Watch What Crappens - Enema of the State
Episode Date: November 14, 2018The Real Housewives of Orange County fight through parties. A young glitter party and a geriatric casserole enema party. It's as exciting as it sounds. This week's bonus episode is a recap of... the Shahs of Sunset season finale! To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail until Nov at www.CrappensMerch.com. Free Shipping on orders over $45 until Nov 26 with code FREESHIP11d3fb97 You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens!
The podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about
On ye old bras. I'm Ronnie Karam. I'm also on the Rose Prick's bachelor podcast which comes back in
January and here I am with the
Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Hey, what's going on?
Not much. How are you?
I'm still nursing a hangover from Seattle.
That was just a crazy fun time that weekend.
It's Tuesday and I'm still coming back to life.
How are you doing?
I'm doing good.
Yeah, that was a really fun weekend.
So you guys are so lucky because we don't have a ton of life just to show because they all
sold out.
So thank you for everybody who bought all those tickets.
We're going to be going to, you know,
Nashville, Charleston, Dallas, the Grappie Awards here in LA.
So we will have new tickets on sale for March and On Next Ring.
We'll announce them as they come out.
Hopefully that will be soon because, like, honestly,
like we're dying to know where we're going next.
We have no idea.
Yeah.
And then tonight, I'm going to be doing a TV party watch party thing.
I'm just going to, I'm going to watch a blow deck tonight. Uh, it's going to be about 6 p.m.
Uh, Pacific. Uh, so fire up your TV party apps and, uh, join me.
Also make sure you, you're signed up on Patreon because this is going to be exclusive
for our Patreon TV Party supporters.
So that's my final.
Yeah, that's my final.
I'll be doing Jersey Live.
That'll be during the East Coast feed.
I'll be watching that on the TV Party app live with you guys.
I guess what is that?
6 p.m.
Yeah.
Pacific 9 p.m.
Eastern.
I may be like a few minutes late because I have an appointment that ends at 5 p.m. Eastern. I may be like a few minutes late because I have an appointment
that ends at 5 p.m. in basically Century City Los Angeles and getting from Century
City to Hollywood in an hour sometimes could be a challenge. So hopefully I won't be too
late from that. But if I am just bare with me, I will come on. We can all sit and watch a blow
deck together and laugh and enjoy everything that is Kate Chastain and Captain Lee.
So another thing is go get our Christmas shirts. Happy Romona, okay. And ho ho ho, okay.
And some Ramona as Santa Claus leggings. You can go get those at crappensamurch.com. And
there's free shipping until the end of November for that code
It's like a lot of numbers. It's free shipping over $45. Just go to our Instagram
There's a post with the ho ho ho. Okay, you'll see the Ramona Santa Claus
Just go there and copy and paste that code
So that's free shipping on all orders over $45 also we forgot to say thank you to the lovely
lovely Geraldine,
so you throw us that party in Seattle.
We did, we did, we did, we did, we did,
we did this in their names.
It's Erica Wallister and Molly Pluger.
I mean, you guys went all out.
There were cupcakes.
There was a whole menu of crappin' strengths
that they had created.
It was just amazing, you guys.
You went above and beyond for us.
So thank you so much for doing that.
We love you.
That was super, super awesome.
And by the way, you guys brought us
some really cool little gifts up there in Seattle.
And I have to give a shout out.
I'm so sorry.
I don't remember who it was.
Everything happened so quickly,
but someone got us some cookies from Milk Bar
and they were absolutely divine.
And those cookies kind of kept me going for
the next 48 hours like it was the those cookies were all I ever needed and so I have to say
thank you thank you very much for that.
Yeah, those were delicious.
It pulled out one of my temporary crowns and I still kept eating it.
I mean, what a what a monster.
Well, luckily, luckily you're going to the dentist today that fixed that.
You'll be like, milk bar and she'll be like, okay, I get it.
Well, they better get some stronger glue.
I'm telling you, because I have two crowns going in today and they better nail those in.
Okay, because I'm a violent eater.
You really don't realize how violently you eat until you get temporary crowns put in.
I was like, even that.
Oh my God, even a salad.
You know, I had cheese toward leany the other day.
So I was like, what mushy food can I get?
So I went like, rub hub and was looking for mushy food.
And even cheese toward Alini, it's like the mushy as fuck
and thing you can have for people.
Okay, I almost swallowed my crown.
Oh, well, because it's sticky.
So it's not sticky, but like you're going to create suction.
I personally, I hurt my tooth today eating special cake.
I'm like, you know what, here's the thing is special K.
I love special K. I actually really do.
And it's just, you know, it's basically like rice puffs.
And you just eat them and they're nice.
But every now and then, there's like one rice puff
that was overly puffed and it's like hard.
And you bite into it and you're like,
oh, and you're like, why special K?
Why are you doing that?
Why do you have these inconsistent flakes
every like 12 spoonfuls?
I, it's, it's,
Well, I've discovered a new conspiracy
and it is the food industry must be connected
to the dental industry
because they just want us to get in there.
Like those strew poffles, we love strew poffles.
My teeth will hurt while I eat a strew poffle.
Yeah.
Like the, it's like the food is built to hurt your teeth
so that you keep these people in business.
Like I'm paying for Persian College for this kid, this dentist.
Okay.
I know.
I think the Dutch, I think the Dutch really, they saw this as a potential revenue stream,
you know, a few hundred years ago.
And they're like, you know what?
Let's get this, droop waffle game going, and then dentistry is going to catch up and
soon we're all going to cash in.
Oh my God, I wonder if there are a ton of rich
dutch dentists.
I wanna find out because I'm convinced.
Yeah.
But last night I really wanted pizza
and there's this place that makes pizza
that tastes like really cheap like Chuckie cheese.
It's like it tastes like kind of pizza you have when you were,
it's not great, but I still love it.
I don't know why I love this.
But it's where it rusts, it's chewy.
Which one was it? Which place? Pizza Aoki. It's Steve Aoki's not great, but I still love it. I don't know why I love it. But it's what rest is chewy. Which one was it?
Which place?
Pizza Aoki.
It's Steve Aoki's pizza place, which I never put.
I never put two and two together.
And the delivery driver was like, oh, it's a Steve Aoki's pizza.
Did you know that?
And I was like, thanks.
Grab hub.
Like, I don't know if that's a value ad.
Nobody explains why I like it.
It's total stoner pizza.
You know, it's like, remember Chuck E. Cheese? And you can also order rocky why I like it. It's total stoner pizza. You know, it's like,
remember Chuck E. Cheese? And you can also order rocky road on the side. I mean, that's
a win. Oh, well, while you were ordering from there, I was ordering from the Swedish house
mafia meatball company. Oh my God. So we had basically the same kind of night. I think
it's really house mafia for a medium. Tiesto tacos and yeah.
Yeah, Tiesta.
