Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello 06 - My Big Fat Greek House Hunt

Episode Date: November 23, 2020

This week, we take on House Hunters International Season 134 Episode 10 "My Big Fat Greek House Hunt". A Greek wife wants to find a place that doesn't require her to drive two hours to work, but her American husband just wants to be close to a bar. Will her parents intervene? Sign up to Stitcher Premium at https://www.stitcher.com/premium using discount code CRAPPENS.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some raunchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!

Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Woohoo! Well, hello. Well hello, and welcome to Dwell Hello.

I'm Ben, that's Ronnie. We're from the Watcher Crappens podcast. What's going on Ronnie? Oh hello. Hi. So for those. What's up, bra? What's up?

So welcome to to dwell hello. This is our podcast about homes living and all that fun stuff. And we are doing an exclusive focus on house hunters and house hunters international and all that kind of fun stuff for stitcher premium. And we've been having a great time doing it. And today we are going to be looking at house hunters international season 134 episode 10, my big factory,

Kaus Hunt crazy episode. Yeah, before we jump into that, Ronnie, how's it going? Good. Everything's going really good over here. Going really well over here. I really liked the idea of this episode because I come from a mixed family. My dad is Lebanese and my mom is a white lady. And so her marrying into my family was pretty crazy because like it's severe, it's like severe Lebaneseism. It's, you know, it was like first generation. So when we saw the movie Big Fat Griquetting, my Big Fat Griquetting,

we all felt like, wow, this is our life because, you know, like the goat roasting in front of the house. I mean, that hasn't ever happened. But just the kinds of shit memories that we had as kids. Like, one of our great uncles just eating raw lamb and blood coming down his face. Well, he'd like laughs and spits food all over your face. You know, just shit like that. Wow.

And so I loved that movie. And I really liked this idea because in this setup the girl is Greek and the dude is the white guy and in our family you know it's the opposite and I know how my mom deals with it and I know how my family deals with my mom so I'm like I wonder if it's the same with a man. I wonder if they just look at each other like he's fucking crazy right? man. I wonder if they just look at each other like he's fucking crazy, right? Well, I mean, unfortunately in this situation, this guy is a douchebag. He is a real asshole. So, like, there's also that element too. Yeah, he is a douchebag and he gets away with a lot more, I think, because he's marrying into the Greek culture, because they're more, they're not like

as sugar-coated as we are as we are you know like they'll they'll tell you like you're stupid right they're not gonna sugarcoach it so I think kind of a rude a rude guy they probably just think he's being upfront but no guys he's American and he's just a dick okay well I have a confession I've never seen my big-fack requeading ever, but I know there's something to do with Windex in it, and, you know, Neav Ardolus, and I'm just assuming that it's sort of very similar to this episode of Household. Yeah, Windex is like the cure all for the grandpa, you know, and in our family, it's a list-dream. So our grand, our gender-er grandpa would tell us, I mean, my aunt got cancer

for Christ's sake, And he's like, have you had any lifts studying because that helps? I'm going to get everything it's fixed with fucking mystery. Well, you know, it's funny because I mean, Greece and Lebanon, those are, they're actually like, they're like, sort of the same corner of the world. I mean, you know, I think people think of Lebanon as, oh, it's the Middle East and Greece, they think, oh, it's Europe. But if you really look at it and you look at love from an outsider point of view, there's, you know, it's the Middle East and Greece, they think, oh, it's Europe. But if you really look at it and you look at love from an outside or point of view, there's you know, it's not, they're not too far apart in terms of geography and also seems like

in some ways culture and food and things like that. Well, food is almost the same. It's almost exactly the same, especially in America, you know. So in America, you can be from completely different parts of the world, but your Middle Eastern-ish, you know, so Or you have nose and back nose and back hair, and so you're like cousins in America, you know Like I'm friends with a lot of Persians and our families are very similar. I mean, there's a way richer Let's face it. But yeah, we're kind of cousins here in America

Yeah, yeah exactly and as far as health is concerned, we're, we're blood relatives because great believes, land, rice, like all that stuff, yeah, we're together. Yeah, and actually here in LA, like if you try to get Greek food a lot of times, it's like, come here to so-and-so's Greek restaurants, slash Lebanese, slash Armenian restaurant. I'm like, okay, well, that's three separate cultures and countries and foods, but they're all gonna be a one restaurant. So opening up this episode is the coming up

this episode, Clips. And I just know that this is a terrible couple because they're doing pottery together, okay? Like anybody who really loves each other doesn't do pottery together, this bullshit. That's right. Just wanted it unless unless one of you's a ghost it's just not a real thing okay stupid it's like let's go to build a bear no people who are really don't do that shit

so Keith and Dspina have big plans for their future it apparently involves pottery and annoying Ronnie Karam fucking pottery can you tell I can't do pottery? I've just, I've always been so furious at pottery. So messy. It's so messy. Am I not a big messy person like that? I don't like messy things.

