Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello 308: Micro-Farming in Georgia

Episode Date: April 20, 2023

A couple wants to move to rural Georgia to start a micro-farm, but she wants rolling hills, and he wants '90s wallpaper! Will they ever figure it out? If you want to watch the original episode, check out House Hunters Season 230, Episode 5: "Micro-Farming in Georgia" on Youtube TV.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to Dwell Hello. I'm Ben Mandelker, joining me today on this House Hunter's recap episode. It's the one, the only, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie, how's it going? Hello, how are you? I am a wonderful thanks. We are here to talk, Dwell, hello. This is our, this is our Wondry Plus exclusive show, which you probably know,

because you're probably listening to it right now on Wondry Plus. where we talk about house hunters or house hunters international. Today's episode that we are recapping is House Hunters Season 230, Episode 5, Microfarming in Georgia. We watch this episode on YouTube TV, and we always say where we watched it because sometimes the episodes are on different platforms. And depending on the platform they are on, they have different labels in terms of seasons and episodes. So once again, this is microfarming in Georgia with some very plain people looking to find a house. These are some very, very, very vanilla people now. We don't do as many house hunters these days as house hunters international. I generally find house hunters international more

entertaining. I find that when it's in America, even though House Hunters International is a lot of the time Americans looking for a place internationally. And so that's embarrassing. Somehow it's more embarrassing as an American watching Americans in America, don't you think? It can be rough, but I think that's where its charm is, is that you're just, you're really sometimes seeing America on display in all facets, right? From the Americans choosing the house to the houses that the Americans are choosing. It's just like pure America. And that's, that could be deeply entertaining. And just pure humanity. It's just people spouting off stuff they've heard on HGTV,

but they don't know what it means. And that's what we get a lot of today. Like a couple acting like, this couple is acting like they are shopping for mansions. Okay. They're shopping for gigantic, like, yellow stone ranches. But they're spending $5, and they're, like, searching in like Pahugit, Georgia, okay?

And they're acting all hoity-to-dy-thority. And I'm like, girl, you've got jealous. on your chest. Okay? Well, you know, the thing is that they have such high demands for it's got to look like this. It's got to look like that. It's got to be modern.

It's got to be chic, yada, yada, yada. Like they are full on tastemakers. And the biggest twist of the episode. I'm like, come your hair. You know what I mean? But the biggest twist of the episode is in the final one minute when you see which house they chose. And then you see the furniture that's in this house.

I'm like, wait a second. So you make all these demands about what you have, what you want. and this is what you're going to put inside the house? This? You're going to furnish it with a tape together, bark a lounger, and a table with plastic legs. I know. Okay.

Listen, I understand, you know, you upgrade your furniture as you go, but I'm like, even your starter furniture can be cute, you know? Like, it's not, like, you can get some basic stuff. Yeah, so you can still have taste. Yeah, taste. Taste has no price, okay? Yeah. So we start, this is, yeah.

Yes, micro farming in Georgia. I just picked it because it's called micro farming. And I was like, oh, this has got to be funny because the word micro farming is in it. And that in general is funny. It's like, I want to be a farmer, but just a micro farmer. Yeah, just a little bit. Just a little. Just kind of. Like, I kind of want to do it.

Just enough that I can't go away on the weekends very easily, but not enough that I can sustain myself reasonably, you know? Exactly. Yeah. So I can have like a few eggs here or there. I want to be able to have a few eggs and, like, be able to tell people. Actually, I'm going to say this about a microfarm. My theory about a microfarm is that the real asset of having a microfarm is that when you talk to people, you can say,

oh, well, I have a microfarm. So actually, we don't even buy milk anymore. Like, that's the whole reason why is to brag that I'm not buying milk. And doesn't it sound snobby? Like, I thought it was going to be snobby people because it's called a microfarm. That's just like a microbrewery. I would have thought it was going to be gays. Microdosing. I only know snotty people who talk like that, who use the word micro in things. And so I thought it was going to be snotty people who are like, we're micro farming. We farm, but we farm tiny things.

Like, you know, like those little tiny leaves or baby lettuce, you know, microgreens. I thought it was going to be two gays wearing matching gingham who, like, one's in finance, but it's giving it up because his partner who is like the partner who does like nothing, you know, the one who has like a dream of having a micro farms. They're going to move out to the country. And they're going to start like having, they're going to have some goats and they're going to make some artisanal cheeses. And I thought that's what it would be like.

But no, it's just like these two saying that they just want to have, they want to have a small farm that they can live off of. They want to be homesteaders. But there's nothing about these people that says to me, these are people who live off the land. No, nothing. These are definitely people who live off the Walmart.

I'm about to say a Walmart. Okay. So, and I can say that because I am one of these people, so I can say it. So this is in Georgia, like we said, and so we get the beginning part where the realtor is like, those are grape vines. And there's actually grapes on them because they're vines with grapes. They're grape vines. That's the kind of vine they are, okay? And the wife is like, oh, wow, honey, there's grapes.

It's a vine with grapes. Oh, God, these two. Please don't make wine. Please don't become a micro winery, please. It's just wine in small bottles. It's just wine for babies. So Linda, the narrator, says, Bree and Trevor dream of raising their blended family of five in the country and starting a microfarm in rural Georgia.

For her, this means finding a modern farmhouse. Well, look at this one. There's lots of cabinets. And she goes, I love that they're white. And this one's like, I don't like white cabinets. Like, oh, what a pair. I can see how these two got together. It's like, I love light cabinets.

I hate them. You know what I love the sunshine? I love the night time. Oh, you marry me. It's a truck. Yeah. But he wants a vintage ranch home that reminds him of childhood. And then we see him in this hideous room saying,

I love this wallpaper. It's so homie. And then the realtor's like, it's 90s. It's not homie. It's 90s. Also, this is another, we just did an episode this year, the lizard guy who was obsessed with his child. home and wanted to recreate.

Your childhood home is gone. It's over. It's dead. Let the past go. Okay? Let it go. You fucking mama's boy. Fucking let it go, dude.

You want wallpaper borders in your house because your mama had him. Your mama was tacky. Okay. There I said it. Move along. Actually, I had wallpaper borders in my room as well. But this is,

but this is an ongoing thing with house hunters. Because I think the women on these shows tend to pay a little bit more attention to, like, at least they pay attention to, like, trends or whatever. and the guys don't, but the guys know they have to have an opinion on something, so they just go to what they know, which is what they grew up with. And they're just like oddly attached their weird mommy issues that like in the form of wallpaper. Yeah. And so he wants a vintage ranch home that reminds him of childhood wallpaper borders. Ugh, gross.

