Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #502: Hunters International: S111 E4: Fairy Tale in Nuremberg

Episode Date: January 17, 2025

A lady from Nashville packs up her best friend and thirty pounds of lipstick for a new gig in Germany. Will you find a place on the river? Or better yet, a place on a river full of lipstick?This is a recap of House Hunters International 110 E4 and we found it on Max. Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to dwell hello. This is a podcast about old things house hunters. I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Good. Welcome to the show, everybody.

Today's episode is House Hunters International. It's season 11, episode four, Fairy Tale in Nuremberg. And if you want to watch the episode, we went to Max to watch it, and we just searched fairy tale in Nuremberg in the search section, and boom, it popped right up. What do you think of that? It's amazing. Amazing what technology can do for you these days. Sure is. Now, we're in Nashville, Tennessee. The one thing that strikes me about Nashville is it similar to Austin in the way that's like musicy. It's more musicy now. I think Austin still has

a lot of live in Austin, and there's still a lot of live music and stuff. It's not as like, I don't know, keep Austin weird as it used to be because a bunch of tech bros moved in. But Nashville is still real like the city, rock and roll. And the only reason I say that is because it's one of those places that sounds great because there's music everywhere. It's not great music everywhere. Okay. There's a lot of mediocre music everywhere, too. There's a lot of great music, but there's also a lot of not great music.

And every time you go to a goddamn party, there's a guy with a fucking guitar singing. And I don't blame her for wanting to move because we open with this first scene and there's a guy sitting there playing guitar and singing at her party. Get out. Can I eat my, can I eat my mini weas? So awful. You know, the worst, the worst music that you hear in Nashville, Nashville is this song. Because there's always a bachelorette party going by on one of those pedaling bars. Girls all in pink being like, I'm my bachelorette.

I'd like to dedicate this song to Amanda's Bachelorette. Brandy, she's a fine girl. Wait a minute. It's Amanda's Bachelorette. Where are you playing Brandy? Shut up. That fucking bitch Brandy is always trying to up stage Amanda. What a good wife she would be.

One of my least favorite things is when people bust out a guitar at a party. Or people decide let's get on some instruments and start singing songs. Well, if I'm drunk enough, fine. If it's a Christmas party, that's fine. People are going to sing carols. But, like, be busting out of guitar and be like, I don't want to hear it. If I wanted to hear guitar music, I would go to a coffee shop or a concert.

But if I'm sitting here trying to talk about the real house, I was with my friend, and now I've got to stop because it's rude to ignore Keith, who got onto his guitar, I'm not going to be happy about it. Well, and that's what's happening now. And it looks kind of like a cult, because the guy's on a guitar. It's just a bunch of people with babies everywhere, swinging babies around, bouncing babies to the music. The baby's like, right?

She's a fine. It's Amanda's wedding, you fucking baby. Well, speaking of Amanda, Linda has this to say. Amanda's leaving her close-knit community in Nashville, Tennessee. When by close-knit, I mean losers playing guitars. For the career opportunity of a lifetime in Nuremberg, Germany. Let me see Amanda talking to a guy at the barbecue, and she's like, yeah, Nuremberg, it's over five.

thousand miles away and he goes yeah that's a lot of airline drinks tuts is your father printing no the printer is just you know i know it's not funny the printer just did that thing where it's like oh rolling over in bed you know i just saw the printer like a screen flash i was like what's happening and now the printer's like they don't mind me i thought someone was going to be playing guitar the little printer dog gets up and runs out of the bed and the printer's like it's not time to eat yet I was just stretching you sound like you speak from experience every fucking morning I can't if I wake up I'm like don't move the dog's going to jump out of the bag and start begging for food jump out of the bed and start running around the circles begging for food don't move yeah this printer is oh

it's downloading an update it's a firmware update that's why getting excited. Well, anyway, on the hunt for her new home, she's got lofty expectations. Not for her hair, of course. She's just doing that platinum thing. God, poor Amanda. Bless her heart. She's her best friend, Becky Lynn, because what else would she be named?

Knows that that's wishful thinking. And Becky Lynn knows the thing about wishful thinking. She's been trying to get into Godara Kai's pants for about six months now, and he's not biting. He always seems to ignore her when she gets drunk and throws a dollar at him and says, play the Macarena. He doesn't like that. This ain't a macaroni town, honey. Damn it.