And I just, I haven't done pottery since I was in sixth grade. I remember doing it and I'm just like, this is so messy. It's like the messiest thing you've ever done in your life. Yeah, and I break so easily and like, what do you ever really even use it for? It's like, wow, I went to a pottery place and made a bowl that I can't use, because I didn't glaze it properly.

And then when you do glaze, it's like, well, how is that healthy? That's smell, you know, it almost killed me, the smell of it. Yeah, I never really know what the glaze is gonna look like. You like paint the glaze on, and you're like, well, this looks like it's purple, and then it comes out light blue, and you're like, well, I'm lied. I lied to. Yeah. So they have big plans for their future. And and she's like we want to start the family we have a house in

the family house my family and it says but for her house hunting in Athens Greece is a family affair and she's and then you see her saying like my family was saying you can't find a nice Greek boy you have to find this Canadian banana peel, really? And then we see her mom who's like this cute little old Greek lady and she's like And like under it, it just says like, you know what, white boy asshole, dyna fire, okay? You're not good enough for my daughter, get out of here, douche. And Keith, Keith, the white guy is like, just me and I to realize that we'll be the ones living there, not our parents. Oh, let me guess, we're gonna take some money from the parents.

Pete! Yeah, exactly. So then, um, anyway, so, and then we see Dismina say, well, I don't think my parents are really going to like that. Well, your parents don't seem to be happy about anything. Okay, you know what, I'm already very mad. You haven't even started.

We haven't rolled the credits yet, and I'm already pissed at Keith. I'm so pissed at Keith this whole time. He's not a good partner. Leave him. He is awful. Any foams at the corner of his mouth when he talks. You notice that? I did. So they're walking through the town square and she's telling me, oh, when I was a kid, they would have a little benches and like cotton candy and corn. And he just looks at her like, gross. Yeah. And she goes, but it's not very common anymore, which I'm like, why would they get rid of cotton candy and corn? What happened?

The fucking food regulator. No, it was fucking food regulators, okay? Like, what's wrong with leaving some milk sitting out on the counter for a while? That's my question. Mr. B, give me a B at my restaurant. Boo. Boo safety regulators. Boo, we want botulism. I want chunky milk. Milk writes. So, Dismina, Sephora, and Keith Gilmore are people. So Keith is looking. We just see him and he just looks miserable and dead behind the eyes. He's just like, what he does.

It sounds like the suction at the back. I mean, at the dentist, you know would have put in the corner of your mouth. You just, and then like every like 15 minutes of chokes, you're like, no. Yeah, it's the sound of his soul. And he's, the thing about him is, like he's got a physically handsome face,

like I think he's cute. Like more or less handsome. Yeah, he's more or less handsome. That's a good way to put it. He's like Vancouver hot, you know? It's like he just looks nice and handsome. The problem is when he just moves his face and talks. I guess the personality, the way your personality breaks out

across your face. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah, so he's not a, it's, yeah. So he tells us he's from Vancouver and he's like, my friends always travel around the world and I was like, okay, I guess I'll travel So I went to Athens and because I met just being in Athens a state in Athens It's like well, that's yeah kind of romantic. I guess I guess so okay cool So she's like it was a summer love story, but we're married happily. Well, we're married mostly happily. I mean, we're

married. We're married. They've been renting an Athens, but now they want to buy a home. Yeah, and we see pictures of their happy life together and when they were on the beach together and matching straw hats. And she just looks as happy as can be. And he looks like he's trying to be a model, you know, he's like giving that model Instagram face. I'm like, listen, buying a hat at a tourist shop doesn't make you a model, douche. Yeah, okay, you're not gonna be like, you're not being signed by Cynthia Bailey.

Okay, this is, you're not a model. And then they show also, like when they're talking about how they're ready to buy a home, we just get like this close up of a really juggie pigeon. Did you notice that? It was like a pigeon just looking at the camera, like, well, these two certainly don't buy a home. We just get like this close up of a really juggie pigeon. Did you notice that? It was like a pigeon just looking at the camera like, well, these two certainly don't have a chance. I was like, listen, pigeon.

Yeah, it was a bickie pigeon. Very bickie. And you know what else they have on the show cats? There's a lot of cats in this. A lot of cats. Three has pigeons and cats, which is really perfect. But why are there so many pigeons? That's like lazy cats, right?

Because they should be killing those pigeons.'s like lazy cats, right? Because they should be killing those pigeons. Yeah, those cats, I mean, they must be eating something because they've really multiplied, but it's probably not the pigeons. Maybe there's like a really big like mouse population. Yeah, well, no, people are feeding those cats. They're everywhere. They're like literally everywhere. The cats. Cats are everywhere. Even the real estate agent is named cat.'re like literally everywhere the cats. Cats are everywhere. Even the real estate agent is named Cat.

