Watch What Crappens - Dwell Hello: Warning Window in New Jersey

Episode Date: November 19, 2021

Time for a new episode of Dwell Hello, our House Hunters roast. This week, we're off to Jersey to watch a fusilli obsessed couple look for a house that they can have babies and play drums in. For those of you that like to watch along, this is is House Hunters Season 195 Episode 9. You can listen to Season 1 of Dwell Hello, plus all of these episodes without ads, on Stitcher Premium! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding dong! Well, hello. Well hello, welcome to dwell, hello everybody.

I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hi, Ben. Hey Ronnie. Guys, thank you so much for being with us today. Well hello. Season two. If you want to listen to season one episodes, they're riotous. Okay, you can go find them in Stitcher, Perinium. That's also where you can find

all of our podcasts at free and including Watchup Crappens, which is where we're from. Watchup Crappens is a Bravo podcast. So if you want to go listen to some real housewives trash talking go over there too But now we're here with house humtiles Yeah, we are for those of you who are new to dwell. Hello We are what we do is we recap house hunters house hunters international everything in between and Today we are going to take on House Hunters season 195 episode nine warning window in New Jersey. This is by the way season 195 on YouTube TV because we know the seasons are different on different platforms.

Okay. So should we just get into it, Ronnie? Yeah. If you guys want to suggest episodes that you want to hear, there's a post on our Instagram page, which if you can scroll down or just comment on one of these while hello, posts on Instagram and suggest stuff, we do take recommendations because otherwise, or you can, that Instagram is at Watch What Craftens and on Twitter, we're at what crap. And so feel free to suggest because because otherwise we just basically spend the wheel and get whatever Whatever we got and that's what we did today with New Jersey Yeah, we're going to New Jersey. We're going to Monmouth now mom with County New Jersey

Okay, and we know we're in New Jersey because the first thing we hear is a guy go we got Fusilli nice Yeah, the first thing you see is the Ferris Ferris wheel because people in Jersey. They love the Ferris wheels, all right? And then you hear it Fusilli! Oh, wait, where are you guys from? Where are you from? They're in the kitchen cooking. Oh wait! Wait, there's a cutting board in the shape of New Jersey hanging on the wall. And come! Thanks, guys!

Yeah, really really really really on the wall. Thanks guys. Yeah, really, really, really, really on the nose. It's just like, we love New Jersey so much we decided to make a cutting board and put it on the wall. And New Jersey also the state like like, there are some states that should be cutting boards, right? New Jersey. No, if it's to Jersey, who doesn't love Jersey? I mean, I don't really know. I swear I used to go to thekea when I lived in New York City a long time ago. But that's really all I know about it. Otherwise, it looks like a big square packed bag. Just trying to eat everything in its path.

Which I guess makes sense now that I hear myself saying that out loud. If you're in Colorado, sure, do a Colorado version of a cutting board. New Jersey, not very useful, okay? A, but you know we got on this wall. We got a porcelain version of Christine Todd Whitman. Okay, we'd love new Jersey. Anybody want to get into a bridge fight? Confine me. Confine me. I'll be the guy with the ball of facility. All right. Hey, just look for the life size cut out of John Bond Jovey, okay?

So the lady of the episode is like we just got married last year my family consists of me Jordan and our dogs Comell and Centilla wait No, I'm gonna gun Julie Skun Julie, which I'm assuming it's a type of past. I'm really better right now Gengily, which I'm assuming is a type of pasta. I'm gonna like that up right now. Skunjuli. What is Skunjuli? My auto correct says Sintilla. What the fuck? What the fuck? My auto correct is that.

Wait a second. So Skunjuli. So, okay, I typed in Skunjuli and the first thing that comes up is what is Skunjuli from the Daily Meal? Skunjuli isn't... This is the headline. Skunjuli isn't pretty, but it's a key component of Italian seafood salad. Like with your ninja dog after an unpretty component of Italian seafood salad. That's just good, guys, that's just good. And then we see on the couch, Jordan is taught the dog

to high five and while they lay on the couch, which is just such a Jordan thing to do. Like the more we've learned about Jordan watching this show, it's just so Jordan. That dog probably doesn't even piss outside, but Jordan's like, yeah, but you know what he can do high five me on the couch, right? Am I right? Come on. Hey, you're not pretty, but you are a very important part of a seafood salad. And you can say you can do high five. Hey, if you ever had your seafood salad, give you a high five, That's what this is like.

