Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #423: Stargazing on the Sunshine Coast

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

An expat from Seattle wants to find beachfront property in Australia, and surely his thriving career as a stargazer will afford that, right?  This recap is of House Hunters International S179 E1 Stargazing on the Sunshine Coast and we found it on Max.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to Dwell Hello. It's a watch for Crappins House Hunters recap exclusively for 100+. I'm Ben and that's Ronnie. How's it going, Ronnie? Great, Ben. How's everything going today, buddy? Everything is great, always happy to convene for some Dwell Hello. Today's episode is House Hunter's International Season 1 779, episode one. at least that's what it is on max.

The name of it, which is the most important part, because of whatever platform you're going to use to watch it, this is what you should look up. Stargazing, the Sunshine Coast. Stargazing, one word, I think. Either way, stargazing on the Sunshine Coast. I don't remember who, do you remember who sent this one to us, Ronnie? Do you remember?

I don't. Well, apologies to whoever sent it. But thank you for sending to it. It's a very fun episode. So we open up with Linda saying, Graham's got sky high expectations for his unique plan to start a new in Australia's Sunshine Coast. And by unique, I mean failing. Good luck, Graham.

Ronnie, you're on mute. That's what we're opening is me on mute. God, I'm so sorry, everybody. Construction is still going on at my house. So I have this mic with a mute button on it. And if I don't, I press it every time. I touched the mic every single time. I didn't even mean to do it that time.

So anyway, Graham, he's like, yeah, I'm open to Stargates and have my own life, living at the beach, hang out with my friends where at the beach. I was a real friend. He's really tall. I've got a real tall friend. It's a funny accent because, you know, it's like Australia. He's so tall. It's at the beach. I'm really into it. Like, life is good.

I just wish that we could follow Graham because people like Graham are fun to keep an eye on through life and just why. Watch his life slowly beats them down into a pulp. Yeah. I can't wait to watch the documentary about him where he starts off all cheerful and happy doing a stargazing business and then cut to three years from now. And he's like hustling for money for heroin or something. Like this is just going to go a bad direction for him.

Right. He can't even get an only fan's going. He's missing, you know, half his teeth because he got punched in the face by a kangaroo who he's trying to get a picture with to send home to mom. You know, just nothing Well, nothing great going on here. We've seen the Florida Project. We know which way this goes. So the narrator's like,

but with rental costs going to the moon or even if they were just really here on Earth, somehow he's going to pay for a home on the budget of someone who brings a telescope to the beach and looks at the sky. Good luck to them. So he's got a friend named Lewis who is basically a piece of meat.

I mean, this guy is ass. This guy's an ass. I don't know. I don't even, not in a bad way, in a good way. This guy's amazing. He's hot.

This guy's hot. He's really hot. And he's the only friend we see him. Yeah. I mean, can you, are there ugly Australian surfers? Probably.

We don't need to see them on TV. That's for sure. This guy's hot. Yeah. Gorge. So, yeah, he's hanging out with little Graham.

And Graham's like, Lewis, good to see you, man. It's been too long. And Lewis is like, good to see, man. Welcome back.

Louis is a man, a few words and lots of muscles, my favorite kind. Yeah, he's great. So Graham says, I'm originally from Seattle, kind of had the normal upbringing, which is why my parents are like, where did we go wrong? I'm like, you didn't. But they're like, no, we definitely did. Anyway, went to college and got a degree in business marketing, but I didn't want to do the normal nine to five or even nine to nine 15, really, just nothing. So I just, you know, I don't want to stay at a job for the next 40 days or years or any time. I don't want to have a job. I just want to look at this. I just want

to literally look to the sky. I just want to literally look to the. sky and hope money falls into my pockets. I just want to say things like this. Waves are looking good today, Lewis. God, I'm living the dream, man. Living the fucking dream. And Lewis is like, it's swells down a little bit with consistent waves,

isn't it? And Graves, like, when that was 23, I went over to Australia, New Zealand. And when I was in New Zealand for two weeks, I called my mom and said, you're not going to see me for a while, bitch. And four years later, she still hasn't seen me. hilarious. Haven't been home. Poor mom.

She's on all sorts of mischief. I think. Well, she was at the time. God, I really got sick of the beep. Beep. Guess what I don't hear at the beach. Beeping. It's amazing. Hope you're doing okay, mom. Hang tight. I said, Mom, you're not going to see me for a while. And she said, she said, honey, when has anyone ever even seen me? Please ask your father that. So I didn't know what she meant by that, but I hung up on her. Well, anyway, Graham fell in love with the region's pristine nature. Just the way I think I fell in love with Lewis. Does anyone have his number? Does anyone on this production team have his number? Just ask him if he's into older women. Anyone, please? All right.