And the wife is like, no, we are not going to have wallpaper borders. And goes, it's homie. Oh, cut your hair, you goddamn hippie. Okay, cut it. You don't get to get to walk around that and just say micro farm over and over and have a personality. So we start off in Chattanooga, Tennessee, and Trevor, the guy's name is Trevor, and he says that he was in the Army for seven years. He's like, and now I'm a crane technician and I travel the country working on cranes. And then Bree, the wife is like, I'm a stay-at-home mom homemaker.

And we went, we went to the high school. mentioned that. Yeah, I would sit at the same time. Love. And they met on the swim team, which is hot. Because I used to go, for one year, I went to All Boys Catholic School in El Paso, Cathedral High School. And the biggest thing there was the swim team. Like, they were, they ruled the school. Oh, my God. I walked in there at shower time one day. I will never forget, like, I will never forget how I felt. So I was like, oh my God, I'm so in love. I'm in love with all of you. So I can imagine falling in love on swim team for sure. So I'm behind.

this couple now and I want wallpaper borders is what I'm saying well they dated for six months but then they went their separate ways and got married to separate people and they had their first children and then those relationships fell apart they reconnected five years ago and now they've been living together in chattanooga for two and a half years wow you could that was their whole resume yeah that was a lot that was the whole thing that was but i like that they were like we're just swim team fucks and then they left each other but then they like married regulars. They married Normies. And then they're like, no, I need to get back in that swim team fuck kind of life. Yeah. I'm calling Triv. And so they went to Chattanooga. And that's in Chattanooga,

that's where Bree's Aunt Gina lives. And Aunt Gina's great. And Gina is the one stealing the show. And unfortunately, we only get her in the beginning of the end of it. But Angina's like really judgy. And she has a lot of opinions. And you know she wants it to be brought along on the show. She's like, now, are you sure you don't need me to help look at some of those houses? Maybe Trevor can't make it one day because I could certainly help out a lot. You need me at all now? Yeah. You know who's called most of this family, don't you? Aunt Gina, that's who. Everybody knows it. Okay. Come on in here. I got those cookies started. And by I've started those cookies, it means she's making aunt, I mean, uncle, whatever his name is, mix these cookies in a bowl. These cookies, like they're being made out

of red meat and oatmeal. I'm not really sure what's happening. I don't trust Aunt Gida's cookies, but I like her. I think Angela has a cookie recipe. that she's very proud of, but no one else likes, but no one else can tell Aunt Gina about her cookies. So everyone always has to pretend that they love her cookies. And Aunt Gina goes and brags her friends. Oh, I got my cookie recipe. People love, my entire family loves that they come over.

They say, Aunt Gina, can you bring out those cookies? We love them so much. I mean, it is a blessing. Well, everybody's just super passive aggressive with her because Trevor's like, oh, you're making cow pie cookies. Well, you know what a cow pie is, right? Yes. It's shit.

poop. It's poop. Okay. So that's what your family thinks, her, Aunt Gina. Okay. So Trevor's talking about how they've lived here like two years and she's like, yeah, well, we'd love to visit Aunt Gina, mostly because she makes cookies. She's a real bitch otherwise. But thankfully she's got cookie making in her personality or no one would ever come to see Aunt Gina. Yeah. And Gina's saying, Are you guys really going to believe in Tennessee and going to

Georgia? You were going to betray your Tennessee family by going down there. You know that, right? You know that right. It's like, oh, wow, and Gina, you are clutching that dough very hard right now. You know who went down to Georgia, don't you? The devil. He was looking for a soul to steal. Traders. Trader. So Trevor's like, well, it's only 30 minutes away. And they want to move down there because their other, their ex-spouses live down in Georgia. So that way it would make the drive down there for with the custody a lot easier. When are we going to get UPS for children? I mean, my God.

You know, one of the biggest problems with having children is having to get their stupid asses from place to place. It's a real thing. Okay, these kids have, I'm sure we're going to talk about this in Jersey this week, but these kids have to be so many places. They've got to go to school. You've got to go to school. Okay, they won't take the bus because that's too much. Then they got cheer, and that's all the way across town. Then they got a tutor who's like an hour away in the other side of town.

How are you supposed to do all that? It does not make sense. I'm inventing a UPS for children. It's not any people involved. Nobody can hurt them. No, no, that's people involved. I want those little drone things with like little cages attached. You shove your kid in it and you pay it.

You put your credit card in and it just drops them off wherever the fuck they need to go. I'm sick of worrying about kids' schedules. You little fucker. You're a child. You don't own me. Here's what you do. Lower the legal driving age to seven. Okay.

And then what you do is you get special cars Because you know how like when you're a kid They have special cases for the iPads You know, it's that way They're like those big pink cases And they always have some of those things So you put that around the car Yeah

They get on the road The car can only go so fast If it gets in your way You can kind of like nudge it away It's sort of like a bumper car But the kid will be fine Because the car's all padded And the kid can just get from point A

To point B As you know there's that show on Netflix How old? right or what's it called you know where the kids are doing errands they're going yeah like two years old or like 18 months and they're carrying fish across the town if a kid can carry fish across the town they can drive that's what i'm gonna say right now get a fucking car and by the way they don't take away a driver's license either and so anyone who ever has to be stuck in the car with their parents who ain't spring chickens anymore knows what that turns into i mean if you

let those fuckers drive you might as well as let a seven-year-old drive at least a seven-year-old's not drunk you know what they're way there are way worse drivers i guarantee you that a 43-year-old is probably a worse driver than a seven-year-old. I'm going to say that right now. In general, I trust, I believe children are our future. I trust them more than I trust adults. Okay, there I said it. Trust them to drive.

Let the kids drive. Come on, they can do it. They can run a computer. So the wish list, these people have a very long wish list. They want to be either in the Ringgold area or Chickamauga. And Bree is like... Chickamauga. Get some respect.

Chikamanga? Oh, I thought it's Chichamaga. Chikamaga. So, Brie is like, we love the rich history in those towns. God, because as everyone knows, the Ringgold area is a place that has a, has a, has a, has a, has a, used to have a blockbuster. And that blockbuster is now a pet smart. And just that rich history is just so beautiful to me. And then I don't even want to get started on Chikamaga, Chigamonga. ring gold that was named after a lady from the breakfast club everybody loved her that was ringwold ma'am oh well rings are gold not yours ma'am okay well it still sounds fun okay they have a nice mall okay now i'd be willing to go up to 425,000 and Trevor goes whoa whoa what are you a Rockefeller what the heck and then Trevor tells us I did grow up quite privileged but my father oh okay listen we're on the era where we all need to learn how to check our privilege, and I'm glad that Trevor has. I, however, think he means rich. I didn't see your childhood on a TV show, but I'd like to say, no, you didn't. Okay? Your mom just actually boiled spaghetti sometimes instead of opening the can, okay? Like, get off your fucking throne, sir. I'm going to say, based on the Bark-A-Loungeer of furniture we see later in this episode, I'm questioning the amount of privilege that you were raised with.