Who I like that.
It's like a fiesta with the Tiesta.
Okay, guys, guess what we're not going to do?
Talk about our food orders all night long.
Okay, because we have a very important episode of Real Housewives of Orange County.
And it was called Friends and Enemies.
Yeah.
So basically, the episode opens up with Kelly going over to Gina's house to help her pack and bring stuff over to the casita.
And you know Gina's house has become something of a fascination for us because of all the insane question Rossi decor that's in their Aka A, Bargain Bin, Junk from Marshalls and Steinmark.
And I already just from the exterior shot,
I was like, wow, there is a lot going on here.
I don't know if you noticed this, Ronnie.
There were two pink wreaths on the door.
There was a pink wreath on a window,
and then there was a giant green wreath
on a different window.
And this was like in the summer.
Well, sometimes you just need to get a job because if you don't have a job,
you could have big lots or Michaels or hot be a lot, but you know,
whatever's around your town, which is Orange County. So they've got all of those
things. Yeah. And you just start, you just start reading up everything.
Yeah, because like, here's the thing. Like, all like all right fine You want to have a wreath for every season fine. I'm not gonna roll my eyes too much at you
But fine, but you don't need to have two pink wreaths on your front door and you don't need to have like
Like like supporting wreaths on like different windows on the exterior of your house and the in the middle of like May
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's too much.
Some holidays, keep one breath.
Christmas, get everything.
So then we go inside the house and you know,
we've observed Gina's bedroom before,
but I just want to say there were, I counted as far as I could see,
according to the naked eye, five furry pillows, two different throw blankets on the bed.
There was that tray, which I'm not even gonna discuss
the tray again.
And then on the floor, there was like a furry rug
that was on top of another rug,
that was on top of a carpet.
There's like three layers of rug.
That's a lot of Marshall's home. A lot. That's a lot. Yeah. That's a lot of Marshall's home.
A lot.
That's a lot.
Yeah, that's a lot of padding.
Yeah.
Well, Kelly comes over to help her pack
and Kelly's very supportive.
She's just like,
KILL!
Yeah, she is very supportive.
Maybe she was just reading a sign.
Maybe there's a sign up that just said cute.
Because I definitely saw a sign by the door that said gather.
I saw a sign that said New York.
I saw a sign that said welcome.
And then there was a little hook that you hang like your keys on.
And she hung up a sign that said wonder.
What?
And then there was a little sign hidden there that said wish. I was like, And then there was like a little sign hidden there
that said, wish.
I was like, you're just putting words up now.
Kelly's like, wonder wish, kitchen.
She's like, thanks, Kelly.
Thanks for coming over.
Matt wasn't, Matt's gonna be in this room
because I thought it might be better for him
to have a different room than me
because we're gonna get a divorce
and it's really crazy.
It's making me sad.
I'm just realizing I'm gonna be alone like I'm never gonna get another birthday
called from Madagat.
Shut up. I can't take any more of you. Okay. I like you. You're very cute. You seem like a very nice girl. If you talk about your fucking husband one more time.
Yeah. I'm gonna gather by your front door and burn your reads Gather what was the thing?
And Jamaica she said was always like her and Matt would always she and Matt would always do this one thing
So it's sort of our thing we'd go into a gift shop and pick out pencils
What was the thing that she said was their thing? Oh?
Was it a bikini? No that
Yeah, I think it was yeah picking up bathing suits
Whatever mine the bikies are all thing.
Like I have so many bikinis.
I would look for these bikinis.
And like I would pack the keemies.
And now I'm so sad packing the bikini without me.
Yeah.
I feel like Gina is quietly the saddest person on Bravo.
Like, you cannot buy all that decor and be a happy person.
This is someone who is trying to find happiness
by putting little artisanal arrows around her house, you know, and, you know,
roosters and furry things. There's been a lot of speculation on the internet, like obviously
baths cheating with somebody. She doesn't even know where his apartment is in LA, okay.
Yeah. So obviously something fishy is going on, but you know what? Sometimes things are simple
and the answers are right in front of you. Three marshals rugs on top of each other.
That's it. That's how you need to know. Yeah. Exactly. It's really like so simple. Yeah.
I don't know. I don't want to blame the victim, but you know, who is the victim here?
Yeah. And if you look at their bed, the bed, like their bedroom, honestly. Like, you know, I'm not saying, like, listen,
that is a really, really girly bedroom, okay?
And like, you know me, I'm always talking about like,
oh, but don't like, don't conform to traditional
like gender, binary or whatever.
This is the problem in society.
Chris talks like masculinity.
But honestly, that is a girly ass bedroom.
And that is like, it's a bedroom for like a 22 year old girl,
you know, with this like curly, cute white poster bed frame,
like jazzy pillows, the furry pillows,
pinks and purples and whites.
It's just like super, super girly.
And like honestly, I just can't imagine
someone like Matt, we know very little love
except that he's from Long Island. I just can't imagine a bro from, who we know very little of except that he's from Long Island.
I just can't imagine a bro from Long Island
enjoying coming home to that bedroom.
And on top of that, there are two rugs
on top of the carpet.
Yeah, well, this has been a really fun episode
talking about Gina's house.
Bye everybody, thanks so much for coming.
What the whole house.
Seriously.
Is a Marshall's take down the whole episode.
Yeah.
So Kelly's like, damn, Gina, which take down the whole episode. Yeah.
So Kelly's like, damn, Gino, which is hilarious coming from her.
Yeah, because she finally sees a picture of Matt.
Damn, Gino, why are you divorcing that?
I'll take your leftovers.
So then we go over to Vicki's house where Tamra shows up Steve answers the door and
And and like Tamra's like not expecting Steve. She's like, oh, I was not
Expecting a sudden burst of blandness. Okay. I will adjust
Vicky, mashed potatoes have opened your front doors
So beige color palette has just opened the door. I didn't know you were here, Devs
I would have brought some Starbucks for you,
devs. So just some plain milk, something's
there.
It's like, well, I can't have coffee past 5 a.m. or a
month past matlock repeats.
They like savings is over, Tim. Come on in, have a seat. You need a bandaid
for anything. All right. Here's an aspir come on in, have a seat. You need a band-aid for anything.
All right, here's an aspirin just in case.
All right, I'm gonna go check out the latest episode
of Diagnosis Murder.
If anyone needs me, I'm watching Ion.
I've got to be diagnosed better.
He's such a good doctor.
So hot, god.
So, so Tamara goes and finds Vicki in like a sitting room.
She's just sitting over their head fully wrapped
Like in a donut with like a strap across her forehead. She's just sitting there eyes her wide frozen
How are you?
