Watch What Crappens - GBBS: Do I Make You Horny?

Episode Date: November 25, 2020

We're near the end of The Great British Baking Show, and before any can advance to the finals, our bakers must clear the hurdle that is patisserie. It's no easy feat, especially for Laura who manages to spill chocolate on just about every surface on the tent. But at least she didn't turn her horn into a sugary phallus.If you want to see us record this episode, check out our Crappens on Demand video here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/44304313Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Who's the crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who's the crap is Who cares what happens Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the game

Rem podcast for all you board game fanatics out there and joining me is the wonderful Joyful man Ronnie Karam a baker unto him unto himself. How are you Ronnie? Hi, Ronnie petty to three carom house life treating me, huh? well I'll tell you one thing, I'm hungry. I'm hungry, because we're gonna be talking great British bake off today. It's the day before Thanksgiving, so there's gonna be some baking after this,

after we record this. And life is treating me well. How about for you? Good, I'm getting ready to make a bunch of cornbread, because I'm making a bunch of stuffing this year. So, I'm getting ready to make a bunch of cornbread because I'm in charge of stuffing this year. So, I'm addressing as some countries would like to call it. Yeah. I'm making that this year, so you gotta pre-make that cornbread

right out a little bit. For you to get some more, to see it a little bit. You know what it goes. I know, I don't know what I'm gonna do for my stuffing. I'm still a bit in search for the stuffing recipe that I want. Like I've listened up, tried Ina's recipe. search for the stuffing recipe that I want. Listen up, try it on as recipe. It hasn't been exactly what I wanted. It's rare that I talked

about my beloved hammer. Her stuffing is not, it hasn't taken me to where I needed to be. I just get to find the ideal stuffing. I don't remember what I did last year. I did some cornbread stuffing, which was fine, but we're gonna play around. I've got, that's my plan. After this episode, I'm going to research stuffing recipes. Oh, stuffing, eh? Well, stuffing's always delightful,

and then the next day I make stuffing muffins. Stepping muffins. Ooh, delicious. That's delicious. That's unsolicious. Yeah, there's awesome. Hardy. Yeah. I'm also doing a new recipe for Super Tatto Casterl.

And I'm using a recipe from allrecipes.com that has like 3000 reviews. I kind of feel like all recipes, this is like what all recipes is made for. Like if you want like something delicate and lovely, you don't get all recipes. But if you want a Super Tatto Casterl, get all recipes but if you want a sweet potato casserole You look for the one that has three thousand reviews and five stars. Yeah So that's a good mac and cheese good all recipes

And there's our my favorite comments to you because you have the people like this recipe I mean I didn't put sugar in mine. I did I They changed the whole recipe and then they yell at the person who wrote the recipe Yeah, you can make it right You used two of the seven ingredients. Yes, and as much as I, listen, I love me some Melissa Clarke. I love my New York Times, you know, cooking section authors. This isn't all recipes moment. So I will report back next week.

But for now, we're not here to talk about what we are cooking. We're here to talk about what some British people are cooking because it's great British pick off. And before we jump in, just a reminder, this episode is actually crap is out of demand. So you can actually watch us. You can see us like Ronnie's crossing his eyes. We don't have any Bueller sightings just yet.

Is Bueller hiding out in the back there? Or where's Bueller? No, we're fighting. Oh. You're in the other room. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, you can see here, look, you can see the shoe, this very important shoe that was given to us in New Orleans.

So go to crap, go to watch a crap and stuff. Go to, come to work, man, come to work. I can't, I drank coffee before this one, I'm sorry. Go to patreon.com slash watch where crap ends to sign up to watch this and you'll enjoy it. Okay, great British bake off. Here we go. Oh hello viewer. We have your excited as we are about Patissuee Week. Nole is wearing a long festively patterned shirt. It's like a silk button down shirt that goes like it gets close to his knees. He looks like a very hip grandma.

Like, I feel like he should have chunky glasses on too and be walking through CVS. Yes, and he's got like a new haircut today, which is even like before, like I like when it's like more of like an even mop, you know, where it's like, oh, I'm just a rock star, you know, I'm like, I'm a rock star, I don't care. Yes, it's cut evenly like a beetle's cut, but who gives a shit?

I'm a rock moon, I'm a rock star. But this one, it's kind of like, lady who's been waiting all week to get to the big lights sale, you know? It's like a little, it's a little too much on the curling iron, a little too much on the... There's these, there's these, these, these, banglets, there'sities, these banglets.

There's like elements of Joyce DeWitt. There's Tammy Nickerbacher in there, some Shelley DuVall, you know, like, there's a- It's a lot of the past. It's a lot of the past, okay. It's like your face is a yearbook. Your hair is a yearbook today. I feel like juice Newton should be playing.

I feel like I see that hair and I should be hearing Just tell me angel love the morning baby like you should be singing that on karaoke, you know, yeah Okay, so it's participatory week. Well the first first they have to make small cakes and Oh I have a song about participatory youery, you want to hear it? And this is, I think like being in the car with kids for a little bit too long. We were like, no, Matt, guess what?

I really don't. How about you sit and fuck down or you're not getting your chicken nuggets, OK? Yeah, yeah. Like let's just get on to these. Let's just get on with this because everyone online has been saying, there's a shocking elimination. And I was like, I was already sort of semi-spoiled by that

because enough people were like, it was a shocking elimination. I was already sort of semi-spoiled by that because enough people were like, it was a shocking elimination. I'm like, well, there's only one. I was like, I already could figure it out with, by the way, they set up this episode and how it was going to go because so many people were shocked. I was like, let me just get into the shock. I don't want to have your song met. Well, and they also don't really do tricky editing in this show, you know, like American reality shows. They're like, oh my god

I'm completely lost everything I'm going home and then someone else who goes home But in this show it's like Watch this person spill things and then start sobbing on the floor and then say I'm gonna go home and then they go home It's like maybe you guys are supposed to trick us a little bit. Yeah And then they go home. It's like, wait a minute, you guys are supposed to trick us a little bit. Yeah. So, uh, this is making tiny cakes. A horn made out of bread and our favorite emin goes home.

It's like, oh, dude. Why? Why would you say that in the first line? And then, of course, we had a shot of, of like their favorite thing is a shot of the sun as temperatures in the 10th soul once again are scorching show stoppers guaranteed to start a meltdown. I feel like they just include that every episode like as temperatures so again, there's going to be a meltdown. It's like we're literally like nothing is melting.

I mean, it thinks melted, but like they just love to talk about meltdowns. Yeah. Yeah. And it's always 80 degrees. I like that they really point out what wimps you guys are at. I know. As temperatures reach 65 degrees Fahrenheit, our chefs melt it down. So Peter starts and he's like, I look forward to this. Participation one one of the most exciting things.

