Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #209: South African Stardom

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

A soap opera actress returns to South Africa with a very American husband on her arm to start her career back up. Will her husband's obsession with home brewing bubble over? For those of you that like to watch along, this is House Hunters International s107 E08 and we found it on Discovery Plus. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. No! Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, no! Well, hello! Well, hello, and welcome to Dwell, hello! The Watcher at Crappens House Hunters episode, I'm, or podcast. I'm Ronnie. That's been over there. Happy and

Hey Ronnie. What's up? Not much. How's everybody doing out there? How was your holidays? How's your new year going in? Going well, just trying to stay warm even in LA gets cold and trying to stay safe. That's that's the most important thing when everyone to be safe. And I never feel safer than when I talk about house hunters. Yeah, so here we are with house hunters. We are trying to end the season. We've got two more episodes left, including this one. So we're trying to end with a couple of internationals because we've been severely lacking in our international representation here. And that's my favorite one.

That's the one that I watch normally. I watched that one over the normal house centers. What's your favorite? What's your favorite? I don't know if I have a favorite. I like them both. I wind up getting drawn into both of them. I mean, the International One has the added aspect of getting to see these

far-flung locales and seeing what it's like to live and what the apartments are like in these other places, these houses, and it's always so remarkable to see how different things are in terms of like size and space and amenities. So that's really fun, but actually sometimes it it makes me uneasy because it's always like, okay, we found this house for you and it's like a hallway with like a light bulb in it and that's it. And you're like, oh, sometimes I wanna go back to seeing

just like blatant American excess in like Indiana or something. Wow, you sound like the husband in this episode. I do. Who means he's American? I just want to double garage. I just for do needs his American stick. I just want to double garage. I mean, is that so much so everybody? This is House Center's International volume four,

season 107, episode eight. Okay, how's that for a mouthful? We found this on Discovery Plus. And the title of the episode is South African Stardom. And the way we're finding these is we're just putting the title in. South African Stardom put it in there and then look under episodes and boom, you can find it, okay? Yeah. And this one starts off with the narrator Linda saying,

Quinn is returning to her roots. After 10 years in the Golden State, she's returning to the city of gold. And I am coming back to be the same character. Oh, sorry, that was how I was like, what is Linda saying? Linda's going off script. No, that was, that was. She's coming back to play the same character. And I'm coming back to steal her fucking role.

Good luck, bitch. I got a second call back for her role, but I guess they wanted the original, whatever that means. Yeah, so Quinn is coming back to say at the Africa to store in a television show that she stand in Biffle. So that means you guys get to listen to this terrible, rovinly, jaxing for the rest of the episode. Congratulations, you all win. Yeah, yeah, Quinn is like a soap star in South Africa. And then she says a lot of things like this is they walk through the town in the like coming up in two minutes. Part of this episode. She says look, we're crossing the road.

That's how we do it in South Africa. Look at that. That's a true. You want to climb me? That's how we do it in South Africa. Oh my god. She's very much one of those people. Yeah, she sort of has like a light Sigourney Weaver essence to her, but obviously nowhere near the same, you know, grand juror.

Stan, yeah, this is aliens, is a. But however, next to her husband, she seems like five Sigourney Weavers because this guy is like an American dunce and he's just like the most American do-fiss you can ever imagine. He is. He looks like Elaine's boss on signed felts. I don't know if he if that's too weird. You actually pointed out that he

has yeah the big guy. He's kind of like Mr. Big looking from you know no offense from sex in the city but kind of with a goofier face. And as you pointed out to me, is we were watching this, he has Austin Crowl lips. From, he has like Austin Crowl movement in his mouth. He does, he has like big Austin Crowl energy and like a mouth that's too wide for his face. So, which is not his fault, but it just sort of really sets the tone

of like what you can expect with this kind of guy. It's not a flaw. It's a feature. And the feature gives insight to the personality, which is a flaw. Now, Quinn comes out off as a very good person in this. Like she comes off as a sweet lady, just going to live her dreams. But this had me worried because this big duft is like, oh, I'm a Quinn in South Africa and two years later, we were married.

Now Quinn did it right, the right, like old school, like you date the guy two years. And that's I think kind of what your what moms teach you to do, right? You wait to you. How would you still marry this fucking idiot after knowing him for two years? I mean, I could understand if you, I don't know, you got pregnant the first night you met or something and you just, you married him and then you found out what a doof he was. But to know this man for two years and then still marry him, bad life choices.

And you are a celebrity. Like, and this is the guy you're gonna do, you're gonna choose, you're gonna to marry Arlis for crying out loud. Like why? This is totally unnecessary for her. Like she needs to really, like I wanna know why she doesn't think she can do better.

Yeah, also their daughter wears a princess tiara, the entire episode, okay? Those are some other bad life choices. And the proud and your daughter needs is a broom. Where are you sign? I wanna see a child with a index and some paper towels. That's what I wanna see. And you know, this guy also, we see in this intro I want to see a child with index and some paper towels. That's what I want to see.

