Watch What Crappens - Crappie Lake: Put Your Thing Down, Flip It, and Rehearse It

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

Lu's brother comes to town to flip some motel rooms, and the Follies enters rehearsal on Luann and Sonja: Welcome to Crappie Lake (S01E06).Watch the recap here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/87525128See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What happens What happens What happens Watch what What happens

What happens when there's so much that crap is Who cares what What happens Kids, what happens when they're so wild and rapids? You're a crap. Oh, but you don't really know how to rap. Kids, what happens when they're so much that happens? Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crapins, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mantleker, joining me today.

The one and only hilarious Mr. Ronny Karam. Hi, Ronnie, how are you? Hi, Henny, how are you? I'm doing pretty good I cut some onions today and I was like I'm gonna pre cut these onions and I'm gonna put them in the Dutch oven so that when we're done recording I can just go down there and start dinner immediately because I'm having some people over for dinner and guess what now it smells like bio in my house and people are gonna come over and be like, oh wow, Ronnie is not taking a shower to a long time, so thanks for having us over.

You stinky fuck. Well, once you start cooking those onions, it'll permeate the house and it'll smell wonderful in there. As opposed to me right now, who actively smells like B.O. I can't blame it on any onions. How delicious. Thelish. You know, look, it's almost like I've been sleeping

in a hot, sweaty motel. Just like. The fresh is a fucking daisy myself. Well, anyway, today we're here to talk about the Wannand Sonia, welcome to Crapid Lake. Before we dive into that, come watch our videos. The videos are, we put them on YouTube, but they go to Patreon first with the crap is on demand.

Support us with crap is on demand. And you get access to these videos exclusively for a week before they go onto YouTube. So check that out, patreon.com, slash watch or crap. And also be sure to follow us on Instagram, at what crap ends, at Ronnie Caram, at Ben Mandelker, because we have launched a brand new call in IG live show. It's sort of like, it's the next iteration of Take a Seat. It's called Crapy Hour, much like the Crapy Hour. That's,

you know, I'm hope to enjoy later this evening, but with a cocktail and happy. So come join us for that because it was really fun. We got our first one and it was super, we just had a great time chatting with you guys all and talking about those shit. So that is all the big exciting news. And now let's dive back into crappy lake, which opens with a hot tub arriving at this Benton Motel. I think it's called the Benton Motel. I actually don't really remember. But this hot tub of thing to load. Okay, you just really gave it too much credit there. It's a motel. I think hotel. No, I didn't say hotel. I said, but maybe it sounded like hotel. Maybe I was just checking my texts. It got a bit. So either way. Maybe I just want to

correct you today for things that you didn't do wrong. How about that? Well, it's possible. I said hotel by accident and just, you know, maybe it was a Freudian slave. How about I just give you a shit for the rest of this episode. You could. It's the end of our week.

You could. I don't care. I'm going to become that kind of husband today. And we're like, wrong. Why did it do on dwell hello? So it's fine. Oh, man, no, man. Listen, we correct each other

because we're just trying to make the best possible product, okay? We're just trying to be as correct as possible, guys. So the Aloha Hot-Ted people come over. And Luan and Sonia are dressed like they're going to like a singles. I mean, I don't know what the, how to even describe how Luhana's dressed specifically, but she's in a skin type mini dress and like high heels that have the straps wrapped around her cap.

Gladieta style, right? To watch a hot tub be put in. This is the most exciting thing that's happened to the town in quite some time. Okay, hot tub arrival. So they've ordered a hot tub to up the profile of this motel. And, well, everybody loves a hot tub. I mean, isn't that right?

That's what we figure. You know, we want to like generate more tourism here. So you know what they say? Come for the hot tub, stay for the roaches. So now they're driving around and the way I'm like, yeah, I mean, it just needs a little hot tub. Little hot tub, juzz. And so many says, yeah, it just needs a little sprucing up.

P.S., I need to post about my armpit class here. I'm not gonna get paid for that. Do you anywhere you see a good background? P.S. I need to post about my armpit class year. I'm not going to get paid for that. Anywhere you see a good background? Yeah, because they're brainstorming. This is like a flashback. They're brainstorming on what they could do to fix the hotel. And the way I'm like, you know what? They need to redo the vanities and do some painting. And they both are like, hot tub. There it is. So, Luan's like, so are any of these people single. And Cindy from Aloha, the hot tub lady is like,

ah, no. Oh really? Well, we have a surprise. Hey, Akash, come over here. We have a surprise for you. Guess what it is. He's like, a hot tub. Hot tub.