It's not home baking anymore. It's real baking now. Like, oh god, here comes exciting Peter. Peter's one of those people who just wakes up in the morning. And he's just, what a die! I'm so exalted to be alive! Yeah, and he's like, Participation is one of the most exciting things.

It's not home baking anymore. It's perfection. It's precision. It's petitioning It's a brother why would he throw that at me? My brother says it's also the best day of all time because I get to make another gluten-free thing for him Yeah, he starts the day so positively that it's like he's bound to come home fucking miserable every day because the world Just can't live up to that, you know, yeah, you're expecting too much from the world's Peter. I'm telling you right now. So Laura though, she's not confident. She's like, I'm not confident. I'm just a home baker with pizza oven, okay? Like they told me, you know what? Last week, my thing melted. The week before that, my thing melted. When I was a child, I play with wooden blocks. The wooden blocks are melt. They're not even meltable, they're melt. I'm not confident.

And then Dave is like, I'm nervous, but I'm not really nervous about this. I'm just more nervous. I'm really nervous about her mean. We're all nervous about her mean. This is her week. It's the week that we're going to be. Nothing could pass us through.

It's the week that we're going with her mean. Yeah, her mean will never go home. She'll never, I will never get inside her head by walking up to her and saying, her mean, this is your week. You can't fail at all. Her mean. And she's like, I need to get to the final. So the pressure is on. So then no all comes in. He's like, Oh, kids, congrats on making it this far. And they're like, all right, well, one of you is going to be in the, three of you are going to be in the final. And one of you is going to have to spend the rest of your life as

Pruse Butler. And then they do like a little Butler sketch. Yeah. Oh, and Ryan and I were texting about this last night. And I want, I do want to, I want to share this with the audience. I guess I had completely forgotten that we discussed whether or not Paul stands on a box, you know. But I did keep it.

I forgot that we talked about that and so I really was like, you know, became very, I was believing that he was on a box, but I look extra carefully at him. And when he walks away, he doesn't step down. So now I think that there's visual evidence that he's not on a box. Maybe it's just sometimes, you know? Maybe it's a sometimes box when they can just make him look majestic or whatever. He has heels.

I think that he has lifts in his shoes, so that way he's the same height as proof. Maybe, Bert Reynolds heels, love him. Yeah. So they have to make paddles of the little one, which is a used to dough. They have to make a surveyor. Yourself? Well, one of the ingredients is patto, patto, patto, patto, seven. Yeah. Yeah. They have to make paddlesto sever and then it has to be any shape of flavor But it must be soaked in a syrup of your choosing and judges want high-end and exquisite finish Now I don't love a syrup soaked anything really really

Cake or waffle or something you, something like that, but like a not really, but like Baclava when it's like really honey heavy, you know, it's just the choosing. But I don't like it. I was like trying to get to I was trying to like catch up the core of your cultural cultural experience. I was like, what about Baclava? No, what about your family?

I guess what also don't like lady who sent me a recipe for Lebanese green beans? You think I'm gonna eat that shit? Cause it says Lebanese on it. I mean, thank you. I'm sure that was coming from a kind place when I was like, I'm not eating this shit. Okay. Green beans. How dare you?

Lebanese green beans. Um, wow. So I did not know you were not really into a syrup soaked thing. I actually really enjoy a syrup soaked thing. I haven't had a lot of experience with them to be honest. I just feel like they're try hard. They're like cheating. It's like they're like, I don't, I can just like, just bake me however you want to bake

me and I'll take the flavor on the end. Like I'm like a super dry cake secretly, but I'm gonna cheat by just soaking myself in this area. Yeah, like you're just giving someone a shot of something basically so that they'll like your food more. So I don't know, I think it's cheating. But here we are, everyone's doing their hacky, a soaked thing, I guess.

So we're going with today. Yes, and so Prue was like, but just serious, one of the hardest challenges it's neat, it's quizz-it, it's elegant, it's the exact opposite of anything Laura's ever done in her entire life. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- BAKERS COULD INN UP IN THE FANALY WEEK. We'll accept for Laura. We kidding. It's not gonna be.

It could be. It's not gonna be Laura. She would have to beat out someone like her mean as we all know this is her mean. WEEK. So Paul is like some people may not know what a savorin is, but think of Rumbaba. Okay. Have you thought about it? It's in your head, Rumbaba. Everyone knows what Rumbaba is, right?

That is a savorant. I love Rumbaba, we know, bro. Jesus Christ, someone get those women a bottle that just carry around from station to station. It's all about the proving, the softness of the sponge. It's like, yeah, of course, that's what is every week. Every week, what? It's like, this way, prove, that's what it's every week. Every week, what? It's like, this way, prove it however you want.

Overprove it, underprove it, it'll be fine. This week, we want rock, hard, tasteless crap. And the contestants. And so proof is like, cooking in a heat wave, proving time would be a bit shorter. They'll need to watch that. You know. Yeah. And then Paul is like, well be

interesting to see who steps up to the plate and who steps onto the box as it were and who makes something that could be served and that could be anywhere in the world. Maybe even I don't know Japan. I've been there. So then the judges go over to her mean to check on her and she's like I'm gonna I'm gonna glaze it with apricot jam to give it to shine and she was like this could be your day Hermine this is your days is such a classic and you just such a classic maker of classic putty three days of Hermine I'm here by now. This is him mean day.

Now, here's all you have to do. Just concentrate on today. Relax and do your best. Surely you could do all three of those things. Relax. Relax. And anytime things go wrong, just think of me saying, relax, relax. So you've won Star Baker twice. You feeling confident, Lady who's probably going to win this show. Did I say that out loud? I think I just did. And she's like, well, I don't want to get a big head. And nor was like, hmm, you got a handshake too. Didn't you? Now say apricot again. I was like apricot How she say it's like apricot apricot apricot now before we step away

We just want you to know her mean that we received a letter of congratulations from one president macron to you But you're not allowed to win it read it until you win next week So think try not to think about that. Oh, it's also made out of chocolate. All right. So think about it. So then they go over to Laura's table and it's a it's a battle of the bags. Battle the babas. It's a battle of the babas. Okay, guys, confession time. I was this weekend. I was like, I want to do these notes early because also I wanted to see what was happening and didn't want to be spoiled. So I took these notes on Saturday.

We're recording this on a Tuesday. Guys, it's not really going to work out. I have no idea what I'm talking about. Competition in Battle of the Bags is what I wrote. Oh, the Baba. Baba's because Laura's making a Baba also a Baba O'Romers whatever and so Laura's like I mean you learnt up you learnt all you know from me too. It didn't you her mean hmm? So she's making on her head

Drop the cake on me on it which is crazy because the cake was down here my head's up here right mate So Laura's doing something really original, okay? She's using passion fruit. I know we haven't seen it this season at all, but she's gonna finally do it. But she's in the town, girl. She's putting pineapple, kiwi, and passion fruit. That's a lot of shit in there.

