Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #509: Sex Wax on the Beach in Noosa

Episode Date: April 25, 2025

This week on Dwell Hello, a youngun moves to Noosa to surf. Will she let her friend with benefits talk her into moving into his share house? This is a recap of House Hunters International S156E08 Sex Wax on the Beach in Noosa, and we watched it on Max.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello and welcome to Dwell Hello. I'm Ronnie and that's Ben. Hello, Ben. Hi, how are you? Good. Welcome to another episode of Dwell Hello. Oh, it feels great to be here. So excited. This one is called Sex Wax on the Beach in Nusa, okay?

It's House Hunters International Season 156, Episode 8. If you want to find this, you can just look over on Max and just search for sex wax on the beach in Newsaw. And that is how you will find it. That's how we find everything, eh? I'm trying to see here. It's a provocative title for this episode, Sex Wax on the Beach, because, spoiler alert, there's no sex and nothing about sex in this episode.

There's something about sex wax. Don't you know what sex wax is? I don't. You don't. Sex wax is what you use on surfboards. What kind of California, boy, are you, Ben? I'm a New Yorker at heart, I guess. Sex wax.

Wow, sounds provocative, okay? Yeah, this was suggested by Michelle. If you want to suggest something, email us at watchwitcrapins.com with the subject header, dwell hello suggestion. So we can find it in a search. And please make sure that we can find it somewhere that's free to watch, like Max or YouTube TV, something. like that. Okay, so thanks, Michelle. Here we go. Now this, this one is a little different because it's a

young person and they're moving because they just want to be, they just want to adults. And so they say things like, this is what adults would do. I'm like, aren't you like 27 or something? She's 25, actually. She's barely, still like, barely in adults. That's an adult. I don't know. I think maybe I just started working too young. I don't. It's not working when I was 13. I'm like, you're like a full-on-e-r nurse, ma'am. Like, what the, you're a surgical nurse. You were an adult. Yes, you are an adult.

But like, in terms of adulting, I think that doesn't start until your 30s, right? I don't know. What is adulting? What do you consider adulting? I think when you start doing things like focusing more on, like, dinner parties versus going out to the bar. I think that's pretty much it. I think when you start really focusing at dinner parties. I think like nesting.

I think trying to buy your own house. I think having children focusing on like when your concerns are really more focused on on going to like target to get cute things for your living space versus you know

where you're going to party. I think that's more adulting. I was taking it more like you pay your rent and you go to a job. Like that's all I really require. So I'm like you're an adult. I'm not very mature at my age. my ripe old age so i guess i'm just like i mean you pay your rent don't you anyway i think you're an adult anyway but i really like her she's she's got a really good personality she hangs out with this

like surfer dude like kind of a stereotypical surfer dude who i feel like looks like a lord of the ring's character like in some light he's like really cute and really hot and i'm like oh my god i can totally see why this girl's banging the sky but on the other i'm like but is he protecting a ring from a monster in a volcano He might be via surfing. Yeah. Yeah, there's something kind of medieval about him. There is.

Like, I feel like he likes rent fares and turkey, you know, those big old turkey legs. Like he walks around amusement parks with big turkey legs. And that's fine. That's fine. Just be honest about it. Okay. Don't act like you're a surfer when we know deep down you want to be on a renfair. Yeah, you can do both things.

But I'm just, you know, I'm just like trying to get a handle on who he is, you know. Yeah. So we opened up and we see. Erica, sort of like our little pre-credits moment where she's talking about, like, she just really wants to work on the, like, want to work on the days that I work and then surf on the days off. And so Linda's like, but in Nusa, Australia, there's more to love than just the work-life balance. What it is, I don't know, because I can't tell the fuck what it is from this stupid episode. But you know what? That's fine. Live your life, Erica.

I'm not going to live in Nusa. It sounds too much like Musa. And he wants to live in place called that. Well, Michelle the, or Erica does. So let's see what this dummy wants to do with her life. So she's with her friend, quote unquote, they say, her friend. Because this whole, the show's like, winking at us the whole time. Like, are they fucking? Are they? Every car wrong they put up is like, this is a famous part of news. That they probably fucked in, am I right? They're really trying to create some sort of intrigue between these two, but I don't sense any sexual chemistry. And also, I don't know why they would need to keep it secret. Like, I don't know why, like, why we're being so saucy about the fact that there's, like, that they know each other.

It's like, they may be fucking. It's like, okay, so sure. Okay. Yeah. So he's wiping down a surfboard. They're on the beach. That's what they have in common. So then we go to a cafe and they're with an Canadian agent, Ian.

And he's like, I'm the dad here because I'm with a younger woman who might be, quote, unquote, fucking. this guy, which I don't know if I quote unquote approve of. I'm gonna judge them. I'm here to judge the fuck out of these youngans. So the big question going into the show is, am I ready to put party Erica to rest? I don't know.