I'm hoping this dog dies soon. So it ain't awkward when we name our first kids, Kajilla. So Charles and Deborah. I love seafood salad. Charles and Deborah, the parents come in. The whole family starts all the moms and all the brothers and all the sisters is jersey.

So everybody's coming over and the dad's like don't let the dogs out or I'm gonna have to sing that song I don't got out who let the dogs out who let the seafood salad out whoops whoops scum, chit, it, it, it, love ha ha ha ha ha ha ah not a pretty dog I gotta say a very very ugly dog but you know I like a dog J-E-L-U-L-U HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Al the restaurant like he stresses the last word all the time it makes me fucking great like we're listening to you

Okay, you're not giving us the specials. We can hear you sir The drinks yeah, sorry Ben go ahead. Take it away Ben. Hey, thanks. Thanks are the Jordan a Had a couple of drinks and came over to me and said a my knees things are hot She's old and becoming a spinster. So how about this? Why don't you two get together? And seven years later, we're married and got New Jersey on our wall. Wow. What a touching romance. I married a terrible waiter who drinks on the job. Nice job, lady. What's her name? Amanda. Amanda. So I'm adding.

I think Jordan is free spirited and spontaneous and gross hair from his face all the way down to the floor the bathroom literally has roots And they're also a very literal couple because they have a bar and they wrote cheers over the bar and then Jordan So like I think it's his sister or her sister comes over and he goes, oh, you got brownies. She goes, it's pumpkin bread. I said, God, God damn it. Hey, it looks like it's conjuli, huh? Can you perfected that shit yet seriously? You bring a pumpkin bread again? And they do the cheers just like you think they would.

They all lift their glasses and then they're like, Pantorra, Puccino, God, buddy, and God, my God. Okay, you're just saying random Italian things now. You're not even saying real words. Now you're just saying things that sound Italian-y. And Amanda says, Jordan, there's a very spirit, there's a very spirited and spontaneous.

It's a blessing on a curse. I like to plan ahead and sometimes, you know, it drives me crazy. Basically what I'm saying is he's unemployed. Okay, he's been away there for seven years. Okay, I don't know how we're going to afford this house, but we're doing it anyway. It's very important. We get a house with the chilies in the same neighborhood because that's the only place he hasn't been fired from. All right. He's very spontaneous. I wanted him or a dog amber. He wanted to name it

Schengeli. Okay. I don't even know what that's about. Okay, I want to call him every squad. I don't even know what Schengeli is. When I looked it up, I was horrified. It was too late. So when they do the cheers, the dad's like, you better find the perfect house, baby. All right. Get your facility house, not a penny house, because penny scrap on everyone knows it. And they're like eating a meal under in a norm as clock. It's like, it's like big band. It's like that movie Hugo, I feel like there's a child dangling from that clock and Basically the dad's like so we have you look so far and he goes dead. You just spit on my arm. Thanks so much

Because I sorry kid and he like what he like licks his hand and then wipes wipes Jordan's arm because I like the I like the off. And Amanda's like, love and looking to start a family in this house is perfect. Start it, but we've not grown it. We want to be close to my family. No further than 20 miles away from my family. And Jordan's like, yeah, we can go further. All right, everyone can walk into our house at any given day.

For lunch, a car ride would be nice. It's all I'm saying. You know what? So I want a better music room, okay? Because since I'm doing nothing with my life, I want to feel like I'm having more fun while I'm doing nothing with my life, okay? Because I wasn't a band.

I used to play music. I played music since I was 12 years old and look where it's gotten me. No way. Well, so this is the most annoying husband of all time. I hate saying this. Well, I can't say because my family doesn't listen to this, but the husband that plays the drums, but could you find anything more pleasant to play, you know, like anything?

