Watch What Crappens - Enema of the State

Episode Date: November 14, 2018

The Real Housewives of Orange County fight through parties. A young glitter party and a geriatric casserole enema party. It's as exciting as it sounds. This week's bonus episode is a recap of... the Shahs of Sunset season finale! To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail until Nov at www.CrappensMerch.com. Free Shipping on orders over $45 until Nov 26 with code FREESHIP11d3fb97 You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun.
Starting point is 00:00:26 I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. I've been so much fun. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Shivone she don't take no baloney. Hey the Parker the Parker Soros. Mina Kuchi Kuchi Kuchi. Pristie Wower D Dowardy. Telly Barlow when she goes Barlow we go Hylow. Hot dang it's Jessica dang. dang Megan Berg. He can't have a burger without the bird Jess saying okay Susie going to the Tobin Anna God I love that banana Anderson Ain't no thing like Allison King back in the sleigh of Taylor
Starting point is 00:01:19 Avadagila Weber! And our super premium Patreon subscribers! Shannon out of a canon Anthony! Kelly Grant, Big Grant Master! Give them hope! Miss Noel! The incredible edible Matthews sisters! And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker! We love you guys!
Starting point is 00:01:41 Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens! The podcast about all that crap. We just love to talk about On ye old bras. I'm Ronnie Karam. I'm also on the Rose Prick's bachelor podcast which comes back in January and here I am with the Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Hey, what's going on? Not much. How are you? I'm still nursing a hangover from Seattle. That was just a crazy fun time that weekend.
Starting point is 00:02:10 It's Tuesday and I'm still coming back to life. How are you doing? I'm doing good. Yeah, that was a really fun weekend. So you guys are so lucky because we don't have a ton of life just to show because they all sold out. So thank you for everybody who bought all those tickets. We're going to be going to, you know,
Starting point is 00:02:27 Nashville, Charleston, Dallas, the Grappie Awards here in LA. So we will have new tickets on sale for March and On Next Ring. We'll announce them as they come out. Hopefully that will be soon because, like, honestly, like we're dying to know where we're going next. We have no idea. Yeah. And then tonight, I'm going to be doing a TV party watch party thing.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I'm just going to, I'm going to watch a blow deck tonight. Uh, it's going to be about 6 p.m. Uh, Pacific. Uh, so fire up your TV party apps and, uh, join me. Also make sure you, you're signed up on Patreon because this is going to be exclusive for our Patreon TV Party supporters. So that's my final. Yeah, that's my final. I'll be doing Jersey Live. That'll be during the East Coast feed.
Starting point is 00:03:14 I'll be watching that on the TV Party app live with you guys. I guess what is that? 6 p.m. Yeah. Pacific 9 p.m. Eastern. I may be like a few minutes late because I have an appointment that ends at 5 p.m. Eastern. I may be like a few minutes late because I have an appointment that ends at 5 p.m. in basically Century City Los Angeles and getting from Century
Starting point is 00:03:34 City to Hollywood in an hour sometimes could be a challenge. So hopefully I won't be too late from that. But if I am just bare with me, I will come on. We can all sit and watch a blow deck together and laugh and enjoy everything that is Kate Chastain and Captain Lee. So another thing is go get our Christmas shirts. Happy Romona, okay. And ho ho ho, okay. And some Ramona as Santa Claus leggings. You can go get those at crappensamurch.com. And there's free shipping until the end of November for that code It's like a lot of numbers. It's free shipping over $45. Just go to our Instagram There's a post with the ho ho ho. Okay, you'll see the Ramona Santa Claus
Starting point is 00:04:13 Just go there and copy and paste that code So that's free shipping on all orders over $45 also we forgot to say thank you to the lovely lovely Geraldine, so you throw us that party in Seattle. We did, we did, we did, we did, we did, we did this in their names. It's Erica Wallister and Molly Pluger. I mean, you guys went all out.
Starting point is 00:04:32 There were cupcakes. There was a whole menu of crappin' strengths that they had created. It was just amazing, you guys. You went above and beyond for us. So thank you so much for doing that. We love you. That was super, super awesome.
Starting point is 00:04:46 And by the way, you guys brought us some really cool little gifts up there in Seattle. And I have to give a shout out. I'm so sorry. I don't remember who it was. Everything happened so quickly, but someone got us some cookies from Milk Bar and they were absolutely divine.
Starting point is 00:05:01 And those cookies kind of kept me going for the next 48 hours like it was the those cookies were all I ever needed and so I have to say thank you thank you very much for that. Yeah, those were delicious. It pulled out one of my temporary crowns and I still kept eating it. I mean, what a what a monster. Well, luckily, luckily you're going to the dentist today that fixed that. You'll be like, milk bar and she'll be like, okay, I get it.
Starting point is 00:05:25 Well, they better get some stronger glue. I'm telling you, because I have two crowns going in today and they better nail those in. Okay, because I'm a violent eater. You really don't realize how violently you eat until you get temporary crowns put in. I was like, even that. Oh my God, even a salad. You know, I had cheese toward leany the other day. So I was like, what mushy food can I get?
Starting point is 00:05:46 So I went like, rub hub and was looking for mushy food. And even cheese toward Alini, it's like the mushy as fuck and thing you can have for people. Okay, I almost swallowed my crown. Oh, well, because it's sticky. So it's not sticky, but like you're going to create suction. I personally, I hurt my tooth today eating special cake. I'm like, you know what, here's the thing is special K.
Starting point is 00:06:06 I love special K. I actually really do. And it's just, you know, it's basically like rice puffs. And you just eat them and they're nice. But every now and then, there's like one rice puff that was overly puffed and it's like hard. And you bite into it and you're like, oh, and you're like, why special K? Why are you doing that?
Starting point is 00:06:21 Why do you have these inconsistent flakes every like 12 spoonfuls? I, it's, it's, Well, I've discovered a new conspiracy and it is the food industry must be connected to the dental industry because they just want us to get in there. Like those strew poffles, we love strew poffles.
Starting point is 00:06:35 My teeth will hurt while I eat a strew poffle. Yeah. Like the, it's like the food is built to hurt your teeth so that you keep these people in business. Like I'm paying for Persian College for this kid, this dentist. Okay. I know. I think the Dutch, I think the Dutch really, they saw this as a potential revenue stream,
Starting point is 00:06:54 you know, a few hundred years ago. And they're like, you know what? Let's get this, droop waffle game going, and then dentistry is going to catch up and soon we're all going to cash in. Oh my God, I wonder if there are a ton of rich dutch dentists. I wanna find out because I'm convinced. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:10 But last night I really wanted pizza and there's this place that makes pizza that tastes like really cheap like Chuckie cheese. It's like it tastes like kind of pizza you have when you were, it's not great, but I still love it. I don't know why I love this. But it's where it rusts, it's chewy. Which one was it? Which place? Pizza Aoki. It's Steve Aoki's not great, but I still love it. I don't know why I love it. But it's what rest is chewy. Which one was it?