Oh, Linda, you got to keep it in your pants because there's already one older lady having vapors in this episode. It can't be you too. Okay. All right, I'll stick that in my pipe and smoke it. Thank you very much for bringing that up. So, a ground fell in love with the region's pristine nature and settled into New Zealand where his love of the outdoors led him to a stargazing tour company. What? also known as filling out unemployment forms. So Graham is like, he's like, yeah, I wanted to do a couple of, you know,

I wanted wanted a couple other people to do tours. And, like, it was amazing. And now I give, like, a tour to, like, 30 or so people every night. And you're just teaching people about the stars, even though you don't really have any background in it whatsoever. But you just sort of like, there's a star, there's a star. And they pay you to say that. You know, I just make shit up.

You know, I look, you know, it's fun. So anyway, what's so beautiful about stargazing is I can do it any way. in the world, which is why I'm very specific about location in this episode. Yeah, and she's like, well, Graham hopes to use that flexibility to start a new adventure that's been years in the making. And when that feels, he'll need some flexibility

to keep paying the bills. So let's hope he's touching those toes every day, everybody. So he's like, yeah, I came to the Sunshine Coast a few years back. Loved it. Love it. You're not in Seattle anymore, right, bro? And Lewis is like, you're not. You're going to need a little of this.

screen a I was like I'm going to need the extended cut of this scene please yes Graham is waiting to start a new adventure that's been years in the making

and so are his parents and that adventure is not paying for our children anymore still a few more years in that one so he was like yeah I made some good friends back when I was here a few years ago

they love to do similar kind of things that I do you know balancing on board or like climbing up really perilous things or like holding on the rope. You know, we all love wearing helmets with lights on them. What are they for? I don't even know because we never do it at night. You know why? Stargazing.

But we do that. So every time they're shown doing a hobby with Lewis, it's something like, I don't know, balance on a, let's do some parkour. Balance on a on a elastic band. And he's like, yeah, I love to Cirrus. And they show, they could not have shown more. footage of him falling off of a surfboard if they tried. Like, they managed to wage a shot of him falling up a surfboard every corner of this

episode. He's like, I like this kitchen cut to him falling off a surfboard. I was like, wait a second. What was that up with it? I just want to show people what I have to watch every single day. And he really said at one point, he's like, yeah, you know, like all the things I do with my friends here, like, they're never, there are things I never even thought of doing before. I'm like, yeah, we can tell.

He's like, you found some bros to hang out with. So he's like, what? Park war, I love far. Ah! Like how they got to get to stupid American again. Yeah, so I'm just going to take people out to the beach and like teach them about the stars and make enough money to live here. I don't think anyone else is doing it on the Sunshine Coast. I'm like, that's right.

Because they can't do it and find a place to live on that. You will not make enough money to live. of a house with that. I'm sorry. Well, how long is daylight there? Do they have like a normal amount of daylight or is it like super long? They have the same amount. Well, I don't know. Maybe it's close. I don't know if they are, I think it's roughly the same amount. I don't know how close to the equator the Sunshine Coast is, but I think it's probably like I think we're looking at probably similar amounts of daylight down there. For example, in winter, Adelaide receives nine hours and 48 minutes of

daylight while Darwin receives 11 hours. So I guess that's normal, right? But then it says Australia experiences 24 hour daylight for several months during the summer. That's what I thought, that there were days out there where there were like 24 hours, which I think is very funny. He's like, I'm going to start a stargazing business when there's 24 hours of sunshine. Like, uh, hello, I don't think it works like that. They even showed him with people a couple of times in this episode where he's giving a stargazing tour in the middle of the day.

He's like, look, there's a star. No, there's not. You're just winding these people? You get paid for this. You're aiming at the sand. It's like, yeah, it's quite a niche thing. And it's pretty scary. I've actually never started my own business before.

And I'm definitely, I'm aware it's going to be quite an expense, you know. Bringing a telescope to the beach. Bring it off the beach. It's like, it's going to be so expensive, but I'm going to make it work. So then he means Caroline. This woman opens in the vapors. I mean, my gosh, she's like, Oh, God, you.

You love the outdoors. You love nature, do you? God, I just love Graham. He's got an energy around him. He's just so genuine. I don't know if anyone else is doing stargazing on the coast, but who cares and you can Graham gaze. Am I right?

