Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello 12: Type A Wife VS Laid Back Husband in Minnesota

Episode Date: January 12, 2021

It's the Dwell Hello Season One finale all about HouseHunters on HGTV . This week, go to Minnesota where a bossy wife is mad at her chill husband and also at her mom for not taking her side against the chill husband. For those following along, this is House Hunters season 179 episode 3 on Hulu. Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, Bayon. Howdy, what's up. Well, welcome to another wonderful jaunt through the world of house hunters, everybody. Ah, here we are. And today we're gonna be going to the snowy,

although not really snowy, the cold climbs of Minneapolis, Minnesota. Yeah, and it's another episode where Hinole, the wife is gonna get, I'm gonna get everything I want. We'll see what he gets. He's not gonna get nothing, because he can't do anything right. Yeah, I mean, we basically chose this episode

because we get to try to, you know, bungle our way through some Minnesota accents. Plus, there's a mom with Nancy Grace here, and we're usually usually drawn to that. So it was like a natural fit for us. Yeah, and she kind of looks like your mom, not that style. I know where the hair ain't a thing, but I was like, wow, Ben chose this episode and is a mother's day because he's basically picking an episode to recap with his mother. So any issues you need to get out of the table today, Ben? capital to some other so any issues you need to get out of the table today. Ben. It was she she there was a passing resemblance in the face, but obviously

definitely not the hair. And you know, I you know, I'm not saying that there's any like mother's on issues going on, but at the same time, you know, mom does always know best in my family. So maybe it's your mom playing same time, you know, mom does always know best in my family. So I know there you go. Maybe it's just your mom playing the role, you know, maybe she's been an actor this whole time. She's like, give me different hair. I'm going to do something different. How could you imagine? I'm expanding. So this is episode, what episode is this again? I forgot actually. It is season 179 episode three three and it's called type a wife versus late back husband in Minnesota or is I like to call it Ben's mom

I'll just say it or I'd like to call it every single episode of house Isn't my husband an idiot? I like the The continuing thing in house centers of like is my husband really an idiot or am I just an asshole and then it's always a different answer. Like sometimes the husband is just a total tool. You know, and you see where she's coming from and then sometimes she's just being really nasty and the husband's fault at all. But I find that in most of them they twisted on you because it looks like she's just being a brat and then it turns into oh no her husband's a fucking moron Yeah, that's that's usually what happens because usually like oh look at her look at how demanding she is

Oh, sorry, she she's demanding because she wants a nice back splash and he wants a turret on his house Like are we really supposed to be mad at the woman for this? Like he's an idiot. And by the way, when I was looking at house hunter episodes, it turns out there are a remarkable number of house house hunter episodes that are dedicated to men who want turrets. Okay, we reviewed one, we we posted one on a few weeks ago. There's another one with a castle that we talked about, but there's a few weeks ago, there's another one with a castle that we talked about, but there's like, oh, those are not outliers. There are a lot of guys in America

who want turrets on their McMansions. Well, blame cable television, you know, because we have short thrones and like black sales and not that that's even the same. I'm just watching it right now. And you know, all these manly, manly shows with like, I need a castle. They don't even know what turrets are because they it's like, you know, as long as

there's some sort of like round part of the house that has a staircase in it, they're like, it's a turret. I'm like, I'm not sure that's really like like really what a turret is. But well, this one opens up with the wife who's like, I love this. It's my dream kitchen. And we know she's a fashion maven because she's wearing like a Mexican blouse with like little fur balls dinging off the bottom. I was like, wow, she went shopping for weeks before this episode. Yeah. She's like, I'm chewing the night's house in the fur balls. I'm telling you that right now. Fur balls, because it's going to add a little bit of excitement. And I think it's going to

win over everyone. So then the narrator, who, you know, the, the, the judges person on these shows is the narrator, who just always seems exasperate. And she goes, well, take a, take a type A wife who knows what she wants, add a husband who's not afraid to push back what he needs to. And plus the wife's mom for real estate agent and I mean do I have to say any more people do I really really yeah I love the example she she always inserts into each of those things take a type a wife who knows what she wants well it needs works and there's no ifs answer but to about it and the husband is not afraid to push back I'm not driving all the way out here unless I know it's worth it.

