Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello 11: Out of Time in Montana

Episode Date: January 5, 2021

We're taking a look at season 170, episode 12 of House Hunters this week, which features a couple trying to accommodate that most essential home amenity: the hidey hole.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, hello, it's me Ronnie and that's been over there. Hi, man. Hey Ronnie Let's go on everybody. Thanks for joining us here for dual hello Catch us on our other show watch what car abans will you probably already are cuz it's in the same podcast Love doing that one and we are loving doing these house hunters episodes. We've only got two more left this season, including this one, including this one.

I'm about to say we only have one more after this, which is the same. Yeah. That's what you just said in a different use of words. Well, hey, you know what? It wore more words, feel more time. And that's why we need four hours. So today's episode was brought to us by a listener and we found this on YouTube TV. Now I've record house hunters anyway because you know, got a habit and it was must

must have aired recently because it was actually in my library already. Wow. This is from the classic brand of house hunters, regular house hunters season 170 episode three out of time in Montana Yes, and it sometimes the episode numbers are a little messed up depending on where you're finding your episodes So just make sure it's called out of time in Montana guy. Yep Well, this was a delight of an episode wasn't it. I'm really glad that this was recommended to us because I was wondering before I watched the episode, I was like, how many times can the phrase hideyhole be used in 30 minutes? And now I finally have the answer. Hideyhole!

Okay, this is one of those couples that's just the most hated kind of cut, at least in my house, which consists of me and my dog be a There this is the most hated couple in my house. I hate this kind of couple I hate them where the woman's like a ball-busting nag stereotype and then the man is just a one-e-little Well, he doesn't express himself so he doesn't express himself So then she becomes more shrill and the more shrill should become the less he expresses himself. It's the classic cycle. It's the couple that are always fighting and she's like nagging, but then he's like,

like, you see why she's like, you see where, why she is, how she is, and then you see why he is, how he is, and you just don't want to wait on either one of them. You see that table come into the restaurant and you immediately get the new kid on it either one of them. I'm saying that. You see that table come into the restaurant and you immediately get the new kid on it, you know? And what's fun about this couple is that they've clearly gone to like one session of therapy before probably he quit, but they got like one or two tools and they've just been relying on those two tools

for like three years now, because every now and then in this episode, you see your talking in like therapy tool speak. Like when you do this, I feel this. And whenever she does it, she looks at him, like she doesn't look at the camera, she looks at him, like we agreed that this, that we would do this, use this tool when we have, when we have tension, right?

That's why I'm looking at you to make sure you co-sign the fact that we're using the therapy tool we learned on that one session before you demand it that we quit. Yeah, because we find out in this episode that they had a house before, but they lost it. Like they had to do a short sale and move cities or something and they had to they lost their house and ruined their credit and ruined everything and so they're trying to come back from

that. But you know that there was a moment where one of them was about to jump off the balcony crying, and then the other one was like, you better get back in here, you fucking loser. And then it just got so bad that they talked to a preacher or something. And I said, now when you talk to each other, you should do it without razors in your hand or threatening to kill each other.

And you know, ask a lot of questions, and then they took that and they ran with it. Yes, exactly. So here we are. We see, you know, a little preview of what's to come, which is this woman who looks sort of like Montana's answer to Katy Perry saying, we need to find a house immediately

because it's like, that stands right now, we're homeless, we are homeless, which I love when people say that when they're actually sitting in a beautiful home with like updated appliances Which I love when people say that when they're actually sitting in a beautiful home with like updated appliances. I love when people do that. And they both got notebooks out to like, I'm serious. No, I'm serious. No, I'm serious.

No, I am more serious. After accepting an offer on their house, Shannon and Michael are in a rush to find a new home in Billings, Montana. And she's like, this, you just see a clip of them looking. This is completely not the area we wanted to look in. Well, all the houses we looked at haven't worked out. We need to find something. Yeah! My feeling is this, if you have residual trauma

from the 2008 financial crisis, don't live in a city called Billings, okay? Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Live somewhere like flush. Flush, Montana. don't live in a city called Billings, okay? L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- I'm just ill. Yeah. That's right, it is just ill, sorry. Let's stick it to a whole new place. Yeah, I mean, I'm not ill. Well, I wouldn't have been able to get to ill if you hadn't brought up illing, so. So we see them looking around,

and we already can tell from the preview that, like this relationship is all fucked up. The realtor, who looks just like, the realtor who just is like shell shock, I think the realtor, I feel like the realtor is their friend, and like, the realtor who just is like shell shocked. I think the realtor, I feel like the realtor is their friend and like, but not like a close friend,

but like a friend they like met at a party and then they were like, hey, listen, I have, I remember I met you through Patty, listen Nicole, I was thinking that you could show us some houses and Nicole was like, yeah, that'd be awesome. And now after having spent like a few hours with this couple, she's like, why did I sign up to be with this awful, awful couple? I'm never doing this again.