Also, we should be nicer to Laura. I really like Laura. We're being there, but I actually really like her. And I was watching this with my sister and my nieces and I Hey, that girl suck. She's always on the bottom. I was like how dare you be mean to Laura I'm like Laura is so look at Laura look at how she has a pizza oven and then Laura dropped something on the ground She's so clumsy, but everything she makes looks so delicious and even though she has like bad presentation Like her bad presentation makes things look better like I swear to God

So um even though she has like bad presentation, like her bad presentation makes things look better. Like I swear to God. So Laura's plan is that she's gonna add fresh yeast into her dough instead of like a non-fresh yeast. Because it'll make a nicer rise. And Paul just goes, really? And she's like, why do you think fresh yeast is better? And she's like, better rise and he's like, better rise or not.

And she's like, just say he's like Better rise or not and pretty like just say yes, so we can move on He's a small man with a small penis just say yes, so we can move on with our lives Yeah, I know it's like that was horrible like you were being interrogated wasn't it? I felt terrible for you. Don't let him get in your head. You're losing You're losing. Pemino's winning and you're losing. So all the flavor in a savoran comes from the syrup. And now we go to Dave. And Dave is taking his savoran all the way to Mexico. Of course.

Of course. He's like, on making honey to Kila mango passion fruit. He's doing the most cliche thing of the season. Mango passion fruit in Mexico. And chocolate too. And he's like, and chocolate. And he's like, yeah, there's some tough competition and proves like, well, I'm telling you, Dave, you look so much more confident than

you did all those, to you remember that pathetic little taco challenge? What was that waiting for target attackers? Oh, that was adorable. More like waiting for your new shorts to arrive because that booty Dave, wow, that's really growing. Is it not? Can I have some more rump please?

More like waiting for tackies. And there you were, Dave. And Dave's just like, I'm very confident now. Like, you look like you just stole a truckload of hamburgers. He looks terrified. So her mean is adding booze to her syrup. She's going to do it last. I don't know why I wrote that down. And then we go to Peter. He's like, today, I'm purposely not over-complicating it today. Brother said, no complications, no complications that they need to ignore the bot my head.

So today I'm keeping it simple for him. I just want something that comes out looking really clean and looking really professional, and ideally in the shape of a cartoon shuttlecock. He's like, I'm not keen on alcohol. I'm like, what a shocker. Okay. So now no one else gets it in their dessert. Okay. You little goody two shoes. He's like, I don't drink much myself. Yes. We figured we figured Peter. Um, then, uh, Matt's like, he may be a square,

but he's making, but he's making, he's also making strawberry elderflower bbabs! And Paul's like, Well, I would like to see... I would like to see this little Peter. Alright, get some heat in this tent. Just don't make mistakes. Yeah, he goes, I want to see the old Peter.

Oh. Listen, Home in can't be the only one who we fuck with today. Where's the old Peter? Bring him out. Bring him out. This one gets in your head at all. Not at all. Not at all. Well, it's much better than my mount. I would like to see little Peter. I was disturbed as I am. These are basically perverted notes.

Commissions. Here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So Laura's dough is like, has proved and now it's time to punch it down so she's pretending to us pause and she punches it Like in the face and now the

Savarans are taking shape and they're being piped into butt cake molds and They could be rude they could be ready very soon because the heat so the bakers cannot over prove Yes, and Matt still fucking ran. He's like, You have 97 trillion seconds left. And Laura's like, how much fucking time do we have, you little fucker, I'm gonna fucking kill you, or I'm gonna run you over with my car, if you'd stop fucking around, I'm fucking, I've dropped a cake, literally.

I just need to know how much time I have to melt some chocolate and then spread it all over my workstation, so please. Okay, so where are we now? Now they're just baking so much. I'm just writing random words. Billings topping, flavors, mango passion fruit, custard, fruities.

That is what's happening. So her means making a crème pat and she's worried it's gonna be simple, but it'll be classic. And then Matt is asking her if she's ever watched Babar and she's like, yeah, watch Babar. And then he's like, what about, do you have a pinko? And she's like, no, he's like, oh, pinko.

And then he starts like a person, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she's just like, please die. Please go over there and die. Thank you. And Davis using like a little butt cake tanner something and his is proved. And then Noel goes over to

her mean and he's like, so mean. What about Laura? You should kick her, you know, and he's just hold her down. Just put her head in the refrigerator and slam the door on it a few times. You got to do what you got to do in this business. All right. Poor Laura. She, they like cut to her at one point. She just has a fan and she's just holding it up to her face. Like not even not like she's holding up her face. She actually cradles it on her shoulder. Like it's like a like a airplane pillow and she has it on her face. Oh god, please, please, please cool me down. And that's the moment where everybody's just on the ground staring into their ovens. And then it's time to take them out and Peter is just like,

into their ovens and then it's time to take them out and Peter is just like oh I'm taking it after the ovens look oh my god I want them to be slightly over and a little bit dry I thought where they'll soak up a little bit more better be a little over than a little bit and that's what I told my brother who we're told it's like Peter just take them out the oven I just have a feeling that Peter is really like the smoking baby in Roger Rabbit. And like he acts like this. He's like, Oh, I'm so happy.

I don't drink. And then the second he gets into his dressing room, he's like, get me a fucking Scotch god damn it. If I had a nickel for every time someone fucked up my drink order in this dump. He just harasses the other contestants. Let me tell you something. He mean your trash.

You fucking trash, okay? How about you make a shot of cock and we'll call it doozy and try to make that way. Oh, it fucking trash. All of you. Yeah, he goes home and his brother's spirit takes him over. There never was a brother. The brother's just him off screen. That's cracked. Whatever. So her means comes out too puffy. And she's like, Oh, it's just semifinal. I can't do that. So she goes back and she starts making a whole other one. And there's only one there left. Because the thing is it looked like I don't think that she accommodated for the hot temperatures. Because they kept on saying, you don't have to prove it as long and then everyone was they had at one point a little bit earlier they were like I'm going to do it for only 15 minutes instead of 20 everyone was like saying stuff like that

and Hermione's like I'm just going to do it the way I've done it yeah I don't know what that voice was but that was my Hermione for the moment Hermione turned 110 years old and then said I don't know so I thought they looked okay at first, but like honestly what the fuck do I know the answer is nothing. But I thought they looked okay and they ended up turning out looking just like the next one. She's wonderful because she was trying to she was trying to make them more even because they came out wonky but they ended up coming out wonky oh spoiler alert. Wow wow Ronnie I can't believe you spoiled from five minutes from now. So Peter that Pete's talk about it again.