Starting point is 00:07:25 Which place? Pizza Aoki. It's Steve Aoki's pizza place, which I never put. I never put two and two together. And the delivery driver was like, oh, it's a Steve Aoki's pizza. Did you know that? And I was like, thanks. Grab hub.
Starting point is 00:07:39 Like, I don't know if that's a value ad. Nobody explains why I like it. It's total stoner pizza. You know, it's like, remember Chuck E. Cheese? And you can also order rocky why I like it. It's total stoner pizza. You know, it's like, remember Chuck E. Cheese? And you can also order rocky road on the side. I mean, that's a win. Oh, well, while you were ordering from there, I was ordering from the Swedish house mafia meatball company. Oh my God. So we had basically the same kind of night. I think it's really house mafia for a medium. Tiesto tacos and yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Yeah, Tiesta. Who I like that. It's like a fiesta with the Tiesta. Okay, guys, guess what we're not going to do? Talk about our food orders all night long. Okay, because we have a very important episode of Real Housewives of Orange County. And it was called Friends and Enemies. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:22 So basically, the episode opens up with Kelly going over to Gina's house to help her pack and bring stuff over to the casita. And you know Gina's house has become something of a fascination for us because of all the insane question Rossi decor that's in their Aka A, Bargain Bin, Junk from Marshalls and Steinmark. And I already just from the exterior shot, I was like, wow, there is a lot going on here. I don't know if you noticed this, Ronnie. There were two pink wreaths on the door. There was a pink wreath on a window, and then there was a giant green wreath
Starting point is 00:09:01 on a different window. And this was like in the summer. Well, sometimes you just need to get a job because if you don't have a job, you could have big lots or Michaels or hot be a lot, but you know, whatever's around your town, which is Orange County. So they've got all of those things. Yeah. And you just start, you just start reading up everything. Yeah, because like, here's the thing. Like, all like all right fine You want to have a wreath for every season fine. I'm not gonna roll my eyes too much at you But fine, but you don't need to have two pink wreaths on your front door and you don't need to have like
Starting point is 00:09:35 Like like supporting wreaths on like different windows on the exterior of your house and the in the middle of like May Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, it's too much. Some holidays, keep one breath. Christmas, get everything. So then we go inside the house and you know, we've observed Gina's bedroom before, but I just want to say there were, I counted as far as I could see, according to the naked eye, five furry pillows, two different throw blankets on the bed.
Starting point is 00:10:08 There was that tray, which I'm not even gonna discuss the tray again. And then on the floor, there was like a furry rug that was on top of another rug, that was on top of a carpet. There's like three layers of rug. That's a lot of Marshall's home. A lot. That's a lot. Yeah. That's a lot of Marshall's home. A lot.
Starting point is 00:10:27 That's a lot. Yeah, that's a lot of padding. Yeah. Well, Kelly comes over to help her pack and Kelly's very supportive. She's just like, KILL! Yeah, she is very supportive.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Maybe she was just reading a sign. Maybe there's a sign up that just said cute. Because I definitely saw a sign by the door that said gather. I saw a sign that said New York. I saw a sign that said welcome. And then there was a little hook that you hang like your keys on. And she hung up a sign that said wonder. What?
Starting point is 00:11:04 And then there was a little sign hidden there that said wish. I was like, And then there was like a little sign hidden there that said, wish. I was like, you're just putting words up now. Kelly's like, wonder wish, kitchen. She's like, thanks, Kelly. Thanks for coming over. Matt wasn't, Matt's gonna be in this room because I thought it might be better for him
Starting point is 00:11:19 to have a different room than me because we're gonna get a divorce and it's really crazy. It's making me sad. I'm just realizing I'm gonna be alone like I'm never gonna get another birthday called from Madagat. Shut up. I can't take any more of you. Okay. I like you. You're very cute. You seem like a very nice girl. If you talk about your fucking husband one more time. Yeah. I'm gonna gather by your front door and burn your reads Gather what was the thing?
Starting point is 00:11:45 And Jamaica she said was always like her and Matt would always she and Matt would always do this one thing So it's sort of our thing we'd go into a gift shop and pick out pencils What was the thing that she said was their thing? Oh? Was it a bikini? No that Yeah, I think it was yeah picking up bathing suits Whatever mine the bikies are all thing. Like I have so many bikinis. I would look for these bikinis.
Starting point is 00:12:08 And like I would pack the keemies. And now I'm so sad packing the bikini without me. Yeah. I feel like Gina is quietly the saddest person on Bravo. Like, you cannot buy all that decor and be a happy person. This is someone who is trying to find happiness by putting little artisanal arrows around her house, you know, and, you know, roosters and furry things. There's been a lot of speculation on the internet, like obviously
Starting point is 00:12:35 baths cheating with somebody. She doesn't even know where his apartment is in LA, okay. Yeah. So obviously something fishy is going on, but you know what? Sometimes things are simple and the answers are right in front of you. Three marshals rugs on top of each other. That's it. That's how you need to know. Yeah. Exactly. It's really like so simple. Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to blame the victim, but you know, who is the victim here? Yeah. And if you look at their bed, the bed, like their bedroom, honestly. Like, you know, I'm not saying, like, listen, that is a really, really girly bedroom, okay? And like, you know me, I'm always talking about like,
Starting point is 00:13:12 oh, but don't like, don't conform to traditional like gender, binary or whatever. This is the problem in society. Chris talks like masculinity. But honestly, that is a girly ass bedroom. And that is like, it's a bedroom for like a 22 year old girl, you know, with this like curly, cute white poster bed frame, like jazzy pillows, the furry pillows,
Starting point is 00:13:34 pinks and purples and whites. It's just like super, super girly. And like honestly, I just can't imagine someone like Matt, we know very little love except that he's from Long Island. I just can't imagine a bro from, who we know very little of except that he's from Long Island. I just can't imagine a bro from Long Island enjoying coming home to that bedroom. And on top of that, there are two rugs
Starting point is 00:13:51 on top of the carpet. Yeah, well, this has been a really fun episode talking about Gina's house. Bye everybody, thanks so much for coming. What the whole house. Seriously. Is a Marshall's take down the whole episode. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:04 So Kelly's like, damn, Gina, which take down the whole episode. Yeah. So Kelly's like, damn, Gino, which is hilarious coming from her. Yeah, because she finally sees a picture of Matt. Damn, Gino, why are you divorcing that? I'll take your leftovers. So then we go over to Vicki's house where Tamra shows up Steve answers the door and And and like Tamra's like not expecting Steve. She's like, oh, I was not Expecting a sudden burst of blandness. Okay. I will adjust
Starting point is 00:14:35 Vicky, mashed potatoes have opened your front doors So beige color palette has just opened the door. I didn't know you were here, Devs I would have brought some Starbucks for you, devs. So just some plain milk, something's there. It's like, well, I can't have coffee past 5 a.m. or a month past matlock repeats. They like savings is over, Tim. Come on in, have a seat. You need a bandaid
Starting point is 00:15:04 for anything. All right. Here's an aspir come on in, have a seat. You need a band-aid for anything. All right, here's an aspirin just in case. All right, I'm gonna go check out the latest episode of Diagnosis Murder. If anyone needs me, I'm watching Ion. I've got to be diagnosed better. He's such a good doctor. So hot, god.