And I'm calling Patty afterwards. She hates them. And you know that she's just gotten divorced or something because she has no patience for the husband and it's hilarious. Like at one in the preview, they even show where he's like, Oh, all right, you guys go look, I'm gonna go down on the bass run. And the real estate lady goes, oh, really shocker.

Yeah. As usual. And Nicole, the real tour goes, well, they both have different tastes. I mean, Michael, it's always hard with him because I'm not sure if he's gonna speak up, you know, because he keeps it all inside. Yeah, typical, typical, just like my ex.

When their wish list collide, tempers flare, and then we just see Mike go, so far it's all what you want, I want things too. But what we don't realize is exactly what you want. I was just saying that like when he, I was just like commenting that we don't really No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, communication. He doesn't shut up the whole time, whining and loaning. He's okay. I'm actually on her side. I have to say I'm on her side because I feel like she has been broken by this man. Um, I, you know what? I've been saying this a lot in our recap lately, but I'm never on the side of people who marry weak people and then are frustrated by it. I just don't like it. I don't think it's a good excuse.

Like, I didn't make you marry this weakling. You know, that's your own fucking pro. It's like you bought it like a... What if he sold her a bill of goods? A billings of goods, see? It all comes together. Okay. So, happy music.

Welcome to Billings. Hey, Mom. Hey, guys. And she even sells mad at her kids. Her kids coming from school. She goes, guys cooking soup for dinner. Yeah, this was oh Like every kid loves to hear like every kid like Thanks for announcing that mom great. How about you give me a yep, I just are candy cookies Like what kid wants to come on be like hey, I'm making soup for dinner

I don't think I don't think there's literally any kid that cares about that Also anything to go in the house mom. Okay. Nope. Okay. We'll be about McDonald's she's like And the thing is this you could tell this was a scene that she's like I'm gonna show people that I'm actually very warm and relatable And I'm actually the good person this relationship. So I'm gonna show them how fun I am Hey, I'm making soup for dinner. They're like hmm It's not the best you can do. Yeah, so the husband Mike is like I'm a police officer and I'm a clinic manager I was like that sounds like a stressful couple. I've felt like already strep both of those jobs sound stressful

I know I feel like one of their jobs leads to the other job so they live in I know. I feel like one of their jobs leads to the other job. So they live in, they live in Billings and Shannon grew up in Billings. So she has a lot of Billings opinions and they have two children, Olivia and Killian. And Michael's like, oh, we're not first time homebars. You know that she's probably like, I thought we agreed we we weren't gonna talk about our 2008 drama on television. Yeah I said to put the dirty laundry behind the door and shut it. I guess I shouldn't I guess I should be more specific next time About my orders you idiot

So she tells us the story she they were in Boise, but their kid had medical issues and Because they moved in 2008, which was the financial crisis, they had to do a short sale on the property and they lost everything. And so they started over and we're renting for five years. But then this was their second starter home. So this right here, this little passage, I mean, and she gets choked up. And I'm like, there are some hard core, like Edward Albe's shit that happened in these few lines here. Okay, but they were in Boise.

They had to move back to Billings. Okay, so you know there was also to fight for that. You're like, you're in Boise, D.M. Okay, they're in Boise. No, you know, you know it's like, it's like, well, we have to, like, we can't, I'm gonna need help. I'm gonna need help. I'm gonna need help. We need to go home. We need to go back to buildings. I need my family's help.

It's like, oh yeah, it's always about your family. What about my mom? Why can't my mom help? I know, I trust your mom, but it just be more helpful. You're a police officer. I wasn't the one who told you to be a police officer. I told you to be in a accountant. Well, fine. We'll go back to buildings and I won't resent you at all. Just kidding. I'm gonna hold this against you for the rest of our marriage You know that's what all those shading all this and then it was probably a thing like fine If we go back to Billings then I get to choose the house and it's like fine You get to choose the house and then he choose the house and now the house now they are

They bought a house they couldn't afford and so now she's presented him about that You know there's like layers to this little like this little backstory that they have. There's layers and everything they say like nothing is good ever. Okay. She gives. So we found this home which has been great because it's the second starter home. And so we decided we wanted forever home and he's like, yeah, but then we found a buyer. Well, you were selling a house and you found a buyer. It's good news. That's great news. That's great news. It's called rent an apartment for a few months. You're buying your forever home.

You don't want to brush your forever home. Buy an apartment and like take your time and enjoy the process. Also, just the term forever home is so depressing. Like, do I have to fucking marry a house? No, it's a shell, okay? Move into it with something leaked, sell that shit and move to a different one forever home. Get out of here. Also, you don't want to come's a shell, okay? Move into it with something, leak, sell that shit and move to a different one forever home.