I'm going to start selling my friend's tickets to Graham gazing. We'll just give them the address, and they could just stand there on the little hill that I'll have planned. We can just gaze at Graham, being happy, falling off surfboards, that sort of a thing. Am I touching myself right now? I really can't tell it anymore. Yeah, I'm really amused by Caroline and her sort of like, her sort of like Aussie surfer take on like the Elizabeth Warren haircut. It's kind of fun.

So Graham is like, you know, honestly, I'm not too fuss about this type of house, like the style and everything. I do want to look for something that's close to the beach, but I really want to, because, you know, because I really want to run my stargazing tours. ideally on the beach. So I really want to have like a spot by myself. Here's what I want. I want a beach front home that for myself that I don't want to share with anyone. And I want to be able to afford it on a stargazing budget. That's possible, right?

I can get my own beach front property for $1,000 a month. Right. Does it have parking from my telescope? She's like, all right. Well, that's a tight budget and an unrealistic expectation. You're on a shoestring. I mean, you're literally on a shoe string. Is this a new hobby of yours?

Yeah, man, they said if I want to work myself up to the elastic bands, like I start on a shoe string. He's got $1,000 to play with, and I'm going to be honest. It's going to be tough. But he's also got something extremely valuable to a lot of people in this town, a butthole. So let's go see how this is going to work out for him. So we see Chiron, known for its surfing and golfing,

Coolum Beach is considered a quieter and less crowded than the Sunshine Coast better down the Beach Town. I'm taking to him a place called Kulam, because he's just so cool, isn't he? He's just so, so cool. Go sit on me, lap. Why don't you do that? I'll tell you all about the house.

I talk him to Kulam Beach, because Kulam is what you say when he tells you that he does stargazing professionally. You go, cool. Um, so anyway. The longer name for this town is Kulam is my Uber here yet. But, you know. This guy, by the way,

He is either trafficking drugs or he is engaging in male prostitution, right? Like there's just no way he is he is surviving on a stargazing budget. Am I, am I, is this crazy? Well, I was trying to do the math because he said he works for a company now where he's doing, he's doing stargazing tours for 30 people a night. So if you charge 40 bucks to all those people and you've got 30 people a night for five days a week, that's 150 times what I say 40 bucks 40 and 50 times 40 times 30 is a lot like 1200

I don't know a bit but you know like you know like the old thing remember there was that movie star maps and it was basically like the people selling star maps in Hollywood were really just like male prostitutes that's where I'm like star maps stargazing I don't know I think he's a male oh is that what that was they were really prostitutes yeah I think did they were just pretending to sell the maps and then people were like oh yeah like your weiner and they're like, okay. I think so.

I never actually saw the movie, but I remember that was like, I remember hearing the synopsis. And so while I'm saying is, I'm pretty sure that Graham is a male prostitute. We're watching a male prostitute. Well, I bet the Star Maps business went out of control

once that movie came out. Jeez. Like, I suddenly care. Where does Angelina digitally live again? I was like, guys, I'm very interested in knowing

where the celebrities are in Los Angeles. So, I haven't had to pay for it yet. well you know what getting close i say god bless so i won't thought i'm too tired anyway um so coolum is just down there okay so we're looking at coolum and he's like oh my god super super excited because like it's right by the beach it's like five minutes from my house like boom you're watching the moon rise over the ocean that's amazing that's amazing caroline whoa so i've actually actually been to Coolum before, like, back when I was here a few years ago, that's kind of where I met

Lewis, you know? And from what I remember, it's like really nice, kind of like a low-key surf spots. I'm like, really excited to check it out. Like, what could go wrong? All right. So, I found you a four bedroom to bathroom, two, bathroom, share accommodation. Um, just casually going to mention that you'll be sharing with four other people. So, yeah, what the hell? And he's like, wait a minute, how many people in this year you went? And she's like, um, full. It's like, yeah. That was not ideal, but he's still got a huge smile. He's like, yeah, and how many people shared the bathroom? That's not great either, huh?

So four people, one bathroom, huh? Wow. Okay, well, you know, it's living with other people. I'm not super sure about that. But, gosh, so far you're doing great, Carolyn. Don't worry. It's fully, it's fully furnished with beat down ugly IKEA furniture that's been there for about 13 years and has every stain of every person who's ever lived in this house.

Now listen, it may not be perfect, but here's the advice I give to people. Look at something deep in your eyes and say, is it what I wanted today? Maybe not, but I'm going to stick my penis at anyway and see if it helps. All right, I'm ready. Caroline. The good news is you don't have to worry about spilling your spaghetti on the sofa because it's already spaghetti stained, coloured. The point is a piece of shit.

