Watch What Crappens - HOTD: Getting Off On The Wrong Foot

Episode Date: October 19, 2022

The King is dead (spoiler), which means it's time to start a new chapter in the history of Westeros.  But House of the Dragondoesn't make things easy.  From foot fetishes to child cage matches, this episode throws all the cringy material at us, and it can only lead to one thing:  war.  And nightmares.  But mostly war.Watch us on video with Crappens on Demand here:  https://www.patreon.com/posts/73435560?pr=trueSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Winters Crapin'ing. It is a watcher crapins podcast about House of the Dragon. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one, the only, and just mere inches away from me.

Mr. Ronnie Karam, hi Ronnie, how are you? Oh, good. Oh my goodness, we are here to talk House of the Dragon. And I'm very excited that Ronnie is right here in Los Angeles. It's always exciting to have you here. Yes, it's really good to be, House the Dragon, and I'm very excited that Ronnie is, is right here in Los Angeles. It's always exciting to have you here. Yes, it's really good to be, you know, given Dirty Lixx over my weight again. I've really missed that from Texas, so thanks.

We are doing, this is crap is on demand, so you can actually watch us here together, sharing the same screen. Go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends and you get access to our videos if you support on the crap is on demand level and we are not going to we're not going to waste any time we're diving into this episode partially because we've actually already we actually dove into it already we recorded for a good 15 minutes and realized our audio wasn't on So before we got too deep into it, we stopped. We had some excellent banter about cobblestones. Hey, save it. We can reuse banter. Okay. Okay. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I wow, lots of, lots of, what an episode. Lots and lots of, lots and lots of madness happened.

So it opens up in an extremely, extremely dark place. Like literally dark, okay? This whole thing is dark, they don't use lighting. I mean, what the hell, a big dark castle with nobody walking through the halls. Does nobody have to piss at night in this castle? What's going on here? Like all they do is eat and drink in this castle.

We've not seen anybody squat. We've seen nobody leaning up against a wall just peeing. You know, some of you have to pee. I don't believe that there's nobody walking, especially when you know the king and the queen and all those people. Yes. You know that there's at least one gay couple fucking in a pantry somewhere. I mean, it's fine. It's the capital of the entire world. There have to be, like, there has to be more activity going on. You cannot tell me that, like, if you go to the White House, which is not the capital, the world

was the capital of the United States, if you go to the White House at three in the morning, I guarantee there's a lot of people walking around. Or guard, or somebody standing there. Or just a staff, they're like, oh, thank God, everyone's asleep, we can talk now. You know? Yeah, but this is one of those episodes where they're like, oh my God, the sadness, look, the silence.

And we get a lot of sound effects. It's like, you know, we see here kind of swords clinking for whatever reason, I didn't really understand that one. And then you hear birds chirping and then you see the empty council room with the wind blowing through the thing and then we hear piano tinkling and I'm like okay they're just letting some intern take over the sound effects now what's a piano tinkling where's that coming from is that coming from the same room the swords are clinking against

each other everybody's asleep they have a player piano maybe. There's a gift. Is it gift from Driftmark? Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant by the way, where did this child come from? Why is this child away? Child labor, you know, you got to love a place that hasn't been unionized yet, cause they're just like kids can stay out. Just have the kid deliver secrets, okay? That's a neat sleep, it's not like we have school here. Yeah, everyone in this gosh darn, gosh darn castles of sleep, but for some reason there's a child that's awake at 3am, and the child is running through

this castle amazingly without like busting a knee out or something. Maybe that's why they use children because any adult in that castle with one fucking thing on fire would be stubbing their toes on everything stone in there. You have to go up 10 flights of stone to get anywhere in this place. And then he goes to the shitty kitchen which I expect a better kitchen in King's Landing. I know it's old times I don't expect your microwave okay but something like a nice cutting board those are what I mean which I expect a better kitchen in King's Landing. I know it's old times, I don't expect your microwave, okay. But something like a nice cutting board, those are what? I mean, what do you,

no, I mean, there was really lacking accessories. I mean, they didn't have, first of all, there was no kitchen island. There was not even one of those double islands, you know, which is very on track right now. I know what I hate, though. An island. It was a sit-at, an island to cook at.