And at the waist, mom, quit being so dramatic about the pain. And you got to receive for trouble, a recipe for trouble. I'm not receiving it. So I'd like to return this trouble, please. It wasn't as troubling as I want. I've got to receive trouble. Mm-hmm.

And then you see the mom see, you don't need a palace to move into on day one. Okay. And then we go to the kitchen where we've got some tricky camera work that I thought was really going to trigger you because it looks like there's a Chihuahua on the countertop just like hanging out eating. I was like Ben is going to hate that. But then we pull back and we see that it's just the angle and he's actually sitting on the top of the couch saved. Yeah it was tricky scary so we meet Megan and Michael and we see first they're just like chatting and you see Megan saying, well everyone's coming over so you need to change go

change and so and then we then we meet them properly and she's like my name's Megan and I'm banking and finding it's attorney in Minneapolis and then we then we meet them properly and she's like my name's Megan and I'm a banking and finance attorney in Minneapolis And then we see Mike and he's like and I'm Mike and I'm also a Banking and finance attorney and Minneapolis where we are those people. We're just the same We're not the most exciting couple, but we both have rings so there you go So she's like oh no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no my I'm oh god no oh oh oh no Michael no I mean it's like yeah Megan is extremely type A so yeah I like things lined up to a T and Michael is a complete opposite there can be some tension sometimes oh that's much better Michael that's much better now it's khaki with a darker khaki. That golf shirt changed everything.

Yeah, I'm glad you changed into that shirt that I laid out on the bed for you. That you ignored the first two times you put on shirts. Okay, this is where we're at. Very good. So they rent in downtown Minneapolis and it's great neighborhood and they can walk to work, but they've got one bathroom and the situation is atrocious. And Megan tells us, so Michael has about 10 minutes to use the bathroom in the morning. And sometimes he likes to go over that. And that's just not in the cards because he has his 10 minutes. We call it Michael 10. And it's a very, very strict 10 minute rule.

And sometimes Michael time goes into Megan time. And when Megan time is a little short, well, that makes Megan time and unhappy time. And we don't like it on happy Megan Time. Do we Michael? Do we? And he just opens his eyes real wide all the time. He's like, oh, that's his exasperation.

He's like, I'm thinking really hard. So they also have this kind of home, home goods decoration that I hate because it proves that they don't like each other. They bought those porcupine things that you put on the wall, you know, that are really sharp. And they're made out of metal. And what the fuck, why would anybody put those on a wall, especially in a hallway?

That's how you hurt yourself or your husband. And you know that she's like, what's Harry puts you in the hallway? Shouldn't it take him more than 10 minutes in the bathroom? Began time, sorry you're bleeding. Well, you know, what I like to do is I like to plan my walk. And I think, okay, there's something dangerous on the wall. So therefore, I am planning my walk away from the wall.

I will walk. I'll give myself two feet of upper space. But some people don't like to plan their walking space and they wait the last minute. And I guess they sometimes get hurt because they don't anticipate a white, flushing into the spiky thing. He's just bleeding through the whole episode.

So now we see them disagreeing on things. Like we gotta find the right price. We gotta find the right place. Yeah. He only wants to spend $400,000. And she just starts shaking her head. Like no, no, no, no. Listen, we can spend up to $575,000

for sure. Perhaps even a million. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. We are both finance managers, Michael. That is double finance manager, OK? We need a big yard for the dogs. And you know what I want?

A white kitchen. Yeah. So is that's another thing on this show. They either want the white kitchen and have to have the white kitchen. And if they don't have the white kitchen, someone is going to pay or they're like, God, I hate white kitchens.

The only thing I don't want in this house is a white kitchen. I know. That's why there are people are always so upset because the white kitchen people always want to be in the in the dark kitchen houses and the dark kitchen people always are looking for the white kitchens and what you know, like everyone's always in the wrong kitchen, you know, yeah. Kitchens are very important gas. Developers, there needs to be unity of what we want out of a kitchen and that way everyone can always be happy with the kitchens that they see. Yeah, Utopia of kitchens, it's just all the same. So she wants a single family home,

oh, you said this exactly. And then she says, you know what, whenever I get stressed out, I like to be. So even when I come home at nine or 10 o'clock, because I work long hours a little bit longer than my husband here, you know, I guess I just have a more high-powerful job. Okay. So I come home and I bake at nine or 10 o'clock. Okay, because that's just how I get rid of my stress.