Like there's just cats. Oh, you can't get away. She probably is a cat. She probably was fed so well that she became a human. I think so. And that's why the pigeons pissed off. Because the pigeons like, well, why doesn't someone feed me? So I could become a human.

So Pete talks about coming from a small family and how it was a big jump. And he's like, how was a real eye opener when I saw how big the family was? They're pretty strong in their opinions and they kind of want to be heard. Oh, that's usually how people feel when they have opinions actually.

They kind of want to be heard. I don't know if you heard about that. And then we see this evil mom and dad, evil. She's like, I made the milk pie, spinach pie and the clav'a! Oh my god, that baccalaval looked so good. I was dying. I was like, they had like a close-up of it and like she picked it up and like the the honey kind of like came with it and I was like, I want to be a cat and greasy eating baccalaval. with it and I was like I want to be a cat and greasy eating bachelorette. So just being like yeah well we're very close so in big decisions I want to hear their suggestions you know and he's like yeah and the

mom the evil mom this is so mean of the mom to say she's like I think you should find the right neighborhood and you will be happy bitch your bitch Yeah, why you being so why you being so present why I think nice neighborhood. Oh my god God give some space for so suffocating And then the dad you didn't even talk about the dad listen to what the dad says god. He is the worst. He's like my girl Your mom and I are here for you. We are here to support you by any means available. Oh my god I mean let her live for once Jesus Every single thing they got a button to Disgust

So my favorite my favorite part about the mom by the way is that she kept on looking right into the camera She's like there's camera in the room. It's like yes. It's not looking at us. Oh, I see you camera It's like no, look at your daughter. she just wants to give that camera a book. Papa. You never thought she was. Any cup of day? Spatico, but then? So, Dysfina tells us, my parents have never traveled

to Baratsoat. It was very hard for them because I found someone from Canada. And they said, you can't find a nice Greek boy. And he's like, no, no. Here's a nice Greek boy. You want him? I guess that would be better. It would be better, actually.

I think it would be, as opposed to like a banana in a card again. So she's like, yeah, but it's true. It's strange for them. And to purchase a house, I need their opinion. And he's like, but it's true. It's strange for them and to purchase a house I need the opinion and he's like, but it's our house. Look, Athens Greece is very multicultural and everyone's like, oh, I guess that's the place to live. I was like, dude, could you sound less excited? I know. He is just like, he just drones on. He's like, well, there are, like you want their opinion, but it's awesome moving and it's

not them. So I'm just going to froth at the corner of my mouth until you really understand that point. Yeah, and stop pretending that you don't care about people's opinion when you only traveled because you saw your friends traveling on Instagram. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So then we see a bunch of ruins and I was like, I don't think that's going to be the appropriate house for them, those columns. And then several cats, and then actual cat. So, they're, so, Dismina and Keith and Cat and Jelaki are sitting on like this step

on the step with like weeds overgrown. And Dismina was like, this is my favorite place in this city. Look out for Rabbitcat, look out. And she's like, yes, I like to. For someone wanting to buy a house in Greece, the market is booming, so they have to buy very quickly because the price is going higher and higher day by day. It's like, geez, that's one way to sell.

You buy now or you die alone. Like, wow, Kat, you have quite a finesse there She's very she's very bossy. She's like well you better buy now otherwise you better hurry up if you want to buy anything You better hurry up because price only going up and I don't even get it in my head you And so just be as big request is that she's the one with the job so let's take me to that Yes, thank you, and she's got one with the job so let's take me to that. Yes, thank you. And she's got a job Northwest of Attica and she's like, and you know,

a traffic can be so terrible. I don't want to be like, hey, think like my life. And then Keith, did you notice that Keith out of nowhere developed an accent? He's like, he's like, I like an area. That's a little more lively. I think he was like pulling some British or something because I, he does it like I like an area that's a little more lively. What's going on? What's going on? I think he was like pulling some British or something because he does it throughout the episode.

Well, suddenly he starts having an accent. Isn't his name Pete? Keith, it's names Keith. I'd dare it. I wrote Pete 97 times today. No, Colin Pete, he doesn't deserve to be called Keith. No, I think he has that thing where he's like Madonna, if he's around someone else's accent

He can't help but take it on because he's when he's around two Greek women He just starts talking like weird Greek accent. He's like I want to be in an area. That's a little nicer with lots of bars and a restaurant Yeah, okay, so what's more important the woman who's paying the bills being close to her job? Are you being able to fucking drink all day? Keith and are you gonna and the bills being close to her job? Are you being able to fucking drink all day? Keith. And do you want me to believe Keith that you are someone who just goes these bars and restaurants? The two of you guys, she is already building a bassinet from whatever straw she can find. She is, all she cares about is a baby, like three babies specifically.