Yeah, it was because if you're the one doing the cooking, what the fuck are you gonna do? You're like, okay, but you guys are sitting at that one. So I'll bring this around this table. Yeah. Back in through this table. It looks like just like a college classroom, you know, just like a big long table.

I know. Where you dissect a frog or something. Yeah, so I mean, so I guess we're glad that it doesn't have two islands. Thanks for coming for dinner today. We're using Bensonburners. Okay. But I need it to have, I get that it's a different time,

but maybe some towels with some funny sayings on it. Tea towels. Yeah, it could have used like a... I think they're real cute. Sweet dreams are made of, no, cheese dreams are made, sweet dreams are made of cheese, who like a disagree? Yeah.

Or like, I've got a dishwasher. It's my husband. Also, I don't really, he he he he. Honestly, I can't tell really just, you know, how good of a chef this is without a poster that says something like tomatoes or a fricaccia. Kitchen.

Kitchen. I don't know that kid even know where he was going. that says something like tomatoes or friccacha. Yeah, kitchen. The kitchen. How did that kid even know where he was going? Or what about a poster of the Eiffel Tower somewhere? How about that? Yeah, there really aren't to the posters of something like that. It's really the kitchen's lacking in many places. They don't have that, but they don't need the Eiffel Tower.

They could just be like, you know, the pillow house or whatever, like get a poster, you know, to wrist attractions. Yeah. So, um, anyways, this child goes up to Talia, who's like the lead maid. How's that? I love that her name is Talia. It's like in a world of egons and rameys and reindeer on. It's like, Talia, Hey Talia. Natalia. So, uh, she's there and match was tall Natalia from below deck med. So on up here doing all the work and the kitchen is always for the client and you're doing nothing. So anyway. You're older too much dark so this is one time.

This KSL doesn't know how to provision. And tallia is also, she just doesn't really fit on the show, the actor or what the character does, but the actor is like very Instagram model. Yeah, she looks kind of like one of, oh god, I'm sorry, I'm getting a Charlie horse. Oh, it's probably the bridge chair I stuck you on. No, it's not because I keep moving my legs and my legs just don't ever move my legs.

So I can't suddenly be like, oh look at me being all flexible, because I'm not. So anyway, this girl's like an Instagram mob. She just has that look like she's waiting for something better. And I think she's like gonna be the gossip girl like to get something better, but I don't know that that's gonna happen.

I sense that she's jealous of the actress who plays the white worm, Missy Area or whatever, because you know that Talia worked out a really strange accent that makes no sense in the audition. She's like, hello, my name is Missy Aria, and I know all the same, and then they're like, we're gonna go with the other ladies' strange accent,

and she's like, we'll make you Talia though. She's like, fine. Yeah, the other actress added about three more accents at a time than you, so I'm sorry. We really liked your French slash Spanish, but the other girls also got Russian midwestern and Norwegian. Yeah, so unfortunately, we're just gonna make you Talia. Yeah, we're gonna have you modeling some leggings, okay, in front of the dragon bed.

Do you know how to light candles? Because we will need you to light several candles for a scene. The little kids like, I don't know, I'm not gonna see in the dark. I was like, oh, shut up. We'll fucking delivery boy. So the kid like, the kid, the kid, the bass is like, hey, someone's going on. So then we see, Taliya goes up to the Queen's house. Sorry, but, do you want more comfortable chair?

I swear to God, it's a pretty chair. It's not the chair, it's because I'm sitting lower to the ground and I have, you know, I'm just moving. No, no, it's fine. I just need to figure out where I'm sitting, you know. You know, the iron throne is difficult to sit in. You're going to get your body part going on. The same thing as the aluminum throne.

