it turned into like fightsville um yeah i'm trying to think what else gallery girls i guess was like that because we never really cared about the men on Gallery Girls, right? Except Chanel.

Oh, my God. How could I say that? I'm an idiot. Chanel's whole, like, I've got to get married to a man or I'm a loser. I'm 25 and I'm not married. So that was kind of an antidote to that, I guess. That's true. That's true. I love Ladies of London, and I also liked Misadvised.

Oh, let us discuss then. Okay, I don't have questions from any of those ladies, but I saw one of the Misadvised cast members at another podcast that we're friends with. They don't like being called a mommy podcast, but they're called for crying out loud and they're really great. And they do, you know, they talk about women, womanly things.

And we went one night and they had Emily from that show on. Oh, love it. Who has a podcast. Do you listen to her podcast? I have. So that was super interesting. I wanted to come home and just talk about women's stuff all night because I had a lot of the questions she was getting.

I was disagreeing with her answers. And I'm curious as to how she was on that show. Were they like big, strong women or were they just depending on a man? Emily was the closest to that. The show's premise is that it's three women who are dating experts in some capacity. One was a matchmaker. One was a dating slash sex columnist and then the other one was uh emily and um she was definitely like the confident cool like maybe into like a polyamorous thing like like threesomes. Like that was like her thing. That's why she couldn't find a guy was because she has this like open sex life where it's just, I don't know.

That was her deal. Oh, okay. That makes sense. So, and then there was a matchmaker in New York who like basically was like a slightly modernized version of like the rules was her thing and um she wound up like i mean all of these girls had serious issues with eating too like this one girl like never the girl in new york never ate and if she did it like she would like make fun of some some guys she went on a date with ate a chicken pot pie and she like couldn't even believe that even on cheat day

someone might eat a chicken pot pie like six years i i can't like she couldn't process it it was wild like i've never seen an adult lack the full-blown at least if you're like most of the time if you're anorexic you at least know you should be embarrassed and that's not how you think like that's not how you are like are supposed to move around the world thinking but literally be so puzzled by the concept of eating a chicken pot pie but it's just it's so special uh and then in la it was julia allison who used to live in new york um and she was a kind of a gawker liberty like she was like the first person that gawker Media pushed up and was like, check out this ridiculous person. And she just didn't get any work done.

She was supposed to write a dating column. And she wrote one 700-word column in two months. Emily was pretty interesting. Yeah, she didn't look like she ate very much she had a really like well I almost said great figure I don't know I don't know what I'm even supposed to say because part of me was like she's too skinny but that's rude but I don't know she didn't eat very much but the thing that really um kind of shocked me about her advice was when you have a show called sex with Emily and it's to help women specifically sexually.

The questions were from women about like one of them was the one that really made me crazy. OK, I'll just focus on that. One of them was this lady saying, hey, look, I'm I've been married for a couple of years. I'm young. We're totally in love. My husband's great. I've gained a lot of weight since we got married. Like, I just keep eating and gaining a ton of weight.

And my husband has never said anything. He's never had any problems sexually, really, with it. But recently, he did say something, but he said it in such a nice, supportive way. My question is, should I be mad? The whole time. What? I thought that was the weirdest question and her answer was um you know men have to understand that a woman's sexuality comes a woman's sexuality is based so much on her emotions that if she's not happy or if she's feeling insecure then it's going to be worse for him sexually in the long run. So he needs to worry about how to take care of you emotionally.

And I guess it bugged me because the guy answer would be, and this is a guy who dates guys, okay? So I've literally had this answer. And that is, yeah, you know, I started dating you at one weight and then you're like letting yourself go. And it's unattractive because I'm attracted to people who take care of themselves. Now, that's never been my response to anybody because I don't give a shit. But when I've dated other people who do and I start one way and then end another, as I do in every relationship, they kind of freak out.

What do you think about that? I don't think that's okay. To say for the guy. Well, if the guy asked, but not if, I don't know. How would you address it if you were the guy? Maybe advise the guy. Advise the guy. I think that she did.