And you know, this guy also, we see in this intro where they sort of show snippets of the show, he goes, well, Quinn's not going to be the only one working. I'm going to be home with the girls. And if we're moving halfway around the world, I want it all. So he's the sort of guy who, when she says, I have this very special, unique opportunity to play this role again on TV. I think we should go for it and I get to be by my family. He's like, sure, I agree to that. But now I'm going to lured this over you for the rest of our lives because everything

is conditional. Well, I gave everything up. I was promoted at the Ford dealership. I was promoted. And I'm giving it all up for you. Like he just keeps doing that for a while. So I'm like, I'm not hot enough to pull that. Yeah, he's, he's not, and it's also just shitty

because she moved across the world for him, you know? Yes. But I think in his mind, it's like, well, America, but you got to come to America, but I'm going to shitty South Africa. That's his attitude the whole time, you know? He's like, oh, this is gross. And she keeps saying things like, will you've got to get used to the safety for constructive

living. Like it's something less than now. I don't know. I've never been to South Africa. But he's a shithead for making me feel that way. Okay. And I'm not even in this relationship. And I'm very, where's that for? And you know that he pulled one on her, by the way. You know how he got her to San Diego? He probably said to her, oh yeah, you know, I mean, you're here in Johannesburg on a soap opera, but you know, we're really, you know, Hollywood is where it's at. And that's just up the road from San Diego.

You probably made it sound like San Diego and Hollywood, like you just do it part of LA. You know, that is three hours without traffic, maybe two and a half without traffic. But you know he sold her the California thing like she'll be able to act. He said, LaHoya playhouse, they got to be and all that. And she thought this was going to be a career move. And then she realized very quickly it was like going to the zoo and that was it. So she tells us always considered a bit of celebrity in South Africa because I was on a show called Sedena Long, which translates to Seventh Avenue.

You know, I was part of the first cast. It was so incredible. But after five years on the show, I wanted to get away. So I moved to San it up to become a full-time mother. So, uh, she said, I would walk of shells. What I saw. Not one audition. All right. What did I sacrifice when I moved to America with Ryan? Well, at the time, it didn't feel like a sacrifice, mainly because I was told that I would have access to all of your auditions and the meetings and general meetings with the studios, which both three hours away, which was really not helpful at all, but it was absolutely my choice to go on this adventure with the man I loved, or I believe that I loved, and also having that freedom to discover myself as an unemployed actress who thought she was going to be employed, and as a mother, that was a gift. It was really a good thing to channel that sort of frustration into future characters.

Yeah, she's like here on the celebrity there, people kept coming up in the grocery store and saying, why is your husband Austin from Southern charm who ain't Mr. Big? Why? Why? And then we see the dad and he's like, hey, you like that ice cream kid? Is it better than American? Or is American ice cream better? I was like, oh my God, do they need this resentment from you? No. So yeah, so they're basically like, they're at someone's house there in South Africa.

And there's a lady who says, Siu, Ryan, how do you feel about this? And he goes, well, I'd be lying if I said I had no doubts because I just got promoted at work. Where do I work? Who knows, but I got promoted there. And it was a good opportunity, the goodest opportunity of all, but it's exciting because Quinn's excited. And that's infectious, which is, by the way, a phrase I did use on our first date. I had to warn her. The only ethical thing to say. Yeah. I said, you know, there's some infectious things in my

herpes, COVID, sickle cell, anemia. I don't really know if that's infectious, but also, San Diego. All right, so let's move, pack your bags. You know, it was real hard for me because I was just accepted into the Uber X division of Uber, which I mean, that would have been huge. But I did just get an email saying that I was in the top five percent of Uber drivers,

but that's fine. I mean, I'm sure I could drive it here in South Africa. No problem. She's like, well, Ryan and I are used to not agreeing, you know, that's life. But this is probably one of the things in life, you know, moving to Africa with two children. Oh, but gosh, that's, you know, he's a good person. Look at him. Follow a man coming to do something a woman wants to do. Surely there's nothing in it for him. So then we meet these wonderful realtors. It's this mother daughter team Bianca de Villiers or Villiers and Vera Hall and The best part so Bianca is the mother Vera is the daughter and basically Bianca's like, okay my lady daughter You get to do one you have to say one thing on this and then it's a money's term Don't fucking they said but I trust you so the daughter's like

Is it a bit picky city and say difficult is back is a bit a bit city inside difficult and it's a constitution city of gold for our mining history and it's not with the economic above so they're different out of your own you never hear you never speak again, Twatt

never again that's not how you sound the city of gold you don't take the city of gold. You don't take the city of God in the little plot. You say the city of God. Maybe it's Sandluck, the city of Mowl there. Get out of here. You're not talking never, never sentence. All right, here's your granola bar. Stand over there. Mummy's got this now. So, Prince Lake, the most important thing for Ryan is finding his space and giving him that sense of Americanism. Basically, he wants to live in a giant happy meal box and has sports blaring all day and like, well, he's chicken wings with his toes.