Becky Lynn's like, damn it. So then the guitar band is still singing. And Amanda's like, look at me, holding a baby. Surely I can do this in Germany. I wouldn't. So it's not the same place. So I'll be like, get your hands off my baby. Oh my God, don't get hit on the head on the head with the side of,

don't get head on the side of the head with the pan from Germany. These things are made out of iron. Now was the time that we play guitar? And it's like, man, you're just organizing your drawers. That's right. Guitar is slang in German for organizing. Play in Germany means work. Play is our little joke because we don't play.

We only work. Time to work. Well, Amanda loves spending time with family and friends in Nashville, Tennessee. I mean, not enough. She's moving 5,000 miles away. I think here's what I want from the show, Truth. I want Amanda to just be crying and being like, I don't want a baby, and I'm surrounded by these little fuckers.

Every single friend that I've ever had is covered in snot and baby spew. I walk out. Get me out of here. But instead, they're like, God, she really just cares about family. That's all she cares about. And she's like hugging a little boy and he's like, I'm going to miss you. My mom says the town bicycle is leaving. Now, who is your mom?

Because I'm about to beat her up. I just want to say thank you to our net taker Shelby because this cracks me up. Because we see a little boy in glasses and transition lenses saying he's going to miss her. That detail is hilarious. We see a little boy in glasses. and transition lunges. So Amanda's like, yeah, here in Nashville, we spend a lot of time outside, just enjoying, grilling out, and it always ends with people getting their guitars out here in Nashville, doesn't it? So I was just looking to move away from guitars and babies, but going to Newenberg in my new role, it's a huge career opportunity, huge.

First, I worked at an office, and now I'm going to work in an office. Just get me the fuck out of here. I'll take $5 an hour. Amanda, welcome to your new role. Your role is you have to pull out to guitar and sing from us. Damn it, I thought I was getting away from that. So she's like, I'm going to be in charge of global product marketing. It's some unknown firm.

And we see, look, the printer. The printer's now doing the thing. Like, guys, my firmware is installed. Just want everyone to know. firmware is installed. Now, before I got to the company, printers were just silent. You had to choose when to do an update. But now printers tell you you're there.

And so you're always thinking about HP. Got me to Nuremberg. Got me to Nuremberg. This printer is going nuts over here. Can you hear it? The printer's like, do not make fun of me. I am German. I hear you making fun of my heritage.

So I have an object. How dare you? It is updating engine. Engine firmware. Oh, this is a big firmware update. It's getting all its parts lubed up and on the inside. So I'm going to be in charge of global product marketing, aka far away from guitars. And then we see Amanda and she's just with some women. And they're sitting on a couch and they're just playing with her hair. And she's like, so Amanda, tell us about Nuremberg. What's the town like. Can you tell us? Where is Nuremberg? Is that just like outside of Knoxville? Where is it? And she's like, well, I just ready have to walk everywhere, but I'm not sure about all those cobblestone. It's like, I don't know if these high heels are going to work on cobblestone. And we see her cheap pink heels, and it's kind of sad, but everybody laughs. I was like, wow, I thought that was a sadder moment.

Have I just become too cynical? So one of them was like, is there anything you're a lot nervous about? Cobblestone, she just fucking told you. And no wonder she's leaving this town. I know. She's like, well, I'm worried that it's going to be hard to meet people, given that I'm American and everyone else around me is German. Well, I'm a pretty social person, and I don't know anybody there. So I will absolutely miss my friends and my family a lot.

Please stop getting your goddamn fingerprints on my hair, okay? You just ain't belt-feated with your hands. Get them out of my hair, bitch. Okay. I have to really figure out how often I can go home because I really want to see these people more. And who wouldn't? I mean, I have little human needs. me finger combs in my hair all day long.

You know, it's going to be real hard being in Germany and being away from Keith when he plays his acoustic version of torn by Natalie and Brulia for the 45th time at a party. Did you hear me? No, because the project is a hugged. Now I was screaming at Beuling. He's not getting attention because I got up, so he thinks it's food time. You see what I'm telling you? I'm speak from experience.

And so now he's scratching the couch in revenge. both of our children are really acting up right now. Seriously. The sprinter, I don't know if it's like it's out of control. It really is. I hear it. I hear it's like, I'm a man now, mama. I'm a man.

