Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello 04 - Going Tiny in Palm Springs

Episode Date: November 9, 2020

This week's Dwell Hello takes on House Hunters Season 159 Episode 15 "Going Tiny in Palm Springs". A retired modeling agent wants to make art and poop in private, but will it be possible in his five dollar price range? Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Woohoo! Well, hello. Well hello, welcome to Dwell Hello.

I'm Ronnie, that's been over there, Hi Bane. Hey, what's up? As usual, go find us over on watch what Grappins, if you want some more of this stuff talking about Bravo and sometimes some Netflix shows and stuff. But today we're here to talk about Housey Hunters! Yeah, we are all in on our House Hunters experience. And this episode that we're covering today is from Season 159 episode 15. And it takes place in Palm Springs.

I actually don't remember what the episode was called. Do you remember what the episode was called? I don't remember it's called going tiny in Palm Springs. Oh wow something you don't often hear from our community Okay, community. Yeah, no one no one who moves to Palm Springs is like, you know what? I'm looking for a tiny No, but but that's Lyle. Lyle wants some tiny, tiny living in Palm Springs. Lyle wants some tiny living. Now look, this is a triggering episode, I think, for many gays, I don't know, for me, it certainly was, because, you know, living

in Los Angeles, that's where you go retire, right? You go retire in Palm Springs. And when you're young, you go to Palm Springs, like, now, so young and fresh, right? And when you go, you're like, oh, this is my life, you know, you see your life and you're like, am I going to be at this 7-Eleven for the rest of my life, you know? And you just start seeing like, I don't know, everything you haven't done passing in front of your eyes when you go to Palm Springs, you know? It's like I could have done this. I could have been a modeling agent. Yeah, and you have to pass with the inland empire,

which is already like a really uncomfortable place to be in just because it's like, it's just a, let's put it this way, one of the huge forest fires that happened recently was from a gender reveal that happened in San Bernodito in the heart of the inland empire. That's what you have to drive through. So you go through like an emotional experience just getting out there. Yeah, and you pass out the windmill power thing and the outlets.

And so like it's it's good and bad, you know, and you go up there and you're like, oh my god, wind power outlets. What a fun week. And let's party for your bachelor rate. party for your bachelor rate. And then by the time you're going back, everyone's hungover, you feel like shit. And then you're like, oh my god, those sad windmills look dirty. And you know, those outlets look gross. And yeah. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You're like worldview has crumbled before your eyes

when you go to Palm Springs by the end of it. Yeah, it's hard. It's a hard time. So here we go. We are with a retiring gay named Lyle. And I love Lyle. I love Lyle too. He's such a sweet guy and you know how you can tell how people have lived their life by looking at their face. Like you can tell I sleep a lot because one of my eyes closes more than the other because I sleep on my face. Lyle has just lived. You know, like L while has gone out in the sun, while has partied all night, every night of his life.

I guarantee you that he was, or maybe still even is, one of Glorious Defons' guys. Like, he to me, he probably, like, in the 80s, he just lived the life. He went to all the clubs. He was around all the beautiful people. He probably was a model at some point. He just is, like, he has lived a great life.

And now he's settled into, you know, gay old age where he makes rye little quips and it's just like amused by everything. And, and likes like making his, his lady friends get into a little bit of a tizzy, you know? Yeah, and he's really made it to that point where, you know, he's partied his whole life. And now he's like, well, I've got about $100,000 left. So I'm really going to embrace this tiny home bullshit. Let's just do it. You know, and he's not sad.

Like, oh my god, I'm sad and retired. And I'm going to front off of Tiny Home. This sucks. He's like, love Tiny Home's seen the TV show. Let's fucking do this, Christie. Yeah. Yeah, I think he's really doing it for as a conversation piece.

He's like, yeah, well, I saw one of those tiny Homes, and I said, let me try this, it's so ridiculous. I have to see if it's even worth doing it. So I'm doing, I called up Christie from the old days, you know, back with John Sakata, et cetera. And I said, let's do this, let's look for a tiny home and see what Gloria thinks when we send her a picture from it, right? I mean, Lord knows I've never had trouble getting into tiny homos.

