Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello #523: Act Your Age

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

A young lawyer wants to find a cute home in suburban Austin, but his mom Terry wants him to live it up downtown. Who will win?? This is House Hunters S251 E6 “Act Your Age,” and we watched it on Youtube TV.Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello. And welcome to Dwell Hello. It's a watchwrapins House Hunters podcast. I'm Ben. That's Ronnie. Ronnie, how are you doing today? So well, there's only two more Dwell Hello's left. I can't believe it.

Including this one. This is our penultimate one. And then the grand Dwell Hello finale will be in two weeks. See, you're already ready to get rid of it. You're like, hey, no. Hell no. Well, we're just, we're not saying it's a series. finale. We're just putting it on

indefinite hiatus as being put on pause just so we can you know, we're just going to think about, I don't know why. There's no, there's no thinking about anything. There's no like adjustment. We're just putting it on pause because we've been doing this for like three years. It's a lot of house hunters.

So we're just taking a break. And it may come back in the future. It may not. Who knows? So for right now, this is our second to last one. And we're just going to have fun. And again, if anyone knows any we want to do something absolutely crazy for the last one like someone living in a tree house or someone living in a remote park or there's one that I love my favorite house hunters

of all time maybe we should just dig that one up but I think we have to pay for it that's the only thing I don't want to have to make people pay to watch the dwell hello episodes but there's one where a guy a cheese farmer decided to open up a cheese farm in rural Nepal and it was one of the craziest ones I'd ever seen. Let's do it. That might be hard to dig up. I don't know if we'll actually even be able to find that one. But find us something like that, people.

You've got two weeks. You got two weeks. Those are your marching orders for the grand finale of Dwell Hello. And send us your suggestions to watch or crappins at gmail.com and put in Dwell Hello suggestion in this subject. And let's send us out with a bang, huh? Let's do it. Bang it up, people.

Well, this one is called Househunters. Act Your Age. And this was suggested by Allison. So thank you, Allison. We found this one on, where did we find this one? YouTube TV? YouTube TV. I think I watched this on YouTube.

YouTube TV. I don't remember. I think it was YouTube TV. Yeah. It's called House Hunters Act Your Age. And we start off with Linda, Nathan's, discovering the kidding. what he asked for in Austin may not be everything he hoped for. Between his no-sense nonsense agent and his opinionated mom,

no one wants this single 20-something to take on a fixer in the burbs. What's a boy to do? Yeah. And we see shots of Nathan walking around and looking stuff. And his mom, his mom just already looks so dissatisfied with him. She's got like this really short haircut, the kind of that says, like, I'm a no-nonsense mom. And I'm already disappointed in my son. So I was already on her side.

She's got me and my hair and it's not like power me ma'amaw hair like Mama Dee. Mama Dee had some powerful. This is just me ma'all hair. You know, it's kind of normal. It's like she's ready to go to the salon. She hasn't quite made it there yet. But let me tell you what this woman is full of and that is two ingredients. Pierce and vinegar.

Okay. This lady is a Texas mom. She ain't taking no nonsense. She is not. So, um, it's, we see some shots. around Austin. Did you recognize any of the neighborhoods, by the way, that they were in the episode? Yeah, they were actually in some of the ones we've seen. Sorry. Yeah, I'm like, I'm kidding. Sorry, I have so much energy. I don't know why. But yeah, I recognized them. Sometimes

you'll see an episode in Austin and they're like, wow, right by downtown, round rock. And it's like, girl, that is not right by downtown. They're showing you like far, far suburbs, you know, little places that you don't really want to live. If you're saying, I want to live in Austin, Austin. But this was, yeah, this was Austin. Good neighborhoods. North Lute. Allendale, downtown, east side. It had a door.

To the west side. No, dickety. So we got to bag it up. Am I right? We're bagging up to well. Hello. So Nathan and his mom are driving along and they're like arriving someplace. We don't know where they are.