I like how to drop a drop of bad batch news, but fuck it. Batch Gina match
I got a call for shaman's and she said that G Gina has off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s strap with that. I don't even know what that is. Steve would like that. Okay. What is that? Jamaica so much. Jamaica's dead. Okay. Look, here's all I said. I said, if you need
medicine, take it. But I'm saying this now in public, tea people, shattered,
but door is not better than ill. She just has illnesses that are mental, but she's not mentally
ill. So, um, yeah, this is, I'm, so again, Tamra clearly has a grudge. And it's just very important for me to remind everyone
that Tamra spent all of Jamaica talking shit about Shannon.
And Gina finally then tells Shannon,
by the way, your friends were saying this stuff
about you, Shannon calls Tamra and says,
by the way, Gina has been saying
that you're a terrible friend to me.
And now Tamra's mad at Gina
and this whole ridiculous situation has happened all because of the way Tamra acted originally.
I know it's so hard to follow because Gina should never have said anything.
No, so Gina, this is your own damage.
She's dumb.
She's a dumb dumb.
Then Shannon, wait, so then Tamra started it, right?
Because Tamra was saying all this nasty stuff.
But then Shannon really started it because Shannon Tamra was saying all this nasty stuff, but then she
hadn't really started it because she hadn't even been an asshole.
So let's not, you know, I'd love to just put everything in Tamra's lap and this one is heavily
in Tamra's lap, it's acting like a damn wacky dude, okay?
She really is.
I mean, she is acting like a wacky dude and she wasn't being a good friend to Tamra, but
it was squashed and Tamra still continued to talk shit.
So, you know, Tamra's fault.
So I said I don't do fake, so just tell me the truth, Jinas, because I'm not fake, I don't
dare fake.
I'm like, oh, you are the worst, you are the worst.
And then my evaluation switched right back and I went, yeah, back to Tamra, origin stories.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. I like Tamra saying that she doesn't do fake
while she simultaneously compares her plastic surgery
to bikinis.
So Gina, meanwhile, Gina and Kelly are talking
about the big fight and everything.
And Gina's like, I don't know why I got born at,
or should I never say to anything about anyone
being a bad friend.
I was just saying I was saying, you know,
like she was worried about, she might lose custody of her kids. I was saying these are the things they anyone being a bad friend. I was just saying, I was saying, you know, like she was worried about.
She might lose custody of her kids.
I was saying, these are the things that are being saying about you.
I was trying to be a good friend.
I like how she just...
I just know.
She's like, she called me back up those stairs.
It's like it does sound like a horror movie.
I'm so low-sprable on.
I'm so low-sprable on.
Before you leave, what you mind coming back up here, up here, up here.
So I went up to stairs and I saw Shannon looking
at the mirror at the window and I went up to her
and I said, hey, Shannon, I'm here.
I'm here to tell you about what people are saying about you
and I walk up to her and I turn around.
She was a skeleton.
I was like, whoa, this surgery is crazy for you.
It's like terrifying.
I was thinking you're scary music. Oh, okay. I was like Ramona
laughing in the background. So I was viewing it to Ramona voice. Well, that is horror movie
soundtrack. So there you go. Horror movie score. So I have custody of my children. I don't
want their girl band to have to break up if I lose one. So tell me what they're saying,
saying, saying. And Kelly is eating this popsicle with her huge mouth and it's hilarious
It looks like she's putting a tiny I don't know like person in her mouth. Yeah, it's just wrap around this popsicle
That popsicle come from anyway. We're moving into a casita. Did she does Gina just have popsicles in her casita?
Because I bet she does yeah, you know she's like would you like a foxicle? They were in the check out line it Ross, you know
She's like, what is this taste like strawberry ass?
I also have some artisanal popcorn
Yeah, like five month old popcorn covered in corn syrup girl. I've eaten you okay, and I remember you
Yeah, like every
anytime that Marshalls wants to turn over their impulse up impulse purchase aisle they pretty much just send like a little flyer to Gina be like news new items in stock like okay here she comes
she's like jetting in uh so this conversation was funny so they're in the car and she's like jetting in. So this conversation was funny. So they're in the car and she's like, I didn't even say anybody was a bad friend.
And Kelly's like, so she was threatening you.
She's like, no, no, not threatening.
Just making me feel bad.
So she was manipulating you.
Yeah.
Well, you know, like I guess kind of manipulating.
So she was murdering you.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
More of the manipulations.
She is no smarter.
What did you say?
Diagnosis murder.
I figured it out.
So and then I also liked how I think at this point, Gina was talking about the thing at the
deck or maybe it was Tamara who knows but apparently,
you know, because Shannon, Tamara did this thing where she was like, you know, I don't
want to talk about, I don't want to talk about Shannon anymore.
I don't want to talk about Shannon anymore.
No, I don't want to talk about Shannon, my best friend, which is funny because that's all
she's been doing for the past several episodes.
So Gina's like, fine, you don't want to talk about Shannon.
Why don't we talk about my birthday party.
I'm going to be turning 34 and every year I want, I want a sequence on my birthday party. I'm gonna be turning 34 and every year I want a weird sequence on my birthday and they just cut the camera staring at Gina saying
this was just the angriest, beatiest evil eyes like I had to batch I can't
like I talk about sequence when we should be talking about Shannon's.
Brother, every year on my birthday I have a litter of gerbils and eat them.
Hey batch. Every year on my butt I have lots of hot sex with edda, okay?
We have nothing but sex and sex and all sex and sex.
Fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' all the times.
I don't know, it sees a salad on the side of sex dressing.
Oh, so back to Tamran, Tamran.
Tamran and I just made her so classy.
It's not a pretty name Tamran.
That was Tamran, that's nice. Yeah, so Tamran and Vicki are just made her so classy. It's not a pretty name Tamran. That was Tamran. That's nice. Yeah
So Tamra and Vicki are back on the on the other couch and Vicki Tamra's like I said
I said I said the star I said tell me a side of the story and she said she went up to
Shamsa out of a plane of concern, that is bullshit. Vicky's like bullshit, yeah, it's bullshit. It's bullshit.
Yeah, really, it's a bullshit.
Stupid.
So basically Vicky's gonna have a pajama party with Shannon
and instead of going to Gina's birthday party
and Tamara's like, well, I wanna come to.
So we can see where this is headed.
There's gonna be an issue.
So then also, Tamaraer brings up like,
oh, by the way, did you know that I'm less having a cup of
ratings?
Yeah, she's gonna be looking into Eddie's junk.
Get it, he's got a big cup, he's got a big dick,
and I know, because I've sex with him all the time,
and I measure it with my vaginas.
That's the back of the cup.
I'm never gonna be like, oh my god,
that's like the video. No, I've no desire to go to voodoo Jesus Christ
Come come down come down with me to help me Jesus. Oh Jesus. Oh God. Oh, no. That's not Christian. That's satanic. Oh God
Turkish coffee. I mean not after 1 p.m. Steeds rules no
So Gina and Kelly are moving into the casino
Okay, he's like wow So Gina and Kelly are moving into the casino.