Shocking. So Peter is like, he's like the whole point is to saturate it. You want new try spots whatsoever. That's why I sing my favorite song. Saturate, saturate, Never leave a draw, sport! FATURATE! FATURATE! Mommy won't love you! Oh, so Noel is doing his old lady 30 minutes left. And Kurt is setting. And Laura is feeling and Peter is jotting. And her meme gets decorations ready while her second batch coogs. And they're still popping up so she's just trying to pick the best of the best to just get done with it you know. And Dave's Dave kind of cheats I think because he sets his on top of Kurds

because I'm not really even either and I think that that's cheating. Cheating but also like kind of smart Hermine Schutz out of that too, to be honest. If Dave could think of it, Hermine could think of it. But yeah, it was a little bit of a cheat, okay? So although Dave's actually looks really very pretty, cause there were these like really pretty glass bowls that were sort of like asymmetric. And like I think I would normally hate those bowls

in any other situation, but in the situation they looked great. So I was like, okay. So then Laura is like, I'm just on particip look great. So I was like, okay. So then Laura is like, I'm just on participatory mate. I can't believe I've done that. I'm just on just knocked on my participatory on the floor. Oh, well, I guess I said I did participatory. I didn't serve participatory. So judging, we start the judging Krama Ebrokel. So they got our mean first and for you's like, they look really interesting and elegant and quite like a gold medal that's about to go around your neck the second we're done

swallowing this at me. Surely I mean nothing could be wrong with this and look at that one reply work. But then they start noticing an irregularity with the color and they like the flavor and they like the shantilly and crème pat but the sovereign is underproved the air to air holes too tight feels bread like bread like yeah when she said bread like like such a dish so I was like do I even know you who says bread like like it's like such an evil thing bread is like the best vegetable god ever made don't worryione, even though you sort of had

well a complete failure in this challenge of two more, and of course, you will be one different spectacular on them, and it's not to say that by you being tabling, this challenge is more pressure on you for the next two, we're just saying our expectations are perhaps a bit higher now. Good luck. So they go over to Laura, who's made post pineapple kiwi with those little shot things on top and

Pretty's like well it first glance they're pretty She's looking at Laura like you idiot Surely you're going home even though at first glance Scrubses those are scrubs twisted him in make these Oh, I know what happened. Where is the lady with the fortune cookie that caused them to switch parties? Where did that, where did she go? Let's fix this. Lizzy Friday. John Hanks. I'm enjoying your scrumptuous little kiwi thing, but do not make love to that Elizabeth woman. It's creepy in 2020 darling. So, um, yeah, but it was just so kind of messy, but she has a lovely light sponge and then Paul's like, hmm, overdid it with the spices.

It's the little thing. It's like, it's like, Laura, you're like a rough diamond. Just need to be polished up a bit, you know, polished, I don't know, somehow I tried to polish you up and I just spilled chocolate everywhere. There's something about you, I don't know. Yeah, turn that, you were rough diamond, I just kept polishing and suddenly I realized you were a doorknob actually. So and suddenly I realized you were a doorknob, actually. So... I thought you were a diamond. Turns out you're actually just a tinfoil ball that had been watered up.

That's fine. So she's like, but very good rum-baba. No one would send it back. Unless they found out that Hermine was there too. In which case they'd say, please send this back and send us something from Hermine and Steyn. Which is inar is in arguably going to be better and probably win this whole competition ride. Hermine are you listening? But they actually love her and Paul's like, I would definitely

send it back just so I could meet the chef. Ah, Zing, a happy thing from Paul's surprise. So then Dave's honey and tequila make up passion savoring. So Paul goes over and he's like, boom, strong color. One is ripped and I don't mean it in the American gay way. I'm actually torn. They look sensational and fun and totally predictable from you Dave. So they eat it and they're like, oh the texture's so light. It's impossible to get it onto the fork, it's so light. Wow, I wonder how long I'll have to wait for it to get on here, we'll have to wait as long as I waited for. Takas Dave there. Will I have to wait longer than until Tuesday, Tako, Tuesday, Dave? So Paul's like, well I know it's a design thing to put the curd at the bottom

But I would have put it on top and I can't believe Paul let him get away with that It is not a design thing. It's a cheating thing Yeah, to Peter. I guess what Peter's doing is like Coming brother, they're coming to George's like. He's so exciting. They're coming, brother. They're coming to judge the babas. So they of course all look very neat and uniform and pretty good. That looks very light. Look at that.

Look at how light and soft and pale that is. And of course we also have the cakes. Oh okay, stop looking at the pizza. Let's look at the cakes now. Wow, this looks just like Peru on a Saturday night in front of a Netflix. But that I mean soaked. Absolutely soaked. I didn't think I was going to like a savourine without any booze in it.

I mean, because what sort of ridiculous person would do something like that? But it's absolutely delicious. It's mouthwatering. But just a little bit sad, you know, cause no booze. And Paul's like very nice texture. Handshake, you get a pole, Hollywood handshake. You know what, wash your hands. I feel like Paul Hollywood like holds that handshake back. Like it's some big huge fucking prize,

but the most of your hand after him, you're like, this smells like balls Yeah Yeah, and he goes welcome welcome back to the tent and pregoes welcome back to the Peter standard almost as good as the Hermes standard you're doing great Hermes and see when the finals won't get into your head So Peter's jumping up and down and giggling and Hermes like quite painful. You win some, you lose some. I was like, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, sort of can we already are starting to feel it like oh this is not good and Dave's like well I'm doing so well I'm I'm kind of overwhelmed by how I'm doing I

almost feel like I'm Patrick Swayze and Port Break just rod in that way that six-sick way but I'm just like wow I can't believe I read that way God isn't Port Break a great maybe the pressure is about to rise because it's very hot as they face their most difficult technical challenge heart challenge in the heat of the day that's heart that they've ever faced yet. And this technical challenge was set by Paul and he's like, it's quite methodical, it's about precision. Yeah, I suppose the other technicals which are not about precision at all.

So then he walks, they leave and Matt a whole bit, we pretend to cry, and then chefs or contestants or bakers, you'll be making a Danish cornucopia and know this is not related to sandy or former co-hosts. A ceremonial cake, also known as a home of plenty. The dough has to be firm on the outside, but she will be on the inside. So no one, of course, is made, because no one has ever made these things. And then we go to Paul and Bruce sitting with this, it is literally a horn made of, it looks like onion rings but they're dough. Yeah. And it's, oh, it looks annoyed. She's like, Paul Danish Korkopia. What's he so about? Paul. It reminds me of Hunger Games because they have the horn of Plenty.

Did you ever read those or see those? I read the first one and I watched the first one. They would be starving and fighting and all this and then they would leave the Horn of Plenty in the middle of the jungle and they all had to fight to go get it or whatever. So it's just disturbing. It's like children killing children. Children, is that really funny? Yeah.