And I'm like, if I had someone that I'm living with who is coming home and baking shit like every night, I'm kind of letting them choose things. I'm good like, yes, she gets the kitchen. Yeah, they get to choose that kitchen. So they have friends over and she's like, friends, it's time for the good financial manager and the mediocre financial manager to move to the berms. What do you think of that?

And one of the friends goes, why would you do that? The other one goes, I don't like that. Yeah, because it's time, okay? And she's like, we gotta find our forever home. I mean, I don't want to just be moving around with kids. Yeah, she's like, you know, we're gonna have kids in the next five years, depending on Mr. Lazy, Mr. Lazy Man over here trying to get it done in bed.

You know, it's what depends. But, you know, you don't want to move with those kids. The Michael wants to stay in Minneapolis and he wants to get like a big condo, that, or either a big condo or a small fixer upper. Yeah. And he's like, you know, if we get something within our wide eyes, if we get something within our price range, you know, we could do projects on it. We could build up equity. She's like, oh gosh, oh, look we get something within our price range, you know, we could do projects on it. We could build up equity. She's like, Oh gosh, oh, look at project manager over here.

Guess one thing Michael can't do. Walk down the hallway with that getting bloody. Also, here's another thing you can't do. Okay. Project manage. And guess what? That's going to follow on me because I want turnkey and I don't want to do anything to the house.

So let me just reiterate to everyone what my average day is like. So I wake up and I sit on the bed and I look at my watch and I look at all the time that is being a bled out of mecan time in the bathroom. And then when I finally get in there, I can wash a pinky because I don't have a lot of mecan time left because of Michael. And then I come out of the shower and he's bleeding on the shoulder because he walked into the wall again. So I have to tape up his arm.

And then I work for 12 hours because I have a high paying job and I come back and then I bake five cakes and the appreciation I get is no making time the next morning. So I just don't have time to project manage anything. He's like, but we can add stuff. She's, I don't have time. Not with a newborn. He's like, you don't have a newborn. He's like, you don't have a new boring. But. So then there's, because his whole thing is like, he's like, why would I spend money for something else?

Why would I spend money for someone else to have already done it? When I could have done it for cheaper. I'm like, or you can say, ooh, or I can save my time and spend a little bit extra money and have someone do it for me. So it's perspective. So then there's also this, like there's like a lesbian couple there too. I mean, I would people,

higher financial manager, I think it just needs that themselves, you know? Yeah, so then there's Caitlin and Christina are over there and so Mike is like really trying to appeal to them, like trying to like get people on his side. And he's like, he's like, I mean, you guys did a fixer rougher. I mean, you guys added some renovations

and it wasn't so bad. And then one girl goes, yeah, I mean, we added a bathroom ander-upper. I mean, you guys added some renovations and it wasn't so bad. And then one girl goes, yeah, I mean, we added a bathroom and a bedroom. And then the other one goes, it took forever. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha friend goes, you can find something in the city with a kitchen. Kitsons are pretty standard. Yeah. And then the other one, one girl, and then I just cost a one girl just like drinking a Moscow mural, really, like just sort of like hiding her face behind it, like, this is

getting too awkward. I thought this was going to be a fun thing to do to appear on house hunters. I'm just going to drink my Moscow mural and then get out of here as soon as possible. Yeah. So then the first place they're gonna go see is the condo near their place. And Michael loves it. He's like, look at this, we could just whack to work. Isn't that amazing?

We could whack there. He's like, this is not a forever location. Who knows how long they're even gonna have downtowns? Downtowns are over. Yeah, also, I mean, so we went to Minneapolis very briefly. And I definitely noticed that like in downtown Minneapolis, there's a lot of these like skyways and stuff like that that you can walk through in the winter. But I feel like a 15 to 20 minute walk in the winter Minneapolis is like not really what

I would be looking for out of my 15 to minute walk. I feel like maybe I would do that in like warm, non-snowy weather. I'm not sure. But so then we meet their realtor. Hey, it's Deb Marty. Deb Maher name. The mom is her. Yeah, that's her mom. She's like, well, Megan's my daughter. And I'm your real estate agent. And um, it does have some, how do you say dot, dot, dot, my batters of challenges challenges she's a bitch

like that's basically what she says the whole time it's so funny she's like well you know my daughter she's a bitch but she says it in different ways so she's thinking I'm a real estate agent so I saw this condol and it's something she has no interest in but you know It's 425 and they could afford it. So Megan, I want you to keep an open mind You know like the time I suggested that maybe you should apply to colleges in Illinois instead of trying to Harvard Which is a little bit out of you league and I said keep an open mind. There are other schools outside of Harvard And then you threw a shoe at my face. Hey, I got bloody. Remember that? Let's not do that today. All right. Yeah. So they go look at it. And it's a 1300 square feet, like downtowny kind of. Let's not a lot, but it's got that look to it. Yeah, it's like, yeah, like sort of like a condo.