It's like, I'm gonna guess based on the hot tub truck in the front yard and the people in the hot tub uniforms and also the giant hot tub. It's a little silly. A chorus line. The music and the mirror and the chance to dance for you to ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, is the local water okay to fill up the hot tub with or does it have? Does it have fish bones in it? I'm just not sure.

It's like, yeah, no, it's fine. So I'm just like, are we gonna get yeast infections? And it's like, no, no, no, not from this kind of hot tub. I got a yeast infection for my ice machine once. The ice was brown, don't ask. I won't. Well, you know, well, it's got, it's cleaning out these jets, Lou.

Okay, let's get the hose right in the hole and clean it. Okay, we gotta do that. So Lou, I'm like, oh, I got a hose. No, I'm gonna do something wild and wacky get over here Akash God, we got to spray that stink off him finally been here five weeks in spurs bath So they wackily spray each other with the hose with the hot tub jets and stuff and then Sony is shoving the hose up her Who-ha or up Lou and who-ha and Akash like, I can't believe a guest would buy me a hot tub. Maybe Rose's, but a hot tub? Oh, don't worry, we didn't pay anything, it's gonna get repossessed in about a week. So it's like, you know, the hotel doesn't even have a pool.

I mean, it doesn't have tennis, it doesn't have a gift shop, it doesn't have a spa, it doesn't have an elevator, it doesn't have, doesn't have tennis, he doesn't have a gift shop, doesn't have a spa, he doesn't have an elevator, he doesn't have, doesn't have made service. You know what, I'll say I'm actually not even sure it has a roof. So the point is it needs a hot tub. But hey, this can be an attraction. Plus, this is the place that we finally buried pickles.

Who? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that out loud. So Sony is like, so now a big truck comes up and Sony is like, who's this hot guy? And the one's like, oh my God, it's my brother. And we meet Mike, lose brother. Yeah, she basically asked him to come help renovate the hotel because he's a project manager and he can fix anything. And so he's like, oh, I've known Mike for it since forever. He came to my divorce party. He fucked me behind the web bar. I know I'm like, he has the same ethic as Luan, which is not much, but just

coast off other people's success. So the whole family does. They're great. Hopefully he can renovate like she can sing. Wait a minute. Okay, I'll rethink that plan, but he has very hands on it. Hopefully he can renovate the way she picks out men. Wait, no, that's not gonna work either. Hmm, he's married. I mean, he didn't have hands on me.

I'm very close to his wife, so. Hmm, so they're in the truck now and Sonia and Lou were talking and she's like, so, how do you know how to get to the adoption center and then you put it on the ways? He's like, why don't you just give me directions? You're terrible copi, Sonia Rita. Well, it's not my job, Lou. You know, put it in your ways. It's like, why don't you just give me directions? You're terrible copi, it's only Rita. Well, it's not my job, Lou.

You know, put it in your ways like everyone else and you know where you're going. Well, it's only three minutes away. I know everything's three minutes away here, including my next orgasm. So they go to the dog center that they were at last week and the dog run is now done. The dogs are outside. They're barking. They're happy. Bobby Overturf is finally happy. And she's like, yeah, everything they gave us been awesome. And it's just like really cute. All the dogs running around and the dogs are happy.

And much more adoptable because they're not being maniacs. And probably it's like they've been running around all morning, ladies. These people just adopted a dog and the one's like hello little boy did you find a dog? And so I mean it's like it's just so hard to adopt one when there's 17 of them yapping at each other know what I mean It's also the note they gave us before they fired everyone from round the So So mayor Fred is there with his wife Kay and somebody was you know, every dog should be allowed to shit outside now. And because of me and Lou, now they can. Oh yeah, let's watch this dog poop. Alright, well, this is great and glad we drove out to the middle of Illinois to watch a dog shit on a grass pad.

This is all the first, this is also the first time in like over a decade of seeing Sonya on TV that Sonya's ever carried about dogs pooping outside. Sonya's dog has pooped everywhere inside. Like she's classic for letting, bringing her dog in and letting it poop everywhere, right? So, Sonya's like, it's better to poop outside, right, Lou? And the one's like, all right.

Like I don't know how many of these threads I need to go down with you, you know? You know? At the end of the day, it's just a fence, right? A bunch of wires and holes. But you know what? It's gonna keep the strange people bent in a way for me.