Kelly's like, this is some gather.
I've never been on your own before.
No, it's what.
It's that.
And she starts all that bullshit again.
Yeah, and I look ahead.
She's got a sign that says she leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes.
Is that what we're calling roll dies now? I'm sparkling. I'm like, dude, I'll probably lamb right this sign.
Like an Oprah book from back in the day.
She's coming.
Done.
Whoa.
Yeah, and I noticed also by the way, like now that she has her own casita,
she has just basically like a zoo of pillows. It's just so many pillows on these couches
And then one just says hello
Why do you have a pillow that says hello?
Hi pillow. Hi, Gabba
Makes me feel like someone's in the casita with me. Hello
It's just like when Matt's home
That's why I have a pill it says when Matt's home
So she goes into her whole thing she's like it's gonna be so weird
It's gonna be the first birthday. I have a head when Matt doesn't get me a cord
Is it gonna be the first Christmas?
Where he does get me a card?
And Kelly's like, maybe I'll get you a card.
Kelly is like not equipped for these scenes.
I know.
She's just like a nice supportive friend.
And she has to sit there.
She has a good sport though.
She sits there and listens to Gita every fucking time.
I know.
And she seems to do it like happily.
Like she's not getting annoyed the way Tamra is.
And she's Kelly's been on Gina duty all season long.
She had to stay with her in Jamaica.
She's the one who had to like go with her to Shannon's place.
Like she's had to go to the damn sequin birthday party
later this episode.
So yeah, she actually smiles and has fun with them.
It's not like the other three witches where, you know, everybody has to like really try and make an effort to like smiles and has fun with them. It's not like the other three witches where everybody has to really try and make an effort to like them and
be friends with them. Yeah. So now we go over to Emily's house where Emily and her sister
in law shareen are putting glasses and food on the table. So she's getting ready for
her thing. Then we see Shannon's at the doctor getting a check up on her eyes. She's
like, well, I can't quite move my eyes.
I, uh, they seem to be locked into place.
I seem to be focused on one thing and that's my happiness.
Huh, because I have a lot of it.
So happy.
Happy person.
I'm full.
I range movement.
And he's like, well, just roll your eyes back a little.
She's like, huh, well, I know some people I'd like to roll my eyes at.
Doctor, not move. He's like, oh, well, I know some people I'd like to roll my eyes at, Dr. Not Moo.
Oh, that was good.
That was good.
Now, when I roll my eyes back, does that count as exercise?
Because I'd like to see that I'm working out today.
Then over with Kelly and Jolie, Kelly's like, are you practicing fear play?
So, yes, mother, I practiced five hours today and yesterday and the day before
and I'm like, whoa, that's a lot for the chorus of Oliver.
Yeah.
That's a lot.
Yeah, it's a lot of practice.
I'm worried to see this play.
So Kelly says, this might help it.
Okay.
It's like, uh, Mom, it's a PG show.
You shouldn't show your boots everywhere.
Mom, it's Oliver.
You should be dressed like a street surgeon,
like the rest of us.
Do I look like a hooker?
Yes.
Good. I didn't ride.
We're just totally fine.
Isn't Nancy a hooker in Oliver?
I think she is.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I've never seen Oliver.
Well, shame on you.
I've never seen it.
I saw it so long ago.
I don't even remember if Nancy's a hooker or not.
So there you go go everybody. Hey,
Shelly, are you gonna be a car or dog mother? It's Oliver or not Oliver and company
I don't know if I can sit through another movie with you on a camel. That's Lawrence of Olivia. What is it?
Lawrence of Arabia. Where'd I come off with that Lawrence of a Lovie?
Lawrence of a. Lawrence of Olivier. Lawrence of Olivier. Okay, let's just stop this.
Are you gonna be like, hang out with that sailor who likes to spinach?
Mom, that's olive oil.
I love olive oil.
So good for you. It's so much better than butter, mom.
I'm writing a musical called Coconut Oil.
Coconut oil. mom I'm writing a musical called coconut oil yeah it's about going paleo so
then Emily is still getting ready and she's like we're running out of time to
get this party together but these kids are so needy oh that's good you should
have three more immediately. Yeah
Exactly, and then note that she does nothing to tend to the kids
So which is so mean because it's like the camera cut away, but I'm like basing all her parenting on the precut
I'm like, well if the kids need stuff you should maybe do things for the kids Emily
So Tamara comes over and
Bad mother alert! So, Tamra comes over and now we're like, it's now like, you know, sort of like Turkish
cup reading, which I think we first saw on Real Housewives of New York when a Turkish
cup reader was like,
Karu, you were on a marathon and seats on many counters.
So, Shireen is basically explaining, cup reading to Tamra,
and I fully expected Tamra was gonna do that thing
where when she drank the Turkish coffee,
she'd be like, Pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, she did do a very tamar thing. She is, it's a psych-expressor.
Yeah, expressor.
Now, the best part of all this was Tamra.
Then she tells us, you know what?
I don't know if I believe in psychics.
I think it's just fun and gums.
And then the producers show Tamra bringing around her,
quote unquote, psychic in back in 2015.
And he's like,
guys, I'm not not getting a psychic vibe about Brooks having cancer.
I don't think he has it.
Yeah, that's what I'm getting in terms of like, oh my God.
That means he doesn't have it.
Yeah, totally believe in gay psychics and a massage horse on Tidgin.
Happen to be my best friends.
But random psychics. Yeah, don't seconds. Yeah, that's a mean that was hilarious. That was basically
producers calling Tamer out to say, you know, basically, she wanted
to call it biggie all this time, but she wanted to sort of make it
seem like it came from a psychic. So, which of course, you all
knew such a classic housewives move to just bring a psychic to say and what you want to say and Emily does it to you know
Emily has the exact same thing happened where she's like here's the pertinent information
Okay psychic Laney
So Gina, but I just love that the editors every time Tamra says anything. They're like
Tamra's the Liabatch and here's my and they just like national geographic footage of,
you know, tamar eating the head off of up, you know, baby possum or whatever. Okay, so the girls all
start coming over and tamar's super cold. Yeah, like she won't speak to Gina. She's just like
twirling her straw weave in her hair and giving her the possum on top of the trash can look like.
swirling her straw weave in her hair and giving her the awesome on top of the trash can look like
Yeah, I wrote down cold hair brushing
Just like I'm so angry. I'm just going to stroke my hair and every stroke
well You'll feel my claws going down your back a lannus style
Yeah, it's very cheap weave. It's like it just
It sounds like when you scrunch up ziplocs, probably I'll imagine.
It's like when you pet the tail on a my little pony.
It's nice.
Um, so Kelly arrives at the play and she's like, oh my god, look at Michael with the ladies.
Yeah.
Cause he's volunteered to make buttons for people like made to order buttons.
Yeah. It's a great idea by the way.
