Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello: Searching for a Chicago Condo

Episode Date: December 31, 2021

This week on Dwell Hello, we're recapping House Hunters: season 200, ep 13 - "Searching for a Chicago Condo," available on YouTube TV.Will Kevin get what he wants? But what about Kevin? So many Kevins, not enough time!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Well, hello and welcome to Duel Hello! It's a Watch Your Crappens Househunders podcast. I'm Ben, that's Ronnie, what's up Ronnie? What happened? How are you doing today? So great, how are you? I am great, I'm excited because today's episode of

that we're going to be recapping is one that I caught over the summer and thought was so funny. In the back of my mind I said if we ever do dwell hello again we have to talk about this episode and it has arrived here. So welcome everyone. This is our show where we recap house owners episodes and the house hunters world. And today we are recapping searching for a Chicago condo, which is from season 200 episode 13,

which as of recording, we found it on YouTube TV. Sometimes I think the problem with the titles of these shows is they really aren't descriptive enough. If I saw searching for a Chicago condo, I would have just, I don't know, I wouldn't have felt like I have to watch that. There's nothing that tells me how great this episode is in that title.

It needs to be like Citigah Country Gay, no, or like it's just better ways to title. It needs to be like Citigay Country Gay, you know, or like, it's just better ways to title. This is just too bland for this episode. I agree. And we know this episode is going to be amazing right from the literal, for opening three seconds when the narrator Linda says, now that Kevin's long distance partner, also named Kevin is back to Chicago. And like, that's all you need to, it's like, okay, I'm done. Kevin and Kevin. Kevin and Kevin! Now that Kevin's moving back to Chicago for good, I was like, oh, where was Kevin?

He was like, bye, fuck you, I'm leaving, okay, I'm back, come back. These two Kevin's can buy a house together, but while this Kevin is willing to compromise, this Kevin is definitely not. And we see it, even Linda gets a little gay in it. She's like, hmm. That Kevin's definitely not gonna compromise. Am I right, girls? Linda is just totally disgusted by a dual Kevin relationship.

She's like, oh, because like all episode long every time she speaks, she goes, this Kevin and his boyfriend also Kevin. Like, can you believe it, Padmo? Oh my God, really? And the whole, we get the previews of the upcoming episode is basically like one Kevin going, oh my God, look, I love this beam.

And the other Kevin, I'm like, hideous, wanna die, killing, kill me with the beam. Make me from it, ate it. This is the most awkward thing I've ever seen. You can find something to be big about every place we've been to. That's my gaffed, that's my gaffed. So ding dong. Here we are in Chicago, Illinois,

and they're kissing their little dogs, a little dog baby. And the blonde skinny tall one, okay. Also, they've both got this thing that I always notice in people who are not that bright where they're always raising their eyebrows to act smart, like opening their eyes really wide and raising their eyebrows. So it seems like they're making a point that they never really are. And both of these do that. Yes. And they also sort of have the same haircut. Um, so they are in a one bedroom apartment. And actually, it's one of the few times in house hunters where the starting

house is actually pretty good. So, um, they, that we, we meet them and because I'm Kevin, I go by K2 because, um, and they just cut the other one and goes, I'm Kevin also. I go by K1. and they just cut the other one and goes, I'm Kevin also, I go by K1. Yeah, well, are you going in order of hotness? Because K1, oh my god, love you, love you. I see K1, I say KY. Get over here, you little rascal.

I was just in my mind, I was like, how do we work at KY joke into this? And thank you for doing it for me, because mine went very strange. Lois-t hanging fruit of all time I'm just kind of tented so so he's like what talk to Number two He's like I'm having both the same names isn't as hard as you think it's mostly hard for our families kind of

But it was also hard for them to just stop calling us the gaze like my dad. Hey gay you drinking tonight Have a name dad, okay? They call me K2, because I'm the younger of the two. Am I right? Yeah, and K1 goes, and I'm the wiser of the two, so I'll accept K1 for that. See, I like being named after a tax form, and I like being named after a deadly mountain.

I have to say that I like when K2 is so self-involved that he could when he says like oh yeah Like having the same names isn't really like that hard except for like our family and friends like so basically It's annoying for every single person like your family and friends. That's the most annoying thing ever Hi, it's Kevin there. Which one? The hot one, please, please just give me the hot one. Thank you. The tax on the mountain. One, the one I love, walks in and he's like, oh my god, Charlie, look, we have some

pair for you. You're a favorite. So they send them the same thing. The opening scene, cutting a pair for their dog, baby. The entire scene. K1 is slicing a pair. And you know that Charlie doesn't like pair. Charlie's like, I want a fucking piece of meat.