Just the harpsichord. I don't give a fuck. Anything. But the drums. The harpsichord. Well, the harpsichord would be lovely. Right. Could you imagine if Jordan's just playing the harpsichord in the basement?

It's like, it's like, welcome to our male school jelly. He lovely. Jordan, by the way, I also want to say, Jordan is very cute and he probably gets away with all this bullshit because he's cute, you know? Well, but she's cute too. Like, I think it would be different if like, he looked like that and like, she was like hideous or the other way around, you know, but I think they're like, unequal looked like that and she was hideous or the other way around. But I think they're like unequal playing fields of cute. They're like comfy cute.

They're like two throw blankets that got married. Amanda's like, I can hear you no matter where I am in the house, be a stoop, drop me in every single day. I want to be kitchen because I want to culinary school. Okay. So I want nice appliances, commercial grade if possible, farmhouse chic at a space for my New Jersey cutting board. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, you know, we play so much. I just want some way sound proof. Okay. Like I just want to under the house in Soundproof.

You want a panic room to hide from fucking crazy Jordan. And we all know it. And I don't believe me. So Jordan's like, we might have to go with a fixer rapper. I love fixer up us. We did that the first time and look at it. It's not that great. I married a fixer rapper. Okay, I don't need to live in one two. I'm still I'm still trying to train Jordan to not ask me for 20% on top of the groceries every single time we go out. I don't need another fixer, rapper. I want turnkey, okay?

So he has ranges between 400 and 600,000. And if it was 400,000, it would be a fixer, rapper, who's 600,000, will be a turnkey. And he's like, yeah, 600,000 dollars will be turnkey, but that'll be hot to find this one's kitchen expectations. And this one's a quaz kitchen expectations. I'm like, this lady's going to be cooking you meals sir. And she went to culinary school. So they'll be good meals. And what are you offering? Beats. Beats in the basement noise. That's all he's offering is noise. And he's the kind of guy

he likes to walk around with the sledgehammer and just like bang on walls, you know. So Jordan's like, you know what, for six, it better be turnkey with a double-sake and the grandma's like, that's a good one. Yeah, she cracks up. She's like, oh god, that was hilarious. What a fucking, honey, funny guy, huh? So now they go to Manala Pan. What a fucking fun guy, huh? So now they go to Manala Pan. You're not feeling comedy. So they go to Manala Pan township, which to me, like that town, like when you look at Amanda,

you feel like her personality is Manala Pan. Like if her personality can make a noise, it would be Manala Pan. Manala Pan. Hey, we had a dog named Manala fam one time. Don't this until you tried it, all right? And actually speaking of which, they're driving through the neighborhood.

She goes, oh, there's dogs here. That's great. Oh, oh, thank God. I was so concerned after all those dogless neighborhoods. I'm just what everybody wants to see driving into a neighborhood. Dogs everywhere. Listen, you don't want dogs all over your neighborhood.

You want a peaceful quiet home. Okay. You don't want dogs barking all over the place. So she's like, I don't want to be this far, Jordan. He's like, what? Come on. Come on. It's for 444. I'm pretty sure it's a good job. It's everything we want. She's like, I don't want to get job and I don't want to live far. So I don't know. I don't know who you're looking at houses with the idiot, but it's also, by the way,

it's 25 minutes from her family, which honestly is really not that big of a deal, but she's like, oh my God, with five states over Jordan, I can't do this too far away from mom and dad. Look what you get here. And then we see what they get here. Okay. So this is very unfair because Jordan has hooked up with a bro, right? They're like bro and they agree with everything so she doesn't really get much of a say because Jordan's like I'll really stick guy. He's Jake. He's the best out there

We found him through a contractor and he was type places and always has a red neck Which means it probably hurts to shave every inch of himself. He gets me. He gets me. Yeah, Jay's the best. So they come up to house number one, which on the outside, I actually think is super adorable. Like it's like this red. What is that's not like a ranch home,

but it's like that classic suburban home. Maybe it is a ranch. It's like a split level. No, no, no, no. A one level, right? Yeah. What do you call this kind of house? It has a name.

