Watch What Crappens - Crappens Live Austin: RHONY Slutty Island

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

It's a vacation day here at Crappens, so we're posting the Slutty Island recap we did live in Austin, Texas. Enjoy! For this week's premium bonus about what we're cooking become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Nobody sucks it to us like Amy Sokcarellas. Jamie, she has no last namey. Don't return to center, it's Lauren Fender. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Let's run some errands with Emily Aron. Whoops, it's Nancy Oaks. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters.

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She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. It's yours! It's a frauds ass watertight, it's Rosen's Sadie. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. It's Lordeus, the Lordeus of the Rings. Yes, we should, with Carrie Bridgewood. Nancy C. C. C. C. Sto. Simple as rocket science, it's Dana Eazy!

Somebody get us 10 C.C.s of Betsy M.D. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacey. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Incredible edible Matthew sisters. And, she ain't no shrinking violet koo-char! We love you guys! I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I've been so much that I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man.

I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. I'm a real happy man. Hello! Hi! Hi!

Hello! I'm the only person I know who hates coming downstairs as much as going upstairs. Good God, my butt crack is hitting my butt crack. Does that make any sense? Like vertically, it's like plump plump plump plump plump plump plump. It's like clapping butt crack coming downump, plump, plump, plump, plump, plump, plump, it's like clapping butt crack, coming down the stairs. Well, well, well. Cheese and crackers.

Cheese and crackers. Welcome everybody, thank you so much for coming. It's crap by crap, we're on load my pockets. Yeah, load those pockets. We just finished up the early show. Who is here for the early show? Woo! These bitches are drunk. I'm telling you that anyone who was here in the early show all drunk

One of them is a premium sponsor someone get me 10cc's a Betsy Andy Hi There she is it's all crap running. It's all happening. She got off work from, from, from Sir. Thank God. She magic at that shift. Oh, she got a cover by Dana. So. Thank you for coming on a school night to a late show.

Oh, yeah. That's a school night. Thank you for going to school, honestly. Thank you for being. Thank you for being intelligent and contributing to this economy And for allowing us to do this bullshit because this is crazy My my grandma Sylvia used to have a joke about Thursdays. She was like She's like so okay. There's a man sitting on a bench with another man and the man the first man turns him and says

TGIF on a bench with another man and the man, the first man, Terzeman says, T-G-I-F. Thank God it's Friday and the other man, Terzeman goes, S-H-I-T, so happens, it's Thursday. Little old, old Jewish lady humor. Rest of the day, Scramma Silvia. Love Scramma Silvia. Well, today... Yes! Yes, Grandma Silvia.

Batch, Yacht, Silvia, Batch. Grandma Batch, Batch. So, the day... I've been here in Austin and Ben came in last night. And so, we went out, we had a really good time. We saw my cousin Jen and Reed singing last night. Where was? This is amazing.

And so I didn't do shit, basically. I didn't do any of my homework. So I was like, I'm going to get up at 6 in the morning and watch Bravo. For three, how long will it take? We have three live shows, right? It's going to take three hours. Yeah, right, OK?

I barely finished. I watched this episode of Real Housewives of New York for four hours. So, buckling! Yeah, I hope no one has to be anywhere tomorrow morning. I say thank you for coming late night, and I mean thank you for staying until tomorrow morning, because it is so good rewatching the episode. Ronnie was the one who actually suggested this. Well, actually, many people in the audience suggested it. And Ronnie said, we should probably do the take a Xanax episode. And while, I mean, first of all,

real house of New York is the gift that keeps on giving. And a lot of people were like, remember season five and it wasn't that good because of the new cast? I dare them to watch this episode and tell me, it is not good. I mean, it is so just perfection. I know, but it's so hindsight. It's like fucking when you're like in your 20s, where you're like, that sucks, you know?

Like, that was terrible, that guy was gross, he smelled, and then you're like, 44, and you're like, that was fucking amazing. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Where do I find him again? How do I do that again? I mean, not fuck, like that like oh my god Also this episode is called slutty island. We obviously which is amazing

Did it didn't even say slutty island on the on the episode? The bruises just like let's just call it slutty island Nothing slutty happens. Is Lily Aviva Dresher in a blazer? Stomping around asking to see the manager, you know? Yes, Aviva, the manager, ask her. That is her. But it's like Treasure Island, because the pirate guy,

Tomas, who, wow. I mean, there's anal happens on this episode. Yeah, so treasure island, but it's like I was trying to come up with Titles to you know, it's like come up with a play on treasure Island Ledger Island. No, that's too easy Slutty island. Slutty island. Slutty. Yeah, it works. Slutes on an island. Yeah, here we go You know that there's rumors by the the way, that the Rony Trailers dropping next week. Just saying, just saying. And I'm very sad one of my big regrets already

of 2020 is that I did not take the time to save Ramona's recent Instagram stories. Did anyone see that? Ramona's in our new apartment. This was like two days ago, so it's expired, okay? But it was like the two of us doing a Ramona impersonation, and she's like, okay, here's my new apartment, okay?

Look, there's the view, whoa, this is my favorite apartment. She's like a starled by her own apartment, whoa. Over there, this is great, this is a wall, that's the kitchen, and here's my favorite part. And they're just probably like ends, you know? Do you know where I'm like, toilet. Just like the toilet.

See, I'm not in the kitchen. Sometimes you drop water on a toilet and then you go through into the woods. Smash it, smash it, smash it. What, what, whoa, whoa, whoa. And one of the most important parts about this is that her apartment. I, I was like, look at those walls. I was like, you know what? I'm pretty sure this might be a round apartment.

I didn't know in the way I was watching that fucking bitch stealing my architectural trademark. Architectural trademark and stealing it. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh or anything in life. I'm like, that is that sucks. You know what sucks? Snickers bars. Gross. He even does that. Chocolate, what the hell's new get? I don't know. I'm like, that. I'm like, who are those guys? Like hating at first is actually part of the journey. Yeah, it is. So, shall we get into this madness?

Would you like to introduce the show, Ramy? Yes. Welcome to Watch With Crappens. So we get into this madness. We'd like to introduce the show, Ramy. Yes! Welcome to Watch With Crappens. A podcast about all that crap. We'd love to talk about our mama. So slutty island. Bloody island. Tomas. How is it so blatant now that he's a whore?

Yeah. At that, and I don't mean whore like, what a permiscuous man. I mean, like a legitimate working whore. Rentman.com. Yes. And then we were like, wow, well, you know, you go boy, no.

It's so desperate. But I do love when hot people like that are just so desperate, you know? It's like your gorgeous, your thin, my completely gorgeous, you have so much hair, you know? And it's not on your back. Yeah. It's like, hasn't really grown in all the way,

I never will. It sort of looks like, you know, everyone always says, oh, it was Johnny Depp. I kind of feel like it's like, cure a nightly plane, Johnny Depp, which is appropriate. It's the same movie, you know? Just need to get some Jeffery Russian there and we got the whole cast, the Pirates.

God, it's so hot, so meany. He's just like, he's like, well, you want to go back into the, oh, little, little, little, little, little, little, and he's really just like, we'll work for beer. I don't know, like that's all you really see. So previously, on the real housewives of New York,

so we see some clips from what happened earlier. We see a tiny plane in Sonya, and it just like, she's like, mainly because she's like, I fucked the pilot earlier, and now he's on the plane. It's just such a housewives thing to be terrified of a plane. I mean, this is like a little tiny plane. Like it's a scare, you know, like people die like every day

on these planes, you know. That's not even a joke, that's not a fight. It's like, ha, ha, people die every day. Like literally, I'm scared too. But it's funny that Sony is so scared and then Aviva's so scared. It's like, okay, we can't all be Kyle Richards tonight. All right, you guys pick, pick.

So, and then we see Ramona, they walk up to this place in St. Barrett's and this is big mansion, and we just hear Ramona go, oh, Macro! Whoa! Oh! And then Heather, God, Heather Thompson.

Hello, holler, holler. I know puff daddy. I'm so fucking crazy on such a crazy face. So see and Carol are calling a Viva to tell her, you have to come on the cast trip, because you're on the cast of a TV show, we're on a trip, get over here, leg, you know. So then, there's a leg of the journey you have to go on.

Yes. Also, a Viva's leg. Oh my God, someone painted us a beautiful portrait of a Viva's leg. This is true in Seattle and I have it at home. So joe. Every time I walk in the door it's right there and everybody who comes over is like shouldn't there be a banner above it that's that congratulations you did it. Sadly not in this episode who would have thought? You made it, Lang. So yeah, so Viva's gonna come, that's what we saw. And then Heather's like,

I need to come in, oh! It's so funny. And then Peril goes and tells Ramona, and she's like, she's gonna come for the weekend. And Ramona's like, Ramona threw that thing with her hands on her hip and she's like, already angry, oh, look at that. where her hands on her hip and she's like already angry. Oh look at that

Thank you, that's for you Cheetos This is Tinas Tinas is Fred dog lovers So So I'm like whoa with without read any caracas with read she's like All right All right. All right. All right. All right.