And you're talking about going to bars and restaurants. I don't even know you guys, and restaurants like that's not I don't even know You guys and I know that's not what you guys are all about. Yeah, she's got like five pigeons knitting together a blanket out of cat hair Okay, I don't know where you think you're gonna be going sir Yeah, and so the speed is like well, I want the three bedrooms and he's like I want the two bedrooms and then cat is just staring at them Like these are idiots and I say this is someone who has orange hair by choice. And Pete also or Keith also does this thing where every time the camera passes by he looks at it he's like what are you looking at? And you know Stereo's right at us with a dirty look. They have a lot of a lot of a lot of issues with people staring at the camera.

Yeah. So then they tell the cat okay we, we want a $150,000 budget. And she's like, that's not the question. Is it stupid idiots? Oh, fuck it. She lost in their face. She goes, here's what's out of do. I'll show you what you can expect for this much money. Okay.

So she takes him to an apartment. It's a passive aggressive house showing, which is my favorite kind. By the way, we have four houses on this episode, which is not normal, but they squeeze in one just so they can have this passive aggressive moment. Yes, that's how bitchy Cat is, that she's added a segment to the show to make them look stupid. She has upended House Hunter's history.

I've literally seen hundreds of these and I've never seen one with four homes. Cats like this is okay, you know what I have power of Zeus behind the new okay four houses. But cat we don't do that many segments you change okay. We're gonna do four segments today guys. We spoke to cat Angelic and she said that if we don't do four segments, she's gonna throw a pomegranate in our face and we'll be dragged down to Hades. And, uh, this, uh, this being, it's like, you know, right now with this financial crisis, we can't take a mortgage, which Greek degrees just went through, I mean, a horrible, horrible thing. Yeah. Horrible horrible thing. Yeah, I mean fucking horrible and you got to love the pride of Greece that they're still like Nope, that would be a million dollars

Like the world's fucking fault. It's like LA. I was reading the other day We're recording this before you guys hear it. Obviously like a little bit a few weeks and LA is burning down right it's on. Everybody is posting these pictures of the apocalypse. It's what it looks like. It's like coronavirus. Everyone's stuck inside. Then the sky is orange for weeks on end. It looks like hell. And then an article comes out saying L.A.'s house prices are higher than ever. Yep. That's exactly right. But you know why? Because Netflix is here. People need to live near Netflix. I guess so.

It's an actual thing. It's like there's like a Netflix, like people want to be able to commute to Netflix. Oh, I was taking it like Netflix is here. Like people need a house to be in to escape all of this stuff to watch. Well, there's that too. It's like the employees and Netflix need a house.

That's that way they can watch Netflix and then go to work at Netflix. Everything's about Netflix in the city right now. Yeah. Oh, Netflix is the new YouTube center in Culfer City. Well, YouTube, they opened down all the way and then Ply of Vista which like was literally like swamps. And so like, yes, people definitely moved down there

for that, but I think, but Netflix is here in Hollywood. So it's a little bit more attractive. And we got all the other, we got like MTV and stuff. So, ra ra ra, that's why we're expensive. So anyway, so now it's time to look at this shitty $150,000 apartment. And cats like, all right, so you want to see stupid $150,000 apartment because you're dumb people.

Okay, well, here you go. Hope you like closet and they walk in and they spin and like, oh, I hope that when you say smaller, it's not too small. And she's like, well, you're going to see, you're going to see. Yeah, and it's tiny. There's she's like well you're going to see you're going to see yeah and it's tiny there's like nothing is terrible and so she calls her mom on Facebook and she's like I'm going to call my parents and Keith is like is there more to it is there a secret hallway I'm like why are you British so she calls some mom and dad and she's like, well, we tried for 150, but it's only a one bedroom and you know

I want to have babies and the dad's like, but we're family You did at least to bedroom for all of us to come to you And he is doing that thing like that you just sort of like his hands are flapping so the egg He's like, but you did another room and he's like, doing, like, punching the air. Yes, he's got that thing, that Italian thing where you're like holding things between your fingertip, all of your five fingertips together,

and you're just like punching them out. So the dad's like, he's, yes. So the dad's like, I said, yes, we need two bedrooms and we will reach deep into our pockets to help you and keep his like rolling his eyes What what's going on? What's going I was like, you know what Keith? Learn the language, okay, you're new here learn the language. Yeah, the man's offering you money The least you could do is download duo lingo, you know, please seriously You can look at it. You can study it while you're in those bars all fucking day.