And for that, I'm grateful. Thank you, fence. So, the ones I could have here, let's put the grass together. So they all grew pug and the ones like The one gets her little speech and Sony's like oh my god these dogs need to run some of these bitches are in heat same bitches same

So now it's 10 days until the Benton follies and Loan and Sonia enter the auditorium. And there's a guy at the piano who's like their musical accompaniment. And he's like talking to Bill. And the guy's already complaining. He's like, you know, it's just it's fresh running for me because, you know, I'm giving all those, oh, hi, hi ladies, hi ladies.

So they walk in and we find out his name is Courtney Cox. Oh, is that really Courtney Cox? His name is Courtney Cox. Oh, is that really Courtney Cox? His name is Courtney Cox. Oh my God. I thought they said, no, his name is Courtney. And then his name is Courtney. And Luke goes Courtney Cox. And Luke said, I love all the Cox family.

And Luke's like not related to Courtney Cox, right? And he says no, but she owes me money. And they're like, why? And he goes for using my name. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. So, wait, so does that mean his name is Courtney Cox? I mean, there was a few of them. I'm confused about what I'm currently.

I'm confused about what I'm correcting you on now. His name really is more like, there's a lot of slides. I'm really glad slide. No, I don't want to let it. It's like, I don't want to be right about something. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna look it up. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be right now.

Just run my whole day. Fuckin' I thought I was gonna be right about it. Because it's really right about it. That's so cute. Well, so, let's see. So Bill's like, all right, so got it. Court, that was funny. So the way I was like, well, we've been working on a Benton song. All right. We've got Benton so surprised when they

saw these girls, boy, they were surprised when we came in, we said, surprise. All right, well, it's just rhyming, surprise and surprise, could you maybe do something with eyes, keep them to yourself, Courtney, all right? Yeah. His name is Courtney Cox, by the way, it's on the screen. It is official, his name is Courtney Cox.

I would take a screen grab, but because of cooperating issues, it would just show up as a black screen. But trust official. His name is Courtney Cox. I would take a screen grab, but because of cooperating issues, we would just show up as a black screen. Well, congratulations on being correct again today. Wow. Well, this way I was saving for me so far. I just was saving off like lots of internet comments like, no, his name really is Courtney Cox. I just I'm cutting it off. I'm saving us both the time and the energy. So, the thing that kills me is like, I'm taking such good notes on this show. I mean, it takes me an hour and a half to take notes

on this stupid 20 minute show. And then I get Courtney Cox wrong, and I love Courtney Cox. Well, it just shows you love the actress, but maybe not the pianist. I don't love the pianist. Nothing like, I don't really love a moody, well, that's not true. I do love one of my best friends is a moody pianist.

For the most parts, I don't though. I'm like, listen, I get it's difficult, but your job is to play my job is to sing. Nobody needs to hear what's coming from your vocal cords right now. Okay, complaining, Jane, quiet. So, another, yeah, they're working on this song. I love one, Luann's like, she's like, no, I write a lot of my own music. Oh my God, I'm basically a songwriter. You know, I write my own music.

And so, and he's like, I write my own orgasms. Never do the same one twice. So, I'm basically on the same level. Courtney Cox goes, are your ranges close? Not familiar with that term. Okay. When you sing, did you hit a lot of notes? Mm, the term notes.

Can you explain what that is at pertaining to music? And say the writer. So you's like, I don't know what either one of us and nothing either one of us would really have what you'd call range and Courtney's like, okay, well, are you sopranos or altos? Well the countess is more like Auto-bass meat grinder meat being put through a Gratis while it's still living. Is gravel is gravel an option? Have you ever heard a spoon get dropped down a

disc disposal and then disposal being turned on? Have you ever heard that sound? What about the the banished soul re-emerging from a grave into another human form? Is that a as that a tier that we can discuss? Duh, all right. Well, here's how we want it. We want it fun. All right. We got to bantin, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, Irish! Her example is like something is in your city! Sit, sit, sit, sit! You know more rappi like Billy Ilik. You know upbeat and fun and happy like Billy Ilik, you know? Why is it weird? Yeah not loody. Fucking Billy Ilik. So I went to see Barbie with my family. We loved it, right? I'm with the girls like girl

power with all my girls. You know, it was a good, it was a good like girl power movie. Okay, so at end we watch all the credits because they're so cute. I love the movie. So then the credits end and then they start the real credits and fucking Billy Eilish comes on with that song. What the fuck is that? And then we all start sobbing in the movies because we're also emotional already. Can we stop?