All right. Not bad. Just gonna say, all right. And maybe what I might do is I might flare my eyes and then look sort of down and do that thing with my face where I go. All right. This is also crazy Ramona eyes for it. and then look sort of down and do that thing with my face, we're going

All right, this is also crazy Ramona eyes where her eyes are just popping out of her head and like slightly cross like All right, I'm This is peak Ramona this episode. Paul peak Ramona. I've ever it had some whoa Get literally had some whoa whoa! Literally had some, whoa! Yeah. That's faith-fit. What else does she say? She calls. She calls.

Basically, anytime you say something Ramona and her only response is, all right, you should just be like, oh shit, I'm getting murdered tonight. It's also the Ramona Vogueing, you know, which I really love. How Ramona just like poses and like, it's like peak Ramona Vogue, you know, which I really love how Ramona just like poses and It's like peak Ramona Vogue Every Ramona faces in this. Okay, so let's open Heather and Carol are by the pool and they're gossiping and Heather's like I heard Lou Ann's voice in the middle of the night with some man Oh, no, this is still the clip. So I'm sorry. Oh, so the clip. So what the fuck is he doing? I thought you were starting the episode, I was like, but there's still so many time

to each I'll talk about for five minutes. See how I put like a little line between each like it cuts up a little line. But these previously are such gold. It's like ten pages. Yeah, I got so scared. I was like, how are we not talking about the fact that when they show previously Lou Ann talking to the pirate? The pirate's name is Tom. Tomas. Tomas, but she goes, let's go, Tom.

I was like, wow, this show really knows how to foreshadow his life. Yeah, so apparently Sonia came home with, oh man, or a group of men. Sonia, it's like some random scene where if you're an alien and you're watching for this for the first time, you're like just explode them. Like, what are they even doing? They just cut to Sonya going, we heard you with the man's voice last night and it's black light in her face.

You have no idea what they're doing. What is happening? Like, the world was just blown up and they're like, well, before the radio activity hits us, tell us about the guy who was in your room last night. It's like a nuclear winter and Sony was like, you got that, Tom. And I totally forgot, we used to make fun of this all the time

and I'm resurrecting it because I forgot, Luanne's shitty excuse, oh yeah, we had a group of Italians here last night. A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- Italians, yeah, there's many. It was Papa John and Luigi and Mario, whoa, Mario was here. And then Heather is so Heather, this is such a Heather thing to say. She's like, if Louanne is going to continue

to perpetuate this Italian story, what the fuck, what are you talking about? Okay, calm down, Robert Mueller. Yeah, right. Can we bring people to the stand or can we not, Luan? I know. So then, but then of course, we get the classic clip of Luan pacing around in the villa on the phone

speaking the world's worst French. Is that even French? You know some French, right? You're a smart person. I was the former president of the French club in my school. Oh, yes. Thank you. But anyway, so she's saying in front of you every time you say something like that, because

I forgot it. Yeah. Oh, my God. And I always remind you. Well, as someone who once was in the French club, but president. So, but I forgot almost all the French, but she was basically telling, she basically was saying on the phone, she's like, OK, just remember, I've been telling everyone, like, don't say I brought a guy.

I've been telling people it was a group. And then she starts going on group, on group, on group. Paquito Awa Porfevoorortec, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. Bonseric, Ressant. Escargo. One improv class, say, oh, one of the games that you have to play, like, can warm up an improv class.

Well, one of them is, here's a little ball, throw it, catch a big ball. Okay, that's not the hearing order there. Let's jump. But one of the games is you have to pretend to be speaking a language. And so they'll be like French. And that's what Louis has sounds like. Oh, see, it's like level A in Prague.

Yeah, like not even level one. It's like trying to get to level one. Bonjour, Paris, I feel tired. Who that? On group bear. On group. Just squeeze alone a veck on group. Pa, da Johnny Depp. There's a little bit of real French in there, guys.

Through Easter eggs. Lays of the Easter. Easter. Mm. Easter. Easter. Easter. That's the way I'm saying, friends. Easter. So they've decided to have this part.

I don't know, I guess they're covering up the fact that Luanne has sex with Tomas by inviting Tomas and a party back to the house. Well. Listen, now she's going to say, look again, it was a group of Italians who all speak French. Shh. So, right, it's so weird that she came stressing Italians.

They were Italians. They were Italians. It was five Italian men who love my music. Mm-hmm. Pizza rolls, Suzuki. Wait a minute. When the moon hits your eye like a big... I don't know the rest. Okay so the only one he shows up to this party is Tomas and his madam. okay? It's basically his pimp, right? Yeah, who looks like the lady from Mash? Ah!

Not Sally Kellerman, that's the other one. Yes, Sally Kellerman. Oh, the TV Mash. Yeah. The Sally Kellerman is the movie Mash, right? And she's more like, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, Loretta's sweat is more like a sweat. Loretta TV one is more like, really, zifferin'. This is really weird, but I was on Loretta's sweat Instagram yesterday. And she had a photo of her with Betty White from clearly like two years ago,

because you we know what Betty White looked like in the 80s versus two years ago. And this Loretta sweat goes, her caption goes, here's a photo of us taking in the late 70s. It's like, Loretta Swift, why are you trying to troll Instagram right now with your phone? Like, yeah, like in your late 70s. Obviously, she got into my brain.

Loretta Swift. That was just on the rightdit suite, Instagram last night. Because I was looking up golden girls. I'm not totally believable. You don't even need to explain it. I get a little bit of code for that. I was bored. And then all of a sudden, as I was scrolling

because I did a search for golden girls, and I saw the reddit suite. And I was like, let me see. Whoa, it's like, I just want to find out about the reddit suite. OK? So I picked the reddit suite. I clicked on the reddit suite. Show called Marsh. OK? I don't know what it is. It's a show about Korea. Okay, so like, reddit sweat. Clicked on the reddit sweat, a show called Mosh, okay?

I don't know what it is, it's a show about Korea. I don't like Korean food, okay? I'm sorry, I'm not gonna watch Mosh. What is this? Do you think people that post with Instagram pictures with Betty White are getting kind of thirsty? Because Betty White has like literally worked everywhere five times a day her whole life. Like, so many Costco will be like,

look, here's me working with Betty White at Costco yesterday. And she's like, yeah, here we am, working at Costco, still going 97 years older whatever. Like, still working at $0,000 an hour a day. Like, all right, enough person on Facebook boasting with Betty White. God, I love Betty. I mean, I love Betty White. It's just the people thirsting off of her stop drinking Betty White. Yeah We promise not to post any photos with Betty White

We've never taken on like Heather to bro anyway, so Don't trigger me, okay. No, it's late. I was also on Heather DeBros anyway the point is this We should happen they say keep Austin weird so I was keeping it weird so Anyway, so now we have the we now we have the the taglines from season five of that. I had all but forgot about it. Some of them were oddly non-ironic. They were just ver- just statements. Wasn't it like season one housewives?

You know how on season one they would just take audio from later in the season, like Vicki Gumbelsen. Like, you know, I wiped in my countertops the other day and then you know, get a jab in cheers. Yeah, I love cool to sacks. It was like I love cool to sacks. Well, they just string that together and put it to them posing.

Yeah. So the first one is the Vivas. And it's very like, it doesn't have anything clever about it. She goes, never under-estate. Never under-estate. No. You're all white trash, quite frankly. Never under-estimate. Never underestimate the reddest suede.

Yeah, damn. Which is funny, because I actually always used to say that a Viva dresser reminds me of the reddest suede. Yeah, she has full circle. She is very lady from Masha, either one of them, Viva. So anyways, she is never underestimate a woman born and raised in New York City. I'm like, and then, and she's like, that's it. Yeah.

I was born here and raised here. Well, congratulations on being dropped out of a wound someplace. Well, put up a banner. So Carol's like, I may be a princess, but I'm not a drama queen. God, remember this is when we still all bought carols. I'm a journalist from two seconds. I just talked to Barbara Walters, a bi-right just ran a marathon.

Do you like that I'm using a vape as a phone when I literally have a phone right here? Stupid. Improv, you take a small vague and terms a big phone. That's how far I got an Improv class. Well, you know, the first person to see through Carol was a Viva. Yeah, but does that really mean that?

Everyone, we still don't want to give it to her. He doesn't really count. So now we have Heather, and she goes, again, Heather's is like, she's doing like an infomercial late at night. She's like, my success is built on making women look and feel their best. HALA! What was that?

HALA! It's a log line of your resume. Yeah. And then LeWan, to some people being elegant, just comes naturally. And then she does this. Just sounds just like this. Just the sturdiest. Meanwhile, all her songs are auto tuned.

