Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #505 Strangers Search For Paradise

Episode Date: February 27, 2025

This week on Dwell Hello, two girls who don’t know each other try to find a house together in St. Thomas. What could go wrong? This is a recap of House Hunters International S112 E13 Strangers Search for Paradise and we watched it on Max.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello, and welcome to Dwell Hello, House Hunters podcast. I'm Ben. That's Ronnie. What's going on, Ronnie? How are you today? Hi, how are you? I am fabulous. I'm excited to talk some house hunters today.

Today's episode, of course, I just had it right in front of me and now it's gone. Strangers Search for Paradise. This is House Hunters International. we watched it on Max. So the easiest way to find it is just to type in, strangers search for paradise. And you can watch it there. Now, if you have a house hunters episode

that you saw House Hunters or Househunters International or heck, you know, we haven't done a Househunter's tiny house in a long time. I don't know if they even still do those. But as long as it's available. What'd you say? I think we've only done one in all time. Yeah, that guy in Palm Springs, I think.

thing. So if you find one, as long as it's on max and available to watch, just make sure it's not behind a paywall in terms of like, you know, you have to like rent it or something like that. Then just message us, email us at watchwra crappins at gmail.com and put in your subject, dwell hello suggestion. And we will hopefully recap it right here. So we've done more than one tiny house because I remember we did that one with a family with like three or four children and the dad was like in a band or something. Yeah, they wanted to go and live in the parking lot of the Walmart while the dad played.

Was it wasn't like a Winnebago or something like that? They want they had like an airstream trailer or something. Yeah. We've actually done so many of these at this point. It's kind of wild. Like we've seen we've really like and I remember almost all of them. They all they they're all ridiculous in so many different ways. Yeah.

Well, this one is special because this one is a little different than what we're used to. This is two girls who met online to do a sharehouse with themselves in St. Thomas. Shea and Nicole come from completely different worlds. One of them looks like she's drugged out on bentos, and the other one has worried face at all times. Hi, I'm from Georgia. I'm from Georgia. That's Nicole. And then she is like, and I'm from North Carolina. and then we have their real estate agent who's like, and you just met right now? But an online search,

he's like, what the fuck? But an online search for a flatmate on the U.S. Virgin Islands has brought this unlikely pair together for better or worse, much worse. Oh, so you're looking for a space for two complete strangers? That's going to be difficult.

I'm up to the task. I just hope that they are. So, Shea, the worried one, is like, um, I sold everything that I have to move here. She always looks like she's about to start crying. She's like, I sold everything. I was like, what did you have?

Jay. She's like, I sold like five used notebooks and a pair of roller skates. My favorite trapper keeper with an elf sticker on the front. And then Nicole, Nicole is, I'm just going to say it. Nicole is awful. I hate Nicole. She has no personality. I think the reason why I have such a bad reaction to her is because I feel like I have

been stuck talking to Nicole at a party one-on-one for way too long. Like I've, she's the sort of person that you, she comes along attached to someone and you're talking to that person and that person goes off to the bathroom and then you're stuck talking to Nicole. And Nicole has no personality and she's not interesting, but whatever glimmers of personality that you do see are not good. And so you're just like, ugh, why am I stuck talking to this person? I just can't wait to like, like how do I escape this conversation?

There's a better conversation over there, but how do I get out of this without being a total dick about it? You know? Yeah. Well, she's very clearly like a daddy's girl type, you know, who gets everything that she wants. And, you know, she's with this girl, Shea who's like, I wouldn't say dorky. Like, she's not dorky, but Nicole is like a Texas, like, stereotype, you know, she's like a Southern girl stereotype where she's just this thin, pretty blonde girl.

who wears like bright colors and carries around a little tiny dog so she can be like Paris. And she just gets everything she wants at all times. And you know that she's looking at, she's looking down on Shea the whole time. You know, she just know she is. You can see it in her face. And it's just kind of sad. Like I want Shea to escape. I don't have really a problem with Nicole.

I know a lot of girls like Nicole. But I just want Shea to do better. I think Shea needs to go to like a pottery class or I don't know. She needs to meet women elsewhere. that are not here. Yeah. I think that with Nicole, it's like she's doing the like spoiled girl thing, but without like the fun attitude that gets to come with it. Like she's not, her attitude is not like really very snotty.