We'll see. So now we have our theme, theme music. And then we arrive here in Nusa Australia, Australia, where we meet Erica Lung, who is here at the beach. And she's like saying, being a surgical nurse is very

stressful and sad at the same time so I decided to travel to Asia, Australia, and India. I was like, wait a second, what? Sad. What's happening in your surgeries? How many of them are going wrong? Because that's so sad. You're dealing with so many sick people.

She's like, I'm sick of sick people. So I'm going to travel now. This is the new Erica. So yourself up. Then I realized I probably shouldn't be in Vancouver anymore. So I'm definitely looking for more of a work-like balance. So I chose to move to Nusa because I love to surf. And I actually surfed in Australia about a year ago. And I thought it was a better version of Canada. Because, you know, the weather. You wouldn't say the surfing

in Australia is better than the surfing in Vancouver. She's like, have you ever tried surfing in maple syrup? It's hard. So I was like, fuck this. I'm going to Australia. Nuson. Nuson is a The car they drive in Nusa, sorry. Nusa is a very iconic place to surf. And as a nurse, I work hard. But not lately, am I right? So they say, Kairon. The average annual temperature in Nusa is between 68 degrees and, quote, unquote, 75 degrees.

There am I? Question mark. Wow. It's like a warm Vancouver. So Erica is saying, you know, for the past five years, I've been backpacking and partying. and living in a sharehouse, which is why I really just want to find my own space. I have not showered in so long.

I think it's time. I think it's time to get back into showering. Being an adult is going to be a huge step. But Nusa is like the paradise of Australia. It's kind of like Nusa is to Australia as Vancouver is to Canada. And so I imagine like a lot of Australians and expats want to move here. So it might just be like a little difficult to find something on my own. It was popularized when the famous house flipper, TARCL Nusa,

went on HGT. I just love it here. So we see Globe Marketing, Vancouver, Canada to Nusa, Australia. And she's like, yeah, I feel like I'm brave because I came here all by myself. And I don't have a job nursing, but I thought it would be, you know, a big step. So here I am. I'm brave. So she's hanging out with AJ.

Oh, sorry, what are you going to say? Nothing useful. That's not required. that's not required on this show. Where do you think you are? A library? I was like, so she's walking around saying, where's the Molson? Am I right?

It's just like Canada, but warmer. Yeah, she's hanging out with AJ. And she's saying that when she first got to Nusa, she met A.J. in the water while surfing. And she was like using like a phone board, which is like such a rookie board. Like, who's putting sex wax on that? Am I right?

She goes, who's moving to a place to surf when you're on a phone board? I mean, seriously. Can we get some pros of Nusa? This is Nusa, okay? This is not Toronto. We serve here. Technically, it was a snowboard from Whistler. She's like, I can use this in the ocean, too, right?

So Erica's like, hey, remember? I was on a maple leaf. So. It's actually just an old CD from Celine Dion. She goes, do you remember when, hey, AJ, remember when we first met and the waves were massive and I didn't know how to serve? Ha, ha, ha.

And it's like, yeah. Or remember. was like, what's this kook doing in this four-footer? Am I right? And then we see, surfers that don't follow the rules of the waves are called kukes. In the Nusa Surfing World. The Nusa World Surfing Reserve has five world-class point breaks for surfers. You kukes, I did it. Did you see?

You're all kukes out there. Kook recognized kook, am I right? Wow, congratulations. You surfed in a wave you couldn't handle. How about you try raising two kids and lose custody to your ex-husband, huh? Sorry, I got a little personal there. Well, I just thought he was a typical surfer with long hair, crystal necklace, smells kind of funny, you know, takes baths only in the ocean and still doesn't use soap. But, you know, he kept surfing by me until I decided to say something. And then he offered me a giant turkey leg so that was something i fucked him i fucked him the kairon just says she quote unquote fucked him kook hope that works out for you this is another kairon below it she goes a j was like

yeah she was all like help me i don't know how to save she's such a keuk so erika's like i wasn't hitting it on him or anything i just thought i was a strange renaissance man on the ocean and i was confused i wanted to ask what he was doing there where's your sword what who what king are you wonder And the Chiron under him says, A.J. Olson, quote unquote, friend. Wow. So Erica tells us, A.J. would like me to go to his current place so him and I could go surfing all the time. And he thinks I'm not ready to grow up. But I am ready to grow up. I've seen many people's body is torn open. I've seen a lot of these days. I've seen what not ever having a job and only surfing and living in a sharehouse desk to you.