There we have Ramona. She was, whoa. What? Oh, I'm not afraid to say what everyone else is thinking. Okay. Mario. Mario. You're all thinking about Mario, right?

Avery? Mario. A little Sonya. Spice at any party. Oh, this is back of the day when they gave Sonia. Like her lines are so demure when you think back, because now it's like, I'm a fucking bottom and I like it up the ass. That kind of was her, is right.

Some people need to be on top and I let them on the bottom. But yeah, that's what it was. Sometimes I like being the bottom. Yeah. All right, so, yeah. Let's just keep feeding Sonya more and more alcohol. Yeah.

I got fucked in my nostril today. Dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun. Just put it in me already. Do they still use the same theme song for Real House out of New York? No. Because this one is really... Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh Banga. It's a banga. Okay, so now let's open. It's gonna be open up. So now we're in the villa and all the women are sitting around Tomas and Tomas is just sitting there and we don't really know the full contacts because this is before they start putting in a lot of flashbacks in an episode to always, you

know, show you what's up. So we just see all the women and Sonia turns to Tomas, and just like, I don't know what Luanne did with you. And he's like, Bonsol, Bonsol. Sonia, that was a huge suck right into the mic. Eww. That's where next second, Tomas has huge sweat stains, and his hair is just like greasy. Look, we've all looked like this at one point.

Were you just come home and your makeup's like kind of smeared on your drawing? You're wearing a vest. Yeah, you've just been, you're like, never get this vest on. Yeah. So Sonia is like, she's wearing this huge yellow side bow in her hair in the testimonial.

It's like it's big as a baby. It's like a yellow baby just hanging on the side of her head. And she's like, well, Blue Anne is definitely in lockdown mode. I mean, she's batting down the hatches. She is dug in and shuddering. She's like, shut up, Sonya. Stop. Like no one just said Sonya, be quiet. She's like, shut up, Sonya. Stop. No one just said, Sonya, be quiet.

She just keeps going. So she's like, I don't know what the aunt did to you. And Ramona's like, well, what? Hey, what? Hey, what? What? What? I'd like to see you, okay?

Nice? Sands her face. Good boy. What? There. Sit. Sit. Why?

Because basically Ramona and Sonya are circling to Moss. What? There, sit, sit, my- Sit, what? Why, like, sit, what? Because basically Ramona and Sony are circling to Mass. Ramona knows that she's still going through with her marriage, so she has to pretend she doesn't want to jump him. But Sony doesn't have to, but Ramona's just like, whoa, poirot, okay? Whoa.

And the way I'm saying, Luana could never be more pissed. She's sitting there like, mm, is mine, ladies, I mean, Italians. Pizza pie. Ramona, don't get too friendly now. Don't go too friendly. Every minute goes.

Gnorfitz-Wing! She's like evil, pop-eyed face. And Tomasco's, oh, money can't pay you class. Money goes, money can't songs. Okay, silly Billy. So Ramona's like, I know. God, also, just not really where, I'm sorry. This is gonna be forever. Yeah, but Ramona goes, I know the wind. Just as she said, the wind, the wind.

No, the wind, port of man, home this night. I didn't know who, hey, you don't have to be rocked scientists to figure it out now. I don't know why you playing this game. You know what? I'm gonna play two cat mouths anyway. It's like murder she wrote. It's like cat mouth.

Ramona is so fucking relentless. So she starts saying, she starts me like, so you're at the house that's like, right? Right Remember this room when you were here last night, Tomah, right? Okay, this is the best thing to me about this so she's following him doing what you're doing, right? And he's doing that thing where you're just trying to avoid Crazy drunk lady trying to fuck you. I don't know what to say

And he's like mm-hmm. I saw you know what to say. And he's like, mm-hmm. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. I saw you here at the house. You pretend you're not on the phone. It's great house. Kai, you're here. And Ramona is doing a blackberry fight. Yeah.

Okay, do you remember the blackberry pearl? I do. Had it, owned it. It's my drag name, blackberry pearl. This is one of the first, it's... Blackberry. But that was the cutest drag name. Thank you. Oh my god. I love it so tactile

and out of style in one day. Oh my did you bend? So the blackberry pearl. Okay Ramona has a blackberry pearl. That was one of the first phones you could be like I can read the internet on my telephone and there has like a little mouse in the middle. And I remember going to Sharkey's. It's kind of like salsa fresh, but better, but further away, it's all a couple of angles, so no thanks. But I was there and I was like, I have a Blackberry Pearl. So I was like waiting for my burrito

and I was like, I was doing this. Like, so everybody could see me looking at the internet. And then another guy came in with a Blackberry Pearl and I was like, fuck that guy, thanks a lot for rooting, I'm so sorry. Well, thanks a lot for ruining my Blackberry Pearl moment, it's shokies you dick. Okay, so that's what Ramona is doing. You can tell she just got this Blackberry Pearl,

so she's doing this to fight. Yeah. She keeps waving at him. She's like, oh yeah, where were you last night? I know what you did last summer, okay? Okay. And she's also doing the the Ramona teeter where she like goes a little bit like She's like I know you with yeah it's a great house No, I know I know

Following him around the least trying to avoid her. It's like you can't move away from Ramona. They wind up, it's always staying right by you. And they wind up in a corner where there's this random sticks. And Ramona's like, whoa, that game? It's like pick up sticks, okay? Pick up sticks, pick up sticks. If you see pick up sticks, great game. I used to play, oh, this one time, this little girl I was like oh I want to play a game I

Want to play game okay? And I was like what about a play chess and checkers and then my father's friend Jordan posmith said no You know what game you do you play pick up sticks is in walk around the woods and pick up all the sticks you find this day I can't go into woods and I can't play pick up sticks, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but this is a dramatic game, Tomah, and I need to be hugged, okay? Sorry, hug me. Hug me, pick up sticks.

Pick up sticks. We adapted it in America, okay? Yeah, she goes, she goes, they must have adapted that game in the US called pick up sticks. You know that game in America called pick up sticks that must have adapted it. Well at least you know it's at least it's an American saying like we stole that game from you You know I'm like the other way around usually like we invented that game We call it pick up sticks. What do you call this? Sticks in a plant?

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Littie by the way she never saw him last night. Why aren't they all at lity though? They were all wearing lity Yeah, they were all at lity, but she didn't see she didn't see Tomah at the villa. She's just heard that he was there So now she's she's lying that she saw him and he's lying that he was there even though he was there and So it would be right that she would have seen him, but she didn't see him. She's lying, but he's lying Ben you're a detective like Ramona oh my god. It's that a game that they adapted from America? Pick up sticks. Cat and mouse?

Well, they cat and mouse, then. So, Tomas, you saw me heal. At least a vaner pump in my mind, basically. And she's like, well, do man? Single. Can't. I don't care what you're doing. Single's just have man.

It's not like me. I'm Mary, okay? She's got nothing, she's got nobody, look at her, she's got a panic over there, okay? She's gonna come home with a two-legged pig for a light care. And then the camera just stays on her while she does her Ramona Shimmie when she's like, she goes like this.

Just stays on her for an awkwardly long time and then cuts away. And then she thinks she's being really coy. She's like, whoa, Tomah, maybe it's your double. Get the bull. Kay, the bull, the lay, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the bull, the bull, the bull, the bull, the bull, the bull. Lewand. The bull, the bull, the bull. So Lewand then passes like this. Okay. I'm gonna stay away from him because I keep through my phone to this computer. I knocked a beer over earlier, almost on his computer.

Yeah, five. Okay, this is Ramona and LeWand talking. No, this Ramona and Tomas talking. And the man's like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, old-ish, like maybe an astray at best, but. Oh. A lot of top apologists in the house tonight. So, yeah, so. So the one is just like, she literally is like so excited to ruin Luan's life.

Like she always has, but she's like, whoa, Jack gets into shock. It's gonna be too happy when he finds out, okay, we have to do a lot of backpedaling. All right, she doesn't even have a pool noodle to do it with. Sorry. It's actually, she's got a lot of backpedaling. Backpedaling. Just could be specific. Okay, through Mona English. She's got a lot of backpedaling to do.

So all the girls are talking to the French lady right at the matum. Yeah. And Leuands, like, well, all right, who do you know here? So all the girls are talking to the French lady right at the matum. Yeah. And Leuand's like, well, all right, who do you know here? You know me, obviously. Super star, me. Oh, countess. And a great relationship.

But guys over there's Ramona tripping all over herself. Her little penis has already been used. And that's that over there that's Carol. And the woman's like, oh yeah, Carol, yeah. Like she's the one who's the princess and the wands face is like, I'm the royalty here. Hmm, princess. Didn't you find it curious that this madam knows Carol and Carol didn't say, hey, I know that madam.