It's just bland. And she's and she just sort of is like she didn't ever cultivate a personality. She just exists. But she also is sort of. She's blonde. That's she's like blandly. Yeah. She's like blandly assertive with her perspective in a way that I just like, if you're going to be assertive,

at least have. It's the personality behind it. But like to be it to do it so blandly, it really bothered me. Well, she's also doing this like whole daddy's girl thing, but she didn't really win the daddy race because she's wearing like very simple like dress barn cotton. Yeah. Like, well, I don't know. I don't, you know, I'm kind of with you on her. I'm turning against her now.

I'm gonna force my agenda. Well, because she's not like, I don't think she's like that. She might be upper middle class, but I don't think she's super wealthy because she said she sound like she was working. some nine to five job in Atlanta that was kind of like a dead end job. So she had to like, she had to join the workforce. So she can't be a total rich girl, right? Well, I don't mean rich.

I just mean like daddy's girl. Like she gets everything she wants, you know. It doesn't have to be rich, apparently the cotton. But so we see sneak peeks of the show and stuff. And it's basically this girl browbeating the, you know, not blonde girl to get everything that she wants. So she tells us, she's like, I'm originally from Western Salem, North Carolina, and I moved to Charlotte to go to college, and I love the city.

But, yeah, have you seen any shows that take place in Charlotte? Okay, so, yeah, I had to make a change. Yeah. So I accepted a jewelry company job down here. I'm going to be making jewelry that's going to say help. Everything just says help. Just, you know, seashells, seashells on string for the rest of my life. Pooka shells.

I'm really into Bucca shells. But yeah, that's what I'm doing down there. And then we go to Nicole and she's like, my day-to-day life in Atlanta is I sit in traffic to go to a 95 job and then I come home and then I do it again. And I'm just looking for more. I've always wanted to live in the Caribbean

or anywhere that was in Atlanta. So I got a remote job. I'm literally selling remotes on the island because people don't have them on their TVs and I'm going to be doing it all over St. Thomas. And you can tell, and I have this daddy's girl thing going in my head, because you can tell that her dad took her on a cruise there once, because all she wants to do is look at cruise ships. Everybody else who wants a view is not going to want, it's like moving to New York and being like, can I get a view of Times Square? Who wants that?

Even with jobs lined up, the island is too expensive to make it alone, especially if you have some sort of quote unquote jewelry job. and whatever Zoom thing Nicole's doing. Yeah, and Nicole's like, Shea posted an ad online saying that she needed a roommate and we felt that we should be a good fit for each other, mostly because she's a push-over and I can get everything I want. Yeah, and Shea's like, and for me, I have learned the value of research,

researching people that you are going to live with. We will now. So she's like, oh my God, that dog is this the infamous Lottie? Nicole's like, yeah, it's my little like arm candy dog. And we see this dog. This dog, I swear to God. Where's Delorese? This dog is like touched.

This dog is so close to being an angel. It's very, very close. It's standing on the precipice. Well, we, Deloresse is no longer with us, but I do believe that the white lady on that show. Yeah. What's her face? Roma Downey, whatever her name was. What's her name?

Yeah, Roma Downy. Uh-huh. She's still with us. she can touch it. So Nicole's like, Lottie is my 10-year-old daughter. She's excited to be an island girl. And I'm bringing down like the Pierce Island ride. I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know what I mean. Words. So she's and Nicole, of course, drives exactly what we all think she does, a teal jeep. And she goes, are you sure this is yours? And she's like, yeah, pretty right? It's my dad's

favorite color. She's like, mm-hmm. She's just like, mm-hmm, great. It's just so funny how she has such like, sort of ostentatious shows of personality without actually having a personality, a teal jeep, a little doggy that has like bows in its hair and all this stuff. Like, you expect it to be Jennifer Coolidge, but it's just Nicole. So Shay's like, oh, here's my personality. I like teal. I'm wearing a teal breast. I have a teal Jeep and I like a teal living room that we see in a minute. So.

She's like, so we're going to be like the TL Jeep people in the street. Everyone's going to be like, oh, there goes that teal jeep, aren't we? We're going to be those people. This is like the cyber truck of St. Thomas right now. So Alexi tells us about St. John, or St. Thomas. It's one of the most demanded destinations under the U.S. flag is very small. 31 square miles population of about 50,000 people. can't do math. That's 49,000 people who are more interesting than the girl from North Carolina.

And then, Shay is like, so where exactly are we on the island right now? He's like, well, right now we are literally in the middle of the island, as you can tell, by the fact that every view shows ocean equally far away. But this is where the cruise ships come in. And so it's broken in two halves. The north side is the Atlantic side. It's much cooler. In the east end. And the south side is the Caribbean side. It's a lot hotter. It's where everything's going on. A lot of bars, a lot of restaurants. Nicole's like, I want to be where the action is. Yes. When I saw Nicole, I was like, this girl just wants to be out there and socializing and showing off that great personality of hers.