Starting point is 00:15:19 So, so Tamara goes and finds Vicki in like a sitting room. She's just sitting over their head fully wrapped Like in a donut with like a strap across her forehead. She's just sitting there eyes her wide frozen How are you? I like how to drop a drop of bad batch news, but fuck it. Batch Gina match I got a call for shaman's and she said that G Gina has off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s off-s strap with that. I don't even know what that is. Steve would like that. Okay. What is that? Jamaica so much. Jamaica's dead. Okay. Look, here's all I said. I said, if you need medicine, take it. But I'm saying this now in public, tea people, shattered, but door is not better than ill. She just has illnesses that are mental, but she's not mentally
Starting point is 00:16:18 ill. So, um, yeah, this is, I'm, so again, Tamra clearly has a grudge. And it's just very important for me to remind everyone that Tamra spent all of Jamaica talking shit about Shannon. And Gina finally then tells Shannon, by the way, your friends were saying this stuff about you, Shannon calls Tamra and says, by the way, Gina has been saying that you're a terrible friend to me. And now Tamra's mad at Gina
Starting point is 00:16:44 and this whole ridiculous situation has happened all because of the way Tamra acted originally. I know it's so hard to follow because Gina should never have said anything. No, so Gina, this is your own damage. She's dumb. She's a dumb dumb. Then Shannon, wait, so then Tamra started it, right? Because Tamra was saying all this nasty stuff. But then Shannon really started it because Shannon Tamra was saying all this nasty stuff, but then she
Starting point is 00:17:05 hadn't really started it because she hadn't even been an asshole. So let's not, you know, I'd love to just put everything in Tamra's lap and this one is heavily in Tamra's lap, it's acting like a damn wacky dude, okay? She really is. I mean, she is acting like a wacky dude and she wasn't being a good friend to Tamra, but it was squashed and Tamra still continued to talk shit. So, you know, Tamra's fault. So I said I don't do fake, so just tell me the truth, Jinas, because I'm not fake, I don't
Starting point is 00:17:34 dare fake. I'm like, oh, you are the worst, you are the worst. And then my evaluation switched right back and I went, yeah, back to Tamra, origin stories. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I like Tamra saying that she doesn't do fake while she simultaneously compares her plastic surgery to bikinis. So Gina, meanwhile, Gina and Kelly are talking
Starting point is 00:17:55 about the big fight and everything. And Gina's like, I don't know why I got born at, or should I never say to anything about anyone being a bad friend. I was just saying I was saying, you know, like she was worried about, she might lose custody of her kids. I was saying these are the things they anyone being a bad friend. I was just saying, I was saying, you know, like she was worried about. She might lose custody of her kids. I was saying, these are the things that are being saying about you.
Starting point is 00:18:08 I was trying to be a good friend. I like how she just... I just know. She's like, she called me back up those stairs. It's like it does sound like a horror movie. I'm so low-sprable on. I'm so low-sprable on. Before you leave, what you mind coming back up here, up here, up here.
Starting point is 00:18:26 So I went up to stairs and I saw Shannon looking at the mirror at the window and I went up to her and I said, hey, Shannon, I'm here. I'm here to tell you about what people are saying about you and I walk up to her and I turn around. She was a skeleton. I was like, whoa, this surgery is crazy for you. It's like terrifying.
Starting point is 00:18:43 I was thinking you're scary music. Oh, okay. I was like Ramona laughing in the background. So I was viewing it to Ramona voice. Well, that is horror movie soundtrack. So there you go. Horror movie score. So I have custody of my children. I don't want their girl band to have to break up if I lose one. So tell me what they're saying, saying, saying. And Kelly is eating this popsicle with her huge mouth and it's hilarious It looks like she's putting a tiny I don't know like person in her mouth. Yeah, it's just wrap around this popsicle That popsicle come from anyway. We're moving into a casita. Did she does Gina just have popsicles in her casita? Because I bet she does yeah, you know she's like would you like a foxicle? They were in the check out line it Ross, you know
Starting point is 00:19:30 She's like, what is this taste like strawberry ass? I also have some artisanal popcorn Yeah, like five month old popcorn covered in corn syrup girl. I've eaten you okay, and I remember you Yeah, like every anytime that Marshalls wants to turn over their impulse up impulse purchase aisle they pretty much just send like a little flyer to Gina be like news new items in stock like okay here she comes she's like jetting in uh so this conversation was funny so they're in the car and she's like jetting in. So this conversation was funny. So they're in the car and she's like, I didn't even say anybody was a bad friend. And Kelly's like, so she was threatening you. She's like, no, no, not threatening.
Starting point is 00:20:11 Just making me feel bad. So she was manipulating you. Yeah. Well, you know, like I guess kind of manipulating. So she was murdering you. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. More of the manipulations.
Starting point is 00:20:25 She is no smarter. What did you say? Diagnosis murder. I figured it out. So and then I also liked how I think at this point, Gina was talking about the thing at the deck or maybe it was Tamara who knows but apparently, you know, because Shannon, Tamara did this thing where she was like, you know, I don't want to talk about, I don't want to talk about Shannon anymore.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I don't want to talk about Shannon anymore. No, I don't want to talk about Shannon, my best friend, which is funny because that's all she's been doing for the past several episodes. So Gina's like, fine, you don't want to talk about Shannon. Why don't we talk about my birthday party. I'm going to be turning 34 and every year I want, I want a sequence on my birthday party. I'm gonna be turning 34 and every year I want a weird sequence on my birthday and they just cut the camera staring at Gina saying this was just the angriest, beatiest evil eyes like I had to batch I can't like I talk about sequence when we should be talking about Shannon's.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Brother, every year on my birthday I have a litter of gerbils and eat them. Hey batch. Every year on my butt I have lots of hot sex with edda, okay? We have nothing but sex and sex and all sex and sex. Fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' all the times. I don't know, it sees a salad on the side of sex dressing. Oh, so back to Tamran, Tamran. Tamran and I just made her so classy. It's not a pretty name Tamran.
Starting point is 00:21:44 That was Tamran, that's nice. Yeah, so Tamran and Vicki are just made her so classy. It's not a pretty name Tamran. That was Tamran. That's nice. Yeah So Tamra and Vicki are back on the on the other couch and Vicki Tamra's like I said I said I said the star I said tell me a side of the story and she said she went up to Shamsa out of a plane of concern, that is bullshit. Vicky's like bullshit, yeah, it's bullshit. It's bullshit. Yeah, really, it's a bullshit. Stupid. So basically Vicky's gonna have a pajama party with Shannon and instead of going to Gina's birthday party
Starting point is 00:22:16 and Tamara's like, well, I wanna come to. So we can see where this is headed. There's gonna be an issue. So then also, Tamaraer brings up like, oh, by the way, did you know that I'm less having a cup of ratings? Yeah, she's gonna be looking into Eddie's junk. Get it, he's got a big cup, he's got a big dick,
Starting point is 00:22:35 and I know, because I've sex with him all the time, and I measure it with my vaginas. That's the back of the cup. I'm never gonna be like, oh my god, that's like the video. No, I've no desire to go to voodoo Jesus Christ Come come down come down with me to help me Jesus. Oh Jesus. Oh God. Oh, no. That's not Christian. That's satanic. Oh God Turkish coffee. I mean not after 1 p.m. Steeds rules no So Gina and Kelly are moving into the casino
Starting point is 00:23:04 Okay, he's like wow So Gina and Kelly are moving into the casino. Kelly's like, this is some gather. I've never been on your own before. No, it's what. It's that. And she starts all that bullshit again. Yeah, and I look ahead. She's got a sign that says she leaves a little sparkle wherever she goes.