The madam had to say it first and Carol's like, oh, I'm surprised that she recognized me. I was here. That's something fishy about that, Carol. Kinky asked Carol. Kinky, Kinky Carol. So one thing that I had 100% forgotten about was that in this season, Carol had a boyfriend named Russ, who was in some sort of like journey tribute band or something. And so, Russ. That's so specific, some German tribute band. But I mean, it's just so carol to be like, I have a boyfriend named Russ

in town playing a gig down the streets. Like, of course, you do. Of course, Carol. Of course you're gonna ride on someone's handlebars and get to it. So, yeah, so she's saying, all right, settle down everyone, settle down. Okay, we're not afraid to kick bitches out. All right, we're not afraid. We're not afraid.

We'll do it. Don't be afraid to touch me. Whoa, we're not afraid. Okay, 2020 and we're mad and we're empowered and we're feeling like Ramona tonight. Okay? So they're all giving Tomasz shit, right? And the ladies, the ladies, basically talking to Carol and Carol seems a little crofluffer, for fluff third. Crofluffer. So then,

for fluff third. So then, Sonny is like, well, who needs a boyfriend? When you have all this, right, you know? And Tomas is like, oh, it's a lot of work getting a boyfriend. My boyfriend is coming later. And Sonny goes, oh, you have a boyfriend? Wednesday nights, my place.

Get the fuck up. And then, there's at the townhouse. Yeah. And I was like, are you gay? That'd be such a waste, okay? And the lady, the French lady's like, French guys are not the bisexual. A, since when?

And B, why the fuck you got to act like that, French mad? I'm calm yourself down. So, Sonia goes, he's not be coastal. No, she says he's be coastal, not be sexual. And ladies like, no, not be sexual, bisexual, and Sonia's like, but when you have a minage atroir, that's not be sexual. What the fuck is Sonia acting like she doesn't know what bisexual means?

Going on. And the lady's getting real happy. She's like, French man, not with two men. It's two women, one man in a French manage at, wow, oh, wait, I'm like, okay. Settle, settle down, lay Miss Arab, okay. She's like, master of the house. Manage at all with two men, no.

But that's how straight guys are, right? They're like, yeah, I like to eat some. No two chicks, only two chicks, only, you know, she? They're like, yeah, I like to eat some. No, two chicks, only two chicks, only. You know, she's got to protect her product. You know, she can't be like, hey, fucks tons of guys, you know? I like Sonya who's just like, you know,

because then they start saying, Monaja, to all of that, Monaja, Seth, who's just like, Monaja, Seth, and then Sonya goes, Monaja, anything right now. She's up against the cabinet, just like rinding on it. I mean, pretty much it's not really even exaggeration, you know? And then Sonya, Sonya is like the most fun

and has gay parties, but she says some of the most ignorant shit. She's like, she's like, Jamas is so high. He can get away with wearing makeup. Like, hmm. Also, macro note about Sonya, which is that watching this episode, I was cracking up at all her casual, mean girl things she got done saying,

the entire episode. She's like, oh, who wants to hang up those lamas? Anyway, let's have sex. Like, non-stop. It was amazing. I loved it. So Sonya tells Thomas, how old are you? And he's like, I'm going to be 38 which is older than you

And the way I'm just nodding like he's mine bitch And then Whoa, whoa my glass Definitely wrong my glass. Okay. Hello! There's something wrong with my glass. Dripping water, okay? Dripping water. Hello! She's like, you're holding it upside down.

Oh. You're holding it upside down. So Carol's like, Luann's still going, my Italian friends, my time, friends and Carol says, Carol's like, didn't she learn what we all learned in Watergate? It's never the crime. It's the cover up.

I'm a reporter journalist from Amy's. Then she's wearing piggy tails, you know. Carol. The fact that Carol compared Luan, talking about her Italian friends to Watergate is low-key hilarious. Yeah, just like Watergate. She's like saying journalistic things.

So Ramona's like, where are you going, Kate? Because already did last night. It's my turn. Get off the bike, Sonya. And Sonya's like, yeah, you already did it last night, Louie. And the man goes, last night I did a French town. Do not, I'm doing it a tie and stop. You just told everyone that Italians came over last night,

Louie. OK. So then Ramona is just going, talking to nobody on her blackberry. What the hell? So now, so you're texting, like Ramona, you're not texting anybody. I'm just looking at your note right now and it is cracking me up what you've written down. May I read it? Yes, well, not if it's going to get me in trouble, you know, it's up to these notes. I have, that's why I'm always staring

at the notes like, oh God, don't say that. Okay, X,XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX This is Roni's note. Outside, Sonia, Lou, Ramona, and Gaping, vagina. Ramona's staring at the camera. Oh, it's the arm. There's a big sculptor behind them. And it's like one of those, like, it's the vagina, but also art and not a vagina. Trick, you. Why am I thinking about vaginas? So Sonia's like, this is like, who's on first?

Okay, so Sonia and Ramona and Lewand. I gave him vagina and a caping vagina art. So Sonia is like, this is like, who's on first? This is like, this is nothing like who's on first. Yes, first. Literally nothing like that. And Sonia gets, now we need to figure out who's on second. And who's on third? And you's gonna get the home one.

Yeah, Ramona's like, whoa, I know what's going on here. Who's gonna get the basketball in the hoop? Now Ramona, different sport. Touch down on your hockey puck, so you can really kick, pickups, yes. And then like, well, the night is young. Times are coming over, you know what I'm saying. So then Sonia starts questioning Tomas again.

Like, do you know she brought in my son? He's like, oh, Jesus Christ. Is someone going to pay me to fuck them or not? Like, I've been here. I'm in your five hours. So, yes. Now, he got started talking to Heather. And she's probably like, I like to empower women and I drink

Spritzer sometimes He's like we we we okay I love women and putting limes in my drinks You better step the fuck off the curb. That's what we used to say, because she was always trying to talk like street. She's like, I know puff daddy. You better back up off the curb mother. Yeah, there was the one episode where she said mother fucker and they're like, whoa, did

you learn that in jail? I was like, it was the most hilariously coded moment. So, the girls were just basically over Tomas again and again and again. Okay, so now it's Tomas and Carol and Sonia talking. And Tomas is like, I love this carol. She is my boy Zidbardo. And Carol is, look, OK. So Carol's not competing like the other ladies.

No. Fuck me, Tom. Do it. Let's do it right now. But she's doing it like this. She's squinting her eyes going, um. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

And she's trying to look really casual with her hands and her pockets, but one hand is in her pocket. and one is bald into a fist like this right on her side Like our carol curls. I have more intense feelings for Carol watching this back And then it what goes from that I don't know if you caught this But there is this random shot of Ramona dancing. Did anyone see that she was dancing but also Unlocking something. Did anyone see that? Hey cut to her ass. Where'd it go? Go back tonight.

She's literally over to the side. And she's literally just doing this. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Macarena key lock dance going on. So, so, and you're like, I was an artist for three years and Tomas is like, oh, no, you're not so sad. You please say, please don't say that. I'm an artist who said in Duret 5'4 years, you know. Oh my God, he's teasing me, he's teasing me. And then some lots of like, yeah, it's over now.

She's, it's not over. It's not over to the fat lady sings. And here I am. Ha! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Sorry, I got kind of lost.

No, no, I actually, I was like, I'm going I got a lot to do. I was like, I'm going to censor myself for once. No, no, stop doing it. No, no, no. It was not fair. It was not fair what I was about to say in Ramona's voice. Whoa. You know what?

You know what? Some things are made for me and for Mario, okay? So, so then it was around this part where... I brought Sonia Wasted Dancing with a Bruce on her leg. Yeah. For Sonia has been in a dryer or like thrown down a hill. Sonia's just got bruises all over. Yeah. Things got crazy and lati. I put Thomas's like the Loube. He's just like a Loube sitting there in the middle of the room

and they're all like sliming all over him. And then there was just that like famous shot that they always cut back to of Sonia and Tomah walking into a room and Tomah goes to the left. Sonia goes to the right and he does that thing where he's like, oh, I forgot about this side of the room and just I tried to catch like yes. Going to do some anal now. And the lady is seeing Heather's like we have a winner. Hello. Hello. And then it's actually looks it's the entire thing is shot like a horror movie by the way.

It is. Because Tomah follows Sonya off screen and then we go down a staircase into darkness. And it is like for sure like the grudge part three, you know, like I'm expecting fingers to come out of Sonya's hair. But I think just here you get fabulous ass. You have a nice ass. You have a nice ass. You have a nice rat.

You like it? I have a nice ass. Yeah, it's right. So. Yeah. Oh yeah. So the next morning, what's going on? Boat trip.

With dates, martyates, planning team. Boat. What's going on? We know it's a big day because Ramona already has her pool noodle out. She's already like walking around. Pool noodle is essential. Yeah, so you too. This is a big pool noodle episode for both Ramona and Sonia.