It says it's complete. We'll see. Okay, Ronnie's yelling at Bueller again. He won't stop it. Like, he thinks he's going to, I'm starving him to death. So he's going to eat the couch. I mean, I don't know. Dogs.

So then we meet the Claudia, we meet the realtor. Real estate agent. Claudia Pinkart. Noamberg is a really amazing place. It's the second largest city in Bavaria. It's very charming with cobblestone streets, Sunstone Castle, and the people love spending the free time outside sitting in restaurants and pubs.

Look at it. Now, you know why they hired her, right? Lipsstick. Lipstick. No, what were your answers going to be? I was going to say it because she has mastered the rage smile, because she smiles the entire episode, but she has rage in those eyes.

She also has a rage ponytail, don't you think? Yeah, and she has like this, she has like a kind of periwinkle blazer, but then also like a scarfy thing. And she sort of looks like a realtor, but also like a flight attendant. And she just looks like she has no patience for this entire exercise. I feel like she's murdered a child. There's something about, there's something about Claudia that's like, you're scaring me. But she's very not, like she's lovely, but I just, I just feel like she's going to get mad and a child's going to. die. There'll be a quote-unquote accident. Hey, Amanda, come down to the cobblestone street in your

highest heels. It will be totally safe. And then all of a sudden, Amanda's like, split out on the cobblestone and like blood coming out of her head because she tripped. No, but here's why I think that they hired Claudia and felt like she would be a perfect fit because lipstick, all the ladies today are so obsessed with some weird, really bright lipstick and they put it on in like 10 layers. And it's all I can see in the whole episode. I'm like, Wow, they found three ladies who really just love crazy fucking lipstick. What can I say? I'm really into it.

Amanda may be fantasizing about her future in Nuremberg, but she's flying in her best friend who's no one's fantasy, and she's there for some level-headed support. Enter Becky Lynn. Oh, I've known Amanda for about 10 years. Left of her own devices, she'd go completely overboard and blow her budget. And right by her side, I know I can get her to stop. Look at this shirt. This cost me about $3 at the, you know, it was the, it wasn't a dollar store. It was the $5 store. So I still got a bargain.

Yeah, fuck you, $5 store. I got it at the Harris Teeter. I'm not going to lie. They were having a, they were having a contest to see who could eat at the most better cheddars in one minute. And I won. They gave him this t-shirt. Numpug. It's very attractive for unattractive people from all over the world. Don't ask me why. Homely people love to live in gorgeous places. So here we are. Wait a minute. Shut up, Becky Lynn. No one's talking to you. And unlike Becky Lynn's dating life, the rental market is very hot at the moment. So we see...

The real estate market goes up and down. Becky Lynn's love life, always down. Always done. Becky Lynn Love Life is like the divot between couple stones. So we see Amanda and Becky Lynn are meet Claudia. They meet Claudia in the streets of Nuremberg. And Claudia's like, So we don't have much apartments that we would need for all the clients.

So what are you looking for? Because we only have like three good places, and we don't usually like to give them to stupid Americans. Well, one bedroom's fine, but I really love to take a bath. So I just like a nice bathtub, preferably filled with lipstick. And I'd be a nice big balcony. That would be great. And a big living space, huge, because I love to have parties and have people over.

Do you have guitarists here? Only harpsichord. Good, good, thank God. Well, get a harpsichord, stand then. We have no guitarist, but we do have accordion and tuba. So Becky Lynn's like, okay, well, she needs to have space for parties because that's very important. She loves throwing parties because she's immature that Amanda. She hasn't grown up yet.

And Amanda's like, yeah, I just want to be in the middle of things. I'm really social and I love having lots of people around. And Claudia is like, that means you are looking for an apartment in city center. Okay, so here are all the nightclubs, the bars, the restaurants, the gorgeous people. Okay, you will not be let into these places, but you can bring a sandwich and eat outside and look through the window and see how the other 75% of us live. What do you call sandwiches in America, Josie Micas is? I don't know. So, she's like, so, so Amanda, of course, has this big.

list of everything she wants. City center, bathtub, balcony, blah, blah, blah, blah. And how much would you like to spend for this? She's like, um, I'd like to stay around $1,000 a month. It's like, oh, oh, oh, okay. Well, another option is that you can just throw yourself into that river over there and then just float on down to some other city that will accept such ridiculous proposals. $1,000 for all the things that you want.