Wow, look at her. What a go-getter. So she's like, well, I'm hoping to find something on the north side because that's where my job is. And, you know, I'm just nervous. We're not going to agree because, you know, like, we have different views. You know, I have the view of me and she has a view. I mean, I don't know. Is she on something?

Is she on something? Can you guys tell? Can someone put their finger under her nose and see if there's any breath coming out? Because I just... I mean, I kind of feel like I'd like to be on the north side because it's close to my job. And I was the one who kind of, like, invented this whole episode because it was my decision to move down here. And I said, who wants to live with me? And it wasn't like, where can I live?

Who can live with me? I'm making, I should be calling the shots, but that's okay. It's fine. I can live with a teal jeep and far away from my work. That's great.

So he has what kind of place they're looking for. And she wants a two bedroom place and she's okay with one bathroom. She literally doesn't care. She's living her dream. And then Nicole's like, I don't even know about one bathroom. I might need to have my own. But also I need a good view

preferably as something that weighs thousands of tons and puts out a lot of pollution and maybe causes global warming. Maybe like cruise ship? Cruise ship. Exactly. Do you have a Chili's anywhere that I could just stare at? He's like, well, the island is in very high demand. For the entire island of St. Thomas, there's only five condos for rent.

Well, asterisk. There's like about 45 condos to rent, but only five that will rent to someone with so little personality. So before we start looking for this mission impossible place, What is the budget? 2,200 max. And Nicole's like, yeah, I understand where you're coming from, but I'm willing to be flexible if we have the perfect home. And you know, Shay is like, I don't have money.

Yeah, Nicole's like, I can spend more money because this is my dream. I don't give a fuck what your dream is. Go back to bed. Okay. This is the real world. You can't just find someone online and then start making her pay more money. No man. Yeah.

may be your dream, but it's her listing. So Alexi's like, okay, I look for, looking for a space for two complete strangers is going to be difficult, but I'm up to the task and I just hope that they are. Also, there's only five choices, so it's pretty easy. They have to choose one. So Alexi's first choice for the girls is the second floor apartment in a great location in between the north and the east end. Some would call that northeast, you fucking idiots. Who's riding this bullshit? Two bedroom, two bathroom, two thousand a month. So it's under budget. And so Shay love She's like, I'll move in. I'll just move in. You know, I don't care. I'll sleep on the floor. And she's like, you know, he can keep showing us houses that are under budget. Love that about him. Sounds perfect. And Nicole's like, oh my gosh, the living room matches my dress. It's teal. Question. If I change my dress, did the living room change also? So then everything is very, very teal and blue teal, teal. It's it's kind of like a gross. It's gross. It's like, it's like, I guess I know Island Living, there's a lot of tiling like on the floor.

That's kind of part of it. But it's just like. But it's not cute. You know what I mean? It's ugly. It's like the cheapest shit at Home Depot. It's like the builder's great. It's gross.

It looks like it hasn't been cleaned. The kitchen counter is really thin. And then it's got floor tiling on the kitchen counter. And it's just, it's just gross. The whole place is gross. And they do that thing where they just paint walls different colors to make it more interesting. But like clean it. You know what I mean?

That would make it better. So they're trying to make the best out of it, especially Shea. And they look at one bedroom. It has an amazing view. It is a nice view. And Nicole's like, it's beautiful, but it's not really the view that I'm looking for. I'm looking for more boats, you know, cruise ships, you know. I want a boat so big that just has, you know, the thing that Shea's going to be for the rest of her life.

I wanted to say Virgin. Do you have that? I also love this girl. This is my favorite thing on House Hunters International. Someone who has like basically no job or a nominal job moves to an exotic locale and expects to have beachfront beautiful views for like $300 a month. No, you're getting the trees and you're getting a sliver of ocean and that's what you get. Sorry. Yeah.

Yeah. And so she's like, I don't really need much space. I don't know about you. She's like, I do. The room's too small. Like, I'm really confused on what Shea wants. Like, I hope that we can figure this out as we go. Like, get some taste.

So, he's like, all right, here's an unsuit. So it has its own bathroom. So take a look. And Shay is like, oh, it's bigger. Yeah, it's definitely a decent size bathroom. You know, whatever. And then they look at another bedroom. And they're just like looking, they're just like looking around.

And Nicole is like, I'll take the room with the view. No, bitch. No, you will not. This is Shay's. I'm sorry. Shea gets priority, if you ask me. Shea initiated this entire process. You are going to get the sofa, Nicole.