I really do think that he did the right thing. It sounds like if he said it in the nicest, supportive way possible, that he is essentially trying. He probably spent a lot of time putting that thought together, which means that he has been thinking about how to approach you for a while. And it's not because you're fat. It's because you're the weight you have gained. Because I bet if she was sassy and confident and wanted to have sex and like was into it and loved herself like he would fuck her no matter what her size but like ultimately he realizes the weight gain has made her insecure that's now having an

effect on their sex life and um yeah like it is true that when you feel uncomfortable with your body like you don't want to get naked for a person. I, so I, I, I just, I think that he was, he said the right thing,

which was just, this is what's going on. And, and this is, I know you've been, I mean, I'm sure she's vocal. Women are never not vocal about feeling overweight.

So I'm sure she was vocal. And when he said something or she's, you know, when he said something, he probably felt it was the right time because of something she had said or something that he had observed. Yeah. You never want to see your loved one go through a hard time. And you always want to see your loved one be their best. Yeah.

Weight is my is is like my life issue, you know. And so I'm up and down all the time, like 100 pounds in a year. I'll go up or down 100 pounds within a year. And I've done it multiple times. My Facebook looks like a skin accordion. Like it looks like an evolution chart of the skin accordion. It's ridiculous.

So I get it. And I'm not suggesting that he should say like, you're fat and you need to lose weight. I'm not saying he should be like a queen I date. I'm just saying it was right of him to say something and she shouldn't have been mad, basically. She should not have been mad. Okay, yeah, cool. I agree.

She shouldn't have been mad. No. But not because, like, I'm into physically fit people and I started dating a physically fit person and I want to keep dating a physically fit person. I would get concerned if the love didn't grow. Yeah. Yeah, the weight gain or loss generally has something to do with your mental state, good or bad. You don't gain weight by yourself. Good or bad.

You don't gain weight by yourself. Like, if you guys, you know, if you are in a relationship and you're happy and you're eating out more and you're having cocktails, you're drinking, your social calendar has doubled because you know of his stuff to do too. You're going to be out eating and consuming food and enjoying it. And so the whole time she was putting on weight, he was right there by her side. Yeah. In some capacity. Like, he was there with her when she was making unhealthy choices over and over and over again oh my god it sucks for women all my friends that obsess about weight with me because that's my hobby like we'll be friends on my fitness pal

so we can like each other's calorie you know like when i give a shit one month a year i'll go on the on the wall and see and we'll just obsess over each other's calories and every little thing and i always feel so bad for them because their calorie count is so much lower than a guy's you guys don't get to eat anything well i mean what do your friends put it at like 1200 or 1500 they're in between 12 and 15 yeah i mean 15 is considered average for weight loss. 12 is if you're really trying to, if you're going hardcore. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, women, men just lose weight faster. Women don't really, the luxury, like, a woman is so much less likely to be able to do that accordion body that you mentioned. Because it's, and I worked with someone who did that for a while, where he would just like – he could just shed 70 pounds and then like slowly put it back on again.

And that – if a woman gained 100 pounds and then lost it right away, there's no way that that wouldn't have crazy effects on like her boobs and like the way she looks in a bathing suit and like her cellulite on her left. Oh, it affects men like that too. Trust me. My body, it looks like I'm wearing a skin suit that's two sizes big. Right, right, right. Like I'm definitely going to have to save up some money and get, maybe I'll start a crowdfunding thing like to get a body lift one day. Yeah, I think that's fun.

Yeah, if actually, can we do that together? Because I have like a couple things that just need to be lifted listen real friends body lift together okay okay real friends help each other afford body lifts they can't afford and that is your final piece of advice for the day people real friends help each other get electric surgery elective surgery all right let's wrap it up. Do you have any generals to get out there? I'm a full human, and I loved doing this with you today.

I love talking to you. Please. Okay, I'll look for somewhere rent-controlled in Glendale, or we'll just have to find somewhere kind of in the middle that we both like to go to. Okay, that sounds fabulous. Are you drinking right now or not drinking? Because when I listen to your show, I can't tell because sometimes you weren't, sometimes you weren't.

Oh, in life? Yeah. I don't always drink when I podcast. So a lot of please advises I'm not drunk. No. Oh, no, no, no. I mean, in real life, in real life. Oh, no, I'm drinking socially right now like i

mean i don't drink at home anymore but um if i go out yeah like i'll have a couple drinks oh okay good well yeah i was just asking because drinking that's like a common hobby we can always have well here's the thing my friend i got I got my weed card. Oh, nice. Yeah, it was like, I got it a month ago. And it just is like, my best friend and I feel like we have like sacks of Halloween candy. Like, we're just like, oh, okay. Like, it's like, we feel like we just came into like some serious money, man. So, um.