So might as well give a tiny home a chance. Am I right, Chris D? As long as it's not on wheels, that's what I always say. Upon Springs, California modeling agent is ready to own his own home and he's looking to go tiny he wants a moderately small house with modern appliances and outdoor area for his rescue dog red and perfect light to pursue painting

painting the saddest clown you've ever seen in your life that was the most horrifying clown that was terrifying i, Lyle, you've just squandered all your goodwill with me. Like that, no, no, that clown. It's actually kind of funny. Like sometimes when you go to like country fairs or thrift stores or just like weird local art imporims, you see some weird ass art

and you're like, who makes that art? And it's like, oh, Lyle. Lyle, the former modeling agent makes this weird ass art. Yeah, the, who makes that art? And it's like, oh, Lyle, Lyle, the former modeling agent makes this weird ass art. Yeah, the gay and the tiny house in Palm Springs made that. And then the picture, the clown looks like Lyle. Like it has Lyle's eyes, like his big eyes. And it's just like a very pretty sad clown

with like the, the, you know, glow filter, the barber's triceand uses everything. And I'm like, come on Kyle real or live real in okay? You don't paint yourself as a sad clown. I call this one the rhythm did get me. It's like Pennywise is like Pennywise likes he's like is this how I look? Oh God I'm going back to Suez Nevermind. Oh

Boy come on red. Let's go. Let's look at all those doggies Yeah, he's a little dog daddy. Oh my god that dog is so cute. Yeah a little fat little dog. It looks like when I m. J. Dog sort of lost on now Mm-hmm, and I love, his little rescue dog, Red. He's like, okay, you're like we get it. He's a good person. So while he's like, I want great, what I love about Palm Springs is that there's great restaurants,

great dog parks, lots of anonymous sex. And I just love enjoying the desert because I just, you know, I know Red loves the heat. So this is what I wanna do. I wanna be here watching my dog bask in the sunlight while I paint very creepy clowns. Yeah, I just wanna sit here and watch my rescue dog around while all the skin melts off my bones in the sun.

I mean, Palm Springs is like Iraq, okay, it is so hot there. Whenever somebody is like Palm Springs, let's find some outdoor space. What? What? Last time I was there was 120 degrees. This is not a joke. It is hot. It is a desert. Yeah. So he, what he wants is anything but conventional. I mean, just look at that clown. Yeah. He's like, I just fell in love with tiny living. It just felt right. My budget is five dollars. All right, let's see what we can do. And then his

Chris, his friend, Christie comes over. Now we all got a friend, Christie, Christie from Florida. And he's like, Oh, remember those old days when we used to dance and dance and dance at the Benagans on the corner of Ocean Avenue and whatever that dumpster was. Oh, I do! Oh, well guess what, Kristi? We can go dancing here. Well, and Kristi's like, well, we both have the same taste and style and design.

I guess mine's a little bit better, but anyway, it's kind of nice to have a woman's point of view, especially because, you know, Lyle, his taste is a little questionable. Have you seen the clown? Have you seen the clown? Even the clown he's painting looks terrified. I never wondered why that clown looks so sad. It's because it lives in a terribly designed room. And Lyle's like, well, if she likes it, I'll take it.

Because I like what she likes. So he's telling, he's like, I'm looking for a home that's private and sleek because I'm private and sleek. Just like this clown, a very modern, sleek clown, so sad. Beauty is very important because I've had a life with a lot of beautiful people in it. So I need beautiful countertops. Now, I know that's not going to make sense to everybody, but it does me so just get it done. Christie. Oh wow you know the beauty of Palm Springs that I can walk out of my yard and look at these mountains. I don't see any stupid people. I mean God if I have to see one more stupid person. Oh my God there's one right there. Wait it's my painting. God why do I drop

paint? Why do I do paintings of people? I don't want to see them. So they're looking on the computer at different houses and he's like, well look at that one. Like the yard, but not the swing set. My swing set days are over. No bad news. You're in Palm Springs. You don't know what's going to you're going to find.