Get out of here. Also, you don't want to come see you anyway, okay? Just keep moving, keep trading up. They have to say forever home because that means that implies that perhaps their marriage and their home will last forever. And the truth is they should have emerged with a crisis, realizing that nothing lasts forever, like even homes, and you should enjoy the home that you're in and hope that it lasts forever,

but be open to the idea that you may have to move at some point in your life. Well, we're gonna be homeless now. He's like, well, we gotta figure out a neighborhood. Well, I wanna live on the West End. I'm like, oh my God, it's like the London Broadway. I love it. No, I don't wanna be snobby about Billings. I've never been there, oh my god, it's like the London Broadway. I love it. No, I don't want to be snobby about Billings. I've never been there and I'm sure it's beautiful

and I'm sure there is a West End, but there was something really funny to me about calling, like talking about the West End of Billings. We're going to live in the West End of Billings, Montana. The sun will come out tomorrow, just like a little English Annie. You know, I like Broadway shows in England. That's like the key back. Every tour. Okay, so let's shine light on the things that deserve to be lit up. And I have to say, let's give, let's have a positive moment and say, I absolutely loved the bowl that her son was eating. I guess, soup, the famous soup out of.

There was like a, it was a beautiful bowl. Like her, her bowl taste was great. And it gave me a lot of hope that you would have a really good eye for interior design. Unfortunately, her eye began and ended with that bowl. But, at that moment, I with that bowl, but at that moment, I loved the bowls, I loved the bowls. Yeah, let's watch Hoaps slowly extinguish throughout this episode. So she wants to west end and by the way, I like a ramp-style home because I grew up in

that. It's comfort. I want to marry my mom and dad too and I want a poodle because that's what I grew up in and I don't drive cars because I grew up riding a bike So that's all I do now Seriously on his face, it's just like these like Like a fucking ranch house, so she wants a five-bedroom house. She doesn't know what a ranch house is, which is pretty funny too What is she literally don't look at any ranch houses? And every time they walk out to them, she's like, oh my God, it's a ranch.

Just what I wanted. Ranches are not three stories tall. Ranches are one story homes, ma'am. Oh, I'm looking up and I have an idea of what a ranch house is, but now I'm questioning whether or not, yeah, that's a ranch. Kinda like a 60's style.

Like a standard. It's kind of 60's ish, yeah, like a standard. It's like a classic standard. Hold it. If you're drawing a house, it's like a ranch house chance. Sorry. If you're drawing on it, it's a favorite. All house. Generally, there are one floor and spread out, so instead of, you know, everything being stacked like in a multi-story house. Yeah. So which, you know, you want to live there when you're old? Yes, very big entry.

Yeah, so you can get from place to place. So, any huzzles. So, she wants a ranch house, and she does up talking, which is like, I want a ranch-style home, because I grew up in there, and it's comfort. The lady's working my nerve, you know? Yeah. So then, they go see a five bedroom, two and a half bath.

Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. We have not even discussed what he wants, OK? And let me tell you what he wants, all right? Well, also, let's also mention that she wants a kitchen with stone countertops and she wants a separate laundry room. And then he goes, that's your list. What about my stuff?

So what's my stuff? Okay, and so Mike goes, Shannon's very vocal, but here's what I want. Okay, I'm like, you don't have to take a dig at your wife to explain what you want, is it? Also, you're being vocal, you're saying what you want. Like what the hell? Yeah, he goes, here's what I want.

I don't really care what you want. Oh, he was mocking her. I'm sorry, that's even worse. He's actually just mocking her. So, and then, oh, and so this is, so then she goes, I'm making a conscious effort, not to be the stronger decision maker in the house on. That was a therapy tool.

We learned in our one session that we'd never follow it up on because Mike said it was stupid quackery. So that's where we are with our marriage. Yeah, it's really important that he has to say because if he doesn't have a say, then who am I going to blame for everything I don't like about the house, you know, which I suspected and she didn't, that wasn't her exact quote, but that's like the idea that I was taking from her. Because I was like, by the end of this, she's going to give him everything he wants. And then the whole time that they're in this, she's going to be like, well, we're here because you wanted to be here.

Exactly right. So then she's like, okay, well, what do you want to add to this list? Okay, since you've been silent and do you want resentment? Do you want that? Would you like that in the house? Resentment? Okay, yours are frustration. Okay. So he's like, well, I want my studio. Where's my hide Hol'at? And then we find out that he needs to have a creative space for drawing, and then we see him just, he's drawing, he's like doodling a dog. He's big on dogs and horses, okay?