There is there any way that we can actually attach a straw that goes directly from his mouth to the nearest fast food establishment across the hemisphere? Do you know of a vending machine with range dressing in it? I'm telling you he's gonna need it. Does this house come with a phone finger of some sort? I'm right after she says that he needs his American comfort. It cuts to him and I told me Bahamas shirt. Like it's better. American potato chips or South African potato chips? Don't fuck this one up, kid, or your T.I. was mine.

I just also love the hotiness of Quinzane that he needs a sense of Americanism. I get such a loaded term. Like, you know that, like, Quin and Bianca and Vera all just looked at each other and nodded like this one, am I right? So Bianca and Vera all just looked at each other and nodded like this one, am I right? So Bianca, Bianca gets so Ryan and Bianca hates Ryan, by the way. Bianca is so juggity to him and so cold and passive-aggressive, but like it's perfect because she says all the things that we feel, so she goes, so Ryan, what type of lifestyle are you looking for lazy, stupid, or bland?

He's like, I believe in the three bees. Boobs, balls, burgers. All right. Find me those things and we'll have, we'll be great tuts, right? It's like slapping around the butt. So he goes, I'm used to, I'm used to a little bit of space. Okay. Like we love a, we love a three bedroom space with two baths because I live with three girls, huh?

Yeah, I just call my wife a girl. Yeah, outdoor space is really important to us because I grew my own beer. It's like, oh geez, of course you do. One of the most annoying quality, one of the most annoying things that has ever popped up. It's like garage breweries. Yes, I agree.

Because you have to taste them every time you go over. It's like, hey, let's do it in my place. All right, let's taste them a beer. It was fermented with lots of hops and yeast and it was brought to temperature of 30 and I left a sock in it. Well, that's just going to add some character. That's what it's like. One of my best friends does this.

So, I know she doesn't support us. So, whatever lady, you're not gonna hear this. But she's big on this. She's like, yeah, I'm rude. So, guys, here's my big dirty ice chest thing. That's what ice chest is. Yeah, it's been sitting in my garage for a couple of weeks. It's just molding in a garage that I had some liquid too.

Let's drink it. My test, fuck no, I'm not gonna drink that. We're never doing anything at your house again. It just always tastes shitty. It's just like, it's like a science experiment and it's probably cool for them to get something that is close to a beer. But it's like if I said Ronnie, I just made some cheese.

It's like, okay, fine, but rather just go get the real thing. The only time I've ever liked, like home brewing was when Padma Lockchemy went to Milwaukee on Tastin Nation and she was flirting with a guy who's a home brewer and she's like, oh, beer. What's that? Who did we steal beer from in this country? So is this your bathwater or something that you pass off as a beverage? Love Milwaukee. Yeah, pretty much, but yeah, I'm with you that this cemented it for me with Ryan

So Ryan's like, yeah, so I need a big place because I'm American and you know girls am I right? So three beds two baths and he tells us Quinn's passion is acting and she's going to be able to work her passion. So let's make it so we can both work in our no no no no no no no you're not going to make this equal like oh my god you're doing what you love to do so I can't do. She's making the money sir sir. And you are not. Okay. Yeah, you're a little, you know, you're a little cooler hooch is not going to be paying the bills. Okay, you're not going to break into the South African beer market with that. Okay, this is not

a passion. This is a hobby. So passion, you'd be working in the beer industry. Yeah. So, um, just not letting him have one, like not have one. No, I just, this guy was just such an ass. He was such an ass. So it's like, and you know, coming from San Diego, we're leaving near the coast. So it would be great if there was an ocean. They're like, oh, no. Bianca's like, okay, let me take this.

So you want to pull to replace the ocean, is that right? Cause you're too dumb to understand the difference? Well, I mean, it's dying anyway, am I right? Yeah, I can finally use straws again. Hey, come to my brewery, where we drink homemade brews with straws. Oh. And your self-quinn, what is important to you?

Obviously not an attractive man. Well, I'd like moving ready, because I'm a lot more of a stickler when it comes to price and so I'm looking at $800 or $800 a month and a lazy fuck who wants to ferment yeast in the backyard instead of making an effort so you know you do the math, ladies and Bianca Bianca is so mean. She goes and do you think that's an achievable because your budget does not match that you know that right? think that's an achievable because your budget does not match that. You know that, right? You know your budget does not match those dreams. I love her because that's so true. It's like $800 a month, seriously, a family of five or four rather. Family? $800. Now I don't know what prices are like in South Africa, but still a family of four, one support, one enough space for

eight to be able to do a home brewery, which is a complete extravagance. And then they're like, and it has to be three bedrooms, two baths, but only $800 a month. Are you kidding me? Yeah, not going to happen. Called a tent. Right. So House number one has a pool in Chewbath, and there's a view of the city.