Children are dying. So he's like, well, there's all from her dying, Paul. So he's like, well, there's no flowers, all-ground almonds. It's basically shape it in droughts. You have to taper the ends perfectly. It's like a cigar shape with a slope. And Prude's just like, ew, so many textures. Good challenge, Paul. You're like, Brue. Good one Paul. Brue, do you want to try some of my horn? She's like, whoa, okay, I suppose. And she's like, oh, this is lovely and chewy and very amity. I mean, it tastes like shit, but I'll just humor you for

a moment. Otherwise, you'll talk to me about Japan again. So then we see the instructions that they get and they're terrifying. Okay, nobody knows what the thing is. I don't get to see one, you know, because it's a technical challenge and it looks scary because even when it's done perfectly, like the one they have, it just looks like a cookie that's been smushed down in one part. And so you have to know like the math of how much to smash down those cookies to get them all to go together. It's yeah, it looks challenging. It's like the IKEA bed of pastries. Yeah, everyone's kind of lost except for Dave who's like, well, I think it's like an Emirate biscuit. It's not quite baked enough.

That's what I think. And of course, we all know the home for Emirates biscuits is Mexico my favorite country in the total I word. And then Noel comes to creep out Peter some more. And he comes and hugs him from behind. He's like, you're still excited from that handshake, aren't you? It was like this. Did you get on his shoulders? Did you kiss him? Did you get his number?

You missed the window then, if you didn't get it. I mean, listen, you've only got a moment to get his email address and all of his clothes off Peter. Peter's like, I don't get it, I haven't reached that part in my human development. I know, Peter is looking like visibly uncomfortable at this point, am I? Peter's like, my face is turned white and my neck is turned red and now my red is turned white. I don't know what's happening to me, I look like a candy cane now. I'm so much modification. So now they're shaping all the rings. They're all totally confused by this entire process. And Laura is like, this is literally my worst nightmare. Okay, I don't have a logical brand. I've got a pizza oven brand.

Okay, I can't do this. I can't. Peter's like, Oh, I think I know what I'm doing think it won in it's like okay Peter And so Laura starts crying and Matt comes to check on her. I'm like I don't have logic. It's the worst nightmare I mean don't be able to present anything Just why I'm making an ice cream pizza Got this you've got this listen this something. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. All right. Well, there was no, but otherwise just obviously something in your, you wouldn't lend that kind of blue it as well. I forgot what we were talking about. Good luck on your way to home cake. Yeah.

I don't have a logical brain. It's like a weird, like, forgotten character from the Wizard of Oz. If I only had a logical brain. So Peter is like character from the Wizard of Oz if I only had a logical brain so Peter is a very specific wizard of ours. I wish I had a big heart I wish if I only could do calculus I wish I had the courage to take the top dance class It's like man these creatures and Oz are now like, they, their deficits are getting a little privileged.

If I only had a massage. I wrote Peter does really well and then in all caps, OBV. Mom, man, why am I a Peter? Peter just like literally done nothing bad at all. He's like the sweetest person. Why am I a Peter Peter is like literally done nothing bad at all? So Peter is making he's like I think I figured it out. I think I figured it out So he um, he makes these like rings and he's like I feel pretty good about that one So he's all happy about himself and Laura's like I just want a big glass of gin. That's what I want. Gin, you know what that is Peter? It's alcohol.

And his brothers behind him like, don't you even think about it, brother? So of course, the ghost of his brother, which is really himself, we've discovered. That's the big twist going into the final episode. So Laura forgot to put the other non, which is classic Laura. I mean, I'm surprised you just didn't spill chocolate all over it too in the process Yeah, and

No goes over to her meme and she's like I'm freestyling and he's like, are you okay? And she's like she's just sitting with a fan blowing on her face and he's like all right. I've got it You're going to get onto my shoulders and you'll wear a trench coat and then you'll walk over to the judges and then boom out the trench coat props opening a horn of plenty props out you ready she's like oh my god I thought you'd appreciate that joke since you're the clear fun run on this week anyway. Pardon me. Save that for the winner. So it's not they're making chocolate decorations and thing like that. And we got a big old close up of Dave's ass. His ass has really bloomed up over this show.

And then Peter, he's like, Peter, like they're getting the final touches and everything. And Peter's like, well, there's no point not being happy at this point. So let's just say happy okay. I know it's like Growing dough in his face I know it's like are they supposed to be cracked So Lawrence like really it the crack fucking god damn it's another have to start icing them and They're doing Carmel now here is another thing that just confused the hell out of me and

This already happened with Carmel once that was what the carmel making on this show that's not how you make carmel day and it puts the sugar in the pot and then he's just like manically starting to sugar you don't well that's not having to be to all recipes you let it melt in the oh yes on its own and he keeps stirring it every time he does it He's like it's getting crystallized. I don't understand why it's getting crystal

I Don't understand why the sugar is getting crystallized like Dave use salt You're just you're just moving salt around I don't understand Yeah, so they're making yeah, so doing that and they're making royal icing for the biscuits and they're supposed to like do zigzag patterns on the cold drinks and her means just like And I think that's what she says all the time which is like Oh, what a day Oh, what a day What a day

What a day What a day What a day What a day I wish I really found on that I wish I really like glombed onto that like eight weeks ago before she eliminated What a day a lot of A lot of a day

So her means actually comes out pretty good except for her icing her icing work on it But it looked okay. I mean like to figure out that you had to make a horn and for everybody to be able to do it I was pretty proud of them. I was surprised that Peter sucked so much. His was more like a traffic cone. His was like one of those toys for babies, you know, like a stack of rings you put in your mouth. But then one of his rings got caught in the car, man. So that's what can you expect? And then, yeah, so they're all making, they're all, everyone's just coming out. Dave's Caramel wound up looking like applesauce, which I thought was funny. And now especially since you, so, so, particularly,

describe what was wrong with his caramel making it make sense. But the best part is that Dave's... Well, probably long, that's the best thing. I mean, they're the ones who know how to bake. I don't know how to bake that. No, every single, they're multiple caramel recipes, but they all say... Don't stir the butter. You're not supposed to stir... I have to make it for a flan. So that's how I know.

Yeah. Well, Dave, the best part is that Dave actually got like a really good curve with his, but then he took his horn. And he just like put it like the horn part down, like the wide part down. So it just looked like this big, phallic elf hat. It's like Dave. Bye. It looks like a big old dick, okay hat. It's like Dave, five.

It looked like a big old dick, okay? That's what it looked like. And with a big old dick. It's time for blind tasting and the judges just started cracking out the minute they got to his. They started laughing. Just like a big penis. And when you put it on the table,

you're like, I guess I should have looked around. Or just like thought about how you'd want to present a horn to anyone like yeah I'm Paul's like it shouldn't be sitting like that all right the graduation of the rings are there at least So you've got that and I'm pretty like you'll break your teeth on that lovely flavor though Yeah, and then we got a Peter which has good icing but has no horn shape But summer of the baked and the kids we can't bake them all at the same time Peter. You can't do that I know I should have told brother said not to break them at the same time And I didn't listen I didn't listen to brother and then Laura's autobiography is named and Paul does to her

She's like a bit of a mess stupid Ising is terrible this rings all over and she's like a bit of a mess stupid. He's like a bit of a mess stupid. I think it's terrible. There's rings all over. And she's like, oh, it does look as though the bacon didn't understand this at all. Oh. It looked like a decapitated fish. Oh dear. Oh wow.