I'm sick of these pears. I know, Charlie's like, and then they get mad at me for having loose poop. Okay. You know, they do. You know, they've like taken Charlie to like many dog therapists. Be like, what is mom and Charlie's acting out?

All his poop is soft. It can be the pears or the pomegranates or the grapes. I mean, come on. He had a salad for dinner. I mean, that should be some such and give him some good roughage. So they have, like, there's clearly an underlying tension between the two of them because while K1 is like slicing

this pair up eternally, he's making just general pattern with his boyfriend. He's like, well, it was a good trip overall I mean the flights are always long, but I'm glad to be back I don't know if you're happy to have me back, but I'm glad to be back. That's for sure Yeah, and they tell us about themselves one is like well I would definitely say we're opposites Kevin is much more type A We book her every now and then because he can be too much with that and then two is like well

I think I get pegged with that, but hey listen It's not any shame in pegged him, okay? Kevin wears a tank top every day even under t-shirts like he is now I mean if it's type A to call Craig Ray on that put me at the start of the alphabet and call it a day So they've been living together for the past seven years, but Kevin moved to Alaska three years ago, because I'm sorry, K1 moved to Alaska three years ago, because he's a nurse practitioner. And so, I was like, yes, so I went to Alaska

because I had student loans and it was a great financial opportunity. I mean, you would not believe the amount of money that only fans generate in Alaska. People are bored up there. God, I was gonna say, you know what else there is in Alaska? Men, lots and lots of men. Only men, all kinds of men who don't really have much option.

Okay. I just like doing like deadliest catch or something up there. Well, I was catching crabs, you know what I'm saying. Okay. So then, two tells us, well, we've lived together seven years. Well, Kevin moved to Alaska for a while, about three years ago, but, you know, I work on an airline, so at least we could see each other on a whim sometimes. And two is so obligatory. Like I could so see two being a bitchy fly attendant. Oh, yes, very much so. And so K2 is like, well, you know, he's eager to buy something.

I'm hesitant because I love where we live currently. Unlike him, I don't like to leave. I'll just like hang in the air there and you can make see the tension that was in my voice. Oh, really? But I'm still waiting to get my wings. I mean, he works for an airline and he's never brought me wings. still waiting to get my wings. I mean, he works for an airline

and he's never brought me wings. Elegences earned my friend. Okay, Elegences earned, bitch. So right now we live in River North and I'm really nervous about taking ownership of a home because I've just not done that. And the toughest part is gonna be finding something that's good for the both of us

because one of us has tastes and one of us is, well, Kevin number one. well, Kevin number one. So, Kevin number one, Kevin number one is clearly exasperated with K2, this entire top. He's like, well, I feel like if we can find a nice loft with hardwood floors and wooden beams, we can bring some rustic elements.

That would be great. I'm sorry, you said rustic again. It just automatically makes me gag. Oh, so one is like, I grew up in rural Texas and that was more rustic in some ways. So I like to bring that to wherever I am. And two is like, well I grew up in Illinois. So when I hear rustic, all I hear is dusted. Okay, I like clean aesthetics, clean modern high rise.

I do not like things with character look my last Me that say more Hey Kevin, how about I just go to Michael's and throw some straw on the floor is that rustic enough for you? I love somebody who says I don't like things with character. I know that was like the first time It's ever been finally stated on house hunters like it's something that we've always assumed But he's the first one who's ever been finally stated on House Hunters. Like it's something that we've always assumed, but he's the first one who's like, I don't like character. I mean, Disneyland has decent rides, but have you seen all the characters seriously? And that's already making me ask, like fuck off.

Can I just go on space mountain without you trying to bomb me? So K1 is like, well, I would like a nice kitchen, you know, with space, you know, I like to prepare and cook things, and K2 goes, well,, I would like a nice kitchen, you know, with space, you know, I like to prepare and cook things and K2 goes Well, and I just want a pretty kitchen. I don't cook a lot. Yeah, he just eats everything Are you saying him that? How dare you that was so character of you That's probably by the way the most vicious thing you could say in public to your gay husband is he just eats everything That is like throwing down in a gay couple. He's an ear. Yeah, so

Number one's like I would like to have some space, you know And number two's like I want outdoor space. That's what I want and Kevin one goes you know what I need a nice fan in the bathroom because you know I love a fan that's not too noisy, right? He goes, well that's oddly specific, but I'll write that down on our list. Yeah, and then Mr. like shading for all these specifics is, okay, I want to be in a two block radius of where we are. We love our neighborhood.

