Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #311: A Singer and a Psychic Walk Into a Bar

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

Welcome to one of the craziest duos we've ever seen on House Hunters International. Norwood has left his mansion with twenty Michelangelo David replicas to find a new life in Bangkok with his psychic friend Debbie. Find "A Singer and a Psychic Walk Into a Bar" on Max under Season 147, Episode 5.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to Dwell Hello. It's a Waxor Crappins House Hunters podcast. I'm Ben Mandelker. That's Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, hello, Benoons. Oh, my goodness.

Hi. This is, yes, this is our One Drey Plus House Hunters episode or a show. And wow, this is a doozy today. This is a real doozy of a House Hunter's episode, House Hunter's International episode. We're talking a singer and a psychic. walk into a bar, which on Discovery Plus is season 147, episode 15. And it's pretty wild.

It also may be listed as a singer and a psychic, not a singer and a psychic, walk into a bar. But one of our listeners recommended this to us. I'm so sorry, I lost track of who it was, but thank you for recommending. This was a crazy, crazy episode. What did you think, Ronnie? This was hilarious. It was such a good episode. I mean, I was sending Ben screenshots of just the people in it are so crazy.

Really interesting episode. Also, it is also on Max. So those of you who have, you know, realized what's happened with HBO. There is no more HBO Max anymore. Now it's just Max. And Max owns, I don't know, it's always conglomerates. But they apparently own everything Discovery Plus owned. So now Discovery Plus is Max.

So download Max. You can find it there, too. same episode season 147 episode 5 right i wrote episode 15 i think i got that i think it's episode 15 well it's weird because well it was listed as something else on on htv but it's listed as something else on this who knows just look for it's so annoying if you just go into max or discovery plus just go into the search bar and type in a singer and a psychic and you'll see the episode pop right out it'll pop right up you can't miss it in fact like literally you can't miss it and i mean that in all all meanings of the phrase like you will see the faces and you'll go whoa but you'll also like you cannot

miss this episode because it was so bizarre so um let's dive into it shall we we open with a singer okay and he's wearing tinted glasses and cream colored matrix trench coat and like patterned cream pants but it's like the daytime and it looks like a rec center and he's got kind of Elvis hair and he's got this backup singer who looks like she's played by a Amy Polar. Yes. Like, I'm not a regular mom. I'm a cool mom.

Mean girls. But even a crazier face than that. It's like if Jennifer Coolidge was doing an impersonation of Amy Polar playing that character. And this guy has like a spray painted on beard and like veneers. And his face is like it's pulled. It's pulled and plucked and everything. Like it is just like a mask. And he's singing in front of a sign.

Like you said, during the daytime. and there's a sign behind him that says the Norwood Young experience with the Hollywood soul band. And he's just in his cream get up, just sort of singing some song with this girl next to him being just sort of like drifting back and forth. And the song he's singing is, it's going to be a gorgeous day to day. So he's a liar too because he's just that kind of person who's going to like sing some false positivity into your ears. So this is my least favorite kind of singing. My favorite kind of singer is like an Adele who's just like, I'm extremely depressed. You hurt my feelings 20 years ago and I'm never getting over it.

I'm going to be writing albums about it, songs and doing concerts about it for the rest of our natural lives. That's what I like. I like honest and open depression in my singers. Yeah. So Linda has very little patience for this man in this episode. she is really like Linda's vibe this episode Linda the narrator

her vibe is basically like are you guys watching this also are you people at home watching this because I'm doing the narration for this show and this isn't the craziest shit I've ever seen on this show and I've been doing it for 20 years she's like Norwood is helping to revive his singing career in Bangkok Thailand

and Norwood's like yeah in America there are expiration dates on dreams when you do what I do I got news for you okay there's a expiration dates on everything. It's life. Life is an expiration date. We are all cartons of milk, just waiting to turn into cheese that nobody wants any part of. Expiration dates serve a purpose, actually. They are there to tell us when something is rancid and sour and bad for consumption.

So please, please mind your expiration date. Yes. Humans like expired food are eventually mulched. So just get the fuck used to it. Mulsed like anybody else. Turn to mulch like anybody else. Knowing the dream, and I'll dare I even say it, maybe even the face has expired. Okay. So he's like, yeah,

and coming to Bangkok, gave me an opportunity to what? Fight a motorcycle gang? Because they show him, they're like, he gave me an opportunity and it cuts because in Bangkok, everyone's on a Vespa, you know? And it's like, not just a Vespa, it's like a Vespa with like four people on it.

You know, or a baby. My favorite are the shots. I didn't see any in this episode, but my favorite are shots when they show VESPA cultures, because I love a Vespa. You know, I used to drive one for years. And I love all the things you can put on a Vespa. I used to have like three gigantic bags of laundry, bungee corded to my Vespa. Still on my Insta, if you want to see it. And I love seeing like entire families on a Vespa, like with a baby hanging off the back.

Oh, let me tell you something. I rode on a Vespa in Bangkok, okay? and it was the most terrifying thing. I was on the back of that thing, you know, like hitching a ride to go to a market. And we were in between, like, trucks that was like, like, I was at all my limbs were tight around. I was clutching that driver. When it was done, the driver looked at me and he was like, is this your first time? I was like, how could you tell?

He's like, you were squeezing me so hard. I was like clutching him. I was so afraid of falling off or getting hit by a truck. Jesus Christ, imagining you on a vest-on. almost killed me. No, you don't want to see that. It's not my natural habit of that. I tried to get Ben to ride on my Vespa.