I call it Fug. I call it some Fugley old asses. some ugly old ass I've got mold in the walls but on the outside it was like a cute suburban house so there's J.A. and J.S. says things like this I'm sorry to interrupt you because J.S. says things like this and I have to get it in all right I'm gonna have to ask you guys to put your vision goggles on. Gotta have the vision, okay? So when you put on those vision goggles, also, please look at me. And you could see the ideal version of me, which unfortunately, I'm not

presenting to you in this episode. But I'm your vision goggles. So that's the worst thing that's by way, that's not what I want to hear ever before I walk into a house. This house is going to need a little work or a lot of work, depending on who buys it, right? If you're a slave who doesn't mind rain on your head, not too much work. If you're like making fucili and hanging cotton boards jersey, more work, all right?

Vision goggles. You know, Jordan and Amanda not seeing eye to eye. It's kind of fun watching them fight it out, you know, because Jordan's awesome. You know, we have similar interests. And you know know when we both know that things can be fixed one man And Amanda sucks because she's a woman. No, I'm saying we got similar interests, you know playstation drums cutting boards and funny shapes So Jay is like there's potential here, right? This is a blank canvas. It ain't turkey. It's the opposite All right, this is like you got to kick the door down to get into the door.

Alright, there aren't even keys in this house. Alright, you want to come into this house tell your mother to crawl through a fucking window. Okay. Vision gaggles. Okay. Alright, now look, we're walking inside. Let's check it out. It's a spacious foyer when you first walk in.

Okay, and look at that. Look at that. Look at that adorable rat. Look at it, just waving hello to you. Say hi to the rat, say hi to the rat. All right, guys, look, I know it's got some cosmetic issues. And she's like, yeah, you know what, if you could put Jordan's music in the house for him, this would be my head is hurting, okay?

This is a piece. So, um, Jay is like, okay, you know what you should do? You should have a look at what you can't change. The location, the layout, you know, this giant circle mirror, that comes with it. That can't go, that can't go. You gotta love the giant circle mirror. It's like, houses are like dick sizes, right?

You look at what you can't change and worry about the motion of the ocean with the rest of your time. You know, you keep the dick, you get packing plants. Am I right? Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So they go in the kitchen, which is just miserable. It's like an electric and a range and everything. Everything's just so old and outdated and everything. And Jay is just doing the use car sales and thing

and he's saying, yeah, yeah, yeah. But look, look at all the potential you have for him. Yeah, okay. So what? You're pressed his button, you hear the whole house lights on fire, but you know what? People like a camp fire.

Think about that potential, huh? As he's saying, he's passing walls with obvious water damage, all up. I mean, first the house is faux painted, right? It's that faux painting technique. And then the car bits look like they've all been flooded. There's like water stains all over the wall. And he's like, look at the potential, right?

She's like, um, I don't know about these appliances. He's like, come on. I'll do my best to get you that stove in it hot. It's like from 1916. And she's like, but you know, it's all new appliances that's going to be a huge expense. And Jordan's like, no, but baby, we throw this ball down and now you're cooking and entertaining. Or we throw that ball down and now you're cooking and entertaining in that direction.

What if we take down all the walls? Okay, we just have the second floor, float on top of the first floor. Now, yeah, that's what you call an open concept. She's like, Jordan just gets carried away. You know, this is the pipe dream. I don't want to spend time redoing the house. We've done it. It's a one and done for me.

It's a one and done for me. And then they go down to basement and Jay's like, now look at this, look at this basement. Some people look at it and think, oh, cool, it's the set of soya, but what I say is, unfinished is a blessing, okay? Because when you don't have because when you don't have you don't have to do demo it because someone because you don't have to someone else

didn't put their style in it. You don't have to take down someone else's style. So I'm actually saving you money if you think about it. Huh? Holy shit, just hand them some dirt and be like, wow, look at this. Give me a hundred grand. Look, look, no one even built the house for you to have to rebuilds all right just build your own house Perfect my work here is done also they go outside of the backyard and it's a huge backyard George's like wow you could put a fence out here. Yeah, because there's not a fucking fence in the backyard That's why why is the limit? Yeah, oh All the things you could do, you could build a fence.