And he wants a Heidi Hol'at, and we all know that that means he wants somewhere to jerk off that he's not gonna cut. He wants to hear you coming down the stairs. Is what you want. Because when we see his hidey hole at the end, it is not just a place to sketch. It's like multiple computer monitors.

Like the guy is checking his Bitcoin and jerking it. And you know that that's the truth. If you're just drawing doodles of horses and dogs, here's what I call a hidey hole, a pad and a chair in the corner. Okay, go at it. So then, so he also wants a Heidi Hol, a pad and a chair in the corner, okay, go at it. So then, so he also wants a craftsman, and, et cetera. And so the other thing is that the kids want

bigger rooms, the daughter wants a closet, and the mom's like, Shannon's like writing it down. She's got it, yeah, got it. As she's like, I'm totally writing this down, because of course, your children have a say on this house. I'm just writing it down, knowing coming out of my pen, my pen must have died, sorry kids. We'll remember what you want.

I actually felt for these kids. They seem so nice. And I was like, Oh my God, you're going to grow up thinking all of this is normal. You know, all the fighting and like bitching at each other. And what do you want? Well, what can I get what I want? It's like you're ruined. You're both ruined. So Shannon's like, I have a feeling that he's not going to be very open. Like, when you don't speak up, I feel that it's okay to make the decision. That was another therapy tool. You know how I phrase that, Mike? When you don't speak up, I feel. Yeah. She's like, well, I'd like to stay at 400,000. And he's like, well,

where we're looking, we need, I mean, we might need to go up because of where we're looking. West end. She's like, well, how high? And he's like, well, I mean, 414, 424 fucking rock and fellers over here. I mean, if we want all that, I mean countertops, come on. And this is all happening while they're perusing the rocket mortgage app. It's like a random like product placement of the movie episode so anyway Everyone put on your tuxedos because we're going to the west end of Billings. Hey, oh This house is way over our price range needs like what we have to get what we want

So they go to the house and she's like, it's Ram style. And then you just hear me from the back seat going, no, it's not stupid. And he goes, it's not natural enough for me, not enough natural touches. I'm like, spoiler alert, there's not a single house, this entire episode that has any natural touches. You know, this is all for Mike, that we're going to.

So the real estate agent ladies like, well, I think this is more up Shannon's alley. Mike, I'm not really sure he can talk. I have to like, I have to read him and see if he's smiling. So I've brought this fly swatter to just smack him him other rest and remind him that he's alive. So they walk in and you know it's like a nice living room. This Harvard floors. There's this big white brick fireplace which I don't know if I love those white bricks, but that's whatever.

That's a might like the white washed brick or whatever. I mean, it was pretty nice at a big open kitchen and nice deck which was nice stone counters. a white washed brick or whatever. I mean, it was pretty nice at a big open kitchen and nice desk. Which was nice, stone counters. There was a room that had all these built-ins, which I thought was awesome. That was my favorite room, and I was also Shannon's favorite room. She's like, this is where I'm going to live.

Okay, I guess you could say it's kind of like my hidey hole. Mm. Yeah, too much. And my neck. This is my all out in the open hole. Watch me live here, stupid. Watch me not masturbating. Mike's like, well, you go to have fun. I'm gonna go down the stairs and check that out. And just we see he does this in every house. He just sleeves. He just completely leaves the scene. So she's like, okay, smell you later.

I'll be a smelier later. So he goes down and she tells us that it's really frustrating when he just walks off because she needs to know what he wants. You know what, I get that. This is ridiculous that he does this because he's not even looking at the rest of the house and then he's gonna be the one be like, I don't like it.

Well, you didn't even look at the rest of the house and it's kind of like bullshit. You should walk together, see the same rooms together, discuss as he goes through, so that way, like, because what's gonna happen, okay? I'm sure this is what's edited out. He goes downstairs,

he sees something, and then she's like, well, look at the rest of the house, and then they have to go through the rest of the house an entire second time, and he could have just been there the entire time. So like, why not, your wife, one thing that she needs emotionally from you

is for you to be present. So what the fuck? I think he doesn't want her constantly. What don't you like this? I mean, this is what I want. Look at this. Look clearly. This is totally what I want.

Look at these rucksals. I think it's like, can you just sleep me alone? Let me check out the fucking hidey hole. Okay. I mean, like, obviously, this is a miserable marriage. And then he's like, he tells us that he just likes to go off on his own. And I just like some quiet time

without distractions from anyone else. That's the best. And then they have a close up of Shannon's face. And I'm like, okay, this is not like someone saying, hey, like for the next four hours, you need to work on this document and he's like, I need some quiet time. It's like, you're looking through a house.