So it's like this, it's a Chewb-bath one-private pool 800 a month okay So Quinn's like oh my god ride on the money that I'm making he never's made alright and It's this like boxy yellow house and there's like flowers outside and rounds like oh the girls Including my wife we're gonna love all these flowers cuz girls like flowers. Am I right everyone? Beyonce come on Beyonce laugh. I'm Rangos he has only two bedrooms in beyond cuz like, well you can't have your cake and eat it too. She's like, you haven't seen him with the cake. All right. I've

seen him have it, eat it and fuck it. All right. All the same tone. It's actually pretty amazing. Well, you know what? There is a pool, a private pool at that little shiny object for Orion over there. Yeah. And it's just a hideous little place. It's awful.

If this is just terrible, it's like got the lady who just died there, left her furniture in there, you know, they've got the tile on the floor, but it's like at a diagonal. Oh my god, I can't. It's horrific. It's so bad. And especially, like it might be maybe okay if it came on Furnarshan, they could like make it nice, but instead, like this is the furniture that they'd be living with.

And it's like an old sitcom. I don't know if they said that or if I thought that, but it's like an old sitcom. And I feel like I'm in an 80 sitcom, which is of course, you know, the American thing to say, which is also his personality, by the way He's like literally the second coming of element. Yeah, he's the gross neighbor who's just always coming over I know he's like it's like if nurses even had someone like Charlie He would be it like he doesn't even get to be on empty nest. This is what happened to Larry from threes company

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. It really is. So there's a galley kitchen, which is actually one of the more normal parts of this place. And he's like, I don't like the kitchen being tucked away. I mean, I do most of the kitchen work. And I'll be coming out to bring the food to you like it's a restaurant or something. It's like, it's a kids. If you cook the food, that's usually how it works.

God forbid you want to do something that even sounds like a job. I know. And, and Gwen's like, well, you can put on your podcast and have your private time, which would actually be lovely, because you wouldn't be talking. So you could do that. Oh, no, you know, he talks to the podcast. And you know, he doesn't listen with earphones when people are around either. Can you believe that? Can you believe this bullshit? He just said, you're wrong. You're wrong, sir.

I feel bad for everyone who flew on the flight with him from San Diego to Johannesburg, while he's got his headphones in, watching the frickin' dog movie. That dog is real funny. Are you gonna watch this movie? It's good. You should really watch it, sir.

Take your headphones out. Why are you yelling across this entire airplane? Oh my God, that makes me so furious with Apple, the company Apple, because you know they took away headphones and now everyone has to have a dongle to have fucking headphones. So people on planes are just like,

fuck it, I'm just gonna listen to it. I don't have my dongle. So they just play their YouTubes, where they're TikToks, whatever these kids would be when these days. Just without their headphones. Oh my God, that's what Ryan would be doing. days, just without their headphones. Oh my God, that's what Ryan would be doing. Ryan, who is the reason, by the way,

let's not forget, the reason why he doesn't like this kitchen is because he can't have all eyes on him. He wants to have, he wants to be performing in the kitchen. So he's also in a, on top of everything else, he's an attention whore. Dude, everything they say about Ryan makes him more hateable. I mean, yes. He likes cooking for a family, but he needs to debate with an audience. Oh my god What go away

What I mean And he tells us it's a show baby. Oh, you know, it's got a guy theory like every episode recorded It's a show babe sir. You're not the one on television right now or hired to be on television, is it? Right. What he thinks he could be, you know, you could tell how he's acting. It's a show, baby.

Yeah. How many things you can base on mayonnaise, you know? So tiny pools, a little pool. And he's like, well, wow, they must have really wanted a pool because there's no yard left. And the other concern Home brewery. Hello. This is not gonna work Quinn's like Well, yeah, it's like where is the home brewery? She goes well, I have no idea

I was sort of hoping that you had when you said it was a little bit of a joke. It wasn't a real a real requirement for a house so We do have a job market here. You want to stay in that right view today? I know where there's a good place for home brewery back in San Diego. You can go. So they go look at the bedroom for the girls and it's this there's a washer and dryer or there's a dryer in there or a washer in the bedroom. Is there a washer? I don't know. I don't know. Maybe there's a washer and a dryer or what? I don't remember, but there's definitely a dryer and the dryer is like perched up. It's like not even on the floor, right? Yeah. And Quinn, who is like the queen of, you know,

rose colored glasses, it's like, well, maybe it could be white noise for the children. You know, it's, I think there's brother is enough white noise. Okay. You know, it's not quite a laundry room, but it's close enough. That's close enough. That's the phrase you use for San Diego when you're talking about Hollywood. What's it? Close enough. Oh, it'll do. Oh, my God, honey. I just said the Vazar wrote. So then they go upstairs, the master or the primary bedroom. And it's, you know, horrific. And I just wrote down a red chair. There was some sort of terrible red chair.

It was like, really bad. This place, please, please don't move into this space. It's terrible. I want $800 a month from you to burn this shit down. This place was horrible. And Quinn's like, well, this has a large cozy, safe, African feel. And he's like, well, hopefully cozy South African feel doesn't mean tiny everywhere.