That's what you get. So the realtor is like, yeah, this is going to be a challenge. I think Nicole's a little more high maintenance. It's also possibly not living. I don't know. And she is very, you know, practical. She could use a little Botox just to get the worried look off her face. But, you know, man, keep your wife happy.

That's what I say. But unfortunately, no one is the wife. here. I don't know what to do. Yeah, that's one of my favorite lines, but I don't know how to use it in this situation. So they go to the living room and, you know, it's just kind of like generic. It feels kind of like a shitty Airbnb, right? And he's like, look, amazing living space. And she's like, yeah, it's cute. It's very cute. It's under budget. When it's under budget, everything's automatically cute. And Nicole's like, yeah, I like how there's like a little sitting area too. It's like, yeah, it's through living space. There's seating. That's how it goes. There's a couch in here.

Wow. Lottie gets a vote in this. She's Queen B. And Shea tells us, but she cannot have an opinion in this completely because otherwise I'm automatically going to lose. Two to one. I can't go up against Lottie.

Lottie has so much power and her social media following. I just can't. So she's like, you don't like this? And she's like, no, I'm not a fan. Neither is Lottie. And she's like, you're not.

But I mean, it's close to where you want to be and it's close to my work. And she's like, yeah, The view's just not cutting it for me. So, I mean, if there's a Sabaro or something I could look at, that would be great. You know, and also it's grimy. And she's like, well, I mean, we can clean it. She's like, no, but everything's small.

There's not enough view. I'm stopping cheap. She just likes it because it's $200 under budget. I'm not saying that I'm made of money, but I am saying that my dad is, and I'm willing to spend a little bit more to get the view that I'm looking for. So now we see a preview of what the next place will be. And now they're walking outside. And Nicole's like, are you excited to go ride in a zap cap?

She's like, she's like, I'm very excited, even though I have no idea what a zap cap is. But are you sure we get to drive them? What is? Is it an actual vehicle or is it just like a turtle on the beach that we sort of ride on? It's like, I don't know. But as long as it's teal, I'm on board. I don't know what it is. I looked it up.

And I don't see any vehicles. vehicle type thing. Zap cab. Is it supposed to be Zap cab maybe? Oh, Zap cab? There used to be something called Zabcab. Oh, Zap cab. Empowering journeys with

Zabcabs. Professional drivers, safe drive, 24-7 support. Oh, it's cabs. No, that must be something different. Zap cab. Zap cab is like a It looks like a cab.

I am. No, maybe just Nicole, maybe Nicole made this up and Shay is just trying to go along with it. She's like, you excited to go on the schlieppie flopping? Sure. Okay, so, Shay is like, I'm moving to St. Thomas because I'm 26. I'm single. I'm young and free. I'm starting my career.

And, you know, I just, I've met Nicole because I posted online saying, hmm, lady, no one wants to room with here, wants room with someone over there. Anybody want to do it? And she was like, yeah. So here we're doing it, you know, and I need a roommate. So we're going to be a good fit because we're both taking such a risk and such a huge leap of faith. I sold a curling iron to get here.

So I'm ready. Pretty much ready to go. Hey, let's do the Titanic. Since we're on a boat, let's do the Titanic thing. Okay. So Shay is like, I'll be Rose. Okay. And I'll be Jack.

And they do like a very sad version of it. But like, they don't do it well. I think she's like, wait, you're not saying King of the World right. So for Nicole, the move to St. Thomas is a fresh start, and she's not leaving anything to chance. She has a slightly different perspective because she's poor. And so then we see Shea saying, I think we're going to get along just fine. We have to get along just fine. Otherwise, I have to question my life decisions and go back to Charlotte, and I'm not going back to Charlotte. But we might not see eye to eye on budget or personality or style or the color of our jeeps.

But I sold everything to move here. And listen, yes, did I spend a fortunate, Valley Beauty Supply? Yes. Did I get only a fraction of it back when I sold it in my garage sale? Yes, but it's worth it. And I think I'm, I'm just like waiting for, I think Nicole's just waiting for something a little bit more lavish and adventurous. I can't afford it. So, um, they're riding, they're going on boats and they each get their own boat with their own little captain. And Nicole's like, which one's the fastest one? I'm going to get on the fastest one. I was like, why are you making everything a competition, Nicole? You always claim everything. You don't get to pay. God, she's so annoying. So then she's like, yeah, I'm a real diva. Oh, my God. Divas have to have something behind them.