He would never come on it with me. And then as I would leave, I would look in the rear view of little side mirrors or whether or not the rear view mirrors, but a little side mirror. And Ben would just be looking at me like, with a small shake in his head, like, no.

No, I'm going to get killed. So then Norwood continues. So, you know, my resolution to not expiring is coming to Bangkok, where you can sing in bars until you're shitting yourself. Okay. Literally during your set. I'm going to be singing as I shit myself.

So come on, everybody. Doesn't that sound good? They always say the key to getting back on the top of the Billboard 100 is to start singing in cafes in Bangkok. Yeah. So, by the way, he's also- Hollywood in the title. You know what I mean? I feel like that's a very, like, that's when you move to another country and you just want to seem fancy.

You're like, it's Ronnie, the Hollywood waiter. I know. And he's got, by the way, his blazer when he's talking, it's like, it's a black blazer, but the lapels are full of magician imagery. There's like a card and there's like a top hat and there's like fanciful prestigation elements on it. There was a look. It's a lot. Now, every year for our crappy awards, you know, which is our big awards show every year,

I go on Amazon and I type in the word glitter jacket and I just get whatever comes up. And that's his entire war trip. Yeah. Okay. I'm like, are you singing? Are you cutting people on half? Like, what are you doing? What is this career?

What is happening here? So Linda's like, he's armed with big dreams and a bigger personality, but. And then it just cuts to him like turning out a faucet and brown water comes out. Which, by the way, did we even see that in the episode? We didn't. I don't even remember seeing it this. So there you go. But we do see him singing a lot.

long opera note because he's in a loft style place and he goes oh look how high those ceilings are thank you and then he goes sooky-sooky now baby i was like okay all right you and let me tell you one thing that linda hates more than anything you can hear it in her voice he's got big dreams and an even bigger personality linda hates a big personality okay you're lucky linda isn't allowed to carry while she's narrating this show because she probably would have aimed at you. She hates big personalities. She's like,

know your place. This is house hunters. Indoor voices only. And he's like, this guy. And then we see Amy Polar face going, their spirits in this particular building. No, does she have an,

what is her, where she's from? I thought her accent sounded vaguely Irish. I thought she was like maybe Russian in the beginning, but then she was a, American, but then she was German, and then she was like American again. So I think she's one of those people who just travels around and then tries, because, you know, she's a psychic, we find out. So I think she's just trying to seem mysterious by, like, talking like that. She'll be like, I, you know what I do? Read cards. Very important. She's probably from Pensacola. So, um, now we get the opening credits and we see Norwood striking a gong type thing. with a big sort of a big mallet type thing.

And Norwood's like, when I was 16 and a half, as when I signed my first recording deal. And after that, I had moderate success from the first album. And I just started going around the world touring. And after that is when I bought the house in Los Angeles, where I was dubbed the King of Hancock Park, which, by the way, like, L.O.L. to give yourself that name, the King of Hancock Park.

Girl. Okay. So I had to, of course, Google this. And he is not lying. He is famous. His name is, in fact, Norwood Young. Okay? He's on Star Search.

This is an article in Curbed, and he's standing in front of this house, which is tacky as hell. Okay, so listen to this. If you lived in Los Angeles between the mid-1990s and 2011 or so, you'll likely remember Youngwood Court, aka the House of the Davids in Hancock Park. Its owner, Norwood Young, drew ire from neighbors when he bought the place, removed a row of juniper trees, placed 16 statues of Michelangela's David on column pedestals in the yard. There were 20 of them, all told on the property, and painted the whole thing stark white. In the same neighborhood where a cross was burned in Nat King Cole's yard,

it was impossible not to see racism afoot when the neighbors filed a court case against Norwood's home improvements. TV crews showed up his door, and Johnny Cochran called and offered to defend him. The day before Norwood Young was interviewed to be featured in Nest, the beloved and eccentric magazine of interiors, he and his assistant were shopping for Halloween decorations for a last-minute blowout he decided to host. He dropped about $1,500, he recalls, but before he could leave the store, they had been handcuffed and taken to the local police station. Someone had called the cops on the King of Hancock Park, because he was told he met the description of someone in the area doing credit card fraud. Young estimates he lost nine hours to that

incident crucial party planning time and he'd always thrown big parties he barely had time to give quotes for the nest story this the story is written hilariously too right well i just love how it goes from actually like something really like fucked up and like so sad about about the neighborhood american culture et cetera but net king cole for christ's sake it goes from matt king cole to and he was planning a party and his party didn't really happen as big as he wanted it, and he couldn't really give quotes to nests. But you're right. That's what makes it so silly.

Do you remember this house, Ronnie? Do you ever remember driving by this house? I don't. I remember driving by. It was on 3rd Street. And you drive by at night. You especially notice it at night because he had all these spotlights on these statues. And it was just like this big, bright spectacle.

And you're like, what is this house? But, like, I never knew who lived there. And I remember hearing that it was like a singer or an eccentric guy or whatever. But now seeing this episode, it makes total sense. Like, oh, this is the guy. And it was a long time ago because I think he sold it in 2011, right? Yeah. Which is funny.

This article says 2011. So it also goes on to say that he had a lot of, he lived, I'll summarize the rest because I know it's a lot. But he wrote a book about coming to terms of childhood trauma and went through a healing journey, reversed multiple plastic surgeries. and wrote a book called Getting Back to My Me. Yeah, and he used to be married. According to Amazon, the true story of a former Star Search consistent, a man who seemingly had it all. Yeah, he's an interesting character, I'll say the least.