You know what I'm saying. Yep. I think the city was saying I was cracking up. Yep. What I want to do is I want to grow a garden. That's why I moved to a place that has 120 degree days, full of sand. Only snakes.

I'm going to grow only snakes in that garden. Something that the scorpions can play around in. Yeah. Palm Springs, known for its gorgeous gardens. Oh, well, I don't want anything that's last and 600 square feet Not enough room to put a canvas with a sad clown. I mean, if you know what I'm saying so then we see a close-up of Christie's hands on the computer and Those nails Christie. I mean come on. Yes

Christie Christie, I love you. Thank you for being such a good friend of the gays. I hope I die with a Kristi but girl though. Yes males. No. They're like we've just saw nails with two different Easter egg colors like a fade on armbreak. No Kristi. Kristi is yeah, Kristi is so that person the girl who has the bad manicure and a very like Very well thought out plan that she's gonna make you feel like you have a say in but you don't. She's like, if we see a million tiny houses, we're going to find your perfect tiny house and I definitely do not have one already planned out that I'm going to push extra hard for. No, you have a say in this. You do and I definitely do not figure out what I want for you already. Lyle is looking with real estate agent Nico Expezito. I want to start by laugh with a model home that's in a housing community.

Let me say her name again. Nico Espezito. Nico Espezito kindly requests that you don't ask for autographs because she is not Kristen Johnston, no matter how many times you ask her. She does have a Kristen Johnston vibe. Also, Kristi has a Amy Phillips vibe. Yeah, Christie is super pretty. Yeah, it does feel like an older Amy Phillips vibe, you know?

Yeah, exactly. Like future Amy Phillips. So it's 115. Yeah, well the first, well the house number one is a model home in a tiny house community, 600 square feet and $115,000. I was like, why am I writing down the car? But it's probably also 1.15 p.m.

I said, now is a tiny house community mean it's a community of tiny houses or is it a house community that's really tiny? It's a tiny community house. It's a tiny house, it's tiny houses in a community of tiny houses, which I guess is the thing now. It's such a rip off, isn't it? Like 115,000 for that place,

and then you're living right on top of each other. It's like an expensive... I think it's bullshit. Trailer park. It's an RV? Yeah, it's a trailer park. It's a trailer park that you can't drive away from. I think at the whole point of it,

I personally think if I were ever to do a tiny home, which tiny homes make me uncomfortable, but if I were to do a tiny home, I would think I would want land. I'd be like, I want my money to go into the land, not to be next to another tiny home. I mean, Maz will be in like, yeah, like an RV park at that point.

Yeah, I don't like the tiny homes that move though. I do like stationary tiny homes. What I did like about the tiny homes in this episode was that they weren't the typical like, snoopy dog houses that we've seen on so many of these shows. Like these were like they had different look and everything. And this first one was actually like very modern and very chic. And I was like actually this is pretty cool. Like as a tiny house, I really like this one. Yeah, this one was really nice. It had like a nice patio of with sliding glass doors out to it.

But you know again, the neighbors are right there. Yeah, she's like, look at this view. And you just see like a row of tiny houses. And she's like, like, there's, but so there's like no view, which he doesn't like, no privacy, but there are tall ceilings and lies like, well, even my girlfriends with the big hills can get in the front door. RuPaul RuPaul can walk right on in here. If you know what I'm saying. Right, Kristi. Right.