Yeah, it's difficult. So anyway, so Talia goes in and tells the queen like, you know, that this has happened. And so now Allison's crying in bed and You know she said you'd think that Allison would be psyched. I mean. Yeah. How many more sore baths do you want to give? You know I'd be like they gods like you're just throwing away like your box of plastic nurse gloves You got a fam is on she's been having slimy sex for like 20 years. Okay, we've seen it. We've seen it.

She's been stuck in this situation. She never really cared about him. You can probably put your wet naps away. What the fuck are you crying about? I know. The misery is over and now she's crying. So then he was a good guy. And I think that Hallisent ended up telling her like,

he died singing. Uh, I dreamed a dream from Lay Mizz and doing kind of jazz hands at the bird's eye view camera. She's like, Oh my God, that's beautiful. I always loved that song. And the most impressive part, he didn't even open his mouth. Have you ever heard, have you ever heard Lay Mizz through a cheek before? He did have a complete cigarette just sort of hanging out of his cheek.

Sometimes when he's asleep, I do attach it because you do his cheek just to hear what it sounds like. How many of you miss those days? So Allison's like, how do we know it in the main track? He saw with his own eyes, your grace, who the kid? Little kid, little fucking nosy little fucker. Wait, the Otalia said the kid saw saw with his own eyes, your grace, which, who the kid? Little kid, little fucking nosey little fucker. Wait, the, Natalia said the kid saw it with his own eyes? Yeah, with his own eyes, your grace. That's what she said. Oh, yeah, that's right. A kid was watching.

Sneaky little kid. Yeah. Okay. So then, what are you gonna do with kids these days? Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom Just to wait and see kids. This is my song in Bible Birdie when I was in ninth grade. I was the mayor. Anyway, as the mayor, I was much like the King in the show, very ineffective, and I'm sure if there was a follow-up to Bible Birdie, you would have seen the mayor's cheek fall off as well. So, Allison's like, stay here, tell no one, help me dress, which caught it. You know, there are so many reasons that it sucks to be a woman in this time,

but this needing assistance to just walk down the hallway. Has it got to be the top of it? Yeah, seriously. So she goes to see your dad and he's like, who knows? And she's like, well, my, my hand me in Talian, some of the servants, which basically means like everyone knows, everyone's gonna gossip. And it's like, this is like the gossip that the servants have been waiting for. Yes, dating of live by Birdie. They're like, hi's gonna gossip. This is like the gossip that the server is waiting for. Just waiting for my biverty.

They're like, Hi, Taga. Hi, Debbie. Yeah, pretty much. I mean, really, if you look at the season, it can just be seen as just a remake of my biverty in many different ways. Yeah, I'm sorry.

It's like English teacher. In English teacher. I wish I remembered more of the songs. I just remembered that. I'm out of it. It won't be, it won't be, it won't be. They have already done all my things. We love you, we love you, A-gon.

Oh yes we do. We love you, A-gon. This much is true. Yeah. Except way less hot. Poor A-gon with his grungy Seattle ass. A-gonon cheer up You're rich. I came to the realization that Aegon has the same hair as the daughter from Arab East town and that

Yeah So let's go. Okay auto watches the fire and looks at okay, so She's like yeah, the mates told me everything in musical form and But you know what? Before he died, a little peanut from the melted peanut and then came out of his cheek and I ate that. And I was, frankly, it was good. I'm never going to pass up and let me do the peanuts

the best part. All right, so a little bit of time. Also, he said he wanted my son to be king and I was like, mm-hmm. So I'm not lying. He really did say it. Yeah, and so then we see Taliah lighting candles in a window, which is her son.

That's her son. We imagine, well, so here's the thing. At first when she was doing it, I was like, oh, she's signaling to the white worm, because we saw last episode that she was already talking to the white worm, but then, or two episodes again, whatever it was. But I was like, okay, so you're lighting six candles in a window and then it like zooms

out and it is like up many floors and across the entire city. No one's seen those candles. Do you know what I'm sure the white worm is probably like, okay, Talia, okay. So this is what I want to say to you Talia, that the candles are not working, I'm not getting the information, we need to have a better system. She's like, no, but I swear, the candles are really good.