Look, there's a coffee shop and a gym. Yeah, I don't know any other neighbors that have those amenities. I know, nowhere in the city, is there a block like this? I mean, that's a coffee shop and a gym. Yeah, I don't know any other neighbors that have those amenities. I know, nowhere in a city, is there a block like this? I mean, that's crazy. Nobody, nobody, people say like, I'll do like a mile radius, where there's two blocks within two blocks. And when says,

Well, I would like to look at others that could maybe be more affordable, maybe more house for the, maybe more house for the many, a further out. And two just looks at him like, God, what next? A horseshoe on the wall, one of those stars. So once I, yeah, we need to three bedroom to bass and two, like, we can get away with two. I'm open to three, but I doubt we can afford that on your whatever salary, okay? Only fan is what they should call it. Really Ollie cares about anyway. He's only got one of them. So Ed. And it's a moose for crying out loud.

So K-1 is like, like, well, I'm open to going over 700,000. Absolutely not. So well, we'll see about this. So, yeah, this is a kind of relationship, because number two is like, I'm only spending 600K. That's it, line in the sand. I will not go above that. I do not want to be house poor. Well, we can maybe do 650 or seven. What part of the sand did you not understand?

Okay. Okay. So now they go to house number one, which is like two blocks away and we meet their realtor Nick and Nick is full, is all full of jokes. He goes, so do I need to tell you where you guys are? Ah, you know, because your, your place is right there, you know, or to us. Yeah, we're right at a satire building. Oh my God, River North, I got it.

Okay, he says it in his sleep. River God, River North. I got it. Okay. He says it in his sleep. River North. River North. Did you notice that when they get bitchy with each other, they added a housewives? Uh, they get their own. This is just so good. So apartment number one.

Next like, listen, the goal today is to get K1 and K2 on the same page. The only thing they have in common is their name. K1's looking for character, RESTIC, two's looking for sleek modern. I mean, look, this has the best of both worlds. They could do the rest with furniture. Okay, straight guy, they can do the rest with, who says that?

You know what, you're aesthetic, just do it with furniture, okay? Well, I actually was thinking that too, because part of me is like, you can create rustic qualities. You can bring character in with how you decorate it, you know. My favorite thing that Nick was doing is that he kept on saying, he just sort of like tried to will them into loving a place. He would just say like, new construction. So as you see, and that's a lot of nice stuff.

You're new construction. There's a kitchen, new construction. You just sort of kept on saying new construction randomly and just inserting it into things. And light. He loves saying, wow, look at the light. Look at the light. So he's like, get too hot, too bad, too bad, 975 808. And parking is an additional 20 grand. I mean, he's freaking cities. Ouch. I know. It's really crazy. So they go in and it's very modern. There's tall ceilings and everything. The guest bedroom is like very industrial, it has sort of like a duct overhead and the walls don't go to the all the way the ceiling

because it's loft style, so it's exposed, which K2 definitely does not like. I don't like that either. What are we living in a giant dressing room? This is crazy. Like these lazy assholes didn't even go all the way up to the ceiling with the wall lame That's right. I hate that too to be honest. Yeah, and Nick's like well, but River North, you know, River North light new construction Well, let's come on. Let's keep on walking. It's a loft And so I like it. I like the Kevin one goes, I love ductwork. Really? Okay.

I hope he gets some ductwork in this place. This is what I'm living with. I send him to Alaska hoping your Cheetah Mies will have excuse to get rid of him, but guess why? He came back now talking about ducts. Right. This also doesn't have a window because it's built later, so it's right by the front door and there's no window or anything. So it's like sleeping in a little black box. Well, not because the dressing room

wall spit still. Yeah. So, um, uh, so I think K1 also, he like, there's no wood in there. It's just, it's all concrete, you know, the entire thing is concrete. And then Kate, the Kevin 2 goes, well, you do, there's some brick over there is that dingy enough for you Taki asked character wanting rustic fuckface you have a dingy and after you claim Eastwoody okay and they look at the kitchen and she's like oh this I'd like the countertop it's sleek it has clean lines yeah honey it's a counter Well, then I love countertops. I want to place it's a countertop. Can you find a place that's just like a countertop? Yeah. And then there you have, they go out to a balcony and KT was like, I don't know that it's West facing,

because there'll be certain times of the year the sun's gonna blare in. So basically what I'm saying is, this is a lovely apartment, but there will be a specific window of time where it will be awful and I can't have it. Yeah. It goes, but good job on the balcony neck.