Can we do that?
We should probably do that for our shows.
How do we get one of those machines?
We could take pictures and make buttons for everyone.
Yeah, made to order buttons.
Creppets buttons.
Creppets buttons.
So yeah, so he's there and he's like,
I like your hair Kelly, it's really good.
You know, your hair is beautiful
You should really get your get out of your face
You should really like like you should show your face your face is beautiful move your hair to the side
She's like oh my god
Some theater camp loser. Oh, sorry everyone here
Theater camp loser. Oh, sorry everyone here. It's like an atmosphere opinion. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
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And then we go over to the party and the mom Harry arrives and
she's wearing vicarious, she's through parents, but you know,
they're way better on her.
Like, you know, we had a school Vicki, Perry.
And then we have a very tense moment because Gina's like,
oh, I love how you dress matches your pocketbook.
And she's like,
he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,
did you call a pocketbook?
He's like, grandma caught a pocketbook.
Oh my god.
That's like grandma says. Like grandma caught a pocketbook.. Oh my god. Grandma says. Like grandma got a pack of
like grandma did that.
And she's like, I said pocketbook.
I'm from New York.
I called it a pocket book.
It's a pocket book.
It's a pocket book.
It's a pocket book.
It's a pocket book.
It's a pocket book.
Yeah, there.
It's a pocket book.
What a fight about it's a pocket book.
Pocket book.
So what it is, pocket books.
And then that's like the biggest shade ever.
And then they just tear it each other. I kept an answer to that pocket like, I can't believe she's getting mad at me for pocketbook.
It's like the equivalent of like frost, Nixon for Orange County.
Yeah.
So, so, so, so Gina.
Now Gina, so here's where Gina's really dumb.
So she's sitting there.
Now it's been like the fallout
of this whole situation where she told Shannon,
what Tamara was saying and then Shannon told,
Tamara and now Tamara's mad at Gina.
So Gina sits there and goes,
you know what?
At this point, I'm just over Shannon.
You know, I'm just over her, I'm over her.
And Tamara's just sitting there and her ankle is like rotating in circles
Like every rotation is just like it's like a crank pulling in the fuel that she's gonna go then deliver to Shannon
It's also gotta make you wonder if that's the ankle, you know, it's like oh your ankle seems okay right now when it's angry
True, too Okay, right now when it's angry. That's true too. Yeah, I'm so of a shenan,
because she called me up there,
it's talking about her kids being taken away.
And now she's making about whether or not
I said you were a shitty friend.
And look, yes, I think, Tamara,
I never said you've never been a shitty friend of me.
And I'll say that right now.
And so that kind of gets Tamara,
where she kind of purses her lips with her mouth wide open.
And Emily's like, okay, well,
here's where I'm out
with this whole thing because like, this girl I know
is true blue and never lies.
But Shannon, you know, takes tiny bits of info and spins it.
So my money's on this horse, all right?
That's what I vote for.
So I mean, I'm like you two are such idiots.
I mean, Tamer is just gonna take this
and put it in the worst context ever
and deliver it to Shannon.
And it's gonna be, and the fact is that Emily said
that this right on the heels of her saying,
well, I texted Shannon to see if she was feeling better
and she wrote me back and I wasn't expecting it.
So I feel like that's like a step in the right direction.
I just wanna start fresh with her.
I'm like, well, good luck with that
because Tamer's about to destroy all of that for you. And you did it to yourself.
Yes. And then Tamer said, I'm confused. Why? Why did this happen? That's why. Why? Why?
Why am I the victim again? Because you started it, Tamer. That's right. So over at the theater,
Kelly puts her arm around Michael
to watch Jolie and Jolie and her wig really is like so cute.
I know. I was so mad that Bravo did not get the rights to Oliver. Why can't you fork
over $200 that way we could see some of this production. It's not fair.
As long as he needs me. Hello. I don't know.
I don't love Oliver, but I love that song as long as he needs me.
Oh my God.
I'll still sing it drunk when I'm crying sometimes.
Just to sob on a piano and a smoky ball.
It's less about wanting to hear the actual production of Oliver.
It's more about wanting to take in a, like, tween community theater production.
You know, that's like one of my favorite things, just watch, watch that shit, because it just
reminds me of my youth.
Not me, I mean, don't you feel like a creep?
I'm not here to be my, I'm at the children's production of Oliver.
It's me, man.
Anybody want to sit on my lap, take a picture? Oh, I think it's hilarious
I'm not saying I want to actually go to those. I don't want to sit and go. I don't want to go
On TV if it's on TV. I don't want to hear public domain music played over it
I want to definitely
On like wait, this is Vicki trying know, trying to take off her face bandages
for the first time, clown music.
This isn't Oliver.
I know, but Kelly is very impressed with Oliver.
She's like, oh, it's pretty profess.
It's good.
And then afterwards she brings, she gives flowers to Julie
because she was sort of like playing several different roles.
And one of them was like a little boy.
And she's like, oh, Julie, if you ever want to transition you look good as a boy you do she's
like mother she just walks right away from her so now we go back now it's time for
Turkish cup reading and we have Mary Ann and she's gonna read Mary Ann was sort of
what was pretty vague as as Bravo fortune tellers go. She was really on the vague side
I mean given that they're all at a base level of vagueness
So she's like she starts reading Tamer's fortune and she's like let's see here. I
See trashy son you have trashy son
You have trashy son. Yes, but anybody can have a trashy son.
Yeah, it's like many things happen in your life and you have the right to do something
for yourself.
My thanks, Marianne, great insight.
Oh, because you decide to divorce.
And Tim was like, I'm not going to divorce.
Well, I see you praying.
There's two people here.
It is dark. He has heart problems. She's like, um
What the hell is he gonna die? Is he gonna die? I think I'm not saying die, but you are separate
And you'll be all right. Yeah, she goes you'll be separate for two days
But then you'll be all right good luck to you. I'm like, oh, yes, Tamara. I could like her on those two days
So it's like what this woman freaks me out
My love can come up with the addicts
So then his Emily's turn and Maryam is like you nice heart nice family love the cupcakes
Okay, somebody's close to you give you many ting and say yeah, that's true
Very close to you. You have to give her back many things
I'm like I think she's suggesting that you just hand those friends and embryos over to your sister to your end
I
I thought it was more about like you have to return the Tupperware that your sister not brought over for this party
Yeah, give Perry her C3 pants back that you stole from Vicki. Yeah,
so Gina, Gina, I see a piece of paper in your future. You have to sign the paper. That's
all I see. Sign the paper. I mean, some people are really into that, but you know, check
the paper. What if I were to check that's paper paper. And then, is, uh, I know we have a shareen here,
but is there someone else who has an SH in their name,
SH, SH, and they're all like,
Shannon, and she's like, oh, yes, Shannon.
Uh, Shannon needs lots of help.