She's like we had a falling out in 1997 so we don't talk about RuPaul. Yeah, don't ask him the RuPaul story. So let us like look at that patio. It's indoor outdoor living. Yeah, it's a tiny house, dude. Okay. Your patio is your living room, Andrew Garage. So get used to sitting in your car to watch TV. And Chris, he's like, well, and we don't like this so much room out here. Like we don't even have to have anyone in the back room

because there's so much room out front here. Oh, what kind of party we have and out here, Grizzly. All right, we're gonna swing set in RuPaul. You know what I'm saying? The only thing I'm worried about is a lack of privacy. Privacy is very high on my list. I mean, the guy just wants to be left alone really, because he really does throughout the whole episode. And he never gets it, by the way, spoiler alert. No. But by the way, it's a really nice kitchen for a tiny house. And there's like stainless appliances, not that it matters, because he doesn't even cook,

which Christie blows up a spot on. She's like, huh, you don't even cook, Lyle. You don't even cook. This is a ridiculous choice. And I would never, ever steer you in the way of something I've already chosen for you, but you don't cook. So why do you even need this stove? It's like, well, she is my appliance girl.

Yeah, you have to have a gas stove, you have to, you just have to, God, I love this sink. Oh, that's a dog washing sink if I've ever had one. Just hopefully no one can see me washing my dog. I'm really into privacy. Oh, look, it's a full-size French door of fridge. Fast times for a fast cocktail, am I right? I used to say that to Gloria all the time. I was like, let me tell you something about the Congo.

Is the Congo going to go faster than a fast cocktail? I don't think so. Where do you go, Christie? Am I talking to you right now? So it's a little tiny bathroom because it's a tiny house. And he's like, wow, love the gray, the full-size mirror. And then there's a little pocket door to a separate vanity, which I guess is weird because the toilet should be in the pocket door,

not the fan. I thought it was, it was with the shower. Yeah, I thought the toilet was with the shower behind the pocket door, right? Oh, maybe it was. Closies like a bye girls. All the girls with the huge heels, we need their privacy.

Yeah, the huge heels. Like, their privacy. Yeah. The huge heels. He's like, oh, it's got a shower. I was really hoping for a tub. I'm like, what, now, I feel like in a tiny home, why, there's no, you can't, you can't use up your valuable space on a tub. And a time. You're not getting a tub in a tiny home.

No, well, you know what would be nice to have besides a croissant, God, I love croissants. Privacy, that would be nice. Because it would be nice to be private from this because there's a bedroom window that looks right into the neighbor's window, right? Yeah Not in this one. Oh, that's the other one. This one is there like in the bedroom and he's like oh Well, look, so what sort of bed is this? Like it's a queen bed. Oh there. Oh, they got us. They got a queen in here And they're well, you know, maybe I can even get a king in here I'm like, why would you put a king bed into your tiny home? What happened to tiny living? I thought he was gonna reject the queen bed

I thought he's gonna go for a twin. Oh man, once you get in the king bed You can never go back or hey, well just keep it how it is. There's two queens in here right now We're doing just fine. Thanks It's just two queens in here right now. We're doing just fine. Thank you. Thanks. So then they go look at the patio. Why are we all like that, Gaze?

Like we have a little smart ass comment for everything, right? We can't control it. I love it. I love that that's just like an innate part of our nature. That no matter who you are, where you are, your gay always has something to say about every little thing. Yeah, exactly. So then, yeah, there's this really nice wrap-around deck actually.

I really liked it a lot. There's overhangs for some protection. And then we find out, so the space, so the other thing is that with these tiny homes, not only do you not get any, not only cheek by jowl, but you also have to pay rent for the space. So it's $650 for the space which also includes water and trash and then there's a dog park and a clubhouse which is, you know, I guess that 650 is going far but that's a lot on top of what you're paying.

I think that this is some bullshit. I mean 650 a month you can get a one bedroom apartment in Palm Springs for 650 a month. Exactly. Exactly. I just feel 650 a month, you can get a one bedroom apartment in Palm Springs for 650 a month. Exactly. Exactly. I just feel like, can't you just at that point commission a tiny house and like on a plot of land? Yeah, but as we see with this next house, it's like, wow, the plot in Palm Springs, if you're like looking for cheap stuff, it really is tumbleweed stasard.