Starting point is 00:23:30 Is that what we're calling roll dies now? I'm sparkling. I'm like, dude, I'll probably lamb right this sign. Like an Oprah book from back in the day. She's coming. Done. Whoa. Yeah, and I noticed also by the way, like now that she has her own casita, she has just basically like a zoo of pillows. It's just so many pillows on these couches And then one just says hello
Starting point is 00:23:52 Why do you have a pillow that says hello? Hi pillow. Hi, Gabba Makes me feel like someone's in the casita with me. Hello It's just like when Matt's home That's why I have a pill it says when Matt's home So she goes into her whole thing she's like it's gonna be so weird It's gonna be the first birthday. I have a head when Matt doesn't get me a cord Is it gonna be the first Christmas?
Starting point is 00:24:25 Where he does get me a card? And Kelly's like, maybe I'll get you a card. Kelly is like not equipped for these scenes. I know. She's just like a nice supportive friend. And she has to sit there. She has a good sport though. She sits there and listens to Gita every fucking time.
Starting point is 00:24:43 I know. And she seems to do it like happily. Like she's not getting annoyed the way Tamra is. And she's Kelly's been on Gina duty all season long. She had to stay with her in Jamaica. She's the one who had to like go with her to Shannon's place. Like she's had to go to the damn sequin birthday party later this episode.
Starting point is 00:25:01 So yeah, she actually smiles and has fun with them. It's not like the other three witches where, you know, everybody has to like really try and make an effort to like smiles and has fun with them. It's not like the other three witches where everybody has to really try and make an effort to like them and be friends with them. Yeah. So now we go over to Emily's house where Emily and her sister in law shareen are putting glasses and food on the table. So she's getting ready for her thing. Then we see Shannon's at the doctor getting a check up on her eyes. She's like, well, I can't quite move my eyes. I, uh, they seem to be locked into place. I seem to be focused on one thing and that's my happiness.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Huh, because I have a lot of it. So happy. Happy person. I'm full. I range movement. And he's like, well, just roll your eyes back a little. She's like, huh, well, I know some people I'd like to roll my eyes at. Doctor, not move. He's like, oh, well, I know some people I'd like to roll my eyes at, Dr. Not Moo.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Oh, that was good. That was good. Now, when I roll my eyes back, does that count as exercise? Because I'd like to see that I'm working out today. Then over with Kelly and Jolie, Kelly's like, are you practicing fear play? So, yes, mother, I practiced five hours today and yesterday and the day before and I'm like, whoa, that's a lot for the chorus of Oliver. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:14 That's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot of practice. I'm worried to see this play. So Kelly says, this might help it. Okay. It's like, uh, Mom, it's a PG show. You shouldn't show your boots everywhere. Mom, it's Oliver.
Starting point is 00:26:26 You should be dressed like a street surgeon, like the rest of us. Do I look like a hooker? Yes. Good. I didn't ride. We're just totally fine. Isn't Nancy a hooker in Oliver? I think she is.
Starting point is 00:26:36 I don't know. I don't know. I've never seen Oliver. Well, shame on you. I've never seen it. I saw it so long ago. I don't even remember if Nancy's a hooker or not. So there you go go everybody. Hey,
Starting point is 00:26:46 Shelly, are you gonna be a car or dog mother? It's Oliver or not Oliver and company I don't know if I can sit through another movie with you on a camel. That's Lawrence of Olivia. What is it? Lawrence of Arabia. Where'd I come off with that Lawrence of a Lovie? Lawrence of a. Lawrence of Olivier. Lawrence of Olivier. Okay, let's just stop this. Are you gonna be like, hang out with that sailor who likes to spinach? Mom, that's olive oil. I love olive oil. So good for you. It's so much better than butter, mom.
Starting point is 00:27:20 I'm writing a musical called Coconut Oil. Coconut oil. mom I'm writing a musical called coconut oil yeah it's about going paleo so then Emily is still getting ready and she's like we're running out of time to get this party together but these kids are so needy oh that's good you should have three more immediately. Yeah Exactly, and then note that she does nothing to tend to the kids So which is so mean because it's like the camera cut away, but I'm like basing all her parenting on the precut I'm like, well if the kids need stuff you should maybe do things for the kids Emily
Starting point is 00:28:01 So Tamara comes over and Bad mother alert! So, Tamra comes over and now we're like, it's now like, you know, sort of like Turkish cup reading, which I think we first saw on Real Housewives of New York when a Turkish cup reader was like, Karu, you were on a marathon and seats on many counters. So, Shireen is basically explaining, cup reading to Tamra, and I fully expected Tamra was gonna do that thing where when she drank the Turkish coffee,
Starting point is 00:28:31 she'd be like, Pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, pfff, she did do a very tamar thing. She is, it's a psych-expressor. Yeah, expressor. Now, the best part of all this was Tamra. Then she tells us, you know what? I don't know if I believe in psychics. I think it's just fun and gums. And then the producers show Tamra bringing around her, quote unquote, psychic in back in 2015.
Starting point is 00:29:04 And he's like, guys, I'm not not getting a psychic vibe about Brooks having cancer. I don't think he has it. Yeah, that's what I'm getting in terms of like, oh my God. That means he doesn't have it. Yeah, totally believe in gay psychics and a massage horse on Tidgin. Happen to be my best friends. But random psychics. Yeah, don't seconds. Yeah, that's a mean that was hilarious. That was basically
Starting point is 00:29:30 producers calling Tamer out to say, you know, basically, she wanted to call it biggie all this time, but she wanted to sort of make it seem like it came from a psychic. So, which of course, you all knew such a classic housewives move to just bring a psychic to say and what you want to say and Emily does it to you know Emily has the exact same thing happened where she's like here's the pertinent information Okay psychic Laney So Gina, but I just love that the editors every time Tamra says anything. They're like Tamra's the Liabatch and here's my and they just like national geographic footage of,
Starting point is 00:30:05 you know, tamar eating the head off of up, you know, baby possum or whatever. Okay, so the girls all start coming over and tamar's super cold. Yeah, like she won't speak to Gina. She's just like twirling her straw weave in her hair and giving her the possum on top of the trash can look like. swirling her straw weave in her hair and giving her the awesome on top of the trash can look like Yeah, I wrote down cold hair brushing Just like I'm so angry. I'm just going to stroke my hair and every stroke well You'll feel my claws going down your back a lannus style Yeah, it's very cheap weave. It's like it just
Starting point is 00:30:43 It sounds like when you scrunch up ziplocs, probably I'll imagine. It's like when you pet the tail on a my little pony. It's nice. Um, so Kelly arrives at the play and she's like, oh my god, look at Michael with the ladies. Yeah. Cause he's volunteered to make buttons for people like made to order buttons. Yeah. It's a great idea by the way. Can we do that?