So Heather is like last night. Oh, sorry, Sonia. So Heather is like, last night, oh, sorry Heather, Heather. Heather's like, last night I was in Carol's room and we heard a bruja. So we went to investigate and we found Luana and Tomas. Now a lot of those bruises make more sense. And so then Ramona, it cuts to Ramona talking to one of the guys going, we got a Columbia. But she said can we go to Columbia? Yes, I'm going to talk about foreshadowing, right? Talk about foreshadowing. There was a lot of it on here.

I also didn't know that same parts were so close to Columbia. I learned things guys. I don't either. I just think it's hilarious seeing Ramona say that to anybody. Yeah. So, uh, Sissy Boca, oh Ramona trying to speak French. Sissy Boca, so Carol's like, I'm not going to say who, but last night a sex act happened that until recently had been a felony in 36 states. As they said in Watergate, it's not so much the crime as it is the butt fucking. Can I say that?

And my favorite real housewives of New York songs that they do still use. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Okay. So I rebelled on boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then Sonia saying, here we are in Columbia. Did this not happen? Is this all in my head? I know. No, they did it. She said that and I reround. I was like, did she say Columbia? And she said it again. And then I said, you know what? I just like put it out of my mind. Yeah, I don't know. I was like, I'm not gonna make you talk. I'm not gonna make you talk. Here we are in Utah.

And I would have been like, great, great cruise. Yeah, I have no idea. Love the beaches in Utah. I want an on-cruise one time. And they're like, no, here we are. And I didn't even know where we were. I didn't really care. I was like, is there a chit-lease here?

So then here's an textbook example of what I was saying about Sonia before. So Ramona's taking pictures. They're having fun on the boat. Ramona's taking pictures with Sonia, but also Heather. And Sonia goes, oh, Heather's allowed to be in vacation pictures. Yeah, because Ramona hates Heather until right now.

Like, she's been in the first place. But it was just so effortlessly savage. Just like, no, she's allowed in, strange. We should put her in the cellar. Yeah, because Ramona is so, she's so evil to Heather and then all this sense, like, Hoi Heva! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Perfection, Ramona's on the boat and out of nowhere, she just almost falls over and goes, whoa! Wow, almost fell over, we need a bigger boat, okay? Uh, so then Luann in the water, she's like, what time is it even coming in? And Carol's like, according to a source embedded at the airport,

I'm around six a nixin. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I was just be wasted and I'm fine. You're asked, look, have you ever heard me be quiet that long? Never. I will follow what you think. I'm like a, I'm like a detected. Yeah. I'm like cat and mouse. Okay, so go ahead.

Yeah. So, Shremo is like, you know what? I like a Vivo. Okay, I like it, but you know what? She hasn't been here, okay? We got some Mojo going on, all right? We got some Mojo. We even have some Mojo going on. All right. We got some mojo We even have some mojo going with Heather. Can you believe it even Heather?

pool noodles Sonia and Sonia and I wanted to jump around with pool noodles So Kazoo music plays I don't know why this is the only show where we could say pool noodles and people So And just the whole evolution of Ramona like no, I don't know how to swim in the This is the only show where we could say pool noodles and people scream at whistle. And just the whole evolution of Ramona. No, I don't know how to swim in. And then getting that swim instructor like Vlad or whatever.

It was like, yeah, like someone like on the run from Putin who has been like hiding for 10 years and suddenly to stuck on Real House of New York, we're never going to see him. So yeah, so she's like, yeah, we even have some mojo going on with Heather. And Sony goes, whyjo going on with Heather. And Sony goes, why are you connecting with Heather? So then we go to a Viva and read.

Come on down the stairs, it's here for, oh my God. Read looks like a prisoner on the news, you know? I'm like, I know. I'm like, we have a guy on there. American prisoners. What do we do? He's just like, stay brief mom, stay brief. So Aviva, Aviva who does all her confessionals, like, slashed over, she's like, I am so petrified at this moment to fly on a ten-seater with a propeller.

I'm the Windows Open. I'm petrified right now. And I'm in a blazer in tropical heat. It's a lot. Fucking to be much. She goes smaller planes have a stronger incidence of crashing. And my personal experience with statistics is not good. How many?

But it's just how she says it, you know? She's like, how many people get their foot stuck into a conveyor belt at six and lose their leg? I don't know, I'll have to check the farmer's all maniac on that one. She's such a random statistic. How many kids play on conveyor belts when they're six. I mean, I need a more specific question. So Aviva is having a crisis because she's deeply

neurotic and she's going out, listen, those tiny planes are scary, but especially for Aviva who can barely take an elevator up a floor and has a crazy awful father, she's just full of stuff. And so she is freaking out. And one of the reasons why I love this show is that she is having a meltdown and the music is like, boom. Bum, boom, boom. But she's like, read, read, I need you to hold me. I need to feel your hand.

I need to feel your hand right now. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I don't buy her for a second. I think she's full of shit. She's not afraid of anything. She's just one of those people without a personality. So they're like, oh! Tententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententententent Yes, yes, oh flower as I guess are real. Sorry. I'm getting into real stuff I'm like people who say that diabetes. I'm full of shit. You know, I'm just kidding us So if you was like, um, please say that's not a plane read please say does that because I have to transfer to another plane to get to this place So she's because does that float of fly? I'm like well if you're in a plane and you're afraid of it crashing on the water

When you rather have floaties come out of me float of fly. I'm like, well, if you're in a plane and you're afraid of it crashing on the water, wouldn't you rather have floaties come out of me? So while she's going through all that, the women are tanning on the boat, and then Sonia and Ramona change their outfits, and I'm like, whoa, we have a lunch look, okay? It's a perfect look to make you not want to have lunch right now, okay?

She changes into a lunch look. Yeah, and then Sonia's just like, oh, sorry, I just had gas. I left it over there for a moment. Chocolate gas. Chocolate gas. She literally says chocolate gas. Heather's like, they're being so quiet and lovely over there. It's worrying me.

Carol's like, instead of rather, he used to say 30 seconds before the cameras went on. It's the calm before the stormy Nixon. And out for change on a boat, that's a new one. So it's like the gates of hell just opening for the 900th time. They're just so tired of opening. It's like, oh, the gates. Hell just gives up. Hell says, you know what, we're close for business.

So they're eating there. So Ramon and Sonia are eating there. And Ramon's like, whoa, we're not this shade, okay? I have to be in this shade. I mean, look, I'm just firing, okay? I'm just firing. I can't do this. So Ramona, oh my god.

So Luan is like, Luan's like, don't worry, girls. I got this. I can sort of speak French Excuse me sir. Do you have an umbrella? Sure, literally says you have an umbrella, but she puts she says umbrella like umbrella And the guys are cracking up. I just can't I mean it's son on a boat that's nuts I can't do son. Hey son. I don't want sun, okay? Just can't sun me.

And so the guys are like, I'm gonna go sun tanning, okay? Yeah, so the guys are like, they hold towels over there. They're like, oh, another origin story. And the guys are cracking up and sending us, all except that. And these guys are holding up these towels here. And you know, it was so awful,

but at the same point, I kind of just loved Ramon and Sonia just being like, we're rich right now. And we don't care. We're rich demanding ladies. And we're gonna make people do things that will just be embarrassing for them, but we don't care, because we can't have sun

for this five minutes of our lives. It's like rich people with free shit, you know? Yeah. Like rich-ish people with free, because I mean, come on, Sonia is not a rich lady, you know? Yeah. Rich-ish people with free, because I mean, come on, Sony is not a rich lady, you know? Sony is like, yeah, get that towel, hell that per bad, for a minute.

But it's not like Kyle Richards who likes to pretend that she's still like a normal, right? When she's loaded up, but you know, it's at least Ramona just like, I'm rich and I don't care and you have to do something crazy for me. Yeah. So Carol and Heather,

God, so then we cut to this scene where Carol's always, and Carol legit does have like dramatic horrible things that have happened in her life. So I'm not, I'm not even going to make fun of that. But it's just so, Carol's like this fun episode, pool noodles, they're making people old towels over there. And then it cuts the Carol.

And beautiful, the beautiful Caribbean, sunshine, and everyone's having a wonderful time. Cut to Carol going. Heather, remember that football player who died in 9-11? Oh, yes. And Heather's like, yeah. Yeah. That's that book.

That's his window. Heather's like, great. I'm just going to go hold a towel up for Ramona. Up your back. Because you remember when this cast first started, and it was like a huge cast shake up, and they were having lunch. It was Carol, Aviva, Heather, all the new ones

whoever they were, if I'm missing someone, sorry you're going to who cares. But they were all having less together. And Heather's like, you know what? We're going to be different. We're going to power each other. No petty fighting ladies. That's right. Yeah, so I think we're always trying to bring like a real conversation, but you're in the middle of a loony tunes You know, she's like remember 9-11. It's like okay. No, Carol. We're up it up. Yeah, congratulations

So me while we come back to Aviva, who's in the plane, and she's like doing the thump thing, and she has like her, she's got her beats by Drean, which is hilarious. Aviva's got beats by Drean, and she has, she's like, I've just read, I'm just gonna listen to my anti-anxiety playlist. She's like, I have a whole library of anti-anxiety.