Yeah, he's a character. He's a character. So he's like, he talks about this right here, and he says, you know, because I lived in a very prestigious house that I called Youngwood Court, and I put up 20 statues of Michelangelo's David. and I loved it. But it was upstaging me. Everyone was more interested in what my house looked like.

And the reality is, I was jealous of the damn house. You weren't jealous. You couldn't afford it anymore. Come on. I love that he just laughs. He cracks up at himself all the time, too, which we have in common. So he's like, well, the house had to go or the music had to go. And the music going is not an option.

So then they go to a big bell park. I'm sure it's very famous, but I'm ignorant and I have never been. to Bangkok. So I just have to say there's a lot of bells and it looks very historical. And he just walks around digging each bell one by one. And he is that fucking person in the store that sees a bell and just has to ding it. We all know this person. We've been in the home goods with this person where the office section happens to have those little hotel bells. And there's always that guy who walks up and dings every fucking bell in the store. It's true. But also this was such shady edit because they show him

like ringing these random bells and Linda goes, so Norwood sold everything to perform worldwide and they just show him clanking bells. Like, and this is his show. Does anyone want to buy tickets? Just a man ringing bells outdoors in a park.

Good luck to you sir. He's his own bell choir. Well, congratulations Norwood. King of the bell choir. Don, dong, dong, dong, dong. Missed one. So Criticizing his bell performance She's just a simon cow She's just ripping apart his bell performance

Fucking Linda So and on a stint in Asia Inspiration struck for him So Norwood says Well because I am an amazing cook of soul food The light went off And I said Hollywood Soul supper club

And I had a friend who happened to say to me Hey I'm in Bangkok And you would absolutely love it and there's nobody here like you. Nobody who looks like a crazy, crazy person like you do. Yeah. And Debbie is like, you know, I'm sorry, I got lost in my notes. She's like, you know, I'm a psychic and I've been here 15 years, no. I love the cosmopolitan atmosphere of it. As a psychic medium and healer. I love working in Bangkok

because Thailand is one of the most haunted countries in the world. This woman is... So now we have Norwood. It's like Norwood on his own is crazy. And then the fact that he is here with this woman, Debbie Craig, C-R-E-G-G-H, I'm Debbie Craig at the sulkic of the world

and the haunted country of Thailand. I was like, oh my God, this show is only 30 seconds. old and I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I know it's going to be our first 12 hour recap. Okay, so Debbie Craig, I'm looking her up now because how can you not? She is listed on TripAdvisor Debbie Craig International Psychic Medium in Bangkok. Let's see. She's got some reviews here. Suggested duration, one to two hours. Okay. She's got good reviews. She's got five stars. Wow. Everybody gives her a five.

I really like the one star reviews but I'm just going to pick a random fiver The best choice I made was getting in touch with Debbie She is the best psychic out there I felt the positivity and bliss Once I got done with the reading She was so gentle and fun throughout the reading

Anyone looking for guidance through their journey Should most definitely choose Debbie Oh Debbie I was expecting crazy face Crazy Hooker Would not get off my Rattan furniture and spreading her cards all over the place. Like she was a dealer in Vegas.

I know. All the photos of her do. It was on Rattan furniture. So Norwood and Debbie go to see the realtor. And Debbie dresses up like beetle juice with like a little cherry brioche for no reason. Big black and white stripes. And they sit down with a local realtor whose name was Diane Blackman. I was not expecting that name.

I was expecting maybe a more traditionally Thai name. But it was Diane Blackman. I would like to give Diane credit for being the best dressed realtor I've ever seen on this show. I love Diane. What a stylish, classy, well-put-together person on this show. I loved Diane's Tennessee William-esque descent into madness over the course of this episode. Like, she was definitely like, what's her face, a streetcar name Desire. or Blanche or whatever.

Blanche Dubois. Blanche Dubois. I mean, she was started out the episode Plucky and Happy, and by the end, she was like, I almost had it. I almost had him in a place. He almost bought it. Why?

That other woman ruined it all for me. So they're looking at tall buildings, and there's a fact. After we hear from Debbie, we see fact come up on the screen. It says, fact. buildings often feature spirit houses to protect against negative energies. And then we cut to Norwood saying, I'm very spiritual, so I'm paranoid about ghosts.

Can someone make this make sense? A spirit is a ghost, you ding-dong, okay? If you're very spiritual, guess what you're about to be, sooner than the rest of us, Mr. Expiration Date. I know. A ghost. And he keeps saying, I don't want someone where anyone has died. You will probably die in the next apartment year. By the way, he's not that old.

He's probably like 50. I'm making him not old. I don't think he's 50. Because he keeps talking about expiration dates, okay? I think he's like in his 70s. I think he's 60s or 70s holding on. Oh my God, yes. Good for him.

The throat reveals all the secrets. But he's been around a while. Like when they show a picture of him, he's like, here's a picture of me signing. And it's like the Vietnam War is happening in the background. He is definitely not 40 or 50. But so he, yeah, he's talking about the spirits and stuff. And Diane is like, so the first challenge is, you know, Norwood's taste is legendary.

I'll just say legendary, I guess. And so for me as a real estate agent who is just coming out of a really hard time in my life and I'm just looking forward to some normalcy, I just know I have to step up my game. Should be fine. Everything will be fine. It'll be totally easy. Yeah. And let's see, Norwood is saying, don't make my house haunted Debbie.