And the mom is like, what a beautiful day as she gets out of the car. which I feel like they just had an argument and they're trying to mask it for us. Like it just happened and they're like, we're not fighting. The episode only began. I'm very supportive of everything here. And they're going to look at a house

and she's like, and he's like, well, I hope they have coffee. How about you fucking stop at Starbucks? You need a little bit. What are you waiting for the house you're being shown at? But, Connie, it turns out they're actually going to visit

his brother and he's hoping that his brother has made coffee for them. That's what that was about. I had that same talk to you. I was like, where are you going? Where you just expect coffee to be made for you? You're on a house hunt. I'm Nathan.

I'm 25. I live in Austin. I'm a lawyer and I live downtown in a tiny apartment close to my office. And then we see it. And it's, you know, fucking Austin, man. This is not really a nice apartment. It is very tiny. It's a shitty little kitchen.

White appliances, which anybody who watches Atlanta knows is very bad. And it's probably a million dollars. Like it's probably a lot of money. And so he goes in there, you know, and I feel bad because he's not only got a white refrigerator, but he's also got a crooked rug in his kitchen. And I just don't believe this person deserves the house. Like you've got house hunters coming over to film your house and you don't straighten your rug. You know, and I don't need you to spray paint your appliances, but at least straighten your rug.

Yeah, straighten it. I think this guy, as we will eventually find out, ultimately is very comfortable with disorder. So we see he's like, I'm tired of downtown, too much noise, too many bars. And then there's like a lady playing violin on the street. He probably just has to go to that caba on like Congress every single day for lunch. And he's like, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of a fast casual bowl. I just loved the example.

It's like, God, downtown is just so noisy. He's partying every place. And it's like a girl peacefully playing a violin. You know, it's like, dude, dude, dude. He's like, sick of these partiers. I just want to go home and go to bed. Yeah. He says, I've never opened, I've never owned a house, but now it seems like it might be the right time because I'm exhausted. They just cut to the violin player again. She's like, damn it. I'm trying to sleep. She's so menacing.

She's like, oh, do you want to hear a slight disturbance to the sound? A dinga donga. He gets out of the car, knocks on the door, and we find out that his mom's going to help him. Let's meet his mom. She's like, that's me. She does this thing where she keeps flaring her eyes at the camera. Like, I don't know. She's flirting with us. I don't know what she's doing, but she's like, that's me. I'm married to my partner, Roger, for 35 years. And we live in San Antonio. Like, are you coming on to me? Why is my zipper coming undone?

I love her. Her name is Terry, which you would know that if you just saw her face. Like, that's a Terry. Here comes Terry. I know her name is Terry already. She sort of looks like a fist in a good way. And she flares her eyes a lot. And Nathan is like, yeah, mom, she's, she's had a lot of houses and she sends me listings every morning at 5.

5.30 a.m. You just know, Terry wakes up. She's like, Roger, you better wake up. It's time to send our sons some listings. He's got to act his age. And we see, she's very proud of Nathan and we see a picture of him graduating. And his dad looks kind of like a soprano's guy. He's like, and then Terry is really into polka dots. She's wearing her belly. polka dots for the graduation and Nathan is wearing a lay in his pick so I don't know where he graduated from I don't think maybe like university of LA maybe University of Hawaii or something like that mm-hmm it looked like it was actually to me it looked like it almost more like an indigenous kind of like ribbon the thing I couldn't get I didn't

see the full picture but I did notice it was like a rainbowy kind of I think it was like a pink flower necklace thing, which I just call a lay. I mean, I don't know. Either way, it was like way too much personality for this guy. It was. But I think he's kind of cute this guy. I mean, he's kind of slubby. And he hangs out with his mom too much probably.

But I don't know. I thought he was kind of cute. I was watching this. I was like, Ron, you should date this guy. He should fight him and Austin and date him. No, we're too similar because he wants to be in bed all the time. I want to be in bed all the time. I don't want to be in bed with somebody all the time.

Like bed is a place where I go to not be around people. You know, I mean, it's nice, you know, when you're doing the deed or whatever, but otherwise, go away. Yeah, he would actually hear you. But the only person in might have overplayed. Yeah. So they arrived make out with him. He was cute. He was really cute.