So then they walk in and there are, it's just like big purple walls and make it like, well, that's dark, that's dark. And Michael, it's just paint. And she's like, it's like, is that a bedroom? It's purple. I told you I don't want a paint. I hate paint. Oh gosh, in the laundry rooms,

yellow, that's more painting. So much painting. I hate everything. And and Deb is really trying to put a spin on everything because when they're walking, there's like this room. And she's like, is that supposed to be a bedroom and Deb says, yeah, yeah, that's a bedroom. They just, they just don't have a door on it.

That's all. It's like, oh, there's just no door on the bedroom. Yeah, it's one of those bonus rooms. Yeah. So, don't be so dramatic about Pete Megan. And Mike's like, Megan knows what she wants. And if it's not what she wants right away, you're gonna be. Yeah.

I was like, well, that's not true, because she married you. And she looks at you as a fixer upper. So there's got to be something about her that just likes fixing things that she doesn't find perfect and just bitching about them, which I get because that's my hobby is complaining about shit. So, you know, I like getting chipped things or shopping at Goodwill, so I could be like, oh, that'll thing.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So they look around, the second bathroom is, like, it's like a big second bathroom and Megan likes how big the bathroom is. And then they walk into the kitchen. They look at the kitchen and the kitchen is like pretty fun. It's just, it's got kind of like ugly countertops and the cabinets are all kind of like pine. Like they're like plastic IKEA countertop type.

Yeah, and they've really like stick out against the purple. And then there's also this like really ugly chandelier that's just like, or lighting fixture that's hanging over where the, I guess with a dining table would be, it's like this rot iron, like Victorian looking candelabra thing. Yeah, it's pretty, way like 90s. Yeah. And the mom says,

well, it's cheap. And she's like, I don't have time to do renovations mom. I mean, we don't have time to paint. I hate painting. It's an investment, honey. Plus the H.O.A. allows rentals or H.O.A. now. How much is that? Oh, God. How much is that mom? Yeah, H.O.A. is just under $500. And it includes a great parody room. And we see this shot of this antiseptic rust carpeted room. It looks like a community center. Or like, it's just like the party room. Yeah, the party room in the apartment.

Does anybody actually throw parties in there? I've never been to one. I would feel weird. Like, hey, guys, come over to my house. We're partying in the apartment party room. Party rooms and community spaces are places where that one really your person in the community or in the building tries to make like non-ros place happen.

Like, hey guys, I'm setting up cupcakes. I thought we could just sort of have like a little mixer. So it's gonna be Saturday at 4 p.m., convenient time for everyone. And just like come and like hang out. And then like you actually get sucked into going because you're like, well, there will be cupcakes. And it's just like you and maybe one of the person

and then you're stuck in an awkward conversation for 45 minutes. And then you're like, I'm never going to one of those again, but then every time you see those people in the elevator, you have to smile and make a small talk. And you're like, I'm never going to one of those again, but then every time you see those people in the elevator, you have to smile and make a small talk and you're like, fuck, I'm just like, now I can have a little bit of it. Now I can have it. Right, like those people are always in the party room.

Like, oh, it's a community room. I'm gonna go have coffee down at the community room, just in case someone else is trying to use it. Yeah, and it's always like sort of like a lame event that seems like fun to them. It's almost like, it's a weird throwback to childhood. Like, hey, we thought tonight would be fun to have ping pong tournament in the community room. So we're going to be doing ping pong and it's going to be great.

We'll play Madonna and it's going to be so fun. And you're like, I want to go drinking. You know, so the mom's like, she can be very opinionated. And by that, I mean, she's a real bee, okay? And I need her to listen on this. And Megan's like, I think she wants to push me a certain way. And you know what?