And also, can we stop playing that in the home goods? I don't need to be crying, thinking about a Barbie movie and a home goods. Billy Eilish always sounds like you just called her up and she woke up out of a net. Like you just woke her up. She's like, Oh man, when I was real, what was I made for? I was like,

do you need to go back to sleep? I can call you later. I'm like, I made for. You're the bad one. I was a made for. You're the bad one. What was the reason? It was for you for everything. I was a doll. I'm barbie, what was I made for?

I was like, Billy, honestly, like, I don't have to, it's not pressing. I'll just call, just call me back when you're awake. No, I'm awake, I'm awake. You didn't even pass me a break. I was gonna listen to this and depressing shit. I'll put on some Adele. Okay, Adele knows what she's made for, to be broken up with.

Okay, she's not a woman with sadness with purpose. Okay, you listen to Adele. You know she's gonna be empowered for about five minutes before she gets dumped for the next hour of songs. Okay. I don't need this aimless depression from Billie Eilish. Well, is it made for? Get off the road. How about that?

You're sticking me in traffic because you're driving too slowly, okay? I need to pay attention to Preci Jesse, Jesus. So Sonia's, Sonia's like, yeah, make this rap-y. We're gonna do this rap-y like Billie Eilish. And so Courtney Cox, like, I don't know, so he starts doing like a boom, tt tt ttuh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh Well, listen, you know I'm a songwriter. I do have a Pandora station. I've written over six songs.

His Pandora is still a thing, today still have that. For the wann it just like no, it's an actual, when I say Pandora station, I mean the in-house station that Pandora stores play when you go to select that your jewelry. You need to put your, we also have a songwriter and this group and his name is Ben Mandelker and Ben actually wrote a song called I have a Pandora station. I know and I had to name it because it was not you weren't allowed to have a song called I have a Pandora station on Apple. Really?

Yeah, because it's like a real song that's actually registered with ASCAP. And I said, I named it, I have a Pandora station, and then ASCAP tried to, or the service tried to submit it to the Apple Music Store and Apple Music rejected it, so I had to change its name to Forever Countess. That is so funny. Okay, will you put it at the end of this episode? Yes. I have a Pandora Station. I have a Pandora Station. I have a Pandora Station.

Give me across the nation. You might run in Marathons, but I get listens in Kazakhstan or something like that. Oh, so good. I ran, I have, how do I run marathon? Cause it was at the height of the Carol. Oh, listen to me, I'm like, literally doing David Foster, doing a documentary.

Oh, that song, when I wrote that song. Yeah. When I was writing one of my six tunes. So we get a list of her songs. What do I want for Christmas? Which she absolutely 100% did not write. We know that. We saw these on the show that you didn't write these

Louanne where are you pretending you wrote the she say the V I don't think she wrote that money camp by you class did not write feeling Giovanni most certainly did not right and Viva the diva you did not write these songs or what are you just gonna go claim cats you can't do that Well, it's funny. You should mention that because my new musical cats is coming out. So it's a musical, but it's about cats. Okay, it checks the poetry of STLE and it sets it to music. I've been doing shows about pussy for years in my right quart. So, no, they're singing their song and Bill is so funny, Bill is just like recording on his phone and

Louis ends like, okay, some instructions, okay. So when I do, never seen two girls like us, okay, when I do that, that's when you want a little, a little, a ba ba ba on the piano, like, no, let, no, Lou, let's follow him, let's follow him on the piano. no let no loot let's follow him let's follow him on the piano no no but we're the artists he follows no but you follow we follow Courtney Cox okay Courtney Cox the actual famous person here he follows you trust me listen what you if you want people to follow you to carry around some bongos it works every time and Sonia's like she just wants to do a good job for the town. True dad. Am I right Billy Alec? But don't get so caught up in the jiggity-jiggity

details in my rye. Okay here we go. Okay when we... I just just a note for everyone here, creative note, from the songwriter. Okay when we first got to Benton, now you've got to make Benton big, so Benton, Benton, really, really sell it, sell it, Benton. So the ones like two syllables, two syllables. All right, we're gonna need to take five, take nine, we need some time. And bills like all these girls are, they're hard to remember right place, they're full of sugar and goodness,

but, go, only they need to work a little harder on musicianship. Okay, you know what, I've got an idea. Courtney, why don't you work on the song a little bit? And by song, I mean, the general sketchy outline of a concept that we have, and we'll work on the song a little bit too, as then we'll just go to Derek Wien, and then we'll just meet up in a couple of days.