I can tell you the privilege you were not raised with. The privilege you were not raised with was the knowledge that that furniture is terrible. You were raised with Ron Howard privilege, where everywhere you went people thought you were from Happy Days and they gave you free things. That is the only privilege you were raised with, sir. He was raised with the privilege of his hair being the same color as his skin. So, yeah, he's like, I did grow up quite privileged. I die. By the way, yeah, I'm sorry, that's crazy. I'm sorry, I just don't believe this guy grew privileged. And it's weird to ding someone first saying that they were privileged and suspecting that they weren't. It's like we're poor-saming people. It's not poor-saming people. It's not like we're Rockefellers over here. It's just funny. People are just funny.

It's just a funny thing. He's like, I grew up quite privileged. I do not want to spend more than $300,000 on a house. It just feels like a strange juxtaposition. I understand that he understands the value of a dollar. but it's not by the way they want 10 acres they want 10 acres for $300,000 yeah so Ruby's like yeah I want to at least 10 acres because that would give us room for a macro farm and he goes 10 acres I think five's manageable I mean what are you having a macro farm does a micro farm and by the way their baby is literally trying to dive into the cookie bowl the dog is old the baby's like got his arms out literally trying to dive in I love that baby They're like let the baby dive in. It's got to learn early about Aunt Gina's cookies.

They're talking to that cow pie, Gina, that little baby Gina. So Aunt Gina's like, y'all see that yard out there? That ain't even half an acre, this whole plot on this whole house. And we've got to have someone come out there and mow the darn thing. We're so busy. You're busy. I mean, aren't you busy? You don't got no time either.

What are you going to do with the macro farm? Nuck cases. You know what you need a block. You need a square, a tiny little square, okay? Aunt Gino coming in with the negativity. Am Gina does not like the micro farm. It's like, you stupid, lazy fuck, you're not going to be able to mow your own lawn

where you think you can do that. Stupid. Don't need a macro farm. You don't even need a regular farm. You know what you need? You need an ant farm. That's about the only thing you can take care of right now. I'm not sure you can do that too.

Dumb-Dums. Because we find out, right now, I guess we're finding out that these two are not farmers at all. They just want it for a hobby. They just want to do this. They're like, guys, guess what we're getting into? micro farming. It's like, oh, God. They want to feed themselves off the land. I mean, that's fine. But to come home and be like, we're starting on microfarm guys, that's, I don't know,

I feel like I would ask you to leave. I just don't really see themselves feeding them. I just don't see them doing this. I don't see them. Unless the land starts growing out quarter pounders, I don't see how these two are going to feed themselves off of it. I see them getting some eggs and some milk and maybe like some like you know what I see. I'll tell you what they're not growing lettuce and tomatoes. Okay. I can tell you. I'm telling you this.

I was going to say, you know how their lettuce is going to turn out? It's going to grow for two weeks because that's how long the lettuce starters lasts from nursery and then they die. I know this because I tried to grow my own lettuce. Okay. Oh yeah. You did too. Remember I have my lettuce.

My whole gardening thing, I started off with my gardening box. I put everything in there. I was like, it's going to be beautiful, but you can't put everything into a gardening box. It overcrowds it. It's too crazy. And now I only have two things that I'm growing in my gardening box. Time and oregano. That's the only two things.

And honestly, that's good enough for me. So like, listen, if these people said, look, we want to have a micro farm because we want to season off of the land with our herbs that we grow. I'd be like, well, good for you. I support that. 10 acres of oregano and time and rosemary. But you're not going to feed yourself off that land. having a micro pizza farm. You know, and I agree with you.

And look, I, I would, I've always tried to do those diets where you're like, I'm going to live off. I'm just going to eat natural things that grow. Like no more McDonald's, no more whatever. Listen, there's only so many potatoes and eggs you can have. At some point, your ass is calling DoorDash. So cut the crap with your micro farm, because you know what's going to be out there? A bunch of fucking gophers and squirrels and skunks and shit. Eating all the shit you don't want to eat.

Your family does not want to eat 97 pounds of potatoes. Maybe potatoes are a bad example because they probably would like that. I would like that. But they're not going to want your fucking homegrown lettuce and all that shit and your apples with holes all through them because of all the worms and all that shit. Pests are a real thing, everyone. Pests are like the, you know what? Pests are terrible. And it's, you know, they're going to have a lot of pests to deal with.

And in the winter, congrats on building the greenhouse you're going to need, okay, for where you are. I mean, it's Georgia, so maybe not as much, but still. And also, Trevor's going to be away on crane business three days a week. So who's going to take care of the farm? Well, that's the other thing. I'm like, oh, great. Bree has five kids and now she gets to run a micro farm. That sounds fucking fun for Bree.

You know, like she's not doing enough. Yeah, he's operating a crane, whatever that means. He's a crane technician. He's going off to wherever operating a crane, aka maybe having an affair. I'll just say that. Yeah, I thought that too because, well, at first I got jealous because he was like, I travel the country operating cranes. And I was like, what are you? A competing podcast?

I was like, I'm jealous. Like, how many, how many seats does he selling, you know? But apparently you can live a rock star life as a crane person too. Love it. I didn't know that. I wonder if he does repairs on cranes. No, he's an operator. He's a crane operator.

Oh, maybe he's, maybe he's just, uh, maybe he's just, uh, Maybe he just does, like, runs the board for Frazier on the radio show. He's a crane technician. Get it. All right. So, Aunt Gina's just told them off about land. And she's like, you don't need no land. I don't got no land.

Why would you need land? I don't got to end. And he's like, well, you don't have animals, though, Aunt Gina. We want animals. And we're both from farmland, knowing that we can support ourselves and feed our family off the land. That's important to me. I love how houses look up on hills.

I want to see my house up on a hill, having a view. And Trevor's like, what are you going to do? Get a cow that knows how to climb mountains? What the fuck are you thinking? Yeah, this didn't seem to mesh properly. She's like, I want to have farmland, but I want to have rolling hills. I think she may not understand what an acre is. I think that in her mind, she's thinking of a ranch in Montana with rolling hills and prairie.

and herds is at the top of one of those hills and there's room for all the animals and all the hills. But 10 acres, you can't have micro hills and micro farms. Yeah, and he's like, yeah, Flatland is more practical for animals and kids. And she goes, yeah, well, Trevor wants a big old flatland where he can have a workshop because he works on things. And Trevor goes, oh, yeah, I build things, all kinds of things.

Cars. Like, really? That's it. Just cars. I build cars. Cars. All kinds of things. Cars.