Can we just talk more about Debbie's fashion? Because I just kept writing notes about it every time they showed her. She looks like if the hamburger needed a date to a ball, that's what she would wear to be on the date. It's like a skin tight hamburger dress with two cherries stitched onto the front of it. And then I swear to you, ten different kinds of pearl necklace. She's got a pearl choker that's like four rows of pearls. and then she's got like 10 different strands of pearls. There's a lot of pearl necklaces, Debbie.

We don't need your resume. You know what I'm saying? It takes a special woman to upstage Norwood in the fashion department, but by God, Debbie did it. I'm telling you. So they are, Norbert's also talking about how he runs. He tells Diane, he goes, so Diane, I run Norwood's Hollywood Super Soul brunches at the last drop on Soya 22,

which goes, oh, wow. Wow. no idea what that is, but wow, great. I'm way too classy to ever be in that place, and I will never be in that place, okay? I can tell you right now. I do think it's really funny that he's basically retiring at a place called The Last Drop.

Might also represent his bank account, to be honest. I'm sort of getting that vibe. I'm getting that vibe. He's like, yeah, because a lot of this episode is about him talked about how he just sold this mansion in Hancock Park and he's now doing his thing in Bangkok. that was like that was 10 years ago like this was the 2020 episode that was nine or 10 years ago he is he sort of feel like this is like the last stop at the norwood express it's the last stop it's last drop

last drop last drop at the last stop um so he's like well someplace close to the last drop would be the bomb okay um and she's like well how many bedrooms he goes well two because i want one is my closet because my wardrobe is vast and i want to spend around 2,000 and equally important is the energy of the place. Okay, can I say, Diane is a liar. She's well-dressed. She's beautiful.

She's really nice. She's a goddamn liar, okay? Because she said Bangkok is very affordable. How in the world is $2,000 on rent affordable? Wasn't this done in like 2012? When is this? No, this episode from 2020. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying when Norman's like, oh, I just moved. It's like, that was nine years ago. You sort of get the sense that, that this is the this is the rest of his money this is it yeah like this is right and so yeah yeah yeah so

so Diane's like she's like yeah um well I'm a little apprehensive I mean I don't have that psychic gift that Debbie has so there's not much I can do here but but he wants a lot of storage and the newer the thing is that the newer the places the smaller it's going to be which doesn't really make sense

but that's just what I'm going to tell him so I guess we'll see what happens modern people were so so many fewer clothes isn't crazy so he's like well hey

I know this neighborhood the last drop is here wow what a cosmopolitan neighborhood it's very city like it's like you know why because you're in the city you're like right into the downtown

of a giant city named Bangkok you're uh guess what nor you're in a metropolis like a raging notice how there's 45 motorcycles in the street right now driving by you I keep saying that the entire time.

It's so cosmopolitan. Wow. This feels cosmopolitan. He's like, I love this building right here. This is a very beautiful building. And she goes, well, that's very serendipitous. He goes, serendipitous. Now how is it serendipitous?

And she goes, because this is the building I've found for you. Well, we all know how this show works. If anybody doesn't want to hear it, the spoiler or leave, the truth of the show, fast forward at 30 seconds. They know what? They already have the appradoration. apartment when they're shopping. This is not a surprise.

So I love that Norwood's acting like, hey, I'm a little psychic too. That was my thought also. I felt like he was actually trying to help Debbie's business by being like, I have a feeling about this place. And that way she could go up there and say, this feels right. I think you're going to choose this, you know? Well, I think Debbie and Norwood have this secret rivalry with it. They're like frenemies because he's like, look at me.

I'm psychic too. It's not just Debbie. Call me. if you want a real psychic greeting, ding, ding, ding, ding, wink, wink. But then Debbie, later we see her singing backup in his band. So she's like, oh, really? Well, I'm also a single. So would you like to hear me sing about it?

I love that he put his psychic in the band. You know, someone said to Norwood, you know what you really needed in this band? You really need a sidekick. Got it. Debbie, get in here. No, sidekick, not psychic. You know what people love when they're trying soul food for the first time? Crazy Amy Polar face.

They need like Amy Polar Psychic singing to them. Back up. Back up. So this is a real episode, everyone, by the way. So they go into this in this apartment. You know, it's like a, I feel like this is a perfectly nice apartment. It feels it's small. It feels like a kind of like a starter apartment or something.

something like that or like if you're young. It's very IKEA-e. It's one of those new white walls. New, yeah, very generic looking. Cheap looking, modern. Yeah. Cheap, but like, you know, it's fine. Antiseptic.

It gets the job done, but there's a black sofa in there. There's big sort of pleather sofa. And they sit down on it. Let's act like we're having our popcorn. We're watching TV and he's like mimicking popcorn. He's like being a total ham and everything. But actually, when you look at the layout of the room, it's a narrow living space and the couch has to face the doorway to the bedroom and the TV has to face the bars, the bar stools at the bar. So if you're sitting on the couch to watch the TV, you're not aligned with the TV.

The TV is aligned all the way to the left and there's no fix for it. And that alone is a problem. My favorite question that's ever been asked on this show was actually, I think from our last episode, that we did, where the lady said, where do we hang the TV? Because that's an important part of our life. Yeah. I wonder so many times,

looking at house, because I love to look at house. I go like every other weekend to look at homes just for fun. I love it. Or when I'm watching home shows, people do not concentrate. That is the biggest part of our lives. Like, let's stop lying to ourselves. We need a place for the fucking flat screen, okay?