And it's AJ. I don't want to become AJ. So I'm going to try to avoid that. Hey, you can tell me where all the grownups hang out. Not that you probably know. Ha, ha, ha. It's a strange thing to say to someone. Yeah, it really is. So that she says grownups all the time, because that's her thing. She's like, I'm not grown up yet. Yes, you are. Okay. Pay your taxes. So we go to AJ and his confessional and he's like, when it comes to haces, I'm not an ex. But I kind of know what she wants, you know? And she can have. that when she's 35. She's 25. A sharehouse like mine would be great. We need someone to clean a toilet

every once in a wall. And by cleaning, I mean, roughly go over it with a paper towel once a month. Yeah. I haven't been seen his sharehouse yet, but at this point in the episode, I'm like, absolutely not. Do not move in with this idiot. So then they meet it with this guy, Ian, who Ian is a fellow Canadian. And he also speaks in a very kind of hilariously, decado way. Did you notice that? That everything he said was sort of like the so he's saying that like Nusa is like a very hot commodity and rentals in the price range are extremely hard to come by. And, uh, she wants solo living, one bed, one bath. She wants to be in central Nusa. She wants to be close to the beach, but also in central Nusa. And her budget is $1,200. And she also uses the term

cafe lifestyle. She's like, I really want to be close to the cafe lifestyle. Adults love cafe. You know what I love is smelling like seaweed and going into a cafe. I just want that cafe lifestyle. Totally into it. So she's only going to

spend $1,200 and he grimaces but I think that's for House Hunters International that's a pretty good. That's actually a pretty decent budget, right? She's actually like, I think at one point in this part where we were going through I seem to remember she said at some point, like, well, I know it's like a, it's a tough market or there's not a lot of opportunities here. So, you know, I'm willing to spend $1,200, which I was like, this is how you can tell that she's Canadian versus an American, because America would be like, okay, well, since I'm in a foreign country, we all know. I think I could probably do a budget of like $300. You can get something for me, right?

$1,200. They aren't even a McDonald's buy here. Every time there's an America, they just always assume when you leave America, everything is cheaper. Yeah, $300, right? Yeah. So what's a point of common in Mexico? This is Nusa, sir. So, well, so you don't have burritos here? Oh, great.

And you want $1,200? I don't think so. So Ian is like just laughing in her face. He's like, oh, $1,200. Hey, I've got some sharehouses you can look at. Hey, should I take you to some park abentches? You can sleep on those for about $1,200 a month. I know you want some cafe culture.

How about sleeping under a table in a cafe? That'll get you. That's what $1,200 will get you. Okay. Have you learned to use discarded garbage as a comforter? Okay, because I could show you some garbage cans you can sleep in. Okay. Hey, maybe you can learn how to breathe underwater because you can then just sleep under the coral reef.

And that still will cost you about $1,500 actually now that I think about it. I do have some mermaid clients. And AJ's like, well, listen, I mean, I have a sharehouse to rent is cheek, bills, included at one time or another, someone's always masturbating. There's never a time a day that someone doesn't have their dick in their hand. Question, how do you feel about a light coating of pubic hairs on every surface? Is that okay for you? What do you think of a piss sprinkle being all over walls of the bathroom? The right light, it looks like stars. Ian's looking at Erica like, blink once if you want me to save you from his man. And so,

I get what you're saying, but I want to grow up a little bit. I want to do what grownups do. Then why do you have this fragler rock character next to you? Okay. So Ian's like, well, I haven't quite figured out what AJ's role in this relationship is yet. But when I asked Erica and she said they were friends, I wonder what would happen if I asked AJ the same question. Okay, messy Ian, getting involved in this situation.

Yeah. So now they're on their way to House number one. They're talking by phone to each other. and number one checks her boxes, okay, because she is going to be near the surf and surely there's a cafe there and it's a resort town so it's on the pricier side.

So Ian's like anything near the beach is going to be pricey, but we're going to what I call quote unquote dream pad. That's all right. I quote unquoteed it everybody. All right, pay attention. I'm fucking the dream pad.

The dream pad does that mean that the interior is designed like a Renaissance castle but the floors are covered with piece sprinkle? It's not that. That's maybe your dream. Is it a dream pad something you put on the ground and pee on so you don't have to walk all the way to the share bathroom? Actually, that is part of it.

Yes. So this place is a two-minute drive to the beach and about a five-minute walk to cafe culture of Nusa Junction. So Erica's like, I've got high expectations now, just like a grown-up. We know you don't because you're hanging out with that guy. So we see this place, and it says the house exterior is a two-story with a ground-level garage and a wrapped-around deck on the second floor with big windows for AJ to look into. AJ goes, looks a little bit like a sharehouse. It's like, well, as you may notice, there's no piece sprinkler around, nor pubic hair, nor semen. And there are three individual suites that all have their own entrance and are fully self-contained.

So I'm like, so it's an apartment building, basically? Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah. Pretty much. It's a communal pool. Yeah. It's an apartment building. And he's like, and there isn't a shared outdoor pool.