Starting point is 00:31:09 We should probably do that for our shows. How do we get one of those machines? We could take pictures and make buttons for everyone. Yeah, made to order buttons. Creppets buttons. Creppets buttons. So yeah, so he's there and he's like, I like your hair Kelly, it's really good.
Starting point is 00:31:24 You know, your hair is beautiful You should really get your get out of your face You should really like like you should show your face your face is beautiful move your hair to the side She's like oh my god Some theater camp loser. Oh, sorry everyone here Theater camp loser. Oh, sorry everyone here. It's like an atmosphere opinion. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt
Starting point is 00:32:17 Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen
Starting point is 00:32:43 to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. That crap is commercial. And then we go over to the party and the mom Harry arrives and she's wearing vicarious, she's through parents, but you know, they're way better on her. Like, you know, we had a school Vicki, Perry. And then we have a very tense moment because Gina's like,
Starting point is 00:33:11 oh, I love how you dress matches your pocketbook. And she's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, did you call a pocketbook? He's like, grandma caught a pocketbook. Oh my god. That's like grandma says. Like grandma caught a pocketbook.. Oh my god. Grandma says. Like grandma got a pack of like grandma did that.
Starting point is 00:33:27 And she's like, I said pocketbook. I'm from New York. I called it a pocket book. It's a pocket book. It's a pocket book. It's a pocket book. It's a pocket book. It's a pocket book.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Yeah, there. It's a pocket book. What a fight about it's a pocket book. Pocket book. So what it is, pocket books. And then that's like the biggest shade ever. And then they just tear it each other. I kept an answer to that pocket like, I can't believe she's getting mad at me for pocketbook. It's like the equivalent of like frost, Nixon for Orange County.
Starting point is 00:33:52 Yeah. So, so, so, so Gina. Now Gina, so here's where Gina's really dumb. So she's sitting there. Now it's been like the fallout of this whole situation where she told Shannon, what Tamara was saying and then Shannon told, Tamara and now Tamara's mad at Gina.
Starting point is 00:34:14 So Gina sits there and goes, you know what? At this point, I'm just over Shannon. You know, I'm just over her, I'm over her. And Tamara's just sitting there and her ankle is like rotating in circles Like every rotation is just like it's like a crank pulling in the fuel that she's gonna go then deliver to Shannon It's also gotta make you wonder if that's the ankle, you know, it's like oh your ankle seems okay right now when it's angry True, too Okay, right now when it's angry. That's true too. Yeah, I'm so of a shenan,
Starting point is 00:34:45 because she called me up there, it's talking about her kids being taken away. And now she's making about whether or not I said you were a shitty friend. And look, yes, I think, Tamara, I never said you've never been a shitty friend of me. And I'll say that right now. And so that kind of gets Tamara,
Starting point is 00:34:59 where she kind of purses her lips with her mouth wide open. And Emily's like, okay, well, here's where I'm out with this whole thing because like, this girl I know is true blue and never lies. But Shannon, you know, takes tiny bits of info and spins it. So my money's on this horse, all right? That's what I vote for.
Starting point is 00:35:19 So I mean, I'm like you two are such idiots. I mean, Tamer is just gonna take this and put it in the worst context ever and deliver it to Shannon. And it's gonna be, and the fact is that Emily said that this right on the heels of her saying, well, I texted Shannon to see if she was feeling better and she wrote me back and I wasn't expecting it.
Starting point is 00:35:38 So I feel like that's like a step in the right direction. I just wanna start fresh with her. I'm like, well, good luck with that because Tamer's about to destroy all of that for you. And you did it to yourself. Yes. And then Tamer said, I'm confused. Why? Why did this happen? That's why. Why? Why? Why am I the victim again? Because you started it, Tamer. That's right. So over at the theater, Kelly puts her arm around Michael to watch Jolie and Jolie and her wig really is like so cute.
Starting point is 00:36:09 I know. I was so mad that Bravo did not get the rights to Oliver. Why can't you fork over $200 that way we could see some of this production. It's not fair. As long as he needs me. Hello. I don't know. I don't love Oliver, but I love that song as long as he needs me. Oh my God. I'll still sing it drunk when I'm crying sometimes. Just to sob on a piano and a smoky ball. It's less about wanting to hear the actual production of Oliver.
Starting point is 00:36:41 It's more about wanting to take in a, like, tween community theater production. You know, that's like one of my favorite things, just watch, watch that shit, because it just reminds me of my youth. Not me, I mean, don't you feel like a creep? I'm not here to be my, I'm at the children's production of Oliver. It's me, man. Anybody want to sit on my lap, take a picture? Oh, I think it's hilarious I'm not saying I want to actually go to those. I don't want to sit and go. I don't want to go
Starting point is 00:37:11 On TV if it's on TV. I don't want to hear public domain music played over it I want to definitely On like wait, this is Vicki trying know, trying to take off her face bandages for the first time, clown music. This isn't Oliver. I know, but Kelly is very impressed with Oliver. She's like, oh, it's pretty profess. It's good.
Starting point is 00:37:34 And then afterwards she brings, she gives flowers to Julie because she was sort of like playing several different roles. And one of them was like a little boy. And she's like, oh, Julie, if you ever want to transition you look good as a boy you do she's like mother she just walks right away from her so now we go back now it's time for Turkish cup reading and we have Mary Ann and she's gonna read Mary Ann was sort of what was pretty vague as as Bravo fortune tellers go. She was really on the vague side I mean given that they're all at a base level of vagueness
Starting point is 00:38:09 So she's like she starts reading Tamer's fortune and she's like let's see here. I See trashy son you have trashy son You have trashy son. Yes, but anybody can have a trashy son. Yeah, it's like many things happen in your life and you have the right to do something for yourself. My thanks, Marianne, great insight. Oh, because you decide to divorce. And Tim was like, I'm not going to divorce.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Well, I see you praying. There's two people here. It is dark. He has heart problems. She's like, um What the hell is he gonna die? Is he gonna die? I think I'm not saying die, but you are separate And you'll be all right. Yeah, she goes you'll be separate for two days But then you'll be all right good luck to you. I'm like, oh, yes, Tamara. I could like her on those two days So it's like what this woman freaks me out My love can come up with the addicts
Starting point is 00:39:12 So then his Emily's turn and Maryam is like you nice heart nice family love the cupcakes Okay, somebody's close to you give you many ting and say yeah, that's true Very close to you. You have to give her back many things I'm like I think she's suggesting that you just hand those friends and embryos over to your sister to your end I I thought it was more about like you have to return the Tupperware that your sister not brought over for this party Yeah, give Perry her C3 pants back that you stole from Vicki. Yeah, so Gina, Gina, I see a piece of paper in your future. You have to sign the paper. That's
Starting point is 00:39:54 all I see. Sign the paper. I mean, some people are really into that, but you know, check the paper. What if I were to check that's paper paper. And then, is, uh, I know we have a shareen here, but is there someone else who has an SH in their name, SH, SH, and they're all like, Shannon, and she's like, oh, yes, Shannon. Uh, Shannon needs lots of help. You should help her. Lots and lots of help. Soon she very sad.