Shaka Khan. She's like, I have a whole library of anti-anxiety. Shock a con. In URI's Stevie Wonder, a lot of seal, a lot of seal. Chinato Conner, glorious pebbles. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I was thinking the same thing. I actually was thinking the same thing. She is not. She is ridiculous. She's not, and she's entitled, which are two things that we need, entitled not.

Yes. It's just like a rich white lady on a plane to a beautiful island going, listening to Dr. Beatty's song. Could you imagine going like, I not with this I cannot you know that you know that the way she sings that song is the worst too You know that like a Viva singing ain't nobody ain't nobody Love me better Ain't nobody like you do Read you want to hear read you want to hear read? Oh

God and read is just the worst kind of husband. I mean to her I'm sure he's a great husband, but he's a worst kind of husband up be around. He's just like you are a superstar of Eva Look at you on this plane. We're flying, you're listening to beats, you are so brave. Aviva's like right now all I'm trying to do is focus on shotgun, seeing the girls, big hugs, potentially a banner. I would welcome print shop, but handwritten would be fine. And a good time. So they finally land and read like we're doing it, we're doing it.

She's just like slap the top of her head and then leaves her hand there like. She's just trying to contain shocker con in there. Don't leave shocker, don't leave me. Read a fire, through the rain. You can do this superstar. And then they land and he's like, awesome, mazo. You did fantastic. She's like, thank you so much.

Thank you so much for being with me, Reed. And he's like, you got yourself here. I'm like, she literally was a passenger. OK. You got yourself. I'm like, she literally... Literally, something was a passenger. Okay. You got yourself. So then, we then cut to Sonia Ramona, who are like slinging around the island, like two bandits,

and they step into a real estate office. I'd fully forgotten about this. And they meet up with someone named Peg Walsh, who works on St. Bats in real estate. Oh my God, I knew you were gonna die when you saw Peg Walsh. Yeah, hey. The owner of St. Farther's company is, yeah. So Ramona's like, I always cover my options, okay?

With reading a Viva coming, I don't know if it's gonna work out. Keep my options open. Oh, I Peg Walsh, I'm Ramona. Jeff and Matt, we can get a match at any moment. Jeff went open right now because we're gonna get a match. Dang, it's gonna be a match. They're like Mattcha, we can get a match at any moment. Jeff went up and right now, cause we're gonna get a match thing. It's gonna get a match. They're like, actually, the way it do. She's like, okay, I mean, who knows?

I mean, maybe Heather will wanna come to, who knows? And Sonya's like, you, Heather. What? Maybe LeWan will come. I mean, she's not gonna stay with the duds. She really said that. She called them all the duds. The noobs.

So Sonia's like, oh, you have been available, but hopefully we'll be calling you in an hour to get the place. I'm like, OK, Sonia. Hey, Sonia, is there a Tesla dealership you want to go stand in front of and take some selfies before you ride home on the subway? And then Ramona's like realizing like, no,

we can't look like bitches on TV. So she goes like, she goes to her back and it's like, hopefully we don't have to. Hopefully we don't have to. Sonya is still in saying, hopefully, we don't have to. Win, Winke peg, Walsh, hopefully we don't have to, okay, we don't have to, okay.

Sonya, Sonya, we don't have to, okay. Sonia, sonia, we don't have to do it. Sonia, sonia. Hopefully, hopefully we don't have to do it, okay? Hopefully. So then they turn around to leave and I could swear that Sonia has tags on the back of her dress. I'm not that. So Ramona and Sona and the pool.

With noodles, here it comes. But Naked. But Naked. But Naked. So they're naked. And Sonya's like, you're my little, oh, they're both just basically. It's your hot, when Naked, that's what we do.

What party girls? We like to be naked. We're at the business. We like to be at the business naked. So Heather walks up and she's like, what's up you crazy girls, look at your high knees. They're like, who the fuck is this bitch? We're gonna say come in, Heather, pretending to be nice to you.

So I have someone on my side when I'm fighting both the way in, that hook or a beat, okay? So Heather's like, I would love to come in, but I just took a shower. And she's like, so take another shower. It's plenty of water and it's cute being. From what is that idiot to get stranded on a desert island and be like, what? This water everywhere. Have a drink. Drink it. Just drink the water. Okay, you stupid face. Carol, meanwhile, I was like, I could be wrong, but in

my mind, Carol is doing that thing where she's sitting by the edge of the pool. And she's not putting her feet in the pool, but she's got her knees up and her hands around it, but she's at the side of the pool being like, I'm a cool girl, too. And her whole thing is that she's's at the side of the pool being like, I'm a cool girl too. Yes. And her whole thing is that she's gonna go to Russ's rehearsal before dinner, before they go to Baguettelle. So she's really, really excited to see Russ before dinner.

Yeah. And Aviva is just that horrible person that gets driven to a place after she's been flown three on three different planes to a place. And so the guy drops her off at her luxury mansion. She has, I guess there's someone to get stuff out of the car for us. And he's like, yeah, I'm out.

What's your name, Ted? Can you get that thing? Thanks. So she's also trying to play at Cools. She's trying to be like, I'm fun. I'm a fun person. I'm a Viva Dresher. Very fun.

So they're walking at the stairs. And's like laughing at everything like look at these stairs Trees ha easy going and the girls are like a thing But you did it Congratulations. They really are like gushing over a Viva for coming to this luxury trip That was very very normal and nice. And I would say like really hit the mark on the greeting for Aviva for someone who just got there. Two people were in the pool, so they didn't get out

because they were in the pool, and they don't want to get the woman in a blazer wet. The other people were nice. I give it solid marks as a hello and greeting. Yeah, it was good greeting. They were very nice. So then it even goes, I couldn't have done it without read. Really? Like you didn't fucking win an award

I know okay come on. You're not parasite. So she tell She tell you're not parasite. It's a great movie. I want you to see it Aviva tells Ramona it was really hard Ramona and Ramona goes well here folks on positive things One of those things not being that you're here, okay? I think something chummy so I could fuck on it And by the way for the record Sonia did say it's so good you made it just want to put that out there Okay, just want to like oh yeah I did say it's so good you made it. Just wanna put that out there, okay? Just wanna like, I'm not a good person. Oh yeah, so new, just a bundle of hugs this episode towards Aviva.

But Aviva doesn't deserve it either, you know? So Aviva and Reed bring, do we ever find out what those presents were? Probably like, No, I don't think Paul's from Marvel. Yes, Marriott. Yes, because Aviva's like, here's some gifts I brought you.

Not there from my friends. It's like she's trying to advertise her other friend things. By the way, go buy my mom's pearls. Yeah, the touch of last year done. So, they have presents and everything's happy. And Ramona is like, son gets naked. So she can't come out right now. Also, she hates you.

Okay, pull noodle. So, V you, okay, pool noodle. So Viva's like, everyone came over to us, except for Ramona and Sonia, who were lingering under this ridiculous charade that we had caught them topless. They knew we were coming. Like, they were topless in the pool, just look. They knew we were coming, like it's this big plot

to show boobies to read. Oh! So read Heather tells read well one of the themes of this trip has been nudity. Read's like bye I'm gonna be in the back house I don't want to see any of this. It's like actually I'm here to work so I'm gonna go upstairs to do my work everyone because where'd you going? And he goes I'll be here but you know I've calls I have things to do you did great at Viva And he goes, I'll be here, but you know, I've calls. I have things to do. You did great at Viva. Congratulations. You're amazing.

I'll be upstairs. And Sonny goes, well, he made it very clear that he's here to work. So boom. I want time with Viva now. And then Sonia's doing so well. Like, it's all going so well. And then she goes, oh, Reed, we were so afraid

you'd be in Albatross. Hey, Ramona, he's not you'd be in Albatross. Hey, Ramona, he's not gonna be in Albatross. Yeah. Who says that? Who says that to someone? So do you in Ramona. We were worried you're ruined everything, but since you're gonna stay in the back house,

you won't ruin anything. Thank you. So in the kitchen, they move inside and everyone's like, cheers, you can do it, you can do the Viva and it's like you look so happy And she's like decompressing have you guys been at the pool and Heather's like yeah, they're at the pool every night make it make it. I can see there's a minute every night. I can always see they're high So so Carol goes upstairs to get changed for us and So Carol goes upstairs to get changed. And Ramona is like, oh, whoa. Maybe Russ is in Carol's room.

I mean, he's in the room. He's in the room. Where's Mario? Huh? Where's Mario? Where's Jacques? Just kidding. Jacques jumped away on the phone last night after she had sex with a pirate that she calls the Italians.