Oh, gosh, you are hilarious. It's really hard job that you give me now. So hard. It happens to me a lot. Clients, they come with champagne taste and have only what you call it, weenie budget. I don't know. I'm just going off Becky Look. I'm just going off Becky Look Looks.

Yeah. You gave me a hard job, harder job than finding a man for Becky Lynn. So she's like, yeah, I have to really show them what they're going to get for what they're willing to pay for. Hold on. Spoiler a lot. Here it is nothing. So Linda is like, well, Claudia knows Amanda might not like the quiet neighborhood of house number one, but sex for Amanda, am I right, everyone? High five. High five. But for one thousand dollars downtown, my hats are tight. So we see a little acute neighborhood and stuff, and she tells us about it. She's like, St. Sebalt, which is the historical part of the town. Baud is also the only kind of man that Becky Lynn will get. I'm just warned. you now, I'm psychic.

This is the part of town that has Imperial Castle in the background, where guitarists are strictly forbidden, so I'm not sure Becky Lynn could be here. It is also world famous. Never heard of it. Shut up, Becky Lynn. It's beautiful, but you know what? I don't see any cafes or shops nearby. Where's the Starbucks?

Can I get a K-pop up in here? Unfortunately, there was. no Starbucks in 1235 AD. So sorry, you have to go elsewhere, Becky Lynn. Unfortunately, you just have to walk down the hill down. And then Becky Lynn's like, wait a minute, walking down a hill means having to walk back up a hill to get home. I barely walk from the parking lot to the target, all right?

Yeah, but it seems like you have no problem walking to marshals. So Amanda is like, hmm, I don't know if I like those hills. I mean, those heels are real. So it's a one bedroom with the bathtub. It has a little balcony facing the backyard and everything. It's small. This is a small, small house. It's a tiny, tiny house.

It's cute. I mean, it's fine. But it's also Europe. You know what I mean? I mean, it's fine. But the bathtub is teeny tiny. And Becky Lynn's like, I think she's trying to make the best of the situation, which I love about her. but this ain't where she had mine.

When she said she wanted a living room, she wants a living room. Okay, she wants a bad dog. Come on, what are we doing here, Germany? Are you apologizing to us yet or not? You know, there are living rooms that are much bigger, but the price of the monthly lease would be much higher. So until you are actually living in the real world

and willing to spend more than $1,000 on your apartment here in Nuremberg, you're not going to get a large living room, you stupid fucking idiot. And Amanda's like, well, we have a balcony, so let's go see that. Oh, wow, look at that. It is so nice to sit out and have your... I'm so glad she didn't say coffee because literally every person on the show goes, A balcony, I can sit out there and have my coffee. Just like my papa had it in the house we had growing up.

Yeah, but she doesn't. She's like, wow, it's really nice to sit out and have your flowers. I was like, what? I prefer coffee. And I can see some potential for sure. Or let me guess. We are guessing the things that men never say about Becky Lynn. Unfortunately, there is a city ordinance that there is no bad bleach jobs allowed on public balconies.

They'll have to stay inside. So they look at the bathroom and it's teeny tiny and the bathtub is way too tiny for Amanda. It's like a whole, it's so narrow this room. And so they're like, no. They're like, it's basically, it's a shower with a sink in it. So, you know, Claudia's like, my father designed this apartment, you guys can both die now. Well, listen, there's a lot of good things about that apartment. I love the balcony.

I can eat fireworks out there. Oh, and it's just so nice. I love that it's near a castle. Oh, my God, I've been kidnapped. I'm at the top of the castle. Mario, come and get me. I just would like to elaborate for Becky Lynn that it is just a regular castle. not White Castle, before she gets too excited.