We should. I think Missaria really likes making it difficult. She's like, do it on the 18th floor, only children will walk up. All right. And for Missaria, hateates child labor, we learn. I mean, frankly, I disagree. Like, I love my iPhone.

So thank you very much, children. You're doing a great job. Like, literally, this thing is unbreakable. But she has this thing against child labor. You sure use it though, no. She certainly does. You're fine with having kids run all over the city, you know, watching fucking candle signals

and taking shit out of Natalia's pocket in the kitchen. So, don't get all righteous with me, man. Yeah, do what you, the more humane version, which is to hire several dogs to howl across the English countryside to get the word out. Their trustworthy doghouse. But, you know, I'm sure that she actually Missouri doesn't care about this candle She probably just gave that test to Talia because Talia's up in her business like so when I find out like should I should I come over

Should I send someone like what do you want me? It's like no, it's fine. I'll handle it But what about like maybe how about I come over and I'll knock three times like okay? How about this tolya go up to the top floor of your castle and light candles? Can I sing firework? Can I sing firework? Yeah, you will hear it. It's like no, Natalya. How could have candles coming up with boobs? No, no, I'm gonna need you. Just go light candles in the top floor. It'll be perfect. It'll be so helpful to tell you. Thank you. I'm so glad. Yeah, I figured it was like a symbol or it was like a mischape in Hanukkah Like they just hadn't like really locked down the Hanukkah deets yet. It was just

It was just it just so happened that the King's death Happened during the festival of lights and There was they just have a the menorah that needed some work. Yeah, so Let's see here. So then the council g gathers, all the little bowl talkers. So we see all the little balls and the bowls going on. Yes, I just got, I'm just double checking. We had, I'm so scared too.

I'm so scared. I'm so scared. I'm going to do a voice recording. It just, you guys, we are so traumatized by this recording going awry. I'm just glad that we caught it not long after this scene. We didn't. But it just goes to show you,

you can do something for a decade and still fuck it up. At least once a month. I mean, it's not like this doesn't ever happen. It we, I mean, we little to be recorded a whole episode of Real House with New Jersey this year. Okay, so anyway, everybody is with their little gold balls, their little talking balls. Yeah.

And of course, that Snotty-ass Lannister, Tyrone, Tyrell, Tyrande, Tyrone. Tyrone, Tyrone. I'm just gonna call him Tyson. Tyson. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone.

Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone.

Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Tyrone. Ty up. I've got my phone. Okay, so Lannister house of the dragon. Let's see what his name is. Okay, cuz we are simple it liberal Dabada house Jason Lannister no way we can't go from Tylenol to Jason Tylenol okay, I'm gonna let out this. We'll just keep... Either way, while we look up his name, he's sitting there, this idiot,

it's three or four in the morning, and he's like, what is it that could not have waited for an hour? I'm like, your king is a pile of goo who does not have a cheek, and you're wondering what could have possibly happened that you called an emergency session to the small council? Yeah, the king is basically a lower lip and a big toe and you're like what could possibly happen to call an emergency meeting? I'm very very busy, you

know, gifting gifting pulls to people trying to decide who'd give pulls to. Yeah, so I couldn't, you know, I went to the HBO thing and I couldn't Thailand is it time I think so I'm gonna go Thailand for today So then it's actually Thailand yeah, oh you're right Target family tree. Okay, let's see. I'm gonna look it up. Okay. Sorry. Of course HBO is like still the last website That's using like flash so you have to like wait for it to load up Okay, all right, and everything is oh god. It's it's it's very zoom-y Okay, I know he's on here cuz I've seen him before. I'm scrolling. I'm scrolling. This is this okay You keep talking I'm gonna find it on here. I'm getting close. So anyway, he's like why do we have to come here so early and others like well The king is dead and everyone's like soccer like what do you have to come here so early? And others are like, well, the king is dead.