Starting point is 00:40:23 I see cream cheese. I see cream cheese in my cup Why is there cream cheese in my cup? Lot and lots of pirouze of dog poop Archie Archie is his name Help her now She stuck she's stuck in a bike. Please go help her out of her bicycle Um, so yeah, this was pretty lame. This T-reading thing.
Starting point is 00:40:49 And so Tamra's like, um, Shuh, Shuh, it could be a shun. I'm gonna call bass on the, okay? Bass. Ah. Bass. So, Gina's like, okay, thanks for the boring party, Emily. So everybody else is coming to my birthday tomorrow is so shall right my glitter party
Starting point is 00:41:06 Brian and Tamra tells us um I haven't met up my month. I'll have if I'm going on So I'll let him know Um that's a lie she knows 100% that she's not gonna go so uh you can see in her squinty Possum black eyes like her eyes turned black like the devil is taking over somebody You know when she squints. Yes, and when she says she'll let her know. Yeah, she you know she's not gonna going and you know She's not gonna let her know also in general. I'll let you know is the universal code for I'm not going Maybe means right. Yeah, almost always so
Starting point is 00:41:43 So now it's like the next day and Gina and Tatiana getting ready for the big party at social and Coast and Mesa they can wear sequins because that's hilarious. It's it's a tradition every year of sequins on my birthday for no good reason Doesn't really make sense for anything, but we're gonna do it because it's cool Yon no, this is what I what I'm not gonna get birthday card. God, I hope she gets upset over birthday card. Oh, she dies and then she gets to college. I miss a game winning point for my son at his game. I mean, he's a waiting boy.
Starting point is 00:42:16 And so she faced the game. Nikki got the game ball. Oh, when I left that game to come here, it's just, it's a lot. It's a lot. Game balls, that's sort of a thing So over at Vicky's home office Michael comes in and he kisses your in the bump heads Such a cut. Oh such a cut. Oh such a cut. So
Starting point is 00:42:37 Michael's like so yeah, I don't know you're even going under and then Kelly starts sending me face times of staples in your ears Mom, so thanks for telling me, you know, And then we get a clip of Kelly facetiming from Vicky's room and going Michael Guess who this is it's a terrifying monster creepy mommy He's like mom's like exactly Yeah, and Exactly! Yeah, and Vicky was trying to keep the whole thing secret from Michael and from Brianna.
Starting point is 00:43:06 And of course, Michael told Brianna, so Brianna got all mad. I'm like, listen Brianna, like I get it. Like Vicky should not be having this many surgeries, but like don't project, you know, your husband probably yells at you for putting your feet up on that couch and don't take it out on Vicky, okay?
Starting point is 00:43:24 Don't take that out on Vicky, okay? Don't take that out on Vicky So that all that stuff nothing's gonna happen, okay? It's just a face week, but Lizard if I die those are box at me the box and he's like don't can't you just get a safety deposit box and she's like I said to deposit box what hold on this look here's files and then she opens up this box of files and it's Terrifying what Vicky is this really scary person Okay, she acts like she's all fun and light heart, you know You she was even cute when she was like pretend you know faking cancer pills and all that stuff. Yeah, but this She's got insurance on like everybody's that she's ever known in her life
Starting point is 00:43:59 Okay, she's taking out life insurance on everybody. Yeah, she's Tammy Nicarbocker's life insurance policy. Yeah. This is for Quinn Fry. Yeah, I get hers too. Gretchen Rossi, god, I'm surprised that was taking so long to be honest, right? Look, I have dots too. Okay, look, I still, Don and I made it to war, but I still have his insurance, okay? Out of the policy, I made it to previous, and I get the betty, right?
Starting point is 00:44:23 Okay, that probably should know about this All right cut that out cut that part out you to cut that part out, right? Yeah, you get cut it out, right? Yeah, okay I'm taking insurance policies out on you. I'm gonna take a girl I'm I know plenty of You know, I'm gonna take a look like you're about to die. You know, I don't have the healthiest of friends I'm gonna take out policies on everybody. I just take one out on you Ronnie I don't have the healthiest of friends. I'm gonna take out policies on everybody. I just take one out on you, Ronnie.
Starting point is 00:44:45 You know what, my sister actually suggested that we take out life insurance policies on each other. And I said, well, that is the most morbid shit I've ever heard. And she's like, yeah, but she is. What if Ben gets hit by a car? How are you gonna make a living? And I was like, well, thanks for your confidence, A. You know, I have to say that thought has crossed my mind.
Starting point is 00:45:01 Like, if something happens to one of us, like I rely on you This is this is my livelihood now if I I have rely on you Ronnie So let's take out 19 million dollar policy. How much is that gonna cost? We're gonna go to Kudu insurance everyone. Bye. Yeah, but you know that the second one of us does die Then it's gonna become a huge murder mystery like how they've been kill Ronnie because you know It's gonna be me who dies, you know. We'll have to call up diagnosis murder. I'm gonna call Cindy C on the case case. So anyway and more morbid news Emily is setting up a birthday table at social the hottest club
Starting point is 00:45:40 in all of Costa Mesa and so while she's's doing that, Vicki's at home, and she's wearing some chili pepper pajamas, and she goes up to Steve, and she's like, has to have a bunch of beers. I need some beers, is that okay? And she's like, of course, he's like, no, you can't have it, because the doctor said no, you can't have it. And Vicki goes, Steve is like the best-looking nurse I could ask for.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Like, hmm, I've seen a lot of movies Vicki goes, Steve is like the best-looking nurse I could ask for. Like, hmm, I've seen a lot of movies that seemed to indicate they're a way better looking nurses out there. Male nurses. Oh, but Vicki's, you know, Vicki's like the portion of the show where she's going to talk herself into any man that's in front of her. Yeah, sure. And she's like, yeah, that is a bad Steve because I haven't had any Zadak since the doctor. I don't like that stuff I like it's dry. I say tatek is drugs. He's like, all right You're not gonna have wine, but I'm gonna get you some more Zanek. I say okay, okay. Thank you. Thank you for the Zanek Yes, okay, you know Zanek's but backwards is that's a Tatek That's a Tatek, okay
Starting point is 00:46:41 So Vanne's a very me Vicki and Shannon I put those together Vicki's like oh Steve by the way I forgot to tell you shattered has it pooped at surgery only little drips So I'm gonna help her. It's like God sounds like a real fun night guys This is what happens when you don't drink coffee after 4 p.m Coffee keeps it going keeps it moving So we've got that to look forward to yes, so Kelly comes to the party and Emily's like I'm a party planner Look, I put things with glitter on the table. That's right Yeah, she's like I put flowers on the table whoa
Starting point is 00:47:18 Crazy, I got a cake that has glitter on it. That is why I am who I am the party planner And then Gina comes and she's like did you do all this for me? I got a cake that has glitter on it. That is why I am who I am, the party planner. And then Gina comes and she's like, did you do all this for me? She's like, I sure did. I didn't get you a birthday present, but I did everything here. Also, I did that cake.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Also, look at that. Look at that glitter thing right there. I did that. It's like, okay, Emily. I know. So, everyone's showing up at this already very sad birthday party. And it's like daytime and they're all in, they're like a pub and they're fully in sequence and the lights coming in.