Where is it? Where is it, Norwood? Yeah, you can't put it, you can't put the flat screen in front of the door your bedroom, okay? So Debbie, though, she's like, she's like, oh, I got chills when I came in here. He's like, no, in a good way. In a good way, I got the chills of like, I know you've already chosen this place, but this

way it makes me feel like I truly have a good psychic connection. So, by the way, this apartment is as big as a fist, okay? It's very small. So he walks into the bedroom and he goes, hmm, so first of all, this bed, very hard. so switch that out. You're going to switch that out right? She goes, okay, sure, definitely. He goes, and this is the only closet space? Where else would it be hiding, dude? Okay. You've walked the three steps that this apartment is. Where else would it be, sir? Okay. It's a teeny tiny closet. And if truly his like major need is to have a huge amount of closet, so much closet space that you have to

have a second bedroom for it, this is clearly not going to do. Well, we find out a little bit later that he is actually the cook at this restaurant, I guess, or at least for this day, because there is no soul food in Bangkok. He says like everything, I'm sorry, I'm skipping in notes, but it's just coming up now. Things are different in Bangkok, like they represent so many different cultures, but not soul food. So we see him at the restaurant actually training the staff on how to make fried chicken. Like he's teaching them how to make, this is like his thing. So he's going to be the chef for soul food, but also the singer for soul food. So my point in telling you this early is I'll bet he's using that restaurant as his glitter jacket storage unit. I'll bet they've

got like giant vats of oil and glitter jackets. Yeah. Yeah. I'm also working on a theory that he's just like a line cook at the kitchen and they let him come out and sing every now and then. Right. That might be the fact too, because he ran out of all his hands. Hancock Park money. Like, he clearly ran out of his money. And I kind of feel like this entire episode is just a charade to make it seem like he is, like, still living large. Because this place, by the way, is $1,000. This is $1,000.

This is $1,000. So this one's $1,000. And it's tiny, and it does not have the closet space that he claims he really needs. And, but Diane's like, so the apartment's really small. and Nor would notice that right away. But he put a lot of emphasis on the location, and this is so close to his venue. The last drop is it?

I'm not sure. And so hopefully this has as much creativity with this space as he does with everything else, including the life story tells himself. How much creativity can he have? There's no space. There's literally nowhere to put your clothes. That's not a matter of creativity.

It's a matter of construction. There's no footage. I mean, I guess creativity, he could hang it above him and just sleep under it, you know. He talks about having a dry cleaning rack. Pull out sofa. That's true. Make it a studio.

Yeah, that's true. Good point, Ben. You see, creativity did help in this situation. You know what? I have to thank Diane Blackman for giving me the guidance. So then... So he's like, hey, Deb, do you think that there's a ghost in here that needs to be evicted or what? And she's like, well, when I walk into the big bedroom, there's a very very...

very nice, warm energy to it. I feel something very positive. I think it's going to bring you lock. And he's like, hmm, that's really small. And the issues, it really limits the closet space. So then Linda says, Diane finds closets that rival the size of Norwood's personality. But, but I'm just going to trail off

because I thought I had more to say. I'll just say, but, dot, And you can guess the rest. They're nowhere near as tacky. So then they go to a next place. It's like a temple garden of something, like a statue garden of. It's like on a rooftop though.

It's like maybe a little shrine on a rooftop. Yeah, like a temple. That's what I'm trying to say. Thank you. Yeah. There's all these shrines and stuff on a temple. So they're climbing up there and there's a lot of flags and stuff. And she goes, oh, energy.

The energy up here goes, oh yeah, the energy. You like the energy? It's good energy, right? She says, good energy. Well, thanks for not desecrating the church that you're entering, you dicks. I know. Thank you. So Norwood gives us some more backstory, and he says, when I first moved to Bangkok not too long ago, I spoke to a friend and they gave me a list of names, and I contacted Debbie via the internet. I was like, if you didn't think this person was of a different generation, just him saying, I contacted her via the internet. And we had a meeting and it was like two long-loss relatives who had connected via the internet.

And she's like, I like knew him, but I hadn't met him. And basically we've been together ever since that one night. And he's like, yeah, it's crazy. I mean, we're not romantically linked. Can you believe it? I mean, a straight guy like me with a girl like this, not boning? It's like, come on now. Norwood

Norwood. I know what people are thinking. No, we are not having sexual relations. I have decided not to say, he literally says we wouldn't mess up our friendship that way. No, no, we have something that's different and we wouldn't want our deeply heterosexual lust for each other to get in the way.

Debbie's like, it's so beautifully heterosexual. You know, sometimes we'll annoy people because we'll be sitting there and I'll go, oh, and he'll go, girl, and I'll say, whoa, and he'll say snap. And I'll say, sheesh, and he'll say circle snap. And I'll say up that one. And then he'll say football touchdown. Football touchdown, I'm so straight. She says we actually are having a telepathic conversation.

Oh, okay, Debbie. Girl, she just told me the score on UFC. He goes, let's do it right now. So they do it. She goes, mm, and he goes, girl. They're like, yes, yes, they start laughing. Norwood. So Debbie tells us, I am a psychic medium,

and when I was a child, I saw things that other people didn't see. So I knew I was different. And when I realized how much insight I had that I could share it with others, I decided to do it as a profession, and give people psychic readings as I sing to them in the back. of Norwood's band. Yeah, and then we see a picture of her, and she is dressed like she's playing, um, like some sort of fortune teller in a community theater play.