She might not do that with her other clients. Yeah, because Deb is like, you know, the HOA takes care of the heat, has work at room, AC, all the outer maintenance. I mean, all that maintenance and keeping up with your house, you know, if you have a single family house, do you have time for that, Megan? I mean all that maintenance and keeping up with your house. You know, if you have a single family house, do you have time for that Megan? I mean, you gotta start rethinking this.

I mean, Miss hashtag Megan Time. I don't think so. And they look at the yard and it's not a yard. It's just a balcony. And she's at the point of a yard. It's for the dogs mom. And so then they go to look at the bedroom and she actually likes the bedroom, which is not, which is a change,

because Megan's nice about something. And the closet is even big enough that the husband could possibly use a little bit of it. And she's like, yeah, I would give you one little sliver of it. Right, Michael, right. And he just ignores her. And she's like, right, Michael, right, Michael, a sliver, right, Michael, please go away. I also noticed when they went on the balcony that they're actually only on the second floor, which I think is notable because I think if you're building like that, I think you want to have some height. Also when they watch the Master bedroom, she goes, oh, this window is nice. This is this is something I'd expect to see in a single family home

And it's got a door unlike that other bedroom. I'm like Do most apartments in me on Minneapolis not have windows She's really into into openings in place. Yes So you think yeah, you know, this is a fixer upper kind of, but we're still young. We can build equity. She's like, uh, gross. Yeah. Um, yeah.

So she's pleasantly surprised the master because it also has this big bathroom that looks kind of like an extended stay hotel and, um, Deb is like, well, I think this is a great investment, Megan. Um, what do you think, Megan. What do you think, Michael? What do you think, wink, wink, Michael? Team, team, Michael and Deb, team, Deb, Deb, Debacle, huh? Huh? He's like, I agree, and she gets all mad.

And she's like, yeah, you know what, Michael and my mom are all about the money. They think we should be seconds of five-year plan, but I'm one of them moved to the burbs since forever home, forever home forever home forever. Yeah, and he's like, well, she is really set on a single family home. And it's going to take a lot to get her off that idea. So we're going to start with Pat.

Bat's a gateway will be an opium by the time we're done. But dammit, I'm going to get my way. So they go driving on a nice long drive and she's she's like well, I mean look look at it. There's trees out here I guess I love it. I'm just ready for change and here's there's trees unlike there where there's no trees But here's book there's grass. Don't you love it? Yeah, the narrator goes today Megan's getting her way she and Michael are driving to the distant suburbs Far far distant away from humanity to see the large single family home. She wants and no one else does Yeah, I'm her attitude is so different when it's something she wants

She's like can't you see yourself living out here? It's beautiful Michael. Beautiful. It's my perfect It's just why Michael. Beautiful. It's my perfect. It's just what I want. Gorgeous, happy marriage. Wow. You're way nicer when you're getting your way. I can see why he just gives you your way all the time. Yeah. So the price tag on this house is like $589,000, which is way above the top end of her budget.

And remember, his budget's $400,000. So Mike is all mad about that. He's like, Megan has no concept of what price is. She sees it in her mind and she just wants it. She doesn't care what the final number is. She's like, oh, he's bleeding again. Who cares? It doesn't matter how many times he bleeds. Just pay for it at the hospital. I mean, those hospital bills, they add up over and over again. He's like, well, Naysiar, I didn't mean there's no fence. The bad guys are gonna get eaten out here. But she loves it. She's like, wow, hi, ceilings.

Wow. Yeah, so it's actually really nice on the outside and it's like split level and it has this really, really nice kitchen, but there was something about the place that felt a little cold to me. Like, it had, it's like, it had a really tall ceilings in the living area and like the split level was in, under those tall ceilings. And there was something that I felt from the outside that the inside should have been

cozy. It can still be open concept and cozy, but it felt, I didn't like it actually. Well, it's a bizarre, it's a bizarre design for such a huge house. I mean, it's a big house and it's a split level right when you walk in, which is odd. So it's like, well, I guess I'm going to get a case here. It's, you know, which we make it go up to a kitchen or down to a living room.