Can I see one, please? I demand to see one of these cars. I don't believe, Trevor. You know what? Actually, I would like to see one of the cars, because based on his ability to make a car, I might have more faith in his ability to be a farmer, right? The DIY of it, you know?

A carmer. Maybe he can grow cars. Also, congrats, while your husband is out making a car, who, like, congrats, Bree. Now that means you have to be, you know, pulling up the beats and the radishes, et cetera. Exactly. She's putting herself into a life of misery.

And I see it coming. She's not going to like this. She's going to go back to the other husband. Well, you know who knows. That's why they're moving closer to the other spouses. You know that, right? Yeah. Well, you know who knows this the most is Angina.

Because Angina is still fuming. You know, after they left that house, Angina probably repeated that, like, proudly. So I said to her, I said, you see that yard out there? That's not even half a yard. And someone's got to mow that. I said, you got to mow it. And I said, I looked to her right this way, and I put my finger right in the dough. And I said, you got to mow that.

And you know what she did? She looked at me and she said, I don't care. I want animals. You know what? You're going to get animals because they're all going to be living in your tall grass. That's what I says to her. Your animals are going to be children growing up on a fucking micro farm. That's what I told her.

God damn idiot. Unmode micro farm. 10 acres. 10 acres. All week long, all week long, she's telling this. When she goes to her, when she goes, has dinner with her friends, when she plays bridge, whatever. So I told my news. I said, you see that yard out there?

That's half an acre. Did you tell them about the mowing? Oh, sure, did tell them about the mowing. I said, you got to mow that. She looked at me like I was crazy. Never heard a grass growing before. I told her, why do you need to grow potatoes when you got the brain like one? Okay?

You've already got a potato for a brain. And so, Bree's like, well, I like farmhouse style. And Aunt Gina's like, oh, I know you do. That's why you married someone with the color and a chip. But you're not Joanna. Okay? So let's just let the dream die. sister okay and Trevor what are you shaking your head at and he's like I like big ranch style houses

with big porches you got to ask yourself when you walk into my house does Kevin Costner live here whoee is that a Yellowstone reference yeah because he's talking like he wants to buy the Yellowstone house he's like I think that Yellowstone did this to people because people love that show and I think that there's a lot of people like this who are like wow If we just moved to a farm, that'll be cheaper, and we can afford Kevin Costner's family ranch, and then we can have cows, and we can have all of this stuff. You can't. It's a dream. Okay.

And it's a hellish dream. Does Kevin Costner look happy on that show? He's not happy. He's a miserable fucking curmudgeon in that guy. There's a reason why we invented supermarkets, so we wouldn't have to do this anymore. Yes. I mean, look, I want to eat a fucking tree, an apple off a tree. They're disgusting.

They have worms in them. I want, genetically modified organisms. People worked very hard to modify that apple to look decent for you. Yeah. Listen, I love the dabbling in, you know, again, I have a garden box. The garden box, I put a lot of effort and time and money in a garden box whose basic, you know, upside is that I have unlimited time. Like, anytime I need time, I'm like, thank God I have a garden box.

I mean, could you imagine I could have bought like all the clamshell packets of time, but for amount of effort I put into that garden box. So I get it, like having like some, some stuff to grow as a hobby. But I know I'm never going to, I'm never going to sustain myself off my garden box or any sort of like rooftop guarding. It just doesn't work that way. And I think that, I don't think that people, I'm sorry. I was going to say, I just don't think that people are realistic with their, their,

they're not realistic. It's like when COVID hit and then we thought the world was going to end. And what everybody decided that they all needed at one time, what were the two things? Toilet paper and bread. Yeah. Fucking bread. Okay. Everybody tried to make bread.

That was all we wanted to do was be able to make our own bread. And that's when I learned. I suck at making bread. I can't make it. I can't make a decent bread to save my fucking life. I don't know if it's my, I don't know what it is. But guess what?

Some things, it's okay to just buy it. I don't need to make my own fucking bread. I don't care if it was Armageddon. I would trade Bueller for a loaf of bread. I've still got things to trade. I can get blow jobs for bread. Okay?

I don't have to make the bread. Sometimes it's okay to just admit. what you can't do. I'm surprised neither of us really got into the sourdough craze of the pandemic. I tried. I did it once. And it was not, it didn't turn out great.

But like normally that's the sort of thing where I would then fixate and then keep, keep doing it until I become really good at making sourdough. And I just gave up. I was like, you never, you know what happens when you become a sourdough maker? You never shut the fuck up about making sourdough. It's like when you become a vegan or a Christian or what,

when you've lost two pounds or you do crossfit. Yeah. It's like one of those things you start preaching. I just talked to this lady the other day. He's like, oh, my God, had to make the sourdough. And I just keep using the same thing. But it was time to use the sourdough. And I really needed to make it.

So there you go, y'all. Just another perfect sourdough. And I'm like, fuck off. Like, your personality can't just be sourdough, lady. I need more. It can be. It really can be. And then she probably says things like, hi, I got to go home.

I'm so sorry, but I got to feed my sourdough starter. You know, it's got to be fed. Got to nurture it like a baby. Yeah. So anyway, so they're still talking about the things that they want in this house. So because they want so many things. So she Brie wants, Bree's upset because Trevor wants everything dark. She goes, he wants everything dark. And Aunt Gina goes, oh, like dark wood or something. Something like that, dark wood. Yeah. Yeah, like wood. Like he likes dark wood. Dark, dark. You know what I like? Things that are open and airy. And Trevor's like, but growing up, every room has. had his purpose. It's like, what does that mean? So you don't like open concept because the kitchen used to be in a separate room when you grew up and they put fucking borders of wallpapers on walls? I'm divorcing you, dude. I'm not even five minutes into this episode. I'm done with you. It's Brie pulls the, I'm at home car. She goes, well, you travel during the week. It's just me

and the kids. I need to be able to see them while playing while I'm cooking dinner, which, A, she doesn't need to do that because for anyone who grew up in an open concept, in a non-open-concept house, like the kids were fine. But I like that she pulled that card. I like that she guilted him and did the, hello, you're traveling half the week. I'm the one in this house who has to live here, and I want to have no walls.

Can I just say, I know this is the longest recap ever, sorry, but I just have to say, as someone who lives in an open concept house, I think we all do now, right? Because everything is open concept. I don't think you can even buy anything anymore that's not open concept. But I live in an open concept home. I have children in my home, not always, but like friends, children, my nieces, when they were a little younger.

I would never want an open concept home as a parent. You see them making a mess. Your house always looks like a fucking pig style. You hear everything they're doing. I don't want to see what you're doing. Go play outside. Go start something on fire like a normal fucking child. Get the fuck out of my living room, dude.