It's like, oh my God. It's like basically like a sharehouse. You might as well live in a share house. You're going to share a pool. I'm like, geez. But it's $1,500, but it's also close to the surf. So Erica tells us, you know, I'm ready to adult, but I'm realizing that's going to come with a prize. Yeah.

No shit. It's called Get Another Job. Or get a job. She doesn't even have a job yet. So AJ is saying, yeah, that's what happens when you want to grow up. You have to pie for things. But in a sharehouse, you pay, you barter, just like in Renaissance days. Unfortunately, the barter that we accept most is body here.

So they go and they look at those places. It's gorgeous. I love that. It's gorgeous. Yeah, it's modern. It's beautiful. It's so nice. I mean, it is really, really nice.

The location's perfect. Everything about it is perfect. which means that we know this douchebag is going to talk her out of it. I mean, I know. I was like there's, there was not a single thing wrong with it in my point of view for what she needs and what she wants. $300 more expensive per month, yes.

But like you can, $300 is doable. You can find ways. You adjust your budget. You adjust your spending. That is so good. And it was all so modern and the views were good. The kitchen was a little small,

but like the kitchen was small and the place she winds up with anyway. I was like, what, this is, this is, this is a, this is a wonderful choice. Yeah, that's really is. And this has a been a part, this is a bend place to you. Like, this is your style. This is like your ultimate style. And I love it too. I mean, it's just slick, cold, well, modern, you know.

Yeah, modern, like just super modern, clean lines. It's great. And the, they have kind of a weird sunken in, the tub is sunken into the ground, which is part of the ground. Yeah, it's like a shower, but it's also the shower basin is kind of like the tub. It's like, yeah, it's weird, but it's kind of cool. I like it. Yeah, it is. It is.

So that's cool. It's got a really fancy toilet, possibly that cleans your butt for you. We don't know. I haven't given it a test drive, but that's what it looks like. Fully furnished. It has an air conditioner, by the way, which I think is important. And AJ is like, well, this is definitely too fancy. I mean, 100%.

I don't think she needs all the material positions, you know. Yeah. 100% she needs the material possessions. This is like this would be so wonderful to live in this space. I think so too. And Ian's like, okay, well, you know, and then the bathtub faces the east and you have a view so you could sit in the bathtub and look at the view. And AJ's like, oh, so what, you can leave your door open and just let everybody have a look at you while you're having a bath. That sounds great.

I actually like this. I actually like this. Can I have a cute of the pity. So Ian's like, I see Erica's face light up and then I look over at AJ and he's sullen. He doesn't want her to like. this and he really is he's a big underminer he is because he wants like convenient friend sex you know I don't blame him yeah but she's not I don't know she's not like a remote control you know it's like she's not built for your convenience sir and anyway you lose remote controls anyway where are we

pretending that you don't so in why did I go from sex to remote controls that's how I'm living these days just pretend it didn't happen everybody so And he's like, yeah, this guy's depressed. And we see him and he is. He does not like it. And there's a pool, which she loves. And he's like, oh, God, pools. Enjoy that all by yourself.

No one to share it with. Just on your swing. And she's like, yeah, be peaceful. He's like, yeah, read as many books and drink as much tea as you want on this stupid swing. That sounds real fun having private time enriching your mind with a book and having a tea. Disgusting. She's like, yeah. You know what?

I've heard that adultery book. books. Maybe I'll read books because I'm going to be a grownup. So then Erica is telling us, like, I'm trying to be more adult. And this seems exactly like the perfect place to do that, which is why it's probably going to be the one that I cross off first later on. So then, but she is concerned about the money, you know? And Ian's like, well, is there any way you can get a little extra chatter? I'm young too, everyone. He's like, hip, hip, Hippity hop. Step off the curb.

Can you get some more cheddar for that? Ballers, ballers. Am I right, yo? And AJ's like, well, yeah, if you work more and party less, if that's a lifestyle, you're going full, grossy, grossy, josie, josie. So Ian's like, yeah, am I going to get my way or is AJ going to get his way? Let's see. Whose penis is stronger? So now we go to the beach and Erica's like, yeah, I mean, I'm a really good.

good surfer for a Canada person, but I doubt they agree here. I was originally trying to surf on a soda cooler, and they told me that was wrong. So I might have something to learn. Hardworking nurse Erica has left Canada to find a better work-life balance, but local buddy AJ only has one speed, deluded. And it's a stick shift, and the stick is a boner. So It is like the most important thing here is surf, and only surf. But I do work at a cafe, because you know, you've got to work. Well, it's where most surfers probably would work, you know, because I'm a surfer. I don't want to work somewhere a surfer wouldn't work.