It's not like, look through the house, your wife. This is bullshit. You need quiet time to look at the basement. No, I'm sorry. So they're looking around. There is a laundry room, but it's small. And then there's a big closet that they come across and she says, oh my god, this could be his hidey hole. And I was like, okay, you see, that's not

listening to him. That is not. Hey, it's closet. We'll just turn this closet. Your dad can sit in the closet and masturbate with his drawn horses. Okay. Yeah. And then by the way, the laundry room is like a perfectly good sized laundry room. And she's like, I'm not sure this would fit our washer and dryer in it. Let alone our piles of laundry. I'm like, you know what? All right, you're looking for houses on the West end.

And now you think you're miss fans who deserves an entire wing for your laundry machine. You could make it work, okay? It's perfectly good washing a drying machine room. So they could look at the upstairs. Yeah, like where are you getting the most giant laundry machine ever? They're standard size, man.

Yeah. So they go to the upstairs bathroom in bedroom and, you know, she's like, oh, it's not quite as big as I thought it would be, but oh, look, another closet. That could be a Heidi hole. And he's like, I'm not buying it, bitch. Yeah. And then, so then they like go downstairs and he's like, okay, I'm just he's gonna show her the bed The the basement and everything and he's like I don't like this basement. It's all like pretty and stuff

And he's like and look at this room and there's like a long narrow room with like lots of shelves And he's like it's definitely not a hidey hole and they're all like grossed out by the room. I'm like This room with all the storage is a dream Why do you guys not love having this room where you can put all your random shit? And she's like, well, he's very quiet today. If he doesn't say anything at all, I am quite capable of making this decision on my own.

I'm like, why are you threatening us? How's the yelling at us? So the real estate agent's like, so guys, what'd you think? And he's like, well, nothing would work as a hidey hole. It's more of what Shannon wants, not what I really want. Really, because you didn't see the rest of the house, okay? You didn't see it.

So then, all he wants is a hidey hole. Like he literally does not care about anything else. He's like, I do whatever you want upstairs, I want a hidey hole. I want to be Jessica in a well. Do you understand me? That is what I want. Overall, I thought House number one was a pretty good house. So I was like, I think you can make Heidi holes work there.

You can figure it out. One was nice. Yeah, number one was nice. So now they go to House number two. So now they go to House number two. Which is also at the top of their prize range. The first one was like 425,000. This one's 419 and they really don't want to go over 400.

So it's a 2013 ranch style. And she's like, so that's definitely good for me. And he goes, I know that's what you want. I love their ranch style of resentment. That's like driving a wedge between the two of them. No. Man, it's a six veteran three bath, which is humongous, and he just finds any little thing he can to hate. Because this one's really pretty, I mean, comparatively.

And he's like, not a fan of the vinyl siding. I was like, well, I'm sorry for trying to protect your home, sir. I know. I'm sorry, sir. Sorry for being vinyl and an amazing covering for your home. Exactly. And I'll see, I, from the outside, I thought this looked a little generic.

This is a very generic house. Like the first house was also generic, but this is even more generic, which is, it just was very generic. So then Nicole's like, well, I'm showing them this house because it's the ranch style that Shannon loves. And I think that Michael can find his hidey hole here. I don't know.

I mean, I always thought you could masturbate anywhere, but apparently he has, you know, certain needs. And we knew that Shannon was going to like this place because her coat matched the front door. So you knew already I was like, I bet she looked this up on Zillow and color coordinated. I just hope that they don't have a neighbor wherever they move. I just hope they don't have a neighbor named Heidi because it's going to get really awkward really quick. Yeah. So this ranch has like actually a very open concept when you walk in. It's actually I think it's

actually too much of an open concept. It's like it's like oh well we know that people like open concepts. So we're just going to have a big open space with nothing interesting in it, except for like this kitchen in the corner that has the world's ugliest backsplash. Yeah, the back splash was that weird bronze like actual bronze tin thing. Yeah, it was like those granite countertop. She said it wasn't granite, right? But it looks granite to me. It's still not a stone. Yeah, but it looked like that me. It's still not a stone countertop, but it looked like that splotchy granite

that everybody used in the 90s. Everything was brown. Everything was brown granite, brown walls, brown floors. The stovetop was like an induction stovetop. It was like a big flat piece of blackness right there. It just was like, it wasn't like the worst thing in the world, but there's Everything about this house just felt like it was devoid of character Well, you know, that's perfect for some people. Yeah, I mean