And then she's sitting on this big round Ratan chair and she takes the cards and she spreads them like a dealer at a casino all across the table. Yeah, it was very Renfair Ratan. It was strange. Yeah. So Norwood's like, you know, it's more than a profession for her. admire the fact that she helps guide people to a place that they can live their best life. Also, when we're short on busser, she does help clear the tables. It's really helpful. She also

fills a mean glass of water. Gotta give it to Debbie. She does a great doo-wop while she says it, too. You know, she can really tell when you're thirsty for more water. So Debbie's like, yeah, I'm a comping Norwood, my bestie on his journey to read the energy of places. And he goes, and make sure nobody died there she goes yeah pretty much the fear of dead people is odd coming from a senior citizen and someone who talks to dead people guys at some point we just have to be okay we're all gonna die okay it's like a pooper spooper being afraid of poop like you scoop poop for a living like debby literally talks to spirits and she's enabling this fear of death in norwood yeah so diane's like so norwood um tell me about your house in l-a and he goes well it was 20s

three rooms and I never used any of them. And she goes, oh, great. Well, Norwood is a guy who knows exactly what he wants. He likes what he likes, I guess you could say. And, you know, someone's got to buy the magician blazers. So the strategy is just to give him what he wants and he wants to do bedrooms. So I'm going to give him a two bedroom, I guess. Wish me luck.

It's 1,600 square feet and that's very important because someone who moves from a house normally can't downsize so quickly. so you want something a little bit bigger. And then we see a shot of his previous house again. They are just basically mocking him at this point. Whenever she looks confused, they just show that house. It's all white with all these columns with statues of David. But also this idea that he can't transition too quickly from a big house.

I mean, it's been nine years. Like, I think it's time. I think it's time to accept the two-bedroom lifestyle. And for somebody who was sick of being upstaged by his house, he mentions it constantly, you know? So then he's like, oh, I know this neighborhood. This is where I source my fake diamonds because he's also wearing a diamond in his ear

the size of a baby. It's the biggest diamond I've ever seen in my life. And he's like, but it's just so far from the venue, you know? It's just so far. You know, what if I forget to lock up at night after I finish mopping the floors? What am I going to do? he's like well well maybe I can work out of the transportation situation so they go in and there's like

hardwood floors it's big it's nice uh there's suede sofas which you know that's not practical to me for me but like it's it's it's definitely roomier than the last place so it's already he loves those sofas he goes oh these are sofas they're suede suede suede is lux this is it this is it it's suede um that is not real suede, first of all. Let's all just stop pretending. No one's going to put real suede in a rental. No, and then Norwood goes,

I feel like I walked into a time warp. Sir, I know you're not the one talking about time warps. Okay, you are actively trying to turn back time with your face right now. Okay, so please. Really? How do you think the apartment feels? So he's being really wacky.

He's like, God, not too many tall people sit on these sofas. Look at me. I can't even do it. Blah laughing. And Debbie is like, oh, this bed, let's look at the bed. Oh, it's so comfortable. The energy is so nice. And he's like, yeah, really nice.

However, you know, it's time warpy. And she goes, yeah, and you're way too far from me. Yes, you're right, bestie. Yeah, she's like, which by the way, Debbie, like suspending reality here for a moment that he hasn't already chosen a place. Like, let the man have a place that's far away from me. That's okay. So then they start looking at the bedrooms.

And so one bedroom they look at as a potential closet. And he's like, oh, yeah, this would be perfect because we could have put a mirror here and then we could put a chandelier here. And he goes, in my old house, I had a carousel, you know, like the dry cleaners. Well, I guess it's more like in my old job. I worked out of dry cleaners.

Anyway, you push a button and like all the clothes, just a carousel. So we could put that in. We could put a carousel in here. We could have a chair here. and we could just like push a button to have champagne while the clothes go around our heads. And then there's a little hole in the wall where you plug in the TV. Now this place does have a wall for a TV, right?

And so it's like the fitting. And Debbie gives it a dirty look and she goes, Ew, what should we do with that? I guess we put a mirror in it because it really doesn't look. I'm like, are you judging the TV hole, Debbie? Don't judge the TV hole. Don't judge a TV hole. but I think what's so funny about this too

is that they're talking about all these like lux upgrades are going to do the house as if that's something that's like reasonable to do it it's like all very like posture like oh and then we'll put a Lamborghini inside and that'll look great and we can totally do that and she's like well the only concern

I have is it's very old energy not fresh energy we'd need to clear this we'd need to clear this Is it because Norwood is carrying around old VHS copies of his Star Search episode? No kidding. Can we clear the Ed McMahon from fucking Norwood's mouth? Okay.

That'd be great. Poor Norwood. So, yeah, so, Diane's like... What's such assholes? I know. Norwood is actually like the most positive. He's actually very lovely. I think we've ever seen on this show.

We're like, fuck this guy. What are you? working with the dry cleaner He's just so diluted. You're just so deluded. You're fucking loser. Yeah, good luck and stolen that dry cleaner carousel onto this house you clearly can't afford. But it's kind of true.

But like he does seem very lovely, just very diluted too, you know? Oh, yeah. And so Diane's like, well, this place is kind of a steal. So I know the distance is not what he wants, but there's a balance that, has to happen here. So what I'm going to need is for that psych to stop fucking up my real estate listings, okay? Now, I'll tell you one thing we are going to give Norwood more of than anybody else on this show because he's a star in the King of Hancock Park. We are going to give him yet another monologue. So then we cut to every beginning of a segment starts with a monologue from him and he's so

ridiculous. He's like, what I've always been on this earth to do is to teach people through music, to change the world with my voice. To transform every child, every flower, every little dog on the sofa with my voice. I was like, oh, for Christ's sake, could you just get a studio and shut the fuck up already, dude?