So they arrive. So we're with his brother and sister-in-law. The sister-in-law says nothing this episode. She just sits there in her hipster outfit. And she just has her arms crossed and stairs. And she's like this. Like, you know what? I made this really nice.

pour over coffee and I've got to give half of it to your mother who hates me and your brother who just wants to copy us no matter what we do. We moved to Hipser neighborhood and now he just wants to follow us. We're having a talk after this show is done shooting. Yeah, she does have one line coming up. But she doesn't look very interested and I don't think she likes him. So Terry is like, well, I told Nathan, he needs to stay downtown.

But he wants to live out where you guys live. Loserville. I mean, look at Nathan and look at his brother. Could you look at him? One look I've got beautiful beautiful Dick, Dick Tracy over here is my son and then you've got fucking Homer Simpson over here as my other son. Wow. Where'd he come from? And the guy's like, oh, will you like candy?

So he's like, yeah, you could be the person living downtown and condos living by the lake. And the sister-in-law is like, yeah, but you're a bachelor enjoying life. You need to just go out there and live. Don't settle down with Homer Simpson. and just forget everything. I'm not even close to a grocery store. This is kind of a funny episode because the normal twist is that the parent is saying

it's time for you to grow up. You can't be a bachelor forever. You got to put away your video games. You got to get like a proper house. You got to get rooms for children. You have to have an office. You have to be an adult. And this one, she's like,

you're 25. Get back into the city and start bargaining more. Don't go into the suburbs. I know. The mom's like, can I offer you some advice? cocaine please do something you're the least cool son I've ever known but the brother's like yeah you could be in one of the con you could be living by the lake live by the lake he's like but I don't want to be by I don't want to be with those people I

don't want to be like like people I want to go to bed I want to go to a house that has a bed why can't there ever be a house that has a bed in it and the brother tells him you are the oldest young man I've ever met and the brother it looks like the oldest young man I've ever met because that guy is not moisturizing. So Terry is like, yeah, he's been an adult for as long as I remember. When he's 30, he's going to be 60.

And then Nathan, there's like a weird pause and then Nathan goes, I came out 30. Don't you dare to watch your goddamn mouth. You better go back in that quality. I feel like, I feel like Terry was like, you know, we practice this bit. When I say

he's going to be 30, when he's going to be 30, he's going to be, when he's 30, he's going to be 60, you're supposed to say right away, well, I already came out already. What was up with that pregnant pod? Did you not remember your line? You had one line for our comedy bit, and now it just got ruined here on HGTV.

You're supposed to say I was born 60, not I came out 60, because everybody's going to think I raised a fruit loop. Okay. Sarah's like, do we have to go over your comedy routine? Like, I literally need to make some more pour over because you guys drank it all. Don't forget the punchline to every joke.

Mama knows. Okay. Hey, why did the chicken cross the road? Mama knows. So then Nathan, who doesn't want to be around people, announces that he needs a three-bed, three bath. What? Why?

If you're trying to be away from people and you're just trying to basically get home from work and have like some solace and use that to work and go to sleep, why do you need three bedrooms and three bathrooms? That's what I need. But like, why does he do that? I'm alone and I want to get away from people.

Here's why you need three bathrooms. Someone's going to stay. Terry's going to be there staring all the time. And then you, she needs her own bathroom, but also I need two bathrooms because I need one bathroom for when I shuffle out of bed. And then I need one close to the PlayStation. Okay. Okay. All right.

Now it's making sense. Yeah. That's how it's how it rolls. I still think it's a big ass considering what he really is, what he is explaining. I guess I understand have another room for when Terry comes up from San Antonio, have a bathroom for her, but I think that takes you to two bedroom, two bathrooms, unless the office is going to count as that third bedroom. I'm not sure. So he wants to spend 800,000. And Terry is like, don't you think $6.50 is where you should start? And shouldn't you be in the city? And shouldn't you not be looking for a house in the first place, sissy boy? Get back in there and party it up.

Yeah, but you're not going to get anything for sex. Like she should know better. Austin, you're not getting anything for sex. I can tell you can't even get a torn down, that needs a complete remodel for six. There's no way in hell. You're spending $900 to a million for the bottom, the bottom homes, I think. Yeah. So Nathan's like, listen. No, the mom's like, Nathan, I need you to listen.