I just don't know. But Megan loves it because it has a kitchen she likes with the subway tiles and the graphics and the White countertops and all that so she loves it. Yeah, and it's a beautiful kitchen the kitchen is great in it Yeah, she's like the kitchen. That's how I went wine. I love to bake. I don't care what time in the God get this woman a fucking cookie geez. I know and then she could make me one so Mike is like He's like yeah, but you know we can build you a dream kitchen anywhere, you know And she's like but with this design you think that you can do a stupid face when you can't even stay 10 minutes in the bathroom

I don't think so Well, maybe I would hire someone to do it if it was an area I like but this is so far out And the mom's like Megan is about Megan Megan. And by that, I mean, Megan's a boo. Okay, but, you know, I'm just sick of seeing bitch over and over, so I'll say different be words. Anyway, she's a be word. She makes up her mind and that's it. She's done.

Yeah, you know, she's pretty much driven and wedged through our family, but that's just what Megan does, you know? That's just what she does. So the dining area isn't very large. So they're like, oh, we can't really fit a large dining room table in here. And then Michael's like, well, no one's

going to come out here to visit you anyway, out here, so. Yeah, this is the time when you're like, oh, yeah, he's an asshole to you. He's just quiet. So she gets all the blame for it because she's loud. And he gets away with it because he's quiet. But they're pretty. That's what the quiet guys always do.

They act quiet. So then yeah, the woman always gets the blame when actually the quiet guy's usually just a huge asshole. Yeah, she's aggressive, but he's like super passive aggressive. Like, I'm out of here. But they're like, but they're like, they definitely have issues because they're looking at, they go into the full bath, which is like this big full bath.

And she's like, you know what? I think it's maybe gonna save our marriage. It's just like basically saying, if we don't take this bathroom, we're probably gonna get a divorce, okay? And we get forever husband and my forever home. And it's not really an over the top closet. It's not, it's a very small closet.

He's like, that's not a wagon. That's a stumbling. I re-bring in those poor speaking, I re-bring in those porcupine things to this hallway. Please, last man. Please, that. Please don't put the mish.

Like, yeah, I am. I'm going to put them in here. So you don't get into my stupid closet. And he goes, the mom's like, well, the master has nine brushes. So that's something. Like, did you notice that? And I'm not in the master bedroom. There's a brush holder with nine different brushes. So that's something. Like, did you notice that? And I'm not in the master bedroom.

There's a brush holder with nine different brushes. And that's all that's in the house. Like did someone lose all of their hair before they moved out of this house? What's happening here? And then Mike has a real, he gets him, he has a little chantroom about the closet. He's like, she has a lot of clothes. And if we're gonna spend almost $600,000 for a house like this, I at least expect a closet. I can fit my stuff in. I'm like, well, Mike, then just build it. You're building everything else, build a freaking closet,

buy a wardrobe, buy a layout, relax. How many closet, how much clothes do you have? You have a floor and some khakis. Yeah, and there's a put, well, you have to have a lot of different versions. It's like when the Simpsons walk into their closet and it's like hundreds of the same exact thing. So downstairs in the basement, there's a pool table.

She's like, look, a pool table. If you're a friend, you're like pool. You like pool. We're getting this house. And he's like, there could be a sinkhole in the basement. She still thinks it's nice. Yeah. I like that she's like trying to sell him on the house because there's a pool table.

He's like, I don't even play pool. Okay And no one would drive out here for pool. I mean, which is true. I mean if you're driving all the way out to the suburbs just to play pool. I mean Yeah, so she's like so what's the value of this house mom? Like what could we actually get it for it? She's like well probably the five fifties or something and she's pulled us well, that's just after him five dollars then. She's like, Megan, can I have that slow ball? All right. It's off from $17. Megan, come on, Megan. It's happy in the back of the rack.

Megan, how many times we have to have this conversation? The world is not revolve around you and you can't go to that party tonight at Debbie Joe's house. Okay. So Mike is like, he's like, listen, I'm not driving all the way out here unless I know it's the best deal that we can find, okay? Like I just want to stare at her home, okay? And figuring out down the road where we want to be permanently is what I want to do. And she's like, but I don't want to fix her up, okay? I want to do it. I want to do it. Now listen, Okay, I went to your and key, I went to your and key. Now listen, I have to say, I think Mike is kind of right.

I mean, they look like they're early to mid 30s, talking about forever homes and like, come on. First of all, there's really no such thing as a forever home, okay, like forever homes can change. So just get a starter home and enjoy it. Yeah, and just moving way way way the hell out there. And she's like, yeah, I don't want that. He's like, well, I'm not driving all that way.