So thank you for listening to that. So one, it's like, Kevin just doesn't have realistic expectations. He wants Southern exposure, windows and bedrooms and a balcony. I mean, for me, if you want to be outside, just walk outside. And if you want something rustic, go by a cow hide. I mean, for crying out loud, that's not good logic, especially somewhere they get so cold. Like you want to go outside, you want to sign, just go stand outside the cold stupid. Yeah, I don't like that logic at all. That's the whole point is you want.

It's like, you know what I'd love to do? I'd love to read a book outside. Let me go walk down on the street and sit down on the curb and I'll read my book There I got my outdoor space. Yeah, so they go to the small primary bedroom One goes oh my god, there's break. I love that Because oh, okay, so we're at the right brick level And then they have a walk through closet which I really enjoy it actually I mean, I don't love the walk through closet, but as walk through closet go, I thought it was actually very lovely.

Well, as long as there's a guest bathroom, you know, I'm sure it's true too. They go through there and he's like, oh my God, we could say K one side and K two side. Look at that. And of course, one is like, excuse me, what about the fan? What about the fan? What about the fan? It makes like, what? Guess what? Fans already on, guys, the fans already on, you can't hear it.

No way. Oh my god, the bathroom fan is all ready on. I just love his fixation on his bathroom fan. Oh, so two is like, well, everything's not ideal, but I love the location. It doesn't face south, but even now the light is beautiful in here. Almost like all those tall buildings across the street are gonna block that sun. Interesting. Major.

Major's rustic. Shut up one. Shut up. So Nick is like, well, you know, and they're also upset because there's no third bedroom, which is what they want It's a Nick is like, well, you know as soon as I throw in a third bedroom, the price always go it price goes up to above 600 You know, you know what they say about adding a third to a situation. Oh, don't there used to be a K3. It didn't work out Yeah, I'll tell you really saw outside then but remember to right remember that It's outside a lot back then.

So now, Partners Kevin and Kevin, Partners Kevin and Kevin are buying their first place one wants to loft, but getting him to accept the $650,000 price tag will be harder than Ronnie every time K1 comes on screen. And also, Linda has also said, Nick comes through with a place with the features that they want. While Kevin won, tries to get Kevin to to accept what things like this realistically cost, but unfortunately he can't get through to him because other Kevin is an asshole. Yeah, because he's a dick.

So they go to a three bedroom tube at this one is also in the city. And the neighborhood they want, right? I think it is. Yeah, it's in the neighborhood. And it's nearby. And Kevin one is basically like, you know, I mean, we can make it work if we have to. Plus, like, we're going to find anything below 600 in River North, like with all the things that you're looking for. I don't understand. Like, is this going to be Alaska all over again? Why do we have to keep having these conversations? They're just like midbicker as they arrive. Yeah. And it's, um, 665 plus 875 a month and the parking is 35,000. So it's over 700K. And Kevin's like, no, God damn way.

You know what, we can't support, we can't buy this, but I'm gonna be supportive. And by supportive, I mean, I'm gonna walk around bitching at number one the entire time. And Nick, by the way, was like, you know, K2 is obviously very price sensitive. In other words, cheap. That's just, he's cheap.

He's a cheap, very, very cheap. I mean just cheap. He's cheap. Very, very cheap. I mean, he's just he has eyeliner, very cheap. So he's a miserable eye makeup for this one too. Yeah. Number two. So they walk in and so there's lots of like exposed beams, wouldn't beams. And K one goes, Oh, I love those beams. And K two goes, Of course you do. It feels like I'm on a farm. It feels like I'm on a farm. Jesus. It's Rachel drumming the door man. Of course it's six. So it's the River North farm. No, Nick goes, it could be the River North farm

and he goes, no, that's not a thing. I actually do love the light. Do you love the light? I love the light. Light is incredible. Bless the sun. Who should I pay? Who should I pay $500 a month to for the sun? Because it is decent. I'll give you that, Nick. Sun is on only fans now. So I subscribe to sun. I on, put that on the top. Come on, put that on the top. Come on, put that on the top. Come on, put that on the top.