You need to be in a home that's 600 or less specced out, and I need you to relax. And he goes, but I will relax. I'm going to relax remodeling a house. And he tells them. He also said, he also said, he wants something that he could put his mark on because he wants to paint something and he wants to add his kitchen he wants to do projects which is funny because he does nothing about him sounds like someone who wants to do this but he really wants to do this he wants to yeah he's

really into it but I think a lot of guys say that and then they do it and it's it's hard I did it it's hard as fuck I was thinking about you I was like God I can't it's like hard to even go back to that like last year it was last year right that you just like in a construction podcasting from a construction zone and was like months. It was never ending. It was like always a new story and some chaotic thing that happened. But I wasn't doing it alone. You know, I just did the design part. I'm like I painted and stuff, but I had people doing it. But yeah, this guy I think really wants to get a screw gun. You know, because a lot of guys are like, I'm getting a drill and I'm doing the whole house myself. It's like, and then they watch on YouTube how to change a countertop and then the sink's always leaking and we all,

we all know those guys, you know. And I think he's one of those guys. And I feel for him. I tried to, I tried to fix this squeaky chair. And I like, I turned it over. I like examined. I did all the things. I couldn't do it. I was like, I'm calling someone.

I can't do this by myself. This is just not my ministry. But it's still squeaking. I know because I didn't fix it. Oh, but look at mine. Look what I'm doing right now. Rocking back and before. Look what's not happening.

You know what I did? You know what I did? You know the trick? I found the L wrench that it came with and I tightened the shit out of every bolt, Except for the arms, because look, like when I change positions, you can hear the arms. But I need to go back at it and do the arms. But man, I went crazy on this chair. And now I'm living and no one's complained.

I will tend to it at some point. There's just been so much to do. It's like the chair is the least of my priorities. Okay. So chair anxiety aside, Nathan is saying he tells us that he wants to have chickens and a pool. Sure. And then he says, everybody want chickens lately. I don't know.

It's like our third house hunters in a row where someone wanted a fucking chicken. What are so great about chickens? Chickens are assholes. And the wife swap too is just like, stop fetish. I mean, like chickens are, I think chickens are amusing. But they belong on a farm. They don't belong in the back of your suburban home in Austin. So Nathan also says, my last house had a pink kitchen.

He says that actually he said that the house that he grew up in had a pink kitchen. and so he wants something like that. Because if there's a guy on house hunters, he just needs to live out his childhood home on TV for us. It's this guy. Yeah. He wants mid-century modern. He wants something as old as he feels.

Okay, guys. So they're driving and they're in a typical Austin neighborhood. You know, Austin's full of weirdos. And the mom's like, well, that's kind of strange to have a sign on the road with the cat on it instead of pedestrians. Could you imagine? Cat crossing. Come on. What has happened into this country at this point? Cats crossing the road and we have to stop our car for it.

No, we hit those cats. So this is up first is a mid-century fixer in his brother's neighborhood 20 miles from downtown. In Allendale, houses were built in the 50s with room for families and for cats that like to cross the road. Yeah, so this is a cute neighborhood. It's really old and it's not completely redone yet, but it's getting there. It's getting there. So he found one for $6.99, which I thought was super cheap. But then you see what it is.

And the mom's like, that's a lot of money, Nathan. Our first house was $80,000. And he's like, that was in 1989. And she goes, 1988. I'm like, damn. Yeah. She's like, I remember the year it was. We decided to save pennies.

He's like, well, you know, I didn't have a wedding either. And so now we go in. It's brick house, you know. And we meet Lisa America Mergin, but she goes by America. And she's the real estate agent. And she is a lot of sass on her, too. Yeah, I don't call her America because there's only two Americas. There's the one we live in and America Ferrara.

And no one else will get that crowd from me, ma'am. Yeah, it's so funny, I was reading Reddit yesterday, randomly a thread about TV shows who star left. And someone was complaining about America Ferrer. It's like, oh, yeah, America Ferreira left Superstore early. People hated her on the set of that. They said she was so mean that she acted better than everyone. I was like, I love the random America Ferreira superstore slander. How can America Ferreira be mean?