So Jay is like, well, you still got your vision goggles on because we're talking potential. And Amanda's like, well, it's a good size, but it's just very, very ugly. It's like what I say about Jordan's dick, you know? Yeah, she's like, the bathroom's crest, the whole house is cresty and Jordan's like, you're cresty. So they go upstairs and she's like, wow,

award for the worst carpet of all. Congratulations, room. And Jay's like, wow, look at that. It's a bathroom. And look, you got a walk in closet. That is not a walk in closet at all. It's a closet you pull open the doors to and there's like two feet to hang your clothes.

And what world is that walk in closet, sir? Just because you walked into it does not mean that's a walk in closet. So then there's like more work, more work, and they go to a bedroom and there's like a random sort of like like stained glass chandelier or lighting fixture. And she's like, oh, while I'm really glad they left us, left us here for us. I feel like I'm going to Ruby Tuesdays. I. Exactly, isn't it nice? It's like I'm back at work. So they leave and don't think, I like it. She's like, I hate it Jordan. This is not what I wanted to. You know what, you don't listen to me.

Okay, I don't want a job this big. It's so far from my family. Well, Linda comes in. She's like, Jay and Jordan are on the same page with what Jordan wants, but what about her? Don't, don't,? Don't don't. Linda comes in out of nowhere. Linda hasn't spoken this entire episode. It's like, now we go somewhere else.

You know what? Mate, was it, was it her? Maybe it wasn't even her. No, it was her. It was her because I was like, I was like, this one was episodes without Linda, but then all of a sudden, she's like, now these two idiots go to Morganville. So now they're in Morganville, New Jersey for house number two, which is only 18 minutes from our family.

So much better because she saved seven minutes. So newlyweds, Amanda and Jordan disagree whether to buy a turnkey place near family or a fixer upper, also near family, but a little less near family. And it's a very, very busy street. She's like, this one is more moving, ready. So maybe he's listening to me. You know what you guys constantly talk about renovations. You know, what, what about what I want?

He goes, it's about what everyone wants. Ah, listen, if I agree with the best real estate agent in the state, maybe that's your problem. So they get to the, they get to the house and they're on this street that does have like a double yellow line. And it man has like, this is a very busy street. And we see the street, there's like three cars going, it's like three cars in a row, like,

oh my God, oh God, how long are we gonna wait to make this turn? It's already been like six seconds, this is ridiculous. How we gonna pull out of that driveway? Yeah, and then people are honking at them. It's too much joy. It's really loud. So they go with, like you married a drummer. You know, yeah, I can only feel something.

And now he cares about the noise by the street. So drummers are very sensitive to everybody else's noise. Exactly. So he's like, oh God, I took us forever to get in the drive. Oh, my God, we have to wait. What was it? 10 seconds. Oh, God is ridiculous. Jake goes, yeah, but you know what? You take this house and you put it on a quiet street.

Get ready to pay for that. All right. Get ready to pay. Wow. This is why you're the best in the state, huh? That's called vision goggles right there. This kitchen gonna steal the show, all right. So she goes in there and she's like, wow, look at this kitchen.

It's got these custom soft clothes drawers, a wine fridge, very expensive things Jordan. It's amazing Jordan. I love the soft drawers and they show like a slum, a shot of her closing the soft drawer or maybe it wasn't slow-mo, just that it closed slowly. But the thing is that this kitchen kind of just like faces the front door. Did you notice that?

You walk in and there's like open, it's because it's open concept, but you walk in and there's like an open area for the living room. And then it's just like the kitchen. So it feels, I have to say I did not like it. I think this was definitely the nicest of the ones that they saw, but yeah, there's definitely some weird layout things.

And though, I do love a soft clothes, everything, love them. So then they go to the basement and towards like, this is cramped, it's like, where would you music room go? The garbage? Come on. Let's put in the garbage, Jordan. He's like, I know she's joking about that, but it hurts. It's really important to me.

Like, also, there was more than enough room to set up a drum kit there. OK, it was not like, he's acting like it's like a phone booth. And it was like a full on space. Like you put your drums there and beat it them, you know? Yeah, and he, but he doesn't want it because it's already remodeled. And he's like, that's like living in someone else's dream.