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And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So it is a very big space, although it's oddly angular,

like there's like these, it's not like a rectangular room, which would kind of annoy me. And then there are some, there's a lot of exposed bricks, so of course, Kevin Tue is like, well, he's just like dingy to me, just it's a pile of dinges.

You know what this reminds me of? Character, who wants that, am I right? You know what it reminds me of? Brick reminds me of my parents' home in Texas. Me too, dinge, dinge, dinge. We visited his parents once, my slept on a pillow made out of benedrill. It's like the people are made of dinge.

Uh, made of dinge. So then they go out on the balcony. And by the way, the kitchen is cute because the kitchen is sort of like against the window. So I thought that was sort of like a nice city kitchen, right? And then they go out to the balcony and Kevin too was like, well, there's a little bit of a bummer. I mean, look, there's electrical poles there. Look, this big beautiful view and I see one single electrical pole. I mean, what's even the point?

Yeah. And the real estate guys like, but you see peaks of the river and he goes, okay, okay, you know what? Fine, fine. I can see peaks of the river. Good job. But I mean, electrical poles. So they go into the bedroom with a beam right in the middle of the room. And of course, once like, oh my God, it's a beam. And he's like, I'm that's the most awkward beam I've ever seen. You get up to pee in the middle of the night and boom, you run into something hard. Well, god forbid that happens in this house. Shut up, one.

It's called opening your eyes. Do it once in a while. So then K2 is like, because you know, Kevin Wann is like, oh, it's character. So K2 is like, K1 defines character as anything that I don't like. He just throws that word character character character character character. I don't think he even knows what it means. He sees a turtle.

I hate turtles. Like, oh, the turtle's character. No, it's not. It's a turtle. It's a fucking turtle. He's right after agree with him on that because Kevin never once just such a dope. He's like, look at the beam character. And there's rest character.

He's like, look at the beam character. Anthres rest character. Ah. Ah. Ah. So they go to the bathroom, there's double vanities, and they turn on the fan, and it's loud. And they're like, ew, wow, disgusting, my fan, ew. It's so loud.

I can't hear a thing. I'm going to be deaf, and the bathroom fan is so loud. So they go to the guest room and it's got a bright pink wall and to use like not your color, not your color Kevin, that needs to be painted, that needs to be painted. I like when they're so bitchy to the real estate person, like the real estate person, is it fought for everything they don't like, you know? Yeah.

Like my job, it needs to be painted, Mick. Lazy fucking Mick. And so then K2 was like, well, I'm not convinced. I mean, the price point is very scary. I mean, we'll have to sell their car. I mean, do you know how hard it was to find a Diane von Versenberg edition of a mini? So, um, one is like, well, fine, but if if you want more than we're gonna have to look outside River North and he's like, fine, I will look outside River North, but it better have everything I want Nick. You do not want to be on my bad side.

Don't go on time. So now we see them driving to a new neighborhood and and K2 was like, I know this sounds ridiculous, but I almost feel homesick. Like I'm a little uncomfortable being outside of my comfort zone. It's like we just pulled out of the garage. That's our apartment up there. Like I like that he says I feel uncomfortable

being out of my comfort zone. Yeah. That's why it's called being out of your comfort zone. But also Kevin wants to, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I'm just saying this guy guy boot was in Alaska for three years, and this guy has to drive a mile away. He's like, I'm homesick. I know.

Look, I came from Alaska for you, and you can't go like a mile away. Well, because Kevin wants to spend less on a place in his partner, Kevin, he's agreed to venture outside his neighborhood to see a brand new condo in Wicker Park. He just has to keep an open mind. He's never going to move to a place called Wicker.