You should help her. Lots and lots of help.
Soon she very sad.
I see cream cheese. I see cream cheese in my cup
Why is there cream cheese in my cup?
Lot and lots of pirouze of dog poop
Archie Archie is his name
Help her now
She stuck she's stuck in a bike. Please go help her out of her bicycle
Um, so yeah, this was pretty lame.
This T-reading thing.
And so Tamra's like, um,
Shuh, Shuh, it could be a shun.
I'm gonna call bass on the, okay?
Bass.
Ah.
Bass.
So, Gina's like, okay, thanks for the boring party, Emily.
So everybody else is coming to my birthday tomorrow is so shall right my glitter party
Brian and
Tamra tells us um I haven't met up my month. I'll have if I'm going on
So I'll let him know
Um that's a lie she knows 100% that she's not gonna go so uh you can see in her squinty
Possum black eyes like her eyes turned black like the devil is taking over somebody
You know when she squints. Yes, and when she says she'll let her know. Yeah, she you know she's not gonna going and you know
She's not gonna let her know also in general. I'll let you know is the universal code for I'm not going
Maybe means right. Yeah, almost always so
So now it's like the next day and Gina and Tatiana getting ready for the big party at social and
Coast and Mesa they can wear sequins because that's hilarious. It's it's a tradition every year of sequins on my birthday for no good reason
Doesn't really make sense for anything, but we're gonna do it because it's cool
Yon no, this is what I what I'm not gonna get birthday card.
God, I hope she gets upset over birthday card.
Oh, she dies and then she gets to college.
I miss a game winning point for my son at his game.
I mean, he's a waiting boy.
And so she faced the game.
Nikki got the game ball.
Oh, when I left that game to come here,
it's just, it's a lot.
It's a lot.
Game balls, that's sort of a thing
So over at Vicky's home office Michael comes in and he kisses your in the bump heads
Such a cut. Oh such a cut. Oh such a cut. So
Michael's like so yeah, I don't know you're even going under and then Kelly starts sending me face times of staples in your ears
Mom, so thanks for telling me, you know,
And then we get a clip of Kelly facetiming from Vicky's room and going Michael
Guess who this is it's a terrifying monster creepy mommy
He's like mom's like exactly
Yeah, and
Exactly! Yeah, and Vicky was trying to keep the whole thing secret
from Michael and from Brianna.
And of course, Michael told Brianna,
so Brianna got all mad.
I'm like, listen Brianna, like I get it.
Like Vicky should not be having this many surgeries,
but like don't project, you know,
your husband probably yells at you
for putting your feet up on that couch
and don't take it out on Vicky, okay?
Don't take that out on Vicky, okay? Don't take that out on Vicky
So that all that stuff nothing's gonna happen, okay? It's just a face week, but
Lizard if I die those are box at me the box and he's like don't can't you just get a safety deposit box and she's like
I said to deposit box what hold on this look here's files and then she opens up this box of files and it's
Terrifying what Vicky is this really scary person
Okay, she acts like she's all fun and light heart, you know
You she was even cute when she was like pretend you know faking cancer pills and all that stuff. Yeah, but this
She's got insurance on like everybody's that she's ever known in her life
Okay, she's taking out life insurance on everybody. Yeah, she's Tammy Nicarbocker's life insurance policy.
Yeah.
This is for Quinn Fry.
Yeah, I get hers too.
Gretchen Rossi, god, I'm surprised that was taking so long to be honest, right?
Look, I have dots too.
Okay, look, I still, Don and I made it to war, but I still have his insurance, okay?
Out of the policy, I made it to previous, and I get the betty, right?
Okay, that probably should know about this
All right cut that out cut that part out you to cut that part out, right? Yeah, you get cut it out, right? Yeah, okay
I'm taking insurance policies out on you. I'm gonna take a girl
I'm I know plenty of
You know, I'm gonna take a look like you're about to die. You know, I don't have the healthiest of friends
I'm gonna take out policies on everybody. I just take one out on you Ronnie
I don't have the healthiest of friends. I'm gonna take out policies on everybody.
I just take one out on you, Ronnie.
You know what, my sister actually suggested
that we take out life insurance policies on each other.
And I said, well, that is the most morbid shit I've ever heard.
And she's like, yeah, but she is.
What if Ben gets hit by a car?
How are you gonna make a living?
And I was like, well, thanks for your confidence, A.
You know, I have to say that thought has crossed my mind.
Like, if something happens to one of us,
like I rely on you
This is this is my livelihood now if I I have rely on you Ronnie
So let's take out 19 million dollar policy. How much is that gonna cost?
We're gonna go to Kudu insurance everyone. Bye. Yeah, but you know that the second one of us does die
Then it's gonna become a huge murder mystery like how they've been kill Ronnie because you know
It's gonna be me who dies, you know. We'll have to call up diagnosis murder. I'm gonna call Cindy C on the case case.
So anyway and more morbid news Emily is setting up a birthday table at social the hottest club
in all of Costa Mesa and so while she's's doing that, Vicki's at home, and she's wearing some chili pepper pajamas,
and she goes up to Steve, and she's like,
has to have a bunch of beers.
I need some beers, is that okay?
And she's like, of course, he's like, no, you can't have it,
because the doctor said no, you can't have it.
And Vicki goes, Steve is like the best-looking nurse
I could ask for.
Like, hmm, I've seen a lot of movies Vicki goes, Steve is like the best-looking nurse I could ask for.
Like, hmm, I've seen a lot of movies that seemed to indicate they're a way better looking nurses out there. Male nurses.
Oh, but Vicki's, you know, Vicki's like the portion of the show where she's going to talk herself into any man that's in front of her.
Yeah, sure. And she's like, yeah, that is a bad Steve because I haven't had any Zadak since the doctor. I don't like that stuff
I like it's dry. I say tatek is drugs. He's like, all right
You're not gonna have wine, but I'm gonna get you some more Zanek. I say okay, okay. Thank you. Thank you for the Zanek
Yes, okay, you know Zanek's but backwards is that's a Tatek
That's a Tatek, okay
So Vanne's a very me Vicki and Shannon I put those together Vicki's like oh
Steve by the way I forgot to tell you shattered has it pooped at surgery only little drips
So I'm gonna help her. It's like God sounds like a real fun night guys
This is what happens when you don't drink coffee after 4 p.m
Coffee keeps it going keeps it moving
So we've got that to look forward to yes, so Kelly comes to the party and Emily's like I'm a party planner
Look, I put things with glitter on the table. That's right
Yeah, she's like I put flowers on the table whoa
Crazy, I got a cake that has glitter on it. That is why I am who I am the party planner
And then Gina comes and she's like did you do all this for me? I got a cake that has glitter on it. That is why I am who I am, the party planner.
And then Gina comes and she's like,
did you do all this for me?
She's like, I sure did.