It's a blank canvas to draw your own little doggy horse on if you will So she's like well, I want him to have everything he wants, but when he goes off by himself like that, because already he's like, I'm going to the basement. See, he's out of there. And the real estate lady's like, as usual, like she's already over him. Well, he goes down and she, but before he goes down, he does have a complaint,

which is that he doesn't like kitchens, and that he, so he doesn't like, he doesn't like the idea of walking in and seeing the kitchen, and he also doesn't like kitchens. And so he doesn't like, he doesn't like the idea of walking in and seeing the kitchen. And he also doesn't like open concepts. So he's already nagging the house because there's a nice size kitchen in it, which is also like, so you're allowed to have a hidey hole,

but everything else has to be. What if she wants a nice, she said she wants nice kitchen. And so you're just gonna like nag her kitchen and just like destroy that dream for her. And then they go out to the yard. And there's like this big, there's like a big toy and a trampoline. And Shannon's like,

oh, the kids really love this. And so with Mike, he's like a giant kid. Look, he loves trampolines and he's just staring there. Like, nothing about him has any sort of child like wonder. He's just like miserable in his life, just waiting to get to the hidey hole. But it is a nice contradiction to see in him because a trampoline is like the opposite of a hidey hole. It's like a big round thing you don't walk into but instead it like propels you upwards you know. So I like seeing some I like seeing some flavor

in Mike. Yeah. So anyway, yeah, he's like clearly resenting the fact that she's working for Interim as a giant kid because it's like, it sounds like a compliment to us, but you know that like it's one of his triggers, like don't infantilize me, infantilize me. Don't treat me like a child. Yeah, and he probably says it while he's crying and stopping his feet.

In his hidey hole. So he goes downstairs and she checks out the house. So it's kind of tacky. It's got like faux fancy things in it, like a faucet shaped like a bird's mouth. So stupid. With random circle mirrors. Yeah.

And she doesn't like the carpet, but and she says, it's smaller than I like, but I can see the kids in here. I'm like, it's six bedrooms. Why aren't you acting like the queen of England lately? I know. So then they have to find Michael and so Shana goes let's find him again So it's me and there's three bedrooms down in the basement area and he's like, you know what? There is nothing in this space that would bring out my creativity. Okay, sir

It's her. Excuse me, Andy Warhol. Andy Warhol. Sorry, I didn't realize that. Like, Basquiat was here. Yeah, it's my house's fault, my horse drawing sucks. Yeah, so she's like, oh, I don't see what's wrong with it. And he goes, well, I'm talking now. I mean, so far it's everything you want.

You're getting your kitchen. You're getting your ranch house. I want what I want, too. And she's like, okay, well, I guess we're not going to use the tools that we received on that therapy, at that therapy session that we went to one time. And that you said you could never go to again. So I'm glad we're not taking advantage of the money we spent for that session. Okay, jeep, breaths. So like the laundry room, that one's nice, but the master's a little small and she's like that would definitely not hold his things this closet

I mean that is definitely too small and the ladies like don't worry. There's another one There's another closet by the by the double sinks in the bathroom and he's like So but what about my hidey hole? There's nothing in here that would work for my hidey hole, for my space, what about my hidey hole? It's like, you guys, he literally says hidey hole this many times. He's easy from the joke. We're not joking. Every room they walk into, he says something about a hidey hole.

And she's, Edson Nichole's like, well, time is of the essence. You know, maybe we'll have to look for something outside of the West and, and Shannon's like, well, I don't like the fact that we're now looking outside of where we decided we wanted to be. I mean, I literally already bought my very fancy hat for the West End and now what's it gonna be used for?

Now what? So they're driving the house number three, guess what Mike says. I need a hidey hole. We know Mike, oh my God. And she's like, well, I want to live on the West End. And you know what? That's not something I feel I should have to compromise on.

So I love that she can't even compromise right. She's like, I will agree to what I will compromise on. I just wrote a note that says Mike talking about how we need to hide the whole. It's just like. So now they're like, now they'll receive them in their basement. And's just like, yeah. So now they're like, and now they'll receive them in their basement. And she's like, I want a new house.

And she's like, I'm just not really looking forward to this because I guess not even in the area that we completely wanted to look at. And he's like, well, all the house, we look at, haven't worked out, we need to find something. I'm like, they haven't worked out because you've only looked at their basements. Okay. You're throwing out everything for a Heidi Hol.

Heidi Hol, you could go. I don't touch the Holm by its basements, sir. So they go to a four bedroom house, which is smaller, but it's a lot lower in price. It's like what, 360 or something? Three? It's cheaper, right? It's like a hand.

It's like a hand. It's seven. So it's pretty cheap. And the mom is just freaking out, because's the wrong side of town blah blah blah And I don't want to compromise on that but they go in and He's like listen. I'm not sure about this either. There was no word on Heidi holes And he tells us in the past I'm always open to accommodating people, but not now now is my forever home I'm always open to accommodating people, but not now.

Now is my forever home. Now is when everyone has to do everything for me. Everyone has to give up all their dreams for a house to make me happy. So I will say this, I actually thought this one had the nicest six-year-old or so far. I thought this was the curb appeal. I thought this was the best one.