Yeah, so the parents Say that they'll give a hundred thousand dollars and honestly like given that grief has gone through this crazy financial Issues the crises. I'm I don't know. I don't know what these this family with their financial thing is But I have to feel you know, I think for anyone even outside of a financial crisis being loaned $100,000 is a major deal. And that's like, that's major that they give $100,000. That's huge. So that's huge. And they're so sweet about it. They're so excited to give them money, you know. Yeah. So we go look at a new neighborhood and cats like, well, this is five, this is five to ten minutes from shops, bars, cut cut-ups look at the carab and there's like kabobs signs everywhere yeah and but it's also in an hour away from dispina's work which I think is not cool

that's like an hour is significant so it's it's a too bad too bad so it's one bedroom less than what dispina wants and although I will say it's actually a really nice apartment. Yeah, they walk in and I like that. And so they walk in and just be like we increase the budget by $100,000 and we only see two bedrooms and we was going, what's going on? What the fuck? It's like sound reasonable.

There's bars and two bedrooms and it's a cabab, a lot of love cabab, I could go to the cabab place this all day. So yeah, so then, so this is like an open concept. It's like very gray. And so just being a start taking pictures, that way her mom can see, you know, what, yeah, what it is. She's taking pictures and she's like, my mother will not be fan of open concepts about like pictures. She's like, and so she's taking pictures of Cat, which is so hard, like the speed is so sweet. She's like, I'll take pictures.

Get in this cat, get in. So, she's like, well, this will be noisy with guests. My parents will not be happy with that. And she's like, your parents don't like anything. My parents won't like this. They won't like that. My parents won't like this. They won't like that. Yeah. Have you met you? Okay.

Keeps. No shit to do her parents need to be closer to a kabob shop with a bar for you to be nice to them. I mean, what the hell? Yeah. What is he expecting? Like, what is this life that he thinks he's going to have in Athens at all the bars and restaurants?

So they go out into this little balcony and she's like, well, this isn't very big. And he's like, big enough for a barbecue or a table for two. And he's so resentful of all of her family being over all the time. Why did you marry Greek woman? Stop your complaining! There's literally like a movie dedicated to this. A famous, famous movie about Greek families. And they're giving you $100,000. Yeah, the guy in that movie is so cool about it. This guy's just an asshole.

He's like, God, let me guess your cousins are gonna come over. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So just being a really, she really wants three bedrooms and you know, because she's like, she wants to have a place for the kids. And so he goes and he'll older our kids and she goes, well, we don't have kids right now, but we're going to have a place for the kids. And so he goes and he'll older our kids

and she goes, well, we don't have kids right now, but we're going to have them in a few years. He goes, oh, so when they're 12, then we can look at a new house. Yeah, gross. So they're back at the pottery place. And this is hilarious. He's just the worst.

He's the worst. Like, you just can't even pretend to have fun. He's not even trying, you know? It's just like a big lump of clay.. Like you just can't even pretend to have fun. He's not even trying. You know, she's like a big lump of clay and he's like, I'm struggling over here. And she's like, oh, she has a great time anywhere. Obviously she can make something positive out of anything because she's with him.

And so he's complaining and she's like, oh, this picture's so much better than us, but we can get some anger away. Take that pottery. I'm sorry, I love you, ball of clay. I love you. He's like, ah. It's just a ball of clay.

I'm like, can you at least try to see the stress relieving aspects of her joke? She just made such a benign joke about how punching the clay makes her feel better. And he's like, it's just a ball of clay. So then the teacher starts working with her on her pottery. and he's like, mine's not spinning, so I can't do anything.

I'm not. I'm like, he's literally complaining about his, he's like, I can't do it, it's not working. And so she's like, oh, teacher, I can't do please, help Keith. And he's like, no idea what he wants me to do. He's mad that the teacher is talking to her. Like they're having a conversation.

He's all mad because he can't understand it, you know. Yeah, he's all gel. And so he's like, yeah, it's really hard to leave everyone. I mean, I got to learn the language and then it goes from her to me And I don't think she's translating everything because they'll say something for like 10 minutes and then she says three words to me They're probably like I know a good divorce person, okay? Listen, my cousin down the street will give you great rates on a good divorce person, okay? Listen, my cousin down the street will give you great rates on a divorce, okay girl? Tell your idiot husband that all he has to do is put his thumbs in the clay and let the wheel spin, and that's all he literally has to do. Tell him that.

She's like, oh, you're doing great, honey. That's what he says. You're doing great. So now, his concern is that the cash gift is translating into too much say over their house choice. Don't, don't, don't. Yeah. So they're now like going to the next house. And they're just like, they're just really chatting. And Kat is saying that she's from Alexander, Alexander Opley.

Alexander Opley. And just being like, oh, yes, that's close. That's from Alexander, Alexander Drupley, and just being like, oh yes, that's close, that's Pauline, whatever, that's Pauline. That's Pauline, and she's like, you ever been there? She's like, yes, of course. I know, it was like the rudest small talk I've ever heard. Kat is not having it.

So, yes, I know where it is, stupid. Yeah, stupidest people of all of Greece are there. So we see the map, the house center is map. And cats like, we're an hour, half hour from center of town. And there's like cats all over the map, which is so funny. There's literally cats on the map. And it's like, well, this road, you can get very hectic, right?