I think that's what I'm trying to say. So there's two shared living room. here and, you know, the bathroom that has shared between God knows how many people. And then he's not liking it, but he does love that the bathroom is nice and clean. So that's good, you know. He's like, well, he's starting to keeping things clean. But, you know, I've been living with four other people at this place. Like, it's a bit of a shock, you know, because I'm like 27.

I don't want to feel like I'm back in college. So it's a tough one at the moment. Yeah, she's all right. Well, here's your bedroom. Okay. It comes with a bed. in a bedside table, and you can hang up all your dreams in this closet here. She's like, oh, okay, cool.

There's not a lot of storage space. Oh, all right. Well, is there some, now, how much of your nothing needs to be stored? Just tell me. Well, I've got a telescope, a garage, a guitar. Just because, you know, it's a prop that, of course, I would have. I don't really know how to play it, but does anyone, really? I do not how to play a telescope, though.

Sitting on the dock of the bay, want to hear it? Hold on one minute. We're just going to look at some footage of you falling off of a surfboard. Damn it, Caroline. Damn it. I'm sorry. We just edited right over your singing. Okay.

Well, it's enough space for you. It's just going to be sleeping here, probably with people that you've met on real estate John's, I'd imagine. So, okay, well, let's check out the kitchen, the second lounge room. So they check that. And it's an open kitchen, you know, two couches, a coffee table. There's bar seating. He's like, whoa, lots of space.

Kitchen's good size. You know, love what's going on over here. Wait, why is there a paper tape to the wall over here? What is this interesting piece of art here on the wall? It's an art installation about rules. Yeah, so there's a couple of rules from your landlord. And he's like, okay, visitors are not permitted to stay overnight without prior permission. Noise must be kept to a minimum.

No stupid stargaze. Wait a second. Well, I said it would be a challenge living with four of the people who are naturally going to hate you, you know, because you're kind of sleep with a lot of different people, Stargazer. What do you mean? Like, you need written permission? What if you hook up with somebody in a bar or you can't bring them home? Get out of here. You have to tell the landlord if you're going to have like a fuck buddy that night?

No. No, no, no. Yeah. And he's like, oh, I feel like I'm back in college. I'm like, this may explain why you wound up as a stargazer if this is what your college was like. So Graham is like, he's like, am I living with my mom again? These rules are ridiculous. God, how much does my mom suck, everyone, right?

Oh, God. I literally lost track after reading the entire page of rules, and there was like another page of rules. So it's been like a bit of a shock to me. I'm like, I'm realizing I can't live this close to the beach while also getting a place of my own. Oh, wow. You just realized that. Who would have ever thought that dragging a telescope to the beach would not fund an entire house in prime real estate terrain? Yeah.

So there's not door pool though. So they're like, wow, wow. Covered with leaves. It's a very dirty misshaping pool. I don't know what it's supposed to be shaped. It looks like a half a keyhole, but not a whole keyhole. It's weird. And it's dirty as hell.

He's like, this is amazing. Can someone have least done like a courtesy, like, wipe with the net? I mean, I understand sometimes the wind blows and leaves fall in, but come on now. You're on television pool. So she's like, well, if you're going to live near the beach, you're going to have to do a house share. So then, unfortunately, on the pricey side of Sunshine Coast, space and privacy come with a compromise too. and the Graham tells us that he was 14 years old when he first heard of the old AUS,

but never in my wildest dreams that I think I'd actually go there. It's funny when you have a conception in your head of what a place is going to be like, but then when you're there, sometimes it's like different, you know? Like when I saw Mickey Mouse was just a big man walking around in a mouse hat,

I kicked him in the nuts, and I said, fuck you, you fucking creep, get your hands off of me. That's why we're not allowed back at Disneyland anymore. Who was I talking about? I just want to reflect on something that I definitely missed during the episode, but now I am noticing here in the notes, he did not find out about Australia until he was 14.

That's pretty late, I feel like, to not know about an entire continent. He was 14 when he found out about Australia. I'm sorry, that is very, very late. Well, there you go. You know, some people find out about Australia at different times. I know. I mean, you know, look, no, no judgment. Actually, I take it back.

A huge amount of judgment. A huge amount of judgment. I mean, I can't judge because when I was in geography class, I really hated that class. And it was always like a big map. And I just, I don't know. It was just too hard. I was like, I don't want to. I just never learned it.