Where's Mario? Huh? Yeah, because Ramona is really mad that she got to bring her husband, but she didn't get to bring Mario and we just bring Jacques. And Aviva goes, actually, I invited Mario. He was about to come down, but he said something about nanny auditions. Not really, sir, but I tried. That has double meaning given Sonia's, I mean,

Aviva's relationship with the franchise, or just so you know. So yeah, it's like literallyia's, I mean the Aviva's relationship with the franchise are just so you know. So yeah, it's like literally the day. Yeah. It's the shopping. So Sonia's like, no, no, no, here's the thing. Okay, you know Ramona just felt that if Reed was coming, the Marriots should come, but I said, no, Aviva has trauma and is crazy as an awful person.

So she can't be away from her husband. But Ramona, you can hang out with me. Even like, what the fuck? The beef is like, he's not coming here to watch you guys get drunk in party. Everyone's like, we don't get drunk. We're not drunk. All right, you know what? Could you guys do me a favor and thank him because I had to beg him to come down to this beautiful All-Expense Pay, a tropical island in a mansion. I had to back him back him. Just thank him

Silver money goes. Let's just take up one step at a time of K Ziva. We just had to read, we just had to read the adjust that he was coming. So Viva's like, you don't have anything negative to say about read coming. Do you Ramona? She's ready to earn that paycheck at least. You know what, for someone who's like very proud that she went to law school, she should have known, you never asked her question, you don't wanna get an answer too.

Okay. So Ramona's like, oh you, you like at me? No, I'm asking you a question. You don't have anything negative to say about read being here to you and there's a big long pause and then Ramona's like, would you say that being here, change the time, yeah, you changed it like that?

Yeah, tie. Tie. The Ramona's not sure whether to retreat or not. She's like, just like am I gonna fight with this bitch? I'm not sure. Listen, I just think I could change the dynamic. I could go from being a really fun vacation

to the worst vacation I've ever been on. That's all, not negative. Just theoretical. So Viva's like, I have anxiety out there, you know, Sonya says, well, we thought he was staying in a hotel. He's like, he got me here. In a plane, I banged in.

And Aviva is now getting mad. She's getting mad at Ramona. And by the way, Luana's just sitting there like this, just smiling, like, have fun with this one Ramona. So Aviva Ramona is like, Aviva's missing point. Don't yell at me. Don't yell at me. I'm a white point. Don't yell at me. Don't yell at me.

I'm a white lady. Don't yell at me. So then, a fee by yells. It's everybody just knock out of the stairs and put their arms around him and say, thank you for bringing our friend in here. Sonny goes, we did thank him. I said, thank you.

Run, because we did. We did. Enough already. I mean, what do I have to do? And grieve it on my head. Thank you. Read across my press, across my fly. What do you want me to do? Okay. And it sounds so dramatic, but then in the next episode, there should be a banner. So this is where Ramana, Viva's getting mad. This is where Ramana goes, calm down, calm down. Take a banner. My husband just did an amazing thing, an amazing thing right now. Take a Zadax!

And Aviva goes, I don't need a Zadax, I just need my husband. What have you been married two weeks? Who the fuck would choose a husband over a Zadax? That's just crazy, dog. Sounds just crazy. Sounds stupid. So Luanne's like, oh, I can help here. I mean, come on guys, you were just saying to me yesterday How are we gonna tell Reed to leave? Bye. We're gonna say bye. I'm your upstairs And if he was like, how dare you he didn't come here to watch you get drunk or swim making in the pool

He came down here to help me get on the plane You know what you make me very anxious right now, okay? Maybe very anxious and sorry sorry very anxious This is getting disgusting and you were gonna ask him to leave and so he was like well We just want you to be with us. It was what we were saying and Viva and you. And you. And then a Viva goes, these are not friends supporting friends.

I was like, whoa. Viva. I support other women, okay? What's there you? Whoa, Aviva, whoa, whoa. It's disgusting. Disgusting. Do not shake your head at me.

Romona, I heard you were mean and didn't mean things. It's like when Heather came to your house in the Hampton, did you told her she talked too much? You're an ungracious lady. I heard, I heard you're a mean. I heard you did mean things. And I gave you the benefit of the doubt. And I'm disappointed.

You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly.

You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, quite frankly. You're both white trash, and you. And you. And you. So there are moments like, well, Luian, Luian said the dinnabies get a change. So go yell her too. Go yell her too. And we have like, bye bitch, I'm with the pirate. And Romanga's quite Luian. You with Instigator?

Luian, you're always an Instigator. Oh, what did I do? So it's trying, you know what? She was trying to make it nice, nice. And you made an Instigator. Oh, what did I do? So what's trying, you know what? She was trying to make it nice, nice, and you made an instigator. I just told it like it was. It's like my favorite song. Hit it, boys.

I tell it like it is. I tell it like it is. We're gonna hate to leave a bind. Yeah. So Sonia's had a sec. This is a girl's vacation. Did you get the memo? Girls be having badly in a house? And Aviva says, well thank you for telling me to leave.

That's Sonia's like, I mean it's really amazing, I welcome Aviva to the house, I open her gift, and the next you know, I'm white trash. I'm like all those things can go ex exist very easily, just so you know. So then Aviva's up with Reed storming back and forth and she's like, I think we should go to a hell. Heather and Carol called and begged us to come and the other girls just don't feel the same. You know what? Everyone's begging Aviva for something in all times. Yeah.

Please Aviva go. So Carol walks in so Aviva starts selling Carol what happened. And she goes, you know, I don't want my husband in a house where the girls are not rolling out the red carpet for him, opening their hearts and arms and saying, Raid, you are so fabulous. And he's like, I don't need that sweetheart, but you sure did a great job saying that. God, you were great at saying that.

I'm not staying here under these conditions. These conditions, you're in a fucking huge mansion, St. Barbs that you're not paying for. Have an apple. A Viva is like, well, I need it. And that is unacceptable. They said, Reed should see it in a hotel. So I'm going to a hotel.

You asked them to leave Heather or I'm your Carol. And Carol's like, oh, you have had your moment. Please, Mr. Nick, pass it in, Nick, and please continue ahead. Journalism. Mr. McCarthy, have you no decency? Ah. So you know Decently tear down this

Oh Oh God a batch of carols the one to take down the Berlin wall she'd be like Everyone's like we've been waiting for this for like 30 years. Can you like? I'm trying the best that I can for like 30 years, can you like? I'm trying the best that I can. So then Ramona and Sonia, Sonia's like, should I just hug her? I'm gonna just go hug her and pat her on the head, like I do to you in the morning.

I mean, it's your soapist off. And Ramona's like, okay, I'll come with you. It's like, no Ramona, no. I'm gonna try and make it better. You're not gonna come with me, okay? And Ramona's like, well, what is it? We, remember, she started this whole day thought the wind, what's your men? So the Mewiva is still ranting. She's like, that I was

welcomed with my husband with any kind of grace or elegance or kindness is disgusting. And quite frankly, it's very low class behavior, low class meaning uneducated, no manas behavior, I'm John. The damage is done, okay? This one is about a Viva. This one's just like it's always about your amount of this one's about a Viva. And Heather goes, but if Viva, do you know how hard it was for me to spend an entire week with Ramona? It's like, but I did it. Yeah. It's like asking new people in the army not to go through basic training.

It's just something you have to do. Yeah. And if even it goes, but she didn't come for your husband or your children. And you know what? Do you know what I would have expected? A party. A party. A party.

I'm happy to announce that after all these years It's time to finally give her her party that she's always needed Yeah, people are party Okay, okay, okay, be the party. You're so strong in my heart. OK, OK, OK. That's all she gets. Oh my god, O'Bea. She'd be mad at her too. To the fire, you want to talk about going to the fire.

That was really went through the fire. Not you, Shaka Khan. Into the fire. You know what? Like Shaka Khan said, I feel for you. I feel for you that you were so ungracious. Oh my God. So, Lewand, we go into this hole. You're not leaving Aviva. Are you? Is Aviva leaving? Is Aviva leaving? So I was taking notes on Real House

Us in New Jersey from last night, right after this, and it's still the same shit all these years later. Theresa, are you leaving? Jen, you can't leave the tree! And it's amazing how I'm still like drawn in every single time. I'm like, God, there you need it! It's great!

Who will leave the party? Yeah. So yeah, so yeah, so let me even want to party. So now we go back over to Ramona's room and Luan walks in. Yes, hush. So Ramona, the Viva party is over and now everyone must be silent.

So we're in Ramona's room and Luan walks in and Ramona's like, oh, Luan, Luan, I'm gonna, you, you're misdiplomat, you didn't diplomat shit, okay? You didn't tip-limat shit, okay? You didn't tip-limat shit. So now they're all fighting and the way I'm just like what did I do? What did I do? I mean, oh, surely I'm not the one who said I wouldn't want to be the stupid ugly husband to be here like I didn't start anything. All I started was great music for people who appreciate great cabaret.