Well, hmm, quote unquote blind taste test. Let's see. Well, this is the one that's messy. And did an, am I incorrect here Paul? Is there an actual anvil that has fallen on to this one? There's an actual anvil here. How did that happen? This one is actually bleeding Wait a second. Is there a there a TNT? Is there some stick of dynamite in this one? Was this made by Wally K one has just run off a cliff chasing a coyote and it's dead now it's dead now Paul let's taste this horn before it finally realizes it has run off a cliff and

hasn't fallen quite yet but it's like just still running so then we go over to um her mean hers is nice, like it looks good and she just messed up the icing like we said. She did like a zigzag instead of a curl curl. Her shirt, while her icing didn't, she didn't take the icing all the way down the edges so that when they were all stacked together, the icing was sort of like hidden in the ruffles of the horn. And then so last to best is Laura's last and then Dave.

They go, wait, with Laura's they go, oh Laura, but almost everything is wrong with this. But funny love, it's the only one that tastes good. Laura, we'd like to call your home. Goodbye, Laura, you're going home in about an hour horn. All right, thank you for trying. We like to call yours the 2020. Everything has gone wrong. And Dave's is Dave's they start laughing again, even talking about it. And then her mean is like, well, it's so nearly there, the decoration was awful, but it was nicely done and surely the

winner of the season can catch a little break from us on this one. That was so harsh the decorations awful. I was like, well, it looked really good. I was like, yeah, this is gonna be Hermione's redemption. I did too. Well she got second place, but first place of course goes to you. Peter Peter pumpkin eater, okay. You forgot the horn shape, but it was delicious. Well, that's because I don't drink, so I don't know what horns look like. No, Peter, you can't say that for everything. Oh, so, uh, Hermione is sad, which is like a con complain.

Peter deserved it. He's very good with detail. What a day. What a day. What a day. I think Peter's like, it's like it's not been a bad day There's a there's only four of us. I mean anything could happen just ask Did he the shuttlecock on his adventure when he wound up on a ship that was headed for the Caribbean instead of going home for Christmas dinner

And he's like well it gets chaffer But I'm doing really well right right right and Laura's like oh God glad that's over I guess I'm gonna have to smash the next one and then they cut to a duck and it's chicks like yeah The duck is like when the fuck are you people getting out of here? I got children to raise Dorable how do they find that like how do they find the most adorable B-roll footage on this show like I've never like I don't see I know is like the most perfect duck most perfect duckling, and they're all gathered together like, what an exciting show! I know. They're so excited to have the cast there.

We've got the baking show. So, uh... This holy wood, can we get an autograph? Time for your semi-final. Oh, they have to make 25 mini-cube-shaped cakes and stack them all together to be one larger cube. Yes, it's all about precision. By the way, everyone, we want to make an announcement for the first time ever. We're having a challenge. That's all about precision. Cubs need to be shot up in uniform. Many cakes can be flavoured and decorated,

but and you can use non-adabric supports, but you get more credit if it's all edible. Residue! Yeah, and Paul's like, it's a grueling hot challenge. Think Rubik's cube. We're looking for artistic flair, and we're like, the sponge needs to always be beautifully flavoured, beautifully textured, a martini right about now would be glorious or franzia or even just a little gin board on the back of my just just take the camera off of through okay I want all our all our bakers are amateurs I mean they are very much amateurs okay let

me just let me remind people me Paul Hollywood professional who went to Japan once then amateurs. I mean, they are very much amateurs. Okay, let me just let me remind people me, Paul Hollywood professional who went to Japan once, then amateurs. But we want them to make a big push into professionalism. I mean, as much as they can, I mean, let's be honest, Laura, she's lost cause. But I mean, she will be winning the whole thing. So they go to check on Peter and he's doing three different flavored cakes He's doing three sponges three mooses and three glazes. I mean this fucking kid man He's like a goody two shoes and he's like way going overboard, but damn it. He's good And he doesn't right there and he's nice. I just don't believe it. He's killing small animals in a spare time I just don't buy it. Yeah, I'm pretty like, that's a lot to do, Peter.

But sure, there's a lot to do. But guess what? So delivering Christmas presents to every single little boy and girl in all of the world. But Santa gets it done. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, so one baker for one baker today, show stopper is a step into the unknown.

And it's her mean and the judges are checking on her and she's like well when I practice day didn't go too well but today it's gonna be all new recipe and they're like when did you write this her mean she's like on toilet paper this morning so good luck to me huh I sort of tweeted out and I said people tweet me ingredients and they just sort of tweeted me a bunch of things And I've just decided to hook them all in a bowl. What a day And it's called the best of her mean cube cake Best of her mean I love that musical review

So yeah, it's gonna be freeze-dried Raspberry coffee and praline and stuff like that. We've seen enough top chef finals to know that the worst place to experiment is in the finals or right before the finals. And for some reason, so many chefs feel they need to do it. I don't know why, but they do. Yeah, you feel like you've got to pull out all the stops and see you follow all over yourself.

So we're watching them making sponges and Laura's thinking about textures and Dave is making a jacquon sponge. And chocolate cube cake. And here's this called the celebration of chocolate cube taco cake by Dave. Bye, Dave. He is going to make, yeah, there's going to have those caramel melted centers, chocolate caramel melted centers, and which I was laughing at because I just

knew I met more fucking caramel for Dave. Yeah, and you also liked it because it's your favorite thing of the episode, which is it's a very hot day and a tent. His Dave risking a meltdown. Temperatures are reaching 53 degrees Fahrenheit and these chefs are going to have to learn how to deal with sweat and high temperatures. So then we get Peter listening to his cake. He's like, if they bubble too much, they're not done. If they don't bubble enough, they're probably done. If they slap you in the face, they're probably your brother.

Cake? Cake, what are you telling me right now? You're bubbling speak louder cake. There's a fire Okay, where's the fire? It's in Sussex County everyone. There's a fire in Sussex County And what else cake kill Paul Hollywood? Okay cake. I'll do that Has anybody ever as anybody else started listening to the bubbles when they're baking stuff because I definitely do now as anybody else started listening to the bubbles when they're baking stuff, because I definitely do now. I actually think it seems like a good idea. I don't think I haven't baked like a sponge

since Peter came into my life. However, quick update, I did, did I say this on the podcast this week? I did make the chocolate cheesecake that I talked about last week, remember I said my chocolate cheesecake from childhood. I made it and it was just as good as I remembered it. And I posted the recipe in our Facebook group,

but I'll try to like, post it on my, it's actually already on my blog from like, I made it in 2008 and of course blogged about it back then and I was like, I'm a blogger. But I will, maybe I'll do a revamped version put on my blog too, but everyone, I'll post it. The recipe is just as good as it was, it's so good if you want chocolate cheesecake. good as it always was. It's so good if you want chocolate

She's kind of looks so good. It's so god So he's listening you're gonna eat it. I'm gonna have a slice. Yeah, why not? So I want things and I've been making it It literally takes it's actually it literally takes like 10 to 15 minutes to put everything together I mean you're just putting together cream cheese and sugar It literally takes, it's actually, it literally takes like 10 to 15 minutes to put everything together. I mean, you're just putting together cream cheese and sugar. But it takes 15 years to take it off. You know, you can use the third less, you could use new fichal and it works just as well.