And he says it's a craftsman because it has wooden stone on the front. You know how they put the foes on every. Yeah. What do you call them? Like the forever you cover the house in, you know? Yeah. The facade. Yeah. The time I call and get the foe the facades on the house. And this one happens to have some stone and wood and he's like, Oh my God, a craftsman. No, sir, this is not a craftsman. But I'm glad you got a facade that you liked to carry on. So they walk in and chants, like, well, I'm immediately turned off by the split level.

I mean, it looks a little bit too much like a relationship. And he's like, well, no, but it's set back. So it's not like you're walking straight into some stairs. And then we see like a wide shot and they're literally walking into a staircase, like right there. And so this one's interesting because he immediately likes it because the outside has the facade that he wants.

Like it's so crazy and obviously she does not like it, which makes him like it more. Which is just so weird. How are these two, Mary? Just break up. And she hates the split level, which I actually really enjoy a split level. I think they're very fun, but she hates it.

And I think that actually as split levels go, this one was not a split level that I loved. No, this was like someone took out another room and decided to put the kitchen there and get it out of the way or something. Yeah, because it was like the kitchen was, it was like the only thing that was on the split level was the kitchen.

It was like, it's gonna get stuck to split level was the kitchen. It was like, it's okay. It's up to this brown kitchen. And then he's like, of course, the first thing he does is head downstairs. She's like, all right, see upstairs later, theoretically, if we're still married. She does it. She likes it. It's not a white kitchen, which is something you never hear on these shows. Because normally people are like, I want a white kitchen. It's like the biggest jerk off thing on these shows.

But this one's like really colorful and weird and she likes it. But she says these counters are not stone. And then I saw what she means. They're like, it's like a formica that looks like granite. And I wonder if that was on the last one too. And what is it with billings that they just have this formica that looks like granite?

They just love this brown granite looking thing. Well, I mean, if someone says they want a stone countertop, does that mean granite or is granite granite and a stone more just like does she want? I don't know. You know, when she said, if someone said I want a stone, I mean, obviously marbles of stone, you know, those are stones, but it sounds like they would want

like a texture like that. Yeah. I wasn't sure of stone or something. I didn't notice you meant like quartz. Yeah, I still don't understand. I think that maybe she saw something in a catalog once and she may be confused herself. Yeah, or maybe she just means not a formica countertop because now two out of three have had formica countertop.

So, well, either way, this place is really fogg. Like, every wall is sort of yellow, it's bad, yellow, and then there's like a coffee shop in the early 2000s. Very, like it's, yeah, I had like a 90s look. And then there's like in the master bedroom, it's like, again, yellow walls, brown carpet everywhere. And there's like an accent wall,

and the accent wall is like a ruddy red. It's like a brick red. It's like, you know, a brown red, brackish color. It's just like gross. And then there's a central vacuum panel, which I thought was funny. And also, I didn't know that those existed outside of dorm rooms. Yeah, we used to have one in my house, Gory. My mom was so proud of it.

Yeah, she's like, we have central vacuum. It was like her big trump card. So yeah, they have that check. Well, that's crazy. And then guess what we find out. We see Mike going downstairs and he goes down to the basement and wait, but wait. There's another basement. It's like, it's a double basement guys Two levels to the basement and he's like oh yeah Michael can not not only can he masturbate he can actually take off his pants all the way down to his ankles to master Because there's enough time to pull them all the way back up. Yes, you can hear them coming down two flights of stairs And this one is unfinished. It's all like cement on it.

He could murder somebody in there. I mean, this is a perfect room for this weirdo. Yeah, and he's like, well, it is unfinished. And Shannick goes, yeah, it is. Like a lot of my emotional needs. It's a huge project and that is not attractive at all. Also, I don't like the basement. You're enough of a project, okay?

I know, I don't need two projects in my life. Yeah. So, but he's like, no, but this could be my hidey hole. This is what I want, my hidey hole. So there's like some kids rooms downstairs. There's like regular closets. And then there's like a laundry room that she loves because it's like in a separate room,

which I thought all the other laundry rooms were, but whatever. And there's a cute, I like thought all the other laundry rooms were, but whatever. And there was a cute, I like the backyard. The backyard was very, very cute. I thought a nice little fire pit and stuff, but still so much the house was really fogged, and Shannon's like, I feel like this house gets Michael everything that he wants,

and I'll be making the biggest compromise here. But you know that he's gonna throw the fact they move back to Billings from Boise in her face as like his compromise. And she's sure to get it on the record that this is all for him. And I'm the one making the compromise here. And they're arguing and they're going out to the car and she's like, there's just like, there's things that I like to think that it can you let me in? Can you let me in? Cause he hasn't unlocked the car for her.