And people's like, but are there bars and restaurants? I want a kabob beer so just point me towards a bar please so now they go this is house number three which was really house number two because the first one was just you know passive aggressive but it's house number three and it's a three bedroom house two hundred thousand dollars it's they walk in so the living room area is, as Keats says, it's a little bit tight. It's tight, but there's still space.

Everything's sort of like brown or whatever, and there's a fireplace. And so, Dismina says, oh, is this an energy echo? And they're like, oh yes, of course it is. And your energy echo is stupid, that's a beling echo. And he's like, like, what's that? Like, are you gonna tell me? Like, you're so rude, not even telling your husband what energy I could.

Why don't you gonna explain to me what energy I could mean? I was like, it's energy saving. He's like, oh, thanks a lot. Well, now I know. Err. So it's a hideous kitchen. The apartment, oh, it is, it is, uh, and he's like, it is ugly. And it's like some kind of weird remodel where they tried to make the kitchen

of the dining room just into the kitchen, but they did it horizontally so the kids, you have to kind of cross the entire room to get to the fridge, right? Yeah, so it's a terrible kitchen, but Keith made me take the kitchen side because he was so obnoxious. He's like, uh, it doesn't really have a lot of preparatory. I'm like, there's so much counter space. That's one thing it did have was a lot of counter space and then one thing is that like the sink was all the way to the right And the fridge is all the way to the left and he's like, uh, if I need to get to the fridge I have to go through the table like And and cats like um, well you could always get rid of the table because you have another table in there

And he's like, uh, well You still have a fridge on one side and a and a sink on the other always get rid of the table because you have another table in there. He's like, uh, you still have a fridge on one side and a sink on the other, like, how am I even supposed to do that? I'm like, use your fucking feet. Yeah. And just being this trying to make it fun. She's like, yes, I have four here. And then I run there. And then run here. And then run there. He's like, ah, stupid. I see a lot of smash eggs along the way. Well, try not to balance them all in your hands. Stop trying to kill this girl's soul.

It's like, it's really like, this was not a great apartment, but the fridge and sink distance was the least of the issues. Like, that is like the most manageable thing because it just means you walk a little bit further. Like, it's like, and if he ever aspires to be an mansion, guess what, I've got bad news.

That fridge is gonna be far away from the sink. Have you ever been to a restaurant? Do you, have you ever seen Below Deck? Do you even know where the walk-in fridge is compared to where the sink is? It's, there, nothing's close. Yeah, so then they go to look at the bedrooms and she's of course being positive about everything.

She's like, well, look at that wide window. And he's like, well, it has two beds. I would switch that for one, but I guess we could do that later. And she's like, well, look at that wide window. And he's like, well, it has two beds. I would switch that for one, but I guess we could do that later. And she's like, well, the only issue is the location because this is close to my office, but I mean, it's a very busy road. And hello, children, future children coming. And he's still, by the way, still obsessing.

And he's like, well, I mean, you can see if people are changing things around to be like, oh, it's a three-bedroom apartment, but it's really like a two-bedroom apartment or like an open concept kitchen. I mean, a refrigerator on if people are changing things around to be like, oh, it's a three-bedroom apartment, but it's really like a two-bedroom apartment, or like an open-concept kitchen. I mean, a refrigerator on the other side of the room makes no sense. Like, you really have to drop this. Yeah, it's a drop-inser. And he also won't give up on, well, I would rather have a better location,

close to bars and restaurants than bedroom for non-existent kids. Like, come on. And she goes, do you have, well, we have to have a space for family and kids and he's like, how old are our kids? Yeah, that's right. So then, look at the fish. So they're going where they're walking past markets again. And she's like, look at the fish.

She's like, ew, fish. Ew, they smell. He literally does that. He's like, ew, I mean, this is the fish. You fish. Yeah, they smell. He literally does that. He's like, ew, I mean, this is beautiful fish. Beautiful Greeks. By the way, enjoy living in Greece where they have the most beautiful, lovely sea food. Like, he's like, ew.

He's like, how about this? How about some cheese? She's like, that's halva, you idiot. But she's like, you eat it for fasting. And I'm like, wow, this girl fasts like me. Yeah. You eat it. Crush sesame for.

Eat it. And then we just see a cat. We just see a cat sniffing a muffler, which I just love. I felt like that just like summed up everything. And I love the cat. The cats are so perfect for this episode especially, because they're everywhere and they're always looking right at him.

Like, they like you. The cats are like the cat version of him. They're like, I don't get this. So she's like, well, I guess I really like this guy because I married him three times. We had the civil ceremony, then we had a Greek wedding, then we had a Canadian wedding. That was a cute poor thing.