I'm trying to watch a food network while I cleaned the kitchen. Yeah, ignorance is bliss, I have to say. Also, kids are really good about just getting out of your line of side anyway. way. So it doesn't matter how open concept it is. The kid will still be like up in a crawl space someplace. So it's never going to be realizing. But I like that she pulled that card. She's just like, hey, you're not here. I get to call the shots and how it looks like in here. I think she's got a point there. You're sicking this woman in a home in the middle of nowhere where she doesn't know anybody with a micro farm to take care of. You don't get a say, dude. All she wants are no walls and a few

hills. So they go, they go off to Ringgold, Georgia. And Linda says, first, a house in Ringgold that has 10 acres, Bree is looking for. So they get there. It's basically a house on, it's not a rolling, this is not a rolling hill situation. This is just a slope. This is just a non-rolling slope, a slope that's already rolled and it's just a house on a slope.

Yeah. And then Trevor's like, what, Bree's like, I love it. kind of flat, kind of, but it's also kind of hilly. And he's like, what are you going to do? Put a cow on a not even tenth of an acre in that backyard. She goes, no, what you do is you fence it all around, Trevor. Okay, it's a fence. And he's like, well, how much

is this? She goes, oh, 425. And he goes, okay, okay, that sounds pretty fair. Which I just, we need to make note of that because he has a fit later when something is 350. So, that's good to know. That's Trevor logic. That's Trevor logic right there. Yeah. Although I guess this is 425 plus 10. So she loves it. We meet the realtor, Sean. Sean spelled S-H-A-W-Y-N. So I'm assuming her name is Sean. Maybe it's

Shaw-Shaw-W-E-N. Shaw-N. But I think it's just Sean. It's spelled with a certain accent. Hi, Shawlain. Hi, I'm Shaw-in. I'm Shaw-in. I'm Shaw-in'-I-N-E-S-E-E-E-L-E-L-E-L-L-L-L-E-L-L-L-L-L-E. I'm-S-L-L-L-L-L-E. I'm-S-L-L-L-L-L-L-E. I'm Elsie Hamler to me. She does sort of look like her. And she has those like glinty little eyes too where she's like, you idiots. She's also got that kind of attitude about her, which I really like. So she's like, that's not a hill. He's like, it is a hill. And he's like, well, I think Bree is more picky than I am. And Bree's like, I think we're both picky in our own way. Can I just tell you looking at you two as a couple? Neither one of you is very picky. Okay. So let's not argue about that. Yeah. A lot of low standards here. Seriously. So Shaween, she says, Ringgold is known for the Ringgold Chapel where Dolly Parton got married. It's a cute little town.

It's got adorable little shops. And everybody knows everybody. So it's very popular. I mean, I love the idea that this town's history is connected with Dolly Parton's wedding. But I also feel like, gosh, I wish it, like, I feel like she says it as if, like, we all as America know, oh, the chapel where Dolly Parton got. married. This is the place. I'm moving there. Thousands of people every year come to live in the land

that Dolly Parton got married in one time. Now, I like that she's one of the more realistic, real estate people we get on this show. She's like, yeah, it's a very popular place. So in this area, what Bree wants is an updated farmhouse with a lot of land. That's probably not going to happen in their price range. So they're going to have to do what they did when they decided to get together and settle. Okay? Let's go on inside and take a look. So they walk in and Bree is like, oh, wow, this is very dated. But Trevor's like, no, but it's cozy and warm, though.

And then Sean makes an interesting pitch. She says, yeah, but look at these. We got some LVP floors, at which point I was expecting the floors to say, oh, get it. Here I am, my broken birds. You'll never be able to afford this house. Thank God for love. But there's like light blue walls. There's a kitchen pass-through.

This town loves, I mean, Dolly Parton was like, you know where I'm getting married? A place with kitchen past threes. I want a kitchen with pastoral. Pasture cap of the world. Every house has a kitchen with like one of those pass-through windows. I never understood those, even when they were popular back of the day. It's just so weird. Who wants to live in like a diner, you know?

I think it's sort of as, well, it probably was before. anyone had really dared to conceive of an open concept. It was like, this way I can pass the food through without having to move from where I'm, where I am. Like I could see how, like, I can see how, like, I can see the pitch for it. But I can ultimately see how ultimately it's just like a diner. Yeah. Or like, I'm going to see my guess, even though I can't really talk to them while they're out there in the living room, but I can see them, see what they're doing. You know, some more shrimp cocktail?

I got it coming right up. You know who really benefited from a pass-through window? Alf. Who? Alth. Alth. Alth loved standing there in that past through window between the kitchen and the living room on that show. Yeah.

The Tanner family. Tanner family pastor window. So they're looking at the floors and Bree's like, they're too dark. I hate dark things. And then they look at the kitchen. And Shawnee's like, well, there's a ton of cabinet space. Or knows you're going to need it with your micro farm and quote unquote. And Bree is like, well, I agree, but guess what I hate?

Countertops. are dark. And guess what those are? Countertops that are dark. So, and Trevor's like, well, I can change them. And she goes, oh, really? You're going to put granite countertops on there for me, really? You're going to do that with your crane, Trevor, really? He's like, well, that's fine, but the cabinets have

have to stay. The colors have to stay, the cabinets have to say the color they are because I love those natural wood look. And she just goes, no. So Trevor's like, well, that's what they're, that's what they're there for. I mean, that's why they're built like that to be natural. She goes, no. You have to put in a cream color in here or some why. I want some.

I like her demanding a cream color for her kitchen. I know. It's just stuff you don't really hear that much on this show. I don't hear a lot of people demanding cream color. I say, I want my kitchen to be cream colored. And he's like, no. And Sean, he's like, well, when all is done, will this kitchen work for you, even though you both hate each other's ideas for it?

Yes or no. Just tell me. Does this work or not? Because I could save myself some time and hit up the water. burger, okay? So I don't think they have there. So I shouldn't have said that. And Bree's like, well, I have clear sightlines to about five feet of the house, so my children will be safe, because this is all about the children. So I could cook, I could be at the stove, I could be at the sink, which is right by the stove and the fridge. And then I could see right there, which is about, what would you

say that is? Three feet, where my five children could play. Me putting your children in a crate? You're not fitting five kids in that fucking living room. By the way, enjoy your children tumbling down that slope that you want to live on so badly. So the best thing about this house is the kids get to roll down the hills. It's got a tumbling slope. So now they go into the, the primary bedroom is actually huge, but it's also tiled, like it's a club med in Florida. And so, of course, Bree does not like the tiling. And but Trevor like Oh, they're gross. Oh, they're gross. It's a gross. They're those big home depo. They're always there, cream colored square tiles, the big ones. Yeah.