Maybe not tell people about that because you're about to be making mule runs for everybody. Everybody's going to be like, can you use your car to get me a thing? And now there's like all these apps to tell people what the weed is. Like you can order on a menu. Have you seen those yet? Yeah. So people get really specific. They're like, could you go get me a brownie about the caramel flavored with the chocolate chip on top?

And then I need this strain and only if it's from this date i'm like are you fucking kidding me marking that shit up though i welcome that as long as i can put on a markup oh no my parents got me scared of jail i went to one of those things that dr phil took kids to where he's like you're gonna straighten up you're gonna be giving two slow jobs to this immigrant you know you went to one oh yeah my parents sent me to like a two-day camp thing. My parents sent me to all sorts of shit. They sent me to a Christian

camp every year. They sent me to a weight loss camp. They sent me to a sex ed camp. A Christian sex ed camp. Were they trying to de-gay you? I don't think... My parents were like floored when I was gay,

which was hilarious because my first tape that they ever bought me was Eliza tape. I was the only boy in tap class. I could never play sport. I like everyone else knew I was a flaming child, but my parents were like genuinely floored when I came out of the closet.

So I don't know, but they were, they were very, very, very extremely born again at that time, like really into the movement, whatever. So I think they were just trying to de-everything me. They were just like trying to de-culture me, you know?

I feel you, my friend. Yeah, so anyway, I went to one of those scary, scary camp things. Yeah, that'll put the fear of God in you. It sure did. I get scared every time I see a policeman. Whenever somebody is in trouble with the police and then you see the video and they're like, fuck you police, and then the police beat them up. That's like

my worst nightmare, but I never say fuck you to the police. I'm just afraid they're going to like jump me and beat the shit out of me no matter when it happens. I'm never surprised. No, I'm so afraid. I never swear at the police. I would never verbally disrespect. I mean mean i have friends that like to push their rights like they like to like know their rights and like know what they can do

um but i i don't i'm not i'm not interested in that like if if a policeman at the airport asked me to check my trunk i'm not gonna say no like me neither i'm too scared who've refused search at airports for and i'm like are you like what are you about like what kind of baller are you like what kind of like geopolitical genius are you what's going on that's how i feel too i'm like stay cool ronnie stay cool i went to palm springs one time i and did mushrooms with a group of friends. And we were just walking through the desert tripping, which was so fun. And I really needed it. Like, I don't do that many drugs, but I love a drug vacation, you know?

Right. And I just couldn't even have fun because we were walking through some neighborhood. And I'm like, people can hear us. And what if there's a policeman? And what if the—I mean, even on heavy drugs, I'm like that. I just can't. Anyway, I will talk your head off until tomorrow. But yeah, let's find each other in real life and bring old Benjamin along.

Let's go see a show or something. It'll be fun. Okay, right on. Let's do it today. It's a future date. So you guys, please go find Molly. I'm sure you're already all following her. But at Molls on Twitter, listen to her fabulous advice podcast.

Please advise. That's PLZ. Yeah, PLZ advice. And read her e-book, The Alcoholic Bitch Who's Trying to Ruin Your Life. Is it trying to ruin your life or ruining your life? The Alcoholic Bitch Who Ruined Your Life. Who Ruined Your Life. who's trying to ruin your life. Is it trying to ruin your life or ruining your life? The alcoholic bitch who ruined your life. Who ruined your life. I love your press ads for that, by the way.

Those are really cool that you made. Oh, thank you. I like those. You look really beautiful in those. Anyway, go find Tessa Poy. And you guys, we love you. Thank you so much for supporting us. Love to your hugs.

Thanks, babe. Talk later. Bye. you thank you so much for supporting us love to your hugs thanks babe talk later bye if you like listening to comedy try watching it on the internet the folks behind the sideshow network have launched a new youtube channel called wait for it it's got interviews with comedians like reggie watts todd glass liza slicinger slicing driving friends with her for 10 years one of the funniest people out there and i still have a hard time with the last name liza our very own owen benjamin that's me takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any

longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. To the insurance company that spurned me, our time together has come to an end. It's not me.

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