Becky Lynn is already counting her nickels. So Amanda's like, I just, I want to see some places with nice or bathrooms, you know? And Becky Lynn's like, yeah, and more of a social scene for you to hang out with and not talk to me again as usual every time we go to a party. Well, it's right on, but so, but it is right on budget. It's $1,000 a month. And she said we might not find something in that budget for your wish. list. I mean, come on, it's good. And Becky Lynn's like, well, I think she would rather up her budget and start crossing things off her list, but raising her budget is going to cut into the fun

time. Okay? And that's not the Amanda that we know. I mean, if you tell an Amanda, hey, Amanda, you're going to have a mansion, but you can never afford to go to Golden Crowell. Well, you know what she's going to do? Right in the goddamn streets. That's what. You know, our Amanda, she just loves a fun time. Anywhere she goes, she says, I want to be in the funest place of all the fun times. and that's why she came to the fun capital of the world, Nuremberg. So now they're walking around, and Amanda's like, you know, there is an expat group that meets here. Oh my God, we never liked that girl. Why would you want to find another whole group of girls that are all named Pat?

Okay, Becky Lynn, you really need to get out of the house more. She's like, I can't help it. Mama needs help. So, anyway, it means. means they used to be named Pat. Get it right, Becky Lynn. Well, I can see why they changed their name. That girl was a real bee. Being so far from home, you know, I'm a little bit nervous about meeting new people, especially if I have to bring Becky Lynn around them.

But, you know, in Nashville, I have a great group of friends and Becky Lynn. So I want to be close to everything in the city because I want to be able to meet people. She's like, yeah, Becky Lynn, I just want to be in a fairy tale. Get better shoes. You know, I have a very, you know, Amanda has a very luxurious outlook on life, on the place she wants to live. But her social life and going home to see her family, that's super important to her. You know, she just really can't wait to come back and mainly see me and my mama. She's not doing so well.

So then we see them going to house number two. And Becky Lynn thinks house number one makes practical sense. It's basically a structural version of Becky Lynn's cotton top. Tasteless, but at least it covers your nipples. And though Amanda loves the balcony, she's just not willing to settle. So, sorry, Becky Lynn. I know you've heard that a lot this week. We do have a ticket available for you on Spirit Airlines.

No settling. That goes for us to. We brought into our sister to play your part for the rest of the episode. So Amanda's like, well, it would diff, I'd be willing to go over the budget for an officer bathroom and to be close to the social scene. How about that? Show me some big budget. All right, Claudia. And Claudia's like, the rental market here is very hot and her expectations don't meet the price that she wants to pay.

Sorry, stupid. With House 2, Claudia aims to get Amanda in the middle of the action for just a little bit more than her budget. So then we see this map. And the map is funny because they've animated Amanda. Amanda and Becky Lynn on the map and they're just like their little feet are did you see that their little Yeah. Do they do that every episode? No, they've added that.

That's like a new thing where they've added animation now on top of the map. And it's so funny. They just show them walking like very slowly and only their feet are animated. It's just like a still shot and then they animated their feet going up and down. But then when we come back to them, they kind of walk like that. I was like, am I being tricked? So they approach house number two and Becky Lynn's like, wow, I could say. you living in a place like this.

Holy moly, guacamole. You're right across the street from a place that sells french fries. Does I call chips? Whatever. Are there any hills nearby? Because we need to get to Starbucks. So it's one bedroom. It's $1,100 per month.

So it's $100 over the budget. And they walk in and Amanda is like, wow, everything in here is so why? Welcome to Germany. me welcome to Becky Lynn we've worked very hard to keep it this way so they there's it's actually like it's better than the first place it's definitely bigger but the kitchenette is small and the sink is like this shallow little tin sink and they're like that's like an airplane sink are we on an airplane because as far as I can tell we got the sink right here and the stewardess right there excuse me this is realtor uniform

take that back well nightlock you're going to be cooking anyway uh be baking Amanda. Shut up, Beckleyland. I mean, this would be even difficult to wash wine glass in. That is my dinner. Yeah, well, we know you don't cook anyway because you're not a real woman. Okay, a real lady from Nashville knows how to cook her man. I think, Beckett, you'd be quiet until you get a man.

You can't talk about what one does for a man, okay? Sorry, I'm Freeman. Americans really having lots of arguments, yeah. I didn't think the sink would unravel them so much. So they'd like a lot about it. The bathroom is nice and has a big window, but there's no bathtub. And Claudia, it's like, the shower is not bad for you. You are lucky it is not horse.