They're like, Norwood, drill cheese for table four, right on that, right on that. So, yeah, so now they're going, to, now this is the part where we see him teaching the staff how to make fried chicken. Yeah. And Linda's like, and now Norwood is following a friend's suggestion and moving from Los Angeles to Bangkok, where he plans to combine his love of music with his love of cooking, because he's actually now just a cook.

All right. He's a fry cook who hums a lot. So here, let's check that out. He's combining his newfound love of harmonizing with the fry basket. And so he's like, yes, I've shamelessly dubbed myself the ambassador of Seoul here in Bangkok. And then under him, his Kairon says, Norwood Young, ambassador of soul. And then Linda's like, unfortunately, this ambassador is having trouble negotiating a merger between size and distance and his house hunt. Stupid.

She literally mocks him. Unfortunately this Now I'm going to have to ask the audience Just to imagine me doing air quotes When I say Unfortunately this ambassador Is having trouble Can you believe it?

Hey cousin Padma He called himself an ambassador He really puts the ass An ambassador Doesn't he everybody So then we find out Diane's name I didn't know it yet

So I was like Oh she has a name I was calling her real until now. Diane Blackman. Yeah, Diane Blackmon. So she's like, from the sense I'm getting, I think he's beginning to see that he's not going to be able to have what he wants at this price point.

So the next apartment is more expensive than he wants, and it's spectacular. And my point in showing it to him is just to say, Busboys live in pink buildings. Managers live in lots. Oh, my God. I just pulled a muscle in my stomach. Because this was the shame listing.

Every time on house hunters or on any of these shows, there's the shame listing where they say, oh, okay, so you think you're going to be real cute getting all these things. This is how much you have to pay, okay? This is not a realistic thing. I'm just here to shame you, right? Yeah. It's a good old property brother's style where they're like, oh, let us show you a house that you can totally afford. And it's like $10 million.

They're like, right. You can't get that, but we can get you this $100,000 house and put $100,000 into it, and it'll look like this from far away, kind of, maybe, in a drawing, we're twins. So they're in this neighborhood, and Norbert's like, well, this is a ways away from the venue, and Diane goes, it's a 10-minute walk. I was like, Diane's cracking. Diana's losing it. Diane, she's like, I've been in this skirt all day.

Because sometimes they let them film over multiple days. This is all day long to have been in these outfits. We know this because it's hard to, because Debbie's still in her black and white hamburger Beetlejuice outfit. I think they only gave Norwood like four hours away from the restaurant. And so he's having to get this all in. And they're just exhausted at this point.

Debbie's like in a sweater. She's like, this was a one location look. It was like all the way up to her neck. She has like a pussy bow and everything. She's like, I can't. It's too hot. humid here. I can't be, I can't be wearing this. So he goes, yeah, this is a little far from the last drop. And she goes, it's a 10 minute walk. And he's like, that's very hot in the heat. That's

very far in the heat. And she goes, okay, but you're close to a mall and a park. There's a food court. I mean, maybe you could work at the food court, you know, they have singers sometimes. So Norwood's like, well, this area is very busy. You're in a city. You're in Bangkok. You're not. you're not in like rural Portland where people are walking you know imagine finding a place 10 minutes from somebody's work a walk that's 10 minutes and them complaining that it's too far do you want to live in the fry kitchen like what do you want here sir look I understand wanting to live very close to your venue but when it's like a literal closet that you want to turn into a closet you know be okay with a 10 minute walk

Also, I think you're right that he's actually a cook there, like a line cook who's maybe singing sometimes, because Hollywood Soul Sunday brunch is a Sunday. You wouldn't need to be right on top of the venue if it was just on Sundays. So I have a feeling he's there. Yeah, why are you getting home at 3 in the morning, sir? So they go- In-cock. Yep. Sex tourism.

That's sex. That's sex moverism right there. You're moving right into sex tourism. Yeah. So they go into this place. It's a loft style house. And they walk in and Debbie's already like, hmm, the energy around this area is just a bit strange.

Feels weird. I wonder if this is going to be a very convenient excuse not to go for the most expensive house of the series or the show. Um, also it's ugly as fuck. Okay, the energy, the energy talk, let's talk about the furniture. It was terrible. There's like, it looks like, I'm trying to think of what style. It's like Rococo, uh, tacky's chase lounges that it's all too big and it's like a chaise lounge next to a couch next to a bed, next to a lamp.

I mean, it's just a hideous. A lot of purples and blacks. And it's also narrow. It was a very narrow unit that they put mirrors on to make it seem. like it was really wide, but it was just narrow and it was tall. But he, like, loves it because he sees tall ceiling. So he's like, woo! Yeah, that's where he does his singing.

And he's like, ah, sooky, sooky now, baby. And then he's like, you know, listen, walking up to this, it's not the most wonderfully aesthetic thing, and it's far from the venue, but it's fit for a king. It's fit for a heterosexual king, baby. Fit for someone to have heterosexual, sexual moments with ladies. Also, when they walk in, Diane...