I still don't know it. And the question came to me like they pointed a state and you have to name the state. And I called Mexico, which by the way, as a country. They pointed to Mexico and I called it Hawaii. So that's pretty much my experience with that whole thing. Every time I'm on a plane and they show you the cross-country

thing and they label the states and show you what you're flying over, I still don't know. I'm like, wow, North Dakota is so close to South Dakota. I am not judging people who don't have an awareness of what country is where or what state is where because that happens to all of us. I just think it is

wild that he didn't I had never even heard of Australia until he was 14. Like, it was like a concept. Like, you called, you called Mexico Hawaii, but you knew what Hawaii was. I knew there was a stupid thing as Hawaii. You know, you're making me feel better. Okay, look, I have this big clip. It's for a microphone, and my hands are looking really old.

So look what I did. I put the clip on the back of my finger. Look how young my finger looks. Do you see it? I'm going to start doing it. You've turned back the clock. You've turned back the clock on finger, finger. Finger aging.

Look at this finger. Look at this. The rest of my hands look like Kyle Richards, but this one looks really young. It looks like a baby. I'll tell you, it's the thing. That finger has the age of someone who learned about Australia on an appropriate time. It just learned about it. It's like, holy crap.

The biggest culture chuck for me, first off, is the way that Australians speak. Because they'll just take as many letters. as they can off every single word. So afternoon is Arvo, and thank you is Ta. And at first you're like, what? What? What? It's a little different from back in the States.

Yeah, it's crazy. A lot of times, it took me forever to understand what they were saying to me when they said, le, le, la, the idiot. And I was like, what's that? Turn around they're saying, look at that dumb idiot, which I think is so funny. That's their way of saying hi down here. It's really hard to take off letters. Look at that dumb idiot on the fly.

I will say that that much. And also he's shocked because everyone gets up at 6 a.m. Or he'll say it's 6 a.m. and everyone's already gone on a run, started their day and had their coffee. And I'm in bed for another two hours. That's crazy, right? But maybe it's just because you know older people, because I get up at 4.30 now. I don't know.

That's wild. Yeah, that is wild. I think it's just age. Also, what are the odds that Graham's clock is still in U.S. time? He's like, it's crazy, man. By the time I wake up at like, by 6 a.m., people have already had breakfast. They've had a full workday. It's like, you're...

You don't change your clock, sir. You're a day behind. You're a literal day behind. The rest of those guns in it. So as glorious as the daylight hours are around these parts, I like to call them as glorious as Lewis. Graham is here to help share the nighttime. I have nothing to say. So now he's on the beach with a table of food and three tell.

telescopes and this is where a group of people approach him in the daylight and he's like gather around nice to meet you look at the stars and it's like bro they can't it's sunny what are you're talking you're literally moved to the sunshine coasts he didn't move to the moon express so he's like well when I heard about stargazing in New Zealand like it just instantly felt right I was like whoa this is cool I can make money but also like unwind and relax Yeah, I knew it was something I needed to do. It was either that or find Old Zealand. I decided, you know what, I'm going to do stargazing. So tonight, we're going to have basically three main constellation, guys. We're going to have Orion, Canis Major, and McDonald's. If you look closely, the stars look like a Big Mac.

Like, are you sure you're qualified for this? Totally, man, I'm totally qualified to teach you about stars. So he explains that he wants to be close to the beach because he wants to see the moon rise. And he's like, I might have to sacrifice a little just to make it happen to live here. Well, don't look at me. Caroline, I'm sacrificing you. Just kidding, Caroline.

Just kidding. Well, they do tend to sacrifice virgins. Can we talk about something else? When can you introduce me to Lewis? Stay half of him, bitch. He's mine. Well, Graham's going to struggle finding something that's close to the beach, giving the amount of money he has to spend, which is about $5.

So I'm going to take him to the hinterland and show him a great property in a town called Kulroy, where he'll last for about 15 minutes before having to go back to Seattle. So she's like, but there's good storage for him to accommodate his telescopes there. So they walked through the neighborhood. Caroline's hoping a combination of privacy and space and Kulroy will compensate for the reality that Graham simply can't afford an ocean front place to himself. and it'll also give him more space to entertain her when she comes over every day with the hot dish.

I also want to point out that I can afford an oceanfront place, so if Lewis wants to come by, I can teach him what it's like to be with the real woman. Who can pay for his lifestyle. Unfortunately, I heard that that ocean front is burning down and burning up the occupants inside. All right there, back off, Caroline. You're not supposed to be able to hear him.