We save horse for Becky Lynn. So, yeah, it's, I think it's fine. I mean, that's just a job. I used to work with a bunch of Germans, and I remember at a restaurant called Pump Duck in Circumstance. It was like a traveling circus tent thing in New York. and they were so funny that I've told you about them before they used to tell me still a fatso like they're just so blunt and one time I was she's like do you like the staff meal and I was like I don't really like it that much today and she goes this is fine for you

and just walked off that's what Claudia is like she's like oh you need bathtub shower is fine for you that's all you get so Amanda does like it she's like I love this place And she's like, it's like living in a hotel. And Becky Lynn says, and it's super close to your budget. So I'm a fan of that because I care about your budget most of all. But Amanda says, but I really want that bathtub. And I'd really like to see if something has all of these things. If I could get everything on my wish list, what would it cost me?

Do I have to sacrifice Becky Lynn? I'll do that for a good apartment. Oh, you're going to sacrifice something worthless? Thank you so much. Do you have any crumper-up used paper you would also like to sacrifice? Coming up, Amanda finally gets her wish, and I get my wish. No, I don't. Just kidding.

I still have to watch Becky Lynn on this show. Pay day. So she's like, wow, she's going to get her wish, but its price will take a bite out of her budget. Dun, dun, done. And so we see them coming up to him. Becky Lynn's like, oh, my God, she's going to be living in the castle. So now they are with some... So there was a guy from the expat group who is clearly into Amanda, but not so into Becky Lynn.

This is a dynamic that I'm sure has played out many times with these two girls where Amanda ditches Becky Lynn because there's a guy. So he's sort of following them around. And Linda's like, Amanda's trading her full social life in Nashville for the chance to further her career. in Nuremberg and maybe get some D with the XP. So they go check out the Nuremberg Castle, and the narrator's like, okay, she's trading her dreams to come to Nuremberg, Germany. She dreams of finding a new circle of friends from a palatial apartment in the middle of the social scene without a naggy cotton lady, cotton-wearing lady knocking on her door and trying to take up all of her time every single day. But after checking out two properties in the city's competitive market, Becky Lynn is still annoying. So Amanda knows she can't have the fairy tale she wants, especially if Becky Lynn's there, close to her budget.

So we're going to try something else. So now Becky Lynn's like, Amanda's a little crazy. I mean, upping her budget isn't really reasonable. She would have no money to go home and see her family. Maybe she should just stay in Nashville in the first place with me and mama. Amanda's like, yeah, I'd definitely be willing to go on my budget for a nicer bathroom and to be close to the bars and the restaurants and the social scene. Oh, it's so exciting.

House 2 takes Amanda slightly over budget, but gets her closer to the action. Let's look at that again. What, no top! What am I a monster? So, after checking out two properties in the city's competitive market, She knows she can't have the fairy tale. Let's see what she thinks of this place. House number three, Claudia is certain of one thing.

They're both going to still be wearing terrible lipstick. Amanda, Amanda will fall in love with this apartment, but I'm not so sure she'll be able to pay for it. And we find out, well, we go to a coffee shop, and we find out house number three is a one-bedroom. It has a big living room, a bath of a balcony. it is actually really nice, and it's $1,400 a month. So it's $400 above her budget, which I think she can do this.

That's substantial. No, I mean, if you're on a fixed salary, I mean, you know how much you can spend. I mean, were you going to come up with an extra $400 a month? She's like kind of global product, something, another with a corporation. She can pay for the $1,400 a month. Do you think? I don't know. 100% she can.

Well, I don't know. Coming up with an extra $400. is hard. I mean, what's she going to do? Like, have an only lipstick account? I made my $400 by guys jerking off to all my crazy lipsticks. So Becky Lynn is not happy. She's like, you're over budget. I'm obsessed with your budget. So they go and see it. And Becky Lynn is like, Amanda's a little crazy for thinking she can afford this place. She's going to have to cut money from somewhere. And to think that she's going to cut it from going home to see her family. I just don't see that happening. Because if there's one thing that we want

from Becky Lynn is that she needs to be able to go home and see her family. I'm like, if she wants to see her family so badly, I don't think she'd be moving to Nuremberg. She's purposely asking for a more expensive place so she doesn't have an excuse, so she has an excuse to not come home and see your ass. I mean, you can read it all over this girl's face. I mean, what's she going to do? Leave a guitar guy up for grabs? Actually, take this apartment. Take this apartment. I finally got a Fucking chance. Yeah, did you not see the guy with a flat iron hair singing that singing his guitar at the top of the episode? Amanda is getting out of Nashville.