Okay, you know, it's the same reason I won't go to Winapples Bees, you know? I just can't see all those people working in such a happy place together. I don't believe that when I'm there on family, okay? So then they go up the master bedroom bathroom and Amanda loves it. She's like, oh, this is exactly what I want. Look at the shower.

It's subway tile, but there's a vertical stripe of mosaic. Wow. So modern. And then he's like, you know what? Like these bathrooms are ridiculous. It's like I'm shitting in the magazine. Who's gonna want to read that after? You know, it's gonna have shit all over it.

And then they look at the window at the backyard and there's like a pool and then there's just sort of like this random collection of trees beyond the pool. It was like very odd, this very odd backyard. So they go outside and Jordan's like, eh, the pool, I could take it and leave it. Hey, I'm like, don't act all cavalier. You probably love that pool for crying out loud. That's a, that, this pool is better than the pool alone is better than the first house.

Yeah. And she's like, oh my God, you wouldn't look at all of this. It already has a fence. He's like, you don't have to build a fence. It's got papers and a grill. All right, you're almost don't even know that you're on the busiest road in Morganville. Okay, and Jake goes, yeah, you can't get out of the driveway. Boom. You got to think of real the resale value. All right, you know, you can't get out of the, you can't get out of the driveway, but look at this backyard. Like what the fuck you're going to make a road out of the backyard that you can come. A big backyard does not change the fact that it's on a street that's too busy. You can't pull out of the garage is what I'm saying. But it's also so clear that Jay and, and Jordan are in goods because it's like, yeah,

I mean, this is a nice house and everything and everything's updated. It's a great price and it's a wonderful location, but man, you can't even use that drive. I mean, once you're in this house, you're in it for the rest of your life. Like, you're trapped, it's over. Yeah, and she's like, but it's all done.

It looks great. And Jordan's like, yeah, but it's so close to my family. They're gonna pop in with pizza sauce and meatballs when I'm walking around in my underwear She's like, yeah, but I see a lot of babysitters in the area too. He's like, yeah, I'm like sir You should be so lucky to have free food arriving at your house and free babysitting, okay? It's like I love for someone to pop over with free food while I'm in my underwear and by someone I mean you Jordan, all right You got my address by your bloody So

Now the next place they go to might be even less ideal for Jordan Because that's who he is It's close to her family and doesn't have water damage. How will he react? So they go in and he's like, yeah, still in the Tasha socket, wherever they are. He's like, your family's three miles away from me. Antoine. What is it?

There in Madawan now. They start. First, we looked at Manala Pan, then we went to Morganville and now we're in Madawan. It's such a New Jersey dance. Yeah. So, yeah, there are three to five minutes from Amanda's family. It's house number three. It's $459,000. And Amanda goes, Chen, Keith, and in Madeline, I mean, is this the best day ever? What?

Next chicken to tell me my husband has a job. He's like, so if you feel right at home here, guys, come on, it's me, Jay. Tell me I can feel the right. You got some walls open. I'm not going to be a little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit little bit Dennis James. So he's like, Hey, man, they little girl, you're smiling a little more is it because when Madeline is that what it is? Because I love it here. I love Madeline. But the kitchen, yikes. So the kitchen is kind of small and it has, it's kind of a galley kitchen, but they wanted it to look open. So they just added some island

seating at the very end of the peninsula, right? And he goes, look at this. You can see some extra seating off the countertop. And she's like, that's not a full island. It's a peninsula. But I do like the disfamily room by it. Yeah. And there's no basement. And there's no like formal dining room, but there's a dining room space that they can use. Amanda is also like, you know what I have to say? I don't want the back splash. I'm like, honestly, the back splash is really not that big of a deal.

This is still way better than the Fixed Ripper and Manalapam. Yeah. And Jordan, everything Jordan goes, so no basement, right? Look at this. It's some seat meant the peninsula. So no basement, right? No, there's no basement. I right. But look at this family room. Oh, the family room. Oh, so with that basement, the family room, right? Yeah, there's no, there's no basement on the family room, Jordan, right? So they go outside and there's actually a very cute backyard area and I'm here because it's kind of on a hill I guess.