Okay, you're just a fucking wanter. You're a taker. Okay. Yeah, she's the worst. So they go ride boats and stuff and have a really great time. And then Nicole's like, so far, I don't really see my dream home. I just want to walk in and see my dad on the couch. Yeah.

I just like, I just feel like, yeah, nothing is like really good. I feel like moving here was the, like, I feel like moving here was the dream. Oh, I'm sorry, that's Jay saying that. And she's like, she says, I don't know. I mean, I didn't come here looking for a dream home. I came here. I feel like moving here is the dream. Just like being here is the dream.

So I just want to save money so that way I can save up for the dream, you know, for like $2,000. I think that views like really good. And Nicole's like, it's beautiful, but it's not really the view that I'm looking for. I mean, what about a carnival? Can we look at a carnival? I mean, you, I don't really see the appeal of rides. No, Carnival Cruise Line, anything. Come on now.

Work with me. Yeah, I gave up a lot to be here. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. I don't believe it. I'm just going to wait for you to argue with me and tell me what you gave up. Nothing. You didn't give up shit to be here.

And she's like, and I'm not going to compromise. So then we see, they go to this next house, right? Well, they're writing around on the zap caps. So I guess that's what they are, these things that they're writing around on. Still don't really understand the zap caps. I'm like, is it a boat? Is it a scooter? I don't know.

Zap cap. I guess it's the little boats, right? So then Alexi's like, I'm finding it difficult to read Nicole. Probably as difficult as she finds it to read in general. And we're going to look for another place. It's a little over budget, but maybe she'll like. So the house number two is a top floor unit on the north. sigh, just five minutes from Shea's work.

Oh, she's going to hate this one, because it's too close to Shea's work, you know? She may not like the price, but time is money. At least that's what I always tell my supervisors. Like, why do you always send me into the recording booth when you have only written the first draft of what I'm

supposed to be reading? Time is money. I'm Linda. Not some crap person off the side of the street. And the views could suffice for Nicole. Sorry, everyone, tangent. So Alexei is like, okay, so look look at this view it's absolutely unbelievable and looks like lot he likes it too right ha ha ha so this is two bedroom two bath apartment uh just a little bit above your price range of twenty three hundred

a month should we take a look come on want to come on try something to work with me here you know one of my favorite lines is you got to keep your wives happy right does that work does that help will you marry me oh just kidding okay come in so um it's a smaller place but it's nicer i think than the last one and she's like you're calling this small and she's like i mean you know little bit what are you thinking about it and she's like i think it's kind of big she goes and what do you think of the furniture and the furniture is really ugly but go to the store like go to the store those people can't do everything for you yeah exactly and then they're in the and nicole's like i like the back splash in the kitchen and she was like but the the refrigerator's in the hallway

i don't know it was just like off to the side it was not a big deal and nico's like that's awkward. Like, yeah, it's kind of weird. What a shitty place? Refrigered in the hallway, boo. And Alexi is like, I have the most important appliance for you girls. Microwave. Am I right? Lexi jokes. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. So now there's another room with some pretty views, you know. It's like, I mean, I guess everywhere has a pretty view here because he describes it as everything being on hills. So everywhere has a good view, which he shouldn't have said because they're going to to just keep wanting better and better views, or at least Nicole will. Yeah, this was a nice view, but I didn't, I didn't think it was like an amazing view,

but it probably looks better in person. And Nicole's like, yeah, I like this view. I could definitely see myself working out here. I love this spot. And she's like, but why do we have to go over budget for a view that we can get for free anywhere else on the island? We just have to take, just can go anywhere. Just get your laptop.

Go to the coffee shop. Because I want the view. And Lottie wants the view also. I have to work from home. And that's another pain in the ass thing where the person you're sharing with and paying equal rent for is going to be their all fucking day yapping. You know, and I say that is me, you know. Yeah. Who is home all day yapping.

But still, I only put Bueller through it. And thankfully, he can't talk. Okay. So they look at the master and there's a full bathroom there. But it's not that cute. Although they're saying it's really updated. but I don't see that. There's no bathtub.

And he's like, yeah, but you have to remember water's a commodity here. We don't have fresh water supply. So all the water here is gathered from rainwater. So you can't just like sit around in a fucking tub anyway. And Nicole's like, but I have lots of clothes. That would probably be great for me because there's a walk-in closet. But I want a bathtub. Like, oh, my God.

I'm going to murder this woman. The better to drown you with. I know, seriously. And then she doesn't like it because she knows she's going to get stuck in this other room and it's got a really low showerhead. And she's like, ooh, this is the bathroom's kind of gross and the showerhead's really low. And he's like, it's handheld. You hold it in hand. And she's like, is this normal?