And Courtney's like, the fuck with these ones? She's like Courtney, put your name into 4-1-1, Courtney Cox, and call a girl with actual talent. And once you've had a nice meeting with old court, get back to us, all right. So they go back to the motel, and basically Mike Lewand's brother is going to do, he's going to do the renovation like, the plan is like right now. So Sonia's like Sonia's like okay,

we got a chain to vanity in here. How about we put in a stainless steel sink? It's like stainless steel. We're going to make the Sonya Nuann sweets and maybe charge more for those, you know, maybe you know all this What she says she goes oh we can't like charge my room could be called the chic sweet I'm like when how are you not calling it the chic say less sweet She gets so close She's like well, what would I, but on my doors in attraction? Usually they say something like Lincoln slept here

or JP Morgan slept here. John Adams, how about with me, it's Sonya fucked here. And then they show a mock up of the hotel sign change to say Sonya fucked here. So she's like, so now that you understand, wants to remove this wall, you know, remove this vanity, then put a leg under here. Mike's like, uh, just put a vanity here and then a walk in closet, a hotel with a walk in closet. You don't need a walk in closet in a

motel room. Yeah. I don't think, I don't think, yeah, this is not where we're going for luxury closet accommodations. Mike's funny, he goes, Lueh owes me big time. I was on vacation in Canada having a ball. She wouldn't take no for an answer, so here I am. Let's just get this done. He goes, wow, he's like, you guys are really piling it on. And so Lueh goes, well, welcome to our world.

What if you guys had piled on? So if I go get into the truck and Sony is like, well, I thought we were gonna get help from Ben, my favorite contractor, however, he has COVID. So he's gonna lend us his tools. Never met a man that let's use his tools before. Not those tools. So they go to this garage kind of place.

And Ben is really, he's like there and he's like in a room. So I guess he got to Benton and got COVID and they have quarantined him in the back room of some like mechanic shop. So he's there and Luanne's like walking on carpet and was like, oh, oh, yes, finally real carpet. I've been wanting to walk on this for weeks and weeks. It's like my feet are fucking the plier right now. Wow, you might as well just call this a fire man.

It feels so good. And such is like a real carpet. God, thank God those carpets of the motel have been there for 30 years. That's over to my kids. Dear gutts and partners all over. I'm a hunter of hunters walking all over it. That's older than my kids. Dear gutton, hotness all over. I'm a hunter's walking all over it. That's what I'm walking on.

They wonder my feet are dirty. And it cauches, it's the asphalt. I'm telling you, walking around barefoot on the asphalt. So Sonia's now getting itchy. She's like, she's getting itchy under her brush drap and in her legs and everything because she's allergic to dust. So she's like, I'm getting itchy under her brush wrap and in her legs and everything, because she's allergic to dust.

So she's like, I'm getting itchy, I got the allergies and they find a, they find like a shop back so they're gonna haul that out. And she's like, whenever I get a dusty situation, you know what, my ears get itchy and then my crotch. And I'm just not gonna last much longer. So let's get this equipment out of here before I'm just like a full-on itchy lady

who just needs to get fucked for her allergies to go away. She's so gross. She's like my assholes are ready itching. That's where it starts, you know? So then she squats down to pick a tool up off the ground with her dresses a glove. I'm like, that's gonna help the grotch. I know. So yeah, it's a change of your legs, your breast strap, your ass crack, your ass hole. It's like, okay. So they go get some carpet or something, I don't know. And Sony is like, Mike, so you can get this done in three days.

That would be great. He's like, three days. I'm going to be here for five hours. It's definitely what you want. I have a pontoon that I rented in a lake in Quebec. I'm getting back to you that as soon as possible. So now they start like pulling apart the closet and like taking out the badadies and the wands like,

the wands like really excited. She's like, oh, this is amazing. Wow, if you were my brother, I'd fuck you right now. And Sonia, like while this is happening, while they're demoing the wands bathroom, Sonia's making a bubble bath. She's like giving a bubble bath tutorial in her bathroom. Yeah, Sonia's on her own plan and it's usual.