It's real bad. It's a strange choice for a primary bedroom. I almost feel like was this really a primary bedroom where they converted or something. But they like that the onsuit has like double sinks, but Bree just is like, she hates the tile. She also hates the shower. She hates the counter. She hits the dark blue paint job. She just wants to hate everything.

In fact, every house they look at, I believe, she wants to redo all the bathrooms. Oh, and can I say she's right? because they're all fucking hideous dumps. Yeah. So this one, this is where she starts spouting off stuff jargon she learned on TV. Because she's like, oh, I just don't like that countertop. That is so builder grade. You should fucking be so lucky to get a builder grade in this house.

This is like Jethro grade. This is shit that some dude just like came and like taped shit to the walls, you know? I don't even know what builder grade is. I just assumed it was like basic level building. It is. It's like when you, it's in. like those cookie cutter houses, like in neighborhoods with cookie cutter houses, they use the cheapest shit they can find at like Home Depot or wherever, you know, wherever the discount store is for the

cheapest shit. So you see like the cheapest knobs for everything. That's builder grade. Okay. So now they go upstairs and Trevor's like, well, I don't like the stairs because I'm not getting any younger. I'm like, sir, you're like 31 years old for crying out loud. I mean, first of all, you, you're a crane technician and you're going to complain about staircases. I'm sorry. Yeah, get yourself a little crane and crane yourself down. So they've got this weird brown bedroom to fit all the girls. Now, do they have five children or

three children? I think they have five children. You don't see much of the kids. But then they only talk about the three girls, so I'm not sure what's happening because I could have sworn they said five children, but then it turns into three. I think that they might have downsized their children to fit the house they could afford it. Maybe Aunt Gina took it. two of them. You know, I'm going to keep them on layaway. They turned that baby into cookies,

cat-fi cookies. I'm sorry, she didn't listen to me about the moan, so I decided to claim one of her child's. So, yeah, they are, then outside, there's land. There's, like, a garden that's already being set up that they like. And Brita's like, and look at the hills. Look how beautiful it is. And of course, he's more focused on the fact that it's steep and there's no place for animals because Yeah, he goes, you're going to have a cat climb up a hill? I mean, cows can climb hills, can't they?

Animals can do, can go on hills, can't they? They can exist on hills. I just don't know if they love it. But they're obviously so new to it that they don't even know. He's like, a cow going to climb a hill. They have four legs, Trevor. Okay, yes, it's not a fucking cliff. It's not a cliff.

If there's grass, they'll get it. If there's grass, those cows will find it. They'll go up a hill. Or they can get goats. Go to definitely do a hill. She goes, well, if it can't get up the hill, and you can just dig into it. Dig into a hill.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Just dig into the ground right here. Oh, that won't be expensive at all, carving out the hillside. She's like, just dig out the hill. Just dig it out. Then that'll be our house.

This is everyone's nightmare. People coming in want to be farmers, carving up the landscape, and then in the end, they're going to have one goat. It's going to die after three years, and they're going to give up on the dream. Yeah.

So, um, He's like, so you want me to dig into a mountain? She goes, you heard me, Trevor. So then we see that Trevor gets a workshop. And he goes, oh, my God, I could put my lift in here. That's for sure. I could build cars, my oasis. And she goes, yeah, and I like hilly land.

And he goes, well, I like the view, just not the hill. So they decided this one is too dated. It needs more work. And of course, Bree wants updates and nothing dark. So as far as I can tell, this house, the only thing it offers is a hill. Like, that's the only check. Like, there's no open layout for Bree.

There's no flat land. There's, it's not a single story for Trevor. Uh, there is a workshop and there's a hill, but it doesn't do anything else for them. So clearly, this is the worst, this is going to be the worst house. Well, you, you would think. Do we ever know, though? I always guessed wrong. So this realtor obviously doesn't care what they think either.

She's like, you guys have $5. You're going to get what you get. There's like three. Yeah. There's literally only three houses. I can show you in your price range, right? Also, like, do you guys want to have a microfarm or do you want to have a build your own car storyline? Which one is it? I'm sort of confused because to me they're not the same thing.

Yeah, very different. One is like helping the earth. One is killing the earth. Yeah. So then Linda's like, so Sean finds something else. And more in ringgold, it's smaller, but there's an opportunity to buy more land. Oh, really? That sounds great. Oh, so you found something right at the edge of my budget, but I could spend a million dollars more to get what I wanted. Oh, my God. What a great job you did. Thank you. Thanks, Sean. Thanks. So House 2 is listed at $3.99, and it's also ranch style, which, by the way, I don't know why Bree is pushing back about a ranch style home. I mean, it's literally, you guys want to have a micro farm. Ranch style. It's literally in the name.

Also, yeah, I don't get when people are against ranchers. I hate. I hate. I mean, and I'm a lot older than Trevor, too, but fuck stairs, man. I hate fucking stairs. And when I hurt my back or something, I'm like crawling. It's so hard to get upstairs. Like, get a ranch. Yeah. And especially a mother of five running up when the bedrooms are upstairs having to run up and

down every time your goddamn baby cries. Fuck that. It's a lot. Yeah. So it's a cute ranch house, you know, and has a nice little porch and everything. And they're starting to, like Trevor can imagine putting out some rocking chairs on it. but then they don't love that there's a busy road nearby, which doesn't look that busy to me, but, you know, whatever.

And Sean's like, well, guess what? There's going to be something in the back that I think you're going to like, but first we're going to go into the house, okay? So they go inside, and it's like sort of generic in there. It's like it's updated, but updated in that generic way. Sort of the same kind of, that same kind of flooring, the same kind of lighting. It's fudgly. And it's one of those that people are like, we should make this open concept.

And they're like, no, that's a load. and beam. And so they just took out the sides, like on either side of the wall, they took out apart, but then left the rest of the wall in the house and then created a pass through in that kitchen as well. Yes. The weirdest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, it was weird. And it was not as open as Brie wanted, you know, because she wanted, she's like, well, this wall has to go, okay? So there's completely open space for the family to come over. So I guess she now, I swear to God, Chip and Joanne have ruined the world. That's just all I'm going to say. Because that's what they say in every house is, oh, what we need to do is open this place up. Take that wall down. Take that wall down. Some bullshit.

There's broken houses all over the country now. Yeah. Well, it's funny that she says, Brie here is saying that they need to take down the wall so that way the family can come over, which I don't understand. And everything is very grayish in there. Of course, Brie loves that. She's like, oh, I love this color. And it's like the generic gray brown, gray tan, et cetera. And Trevor likes a door. I mean, they're just, just like scraping to find things to enjoy about this house, you know? It's terrible. It's a terrible gross house.