And he goes, yes. She's like, I don't know if I believe you. This feels really small. Yeah. And Nicole's like, well, I'm not a fan of the day. Yeah, she's stuck in this shitty. ass second bedroom that has like, yes, the showerhead and then there's like grody tile and carpeting. It's like so bad. And Shea is totally going to get stuck in there, which is such bullshit.

I'm like so mad. Like justice for Shea. So, like, does this have a walk in closet? And he goes, no. She goes, this is your room. She's like, of course you're going to give me this one. I know. She's such a bitch. So Shea's like, overall, I'm kind of iffy on this place. It's got a great location and I really like the view. And Nicole's like, I don't like how out dated it is. It's like your hair. Whoa, wait, that's not fair. It's also over budget. I just feel like, you know, if you're going to get more modern room and I'm going to be stuck with the bathroom that has a shower hat that only comes up to here, it's just definitely going to be difficult. Looking for a apartment that fits both of our needs. Like, maybe you should go back to Georgia. No, this is my listing now.

You go back to Charlotte. Okay. I guess. So Nicole's like, Shea seems really funny looking and I'm having a really good time. making fun of her in my head. But I think she's really stuck on her budget. And I'm just like, I want to dream bigger. Dream bigger with your own purse. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So now they're in the car with Lexington. Also, why are they acting like they're getting married and moving into this place?

You guys are young. This is like a temporary place. You just need somewhere to go for a year, figure out if you're going to stay and then find people with connections and find a better place. Exactly. It's not forever, babe. So then Nicole, by way, these are future below Dextis, just so you know. I don't know. I was just working on St. Thomas, working in jewelry, and I met someone at the bar, and they said, come on the boat. So, Nicole's, now we cut to them in the car with Alexi, in the teal jeep, the fucking teal jeep. And Nicole goes, so, Lexi, you still haven't shown me my dream house.

Like, if money were no object. You can see She's like, but money is an object to me. I have no money. I've maxed out all my credit cards. I can't do this. So he's going to show them a really nice place now. So now we see them riding horses. And Nicole's like, I've always wanted to live here.

And I'm not just satisfied with going to work every day. I don't have kids. I don't own a home. And the timing feels just right. And you know, by the way, Nicole is going to make all these demands about where they're supposed to live. They're going to move in together. And Nicole's going to find like a boyfriend.

And she's going to spend every single night outside of the house. and she's going to barely be there. And Shea will be like, great. I'm glad that I compromise on the house. And you're not even going to be here because you're banging Captain Stewart down there in the marina. The only thing that She ever gets to clean

on herself as her shoulders. Like the saddest thing ever. So then She tells the realtor again, she's like, I mean, I told everything to get here. Everything. I sold all of my nothing to get here. And Nicole's, And Nicole's like, I had a tennis racket from junior high and I sold it to be here.

So please. And Nicole is so cold. Nicole goes, I understand where you're coming from. But this is my dream. I don't care what you sold. I'm getting my view of a boat. So now we see flashbacks because this show, it's like it's only 20 minutes long, but they keep showing you flashbacks of what happened five minutes ago every five minutes.

So he goes, okay. So let me ask you a question. On scale of 1 to 10, 10 will take this place right now. Where are you guys? And Nicole's like, well, this is the second house. She's like, I like the view. And Lottie has somewhere to run around, but it's not very Caribbean-e. Caribbean-e.

And so. It's in the Caribbean. I hate when people will do that. It's in the Caribbean-e. It's automatically Caribbean-y. Sorry. Yeah. So now we go to the car.

They're on their way to the next place. And she's like, if money was no object, what are you going to show me? And he's like, I have something in my. But you need to beware. It's expensive. Don't, don't, don't, don't, $2,900 a month. And Shay's like, um, okay, well, just let me get nine more jobs. She's like, yeah, you can do that.

Maybe you can find a job pulling a card or something. I'm not a donkey. Stop calling me that. Just saying. She's like, we're $700 over budget. Plus, we're in the middle of nowhere on this island. So they walk into this house. That's large, but like, I thought it looked.

crazy in the inside. I didn't think it was like that much nicer. Yeah, I guess the, the appliances were updated, but it was just like there was all this junk in the middle of this place. I could barely get my moorings. Yeah, this isn't cute. And this is clearly a couple that, uh, well, I'm assuming a couple that has a house and they're like, let's make some money from some sucker tourists and charge them a shit ton of money to live upstairs. And we'll still live in the apartment downstairs and get the pool to ourselves, you know, trying to find idiots who live there because they don't get to use the pool, which is crazy. The view is incredible.