Am I right? Oh, it's only tiny if most of space is used up for home brewing. So yeah, there's like a the shower is short. He's like, I can't even stand in here. He does that thing. I hate when guys do that. They just become so defenseless. Guys, we're like, I can do anything. Everything. No problem for me. I hate when guys do that. They just become so defenseless guys. We're like I could do anything

Everything no problem for me. I'm I can take on the world. Oh, no The ceiling is a little low So space for Ryan to brew re may come with an even bigger sacrifice The girl in the tiara is coming up right after this Sacrificing their child for another bathroom. For free. So, so now we just see Quinn and Ryan walking in the street and a lady walk like runs up to Quinn and is like, oh my god, oh my god, are you on 7-7-de-lan? Are you on 7-de-lan?

Oh my god, can I take a photo? Can I take a photo? Ryan's like, are you on 7-7-de-lan? Are you on 7-de-lan? Oh my god, can I take a photo? Can I take a photo? Ryan's like, sure you can. God, I can't believe my beer already has such a great reputation out here. Now, this guy is annoying us out, but we can't let Quinn off totally. Quinn's an asshole too. She's doing house hunters for her career. She's one of those, right?

Like, what I'm going to do here, Center's? And it's going to take me places. Because in every interview they do, if she's like clasping her hands, and she's like, kind of got her head tilted, and she's nodding about it. Like she's on the actress studio basically. Um, and she's like,

now there's a lot of layers. There are many, many layers as to why I wanted to come back here to say, I know there's not fucking layers. You've got a job, you got on a plane. Okay, let's stop She definitely directed Our town for a local high school. Yeah, like the ensign does That's a new side school production of our town. All right. I'm gonna need you to really think about who is the narrator

Okay, I need to know this. Yeah, oh So she's like, you know, oh, Miss Seifey, I forgot, and I'll miss my work. And I was just proud of her for not saying craft because that's what I was expecting. Oh, just missed my craft. So the kids go check out a school and Ryan's bitching about what a change it is

because, you know, San Diego's laid back and it's like a big bustling city. And I wanna get into the beer business. That's my passion. And yeah, his absurd too much. You call this. And once you call that, I could not see it. It was a lot. And then Quinn said to Bianca, she's, well, since I'm the breadwinner actress, I'm kind of a stickler on the budget. And so I don't want to stress on a relationship that money or perhaps home breathing can cause. So then we hear Linda go, unfortunately, House One was missing the brewery space, which

was paused for laughter from the audience, the brewery space for Ryan. And while it came with the private pool, the house was lacking the American size Ryan was after. So here we go for House 2. And Ryan's like, look, I know that we're asking for a lot with the little, so there will be compromises. But let's make a bit more of an effort, shall we girls? Alright.

And so Bianca says, Well, we're going to look at another house that's a little smaller, but it's got the great brew space that you Americans are looking for. And I think that will work. Now has anyone seen my daughter, the last I saw she went running under a car and we haven't been able to cook so out. We just hear from the trunk. Help! Help!

Mom came out of here! He made me taste his beer! He's like two bedrooms we're looking for three. Alright, one bathroom for me and three girls Cops scared the death. Bianca just goes oh dear My god this stupid idiot. She goes Bianca says well it has two bedrooms in one bathroom and a pool and the price tag will fit your poor Porn needs very perfectly 750

Yeah, but like it's not even close, right? So Quinn's like, but you know, at least it's not old because he's like, he looks a little worn because this is another 80s house, you know, it's like 80s couches, the fancy Vimbertie. I mean, a dirty ceiling fan, that's bad. And Quinn goes, recessed lighting. I was like, I think someone was shooting off a gun in here. I know. I think those are like actual, there's like a minor house fire in those holes that's what the light's coming from. So, um, so he's just like very unhappy and she's trying to sell it

Quinnish. He's like, but I really like how it flows. It flows sort of like some of Edward Alpys greatest where I'm sad. I am a fan. I'm, I do say so myself. It's sort of like some of Edward Alby's greatest works. I am a fan, I do say so myself. What are the gifts of being an actor, is being able to expose yourself to these voices really in hands to life? He's like, well, I do like the table. Shut the fuck up. You're not going to move in somewhere based on the table, okay? It's like a thrift store table, sir. And she goes, I know, baby. It's not what you used to. I think she's got to save your complex like Yes, me my big stupid American like she's so glad to be back in South Africa where she can be like see what I'm talking about mom

Well, you know unfortunately, we understand that this is not what you used to but but we couldn't find any houses that looked quite like a burger king. You can still say supersize you but it doesn't really get you really things. It's like damn it! So Ryan's like I'm just I'm used to some of our places that have like a big island in the kitchen you know and Bian and Bianca just looks at him, just looks like how did you get into our country? I think no islands were an American thing. But I like that. I like to try and, this is Ryan who says they are. Well, if they are, then I'm very proud of our country again. So, I mean, you know, I love America, but I'll be more proud if we started islands.

I feel like we need something that we started. Well, we started a lot of things, but like islands, that's pretty big. Kitchen islands. Yeah, that's huge. So, Quinn's like, yes, I do feel very, I feel for you, honey, it's very different over here that way.