Like, no pet stores for me. You don't need to see surfers at pet stores, do you? Hey, don't see many surfers at banks, do you? Guess where you see surfers? Coffee shops, that's right. You want a mediocre latte? Come to me. I know, I'm like, memo to self.

find that where AJ works and do not go to that cafe. It's like the worst cafe. If you want to sit, wait 15 minutes for your latte. So now, AJ, oh, and then they continue with AJ, which I like. We see him surfing and he's like, money, that's a big part of my life. But it's more tool to get me where I need to go, you know, I connect to my surf craft. That's what I want. I'd sleep anywhere I wanted as long as I know that I could surf every day.

Yeah, Erica, please separate yourself from this man. Yeah. Also, like him acting like it's a big, a fresh idea to say that money is a tool for him to get to where he used to go. Yeah, that's why it's called money. It's a tool for all of us to do things. Dodo Bird. So Erica's like, surfing is a hobby, you know, and I do keep fit and I like it. But I have other goals and aspirations, like drinking tea and reading books, you know, and having a career and being an adult.

Adults read books, right? I want to be an adult. Wow. Without a job locked down yet, Erica's starting to feel the heat from being a dummy. Ha. Gotcha. So Erica says that before coming to Australia, she saved money, but she was traveling, so she spent a lot. And now she needs a job.

So Ian's like, okay, looking for what she wants. Will AJ get his way? Probably. Okay. He's got hair. So thinks he's so great. Let's see. So we go over House 1 again, and now they're going to House 2.

And it's far. She's like, I'm really concerned. We are driving far from Nusa Cafe Culture. This is not. This feels too adult. This is too adult. I'm too far away from those cafes serving cold brews that take 20 minutes to come through. So please, this is far from me.

So anyway, they go to the hinterland, or also known as the bushlands. And this is where it's more suburban, you know, so it's a little bit less, it's not, it's a little farther away from that cafe culture. It's funny how they have to explain it to her. She's like, ooh, what is this? And he goes, this is a suburb. This is where more families live. She's like, oh, they have grownups in them. Grownups are here.

I love grownups. I'm going to be one. Do any of them read books? is there tea? So, I don't think Eric is going to be happy living this far out of town. I mean,

where is she going to get a cold brew? That's going to take 20 minutes to get to her table. She's committed in the beginning to drive in that fall, but I think she would start to get over it, I think. Yeah. I mean, listen, you're going to pay more in fuel.

And then, you know, if you have a drink in the town, you're going to have to get a taxi to come out here that's going to cost money, you know. And she's like, oh, I didn't think more on fuel, but also maybe I'll become more organized and more of a grown-up, and then I can save some more coin. And he's like, whatever helps.

Ian's like, by coin, do you mean cheddar? Ian also has, he also says this weird thing where he says, so in this place you have a self-contained basement suite, as we'd call them in Canada. What do they call them in Australia? An Uber-Lubelong? A share house. That's what we call.

So this one's cute. It's nothing close to the other one. But it's like cute. It's brightish. And it's, I actually don't think it's brightish. I think what's nice and bad is there's more space because it's a one bedroom, one bathroom, as opposed to a studio. And like the layout is very nice. But it is kind of gloomy because it's in a basement.

So you have these windows that are sort of like high up. And I don't know. Like I actually do think 15 minutes is a little bit, it is a little bit far away. And you are in the suburbs. And I do feel like you want an adult, but like you also want to have a life to some degree. And you're just like living under these people. And you're far away from everything. I wasn't totally sold.

It's not the worst. But it doesn't sound like a lot of 15 minutes. But it is. When I moved here to Austin, I was like, well, it's just 30. I'm in a suburb. And it's 30 minutes from downtown. So I'm like, okay, 30 minutes from downtown is nothing. Right.

Who cares? Like if I was sitting on the train or sitting up, it is a lot. It is a lot. And I never go into Austin. Like, it's very rare. I'm like that so far. It feels like a day trip, you know? Like, I pack a little lunch, which is ridiculous.

But also in L.A., you know, living in the valley. I'm never in, like, West Hollywood or any of that anymore because it takes half an hour. Fuck that. I'm not doing it. I was going to say, I had this back, I don't know, when is it, 2016 or so? My apartment in Hollywood, they did, like, renovations on it. And I had to be out of there for six weeks. And so for those six weeks, I lived in Dom's up.

apartment in North Hollywood because he was out of town doing some shooting something. And so I basically took over his apartment. And so I was like 15 or 20 minutes away from all my friends, which again, you're like, well, whatever, you just go down the highway. It does make a difference. You do kind of feel isolated. I felt like I was in my own little island up there for a while because all my friends were on the other side of the hill. And so, and all the things I like to do, all the places I like to go were on the other side and I was always the one having to go. And it does kind of, you feel like a little like, like, you know, you feel, you feel a drift. You feel cut off, okay?