She was ugly Betty. She has to be nice. Yeah. You mean Oscar nominee, America Ferreira? Hell yeah. So Lisa is like, well, this is what, oh, the Lisa is the agent, America. I should have called her America in these notes. So she's like, oh, well, this is what you.

that you wanted projects, quirks, so I'm going to give it to you. Welcome to the shittiest house I could find, Nathan, you stupid face. And the place, it just looks decrepit. She's like, yeah, this house needs a little bit of inspection and some work. And, you know, it needs an exorcism, needs to be smudged. It also needs to be destroyed, torn down, and actually, like, never lived in ever again. But, you know, enjoy. The mom's like, the mom's like, I wore my best denim jumper dress for this.

little bitch. And Lisa's like, okay, guys, let's set our intentions with this home. Okay? Our intentions are this is a project home. Okay, you said you wanted to live in the projects and this is what it looks like. Get in here. I met Nathan at his brother's holiday party and basically we ran into each other. We both said we don't want to talk to people and he said he had a dream of one day moving

into the shittiest house in a neighborhood and I said, I could find that for you. And here we are. Yep, he wanted a low price. So I got him a low price. Listen, when I find someone else who refuses to comb their hair, I'm going to do whatever they want. Okay. So they go in to this hovel and, you know, wood floors. It's definitely like an old house.

It's not, I mean, I would say it's like pretty much like a terrible house. But there were some elements I did liken it throughout, but I would not say I was drawn to this place very much. Did you like it? No, this was that little brick. This was that kind of brick one with a bad roof and stuff. No, but I did like that it had all the original wood floors. That's really rare on this show. You know, it is a mid-century modern.

It did have all the original floors. I think this one they could do a cute job remodeling, but not by himself. I mean, this one, you need pros. Like this is like a pipe work and stuff. Like there's a seal. At one point, they're in the hallway and they're like, what's up with the ceiling? Because the ceiling looks crazy. And he touches it.

and the ceiling actually like, it's like not attached. It's why wood. It's why wood that they barely painted. Like you can still see parts of the wood under it. Yeah, this one's really bad. But they like the new windows in the front because they have cranks on them. So they go look at some of the bedrooms. And they're all fairly the same.

The wood floor runs through the whole house. The shit ceiling, you know, we talked about. And Lisa's like, you know what I would do? I would get rid of these ceilings and have higher ceilings. Okay, Lisa. What are we even going this ceiling in the first place or just wood that's been laid across the hallway? I'm not even sure this is the ceiling Yeah, move that wood and boom you got high ceilings Lisa. Okay, so I like the bathrooms I like the mom planning she's like I haven't seen a light fixture here. I like

Yeah, and then there's a closed off kitchen which he likes and it looks like terrible the cabinets are shit. They're They're all stained. They're gross. There's a whole chunk of the floor missing in the middle of the kitchen. And she's like, yeah, I think that's an island. They must have taken the island. Sorry. It's a pretty narrow kitchen. And so, like, I think it probably is a good idea to remove that kitchen island or maybe it was a peninsula. But I don't know. It's definitely. Yeah. It's, I don't, I don't see how this works. And then there's like this. there's like this bathroom close to the kitchen or off the kitchen and the bathroom is funky. It's like wooden on the inside and it turns out there's like a hot tub in the bathroom and it's like red. It's kind of crazy. I actually kind of like the look of the bathroom. I like that kind of like dark wooden vibe.

It's like sort of funky. But the hot tub, the red hot tub, the maroon hot tub in the bathroom off the kitchen was definitely a choice. Yeah, that was a lot. Really, it was very 70s like swinger. like hey want to come into the hot tub in our bathroom yeah um so he says we're going to need a lot of money to make this work and lisa goes no you're going to need a lot of money to make this work fucking frac stupid little kid brother i also um uh we also go uh to this back room and i this is the room i like the most actually there was like this big sort of like potential living room den area

that had like I didn't like the tiling because I thought that was cold but I like the kind of look of the room the size and the lighting that was in there and I could definitely see that being like kind of with some updates that could be like a cozy den area in the back of the house yeah that one was cool it had saltio floors they painted the fireplace which was not great but and everyone's pissed about that and the mom's like I've had a 1950s house and that was a lot of work okay and that was in the 1950s I mean cheese so she's She says, you know, at 25, I was in a 400 square foot apartment. Okay. So, you know, this is going to cost a lot of money. And I don't know if it's worth it. And so they check out the, they go back to the back, right? And there's a salarium back there, like beyond the den, right? I thought this room could be cute.