I know. Seriously. And he explained she's like the biggest cultural difference is that in America, we're used to just buying a new house every five years. But in the European culture, you get a house for life, you know, and I just don't see the need for finding rooms to collect dust. You could have a study or you could have a home office. So that way, maybe your wife doesn't have to travel an hour

to get to work because you want to have access to a cabal. Yeah, I'm just like, well, I have started learning Greek and cats like, okay, how about this? Answer to this. How are you Canadian more on fuck face? It's like, that was in English actually. Oh, sorry. No, that's actually Greek for saying that's Greek too.

We have overlap. I also liked when they were in the market. One last thing in the market was that he saw some like walnuts and he's like, oh cool walnuts, let's get these walnuts. And she's like, well, my dad grows both in the village. So we don't really want to buy those. I'm sure you would have realized that if you've ever listened to me, your wife, ever, whenever I say my dad grows the best walnuts, we don't buy walnuts except for my father where we get them for free.

You stupid idiot. Yeah, you moron. Uh, so then cats like, well, maybe one day we will please this foreign prince. Like, here we go. Let's try this one. There's this ghost of work and there's a place with a beard on the street. So they face time to parents and the parents are so excited and she's like, I hope this is the one mom And he's like, oh god, it looks old. Sorry. That's your dad. Where which one are you showing us?

Yeah, so now it's house number four It's not it's it's not near any cafes or restaurants, but it's five to 10 minutes from Despina's work. So yeah, so they do that video and Keith is like, oh, it's old. So they go in, it's a really big space. There's a weird lamp in the corner that looks like spaghetti. And it's like, overall, it looks like a,

so far it looks like a pretty great option for them because it has all that space. Yeah, it's much bigger. It has a small kitchen, but it's like a separate kitchen. And he's like, well, I would tear down that wall. And she's like, no, I like a separated kitchen. We have that. My mom and dad could work and they could cook and then they could serve it to us.

And he's like, oh, so let me guess. We're going to have parties where I'm stuck in the kitchen working and then I serve you. No. Yeah. And he's also complaining about the windows. We're gonna have parties where I'm stuck in the kitchen working and then I serve you. No Yeah, and he's also complaining about the windows. He's like, uh, these are single pain Which means it's gonna get really cold and she just goes huh the man from the cold country dealing with the woman from the hot country Like yeah, I think I mean, I'm sure they're I'm sure for sure there's parts of Greece I get very cold But I'm also like do you know how hot Greece gets in the summer, it gets so hot. Yeah, I mean, it's like,

she's definitely influenced by her past. I mean, the kitchen being closed, that's something that's not being done anymore. Listen, sir, there's nothing wrong with the closed kitchen. I actually miss closed kitchens, okay? I miss everybody, like I miss people coming into my house and not immediately going,

ew, because they're shit all over my kitchen counters. Okay, a closed kitchen is a giant trash can where I can do whatever I want and then close the door. Yeah, that's, I think that's a very good, that's a very good pitch. I like that a lot. I personally like an open, open concept, but I don't, I don't turn my nose up at a closed kitchen.

I, I'm not at all. I think there's total value in that. Yeah, me too. I'm gonna start a new trend called closed walls. Closed rooms. Close rooms. I'm gonna make houses with rooms again and I'm gonna become a being.

No, it's totally gonna happen. It's totally gonna be a thing where someone says, I just love that it's like a separate space. Yeah. So Keith is, yeah, he's like, all, he's all, by the way, he's also very concerned about like her cousins coming over because she's like, oh, there's so much space to entertain. He's like, oh, your would be so much space to entertain. He's like, oh, your cousins, your cousins. Well, it's not gonna be your friends' Keith

because as far as I can tell, you don't have any friends so far. So who else do you wanna come on? He just knows that this place is gonna be their family all the time over there, which is probably true, but again, married to a different culture, you dope. You're married into and then moved to Greece, so. So they're one of the other things that comes out

is that there's gonna be like, there's bars on the windows, so they're on the first floor. And so she's like, oh, my parents are not going to like that it's solo, it's not gonna like it at all. He's like, yeah. So basically, she's like, you know, we will have more space for the family than they

have this argument again. And he's like, can you guarantee you need deaths in five years? And where are we going to get it? Because a normal way of life is people get married in within five years. It'll happen. And he goes, do you drive a van? No. But why don't you have one?

Just in case you want to drive one someday. I mean, that's the force him. Get out of it. I'm not the one who doesn't want to make room for kids. That means he's not planning on having having any, having any time soon. And who only wants to be by bars. That's like his biggest request. And get away from him.

And who would rather you to have a one hour commute every single day at best? Okay. That's like, that's obnoxious. And then he's also obnoxious to Kat. He's like, well, Kat really missed the mark on this one. Like, no, I think that Dismina missed the mark with you. Yes. Sir. Yes.

Keith from Vancouver. She missed a mark. Go find a mark. Okay. Go find mark. Yeah, mark, mark, the mark, there's some like, yeah, there's gotta be some mark. In this case, Yeah, Mark, Mark, the Markos or something like that. Yeah. It's gotta be some Markos.