Yeah, well, the property values are real cheap in Slotsville, population one. So they go check this place out and Grave's like, well, it's a little bit farther than I'd love. I mean, do I need a flatmate here? It's like, no, it's a two bedroom, ten house, two story, two bedrooms, one bathroom for you, one bathroom for me, another bathroom for our child. And I'll tell you one thing, I know you've worried about your flat. but I'm anything but. Check out these caves, sweet green.

It's like, all right, all right. I'm scared. Well, $1,000 per month. That's at the upper end of my max limit. Well, but it's in your budget. I hate when people do that. Your budget is $1,000. It's in your budget.

It doesn't matter if it's in the upper end of the lower end. It's in your budget. If it's too much, then it shouldn't be in your budget. Yeah, and Carol is, well, I think he's shocked that he's going to have to drive to the beach. He's really struggling to picture the village lifestyle. And so it's really going to taste him. So they walk in and it's a 10 minute drive to the beach. Oh my goodness.

10 minutes from the beach. I mean, you might as well just be living in Nepal. Exactly. I know. 10 minutes doesn't seem like a long time. But I feel like it's not really just 10 minutes. Nothing's ever just 10 minutes. Yeah, maybe not.

I think that it's a big lie. Yeah. So they walk in and it's a big unfurnished. space the big tile floor is everything and he's like uh where is the there's no furniture no but i'll be your table oh okay well are you a little surprised in your chair in your bed in your shower all right caroline it's getting a little weird now they ever rolled around around on a nice cool tile floor it's sort of sexy if you think about it try it out right now so she's like all right well you've got a little kitchen over there. It's like kitchen. Yeah. Okay, well, you know, I don't know about storage. Well,

there's a back area. Okay. Well, you know, it's a tough one because I didn't want to come here just to drive all the time. I want to be close to the beach, but, you know, I do get to be on my own. So I don't know. Yeah, so they go upstairs and they look at the bedroom and she's like, there's a lot of great storage. He's like, yeah, you know, yeah, they have the storage in the back. This is pretty cool. And you also have your own private balcony. You ever do it on a private balcony? You ever do it on a of the balcony. It's real sexy. Real sexy. All right, Caroline, listen, yeah, this is nice. I mean, I can look at the planets from the balcony, which is cool. I mean, to be fair, I could look at the planets from really anywhere in this neighborhood, but, like, it's even cooler from the,

from the balcony, I guess. So then they look at another bedroom and it's small. He's like, I don't love this one as much, you know, the other room is better. Make this room like the other room. That's not how it works. Okay. Well, I could have a desk there so I could coordinate people. That would be perfect. I could have an office space. And she's like, all right, let's go check out the bedroom. Look how it locks behind us. That's amazing. Here we go, taking off our shirts first. It's just let's get comfortable method. Let's get method with it. Hold on. Hold on. I'm trying to get into a sexy mood after I temporarily couldn't stop laughing after you said you needed office space. Okay, hold on. And I'm only again.

Talk about other things that you need. A printer maybe. Oh, God. Yes. hilarious. Have you ever laughed and climaxed at the same time? He's like, yeah, you know what? I like how I have my own space and there's tons of storage and there's a perfect balcony.

I love it. It's great for my telescope. Yeah, let me see his telescope. I hear it's a real grower and a shower. God. Oh my God, you could use a mower. All right. That's enough rhyming. It's enough wronging there. I'll put my pants back on. Jesus Christ. I know they call it the bush out here. Okay, that's enough. All right. So nice size shower, single vanity, toilet. Yeah, it's good.

So, you know, it's going over. He gets his own space. He gets storage. He keeps saying storage over and over again. You've got two telescopes. I think you don't even have more than one shirt, sir. Tim telescopes and a pair of Tivas, okay? You don't need storage. You're going to be fine. Find a container store. Okay. I know.

Well, it's a place to himself. The next spot is a place to himself that's as close to the beach as Graham can afford. But while it fits his budget, it won't fit everything he needs. Oh, well, if you want to talk fit, let me come to MoMA. All right. Okay. Well, well, everyone, life in Seattle is very different. Nine months of the year, it's basically raining, so you're inside a lot of the time.