Okay? Yeah, hell yeah. She won't have her family come here. No, she won't do that either. She's just gone. Okay? She will not see her anymore. That's done.

But she will send you postcard saying, have you ever heard a schnitzel? It has changed my life. I'm not even kidding you. Dear mama, they have the craziest lipstick out here. If you outer lipstick, you know what they give you a schnitzel? They think, and what you have to do is you have to cut a hole in it and you put it on your face and those are your new lips. I mean, it's just so natural. I gave myself a pedicure with a pretzel today.

I don't even have to have a car. What they do is they give you a giant beer style with wheels and you just sort of pedal that down to the job. Now, listen here, Amanda, I'm supposed to be the voice of reason and keep you in check and you're on your own right now. I mean, you've gone off the deep end, girl. She goes, oh, yeah, right. Well, maybe I'll need to ask you for more money, okay? You better start staving up from that piggly-wiggly, all right, because I'm going to need you to send it to some mob,

getting new pair of shoes. So, she's like, well, we should go to the pub, you know, and that way we can see what house to get. And Becky Lynn's like, well, if you go for this part, you won't have enough money to go to the pub anymore. So. Relax, Becky Lynn, okay? Just enjoy the other place to crash in Germany.

Yeah. And so they check out the place. There is a balcony, and it can see the river and the castle. And it's amazing. It's amazing, you guys. And there's a big open living space. And they talk about that pub some more. And Amanda thinks the cabinets are dated.

Honey, is all dated. It's Germany. Look, look around. The walls are dated. The floor is all. are dated. Everything is dated. The only thing not dated here is Becky Lynn. God bless her heart. God bless. Yeah, this is all built like 5,000 years ago. Okay. So Amanda is like moving to Germany. I want the entire experience. I want to be in what, I just want to know what feels like to be in a fairy tale.

But without the annoying step sister, sorry, Becky Lynn, you're going to have to go. Anyway, this apartment is like that. This is like a fairy tale apartment. So she's like, this is so nice, Claudia. And Becklin's like, there is a problem. We know. Her name is Becky Lynn. Well, I'm just saying it's way over your budget, okay? Oh, God. All I can think about is balcony, bathtub, another balcony, a bathtub, a balcony.

Yes. Prince Charmin giving me a bath on a balcony. The neighbors call the police because I'm naked on the balcony. Why am I prison? And why didn't anybody speak English? I'm terrified Becky Lynn. Come get me. You don't have enough money left in your budget for me to get a plane ticket.

I'm dying. You know, I just really have to weigh out the pros and the cons. Pros, this place is beautiful. Cons, Becky Lynn is in it. Okay, well, I think that makes a decision easy. We'll get rid of Becky Lynn and I'll take the apartment. You know, as much as I love this place, I don't know with that I want to sacrifice seeing my family as much as I could. Wait, hold on one second.

Yeah, I don't really like my family. family. Do you? Not really an issue anymore. Let me just take a moment and stare at my screensaver of my family. God, those people are ugly. How did I luck out looking so good? I'm not ever going home.

Hey, let's look at my wish list checklist. Okay, house number one. Social scene X. Bathtub check. Balcony check. On budget, check. Becky Lynn, two standing too close to me.

X. House two does not have this. It does have the social scene, but nothing else. And house number three does not have the on budget part, but it has everything else, guys. And by the way, Shelby, again, I keep bringing you up. But wow, this checklist is amazing formatting. So then Amanda and Becky Lennner at the pub. And Amanda's like, down to business.

What is it that you do again? Shut up. It's better than you, okay, Mr. Never Leaving Homenberg. Okay. So let's go over this. I got to make a really big decision. I got to figure out where to live. and I gotta do it fast, girl.

Amanda's giving up her full, her life, full of family and friends and annoying guys playing guitar at parties when no one asked them to for a new job and future in Nuremberg, Germany. I'm sorry, I didn't feel like that was an honest enough read. Let me try again. Amanda's giving up her life of homely family members, deadbeat men, and babies that were most likely accidents

to come to Nuremberg. Good luck to her. Amanda's giving up her life full of annoying family members, driving Becky Lynn to get a manny-pity and then taking her to the Harris Teeters, that way she can get some sort of new calendar that has a kitten on it that she likes, and things like that to come to Nurember. Well, I don't even know how I'm going to live without you, Becky Lynn, but at least you got to come and help me with the first part. Okay. Now, when you're done carrying my suitcases, please delete my number out of your phone. Well, she got storybook ideals for her new home, but Becky Lynn knows if she doesn't make a sensible choice, she can't afford the life she wants.