I didn't get you a birthday present,
but I did everything here.
Also, I did that cake.
Also, look at that.
Look at that glitter thing right there.
I did that.
It's like, okay, Emily.
I know.
So, everyone's showing up at this already very sad birthday party.
And it's like daytime and they're all in, they're like a pub and they're fully in sequence
and the lights coming in.
And so they're all sitting there and it's like, where's Tamra?
Where's Tamra?
And sure enough, we go over to Vicky's house and Ding Dong, it's Tamra and she shows up
looking like a
Stelgeti. She's made herself look like an old lady because she's wacky, wacky
Tamra. I was like, well, because Gina caught us jerry yacht tricks and
Jamaica's. So I thought, okay, why not love up to the name.
You do it every day. Like what is this that you're in?
So she gets to see that Tam tamers aspiring for something in mind.
She puts on this. Yeah, she's in like a mom's family type.
She has like stage makeup, which is hilarious to be old.
And so tamers dancing around like, I'm in a whitey.
And because I had a Zadix of white.
So that's why that right now.
Yeah. And tamer like gives her like a house code and Vicky puts it on over her little
chilly pajamas or whatever.
I'm sure a casserole because it's like oh my god finally someone brings me a casserole
when I'm sick.
I've always wanted a casserole.
She's like I know that.
Remember those GCs and times wrecking your over the coast for that like ruining your life.
These are those memories fun now.
Are they fun?
I have to say Vicky's surgery actually looked pretty good. I thought, although she
her face looked totally frozen. I mean, obviously it is because it's healing, but she, it looked
good, but you could see she could just like move like the very tips of her lips. She's
like, it's good. I really can't talk right now. Steve open the sausage. Make me laugh.
Make me laugh. Yeah, it's weird because it doesn't look that different. I don't think because we see the whole
Susan in the in the talking heads. Yeah, so tighter a little still
Like just I mean it looks fine. You know it looks fine. I like when Michael told her okay now your face is back to the old one
So can we just stop doing this?
And I'm like you just sent her down another spiral or same, you know, by saying yeah. Exactly. So, Tamara has brought some anima's for Shannon and stuff. She's just
being wacky. And then, um, Vicki, I think Vicki says something like, are you going to
Gina? I don't know what it is, but Gina comes up and Tamara goes, Oh my God. I forgot
to call Gina. I totally forgot. Not once when I was making a casserole for you to go to you
Instead of her party. Not once that I think I should call her. Oh my God
Never crossed my mind
I'm thinking like what what is she did. Does she think you're going?
And Gina's back at the party. She's like not that I'm not enjoying this glitter cake and this fried calamari
But I'm gonna call her. I'm gonna call her so she calls her and time is like, I can't face time like this batch
I'm an old lady. She's gonna know my party right now. That I don't let it out of but a bit
So and Gina's like can't believe she didn't answer. I hope everything's okay. I hope everything's okay
And then back at bickies. There's another doorbell. And Steve goes to answer it.
It's Shannon. And before we even see her, Shannon literally does what we always impersonate her doing, but she never really does.
She goes, huh.
She let her go.
I thought we were supposed to be wearing pajamas
like we- oh my god
oh that didn't I- oh tonight it's not the trace of me guys it's the trace of
blo- oh
haha
haha
look at this there's three of us now
haha
haha
so later Vicki's like well Kelly dot copcom made so I guess they're all still talking.
She's like, oh, because it's how the shamans constipates and I have to help shout us.
James, like, you are not blaming me on this one. She's already trying to get my children taken away.
Yeah. So then meanwhile, over at Gina's party, Gina's sitting with Kelly, she's like,
oh my god, maybe it's Emily, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, she's Emily and she's like, oh my god.
So Matt called me last night and he's like,
trying to have phone sex with me.
And I didn't know what to do.
So I just read things off of my pillows.
I was like, hello, gather, wander.
Home is where the heart is.
He came when I read the lady does boaster.
He was like, oh, I want to bone you.
And I was like, je t'aime.
I love you.
I told them I'm taking one rug off the other rug right now.
And boom, sploosh.
It came through right through the phone
So roller shaman is putting getting rollers put on tamer's fitting rollers on her and Vicki's like oh
Anybody needs that X I have extras now look to anybody on this show who's wondering why people are still friends with Vicki
This is why she's a generous person. Yeah, how many friends you have that offer you one of their X
Exactly and on top of that
The old lady party did look more fun than the sequence party. I'm sorry
I would have wanted to get the old lady party. They both look sad. I was sad. I was sad about these parties
Yeah, well either way
Tamra and Shannon go into the bathroom to do the anima and I guess because in this case it was roller reversal
Shannon was giving Tamra the anima. She's like, okay, well, here's what you do.
You just take the thick David in the butt right here like that.
And then you just like squeeze and you try not to think about all those dinner parties
that only had two bars of wine because David did not think that maybe he should get five
bottles for once.
Ha, let it out.
Let it all poop out.
Yeah, I was really glad we got another, you know, someone getting something stuck up their butt to poop storyline on OC.
It's been too long, guys. It's been too...
I know, and then Shannon comes out of the bathroom and Shannon does.
Shannon has like that one type of lap that she does where she's like,
Ha, I'm so happy!
Where she like puts her chin over her shoulder and squins her eyes and just go, Hey! Ah! Glorious!
Great times!
Friends!
Ah!
Look at her!
Hi!
It's a silent off!
Look my shoulders!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Look at how mentally stable I am right now.
No mental illness here, just excitement for my future with my girlfriend
40 to 50
Positive thoughts maybe some some in the negative count if you maybe like
Tanner I don't know sometimes 20 it's mean, about 40, about 40 negative thoughts before.
Generally, they're positive.
And then, Tamer's like, oh my god, I'm on self-coming out,
BITCH!
And Steve goes, I'm not cleaning that up.
I just imagine all sorts of ghosts.
It's like that scene in Ghostbusters
when they open up the vault and all the ghosts come out.
That's what happens when Tamer gets an endima.iver some that's in like a machine gun filled with like
Kind barris or whatever
Very specific kind of much so um so now back over the other one Emily it's all silly
Um, I know you've never been to like a stinson party. She's like simsins
Whoa, oh I thought they're like the simsins like bar. You know bar. He's like a door like Kauwbonga, maybe whoa and I have been to a simsins party
Cuz he knows he has yeah, and then um back over at the oh Emily's like
My mother-in-law was really sweet, but I think my, I want my own mother to come to my party. And I think that
the theme is going to be San Fatale party in Kelly's. Is that a hooker? Does that
mean hooker? Kelly? Kelly is obsessed with dressing like a hooker for something
that's a percent. She just, I just dress like a hooker and Emily goes, okay, yeah, just dress like a hooker. She goes that's easy
I'm gonna bring the milk man
By the way the milk man and the milk man is totally the sort of guy that gets screwed over by FM Patel
FYI. Oh, yeah totally
I thought I was just driving this car to a different lot for her as a favor
But it turns out her dad house when it in the trunk and now I'm a child
Hey guys check out my new girlfriend Linda Fiorentino. I think things are gonna work out
So over Vicki she's like, oh everybody let's gather about the checks mix and say a prayer to Jesus
Jesus, thank you for my friend's face.