I mean, this has, like, windows all around it, and you can see the ocean. I mean, it's really beautiful. But the house itself is, like, tasteless, I think. It's not cute. Yeah, I agree. It's tasteless. So, um, get some goof. She's like, I mean, I love the style of everything here, like seashells.

And she goes, it's very eclectic, definitely my taste. But I don't know. I just, I just even being in here, I feel kind of brum. It's like, yes, but look, amazing kitchen, not just microwave. Does granite counters, professional appliances? It might even encourage you to do a little bit of cooking and try to find a man. You know what I'm saying? And Nicole's like, yeah, right.

But we could cook bagel bites in the stove. I mean, the oven. What's the difference? Ma'am, get off my TV right now. General Lexington discuss. This is my turn to say, wow. Wow. She's like, she's like, this is the stove.

This is the oven. Do you even know what a bagel bite is? Yeah, it's that big round thing with the tomato sauce and the cheese on it. That's a pizza. Oh, I have no idea. Also, this kitchen isn't, I don't care what they say.

This kitchen has like a waterfall, you know the waterfall-style countertop, but it's not cornered right. It's just, they put one piece of marble on top of the other instead of like corn. It's just badly done. It's not, yeah, it's not cute. It's not worth this money for sure.

Yeah, and then they look at it. This is where they see the view, but they also see the pool. And Lexi's like, well, unfortunately, it's for owner's use only. She's like, okay, but I'm going to need to use that. I would be like your, I was with Shay on this. Like, okay, so we can't use it and stuff to pay over our budget to not use a pool. That's so obnoxious that you're not going to let your tenants use your pool. Come on. Truly. In a vacation spot. That's crazy. So, um, she's like, this girl's crazy. I'm. not spending this. Alexi's like, I'm not trying to start fight, but Nicole works from home and having a view when you work from home. No, you shouldn't have the same view when you work from home as everybody who works in an office, a wall. Okay, anything else is a plus. Like, yeah, this girl doesn't get to demand shit just because she's going to be using the house 90% more than the other girl. That's not fair. Yeah, exactly. You don't, listen, when you're looking

at your laptop, you're not looking at the ocean. Okay, you don't need the view. The benefit is that you're in St. Thomas. That is what you get. don't get look I I'm in Los Angeles right now I'm in gorgeous beautiful sunny fucking Los Angeles and you know my view is right now nothing all my windows are shut that's because you don't need the view and then when the work is done then you go and you go out into the world and you unwind but you don't need the view at that moment yeah she's being so mad I'm so mad that I'm actually arguing against the view right now yeah well it's just because it's for Nicole you know it's like well I work from home so I

deserve a corner office like that doesn't even make any sense, you know, earn your view, Nicole. When you can afford it, you can get the view, okay, sucker. Yeah. No way, I think I would be arguing that if you're working from home, you deserve to have a beautiful, tranquil environment with like natural light and beautiful views that you can sit back in your chair. When you look up from working on Excel, you can take it all in. But for Nicole, I'm like, you get a cubicle and I fuck off the cold. That's all you get. Boo, you get no view. Put a blind hold on when you got to work. If it was say, we'd be like, all she wants is a view. She's so nice. So she has. So she has.

It doesn't have been ponytail. Give me something. I do think, though, like, you have to make sacrifices, okay? And, like, you, like, you, I think Shay is totally right. The dream is that you get to live on the island. So you don't get to have the view right away. You have to work your way up to the view. And once you have enough money to have the view, then you can have the view. But you don't start, you just don't get to start at the top.

Yeah. So they like the bedrooms because they're a little southerny. You know, they've got, like, wood beds and stuff. But there's also only one bathroom in this place, which is cool. crazy for that price. By the way, I love when Alexi said this. He's like, okay, everyone, so this is the master bedroom. There's a sitting area, so that gives you a lot of time to contemplate life and so on.

I don't know. Contemplate life. I'm telling you one thing. One thing that Nicole is not going to do is sit in a chair and contemplate life. That's just off the table. She's not contemplating anything. Although we did drop the bagels bites reference, so who knows how long she's going to try to work that out. So, yeah.

They like the bedrooms and stuff. And then they try to go into the bathroom at the same time. And they get stuck in the doorway. It's so wacky. And she's like, Lottie, you're too fat girl. I hope Lottie bites her face. So then Nicole's like, this is my dream home. I just love the space and the view, but there's only one small bathroom.