Starting point is 00:47:55 And so they're all sitting there and it's like, where's Tamra? Where's Tamra? And sure enough, we go over to Vicky's house and Ding Dong, it's Tamra and she shows up looking like a Stelgeti. She's made herself look like an old lady because she's wacky, wacky Tamra. I was like, well, because Gina caught us jerry yacht tricks and Jamaica's. So I thought, okay, why not love up to the name. You do it every day. Like what is this that you're in?
Starting point is 00:48:22 So she gets to see that Tam tamers aspiring for something in mind. She puts on this. Yeah, she's in like a mom's family type. She has like stage makeup, which is hilarious to be old. And so tamers dancing around like, I'm in a whitey. And because I had a Zadix of white. So that's why that right now. Yeah. And tamer like gives her like a house code and Vicky puts it on over her little chilly pajamas or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:49 I'm sure a casserole because it's like oh my god finally someone brings me a casserole when I'm sick. I've always wanted a casserole. She's like I know that. Remember those GCs and times wrecking your over the coast for that like ruining your life. These are those memories fun now. Are they fun? I have to say Vicky's surgery actually looked pretty good. I thought, although she
Starting point is 00:49:08 her face looked totally frozen. I mean, obviously it is because it's healing, but she, it looked good, but you could see she could just like move like the very tips of her lips. She's like, it's good. I really can't talk right now. Steve open the sausage. Make me laugh. Make me laugh. Yeah, it's weird because it doesn't look that different. I don't think because we see the whole Susan in the in the talking heads. Yeah, so tighter a little still Like just I mean it looks fine. You know it looks fine. I like when Michael told her okay now your face is back to the old one So can we just stop doing this? And I'm like you just sent her down another spiral or same, you know, by saying yeah. Exactly. So, Tamara has brought some anima's for Shannon and stuff. She's just
Starting point is 00:49:49 being wacky. And then, um, Vicki, I think Vicki says something like, are you going to Gina? I don't know what it is, but Gina comes up and Tamara goes, Oh my God. I forgot to call Gina. I totally forgot. Not once when I was making a casserole for you to go to you Instead of her party. Not once that I think I should call her. Oh my God Never crossed my mind I'm thinking like what what is she did. Does she think you're going? And Gina's back at the party. She's like not that I'm not enjoying this glitter cake and this fried calamari But I'm gonna call her. I'm gonna call her so she calls her and time is like, I can't face time like this batch
Starting point is 00:50:32 I'm an old lady. She's gonna know my party right now. That I don't let it out of but a bit So and Gina's like can't believe she didn't answer. I hope everything's okay. I hope everything's okay And then back at bickies. There's another doorbell. And Steve goes to answer it. It's Shannon. And before we even see her, Shannon literally does what we always impersonate her doing, but she never really does. She goes, huh. She let her go. I thought we were supposed to be wearing pajamas like we- oh my god
Starting point is 00:51:08 oh that didn't I- oh tonight it's not the trace of me guys it's the trace of blo- oh haha haha look at this there's three of us now haha haha so later Vicki's like well Kelly dot copcom made so I guess they're all still talking.
Starting point is 00:51:29 She's like, oh, because it's how the shamans constipates and I have to help shout us. James, like, you are not blaming me on this one. She's already trying to get my children taken away. Yeah. So then meanwhile, over at Gina's party, Gina's sitting with Kelly, she's like, oh my god, maybe it's Emily, it doesn't matter. Yeah, she's Emily and she's like, oh my god. So Matt called me last night and he's like, trying to have phone sex with me. And I didn't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:51:58 So I just read things off of my pillows. I was like, hello, gather, wander. Home is where the heart is. He came when I read the lady does boaster. He was like, oh, I want to bone you. And I was like, je t'aime. I love you. I told them I'm taking one rug off the other rug right now.
Starting point is 00:52:23 And boom, sploosh. It came through right through the phone So roller shaman is putting getting rollers put on tamer's fitting rollers on her and Vicki's like oh Anybody needs that X I have extras now look to anybody on this show who's wondering why people are still friends with Vicki This is why she's a generous person. Yeah, how many friends you have that offer you one of their X Exactly and on top of that The old lady party did look more fun than the sequence party. I'm sorry I would have wanted to get the old lady party. They both look sad. I was sad. I was sad about these parties
Starting point is 00:52:55 Yeah, well either way Tamra and Shannon go into the bathroom to do the anima and I guess because in this case it was roller reversal Shannon was giving Tamra the anima. She's like, okay, well, here's what you do. You just take the thick David in the butt right here like that. And then you just like squeeze and you try not to think about all those dinner parties that only had two bars of wine because David did not think that maybe he should get five bottles for once. Ha, let it out.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Let it all poop out. Yeah, I was really glad we got another, you know, someone getting something stuck up their butt to poop storyline on OC. It's been too long, guys. It's been too... I know, and then Shannon comes out of the bathroom and Shannon does. Shannon has like that one type of lap that she does where she's like, Ha, I'm so happy! Where she like puts her chin over her shoulder and squins her eyes and just go, Hey! Ah! Glorious! Great times!