Gross, new fichal is not the same. I'm so sick of people telling me it is. It's like, no, but in this chocolate cheesecake, it works. It works in the chocolate cheesecake. No. It's, I love, I love your cheesecake it works. It works in the chocolate cheesecake I love your toddler wanting about new chatelle cheese I've been practicing for things giving all week so I'm just making Thanksgiving food every day Because I want to get it right and be able to do it fast and feel like a badass

But you know, I haven't cooked a lot of it in a long time So like I haven't gotten my popovers right and the new oven and I haven't got them right. I finally got those fuckers right one time, you know, and then I'm making chocolate chip cookies and I'm like, you know what, I'm going to perfect my recipe. And this is of course all an excuse to just binge. Like we have like it's I'm not kidding myself, you know, but yeah, I've been eating so much. So I hear cheese cake and I'm like, but I have to make so many other things to binge on. But well, here's the bad news, Ron. You're probably going to make the chocolate cheesecake. Now I know.

You know, I am every time you talk about some shit. I mean, no, but it's really good. It's really easy. And you can share it with your family. All right. The point is Stulling. Peter's next. He's like, I listen to my cake. Alright, the point is, Stulling. Peter's next. He's like, I listen to my cake. So he's listening to his, and then Laura is doing a black forest inspired cake. She's doing a dark chocolate moose and a white chocolate and mirror glaze. Yeah, and the smallest lapse in concentration could spell disaster.

Or in the case of Laura, even if she does concentrate, it will spell disaster. Or in the case of Laura, even if she does concentrate, it will spell disaster. I know. Laura is like, well, I'm making it because it's my favorite thing, so I just figured I'd try to make that. And Prugos, that's the spirit lady who's about to be on a bus. Well, but she also goes, Prugos up to her and goes, Laura, I'm looking, she says, it's sort of important that you do really well, Laura. I mean, I like to reserve this sort of pressure for Hermine

But she will be fine because she's her main so Not saying that you're on the verge of elimination, but let's try to have something that's not melted today So Peter is getting gelatin ready for his moose and Laura They explain to us that you have to use just enough so it doesn't get rubbery and her mean is just like oh I mean just whole concoction which is from the album the best of her mean. The best of her mean. Oh I mean you know disco and caction.

Oh I mean. You know the fuck So the best of me the best the 80s 90s and her main it's coast one three point five Day what a day what a day full conduction So Peter knows exactly how much church he's gonna put in so know that or she Know it's like I used to wear bad boots made of gelatin back in the 70s And then when it got hot I'd get quite short Peter's like Dave of course is over there working with caramel against during it really hard

Dave of course is over there working with Carmel against during it really hard It's wrong with the sugar I had a taco seasoning to it why won't it work? So Peter is using metal molds to make his cakes which seems like the smart choice at by the end because everyone else is using these Life killing silicon mold, okay? Anyone who's used these in real life knows what to bitch these things, aren't they? I'm like, I thought these were non-stick. I know. And I also like, I think I just like the control

of being able to like have like one big square. It's also easier. Like you have to make all these things. Why not do like one big square and then you can slice it rather than do like one at a time. Yeah. So there, there, some of them are using silicon molds and Dave's dude going for his gooey center, Noah's putting cherries on and everyone's sweating. It's a hottest day. The tent and 62 degrees Fahrenheit. And Mac goes

up to her mean and says, are you allowing to think of yourself in the final? And she's like, no, no, I'm not. She was like, but you allowing to think of yourself in the final? And she's like, no, no, I'm not. She was, but you know, like have you thought about being in the final? Because you are in the lead. She's like, no, there may not be a slot in the final for me. He's like, but it's like, stop getting it ahead. Yeah. She's like, this not going to be a final. And he's like, so are you saying you want to cancel the final if you are not? not gonna be a final and he's like, so are you saying you want to cancel the final if you're not? So now they're doing their glazes and Peter's like, that's crackle!

Yeah and Laura's just adding, 24 sheets of gel to fill the mirror glaze and Dave is he's like preparing shapes for his cake stand and stuff like that and her main mirror glaze is all, it's all glue. It looks like slime. She looks like she made like yellow slime. And she's just like, this is not right. This is not right. And what a day. Yeah, her cakes aren't setting.

Like she's miserable. And it's hard to watch because love her. What a nightmare. Now it's to the point where everyone's cutting everything out of the silicon, because nothing's coming out. So they're having to cut through it and Peter's look perfect of course and Dave's or D.C. And

Davis telling Matt do you know how much each Do you know how much each of these cost nine pounds for each one of these mine pounds and those like you pay to that Blue I know what she pays likes I so I work for her actually. Get a clothes. Glass, but brawl. Get a some tea. She doesn't even know I'm there actually.

She doesn't see me. I go behind the furniture and suddenly I'm throwing them back into Nania. You know? She's going up. Yeah. That takes me three hours because I have to bargain with a lion king of some sort. Yeah. Dave's just like ignoring him. Dave is like slicing that silicone off of his thing, just like, just ignoring.

Yeah. And her means is not setting. And it's just like, this is not going well for Hermine. We know. And then Laura's mirror glaze is way too thin. So she's like trying to like, this is when Laura goes into full Laura. Suddenly, she has like a tray of melted chocolate and she just pours it onto her countertop.

Yeah, it just starts like tilting it out chocolate goes everywhere and it's not, the consistency's not right. So it's like kind of see through on it. And hers looks kind of horrific, but also kind of delicious. Yeah, also. It's still like chocolate and you can sort of see cake and you're like, I could have been like that on it. Her looks kind of horrific, but also kind of delicious. Yeah, because it's still like chocolate and you can sort of see cake. And you're like, I could have been like that on purpose, right? Yeah. It looks kind of like silky or something.