It's not like the glamorous Palm Springs everywhere where there's like fake grass down and you know all this gorgeous lands. It's like tumbleweeds flying across your yard you know desert desert desert desert. Yeah, it's miserable. So house number two, we go to house number two and it's just like not even like sand. It's just like dust. It's like dust bowl. It's like the dust bowl never went away from you. It's just like a, it's like the old west, but like, I don't even know what, I was expecting like a lady to come out

with an apron or something. It's just, it's very 29, not 29 palms. Graves of rats, but kind of like outside Joshua Tree, I guess 29 palms area, because I stay there when I go there with my friends, and it's like not the rich glitzy section. And so you see places like this, where it's like one tiny little house out of a movie about the depression,

just kind of sitting there. And it's scary, it looks scary, you know? What if some meth head comes over there at night, tries to rob you? You know they're out there. It's definitely the sort of place also that like you, like your car bricks down and he's like, oh, come on over to my house, I'll help you and I'll set you up with you like a beverage.

Next thing you know, you're like digging a grave for your friend who's like as far as some weird packed with Lyle. Yes, of the original clown, but he's been painting over. Yeah, the clown is actually real. it like comes out of the painting. Yeah, so he's like, well, and the narrator, as they approach, the narrator is like, well, I want something sleek and modern with some way to garden. So let's take him to hell. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't know. Lyle wants something sleek and modern, but fuck Lyle, here's a piece of shit. This place is terrible, the inside is terrible too,

the whole thing is terrible. It's awful. And Lyle's so sweet. He's like, oh nice place, Espazito, wait, what's her name? Nico Espazito. That's Nico. Local real estate agent, Nico Espazito, they say that every two minutes.

I know, I was like, Nico really has a good contract for this show. She does. I will do this show, but you're gonna say my name 19 times, dammit. He's like, they're like approaching this little cabin. But it's a cabin and walking up to a cabin and it's just so dusty and emptying us.

Well, I can do a lot of gardening here. Just. Yeah, acres and acres worth. And Christie's like, and emptying us well I can do a lot of gardening here. Just like... Yeah, acres and acres worth. And Christie's like, well this would be great for your rescue dog red. And he's like, oh and more dogs. We could start a rescue here. Give me some cows, some horses.

I mean, we could build a mall here, Christie. Jesus. How much land does this? And it's $145,000 because it has all this land. And she's like, well, this is definitely over our budget. He's like, it's a lot over the budget. A lot under whatever. It's under everything.

A lot under style. When he walks in the house, he's so funny. He walks in and he goes, wow. Everything in one room, a dining room, a bedroom, a kitchen, a quarter-roy couch. And then, and then Nico's like, well, we can negotiate to keep some of the furniture. He's like, I don't think you understood my sarcasm. For someone who lives in Palm Springs, you really don't get sarcasm. Do you? Nico Esposito.

I really like a lot of clean lines, but not half a centimeter apart on my couch. When I said clean lines, I meant of cocaine and get this rosanna set out of here, so Niko's like, so it's actually kind of amazing because this is like a home set house, which meant that the government had the land and if you stayed here for five years, you would actually get the land yourself. Oh great story. So it's for poor people. Take me back to town. Where's the lineup for the cheese, Nico? Wow, I love that they're cement floors. Now let me ask you this. If an A-bomb goes off, I'm my protector because that's basically what I feel like. I'm in. Bomb shelter. And the privacy, not a neighbor for miles. She's like, but it has outdoor living and outdoor dying a Nico

And Christy sounds for a moment like she's putting a positive spin on it. She goes well this house is different and funky and mismatched but we'd have to cut the whole thing It's definitely not turnkey ratty. He's like, um, there's no bath What kind of bathroom is this? There's no shower, no tub. And he goes like, well, remember when I told you about the outdoor space, there's a very unique bathroom. I'm sure enough, there's a huge outdoor space with an outdoor bathroom and a tub.