And everyone's like, soccer. Like, what do you have to say like that? Like, we know, just say, you should just say finally, you know. And so he's like, we grieve for the seris, the peaceful, our sovereign, our friend, our singer of Les Mies, on his deathbed with one jazz hand extended to the ceiling. But his last breath he impressed on the queen, his final wish. I bet he impressed a lot on the queen with that final breath. That's a lot of final breath coming down to that guy. They did not have like whitening

mouthwash. There was no there's no spearmen to that final breath. Yeah, that breath comes out of a lot of places. Okay. So it was rough, it was so hard. And I just find it so funny that they call him Viserys the Peaceful, which was basically just, that's basically just a nice way of saying, was. Pussy. Yeah, Viserys the Wus.

Viserys the Man who couldn't kill Lydia with one strike. Pussyface. Viserys, pussyface, pussy, Macpussyson. Yeah. I still haven't found the name, by the way. It wasn't on the HBO with God. I'm getting, I'm getting, I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm getting I'm read I looked it up earlier and I was thinking Thailand, Thailand, every girl and by land. I was like that so much advice had a land.

They'd be like, oh my god, finally we're taking seriously. Grays guys are gonna clear up, put on a happy face with the cheek. So anyway, just doing my bivari. I remember that there was a matter of bivari. I remember another bivari song, so I just had to put it in there. Anyways, they're like, yes, our Lord, the King, Viserys, King of the... Viserys, the peaceful, our sovereign, our leader, our human game of Maustrap, put a marble in his eyeball and watch a comment as Jiki's just so fun.

The model for the ever-so-popular stone game operation. They're playing Operation Vg. But their operation is just like a hammer and a leech, and they can't figure out why they can't fix anybody. Daddy, put the leech in his cheek. Razing kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So yeah, he said, well, luckily he had a dream, a dream that he would, he could have his throne taken by someone who looks like Winona Ryder in the stealing the scarf from Burdor's face He had a dream that the next king could be someone who looks like He has from Eastern Pennsylvania and his mom is a very good detective Christina Ricci hasn't been born yet, but King Viserys saw her in a dream

Reachie hasn't been born yet, but King Viserys saw her in a dream. Anyway, so then... So Thailand. Oh, thank God. So finally we can get our like getting rid of this fucking Ray Ray into this planet emotion. Girl, we've been planning this so long. I can't wait to tell that hooker. She's not going to sit on the throne. It's going to be hilarious.

Hey, does anybody have the your dead Ray Ray hat? And Allison's like excuse me you've been planning to do get rid of her anyway What have I been worrying about this dying wish for it? Didn't even fucking matter are you saying I've been coming to these small Council meetings and sitting through One meeting after another about the frickin stepstones when secretly you guys are doing the real business behind my back I don't even care what the stepstones. I'm a platter in skin too. I've had to sit here and then you're waiting to plan family aside or whatever you call it.

Like what I get to do like the out of stop sign to the coldest act street because people still have to cross the back. That's what meetings I get. I'm going to the zoning board, basically. I thought I was on the planning commission. So I was like, well, yes, well, okay, now that she knows my ball is in the hole, I'll start talking faster.

Let's do this, we agree, this town needs a home goods, yes, get that started. Also, really don't like jock straps, they don't cover the back of your butt. I think we need something that covers the back of your butt. Boxes, briefs, something in between, something that won't ride up to you and that's something we don't shave. You're saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then Ardo is, he's basically like, well, there's basically, there's two captains of the city watch, who remain loyal to Damon. So let us replace them.

Let Ravens be sent to our allies and really run and hire Garden. Yeah, and she's like, wait, so the council has been secretly been planning to make my son the main masturbator out of window where no one's gonna tell me that. And one of the guys is like, there was no need to solely you with this information. It's probably fucking Thailand. Who else talks about like this? I don't know who this guy is. But we didn't want to solely you, queen,

but just a girl. This guy emerged on the small council out of nowhere and I feel like we never really understood who he was or where he came from. He just like arrived like last week and it just been smart me and I want someone to be like wait a second What are you doing here? Why are you ruining our all our meetings? Well either way I don't want to be Mr. Roper to do that because he stands up and he's like I would not have this to hear of you plotting to replace the King's

Chose now with An imposter We both start for Ray Ray already And they were like oh, that was 20 years ago. Right. Well I am 6 and 70 years old. Wait a second. You're both 6 years old and you're 70.