My friend's faces
Friendly faces in general. Thank you Jesus Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
And that hot hot hot boy friend who's sitting over there in the armchair
Dozing off while reading
Doonsberry
Thank you for my hot boy. Please make him as hard as Jesus. Thank you Jesus
So Kelly calls up and just like where are you?
Oh my god, I'm at Vickie's house. I thought we're gonna do sequence parties hairs, maybe
Tell me my mind is how does I believe any of the small and yeah
So cuz like Timon forgot shit you're an oversight you're an oversan
He's like was funny. Just like that's okay They'll be more birthdays, but no more birthday cards because Matt used to get me birthday cards
And now we're like fucking birthday cards, and now I have like then I miss Nikki getting a game ball like, oh, can we go to cookies?
It's not your fault you haven't visited me in a while and didn't understand together.
Okay, so, okay, I'll give you a gatha.
So there's funny when Gina, when Gina says, it's okay, they'll be more birthdays.
Acosta Shannon and Vicki and Tamer, they're like, how could you imply that?
It's like, it it pretty standard response?
Santa starts reading into every single thing to be offended.
I mean, Jesus Christ, that won't make it
to be offended over anything.
So Kelly's like, okay, so later it's on like Donkey Kong.
Over there at that party you're having,
it's like, they're making fun of us in the background,
saying we're playing bridge. That's where Rocky Kong throws barrels from well cuz Emily's like they're probably playing bridge and
drinking martinis huh martinis bridge donkey Kong what are they trying to say listen are you trying
to say we're wild animals torn barrels no all right well I have fun but none your fuck cream and she's like Oh, and they're making whatever fuck cream look you literally spent today putting on
Foot cream on each other like come on
It's like you know I have to be this mad, okay? You guys are the ones being dicks in this situation
You guys are sticking animals up your asses, okay? So
The temperate September response because
That's a roll. Yeah.
Tim was like, well, you know, you get to us in an edge and sequence
and nightclub just don't matter.
I'm a.
They're like, oh,
bruh.
Meanwhile, she's still mad that Kelly didn't invite her to nightclubs
with Sam.
Yeah.
So meanwhile, Vicki is sitting there going, I don't want that life.
I don't want that life.
I don't want to go back to that life. Mike, well Mike well congratulations you haven't been in that life for like 45 years. I left that girl
Liddy Boor. Just last week you were in a thong and the see-through outfit twerking all of your
strangers. I'm not a girl not yet a woman. Oh,
She got it's me. F*** it.
Sometimes I cry.
I don't give a f*** up.
F*** it's a s**t.
And I like it.
I like it.
F*** it's a f***ing old b***h.
I love it.
She's finally that Molly Shannon character, but she's making it like the hateful version.
I'm going to skip your birthday party, cause I'm faster, bitch!
Yeah, so, so, so, so, now that once they're off the phone,
Tamara's like, well, they made fun of my foot cream,
so I'm gonna, here's what I'm gonna do.
She goes, you know what, I didn't say this,
but I sound from this to say this now, okay?
Because Emily, hey Shannon.
Emily said, because I grew up with a mentally ill mom,
I saw some loudness with Shannon.
She's like, huh, huh, what, huh?
Oh, she can just diagnose me like a murder?
No.
Did someone call me?
Someone mean me?
No, Steve, it's a diagnosis of being mentally disabled,
that murder.
He's like, all right, I'm back to the TV.
Call me if you need me.
I'm not cleaning up that poop.
Now, for those of you guys who haven't been paying attention and
there probably actually are a lot of you given the season.
Earlier this season, Shannon said regarding Emily's marriage, you know,
when I look at that marriage, I see a lot of similarities with David.
And then Tamara or I think Tamara was the one who was like,
Shadow is saying that Shadow's abusive or whatever and became a whole thing and
Shadow's saying, no, I was just comparing it to my experience.
So now it's exactly the inverse situation, exact the same people.
And notice how Shadow's real.
That's a good point.
Yeah, Shadow's like die
Hick knows me. Oh, oh this coming from a person not what but twice written to kill Kelly
Which I'm sure wasn't hyperbole at all and as an attorney she said no not to thank those people mentally
Mental illness. Fuck her. Oh, geez. Look here.
Yeah, so, and the thing is this, that when Kelly,
when Emily said it last week, she said,
no, I'm not a medical professional
and I'm not trying to diagnose anyone.
I'm just saying, I see similarities,
and it's like she was just saying it was triggering her.
So like, Tamra is such a fucker.
God bless her.
I'm so glad that the side of Tamra's back. Yeah, Tamra really is. What a jackass.
And then next week is the season finale. Like boom, out of nowhere, season finale.
That's a finale. That's a bad. Thank God. I mean, this time, this show needs an app.
Okay. Yeah. It felt like, it felt like there were a few times the season where it was
going to like, just like roar to life. I was like, okay, they've been regrouping and now it's
going to come together. And it's sort of it's been fine. I've actually I think the season has been
fine. I just don't think it's been spectacular. However, Shannon's meltdown episode was pretty
epic and classic. But yeah, worst this. I mean, we love covering.
I love covering the show.
I always loved covering it.
Even the worst episodes are still so much fun to make fun of.
But I mean, if I were a viewer, I don't know that I'd still be on the train.
It's like, yeah, but shaman, yes, scrimmage twice.
It's episode 17 by myself watching this batch.
Well, we, you know, here's what we don't need.
We don't need more cast members that have small kids
that are going to deport.
I don't know, it's just, we want,
I need some petty ass women who are ready to fight
and want to fight all the time.
And I think Gina and Emily were moving the right direction,
but I think something's gone awry in Orange County.
I think they messed with the cast chemistry
and this is where we're at now because of it.
Yeah.
Well, we will find out what they bring next week for this thethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethetheth each other's faces off for no reason. So we'll still be here for a while. But I just got my face.
Everybody thanks so much for being here and listening. Go get your Christmas and
Hanukkah shirts over at crapandsomemerch.com and all that just for Ben will be doing his
below deck live stream tonight over on the TV party app. I will be doing Real Housewives of New
Jersey tomorrow night at 6 p.m. Pacific I think Dallas.
Wait, wait, is it Dallas?
Dallas, Dallas, Dallas, Dallas, sorry.
Which is at 7.
Whatever, just stay, it won't pay attention to social media.
Yeah, pay attention to the answer.
Okay, everybody, love you, talk to you tomorrow.
Bye.
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