I like this laryn as well. I thought this back section was like, I had a character, which I liked. But again, so much work needs to be done. Yeah, I think a lot of it could be painting and just cleaning up the floors. and this house would look okay. Yeah. But then they go, they go to the backyard

and it looks like a junkyard back there. And it just looks terrible. And there are these sheds. And she's like, yeah, so we have some sheds. I'm not going to take you in them because I'm not sure if it's safe for us to go in there because of stability issues. Yeah.

You could die. We could look at the shed, but you could die, loser. You want to try it? I wouldn't. But she is kind of a typical realtor. They walk into this dumpy ass backyard. It looks like shit.

It's like chain link fence. Dumpy shed's about to kill you. You know, doesn't look like the greatest neighbors. Like two houses down, there's one of the McMansions where they knock down the tiny house and then build the farmhouse modern thing, which is all over Austin. And it's not looking great. So they walk out there and she goes, you could put a pool there. Okay. Let's go inside.

It's like the laziest thing that realtors say. Put a pool there. Just put it there. So they're like, okay, well, the mom is obviously like, this is, she's like, this neighborhood is nice. She's like, I'm lying. I don't even like the neighborhood. I think it's a big project. He's like, yeah, but this is what I wanted, but it's work.

I'm like, please. I was like, in my mind, I was watching it. I was like, please, house hunters, why are you wasting our time? Can we get to the actual real candidates now? Yeah. So the agent finds what mom has been looking for, but it comes with a pre-examers. Rice. Your soul, your soul, your soul, your soul.

So the mom's like, well, honey, I saw places that you could hang out in the evening with friends, you know, if you made them. Or people, women with boobies, if you could ever talk to them. Wouldn't that be fun, honey? And he's like, well, I do hang out at a bar close to here. And so they go downtown. And the mom is so nervous because she wants him to love this house. because, you know, he could, maybe there's a chance of him eventually getting a life and giving her a grand baby or something. Yeah.

So then she's like, the only thing that concerns me is the price, 700K. But that's within his budget, so not an issue. So it's an 800 square foot place. And she's like, well, it's an investment. And the location, it's like, but I'm trying to get away from the downtown noise. I was like, where's the violin player? Yeah, the violin player is like the sidewalk. Go damn it

I'll never tell So this is their east side bungalow So the east side of Austin has been A lot of it's really trendy now and redone And looks cute So I guess this is an area that they haven't quite gotten to yet But should be worth something in the future This is probably the best buy as far as neighborhoods

So this one's from 1927 And She's like well it's not a stairwell it's not a sterile new build and I like this area for him and I think this is cute it's like a tiny little house it's been redone I love this one it's got like baby blue walls which I could do without but you could just paint that yeah and there was also a room somewhere in here that had like navy walls and he was like that I was like that yeah that was nice I thought the navy walls looked wonderful yeah the they walk in and and then Lisa also says

by the way it's I know it's tiny but it comes to the camper for workspace and you know they're like, huh? So there are, you know, it's a good house. I think it's like a legitimately good house. The kitchen looks good. It has a stone countertop. There's open shelving and he's like really upset about that. He's like, I guess I have to get nice dishes to show off because, you know, you can't hide them.

I'm like, you don't have to. And then they go to the backyard and there's a food truck that's kind of like embedded in the deck outside. And I actually loved that. I thought that was so cool. I felt like it was so Austin-y. And I was like, I think that's like fun for people to stay in or it's a cool workspace. I have a little airstream. Yeah, I thought, did I say food truck?

I meant to say airstream. Well, the mom said food truck. That's probably why he said it because she was like, what is that? A food truck? That's an airstream, ma'am. How dare you? Yeah, it's an air stream. I thought I'd like that.