She's like, you know, I love it bath. Sometimes they only have showers, but I love baths. You turn them on water, you know? And then you put some soap in there. Then you put your toes in to make sure because sometimes people just get in and then they burn themselves. You know, when they burn yourself,

pitch your toe in first. Like how to do that? So then the way I was drilling the wall and she's like, you know, it's sometimes places only have showers and that doesn't work for me. You know what, you know what's great about baths? You have to use a tub. So here's the deal with tubs. Tubs are things that hold liquid.

Yeah, you're learning a lot. I understand. I'll go slower. Yeah. Leuand's like, a mic. Did you see that fly? He's been my roommate for weeks. He lays on more things in Sonya. It's incredible.

So now we go back to Sonya's room and it's time to renovate Sonya's. And Leuand's like, hey, Sonya Rita, take a watch this. Watch how mic does it. Look, watch, he's got to pull that sink off. You're gonna get so horny. Yeah, I got a take watch this watch how Mike does it look watch He's gonna pull that sink off you're gonna get so horny Yeah, I got a hot girl there. He's gonna pull it off. Oh, that's what they say about me Mike's like be careful with how this saw worse cuz once you get it in you can't get it out

Hey, that's what they say about me. You already use that one time That's what they say about me You're time. That's what they say about me. You already know that one. She's always like this after she takes the bubble bath. She gets herself horned up and gets on a loop. It's an itchy asshole loop. Okay, so yes, they've removed the sink and now it's like they need to haul it out and they need help.

And then it's like, so do you. So do you where is that bitch when you need her? It cuts her. Because along the way, like before they pulled out the sink, they felt like they pulled off like a strip of like, like, like, so I do whatever, whatever, whatever. For Mike. And so so I was like playing with it. And so now she was like outside in the parking lot,

pretending it's a whip and she's whipping things in the parking lot like a shot. And she's like putting it up against her head, like a headband. And she's like, focus, Sonya. She's slapping everyone's butts. And then she comes in and offers my Cajello shot, which I love that she's just made Jello shots in her parade.

Like, wow, you got all the luxuries here. Someone we see two older ladies sitting and it's Marci Allen and Lerese. And Lerese is like, I'm Lerese Lewis or Lerese. Mary Ellen, Aikon and Ruth Lewis. Oh, it's Ruth? How do I put Lerese? Lewis. Oh, it's Ruth. How about put Lorise? I'm sorry, I'm not.

Because you're a Lewis. You're a Lewis and Ruth got, I think, mixed up into Lewis. So it became Lorise. My next favorite movie, I'm completely out of it. I'm Mary Ellen Aikin. I think we're both real excited about the new talent show. Because I didn't know that Luan and Sonia were talented. And I can sing and dance.

It's like, oh God, who told you that? I know. We didn't know that either. So Ruth is like, well, we may be sorry about this. Can you believe that? I'm Mary Ellen's like, yeah, we may have to move. Yeah, so Sonia and Lu are way too dressed up to go to this thing. Lou's like an sparkly boob dress and she's wearing a blonde wig in her crazy Viva LaDiva hat thing. And she's like, it's our first rehearsal and at this point, I'm afraid to be

laughed off stage because of Sony, of course. I'll be fabulous. I mean, listen, lifetime achievement award. Six songs of my life. So it's nine days until the fall is, which is upside down number of six, which is the number of songs Lil' An has written and Bill's like, all right, okay, so women,

you guys, we're gonna do a tech rehearsal for lighting and sound, okay? Well, we only have one tech rehearsal and we only have one chance to get it right. It's like that rapper Reese's pieces one saying, you only get one chance, one shot, a du du du du du du du du du du du du du du du, you know the rest.

So let's start their tick rehearsal. So Bill gives a speech, he's like, everyone, thanks for being on time. We're gonna make this happen. And Louis, it's when I was like, no, no, girls, girls, girls, girls, girls, because this girl, this obvious dance squad, okay? They're all wearing their gym uniforms and they're sparkly

and they come out and they pose and wait for the music. And the man's like, girls, no, I need you to come out when the music starts. No, that's not how they have to be on there. That's where the dance starts. And they don't know how to tell her. So they're just like staring at her. She's like, no, you have to come out with the music.