Okay. So then they go to the backyard and there's a pool, which is super weird. It's like a weird, sad little pool. It's like an above ground pool that they put below ground, if that makes any sense? Like you guys were not supposed to dig that into the ground. It's supposed to be above ground. Yeah. It's like a very, it's like not a pool you can jump in.

It's very, very small. Also, I want to mention I was really amused by the fact that when they were in the kitchen. Sean is like, oh, and by the way, these here are soft closed cabinet. So if you open them, they close by themselves. And they watch the cabinet doors closed by themselves. And Brin and Trevor both go, wow. Wow, I like that. This is fancy. Yeah. He's like, now I grew up with privilege, but not this much privilege. Wow. This is privilege. Soft closed cabinets. What are my Elon Musk or something now? Dang. Wow, they're going to send these cabinets up to space.

Well, there's not only one car builder in this country who can build a, close a cabinet softly. I'll tell you that. I'm going to add soft closed cabinets on my car doors. Oh, it's okay, Ron. I've been lost all week. I don't know what I'm saying half the time. Don't you worry.

So they go back and look at this big deck with a pool, which is fine. But the thing that she really wants to show them, because she knows exactly what this guy wants is a Yellowstone barn. It's a barn, it's a giant Y on it, like from the Yellowstone logo. And it's, of course, exactly what it was. It actually, like, unfurls as they approach.

There's a really bitchy redhead lady out there just, like, completely demeaning them. She's like, oh, really? You think you want this house? You don't deserve this house. You worthless piece of shits. It's bath. It's bath from Yellowstone.

otherwise then is the only reason to watch that show. There's a cut out of Park Overall, just because she's Southern. Park Overall is not an overall. She's not in Yellowstone, but she probably did show up in the town to see where Dolly Parton was married. I'll hand to do that. They're like, this is actually the chapel where not only Dolly Parton was married, but Park overall too.

So, yes, I actually liked the barn. I kind of feel like if you're going to go through the whole farce of microfarming, you might as well have a barn. It's fun. I think that's fun. The kids can run through the barn. Yeah. They put animals in there. It's like musty.

You know, I'm like pro barn. So the barn in the back is 2,600 square feet, which is insane. It's like really big. And the house is one, it's on one point acre. And he's like, but that's too small for a mic. It's called a micro farm. It's not too small. Get a mini cow.

You know, full of air. Hand or phone. Get a mini cow, a mini goat or mini whatever. Get everything mini. Yeah, you get your chickens. You have plenty of room to put up gardens. And some of the land may be for sale.

So buy some land. And, you know, you start small. Here's the other thing is you're not even sure you can do the micro farming thing. So this is the perfect thing for you to start small. You could put some cows in the barn.

So you don't even need that land because the cows can hang out in the barn. And then they come out and they graze, you know? Yeah. I'm sure the neighbors would actually be down for the cows were wandering around. also yeah they wouldn't so also um you know that they're not ready for this journey because brie goes

oh look at this barn so i like that it's like sectioned off so we can have animals in different spaces yeah brie it's called a fucking barn it's a stable that's what hey now i don't love that this barn is an open concept though do these tables have fast through windows they should just build this into a house they should do a barn dominium in here because it's open you know they could get some open space finally so anyway uh sean does that thing where she's like well it may not be what you want just buy more property like we all just can just plop out another we understand a million dollars yeah come on sean we understand we're up Sean's just trying to get that commission yeah let's see what she's up to so um then

they go back in the house they go upstairs um it's a little tight up there um but but Trevor really likes that there's carpet in the kids room and Bree's like uh-uh Absolutely not. I'm not loving the carpet. I mean, girls play with slime. They're going to have makeup when they get older. I'm like, wait, makeup. Okay, I understand the slime thing. But when they're older and putting out makeup, are they just like mashing their makeup into the carpet. I love that Bree just knows that her children are morons. She's like, they play with slime. You know, they're going to just be squishing makeup up, makeup up, throwing it on the floor. They're going to be applying mascara to the carpet tufts. And then she, Brie just says things. She walks into another room. She says,

oh my God. So if this were a playroom, there could be toys in here. Like, well, good call. There's a strong correlation of that happening.

Good call. You should run for office. She really can, she really has a vision. It really does. So, they go to the primary. She's like,

well, this is tiny. And he's like, that's what she said. Literally. Still mad about that, by the way. I can see that, Mr. Dark Cabinets.

Yeah, and then the, it has a nice, the onsuit has a nice shower. But there's no, but there's no storage in this onsuit. I mean, where am I going to put up all my mashed up makeup? So then Sean's like, she's like, well, you know, you could make it a bigger primary and just push it out of the way. And Trevor's like, well, that's more money, more money. So he likes. Hold on, I don't want to argue right now. I need to put on some more lipstick and think about this.

Start to match and get all over her face. Hold on. I got a brand. She's just riding her terms down on the carpet of their lipstick. This is what I want. The next house has the land they need, but might not be a Brie's idea of a happy life. Might I suggest a different man? Bree and Trevor are in Chickamauga to see a well-priced house that has seven acres.

I do want to say it is Chickamauga, not Chickamauga. I looked it up. Oh, Chickamauga. Chica maga. Chica maga. Chica maga. But there's no end. Well, listen.

We know they're going to pick this one because it's got maga in it. It's got maga. Make America ultra great again. So the house has it has seven acres. It's a three in three. It has seven acres. And you may know Chickamauga as it is the place

where None other than Katie Lang bought some gum at the 7-Eleven. Chicklets. Chicklets, actually. It used to just be called Maga. But then after Katie did that, it became Chickamauga. Crystal Gale once used the car wash in town, so we're kind of famous for that. So this is like a little gingerbread looking house.

It's kind of cute. Trevor likes kind of the shaker stuff on the top of the house. It's 360-ranged stuff. I think it's cute on the outside, yeah. And when you come in, you got real hardwood. Unfortunately, it's red. But still, come on in, guys. And Bree's like, oh, my, this is the one with the wallpaper border.

So we're having to fit about for half an hour already. And Trevor's like, come on, it's home, honey. And they're like, no, it is not. It is 90s, you idiot. And he's like, but I was born in the 90s. It's fine. So Bree is like, well, I'm going to have. Yeah, guess what?

Nobody wants to move into you, Trevor. Okay. He was very privileged at that time. So, Breed's like, well, I'm going to have a worker out here

scraping that wallpaper off. She says that like, it's a threat, but like, it's like, great. You found a solution. Contribute to the economy.

I was like, you guys are the ones, you're the ones are talking about how you want to build your own cars and do your own farming. So is it like such a bad thing that you want to do some renovations?