What did you think about that touch? I thought it was really cool. Yeah, it is really awesome. You see those all over the place. I thought it was super cute, you know, get some air conditioning in there. And it was done all 70s style. I thought that was really cute. But the backyard was super tiny.

And there was only like a tiny little deck between, it looked like a hallway, basically, between the back door and the airstream. And the realtor is like, you could have a barbecue here. Just put a pool there. Put a barbecue a pool right there. I like that there wasn't not much room between the house and the airstreams. That way you can go between the two of them without like dealing with too much weather. Yeah.

It's just saying she said you could have a barbecue. I know. You're not going to have a barbecue out here. You could rent a ferris wheel and put it right here. It's like, what are you talking about, Lisa? You should have a ferris wheel on a pool. That's what you need. Put it right there.

I loved it. I thought this house was great. I thought this was the obvious choice, you know. And who cares that there's no yard. That wasn't part of his needs. He didn't need a yard. He doesn't have a dog. He just needs a quiet place, a quiet, cute place.

And Lisa's like, well, the mom is focused on him having a life after work. Okay. When the average person stays in their home for five years, well, this person stays in their home 25 hours a day. Okay, so. By the time I'm five years from now, it's going to be 45 years from now because I'm old. Okay, honey, you know what? Let's just, we're tabling the joke.

Okay, you didn't land it the first time. Don't do a callback. Well, the agent found a place that's bigger, but it might not be what Nathan has in mind. And so we see him driving with his mama again. And he goes, hey, mama, did I turn the beans off? I might have forgotten to. And she's like, well, I thought I knew where the car keys were this morning. I didn't.

He's like, look at us. Two old bitches driving to town. So you bought your goddamn man. So now we're at this bigger house. And, you know, the mom's like, oh, my God. Like this house looks. Terry's like it looks revamped. So they go in and first they meet up with America and America is just like, I don't know,

a shoe bearer maybe like a little jacket or something. And Terry's like America looks like a movie star. Oh my God. How did you find this realtor? We are so lucky. Look how glamorous. She's just wearing a pair of pants. This is so funny.

I was like, what is glamorous about that outfit? What movie, league of their own? Like, what are you talking about? And so there's no garage. And so America's like, oh, look at this. The exterior has plenty of parking. And he's like, there's no garage. He goes, you get out of carport.

Just put a carport in a pool, you fucking moron. Jesus, your brother said you were dumb. He's like, it's so noisy. It's the main road. She goes, well, you won't hear it inside. I mean, okay, you could look, you could even have coffee on the front patio. Wouldn't that be nice, coffee while you listen to the cars go by on the main road? She actually is a very funny realtor because she's,

doesn't really care about anything he says he's like it always she goes go inside okay well this roof doesn't work lift it up you'll have you'll have a vault and ceiling fucking whiner and then she tries to pull like the um you're new here kid card because she goes um we've all purchased multiple homes so i think based on our experience we should we should guide him to a home that needs less work so you don't really have a say in this your mom and i will tell you where you should go yeah so um this one is a very typical austin rebuild all of them are exactly like this they look like the farmhouse modern on the outside you open them up they all have the plate the light blonde wood plank flooring the living room spread all the way to the kitchen and then tiny little bedrooms

every single one looks like this so it's kind of the typical but i think it's cute it's nice though That's the thing. It's nice. And if you wanted to have more character, well, then that's where your project is. Your project is building in the character. Because I think this is, it's like a nice layout. It's very bright. I think it was actually staged very, very nicely. Yes, it's all just white.

But again, that's your project. If you don't want to be all white, then go and paint it and add some qualities. Play with the lighting. But I think the house itself is, this is a really good one too. I really, I like the open, more open layout. of this one more, but I really like the air stream in the house number two. And that kind of was, I like that that was so unique that that I was leaning towards house number two versus this one. But I like this one too. Well, this one actually has a really

cute shed, but it's actually another apartment. And I thought this one was pretty cool. I mean, this beats the air stream. Although the air stream is good to have, but this one is way cooler than the air stream. I mean, it's an actual functioning apartment. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this one was super cute. Every room looked exactly the same, but it was just very well put together. The kitchen was really pretty. Yeah, I mean, this would be great. And where is this?