But still, it's worth it. And she's like, oh my God, please don't do this to me. I've sold a toaster. And she's like, but I want it. I just want. I just hope you're willing to compromise a little bit on the budget for my dream. So then now the girls are walking. Your dream is tacky and your dream doesn't even have a pool.

Dream higher. So now they're walking on the beach to talk about things. And Nicole's like, I think we should go all in on the dream house. I think you're crazy. Okay. I sold an entire box of tongue depressors. I don't know why I had it in the first place, but I sold it. Okay.

And I did not sell it to waste it all on that tacky ass big house. Yeah. She's like, I'm not going to get a second job so you can get your dream house. So they go walking on the beach and Nicole's like, hey, there's a hammock. Will you take a picture of me on it? Oh my God, welcome to being friends with Nicole. This is all you're going to do the rest of your friendship is take fucking pictures of Nicole doing things on the beach. And she's never going to ask you to take a selfie with her.

It's always going to be like, look, here I'm posing in front of a statue of St. Thomas. Take my picture. Well, it's very slim picking. very slim picking out there for the entire island of St. Thomas is only five condos. So now they're, we're seeing like, they have to make decisions, okay? So Nicole's like, so what do you think about the blue house? And like, well, you got the vacation view. I just like, I can't tell which part is like flashback from earlier in the episode

and which part is like actual contemplating. But basically it's not in this part because they're just talking amongst themselves. Nicole is just like very, very picky about everything right now. Yeah. And Nicole's like, but I'm concerned if our search is only about budget, I'm not going to find something I'm happy with. I mean, the view's better in the second house, but like, I mean, seeing cruise ships and stuff, there's a place for me and Lottie to run around. She's like, oh my God, Jesus. But yeah, don't forget that she also clams the entire backyard for her dog.

So then Nicole is like, well, by the way, okay, so the first, the dream house is off the table, but the gray house is only $100 over budget. that's not going to kill you, right? She's like, I understand it's not going to kill me, but I have to pick up a third job. And I really don't want to do that. Great. So you'll pick up a third job and I'll hang around the house. That's great. I love that.

Now we can go diving. Also, I just wanted to mention that the backyard that she's so on about, this is the second house, because they got rid of the first house because there's no way. So the second one, she's like, well, that has room for Lottie. Okay. But the only way to get to that backyard is through the bedroom that you want her to live in.

So she's like, okay, I want you to live in the shittier bedroom. But then we'll have to go through it every morning when Lottie needs to go out. Every morning and every night. It's like, she's such an asshole. So then Nicole's like, don't you think extra money's worth a beautiful view in the yard? I get to see cruise ships. And she's like, okay. So fine.

Fine. Yeah, she's like fine. Jesus. House number two. So now we see three months later. And they're walking. And now there's another dog in the mix. So they're pretending like they are, they really enjoy each other.

You can see that Shay can't stand her still. And she's like, I 100% think we did the right thing, but moving to St. Thomas and worrying about living family, you know, and leaving family and friends was a huge deal when we first left. But now I just, I just can't wait for everyone to come visit us because it means that I have someone else to talk to other than Nicole. Please someone help it. Help me.

Yeah. She's like, we met completely randomly on our online. But like, you know, I think it's great for the most part. And now, you know, we're going out and we're meeting friends and also some friends together. So that's nice. You know, she's just like, oh, my God. I've joined every club in town to get away from this girl. And it's kind of starting to work.

So thank Jesus. So she got the ultimate revenge on Nicole because she rescued a puppy for herself, which means complete mayhem in Nicole's life. And also, Lottie's old. So old dogs do not generally like puppies. And she even says they're not really getting along. And so I was like, oh, good for you getting one over on Nicole. Yeah.

But also, she just robbed Nicole of the dog card. Like, well, I have to do this because I've got a dog. I got to have the yard because I got a dog. And Shia is like, no, I have a dog. I have the dog card too. You don't have dog card privileges over me anymore. Not only that, she has a cuter dog. So, ooh.

A cuter dog. And the gag is also on Nicole, because Nicole. is working from home, which means that Nicole has to walk the other dog while Shay is doing her jewelry. Sucker. So it was a nice twist ending where She kind of gets one over on Nicole. I like that. It was a nice twist ending. Yeah.

Yeah. We usually don't see that. You know, we usually see the squeaky wheel get the grease. And I like that. She's like, nope, I'm getting a better wheel for myself, bitch. Yeah. So, yeah, you go, girl. Yeah.

So a fun episode. Thanks, everyone for listening. Again, send your recommendations to watch what crapans at your time. email.com with the subject header of dwell hello suggestion and we will catch you in two weeks for the next dwell hello thanks everyone bye y'all