In this case, I agree with your parents. Go find a nice Greek boy. Yeah. So now, just being at a Keith and her mom, they all go to a restaurant to talk things over. And he's like, I'm just like not used to like discussing things with parents. I just like tell my parents, like,

this is what I'm doing. I'm going to Greece. I'm like tell my parents like this is what I'm doing. I'm going to Greece. I'm gonna eat a cabab. I'm going to convert my wardrobe into an all-grace sweater wardrobe. It's what I'm gonna do. Yeah well they're obviously not giving you $100,000 to buy your house either. So suck it up. Yeah. So the only thing they all agree on is the tiny place won't work. And he's like I love the place by the bar, but it's an hour from her work And she's like, but what about the three bedroom? There's not a lot of nightlife, but there's a nice view and he's like, eh weird kitchen. Yeah, weird

Yeah So and then he and he's and like house four is big, but he doesn't like the layout. As he doesn't like anyone's layout pretty much. Everything is like a flow issue from this guy is like the exact opposite of flow. If I ever think of the word flow, I don't think of this guy. I don't think of like, I think of like someone easy going and pleasant and he is like the epitome of like, like,

shit stuck in your gutter. Yeah, he's right. Like, like, he is the word stuck in your gutter. Yes. he's right. Like, he is the word. He's stuck in your gutter, yes. He's gross old slimy leaves. Yeah. So, yeah, so now it's like between house two, three, and four. House two, smaller, but central.

House three, refrigerator madness, which I think is the... I call it refrigerator madness, because the refrigerator is on the other wall, and then house four is when we go round floor Right and the mom is so sweet by the way He's being such a little snot and the mom's being so sweet and keeps smiling and She's like, well, what do you think mom? And she's like, oh, I say You know, which probably meant fuck this skinny little runt like go find somebody decent

She's like, well, she says that she likes the three bedroom, and I agree because family and he's like the kitchen, ew, and that air, I didn't like it. And then the number two at least had a better area, ah, the commute longer, but you can find ways to make it faster. I mean, you'll get used to, you'll find back roads. Look, that's the, what's, get a job, okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Okay, this may be stereotypical, but the place where I least imagine a commute speeding

up is Greece. I'm sorry, I just don't think that's going to happen. Yeah, I don't think so either. So he's like, well, I'm choosing the tube ad room. And so the mom says, let's meet in the middle and compromise because you should love each other. And that's what love is. It's compromise. Also, just get the one that's close to the middle and compromise because you should love each other and that's what love is. It's compromise

also Just get the one that's close to the bars and restaurants. We can meet someone else Cuz you're not gonna have kids with this guy so go but be by the bars restaurant meet a new guy Divorce his ass and then move into the three bedroom by your way. Yes so He's like oh, so we all agree on the two bedroom great Yeah, wow. Because she's basically like, okay, in the spirit of compromising,

you did move here to my country, so I will do this, which I think is bullshit. I, I, I, because he's gonna, if he uses that to get anything he wants in this marriage, it's not gonna be good. Yeah, I don't think this is gonna be good. I think at some point, probably one of her cousins is gonna be like, listen girl, that guy's an asshole.

Okay, now get him out of here. Can't wait. So three months later, there they are. They've got a cat on the table. It's on the car. It's on the car. But I know you loved. The real estate agent is just returned to her natural form.

She's like, oh, it might not me. I found you. My work is done here. Now I can be cat again. And listen, I like the apartment. I actually you. My work is done here. Now I can be Catholic. And listen, I like the apartment. I actually really like the apartment. I think it's a great apartment. I just feel like for her needs, it's just not fair.

I feel like every single thing that she wanted was totally not addressed at all. And I thought that this was wrapped up in the guys of compromise when there was literally nothing about this that had anything that she needed to her wanted. Yeah, and then I just let it run because I was finishing something up. And the next episode was like kind of a bitchy gay guy moving to London. We should look at that one.

Oh, yeah. It's funny. His friend is showing him around London. He's like, well, it's not his house. So I think it's going to be my choice. Okay. I was like, yeah. Works for me.

That's the thing about this show. You could just sit there and let it run for days. Yeah, it's always the same ship. It's always so good. There's always so good. Disco's and diapers. It's like, yeah. Oh, I've actually seen that one.

I've seen that one when they're in Zurich or something like that. Yeah. And like the wife, and that one, the wife is like, Tolly Chill and the husband is like holding on to, like, bar hopping from his 20s. And she's like, um, we have a baby. We have a baby.

Yeah. Oh, wow, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us today. We will be back next week with another episode in the meantime. In the meantime in the meantime meanwhile meantime you'll find us over watching the lives of idiots you can follow us on Instagram or Twitter you'll find out all of our new stuff coming out just go over there we're watching what crap is on insta and what crap is on Twitter

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