What did they say? Oh, this is the east side, right? No, wait. I don't remember, but there's a fence and they put like the trees. Oh, this is North Loop, they say. So the trees go through the fence and they're like, it's like a horror movie. I'm like, it's fine. It's trees.

Well, yeah, wait until there's a storm because they'll knock those trees right into the fence. Suckus. So what were you going to say about North Loop? Yeah, that's like a nice area. I mean, it's not close to downtown, but he doesn't want that. But it's not far from anything either. It's got its own city there, you know, like its own grocery stores and stuff like that. That's a nice area in North.

I think also, oh, go ahead. Being that he's 25, this really is not going to be his forever home. And I think that America is on to something like you're going to live here for like five or seven years. And then you'll move. So like kind of view it a little bit as an investment too. Yeah, you got to resell it. So, what's that? No, nothing.

Trend? Disregard. Is that what you mean? Like, it's too trendy? Well, I was going to say, like, I guess in all the houses, they're going to be, their value is going to go up a lot regardless, even the shit one. Yeah, because this is a new one. How much is this one? Seven or 680?

I think they said 680, right? Let me like, like, going back at 689. And the other one that's a complete shit needs a total rehaul is 600 or a 690 wait 600 It was six it was something like six 99. Yeah, I think it was six 99 so I think that one was more and then yeah it's bigger but he's gonna have to put like a hundred and fifty into it I think that one the the shit box He'd like that to not have open an open concept and it is as more house for the money whereas house number two for instance is is is is on the high end of the budget and is only 800 square feet, which is the same size as this current apartment. So I think that's where like this is this one.

This one is, I don't remember how big this one was. Oh, darn it. Well, this one's small too, but it has that extra apartment. So they like it. This is right on a busy street, which isn't great. And he's not into it. He's like, it's noisy. There's no character.

And at the end of the day, you got nothing for nothing. and it's my decision and I'm decisive. So, Linda's like, well, Nathan has to listen to his mom and find a place downtown or cover with his old man tendencies. So now we discuss. So he's like, well, he's like, I know you like the place downtown mom, but the other place will give me things to work on. She's like, you'll take on too much like asbestos and tetanus when you step on all those males. I don't want to pay for that. And Lisa's like, that's going to take a lot of your money.

immediately idiot. And he's like, well, but then House 2 had that tiny house trailer thing. That was nice. And they both liked that one. But he's like, I need projects. And guess what? He picked the dumpy one, the first one. I could not believe it.

I thought the dumpy one was purely just like, that was just like a dog that they threw in there. I thought he was going to take house number two 100% because of the airstream was like had some, that was unique. I was honestly shocked he chose house number one. to me was so by far the worst it was terrible I couldn't believe he took it I would have taken number two as well just because that's you know that's in a kind of up and coming area it's trendy it is close to downtown though which he probably hates so yeah he took the dumpy one that's just too much work I'm sorry he's not going to be able to do that by himself yeah if you if look if he's just wants stay in his apartment and he can he can afford having those like two spaces for a little bit while

there's a crew in there fixing it up, then God bless. But that's going to be a long time. He goes, realistically, there's a couple of months work to do. I'm like, that's going to be more than a couple of months. And that's going to be more expensive than it looks because I think they're going to discover mold. They'll discover this. They'll body dead rabbits.

Who knows what. It's all going to be. This was the best move on his part. Not a great move, buddy. Not a good one, buddy. But, you know, and also at the end of these episodes, I like when they show kind of what they've done with the house. And this one, they didn't even.

bother. He's just like, well, here I am having a beer, having a beer in the kitchen. There's like a cord hanging out of the wall. It's like a wire hanging out of the wall. And then there's still nothing filling in the floor where the island used to be. And he's like, but I love it. No. Oh, God. I appreciate his fortitude and his vision, but I do not see it. I don't see it either. Plus his heart. Mom, his mom's like, why? Why? We could have, I could have stayed in that airstream. Why would you do this to me? Yep.

Well, that's the end of that one. All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here with us for Dwell. Hello. Send us your suggestion for the grand finale in two weeks. And we'll talk to you next time. Bye, everyone. Bye.