We'd like to prepare all food usually on the floor, or in one of the bathrooms. It's like, wow, food prep. I know you love your food prep, honey, but. So the kids' room has got a big window, and they just will have to bonk and everything, and Ryan's like, oh, man, and Quince, I thought, but that's very literal. They're very literal and he goes, well, the thing about kids though, they don't sell at all.

You funny little lady, funny girl wife, not no one growth. She's like, this is how I envisioned living in South Africa. I shared a room with my sister until my teen, so it makes sense to me, but he just says cramped, cramped, and that's always the case. I'll tell you what's cramped. Being in a 2014 Toyota Focus driving all the way up to Hollywood to audition for vacuum commercial that you never actually want to be getting because you want to be there too late.

So this one has a rain type shower in the primary bathroom. So he loves that and the bedroom is a little bit bigger So he's into that and he's like, oh my god. This is the only bathroom. You know, it's me and three girls in here Ryan How many times are they gonna tell you it's a one bathroom? Okay, they know they know it's gonna be three girls and by the way I think the girls will be more scared of you because you know there's going to be three girls. And by the way, I think the girls will be more scared of you because you know there's going to be butt hair all over that toilet seat every single day. Exactly. And also like you'll figure it out. You'll just use the bathroom after someone. So then they do this house actually does have a very lovely backyard

and has like a garden. It's like nice bushes, there's a pool. So of course Ryan likes that. Finally, there's something that he seems to like. And in fact, beyond the house, oh, well look, we've managed to find something you like. It looks a big baby's happy for once. Yeah. Well, you know, my daughter was right about something. She said, mum, put a chicken wing floating in the pool.

And it worked. So then Ryan, there's like an outdoor structure. And he goes, Hey, what do you call that? Hot thing. She's like, it's called a Lapa. It's called a, it's called a not-for-americans thing. A Lapa is a traditional garden structure that has a thatched roof Thanks Linda So Ryan's like oh my god, I can put my brewery in there that's droof. I'm into it Linda

Hey Linda want to want to sit on my lap No, thank you. I'm fine here Ryan and he goes he looks at it and he goes yeah definitely an africa feel And Quinn goes that is will be all baby. baby we're in Africa I'm so sorry Bianca I'm so so sorry he's like guys I like the outside but the inside one bathroom I feel trepidation he's seeing all the things that are wrong with it, but I see all the things that can work. I mean, has he never dealt with a fixed rubber? I mean, I've married one for crying out loud. So he's like, after moving all the way around the world, I don't know if there's anything she can do to convince me that this is the right place.

So he wants to see a place that's three bedrooms. So of course, Linda Chimes in, but extra space, what come cheap? Dumb dumb. Yeah. Well, when Stardom came calling, Quinn packed up her seven-foot tall toddler and her two other children and made the move. And she's like, he always to be on a popular soap opera, bloody blow, coming back. My guys, this show is 10 minutes long.

We don't need this every every two seconds. We know, Quain. We know. The show, the show has had quite a cultural impact here in South Africa. We've had many cameos. We had Marissa Tomei's assistant friend came on once and also, I believe, Marissa Tomei once said that she had not heard of it, but she looks forward to some day hearing of it. And then when we said, we're talking about it right now, she said, excuse me on Maristreet, I must be going somewhere else anywhere other than here. Well, I had to compromise a lot. I had to give up my job.

God, every time my phone buzzes, I think, God, hopefully it's a fair. I mean, it's not. So hopefully coming this way, she'll compromise for me. It would make me feel comfortable with this big transition. Oh my God, you know her life is a compromise for you. Okay, every time she has to look at your tummy, Bahamas shirt, she is compromising everything she has wanted in her life.

Yep. And the two of them, by the way, before they go to the next house, we see them at like a brewery, and they're just sitting at the bar and she just looks like she's regretting everything She's like is this really is this really how I'm going to like launch myself back and start them with this guy And so she's just trying to maybe find the spark again with him and they're drinking and he's like well here's a pills

Nert, oh What makes it a pills? It's from the check area from pills in what makes it a Pills? It's from the check area, from Pills in, Pills in. Oh, what interesting effects you've got on me. Do you like it? Oh, it's so nice. It's fruity. Look, it's your dream, baby. Look around here. It's a brewery. Now just live deep inside the person who makes this beer. It's like, all right, Mer Merrill creep, drop it. This is my segment. Bianca just pops up. For the right fee, we can get rid of him. No one will know. So he's like, I'm generally a positive person. No, you're not,

no, you're fucking not a generally positive person. Okay, you haven't been positive for two minutes in this whole episode. He's like, but I'm getting worried if I have to compromise as much as she fucking not a generally positive person. Okay, you haven't been positive for two minutes in this whole episode. He's like, but I'm getting worried. If I have to compromise as much as she wants, it might lead to me being not very happy. Yeah, he's like, it's hard for him to keep up with the positivity.