Oh good. This way when I got bitten by a scorpion, at least I'll be clean. Just what everyone wants to walk outside and pitch black to take a pee in the middle of the night. Thanks Nico Espezino. Great. Yeah thanks a lot. Thanks. Wow this is amazing a giant tubs around him by aluminum siding. This really is unique. Did this come from the government also? But he is trying to be positive because they walk outside and it's just vast, tumble, weedy desert.

And he goes, well, that is a million dollar view. Well, the best. You know, the best part about this house is that when I get murdered in it, the killer can clean his body afterwards, no, I have to find them. Yeah. So, and so Chris, he's like, well, I love it. I mean, I think I love the outdoor space and I think it's over budget But like red would love this space and goes well, we can't buy a house for a dog

And yes, I am the first gay to say that but finally I'm taking a stand. I was gonna say that's the least gay thing He's ever said and really everybody who came looking for houses with me said something about Mueller. They're like, well, he would really love this space. Every single person. And I was like, you're right. I will buy this house. Peeler's gonna love it. Chrissy Mima, like, looks down on her toes, thinking back at her house in Florida that has designed fully around her dog, jumping, making little jumps over things. Mm-hmm. So then, Chr, while Goody Dinner in town. And while I was trying to scoop up food with his fork,

without using his knife, who was like, pushing it to the edge of his plate, I'm like, Lyle, please use your knife. Just get it on the fork. And it looked like they were eating in one of those. What was that yogurt place that was around for a long time? Yogurt land, pinkberry. No, pinkberry, yeah.

But they were like, it's frozen yogurt, that actually tastes like yogurt. I was like gross. You know what's that? I want my yogurt, I want my frozen yogurt to take tastes like cancer or I'm out of here. But anyway, it was decorated like a pinkberry and he's just pushing his food around.

And he's like, oh my God, can we have dinner parties in your house, Lyle? Well, that depends, it's RuPaul coming. He goes, he's cooking not me and then they show the drink he's drinking and it says big salt pink drink with a literal branch of Rosemary or some sugar. I've noticed that. Someone broke off a Christmas tree branch and just put it in there.

Oh, this drink is curiously strong. I feel like I'm drinking a fur tree right now. So real estate agent, Nico Esposito, did you remember her name? Nico Esposito has found Lyalla cost-efficient option that's on the third rock from the sun. Okay, she's scowling at me now. It was a little joke for you.

Okay, I'll continue. She's found him a cost-efficient option in a model home community. And so they go to the next option. And it looks like, as they go down this street in this community, it looks like someone lined up just 500 security kiosks. That's all it looks like. Yeah, this one is not cute. sure. This is the worst scary looking. Yeah, I'm not scary, but just gross Scary in terms of who thought this was a good idea. Yeah, it is sad, you know, because I was I was hoping they'd show him a real Benga after that dead that one in the middle of the desert I thought this was gonna be it, you know, they were gonna save themselves

But no this one was not good and he's so positive. He's like, well, it's got clean lines and spin, paint her. So I like that. I like that there's a ceiling. That's a nice touch. And it's for only 69 grand, which is the proper price for a tiny house, I say. Yeah, it's 400 square feet, but it has a rent. So the monthly rent is 450 because it has amenities and it has like 10 spas of like natural hot spring water and Kristi goes that's healing water

And then we see the spa and it's just like got weird brown crusty shit like Oh, it is out it It's like I need to heal itself before I can heal me. Yeah, no one from that Location even said, wow, we're getting free advertising. Maybe we should clean the fucking natural spring water. Please clean that sediment out. Yeah, it was so disgusting.