Bill, dancers cannot come out without music. Music needs to start. Music first, little slot second, okay? So, it's like stem cell retainers after the music. Music first, super fan second, okay? Girls, you look wonderful, you'll all get an autograph afterwards. And Lohan's like, oh my god, is everything is gonna be fine. You know, I just rehearsed 30 minutes before the show. You don't like it? Get new ears. That's what I say. Lump it. So then now like there's a guy on sage and then I was like, uh, hello, excuse me, excuse me. Uh, something wrong with his mic. I can't hear him. Okay, what's the deal with the

mic? Can we get a mic in here? Come on. Can we also get my brother, Mike? God is sexy. So then a lady comes on and sings the national anthem. You know, it's easy to go. I'm sorry, lady. I hope you're not listening to this, but please never sing that song again. Okay. That's as bad as flag burning as far as what you just did to the national anthem. You might as well pooped on a flag that started it on fire. Okay. It's definitely up there with like, Rosanne and Fergie. So then Luanne's like, um, okay, uh, okay. I have I have a note. Uh, my mic isn't working. Hello. Can we get my mic isn't working? Hello? I'm a musical director here. I'm trying to make some notes and I how can I possibly do this if my mic isn't working?

Bill, is this the graphic we're going to go with the lights? I mean, look, the national anthem. She gets polka-doctor bill. Polka-doctor lights. Is that what we're doing here? And certainly it's like, well, I like it. She's like, why are we stopping girls? Keep dancing girls. So they're okay. So they're like trying to keep dancing. I want all the acts on stage, all at once, doing all your acts. Okay, let's just see how that works. Louis just becomes a total monster. She's like, okay, girls, I don't want you to pose until the music starts Can you wait in the wings? Wait in the wings girls? So I'm just like, don't make them nervous. Oh, she just doesn't get it. Do we have a uniform way to do your hair?

Oh God, I can't hacks. All right. Get out of here, girl. Guitarist. Guitarist. Can we swap out the guitar for a tuba? Is that something we can do? Okay, you are now playing the tuba. Now, why can't you play your song? Is there any hotter person to play a tuba here? Is there one fuckable tuba person and hell, I'd settle for one fuckable tuba real anybody? And then this girl this little girl's tumbling and she falls by accident and then I goes, oh, well you all look great tumbling and she falls by accident and then goes, oh, well, you all look great, but careful over there, little Miss Failure. I mean, did you slip? You can't slip on the show.

Okay, there's the follies, all right? All right, I need you to go into the corner, stare at the corner and think about what you've done and how you've disappointed every single person in this auditorium. So then they have this gym crew come out and they're dancing and there's tumblers because that's what it is. Gymnas, it's like a cheer team or something. And so you know, they're dancing and then the tumblers come in and do their thing and so he goes, Bill, Bill, I have a comment.

You know, I just find it hard to watch the three dancers when that girl's doing all the gymnastics moves. Okay, how about this? Let's take out half the tumblers and then let's just, can we just find Mr. Rashard from the buy-out? We just haven't taken shirt off in the back. I think that'd be much better to watch. You know, at some point in the show we're going to ever highlight how well you people fuck in this town, because you really do. Even the two are risks. So the whantsuck, I think what Sony was trying to say, just, well, I think they heard me,

the way I did everybody get it, cut the gym people. I needed the gym people to get the hell off the stage. And she's like, what about my opinion? Doesn't that matter? Oh, Bill. Bill, how about your opinion on my comment before the WAN tries to get her comment in here? Well, we're having some creative differences, okay? Um, so Sunia's like, okay, well, the WAN thinks that she's Simon Cowell here and she's not Simon Cowell whatsoever.

And Bill's like, well, with, you know, these are like having kids because with kids, you can call the parents, but when your kids go in that, but now who am I gonna call about these two? There's no one to call. And, Luke, it's like Sonia, it's complicated. You're complicated, I want my note. Ready to gym people.

Is there anybody in here with a rifle? Shoot the people doing gymnastics. So then they're eating, they're like lunch, they're taking it and then he goes, do you want the potato? She's like, yeah, she's like here, take it, take it, take it back, fucking bitch. Jesus, she just dropped all big potato

on some of this plate. And that's where it ended. So stupid, so I love this show. that's where it ended. So stupid. So I love this show. I know. It is really very funny. I'm excited to see how the Benton Follies works out. Maybe they'll be a show they'll put on every year in the city.

We'll see. Anyway, we'll tell. There's been a fun week, y'all. Thanks everyone for being here and for listening. And we will catch you next week with a whole new slate of episodes. And bye everyone! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Know your worth with Jason Kurt!

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