But my parents are like not super big travelers. I mean, they told me there wasn't even another half of the earth. So, you know, I'm learning things. But they're the kind of generation where you go to school, you get a good degree, and you stay at that job for 40 years. And they were quite shocked when I said I wanted to go fly across the world and earn money looking at stars. Yeah. And so Graham is with his friend.

and they're slacklining. They fall off, you know, because it's graham. Yeah, we see the Chiron explains what slacklining is. Touted as a way to, touted as a way to improve balance, posture, and concentration. Slacklining is similar to tightrope walking, except idiots can do it too. Yeah, this is another thing, though,

showing imbalance on nothing, you know. It's like, whoa, whoa, and falling, you know, with his bros, his new bros. Yeah. So Graham is basically like, yeah, I got like some really cool friends here. And like, you know, they're like some of the things that like what I love to do. Like we slack line a lot. We also just slack around, you know. I love surfing, falling off the surfboards, getting chased by sharks. Sharks trying to bite me. Shark spitting me up and being like, ew, gross. And I'm like, really? I'm not even good enough for the shark. The shark's like, honestly, I've got standards. And I swim to shore and just laugh. You know, that kind of stuff. It's fun. Well, it's looking for something. close to the beach, but his money's just not going to get him there. So now we're going to another place. Welcome to Dunin. Everything I'm showing you today has two O's in it. Why? I don't know, but it does. Welcome to Dunin, which is about seven minutes to in Mundi and seven minutes to Nusiville. Okay. Now, Amundi does not have two O's, but it sounds like it does,

doesn't it? Sounds like it's got four. Those are actually used. So sorry about that. I broke the rule. But then it is also seven minutes to New Sidel, which does have two O. So we're back. You know what? You know, I was going to take you to you Monday, but I'd rather take you to I'm horny. Do you see what I did there? No. All right.

So the beach is about a 10 minute drive from here. Oh, I apologize. The beach was longer to the other place, but it's a 10 minute drive from here. Well, that's a bit far out of the beach. Yeah. How much was the other place? I don't know. I thought this, were they both just 10 minutes?

I followed you down that path. I conflated that one with this one. Yeah, because one is further from the beach. Yeah, that one was further. This one's the one that's only 10 minutes. Okay, so this one's 10 minutes. Yeah. So double O's.

That's all that matters. So this is a thousand. It's really nice. This one's really nice. It's like really cottagey, cute. It has a backyard that's like a little jungle. He doesn't need furniture. There's plenty of storage.

Or sunsets at night. Yeah. It's all great. And Graham's like, yeah, that works. And, you know, it's a little bit farther away. So, like, maybe there might be some light pollution. And she's like, yeah, those great sunsets and everything. And it's like, yeah, I wish you could have gotten me a spot literally right on the beach by myself in a little cottage.

I'm like, yeah, let me remind you that you are, your sole income is dragging a telescope to the beach. You're not going to get a cottage on the beach. So there's also a drum set. So that's nice because there's also like another child living here. I forgot about the drum set. So Caroline's like, yeah, well, the current tenant is a musician. And I think he goes on to it next week. So look at that.

It's like, I like it. I mean, I like what he's done with the space. I mean, the drum set, that's pretty cool. It doesn't have much storage space for my. t-shirt so I don't know but like it's cool and then he's like and this kitchen I mean nothing here's crazy big I'm like excuse me are you going to be serving having dinner parties here you are going to be on the beach surfing yeah yeah I guess and so I guess cooking dish washer and he's like I mean I guess that's cute there's three-quarter the normal size

she goes well it's just you then it's for now right all right let's look at the bathroom and laundry all right let's take off our clothes this see how this machine does. All right. We've got to practice on something. Yeah, let's just see if it, let's give all the clothes of spin. I guess that means we'll be naked.

And he's like, oh, yeah, no, well, this is cool. Yeah, this is cool. It's almost like a hybrid type of tiny house. It's like, no, it's just a tiny house. And it's really the best fit for you right now. And she's like, yeah. You've got some good storage. You got a great bench space.

Yeah, so you have a bench. So, Dain and So, Dien's sides is that it's, tiny upside there's a bench yeah bench heavy very heavy in bench so then um she's like you know i think he likes it it's beautiful it's not close enough to the beaches but you know what it's still great location for caroline gazing right so let's see if you'll take it so they they check out the bedroom you know he likes it okay but he's not totally excited he likes a hammock outside he lays in that and he's like i wasn't sure what to expect but it's definitely what i'm looking for in terms of being private, you know, no one will ever hear you scream.

What? And she's like, and by the way, it's a great place where you can, you can grow some herbs out there for your cooking. He goes, huh, don't you mean herbs? I have to remember that I'm in Australia and you guys pronounce it with the H. H. You know what H also stands for? Hornie. Get over here, my little parsley.