I'm telling you that right now. Wicker is not, Wicker itself does not have smooth lines. What if we just rename it Ratan Park? Well, I do like that tan is involved. Marble Park is there a marble park? Is there a park called Canter Park? I'll live in counter park So

Yeah, Linda's like he just had to keep an open mind good luck with that one So this place is listed at 580 and the parking is included so they get to it It's a modern building. It's a new new it's a newer building and K. T. He was already he's just like furious. He's like well, it's got to be perfect even considered honestly. I mean Nick Nick Where the heck did you even bring me to you? I mean look? It's it was a five minute drive. Where are we? He's like it's wicker park. Okay, look. K1 has a way more open mind than K2 But this is everything K2 wants. It's modern. It's right in this price range K1 is definitely open to different areas,

but you know what, it's just not character he's looking for. So Nick is like, oh my God, this is modern. This is because Nick says it's modern. It's a new condo. The assessment is low, it's 175. Oh my God, it is, that's so low. And when they walk in, Nick opens the door and goes, new construction

You're really selling this you just like New construction and over here's new construction and the HOA is just a new construction per month Your new construction fee is really low So next like once you start adding door staff and amenities the assessments go up So you know that this is what you're getting. It's a lot cheaper here. So, it's a V hallway. Like, you open the door and you're at the point of a V.

And then it goes, you know, like a V. Like, in two different, it's not a good entrance. It's very V forward. And so, K-1 is like, oh my God, I love the floor. It takes me to a total Texas field. Because we have floors in Texas. So anytime I see a floor, I'm like, oh my god, I love the floor. It takes me to a total Texas field because we have floors in Texas. So anytime I see a floor, I'm like, we're back in Texas. Well, they all have floors, you idiot.

I know. This is like a gray vinyl floor, right? Like vinyl wood or whatever. It's like, it's not rustic. Yeah, this is not rustic at all. It's cold and antiseptic. Okay, and I say this is someone who's last apartment had the same flooring.

It's very cold. So K2 of course is like jizzing everywhere. He's like when I'm talking about modern. This is what I'm talking about Yeah, cuz once they get in there, it's nice, you know, it's all gray It's like the new we're kind of like the past decade everything is gray You know the floor is gray the walls know, the floor is gray, the walls are gray, the counters gray, everything is gray, gray, gray, gray, and he's like, love it, yes. But you know what, you're entertaining and then there's street noise out there. I mean, look, one car, two car, three car, four car, five car. Okay, Kevin, we got it. Six car. You live in Chicago. Like you're living, you're currently begging to live in a busy city neighborhood.

You weirdo. And so one is like, but if you want all your options, we have to look outside your comfort zone. But it's uncomfortable. That's the point, Kevin. All right. I'm the doorway. I'm homesick.

So Nick's like, okay, look, I am outside my comfort zone. So, I'm taking a look. What more do you want from me? And Nick's like, okay, here's what we're going to do. I found that there's another unit in the building and it doesn't face the streets. You want to check it out? Oh my God, say it's Southern. Say it's face in the South, please. So they go across the hall and this one is a bigger unit and there's no V hallway they just walk right into the open concept and It's it's it's really big. It's got good light got lots of windows It's almost the same as the other one and we also find out that the garage is a heated garage and there's a huge balcony

So it's like it's actually kind of like a gorgeous, gorgeous space. K2 is like, hmm, but it's definitely not south facing though. And I see power lines. And now this one has a huge balcony. Well, not huge, but long, really long. Yeah. But it's overlooking this building with no windows. It's just like this big slab of gray concrete. And then it does have a lot of wires and stuff. It's actually It's an ugly view. This is he's not being irrational on this one. It's just sort of like just see dumpsters. It's like an alleyway Yeah, it's not cute. So when uh, one is like come on Kevin You can find something to be picky about in every place we see and he's like it's my gift

It's the least I can do So then okay, so then k1 goes, but it blends a little of your modern with my rustic. And there's like literally nothing rustic about this place. And two goes, what I love is that there's absolutely nothing rustic in here. And he tells us, you know, I think that Kevin's starting to crumble, because we're in a new build and he's starting to find rustic elements that don't even exist. Oh my god, I love this rustic stainless steel sub zero refrigerator. That's a mere so rustic.

So they look at the bedroom, which is pretty nice, but two is like, oh my god, I mean, I like the light, but looking at the window, I feel so out of my comfort zone. God, would you actually really want to live here? I mean, I wear a mean, where's the coffee? Where's the coffee shop? I mean, I was surprised that even was electricity, if it weren't for those power lines I saw outside, I just, I would think I was in a hut and a grass hut.