Well, Go ahead. I was just going to read the line. No, you go ahead. Go ahead, Bacon, Liam. Up and her budget isn't really reasonable. Okay, she'd have no money to go home to see her family. She'd be to come home.

All right. Let's start with the castle apartment. Okay. Now, I love that it's your budget. Budget, budget, budget. I mean, I want you to, I want you to think what everybody chanted at my wedding as I walked down the aisle. Budget, budget, budget. Oh, Becky Lynn, that's so sweet of you to pretend that you had a wedding.

Anyway, you may remember that was at the top of the hill. If you want to get Starbucks, you have to go down a hill and up a hill. So just think about that, Becky Lynn. She's like, oh, that's right. Cross it off the list. Well, I didn't love the location. Okay, let's go to House number two in Nuremberg. Okay, it's a heart of Nuremberg.

I did love that neighborhood. You know, I just loved it. I mean, it didn't have a balcony. That wouldn't great. Didn't have a bathtub. Ooh, gross. Oh, God. I mean, if I'm going to go over my budget, then I want it to be perfect.

I want it to be in the center of town. I want it to have a balcony, a bathtub, the coffee shop, a pub. I mean, it's perfect. Does I have a McDonald's? Okay, well, nothing's really perfect, Becky Lynn, but just come with me on this one. But that's $400. over your budget. That's $400 that you can't spend and go at home to see your family, your family misses you. I'm not even part of it, but your mom just cries every single day.

She says, I've got no one to watch reruns and just shoot me with. It's not fair. You've got to see your mama. Nothing beats actually going out and enjoying the town and meeting new people, what you're not going to do if you're cooped up in your apartment that costs too much money. So we see all the houses, and they eliminate. the first one, obviously, because it was terrible. And then Becky Lynn is like, yeah, I just don't see how that one's going to work for you. You have no money. And Amanda's like, I don't know how people do that bathroom situation.

So basically, she decides to go for the big one, the one that's over her budget, which made me happy because I love when people go over their budget on this show. Yeah, I do too. And I love that she's like, who cares? I don't need to. It's going to come from somewhere. It is going to come from somewhere. I'll find that money. I'll make it up somehow.

And, you know, she's going to start Netsi. No. Yeah, she'll get the guys to buy her drinks, all that stuff. You know, she'll be fine. She'll be fine. She'll start braiding my cornstalk care and selling it on Netsi or something. But, you know, good for her. She's super happy with it.

And she's like, you know, it's the hardest part. But ultimately, I have to be happy here. And I want some comforts of home. Pia, a guitar got. Fuck off, Becky Lynn. Stop trying to ruin this for me. Speaking of comforts of home, I think that maybe you need to remember your comforts at your home. So, bye, Becky Lynn.

So then we see later, we see the new apartment. And it's funny because at the end of these shows now they do like, oh, now here's what it looks like with them living in it. Or like, here's how they've decorated. And it's like, shooop. Terrible beige couch. Shooop. Another terrible beige couch. I was like, well, you know, she reserves all the lipstick for her face in the

relationship with her apartment. Yeah. She has friends over. She has the realtor there. And she's like, you know, I still love going out. Don't get me wrong. But I definitely had to adjust my finances. So, you know, having people over is easier. Plus, also, I don't cook anymore. I just eat my lipstick. But, you know, it tastes good. You get used to it after a while. Well, it's interesting because she's like, you know, I just can't, I do spend more so I can't go out. So I just have everybody over here. And then we see that she's like made a ton of food for people. Isn't that more expensive? Is it a different over there? Yeah, and she's like, hey, do you all like the food?

And this lady goes, it's very nice. Stupid fuck. What does she try to fucking poison us? It tastes like crack. What is all for food? So anyway, thanks, Alison King, who gave us the recommendation for that episode, super fun. And if you have recommendations for Dwell Hello episodes, go email us at watchwork crapans at gmail.com and say in the subject header, dwell hello suggestion.

Thanks, everyone for listening, and we will catch you on the next episode. Bye, everybody. Bye. Well, hello.