Yeah. And they showed it like 10 times. They just, Christie's throughout the episode, Christie keeps going. And the water's healing. And I was like, first of all, does he always have a cold? And second of all, why do they keep showing that dirty ass pool of nasty? It was the producers do not like Christie so every time she like tries to like sell him on this house because she tries to sell this house

So hard. They're like, uh, please don't forget the crusty the crusty spa. Okay crusty spa So there's like a little fire pit outside the house, which is cute And then but they're like at look it has a TV and there's like a little fire pit outside the house, which is cute. And then, but they're like, at look, it has a TV. And there's like this weird, this like tiny, it looked like the screen in McDonald's that shows you like what orders are coming up next. The one that they use, not the one that's for public consumption. You know, that shows like, you know what? You ever catch it where it says like 61, it's like flashing because like order 61

has like been waiting too long. That's what's there. Yes, it's like, wow, you could just roll it around. I love the outside space. I think who is going outside so much in console? It just kills me that everywhere they go, everything's outside, you know? Yeah, and so he's like, well, this is good.

Ceilings and Nikoaspecitos, like they're 10 feet tall. Now, this may feel small, but at least you get height and volumes, you don't feel cramped. Yeah, it looks like an RV on the inside. It's like at that point, like you're getting all the worst parts of an RV, but none of the fun stuff. So like just get the RV, it looks terrible. Yeah, so then they have, he's like, oh, we could have champagne, mimosas at this table. And he's like, can we talk about these lights because it's like these the fluorescent lights like fluorescent lighting above them and he's like what are those flying saucers?

and and Nico's like well actually they're called solar tubes and they let the light in but not the heat whatever they're ugly oh wait no I'm supposed to be nice. Ooh, I like these white walls, which is something he says as if that's like an uncommon feature. Yeah, and he's like, oh my God, but privacy. My neighbors are right outside, and he could go, but you have wood cabinets. So many of them, so much wood. Do you want me to pull up the flap on your table again

to show that you could possibly have a third person and you're, oh, you don't like people, sorry Sorry, and it's like the sinks a little small. I don't really see rescue dogs being bathed in the sink And and by Christie's like Christie's like pushing so hard She's like let's talk about the appliances. Okay, so they're white and they definitely have to be replaced and like I and and this is like probably the ugliest thing I've ever seen but There's a lot of privacy. I mean there is a house five feet away But there's a lot of privacy because I'm saying so yeah, and she goes, you know But one thing we really do need to think of is refrigerator space because when you have a refrigerator

You really need to think of the depth and the space. And I was like, well, glad we brought you along, Kristy. Yeah. He wants tiny living and unfortunately tiny living is going to come with a tiny fridge, except for the first house, you know. Also, I have to say that the white stove top of anything range, I used to have that in my old apartment. And I have that in my apartment too. Yeah, I mean, it's ugly, but it was great. It was a great I have a newer one down this this apartment and it is awful. So like sometimes you want to go like when it comes to things you want to go with what works okay. Yeah. What are those flying saucers? Oh God I'm not going to stop. It's Alvin here is Alvin the bathroom because I'm saying I'm flying saucers? Oh, God, I'm not flying saucers. Is Alston here? Is Alston the bathroom?

Because I'm saying I'm flying saucers. And they go to the bedroom. And he's like, reminds me of a cheap hotel. But there are mirrors. I presume their bed is right there. The neighbors. Is that the neighbor's bed? Right there.

See that window? Oh, neighbors. And Nico's like, we could redo it. Nico, stop saying you can redo everything. The man is retiring to a tiny home. He can't just build a new home inside. Okay. Well, I was just looking at her like you're a crazy bitch aren't you? Trying to send me a home with solar tunnels. She's like well close solar tube solar tunnels. Far as I'm concerned. Let me guess you're not a girl with tall high heels. Not vited my party. Nico has to see it out. Who does this Florida trash think that she is?

And Nico's like, but there is a restaurant on site. Yeah, I'm sure the restaurant and the tiny home community is really great. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure that like, yeah, I'm sure Curtis Stone is doing a great stag there. Curtis Stone. So they talk, they talk about the price and it's sleek and he's like, but there's no privacy in the bedroom. I love privacy. So you can have your garden, you can have your garden. But will he stand in a budget or will he break the bank for privacy and style?