You feel like, you know where you wouldn't feel like that in the sharehouse. That's it. You know what? If you're in a dream pad, you wouldn't feel cut off. You feel like you're in a dream, okay? That's why it's called a dream pad. That's just how it goes. So, um, she's like, oh my God, fuel.

I never thought about fuel. But then we see the open concept living room. the kitchen dining room and a little personal laundry and bathroom comes furnished. And she has her air conditioner, but it's a little wall unit. It's not like central air. Yeah. And so she's like, yeah, very necessary for a Canadian to have an Australia air conditioning. Okay.

And the kitchen's nice. She likes that. And AJ's like, it's small. I don't like small kitchens. My place has a much bigger kitchen with a drum set in there. Yeah. Ian's like, well, I think that AJ can be quite persuasive, and he has some good arguments, and I think he's going to advise her not to take this place, even though the amount of cheddar she'll be spending is exactly as much as she wants.

It depends on how many bags she wants to spend. Stacks on stacks on stacks. So the bedroom is fine. Everything's fine. It's sort of gloomy, you know, and there's a nice little backyard area. and she's like, wow, my very own barbecue. I actually don't even know how to use one of these, but I'll put that on the list of things I need to learn as an adult.

Can you barbecue books? Let's try. You can now. It's very popular in the States these days. He's like, oh, maybe I should have chosen there to be grown up. I'll be making shrimp on the Barbie before you know it. And he's just like, they're called prones. Oh, stupid.

stupid canadian basically American She's like okay We'll blame crocodile Dundee What the fuck did I do I didn't come up with it I really do like this place My own kitchen Living space

Bedroom AC Book Book barbecue The only downside is that it's not Nusa Cafe culture Am I right This is a real adult

decision Do I really want to be a Lusa Not from Nusa? So, AJ is like, well, but, you know, listen, you're also going to be surfing twice a day in the summer if I have anything to say about it. You're going back and forth paying 1,200 a month plus fuel. And that's just the surf. Then there's shops. You have to drive to those too.

You're going back and forth and back and forth. Oh, my God. So much driving. So come check out my place. Just come check out my place. You're going to love it. It smells like K.Y and just K-Y, mostly. Sometimes we'll get a pizza.

That doesn't really linger as much as the K. Blade plugin. We get a Glade plugin that smells like apple apple paw, but people don't really like the mix of that with the K-W. Well, with no more solo place to show Erica, Ian is stuck as AJ takes the lead. So come along as we watch a cum stained house. So now Ian is like, he's like, what am I even doing here? I guess I'm going to go along. I'm a realtor.

Why am I touring this place? He's like, now I'm following a surfer dude to his place to see if he's, if he's, he's, He can rent or a place. I don't know how my life has come to this, but here we are. And in the beginning, he's like, hey, guys, I just want to tell you, I normally sell real estate, okay? But you're pretty cute. So I'm going to, I'll find something for you to rent.

I was like, oh, wow, Ian. Thank you so much for coming all the way down from that mountain that you live on. Yeah. He's like, do I still get a commission if you get this sharehouse? Because otherwise, I'm wasting a lot of time. Yeah. Well, A.J. met Eric on her first trip to Nusa, and now he's her quote-unquote, right-hand, quote-unquote man for her, quote-unquote, move, and maybe more, quote-unquote. I used to have a right-hand man. His name was Fritz and worked at the Red Lobster. We had good times together.

Anywho, back to Nusa. AJ's like, how did you know I was a right-hand man? I could tell. There was the one with the calluses on it. Don't talk to me. I'm in a recording booth. You're not supposed to see me. So they do the AJ Olson, friend, again. And now they're on the beach.

And AJ's like, I was surprised that she was moving here. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. I wasn't expecting it. But then I got it. Yeah. Yeah. I bet that threw you off your game a little bit. Ha ha.

And he's like, yeah, Erica's just like quirky and just fun to be around. I mean, the way that she's always throwing books on the body. It's kind of funny. Yeah. And we are opposite. But I think a good balance, he's dirty and gross and doesn't want to grow up. And I want to grow up. So look, it's funny dynamics, huh?

Well, you could say that. I don't live in reality. I really feel that Erica needs to take a breath and encourage. corporate the universal flow back into a lot. Hey, you know what? You need to incorporate into your life. Some universal deodorant, okay? What the fuck you talking about universal flow?

Get the fuck out of here. Make my latte. So Ian's like, well, I thought I came in to help Erica, but I didn't realize how hard it was going to be because she brought a vagrant along for the house hunt. Well, with the vacancy rate being 0.5% of Nusa heads, really I have nothing else to show her. So I guess I'm just going to see what a bunch of

stinky surfers do and how they live their lives. I just want to advise you, don't let him stay too long anywhere you are because I'm not really sure on rentals, but I'm pretty sure we have squatter rights here. So be careful. So the sharehouse is going to be two minutes from the shops and two minutes from the surf and this way they can go off to morning surfs before work. So they get to the AJ's house and Ian is so disgusted by this. He's like, disgusted in professional.