Yeah, you have no problem making a cowpool, whatever, your load is from Target that week, but you're going to not be able to scrape off some fucking wallpaper on your own? No, but this is where Bree is now

forever dead to me. They're in the dining room, and she goes, this room is dead space. I mean, we don't need a room in the house designated for a dining space, in my opinion. What the fuck? Who is this person? And Trevor is like, why not? You can have family dinners in here. And she says, um, that's like defeating the purpose

of the open concept. You eat where you can see the kitchen and the living room and the TV and the children. I don't know. I mean, I don't know if she understands the purpose of an open concept. I think the purpose of an open concept is actually make things feel bigger and airier. When you're in a small space, it opens it up to that way you feel like you're in a larger space.

It's not so that way you, like, pertains to how you have your family dinners. Well, and a lot of times open concept are the kitchen, then a big table in front of the whatever, the island. You have like the big long table in front of the island for your kitchen meals, your family meals. And then there's like a separate little dining room area for a dining room. So shut up for your. Yeah, you can still have a dining area.

You know, a lot of people have that, like, everyday dining areas and dining room areas. Yeah. But the fact that she calls it dead space, like, it's the wackiest, craziest thing to have a dining room in a house. Like, it's disgusting to have a dining room. Like, what a strange choice that this architect made. and including a dining room into the design. All right. So then they check out the kitchen, which is supposedly open.

Well, oh, she's like, let's walk through this open archway to the open kitchen, which is not open. I'm like, what are you? That is pretty much an open kitchen. Why couldn't they consider that an open kitchen? It doesn't have a, I mean, it has barely an arch. I thought the kitchen wasn't so bad, to be honest. Considering how bad the wallpaper was, I thought the kitchen would be a lot more dated. I mean, it's not like, I don't look at it and say this is super modern kitchen,

but the cabinet work I thought looked very nice and it was large. It seemed fine. I think if I remember correctly, there was a white stove oven and stove combo, but it wasn't like as terrible as I think a lot of the other parts of the house. And Bree's like, well, I like the glass cabinets but they have to be white and the fruit wallpaper

has got to go. And Trevor's like, I like the fruit. It reminds me of childhood. Everything reminds them of childhood. It reminds me of growing up in the mansion of my privileged childhood with the fruit wallpaper up. I'm talking right now, by the way, he was raised with fruit wallpaper trim. I just feel like he probably was not, he did not grow up in a privileged, privileged way. Yeah, I'm telling you. So she's scowling at him. But I love that she never goes so far as to be like, your childhood's stupid,

you know? Every time he brings up his childhood, he uses it a weapon. Like, what are you going to bitch about my childhood? Go ahead. I dare you say something bad about my childhood home. And she's just keeping quiet every single time. Because she met him during his childhood, so she can't go after the child did too hard. Oh, that's true. They knew each other on swim team. That's right. So there was like a, they walk around.

There's like a fireplace. And this is where we see the grape vines in the backyard, as if they're ever going to do anything with grape vines. But that fireplace is so weird too because it's not built into the wall. And it's not like a, it's not like completely external. It's just weird. It looks like they bought a fireplace and just,

but it's not, it's like attached to the wall. It's an odd fire. It looks like a, But out of stove. Yeah, it's strange. So, and then Trevor's like, well, now look, if you clear this, you can see the mountains behind it because she's, Brea's mad that there's no view. I mean, you're not on the, you're not the French Riviera here. Okay. I don't know what view she's expected to have in Ringgold and Chattamanga, whatever it's called. It's actually not so bad to you, because isn't just the one that kind of backs up to a forest? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Isn't it nice to see the trees? Isn't that a good enough view? I mean, I think that that's a view. I mean, it's not a view. I mean, it's not a view. the city that it's not a vista yeah the park overall you know made out for the first time in but still and they see a clawfoot tub and Trevor's like I got a clawfoot wot very vintage she's like

I'm gonna remodel that claw foot tub I don't like it so then they go check out the basement yeah they check out the basement which has space for trebs workshop so he likes that yeah and there's like a random uh like bow flex machine there or something, a very large one. And then Bree says, you know, the space itself, like Trevor, has potential. But every room in this house needs an overhaul for me. And it's just too dark and too dated. And Trev's like, it's perfect.

So Bree's like, well, we do have more acreage. But God, I'm missing the hills. And Sean's like, well, you guys talk about it at a grandees. And we'll get back together when you want to get decided to settle. Okay. Now, at this point, I was like, you know, I think that actually none of the houses were good and none of the houses actually met any of the things that they wanted at all. No, I agree with you.

Where no houses selected. Yeah. So house number one, the view's amazing, because it really wasn't. And Trevor's like, but cows don't lock hills, which we have no proof of. And he's like, but I do like the big porch in the shop. And I love the dark kitchen. Okay, Trevor, stop just trying to trigger her now. Okay.

Now you're just being a dick. And then house number two, Trevor loved the massive barn, but there wasn't much land. And he had issues with the primary bedroom. And then house number three, Brie thinks the whole thing needs an overhaul. And the bedroom sizes were kind of awkward. Yeah. So what house are we on now to? That was house number three.

Dun, dunk, dunk, dunk. Now they, now time to make their choice. Ding, dong. And so Trevor's, we see them at home in their new place. And Travis, like, if we do this, it keeps the chickens out. That's why it's called chicken wire. I was like, oh, God, these two yokels with their fucking micro farm. Congrats on finding what chicken wire is.

Yeah. They're building their chicken coop. So they chose the house on the hill, on the slope, I should say. And I think, I don't even know why they chose it because it didn't seem like any of the houses. were any good. But the kids love all, love all the rooms. And this is where we start seeing what they've done with the house. And it's just, it's terrible. There's like a mattress on the floor at one point. Yeah, they're like the kids love their rooms. I was like, really? Because they're sleeping on the floor. What? I know. It's like a mattress on the floor. They've got the

barco loungers. They've got like a weird, like, so strange. I can't even describe the little table that was with the barca loungers. It looked like a side table that they've got as a coffee table. It was like the set of where the Crawdad's seeing in there. It was rough. It was rough. But they got the house for cheaper because the sellers were motivated. Because some bullshit person tried to put that when the real estate market was going crazy and was like, we're going to try and get $450 for this.

They got it for $3.75. That is a huge discount for a house that price. Yeah, it is huge. And they painted a bunch of the rooms and stuff. And so the whole family's coming over. and you know Trevor is reminding his wife that he compromised more over this house but she doesn't seem to care and then Aunt Gina is like so okay this is nice this house you guys so you're going to have bees for sure you're going to have a little bee situation are those bees going to mow your

lawn just wondering because someone's got to do it. Hey guys don't worry Aunt Gina's here with cornhole cookies okay don't that sound delicious oh god and that was basically Bree is just like, well, can't wait to Micro Farm. Hope the chickens like dark cabinets. And that brings us to the end of dwell. Hello. Thanks everybody so much for being with us this week.

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