So you know how many times he does that to work. So I've had many times to tell you that when you walk out to the car, you unlock the doors for both of us. Yeah, so they're talking it over. And she basically this one has a huge unfinished space. So it's cheaper, but it's not in the neighborhood. They want Anchoff to spend more money to finish that space. And she's like, I'm the money wouldn't be getting

what I want in that house. And he's like, well, we got to pick something. Yeah, yeah, he's exactly. And then the narrator, the narrator comes in and says, they have to figure out what's more important, price, location, or Michael's hideyhole. I just want to repeat that price location two biggies right there or Michael's Heidihole. Michael's Heidihole as important as price location. Alright, now right now. She's like pull over like they don't even go to a nice coffee shop or anything. Usually they're like let's go to a pottery class while we discuss this. This time she's just like pull over any edge and they pull over. If I have to show my face in West Billings and tell people I'm moving to the other side of town, I need to be

mentally prepared to get to this fucking drive Michael. So tell me right now what the fuck are we doing? So the first house was nice. It's a lot of space. She loved the kitchen and he's like, um, but that room will not work for a hide-hole But what about the newer ranchers and open concept in the kitchen? But it wasn't stone and he's like no hide-hole No hide-hole options. I like house number three. It's because but it's in the wrong area Where will you where will I where will I put out my parasol? And he's like but it does have a nice kitchen for you.

And she's like, nah, no stone. Yeah. So, but it's like, they're so shady here, bandico. When they put them up on the screen, because option one, Shannon's ranch, option two, Shannon's other ranch. I didn't even see that. I didn't even see that. I didn't even see that.

Three Michaels craftsman. Oh God. So it's like time to make a decision. And so then we see their decision. And the first thing that Shannon says is, well, we're not divorced. Thank you. What? What?

Yes. Yeah. So like we discussed it and we came to this decision together. OK, by the way, and when he goes, yeah, so like we we discussed it and we came to this decision together Okay, by the way and when he goes yeah, I had to speak up and tell her what I wanted She was and he finally did and now they're like all nestly on each other and like totally in love It's the weirdest well because the reason so I'm by the way So of course they went for the craftsmen which had literally none of the things that she wanted and everything that he wanted and everything that he wanted was literally just a hidey hole.

So they went for the craftsman and yeah, they're all cheery now because I think that they probably had the worst fight and they went to the, they got to the brink of divorce and he probably did throw it in her face that they moved back to her hometown away from where he wanted to live and that I was the ultimate sacrifice that he made. And then she finally had to be like, you know what, this is bullshit. But if I agree to this house, he can no longer hold that over me

as he has the past 12 years of our life. And being released from that. I mean, that's what released from that. I mean, that's what released from that. Yeah, that Yeah, that's yeah, I just thought they're bone in I was like they they went down They also have been bone in like crazy because now all of a sudden they're all lovey-dovey and They're you know, they're with the kids and stuff. Oh, and she goes well, you know the house was listed at 385 and we got it for 384.

I was like, whoa, we're gonna do that. Wow, lady. And then she also goes, she also goes, well, we've learned from our past and we're not gonna get ourselves into a terrible financial situation again. And then she just looks at him like, that was your fault. That situation was your fault, Mike.

No more consensus. Right, short sale, I mean. Ha, ha, ha. So then they've only been there for a week, so nothing's like Nala's unpacked, and she's like, you know, location and style were compromises for me, and she does, there's like no but,

there's no other thing like, but I'm really happy here. She's like, yeah, I made compromises again, as usual. The kitchen was fantastic. I mean, there's no stone, but that was part of our deal, right? He said, we'll do work, but the first thing we're going to do is countertops. Yeah, that's what she gets out of it. I wonder did the countertops become before Heidi Holden makeover because they said the very first project. Yes, you said the first project is going to be the counters. Yeah, and they also brought in some hideous chairs. I was like, you know, this house is ugly

as it is. And then we see these terrible chairs in the living room. I was like, yeah, this is a lost cause, this whole thing. Why were we even caring where they're going to wind up? It's going to be terrible no matter what. Yeah. And that brings us to the end, everybody. What a fun episode. I mean, it was very toxic and dark. But it was. Oh, we should wait, I just want to mention the last word

where she goes, the last thing where she says, you know, this definitely feels like home to us and we're in a more mature place in our relationship and then he goes, finding a house really solidifies that. I'm like, okay, congratulations. You guys still believe that the house is going to solve all your problems. All right. Yeah.

Next season, they'll have a baby to try and make it work pretty much. Who was dark, but it's great. You know what's you know what else is dark, Ronnie? What a Heidihole. Heidihole. Latin up your Heidihole! Everybody, thank you so much for being with us. Join us next week for the season finale of Duel Hello! We will be singing Duel Goodbye!

Aww, so sad. I know. This has been a delight and I will see you next week on Dbell Hello. Thanks everyone. Bye! Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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