Like it looks kind of okay. But her means like she put a lot of gelatin into her mousse and then she had put a lot of mousse into her cakes. And so now her cakes are all like wobbling like the jelly. And it's just like not what you want out of a cake. You don't want a wobble cake unless you have that jutey puff dough. And she's miserable. And she's like, I don't even want to carry on. And Laura's like, come on, you can do it. I believe in you. I was like, could you try a little harder? Laura, okay, I'm not believing that. I know. 10 minutes

left or means defeated. And Dave's of Dave's looks great And Peter's looks really pretty his looks fantastic. They're all different colors and then pistachio one looks like it's covered in Moss and then there's like pink ones and black one effervescent Her mean look like she made a bunch of marshm, which is appetizing in its own different way, but it's not quite what they wanted. It's supposed to be really neat because it's participatory. Yeah. So then Peter, of course, he like puts all his little cubes on his thing and he's like, snow gets a bug in a rug, right? Brother? Oh! He threw another grenade at me. Crackle, snaggy-buggie.

Yeah, and so uh, and then Peter and Dave have this like weird moment where they're like Peter's like I'm Dave's like, are you good, Pete? And I said I'm good. I'm happy. How about you? He's like, yeah Happy yeah happy. I'm like, but you guys did just be quiet right now. Yeah, of course my parents is going home I don't know who's going home. It's Hermione or Laura about one of my favorites is going home So please respect the moment. Yeah, so we go to judging Dave's is first and his look great. They're very uniform. Proo's like brave choice with the chocolate. Chocolate is not brave in general.

Delicious. I want to see you be brave. So then Paul's life Paul's like oh, calm, most delicious the moves is perfectly set so fudgy very good You've improved a lot and Dave's like I think I have his well. I've really improved And he's just staring there like and and so and proves like very good Just there debut of my new gesture. A clap. He's like, well done Taco Man. And Dave's like, yes, he's just like staring at Paul's hand, like waiting it for it to come forward.

Cause Paul literally is like, it's a triumph. It's the best thing I've ever had. He's like, and? He's like, goodbye, stupid. Uh, so then, Laura's black forest cake and, uh, no, it's just like rubbing his boobies like he loves it so much. And Bruce likes it's melting.

I was like, it's a registry week. It has to look good. Laura. Yeah. The heat's taken its toll and still has your stupidity. So then they taste it and prove like, she does that thing, prove does that thing where she bites something that she like cocks her head?

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. With calories. And then we go to Peter's chocolate raspberry pistachio, cube cake, three chocolate, three cake, three ice and three donkeys just brought those in here. Christmas is forever what you play bad,

but in cake. And this forever when you play badminton cake. And this was not called a Christmas dessert, but it was red and green. Okay, we see you. You Christmas obsessed with weirdo. What the hell? Oh, that is so clever, Peter. And so complicated, just like your emotional psyche, right? Oh, it's set beautifully beautifully the sponge in the loses

or just. So then we go. Wait, wait, and then, and they all think it's great. They try the first two and then Peter's like, can I ask you to taste the final one? It's my favorite, it's my favorite. I'm like, Peter, be careful. I'm politics and goes, but that one disappoints me. He's like Peter be careful. I'm pulsating. Oh, but that one disappoints me. He's like, I'm just joking. I'm friendly Paul today.

Remember when I made that joke about how it sent it back to meet the chef? Oh, it's you. So her mean so proves like, well, it doesn't look great. Does it? And the bottom is collapsed. The bottom is melting. It's collapsing because of the cake to go down and everything. And it doesn't take like the thing that's supposed to be like cherry, it tastes more like raspberry and then the gelatin ones like panna cotta. Yeah.

And Prus is like, oh, I know we've just called this Georgie bouncing rubbery and disgusting But I just wanted to say this to be honest my little I mean I'm disappointed in you Please kill yourself She let me go She really goes you're so good at this serene by your standards. It's a failure Like when you're lost is down that guy's true always will find a nice thing to say But like well you actually still does amount of salt dust, but your own trepid spirit really is good work for you And this time to think it's a failure

Yeah, you suck you are a waste of skin. Thank you for coming. See yourself. I'm so sorry. So then he Peter's like, you know, so exciting because he got a handshake. And he's like, first, I'm in finally. I'm back. I'm in long for star baker.

And then Laura's like, well, it went better than I expected. I mean, pretty said it was worth the calories So I'm certain but it's between me and her mean going home, but I mean that was worth it in there And Dave's like well that was phenomenal. I'm so proud. I even managed to pull that off I mean Paul said it was a charm that's gonna stick with me forever not as much as a handshake would so the judges go talk to each other and shakewood. So the judges go talk to each other and both they all agree that David and Peter are in it to win it and Paul's like oh you know Paul Dave struggled after the gate but to come up with that

and then they're talking about all the different mousse is that he made and then it's Hermine's time and Prius is like, well I just wish I had a jet plane so that I could stand Hermine right in the middle of a field and plow into her! What a disaster that was! So disappointed! I mean it was basically a rubber ball. It was a rubber ball and I know that because I've been to Japan and they have balls and they have rubber there So just want to remind everyone before we wrap up this season. I've been to Japan Thank you, and I was like well in her defense. She at least did two things You know like maybe it wasn't the greatest, but she made more effort than Laura did and I was like well Laura's is messy, but it was delicious

And Prius like where we told her she had to save herself did she? So who wins? Yeah. Well, and they're like, they're talking and about like, you know, like they're still celebrating and it feels like this is the worst time to go out and pause. It's absolutely heart breaking. It's brutal! God, it's my favorite time in the competition. Yeah, and Peter wins. So he's all excited. Yeah, and who's going home? Hermine, and I know where he told you but still, and she's like I'm

disappointed, but everything happens for a reason and it was the right time for me Like oh And Prue and Prue just goes up to her goes oh you are so good and it was just a bad day It was not a bad day that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Oh there Stiff up a lip and such and Peter's like on crack pot Yeah, he's like I have to bake off jackpot this week. And it's like, it's surreal. I mean, we're locked down in a country state.

With Prudely, Paul Hollywood, Eeking of Bakes, and Matt Lucas going around trying to make you laugh and knows there, and then you're brother Swing, good other bars, your head reminding you what a piece of shit you are, I don't like us! And I'm cuss! Waking up in the middle of the night ramp, surrounded by all this talent,

and then seeing no standing at the foot of your bed, touching himself, coss! Waking up in the middle of the night ramp surrounded by all this talent and then seeing no standing at the foot of your bed touching himself, what a time it's been. Wow, I'll never forget those late nights. Here quarantined at the country of state, well I sneak out of the tent and find a little duck and ring its neck until it dies and I go back into bed and think about my Christmas cakes. Dark. Well that brings us to the end of semi-final night.

We will be back next week with the finale of French finale. French finale. Please don't spoil us because we probably won't be watching until Monday or so. So please don't spoil us. Please. We're excited. It's more excited. Thanks for being here. I hope you're having a great thanks giving week.

Yes. Watch us on video if you want. We're also going to be back this week with video for Real Housewives of Orange County. We are going full steam ahead through this holiday week. So join us, why don't you? Please do, and everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Tell us what you made and we'll talk to you on the next one

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