Really, what gave you that impression? Was it the fact that it's sloping downwards? It just goes, yeah, it's for water purposes you know, because rain, it goes downhill. Yeah, it's good for that, okay? So then they go back in the house and they go up to the second floor. And I thought that the staircase, the second floor was very strange. It was like very narrow and it kind of just like goes up into the ceiling. It sort of looked like they were like going into a spaceship. They just were like disappeared into the darkness up there. So they're

looking around. There's four bedrooms. They all have hardwood floors. And then there's like a room in Jordan's like, oh, I can make this the music room. Okay, we can put the music room here on the top floor. And she's like, you want to put a music room sharing a wall with the nursery. So you'll just wake up the baby at all times. You want to play drums right next to my baby sad? Is what you're telling me? He's like, nah, we could get the headphones make everything sign a little newborn headphones but then I'm a little fucker all right he's like what am I supposed to

well I mean where am I supposed to put my music room I need my music room I've been playing music for 12 since I was 12 years old and look at me I mean I'm I'm gonna make a big one day okay look I'm on health since it's already so they go into the primary bedroom and he's like, could you even fit a king in here? He goes, ah, well, you got your bathroom. Like, she's the only one who poops in this couple. I know. You got your bathroom. Only one sink in the master.

So Amanda loves it. And he's like, I want my music room. And she goes, well, it's not, it's definitely not going up stairs. He goes, well, I don't know if this house is going to work then, you know, it's a perfect house for raising a family, got a nice lawn, got a nice location, everything's perfect, but I can't play drums and make the Mick also its a noise for everyone. I don't know if we could go for this house. Yep.

So then they're back at home for decision time. He wants fixer uppers and she wants turnkey. What will they do? Um, and if she's really mad, will he bring her side of tiramisu? So, um, he's like, you know, what? Guess what I like? The basement number one basement. Yeah. Yeah, buddy. It's a basement. And she's like, but it's a, but it's just like your personality, it's a lot of work and everything needs to be taken out. That's the point.

And he's like, all right, what about renovated Colonial number two? And she loved the updates of that. He's like, but busy street. And she's like, but you know, the backyard was beautiful. You know, once you're at the, you don't know you're on a busy streets. But I don't have a music room. I mean, sure, there's a room that you could set up music in, but it's not a music room. Yeah. But then the third place is so close to my, she could be popping in. He's like, yeah, too close for a poppin. So, He's like, yeah, too close for a poppin, huh? So, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun like downward grade on that beautiful backyard.

I hate hills. So then ding dong, we picked the colonial fixer up. Yeah, shocker. You won. I'm completely shocked that you and Jay totally hoodwinked Amanda into getting this place. Exactly. And Jordan's like, I got Amanda to see it in my way. And I'm totally going to take three months to do the renovations my way. And it's only gonna take three months to do the renovations, which is shocking that it'll only take three months,

but I'm sure there's some, like, it's not. Yes. That's what he told her, but that's not true at all. Yeah, that's a six month renovation, right? But he didn't know how to win her over, because she's like, and I've gotten my appliances, I cannot wait to cook. And he's like, we've taken that walls.

We expanded the bathroom. We got two shower heads in there. All right, it's already 20 amount of head since I got married. Ayo! Ayo! And Amanda goes, I definitely had to compromise a little bit on the distance of my family. And I'm like, you know what else you compromised on?

Everything. You got nothing like, you know what else you compromised on? Everything. You got nothing of what you wanted. What congratulations. You got a stove that you liked. Yeah. So enjoy, enjoy pulling, you know, loose nails out of poor Skimjili's paws as he runs around this place. And just to make us feel as badly for her as we possibly can,

as we leave the episode, We see him in this huge backyard with overgrown grass cutting the lawn with an edge trimmer. I know. I can't even afford a lawn mower for crying out loud. This is your the it's a weed whacker or not a lawn mower. Get the hell out of there. Oh, I'm better waiter than he is a landscaper. Oh gosh, well everybody that brings us to the end. If you want to watch this episode for yourself, it is season 195 episode 9. It's called Warning Window with New Jersey. Yeah, Fuselli! Yeah!

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