And meanwhile, by the way, he's still talking about like that this is gonna be, he's gonna turn brewing in the garage into his full-time job. And that he goes, he's gonna turn brewing in the garage into his full-time job. And that he goes, he's saying to her at the bar, and he goes, he's like, I'm gonna try to get into the brewing industry here, so I could be working with my passion,

and just see the bartender just staring at them like, oh God, oh God, send them back to America, please. But let's go to house number three. It's the best of both world. However, affordability is a cheerleading. And she's so bitchy, I love her. So this is a gated community and it has double garages. Okay. And he's like, oh my god,

I'll garage one for brewing. Thank you, Bianca. Yeah, Bianca. Yes. Oh, so one for brewing. That means one car. I guess your wife will be driving you ever. I won't she? Yeah, won't she? So this one is a thousand and quince like holy moly. What am I television star? That's way over budget. Because it is what we ask for though. So they walk in and it's got like a big open concept and it's unfurnished. And Ryan's like, even though it's unfurnished, you can put your touch on it little lady. You can do that and I'll put the beer in the garage.

Well, this one's like way the nicest, right? Yeah. It's the newest, obviously, so it's nicer in that way. But it's also just, I mean, it definitely is more American, right? It's open spaces, hardwood floors, like, you know, smooth, clean countertops, you know. Yeah. So, um, see, no appliances though, no other appliances. Right. And it's another galley kitchen. So he's not going to like that. And they walk out the galley kitchen and then the mom goes, well, this is more

open, right? No, still the damn galley kitchen. I mean, the house is nicer now. Well, this is this is definitely, uh, this is much more open, sort of must be like your mindset when you decided to marry this man, right? So, I like Ryan's like, well, one thing I'm noticing is there's a big gap here between these drawers and those drawers. Well, that's for appliances. You big fucking idiot. Did you think that was a glass oven? Just see right through it.

So this sleeping beauty comes over to take a 20-year-long naps. I'm serious, Queen. I've got a knife in the back. This could be on a little secret. So, Queen's like, am I gold? Appoints is to you as I say in America. Chichang, Chichang, what a bummer. Oh, wow, there's two outside areas here. He's like, and the healing, the ceiling's are high. so it has that open feel. She's like, Quingos, but you would be very happy here. I mean, for me, it's a little mountain and boxy and I'm looking forward to more South African isms and more furnished and less American husbandy.

You know what I'm saying? Well, here we have the family back to the top of here you can speak. I'm saying, well, here we have the family. Who tells you you can speak? Come on, back to the talk, girl. So, yeah, they're in the bathroom and there's dolphins. And he's like, yeah, the girls are gonna like those dolphins. That's for sure. Girls, they're so stupid.

And the girls love eating boogers. All right, can we get over the dolphins? So they go into the primary and there's a wall of closets and she's like, oh my god, closet space. I wonder if we put dishes in one of these in press to button if the dishes would be done. That would be amazing, actually. She's like, oh, very American style, baby, very American style. And it's kind of funny because Quinn is pretty condescending to Ryan about being an American like anything that has like like a inch of space like oh well

isn't this rather American excessive space. Yes and he's like well after moving across the world it would be nice to feel at home. Oh my god just find a fucking Chuck E. Cheese to live in, sir. So they go outside and there's like a, it's a nice backyard. It's like a, it's walled in a nice little lawn and everything. And Bianca's like, sufficient garden for the girls to play. That wasn't really a question. That was me just stating something in a question. This is fine for you. He's what I meant to say. He's like, well, I don't see a pool. I'm just like, you don't see a pool where there

is a pool. It's just over this wall. It's called a sheet pool. He's like, oh my god, back to the pool. You know what? I finally climbed my way out of that Uber pool and they're bringing me back. I finally climbed my way out of that Uber pool and they're bringing me back. If you want to get to the pool, you just have to climb up this wall, just climb. Here's a ladder, have all the way to the tippy top. Vera, push, push him right now Vera. May you see that little platform of knives, drop on to it. So he's like, well, I really want in our own pool, but at least there's one for us to get wet and, oh, do you think they'll mind if I root beer in the pool? God, trust me, your neighbor has wanted you to have your own too.

Yes. Okay, he's acting. He's acting as if he's not going to be the worst part of this place. Because you know that that guy is the guy who's at the pool all day on a work day with his own plastic cut from big lots filled with, you know, a homemade piniacal otter or some shit with like a little paper umbrella in it. Yeah, 100%. So, um, so now, uh, they're done looking at this house, Alinda says, when Quinn was offered the chance to reprise her role on a South African soap, she was eager to return home and then Ryan says,

yeah, she got her roll back on seven to long, 10 years later, dumb dumb. I believe in this one. Took her 10 years to get her roll back. Oh my God. So they start, mouth her in another brewery, right? Yeah, I think that was time to start like discussing. Yes, the houses.

Yes. So then they're like walking around and she's like, we have a big decision to make Lovie. He's like, yeah, we do. Am I going to be happy or am I going to be sad? House one was on a budget and or was on budget and furnished, but it didn't have an American size for a dumb dumb over there.