And the mom's like, Megan, quick thinking about the kitchen. And start thinking about reality. Okay, but why are you going to drive downtown in any kind of weather? And she's like, you're getting up on me. You look at you. You're a little passie ganging up on me. This house is perfect. I'm so frustrated.

Yeah. Yeah. She's like, OK, Mike, don't worry. This is what she does when she doesn't get her way. It's like in seventh grade when I wouldn't buy her a new in sync CD. Wow. Three weeks, three weeks of this. Just imagine.

Just imagine, OK? So this. Just imagine, just imagine, okay? So enjoy your forever home, okay? So house number three, this time mom's driving them. And she's like, well, this one's a single family and it's close to downtown. Michael's like, yeah, it's a lot closer to work. Think, you're a horse of fat. She's like, well, the house is built in 1936.

So it's nice and new and it's $375,000. So you can do some improvements. Megan doesn't that sound fun. It's like, oh, I want turnkey. Oh. OK, OK, baby, once turnkey, OK. So Megan goes, well, I don't know. But it sounds like it's right up your alley, Michael.

So I bet you a turkey sandwich because it's just one letter shorter turnkey. So I'm gonna kind of give you what you want. You man, Megan, you man. So Michael is again talking about how he wants to start her home, maybe a flip. And she's like, did he's nothing that I want? I don't wanna make money off it.

I wanna have a forever home that maybe doesn't have closet space for Michaels. That way he's forced to walk narrow hallways and poke himself with porcupines. I want to purchase it and I want it to be perfect as it is. And this one's actually really pretty. It's like a pretty classic house.

It's got pretty wood floors and nice fireplace. And she's like, wow, this is actually decent. I have to say, I mean, it has to, look, it's an original fair place, that's cool. Yeah, that's a whole new way for Michael to hurt himself. So then Megan, she's like, yeah, it's got some charm. Let's just look into the kitchen and,

I am actually speechless. I don't even know what to say. Everything has to go. I mean, where would we eat for two months? What would we do for two months? We just have to go. And basically, the kitchen is just like really outdated. But it's like, also it's one of these episodes where I thought to myself, people are so ridiculous, like, you can't even use it. Of course, you can use it. It's

fine. It's just ugly. We want it for two months. Yes, the oven will filter it on in there. Okay. It still works People live there for many years. It's super mad So they go into the basement and it's an unfinished basement. What is this haunted? It's certainly unfinished that's for sure and the mom's cracking up The mom loves torturing her. She's like, oh, this could be a family room. And look, look, there's her second bathroom. And there's just like a toilet over in the corner. It's like a toilet. That is like a saw toilet. That's like just a random toilet. She's like, it's your second bathroom. And she just starts laughing and making it's like, we need two bathrooms. Okay,

she knew that. And yet she decided to show us this house anyway. This is classic man right here, classic man. Send me up for poop failure. So they do have a decent backyard and it's fenced in, which she likes. And then the dining room, they love the wide staircase. That's a big room. And she's like, Oh, so the restroom for the whole house is upstairs. That's the restroom. It's upstairs. So people have house is upstairs. That's the restroom. It's upstairs. So people have to go upstairs.

My cab, but isn't that better than you having to go downstairs every night in the middle of the night when you got a pee? Yeah. And my, my, Michael just goes, well, we could try to put a bathroom downstairs to, and she just tilts her head like, Michael, you know what this, this looks like, you know, when I put my ear to my shoulder, that means you either get out of my face or you're getting the porcupine, okay? Yeah, and he, the one who's all pissed off about closets, it's like this tiny master closet, like a tiny apartment master closet, and he opens it and he goes, well, for a home-to-seach,

that's a good, size closet. I know. I have to say, the closet in the suburban house was smaller than the condo closet, but it wasn't like tiny. Like there was still plenty of space in there. Yeah, but he's like using it to fight against her in one minute and then the next minute, he's like, wow, that's great. So he's like, well, the bedroom's pretty big. I mean, yeah, we can build out another one, like you said. And she's like, oh, what are you going to do? Be the project manager. You can't even project manager the proper shirt for your pants. Okay.

He's like, well, hire one. Yeah, she just wants to move into a bag. Is he? That's how she sees the magazine. No, I'm the one being realistic, because I'm concerned. Project surprises out of this neighborhood. It's like, well, we're so close to work, so close to our friends, we can move in today and not sign another lease, but we don't have to renew our lease and our apartment.