Sounds for only, all right? That's hilarious. Are you touching me? So then he's like, you know, I just wish there was more storage space, you know, for my telescopes and my surfboard and such. But I also wish it was closer to the beach. It was a little bit of a drive. God, 10 minutes. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

No closer to a decision despite Caroline's help, Graham is hoping that my future husband can offer some insight. Cut to Lewis and Graham talking. Graham's like, so, although it twisties or not, Lewis is like, nah, they just pop off. Oh, I guess they're opening up some bottles. I said, what, twisters? I was like, is this Australian lingo for some sort of like good deal on real estate? Say, you think these houses are twisters?

Yeah. So Graham's like, if you told me, well, my life would be like three years ago, it would be like, what? Three years? What's that? That's the thing? I'm running stargazing tours in three years. Boo-bo-bo-bo-bo-b-b-mo-bo-mo-bo-mo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-law.

In some far-off land called, what is it? Australia? That's not real. So the Mara Rader's like, well, now he's changing things up by moving to Australia's Sunshine Coast. I've got my car, my telescope, luckily, and there's a beach with clear skies. All I need is one gigantic penis to make it whole, and here's Lewis. But that last part is proving very tricky. So he's like, well, I saw the home in Cullum.

So obviously he likes that the first house is near the beach. And then the second one has storage and everything. But he winds up crossing that one right off the list because it's just too far. And he does not have room. He doesn't have, he cannot afford furniture. I mean, maybe he could like roll his put like a sheet over his telescope and use it as a couch. But it's just too expensive. So that one's out.

And then the third one, the one in Dune in. So that one is to me the obvious choice. It's a cute little cottage. 10 minutes to the beach is not a long. drive. It's really quick to get over there. It's really cute. He can live on his own. No rules. No roommates. It's pretty much

like it's the obvious choice to me. Yeah, but and it sounds like he's going to get it right. And he's like, you know, I just, I don't know. I'm taking the one that has share it with four people, bro.

Yeah, he goes, because Lewis is like, that's the best one. You should probably go there. He's like, absolutely. I got to live by the beach. I'm going to live with four people and a bunch of rules. Yeah. So he decides that to avoid rules, he's going to go live with, he's going to poop with four other people.

That's basically what he's saying. I mean, I did that. That's what I was doing when I was 27. I was living in the sharehouse in Brooklyn. So, you know, who am I to judge? I lived right above the pooper. I lived in a closet that we turned into a bedroom. It was a coffin that I had to crawl into.

It was like eight feet long. I fit a twin bed mattress in there and my little recording studio thing. And that's what I was doing at 27. And it was still fun. And it's like really like I'm like, why? I still have a hard time believing he wants, like he's a free spirit and he wants to live in a house with all these rules. Why on earth?

There must be some other factor. And then we see three months later and he's in the house. And this gorgeous woman, one of the roommates comes out. She's like, oh, hi, Graham. How are you? I was like, oh, okay, you're in a house with hot girls. You're the slacker in the hot girl house. You could have just said that and saved us an entire 30 minutes of our lives.

Well, yeah. And you're in a new place with young people to live with and become friends with. So, you know, ultimately, I think he probably did the right thing. I don't think people like him can be alone. No, he's definitely the person that lives in this. He's definitely the person you meet and he's really nice. He's like, yeah, you got to come over to the house. We're going to have a party.

You live with four other people. And you're like, what? And the next thing you're at this party, having a great time. Yeah. So he's in the pool Just making it look fantastic Salz and cleaned it So that's something

On his head And this is where we see him Giving the stargazing tour In the sunshine Which is, you know He's just a liar at this point He's like, you can't see it It's because you just started the sun

Gotcha! Okay, that'll be $50, thanks. The girl's like, Hi, hey, what's going on? How was last nine? He's like, oh, it was so good It was actually a perfectly clear skies last night. She's like, right.

I actually really don't care. You tell me that every single Good morning. We get it. Stars. Okay. Tell me about financial markets for once. Yeah, but he does it. He got his little sharehouse. So he seems like a happy little camper, guys. Everything's going great. So, you know, I'm not even confident that he really knows what the stars are. But he's doing it in this daylight. I think he's probably just pointing at things and saying Orion a bunch. Yeah, I think he just knows about three constellations. And he knows that the people on his door know less than he does. So you're just going to just aim it at things.

But good for him. It's going to have a happy life. So thanks everyone for listening. If you have a suggestion for Dwella Hello, just email us, watch what crapans at gmail.com. And please put Dwella Hello suggestion into the subject. And that way we will know we will see your email when we do searches for episodes to cover. Thanks again.

And we'll catch you the next one. Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye. Thank you.