Starting point is 00:53:46 Friends! Ah! Look at her! Hi! It's a silent off! Look my shoulders! Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:53:56 Ah! Look at how mentally stable I am right now. No mental illness here, just excitement for my future with my girlfriend 40 to 50 Positive thoughts maybe some some in the negative count if you maybe like Tanner I don't know sometimes 20 it's mean, about 40, about 40 negative thoughts before. Generally, they're positive. And then, Tamer's like, oh my god, I'm on self-coming out,
Starting point is 00:54:29 BITCH! And Steve goes, I'm not cleaning that up. I just imagine all sorts of ghosts. It's like that scene in Ghostbusters when they open up the vault and all the ghosts come out. That's what happens when Tamer gets an endima.iver some that's in like a machine gun filled with like Kind barris or whatever Very specific kind of much so um so now back over the other one Emily it's all silly
Starting point is 00:55:00 Um, I know you've never been to like a stinson party. She's like simsins Whoa, oh I thought they're like the simsins like bar. You know bar. He's like a door like Kauwbonga, maybe whoa and I have been to a simsins party Cuz he knows he has yeah, and then um back over at the oh Emily's like My mother-in-law was really sweet, but I think my, I want my own mother to come to my party. And I think that the theme is going to be San Fatale party in Kelly's. Is that a hooker? Does that mean hooker? Kelly? Kelly is obsessed with dressing like a hooker for something that's a percent. She just, I just dress like a hooker and Emily goes, okay, yeah, just dress like a hooker. She goes that's easy I'm gonna bring the milk man
Starting point is 00:55:51 By the way the milk man and the milk man is totally the sort of guy that gets screwed over by FM Patel FYI. Oh, yeah totally I thought I was just driving this car to a different lot for her as a favor But it turns out her dad house when it in the trunk and now I'm a child Hey guys check out my new girlfriend Linda Fiorentino. I think things are gonna work out So over Vicki she's like, oh everybody let's gather about the checks mix and say a prayer to Jesus Jesus, thank you for my friend's face. My friend's faces
Starting point is 00:56:29 Friendly faces in general. Thank you Jesus Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. And that hot hot hot boy friend who's sitting over there in the armchair Dozing off while reading Doonsberry Thank you for my hot boy. Please make him as hard as Jesus. Thank you Jesus So Kelly calls up and just like where are you? Oh my god, I'm at Vickie's house. I thought we're gonna do sequence parties hairs, maybe Tell me my mind is how does I believe any of the small and yeah
Starting point is 00:57:10 So cuz like Timon forgot shit you're an oversight you're an oversan He's like was funny. Just like that's okay They'll be more birthdays, but no more birthday cards because Matt used to get me birthday cards And now we're like fucking birthday cards, and now I have like then I miss Nikki getting a game ball like, oh, can we go to cookies? It's not your fault you haven't visited me in a while and didn't understand together. Okay, so, okay, I'll give you a gatha. So there's funny when Gina, when Gina says, it's okay, they'll be more birthdays. Acosta Shannon and Vicki and Tamer, they're like, how could you imply that? It's like, it it pretty standard response?
Starting point is 00:57:47 Santa starts reading into every single thing to be offended. I mean, Jesus Christ, that won't make it to be offended over anything. So Kelly's like, okay, so later it's on like Donkey Kong. Over there at that party you're having, it's like, they're making fun of us in the background, saying we're playing bridge. That's where Rocky Kong throws barrels from well cuz Emily's like they're probably playing bridge and drinking martinis huh martinis bridge donkey Kong what are they trying to say listen are you trying
Starting point is 00:58:18 to say we're wild animals torn barrels no all right well I have fun but none your fuck cream and she's like Oh, and they're making whatever fuck cream look you literally spent today putting on Foot cream on each other like come on It's like you know I have to be this mad, okay? You guys are the ones being dicks in this situation You guys are sticking animals up your asses, okay? So The temperate September response because That's a roll. Yeah. Tim was like, well, you know, you get to us in an edge and sequence and nightclub just don't matter.
Starting point is 00:58:49 I'm a. They're like, oh, bruh. Meanwhile, she's still mad that Kelly didn't invite her to nightclubs with Sam. Yeah. So meanwhile, Vicki is sitting there going, I don't want that life. I don't want that life.
Starting point is 00:59:04 I don't want to go back to that life. Mike, well Mike well congratulations you haven't been in that life for like 45 years. I left that girl Liddy Boor. Just last week you were in a thong and the see-through outfit twerking all of your strangers. I'm not a girl not yet a woman. Oh, She got it's me. F*** it. Sometimes I cry. I don't give a f*** up. F*** it's a s**t. And I like it.
Starting point is 00:59:30 I like it. F*** it's a f***ing old b***h. I love it. She's finally that Molly Shannon character, but she's making it like the hateful version. I'm going to skip your birthday party, cause I'm faster, bitch! Yeah, so, so, so, so, now that once they're off the phone, Tamara's like, well, they made fun of my foot cream, so I'm gonna, here's what I'm gonna do.
Starting point is 00:59:57 She goes, you know what, I didn't say this, but I sound from this to say this now, okay? Because Emily, hey Shannon. Emily said, because I grew up with a mentally ill mom, I saw some loudness with Shannon. She's like, huh, huh, what, huh? Oh, she can just diagnose me like a murder? No.
Starting point is 01:00:17 Did someone call me? Someone mean me? No, Steve, it's a diagnosis of being mentally disabled, that murder. He's like, all right, I'm back to the TV. Call me if you need me. I'm not cleaning up that poop. Now, for those of you guys who haven't been paying attention and
Starting point is 01:00:31 there probably actually are a lot of you given the season. Earlier this season, Shannon said regarding Emily's marriage, you know, when I look at that marriage, I see a lot of similarities with David. And then Tamara or I think Tamara was the one who was like, Shadow is saying that Shadow's abusive or whatever and became a whole thing and Shadow's saying, no, I was just comparing it to my experience. So now it's exactly the inverse situation, exact the same people. And notice how Shadow's real.
Starting point is 01:01:03 That's a good point. Yeah, Shadow's like die Hick knows me. Oh, oh this coming from a person not what but twice written to kill Kelly Which I'm sure wasn't hyperbole at all and as an attorney she said no not to thank those people mentally Mental illness. Fuck her. Oh, geez. Look here. Yeah, so, and the thing is this, that when Kelly, when Emily said it last week, she said, no, I'm not a medical professional
Starting point is 01:01:32 and I'm not trying to diagnose anyone. I'm just saying, I see similarities, and it's like she was just saying it was triggering her. So like, Tamra is such a fucker. God bless her. I'm so glad that the side of Tamra's back. Yeah, Tamra really is. What a jackass. And then next week is the season finale. Like boom, out of nowhere, season finale. That's a finale. That's a bad. Thank God. I mean, this time, this show needs an app.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Okay. Yeah. It felt like, it felt like there were a few times the season where it was going to like, just like roar to life. I was like, okay, they've been regrouping and now it's going to come together. And it's sort of it's been fine. I've actually I think the season has been fine. I just don't think it's been spectacular. However, Shannon's meltdown episode was pretty epic and classic. But yeah, worst this. I mean, we love covering. I love covering the show. I always loved covering it. Even the worst episodes are still so much fun to make fun of.
Starting point is 01:02:31 But I mean, if I were a viewer, I don't know that I'd still be on the train. It's like, yeah, but shaman, yes, scrimmage twice. It's episode 17 by myself watching this batch. Well, we, you know, here's what we don't need. We don't need more cast members that have small kids that are going to deport. I don't know, it's just, we want, I need some petty ass women who are ready to fight
Starting point is 01:02:55 and want to fight all the time. And I think Gina and Emily were moving the right direction, but I think something's gone awry in Orange County. I think they messed with the cast chemistry and this is where we're at now because of it. Yeah. Well, we will find out what they bring next week for this thethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethethetheth each other's faces off for no reason. So we'll still be here for a while. But I just got my face. Everybody thanks so much for being here and listening. Go get your Christmas and
Starting point is 01:03:29 Hanukkah shirts over at crapandsomemerch.com and all that just for Ben will be doing his below deck live stream tonight over on the TV party app. I will be doing Real Housewives of New Jersey tomorrow night at 6 p.m. Pacific I think Dallas. Wait, wait, is it Dallas? Dallas, Dallas, Dallas, Dallas, sorry. Which is at 7. Whatever, just stay, it won't pay attention to social media. Yeah, pay attention to the answer.
Starting point is 01:03:57 Okay, everybody, love you, talk to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. at 1dry.com slash survey.

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