I'm actually insulted that they have to do this. And he's like, so is this the, is this the quote-to-quote fun house? Know what I'm saying? All the crazy kids making all that cheddar at the cafe? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, isn't it great? I mean, look at this. There's the corner we masturbate in.

And there's the couch that we masturbate on. And there's the TV we masturbate too. And then there's some tissues. Those are for blowing our nose. But if you're masturbating and need something for that, there's socks on the ground. you can always use. That's pretty much it. Also, there's a drum over there, and there's a big collection of pubic hair with a hole that you pee into. It's right over there. And we had a shower,

but we turned it into a bar because, like, let's be honest, who takes showers? I mean, what are we, a bunch of wussies? All right, nobody does that. So, Erica says the last time she was here, there were campers parked on the lawn, and people were in and out of the bathrooms and the bedrooms constantly. And I was like, yep, that's a pass. That's a pass. Pasadena for me. Let's, we already know, X, cross this off. Also, if you're banging this guy, after all, you definitely don't want to be living under the same roof as him. So, yeah, let's say, let's just, we don't have, we don't even have to go inside, okay? Yeah, it's pretty bad. The bedroom is, um, just, you know, a tiny little basement room with the bed in the middle. And she's like, well, my only concern here is

that there's only a ceiling fan and a small window that I could not possibly crawl out of when I need to escape after one of you starts this place on fire with a bong. Like, we know that's going to happen. So. And Ian goes, that's your only concern? I actually think to the credit of the sharehouse, the sharehouse was more modern and, and cleaner than I expected. They did a nice job cleaning it up for TV. I don't think it normally looks as nice as this, but it was, I thought it was going to be just like cracks in the wall and just like just like the shittiest shittiest house but it was it had some modern fixtures to its credit no house with the drum set in the kitchen is ever this clean i just don't believe this like one of their moms came over someone came over to make it nice for sure

yeah i agree with you and then o'clock a j says this so he has there's no air conditioner in the bedroom and so she's like yeah i need air conditioning and a j goes oh well just cranked the fan and if you're still hot you just go outside what where it's hot. That's not how you go to sleep at night. You can't just go outside in the middle of your sleep. And who escapes the summer heat by going outside? If you're still hot, just go outside?

I don't think so. Right directly enter the sun. I mean, come on. So it's 900 a month, which is hilarious. That is way too much. And she goes, yeah, I mean, I'll consider that if it means saving up money for something else. like, oh, God, how much does hydrogen peroxide cost? How much is penicillin here?

Can you get that over the counter or? Yeah, they go in the bathroom and the lid is up and she's like, so I'm sharing the bathroom with somebody. He's like, well, yeah, I mean, you have a roommate here, but we'll teach him to be better. I'm like, there will be no teaching. There will be no improvements of behavior. So she's like, yeah, like I've lived in sharehouses with boys. They don't pee in the toilet.

They pee all over the floor. They leave the seat open. You know, they leave little surprises in the toilet. Yeah, it's not great. Yeah, they go into the kitchen and everything. And there's this drum set in the living room. And so Ian's like, ah, so I noticed there's a drum set who plays? And he's like, well, actually, none of us.

It's just been put here. So when there's parties, anyone can get up and have, you know, they can just play it like a little jam. Well, sometimes even though we don't know how to play, we can just get on there and bang it. Because you know that even if they don't, you know this group, none of them know how to play the drums, but they're going to sit there and they're going to bang them anyway. So what's worse than a drummer is someone who doesn't even know how to play the drums. You have this weird discordant beat. There's literally nothing worse than just having a community drum set.

Okay. But I am competing with that because in L.A., I bought a piano and I was so excited because I've never had a real piano. Like, I've electric pianos, but I've never had like a real piano. I was so excited to get one. No, the first thing people do, they come over and they see that and they all sit down and they start banging stupid shit on this piano. Nobody knows how to play it and they just start banging like chopsticks on there. I'm like, oh, God. And now here's the obligatory 30 minutes.

I have to sit here and listen to play fucking chopsticks badly. I'm getting rid of that thing. Oh, no. Don't get rid of it. You can't get rid of it. No, I'm not getting rid of it. But I am considering getting some kind of a lock to put on the. Yeah, you should do that.

Can you do that? Like, do they have like? I'm sure there's something that you can do where it's like, or just put up a sign that says no touching. Yeah, that's true. Everyone wants to go on that. You have to have it locked. I can't be like,

oh my God, I locked in now I can't find the key. Sorry. I'm sure there's a piano cover lock. I guarantee it. Yeah. There's got to be. I don't know.