That's what I started. And then Ramona is like all up in the way on space. She's like, no, you did it, you did it, you did it. They're like inches from each other, like screaming at each other. And I swear to God, this is the only show on Brava where they can be screaming in each other's faces. And again, the music's like, done, tta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt t Because I told you she's gay, she's super sweet, so I'm kind of... So they're screaming and yelling and then Sonia's just drunk.

She comes down and she's a Viva just down on the patio and she goes, Hi, Viva. Look at this dress, you okay? And Viva's like, I'm honestly disgusted. I'm disgusted by you. You know what? I went to law school and I went to Vassar. And I speak several languages. And I hear and I understand everything, particularly

things that have to do with Vassar. And I heard that you didn't even want my husband at breakfast. And suddenly it's like, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. For sure, if you heard everything, you heard me say, I'm so happy that your husband brought you, right? And she goes, well, here's three things I heard. One, you and Ramona were afraid to read would change the dynamic.

And Sonya's like, true. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Two, I heard that you didn't want to miss breakfast. True. She's a good lawyer. Three, I heard that you didn't want to mitt breakfast. True. She's a good lawyer. Three, I heard that you were gonna have a vote to kick him out. I said, I don't remember that part, but the first part, true.

True. And Carol has now crawled down the stairs and is literally sitting at the bomb stair, can I? Can I? Should I? Can I interrupt? Carol called me and said, please, I beg you to come here

and bring Reid, she begged. And Sony was like, well, you know, Carol changed her trip, too, actually. And Carol goes, now Carol did not change anything. And Carol is sitting here right now. Will you please concede the floor? The segment has been sponsored by Zest. You're not fully clean until you're Zest fully clean. President Reagan. She's like a newscaster in 1916.

She's doing the commercials too. She's doing the full newscast. That's what they used to do back then. It would be like a black and white show and they're like, I love you, Ricky Ricardo. And we love Ozark, you know. It's like a podcast basically. Yeah.

So now, yeah. So yeah, it's like way better. Like let's be honest. So it is yeah. So, yeah, so way better. Like, so in the size of flip the flip the script by saying, you know what? I'm going to leave. I'm going to leave. And I've even like, this isn't about girls week. It's about vassar, you know? And this is about somebody from vassar who has anxiety and can't get on a plane, especially because there are no planes that leave directly from vassar. And the only way I't get on a plane, especially because there are no planes that lead directly from Vassar.

And the only way I could get on the plane that wasn't from Vassar was to have him, my husband, who I did not meet at Vassar, with me in a non-Vassar plane. Thank you. And now Ramona. Now Ramona, to just when Ramona's just had it, and she can't yell at anybody anymore and she can't win.

She just comes in and goes, She's got bangs like this by the way. She's just, K, can the curling iron out of her bangs and it's like a water bottle on the her hair. She's got like that upstate in New York look going on. Albany. She's like, this, I'm sorry. K, hey, this is stepping. Buck. I'm shaking. Okay, good bumps Look I'm shaking I really care about you

Glad I glad that you came Can we just stop now go and soon you're like yeah, we just want to spend time with you She's so you can't talk Now go and soon you're like yeah, we just want to spend time with you. She's showing you can't talk. I don't know how you want to read. You know what? If you want to read, here's the point. You want to be supportive.

Just tell me. I'm going to do it. Can you? Can you? Can we, like, can we just, like, because I can't? I can't. She starts doing that fake cry. I just can't.

I just can't. I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can, I can, I can't, I can, I can, I can't, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can't she starts doing that fake cry. I just I. Please, can a man just lock the door and watch some porn already? My God. No. So Ramona gives us like the philosophy of Ramona's singer, which is just such an inside and dormant. You know what? If I did something wrong, I say sorry. If I don't do something wrong, I don't apologize. No. Unless Viva, it's just got a complain and it's traumatized. That's a crazy lunatic, and then I just say sort of

calm it out. Yes. So basically your SARS are totally insincere. That's what your band-aid said. OK, great. So Heather and Carol are so mad, you know, because these ladies have taken another episode and just ran away.

So Heather and Carol are walking down the driveway. And Heather's like, let's get ready. We miss the fucking concert. What the fuck? No. I just sound, no, she says fuck. And she goes, and it sounds like it was a cluster you know what? You just said fuck twice.

Maybe. And Carol goes, cluster fuck? It's like, yes. Did you learn that in prison? So, yeah, so Sonia is now, Sonia now is mad. Like it's like, finally like processed in her brain that she's been called white trash and everything. And now she's mad and was like, let it go, okay, you know, life is too short.

So Sonia is now starting to build up. And meanwhile, Luanne goes up to Carol because Carol said because she missed Russ's dress rehearsal for like hearing, don't stop believing or something. So so Luanne's like, oh, Carol, Carol, I'm so sorry about how this all went down. My stomach is in knots that you missed. Whatever it was, you were going to miss new person. Bye. Some of his in knots that you missed, whatever it was, you were gonna miss new person, bye. It was a young person in a German rock band.

But instead, I'm running around in between everybody. It's like I told Mountain Blue Doc Dimmich ad when he won the presidency of the Palestinian Authority last month. I'm a reporter. Ah. Okay, so then I cut to Sonya like... Oh, she's crying!

How could she? And then thea was like, you know as soon as you suck up to her, she's fine. Well, I'm not dealing with ego bitches. I trusted her, alright. I thought I had a real friend there. I have turned a corner. I don't need new friends.

Okay, so the girls all go to dinner together and they decide they're gonna work lit addresses. So you Ramon and Heather are all gonna work lit addresses. So they all go to dinner and then Sonia's like, oh really we're gonna be nice to a V of us. She called this white trash. You remember that? Oh, so I forgot my credit card with the Chinese. Oh my butt still hurts more than anal last night. Which is not white trash, by the way. Uhhh, I hope not. Hahaha.

Otherwise, the gay community has some real issues. Guilty. Sorry, you don't need to have that in your- I don't even need to have that in my head. I just pictured myself having butt sex and was like, that's enough. So, this is how I have sex. It's like Ramona being escorted from a helicopter. Yes. Or like Vicki being taken out of it.

You know, taking out of them. I'm tri-app. Vicki being taken out of the. I'm tri-app. Vicki being taken out of the real housewives franchise. And it ends and I'm like, in my mind, I did great. So that's all that matters. Is this your towel? This is not my towel. I don't know why I wipe myself with that.

It belongs to Reed and you should apologize to him. Walk up those stairs and tell Reed read you're a great man with wonderful towels. I shouldn't have touched it. I'm gonna burn my hand off now because I touched greatness when I shouldn't have. So Heather basically sums Ramona up because Ramona is like hey Heather, hey, here's the trophy you have okay okay? And Heather's like, oh, Ramona Singer, do you mean my best friend? One thing I've learned about Ramona Singer, besides naked, is that she doesn't like to fight with more than one person at a time.

Which is so true. It is so true. The Ramona needs everybody to be on her side against that one person, you know? So they're being super nice to Aviva, even though Ramona tries some, she's like, Aviva, why don't you sit over there by the trash can? Aviva's like, why should I do that Ramona? Why should I do that Ramona?

Nothing. Why should I do that Ramona? Why should I do that? No, let's have fun. The way I was like, drop it. So then they're all nice. Like, look, we're all friends. We're all school group.

The mojo is on. We all have the mojo. Everyone loves it. And then Aviva goes up to go to bathroom. They're like, she's a vicious group him. The mojo is on. We all have the mojo. Everyone loves it. And then the Viva goes up to go to bathroom. They're like, she's a vicious bitch. Yeah. So, and she called this white trash. That's very hurtful.

And Carol's like, well, like Prime Minister Ariel she owns it. I'm quitting this liquid party to join a more centrist organization Called my boyfriend Rassus in town. I'm a reporter Can you tell I just googled news stories from this year? So So Carol's like I'm gonna visit Ross

So, uh, so Carol's like, I'm gonna visit Ross. I think it was like, oh, you get to visit Ross, that's not gonna tune to dynamic, huh, huh, huh. And Carol's like, you know what, I think you should apologize to Sonia for calling your white trash. You should have called her entitled white trash. Yeah. And Veeves like, I will not apologize.

And then she tells us, I'm very sorry for the words I used. That's what Rush Limbaugh said when he called someone a whore. I was like, sick burn of Viva. Yeah, I've been like, I've only smile you see from a Viva this whole episode. And then when we see the previews for what's coming up next week, it's Ramona and Sonia Googling white trash. And Ramona goes, you see Ramona goes white trash versus cracker versus hillbilly Sonia goes oh I mean a hillbilly can make you feel

welcome welcome to my trailer hello that's welcoming I'm not brings us to the end I'm real awesome thank you guys thank you Austin thank you for participating in this Aviva party. You did it. You made it. We're putting up a banner. Good night everyone. Thank you guys. We love you guys. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. at 1dry.com slash survey.