Two was most affordable and it did have a brew space, but it was even smaller than one, and three finally had the size to make Ryan comfortable, but the cost concerned Quinn. The one who's actually working for a living, like, whoa, lend out, whoa, lend out. Unfortunately, this beautiful house that was just slightly over budget was just perhaps too expensive for someone who maybe forgot that she took a role from someone who worked very hard from it. So I just, I wrote, she's going to get him house three.

She's going to be a sucker, and she's going to get him the big house, or he's going to moat and whine around for the next 10 years of her life. While he's cheating on her. Because you know he's gonna cheat on her and then be like, but I moved all this way. I was lonely. I did this for you. That's exactly right. And so now he's like, well, I think it's pretty obvious which one we're not gonna live in. The yellow house, it's like, okay, which is actually a good choice

because it was horrific. And then they set up for to do like a little picnic thing and Quinn has a bottle of wine and she's like, do you know, it's not all about the space in Africa. I really feel like that cottage house has so much of what our family would be happy with. Yeah, and Ryan's like, yeah, but only two bedrooms and one bathroom.

Now, think back to that modern place. We're going through a big transition. I'm moving far and that two car garage reminds me of San Diego. You know what they say? San Diego, city of garages. So I put honey, it's over budget. He's like, but I'm willing to sacrifice low point. Come on. She goes, okay, well honey, I'm going to do an acting exercise and you've got now and

I really feel like the cottage is the way to go because you get one of your brewing spots that you'll probably give up in two months when you realize it's a stupid thing to do for a stupid man. And please just take a sip of this wine that I perhaps poisoned and think about it. And I think that's the house that we should go with. House number two, house number two. And he's like, okay, you can have what you want. I wish socks. I wish.

I wish socks. I wish socks. And then I thought, you know, Quinn, Quinn is really the one who's like the bigger, I think Quinn is like come to Australia. All set up, all be the breadwinner. You won't have a job. I'll make you miserable in a tiny house.

We're sharing a bathroom with three ladies and you'll be back to America in about five minutes. I think she's probably planning on Lily patting to like one of the actors on the show or something. Good for you. Oh yeah. Well, I mean, she, I, I, I don't know why she put in that drink because he was like, I don't wanna compromise.

I've already compromised enough. Having a little bit of drink of this honey. I don't want to, we'll take the second house. That's great, I'll do that. Yeah, so they love it. For whatever reason. And he's like feeding the kids. He's like, what do you want for breakfast?

And one of them's like, Ah, kick. The TR one them's like, Ah, kick. The TR one, of course. Ah, kick. That's what you get for giving her a TR. That is what you get. That's exactly right. So now they feel like their life is complete.

And he's like, yeah, you know what, it's working out. We're having fun. Yes. And you know, going back to work has been a little bit of an adjustment, you know, because I go into work and turns out I'm a, what they call a production assistant, not actually reprising my role.

So that's a bit of an adjustment, but I enjoy it as a life experience. He's like, well, I would add a bath for toilet and for privacy. Well, yeah, that's generally what, what you get in those. She She's like well, we can aid a compost to be in the backyard. Oh, I knew there was a little saithy and fricking chick All right, because I've brewed some beer already and if there's one thing I could do this house. Oh, yeah It's have some privacy that way anyway the good news is the beer It worked out the bad news is I'm facing three felony poison charges. Beer, I didn't

make it, unfortunately. I want to see if they're still married. Seven did Lawn cast, okay. Let's see cast. It's set. And you know, it's Delaun and D-E-L-A-A. It's based. Oh yeah. I came up in the googs. Okay. So I did the whole research. Oh, you did. What did you find out? No, I just, I just, I think I just looked about, I came up in the googs. Okay, so I don't know what she's still on. Oh, you did? What did you find out? No, I just, I think I just looked about, I looked up the show, because she was on, I think, did I look, I think I looked up from, I mean, brown, yes, this is,

Queen Brown, I was part of the original cast. Yes, well, her headshot for it is still like, a black and white one, which is very 90s. So I hope she life-stated. Oh, I mean, she's best known for her roles in the films. Uma, this limb kind, Sedona's rule. Okay, divorce. That's what I want to know. Quinn Brown. I'm going to just do a word search in her wiki for divorce divorce. Maybe Ryan's just a guy that she hired, you know, to, to, to, to, she just cast Ryan. And it just was not the, the

actor she was hoping for. Oh my God, I guess they're still together. Well, I didn't call that one. I thought, I think it's shocking. Leave him. I'm going to write her a fan mail. It says fan mail. I'm like, put little hearts on it. And then when she opens it, it says, just leave that pig. Leave him. He's cheating on you. He's wasting your money on craft beer. Yeah. Well, everybody, this was a fun one beer. It was great. It was so funny. Thanks everyone for listening. There's going to be more dwell hello.

Our final dwell hello of our dwell hello season is going to be next week. But of course, you can listen to all the ones that we've already done. You can listen to us on watch of crapppens. And a season one at Dwell Hello is available on Stitcher Undemand. So just do some Googling and you'll be able to find that. Bye everybody, we love you. Bye. Hey, prime members.

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