So then, so K1's like, well, I would much rather own and wicker part than keep renting in River North. Character, character, character. Okay, now you're just trying to annoy me, stop it. So they look at the bathroom, it's a double vanity, and everything's brand new and works, and the fan. Can we check the fan and mix like,

It's been on this whole time. Got you guys getting in here. Okay, Nick. Nick, this is, Nick is just fucking with them now. Yeah. He just uninstalled it, right? Sorry. Yeah.

That's what that's all about. Yeah, I shoved a penny up in it, so it doesn't even turn any more at all. So, let's see. They, like that one, the best out of the two that they've just seen, but it's time to make a choice. Location or prize.

They've seen several places, but now it's time to decide. Will it be someplace with Kevin No. 2 or back to Alaska to do only fans with a bunch of whales? So the Kevin's are now at home and it's like a costume change. And so now K2 is going to be a mask because he's wearing like a backwards hat, but he's also got his eyeliner on still. And so, so they're like talking and K2 is like, you know, house number one, it's so close to us.

It's our current neighborhood. It's actually just our house. I don't know if we ever realized we were actually already living it. It was just, it was just us buying a department. I'm actually not sure what I's here, which I love. We're never leaving here. Obviously, it's like, so we love the neighborhood.

That's a plus. Okay. And then, you know, the bedroom was off. I just don't like that style with a wall still go up to the ceiling, but I could deal with that and the price is right. It's like, but it didn't have the character. I like, you know, I mean, it didn't have rustic, but it did have exposed brick. Oh, your mother

and father, yes, your mother and father while was there. Okay. So then house number two and K one's like, well, that had a lot of the rustic charm I'm looking for, you know, I loved the way the rustic charm, you know, could just, you know, power so many appliances, that's an outlet, that's not rustic charm. That is an outlet. And don't you remember the beam in the center of the room? I call that character. Why call you idiot? Okay. So then house number three. So, you know, K2 loved house number three.

By K1's like, well, I didn't have a lot of the character that I'm looking for. Bullshit, you walked in and said the floor was a character. You made everything into character there. Yeah. And he's like, you know how much I love that place. And if I say that I don't want to live in that area, that goes to show you how important location is to me.

I didn't even feel the energy of an elliptical machine. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So number one, the Fuggo loft. Number two, the expensive loft. Or number three, the most bowling alley loft will get robbed in. So ding dong. They wind up in house number two,

which I think was actually the best choice. And despite the fact that it had a beam in the bedroom and had a diagonal wall. So we see them in their new place. And K2 is just like going nuts because things aren't put together more. Because you know he's the type that's like, as soon as they move in,

just demanding everything to be assembled all at once. Oh, he's gotta be the worst to move with. He's like, you know what I like? The here's the way I like to move in. I like to get things moved in. I was like, geez. So he's like, well, I can't believe it, but we did get the three

veteran condo and River North. Mixed it a really good job. We didn't give him his commission. Fuck that guy. He just said live all the time. I mean, what good is he? I asked him for a dick pick. You didn't send one. So no commission. Sorry. He's like, but it actually, honestly, it looks really good. They did a really great job with it. And they, we, we, we were seeing them moving us so far. They're like moving something in a rematress. And K2, I've really embraced the wood. I mean, that was also my Tinder profile.

But I have fully adopted the quote, unquote, character that Kevin loves so much. Still not sure what that is. Yeah, and they ended up giving a low ball offer of 590 and they ended up getting it for 602 with parking included So that's I mean they got a great deal compared yeah, they really did so and one is like we still have a fan that needs to Replace and they turn it on is like Sounds like a motorcycle starting up like have you heard a motorcycle?

He's like I won't be showering in here until that's done cycle. He's like, I won't be showering in here until that's done. So guess what? They have to spend $200 to get that fan fixed. Well, what if they can do it? What if they can go to Best Buy and get a new fan? Oh, man, somebody question marks hanging over this episode. All these little cuties. Well, they did it. They found their place. Congrats, Kevin and Kevin. And I like the last, did you see the very last thing that happened? They're playing fetch with Charlie, like throwing a little ball on the floor. And K1, because, well, I'm sure our neighbors will love this. And yet they still continue on. Well, that was a good one. It was hilarious. It was absolutely hilarious. Thank you all

for listening. As a reminder, that was season 200 episode 13 searching for Chicago condo Go check it out and Thank you all for listening. We'll be back with the main show on Monday and then you know every Friday until this is over. Well, hello. Thanks everyone Thanks everyone. Bye! Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

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