It's like narrator, stop lying because there's no privacy in the other one either. Yeah, the third option should not have even been on the show was so horrific. So now they're deliberating and Chris is like, so what do you think about the modern tiny? And for some reason I didn't like that she called it the modern tiny. I was like, if the modern tiny home, Chris, please say the full phrase. We're not monitoring it. Modern time is playing. And he's like, well, privacy wasn't issue and there wasn't much space for a

garden. And God, it was so small. It'd be ever seen a house. So small. It's like, you are shopping for a tiny home, sir. Yeah. He's like, so what about that other place in the middle of nowhere? I mean, the privacy was amazing because everybody just assumes you're dead when you're all the way

out there. I mean, no one's going to look there. I love the funky bathtub and Kristi goes, yeah, no one's gonna visit you there. Ha ha ha ha. Just putting it out there, I already texted with Gloria, we were not gonna visit you out there. We all are afraid for you.

But enjoy that funky bathtub. Number two, the hot springs tiny for 69, 999, for 400 square feet and $450 a month extra. And he's like, well, that one had great things. I mean, you have the fortaroid couch in the middle of your kitchen living in bedroom. Yeah, yeah, that was great. I had solar tubes in a bathroom for people who are idiots and tiny bedroom. That looked into another tiny bedroom, but you could live next door, Chris, the we could be neighbors, we could live back to back.

She's like, I live in Florida, no chance. Yeah. Um, so then what are we going to do because that's sleek water. And I mean, we could buy two of them and put them together. Yeah. It's like, well, privacy, but you can have your garden. And he's like, yeah, uh,

sleek lines, sleek lines win, sleek lines win. Yeah, so they go for the first one, which is the sleek, modern, tiny, the sleek, modern, tiny, yeah. And she was pushing, Chrissy was pushing for house number three the entire time. So when he chose house number one, modern Palm Springs, she goes, yay, I love that for you.

I think that's perfect for your terrible taste. For you. And I think she also knows that she's going to have to be learning him money because it's so far over his budget. I mean, he went from $100 to like $140 something dollars plus $650 a month. She's like, God dammit. Well, $145 was for a hundred forty five was four,

was four the one that was out in the middle of nowhere. He only went up paying, he actually went up paying a hundred thirteen thousand for the modern, modern sleek one. Oh, okay, that's not so bad. And he got a bigger lot. He actually, it was great. His lot looked big. He was able to get a guard in.

It was super cute. It was the one he should have gone with all along. The other two shouldn't have even been on the show, to be honest. Yeah, it looked pretty cute this house. I actually liked it. I was like, okay, at least I know what's waiting for me. And it's not so sad.

I was like, I feel like Ronnie is about to buy one of these houses. He's going to sell it and move into like next door to a lot. You know, I love a tiny house. I know you do. It's crazy. Yeah. I've always really loved tiny houses. But then I've gone to look at a couple and I'm like, but it's so small.

It's a tiny house. Exactly. But maybe put three of the tiny houses and they're like, well, why don't you just get a house. No, the tiny house. Well, Lyle's excited to start his art again and he's designing a pod in the backyard just for painting. So, look out, Palm Springs, more creepy clown artwork coming your way. Well, if you're a creepy clown painter, that's definitely the place to live.

It really is. I've seen a lot of that kind of artwork out there. Like, it makes sense. Like, when I see that kind of artwork, I do think this looks like it was painted in a pod behind a tiny house. Well, I certainly enjoyed tiny house hunting experiences with you. And he's like, yeah, I might have ended up with wide appliances if it weren't for you, Kristi. Well, I'm buying the one across the street. Not so fast. Get out of here. I hate people. So that was pretty cute. That brings us to the end of House Hunters. Yeah, thanks everyone for listening to Dwella Hello.

Remember, you can always listen to our coverage of many other shows on Watch For What Crapons, and you can follow us at Watch For Crapons and on our many different areas. And also, you can check out, we have Watch For Crapons.com.com slash dwell hello with links to all sorts of social and things like that. So thanks everyone for listening and we'll be back on the next episode to talk more house on drugs. Bye! Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take

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