And she goes, that is ridiculous. That's just ridiculous. Let's put in an offer right now. She's like, no, I'm saying, yeah, this is real nice. I mean, lots of features work. Well, I say we should put an offering. You don't need a palace on day one. She's like, oh, look at you. The little Passy over there working together again. Yeah. You know, I'm the one purchasing a house with Micah. It's not my mom and purchasing a house with Micah. Okay. So we're like, we cannot, well, listen, listen, we both have to agree on the house and if we don't agree we cannot put it ever on it Passy

So they decide this scene is kind of weird how they set this up to is the deciding scene and she's up on the community rooftop You know like with the fire with the dog and she facetimes Mike she's like hi Mike. We're on the roof time is Mike. So like, hi, Mike, we're on the roof. He's like, okay, he can be like, he bring up the other dog, whatever his name is and don't hit yourself in the porcupine again. Okay. See you the second. So he comes up bring a hat dish and they talk it over. And of course, he says the condo would be a great starter and a great investment. It's only a couple blocks from where they are and say, projects, projects, projects, I don't want to do projects. There's no yard. I don't want to start there.

I like the house and the stuff. There's nothing negative about that one. Yeah, he's like, but it's so far away from downtown. OK, I also like the tutor style house, because it's pretty, and we can make the kitchen anything we want. We can add another bathroom. And I think it's haunted, but haunted with the nice ghost.

So I think it's like a really good option for us. Projects, and the kitchen isn't even usable. We're gonna starve to death. We're literally died. You know how, know why it's haunted? Because people move there and they die. Because they can't eat. When you move in there, there's no access to food

for the rest of your life. I cannot have that project. The goals couldn't even bother us while we were there because they were too hungry. Yeah, goals need to eat too. Okay, and as far as I could tell, there was no ghost oven, no ghost refrigerator, no ghost counter space. It's just not good for us or the ghosts.

So number one, the downtown condo. Number two, the big place in the suburbs, we're number three, the historic modern. And they got... At first, I was like, where are they? I thought of course she won. I thought of course she got that big, stupid house out in the middle of, I was so mad when I saw it, because all you see are white subway tiles in a kitchen. And I was like, oh no.

Same, but then I was like, but this doesn't look, something's wrong. I don't see the gray countertops. What's going on? And it turns out they went for the condo. And guess what? They painted it, which which by the way they probably could have negotiated for the sellers to paint that right like that That's probably not even an issue, right? So they painted it and they actually did a really nice job

They made it look really cute. I was actually really proud of them and I wanted to see more about their journey I know it looked cute the kitchen looked cute. They read it all the cabinet so she can have her like kitchen and she got her subway tiles and nice countertiles. They did a like new chandelier type fixtures in there. It looked really cute. I was like wow. She settled and it turned out to be what she wanted. Look at that. Horrible couples can make things work, guys.

Exactly, and then. Hey, it's Deb and guess what? Special guest star. She wanted. Look at that. Horrible couples can make things work, guys. Exactly. And then here it's Deb and guess what? Special guest are Pat Michaels mom because guess what? Of course, Michael has a Mamning Pat. Hey, come on in, Deb and Pat. Hey, come on in, jealous one who wasn't in this TV show until I invited her at the last minute because I was sick of getting passive aggressive voice meals. Come on in here.

So Megan realized that a forever home wasn't realistic, because you have to have a forever marriage if you want a forever home. So you know, and Megan goes, well, wouldn't have led to a happy marriage. So that was my camera, my, all my dreams. And she's like, yeah, and project management was on my call. And he did it and goes, yeah, and project management was on my calling. He did it and goes,

yeah, here's how I project managed. I said, yes, dear. And his mom's like, was she under budget and goes, she was, believe it or not, it all worked out pretty well. So maybe in the future, I can make more decisions. And they're like, I wouldn't bet on that. And Pat goes, so when are the babies coming? Like like this is why you're not on a show pat Okay, we can't have that pressure on how to have everything else Pat And that brings us to the end of house of humtiles House of humtiles Well, that was a delight. Oh, it's fun. I actually want to go back to Minneapolis to be honest, which I I really enjoyed it over there

Well, thank you everyone. Mini. Mini. Miniapolis. All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here. We sure love y'all. We'll talk to you next time. Yeah, have a great day.

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