So anyway, now she's checking out the kitchen. She goes, oh my God, dirty dishes, my favorite. And he goes, uh-oh. Mom didn't get that one. She's fired. Yeah, they left the, man, you're on TV and you left dirty dishes in there.

No good. Yeah, me goes, well, that's what happens when you live with people. I was like, don't you get snotty now, AJ, okay? Yeah. So Erica's like, yeah, that's right. That's what happens when you live with people, which is kind of my point, babe. So it's like, let's look at the party deak. So they go out and there's a deck, which is nice.

It looks nice. Yeah, it's pretty. It's big. Yeah. And he's like, there's a bit of a viggy golf. out there. It's all grown with poop and pee because the manure is made out of poop and then we pay on it and watermelon comes out. It's amazing. So Ian's like, so what do you think about it? She goes, well, you know, I'm trying to be an adult, right? And the toilet seat up isn't the most

ideal. And it's really close to the beach and cafe culture. And I do like the rent is cheaper. And he's like, yeah, but you know, Phil like, $900 a month, it's definitely worth it. She's like, yeah, but like, I think the trail of pubs going from each room is really kind of to me, so I don't know about that. So, he's like, well, if Ian thought I was trying to take his job, then good, that creates conflict so I can try and get Erica to come live with me. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Like that he's not even subtle.

He's like, nope. I am a toxic male who is trying to get this girl in my house and make a party all the time so she can never save up money and afford to leave me. Good plan, eh? Yeah, I, yeah. So now it's time to consider the places. So the first one that they cross off is the best one.

The Dream Bad is out first. I was so mad. I was like, there's never been a more perfect studio. Like a lot of times when they show studios on this show, they're just awful. They're just, I'm always like,

how does anyone live in this thing? But this one was a damn near perfect studio. That is so expensive. I know, So the $300 could be two days of work. I know, but it's like if you're trying to be an adult, like you can find more adult ways to budget yourself. Yeah, I don't know. It seems just so much more expensive, but it is so much nicer.

And it's close to what she wants to do. And the other one is so far. So she's like, okay, well, this one is a dream. I would be so happy here. Let's cross it off the list. And he's like, yes. If she saved, I just wanted to say if she saves, if she saves $10 every day in a month, she can afford her dream pad. Wow.

Rich dad, poor dad much. I mean, someone's math in. Someone's math. Don't spend 10 extra dollars every month, every day for the month. You have 300 extra dollars in your pocket and you can afford the dream pad. It'll be worth it. Okay. Find ways.

Find ways. You can do it. That's true. So the other place is really far, but it's $1,200, and it's nice. And then the third place is A.J. Sharehouse, which is such a fucking joke. I can't even believe this girl got screwed over and hadn't even pretend she was going to live in this place. So she fakes it, though. She's like, you know, I, oh, so they're talking it over.

And he's like, yeah, that place isn't with it. Get rid of it. And she goes, yeah, in the basement suite's pretty sweet. And he's like, but it's so fall. and so much money on fuel. And she goes, okay, but then there's your house. And your house, you know, like it had a private bedroom, but shared bathroom in the kitchen.

And I don't know, the price is good. And the location is absolutely incredible. So I'm not living there. Are you fucking kidding me? No. No, AJ. She chooses the basement suite home, which I'm just glad she didn't choose the sharehouse. The basement suite home is perfectly fine,

just not as nice as the other one. So now we see three months later. She's made it look very nice. She's wearing this cute yellow outfit and everything. And she's like she keeps it clean. She goes, I'm able to go grocery shopping like an adult would. And she's like, I can put groceries in my fridge. Like the way adults put groceries in their fridge.

Because when I was a child, the way I would take the groceries in is I would just like take the bag and just spill it all out on the floor. But now, I'm an adult. I put it in the fridge. Yep. I'm an adult now. I'm very grown up. The other day for dinner, I ate a breakfast. It was, I'll get used to it.

I'll get used to it. So she's like, this is my adult cave. You can call it that, AJ. He goes, yeah, and you're drinking beers. So that's good. Drink a little more. Drink a little more beer. Drink a little more.

So she basically got used to the 15-minute drive to the beach. And she got a job at the hospital, and she's going to pick up an extra shift. And she's all, she's not really grown up, but like, When she's 30, she'll get her stuff together. So a happy ending for Erica. Yeah, so that was pretty cute. That was a good one. And we never found out what happened to the realtor.

This is one of the only times. I'm going to see the realtor be upset about something. I felt like he deserved it. He was trying to dad her too much. I didn't like it. Yeah. Well, thanks everyone for listening. And thanks.

You said it was Michelle who sent it in? It was Michelle. Thank you, Michelle. Thank you, Michelle. Thank you, Michelle. We will talk to you in a couple weeks. everybody. Thanks for being part of One3 Plus. Bye. Bye.