I was watching this with Dom. For everyone doesn't know, Dom's my boyfriend. And when they walk into this place, because Don was horrified this whole episode. The entire episode, and he was like, what? No. So when they walk into this place, this guy loses his mind, and then Diane goes,

and wait, there's a secret room, and then she, like, bends over. And Dom goes, please tell me when she's... says secret room she did not bend over to access it. Please tell me she's not bending over to access the secret room. This is where it got super creepy and it was a mirror on the wall that you pull it open and it's not a room. It's a crawl space under stairs. It's one of those. But it is really well hidden and I was creeped the fuck out by it. It's just like it's like no everything was wrong.

So then they go upstairs And it's one of those It's one of those places Where the bedroom and the bathroom is The bath is surrounded by glass So no privacy So you're lying in bed and you see who's in the bathtub And vice versa

Yeah You know and it's not done well It's just clear walls Okay now He keeps talking about how sexy it is Because you can look into the city while you're taking a shower or a poop who wants to go sleep at

somebody's house I don't want to sleep with you if I have to go watch you poop after gross and just remember the city can also look and see you doing all that stuff so um but then Debbie because he's Norwood you know he's a showman yeah listen

he needs to be the star so Debbie lies down onto like the bed and she goes it's got the heavier energy to it so I definitely feel like there's some spirits in this particular building. And Diane's just watching and just trying not to laugh. She's like,

yeah. She's getting pissed because this chick is like, this apartment's like $200 more. So God knows what poor Diane would be getting out of it, you know? Yeah. And she's like, this energy is bad. And he's like, really? She goes, yes, definitely.

And Diane tells us, my heart is dropping out of my chest. I mean, she's just like, she's said it's like paranoid and dark and a little bit heavy. I mean, he just almost moved in. This is what you were doing earlier in the episode. I almost heard him. This is his place. Oh, I always rely on the comfort of real estate clients.

So Linda's like, well, with no house offering the spiritual energy location and space that Norwood apparently needs, the wrong decision could turn his Bangkok dream into a nightmare. Oh, no. at least he always has his singing career to back up to to have as a backup that was supposed to be sarcasm before I bungled it his wrong decision could turn his Bangkok dream into Seoul Sunday otherwise known as a nightmare for the ears okay then anybody go there it's terrible I've been so deciding time in a restaurant so they get wacky drinks well to us are wacky because we're American it looks like chocolate Sunday in Beljar

I'm not really sure what they are. But I didn't look. Maybe it was like a Thai coffee or something. So they're deliberating. And so of course, house number three, which is the one that he loved the most and had the space. He was just happiest there, but it's also the most expensive. He's like, oh, well, that place was haunted. It was absolutely beautiful and opulent.

But it was haunted. So I'm not touching it with a 10 foot pole. So how convenient that the most expensive one, he's like, oh, well, I would have gone for it. But unfortunately, it's haunted, so I can't do it after all. Yeah. He's like, I'm not pooping in front of all those ghosts looking through the clear walls. Off the list. So we love the retro one with the two bedrooms because he's a closet for eight guys and so he could have a closet.

And she's like, yeah, but you know, there wasn't that vibrant or half-price feeling to it. So that one that's at $2,000. Unfortunately, just the vibe was off. So guess what? Yeah. He went for the $1,000 one. Which was like, I don't say the worst one of all of them, but I knew, but we knew he was going to go for it, right? Yeah, we knew it.

And they're calling it a Mediterranean wonder, which is hilarious because there's nothing Mediterranean about it. Or wondrous. I mean, it's pinkish, so I guess that that worked. But, yeah, it's right around from Deb. So then we see him living his life, you know, drum roll, please. And he, she's singing back up. He's like, it's going to be a great day. and she's like, you're dead, you're all dead, I can see you.

And then we see what he's done with the place. And, you know, because he has this enormous, enormous wardrobe that must be accommodated. And then they go to his bedroom and he's put up like two little racks that has like, they each have like five blazers on it. And it's like, somehow he made it work. I was like, whew. Thank God he found space for those 10 blazers. Oh, so he's like, it's great.

Because if I cook till three in the morning, I'm high. home by 306 and I feel so at home in Bangkok. I was like oh god. He goes you know what I'm a big fish in a big pond surrounded by a happy positive people. I'm like not so much about the big fish but I am happier you're in a pond so yeah and then we see his what he's how he's decorated and all he's put up is a huge poster of himself on the wall when he's like 25 and he's like I couldn't live any better than this it's wonderful. Now the only person watching, now the only ghost watching me

while I poop is the ghost of my career hanging on that wall. Oh God, it was such a wacky episode. I really recommend people watch it. The guy does seem like a... Yeah, thank you to whoever recommended it.

The guy does seem like a sweetheart, but also just like office rocker. And it was just, it was wild. What a wild episode. Yeah, you don't give me sanity, nor would. I have to say.

But she seemed very nice. And the episode that popped up right after this looks funny too, because it's a lady from Tennessee who moves to Mexico. And she's like, you know, people may give this place a lot of guff, but I'll tell you what, a root canal where I live is $2,000. And a root canal here, $500. I think you're moving for cheaper root canals? I know.

The fuck is going on with your mouth, lady. Jesus. I don't seem to remember root canal prices as being part of a zillow. page, but you know, hey, I'm down for it. Anyway, thank you all for listening to this show and supporting us on Wondry Plus. We appreciate it, and we'll be back soon with another Dwell Hello. Be sure to message us if you've got episode suggestions, because without you guys, we would not have had this episode.

So thanks for that. I'm sorry to the person who recommended whose name I forgot, but we'll try to give you credit down the line. So anyway, thank you so much, everyone. Bye.