No, it's math. My age is math. I am 3 and 3 and 10 and 60 years old. Think about it. Yeah. He's like, this is Cisha. This is Stabus. 10 and 60 years old, think about it. Yeah. He's like, this is Cisha, this is that this is ridiculous.

I'm older than all of you. Don't ever use that in an argument, okay? Because I'm not that old, but I've used that in an argument and people just look like they wanna pull your plug. Okay, you're not gonna convince anybody by saying I'm older. They'll be like, yeah, you are, just die already veggie.

Mr. Roper, I don't know if you've seen any of the videos that happen when people your age go into a jamba juice and don't get the service that they like, but it never ends well for you, okay? It always ends up with the internet making fun of you. And another thing. I remember when you make carrot juice by chewing on a carrot. I ordered beet juice in this and that's not what this is. And then the black guy is like, but you're all tongue. And I was like, you can't say that.

Like, two sand, the poor king, without poor king. But now we see that Kristen has come up behind Mr. Roper, which that is never a good sign, okay? I don't even care if you're in a bathhouse. Nobody wants Kristen coming up behind me. No, no, okay. Definitely not so So then but Mr. Roper's still going right because he's on one now because he's grieving. Let's be honest He's grieving. He's you know, and no one's really giving him that space. I'd like to say and

Yeah, they're like well the king said it before he went to bed And he's like oh really where the king was well last night by all accounts Oh really, where the king was well last night by all accounts. It's missing half his face of finger, possibly a hit balloon. He didn't have a knee. I mean, what the hell? Do you remember standing in a room for three hours while he walked across it? He's, he is not well at all. He is literally like, he's, he's actually been dead.

He is moving purely by gas as being released by his body. Yeah, but Mr. Ropel, Beaselbees, he's so sweet because he's that friend who no matter what happens, you're all broken out, you've gained 30 pounds during COVID, like whatever, he's like, you look great. You know what happens to all of us? It's fine. He's like really nice.

Have you been walking? You've been doing a lot of speed walking around the neighborhood. You look amazing. Have you been working out lifting? What's in my favorite one, my gain weight? I have a cousin every time I gain weight, because you know, I'm up and down a lot,

and I have a cousin who, whenever I gain weight, he goes, have you been working out? Mm-hmm. Yes. I feel like this is all muscle here. Look at this. Look at what lifting has done for me. You know what I like about Lord Beesbury?

Is that I feel like he is the sort of guy who goes around that castle, and he recites information that he learned about you 15 years ago. He's like, oh so still doing the blogging aren't you? And like, no, I don't do that anymore. No, oh, okay, well, good for you. So yeah, he's like, well who can know that he even died of his own accord? And the bear guy is like, excuse me, are you accusing anyone here? Like, you guys just admitted to planning for 10 years to kill Reneer's entire family.

You can't get all self-righteous. Like, how dare you suggest that we actually killed the king? You literally have an evil goatee. Okay, and then you're acting like shocked that someone would say that you might be like planning this. Okay, so then Kristen, who is basically roiding out at any given moment, he comes up, and he just says that he goes, sit down, but instead of like putting a hand on a shoulder and being like, you go back into your seat now,

he slams board, beesbury into the table, and of course, as we little talking like the ball the track ball slash, you know, divot thingy Whatever smash this little ball Little ball. I'm just a little joystick. His little is little man. Talking ball his little is little. He gets a paled in the temple. Dashed tray and paled on the temple with a talking ball. Okay, dead kill right there. He deserved better. Huge human resource violation by the way to do this Seriously, can anybody at least act like they have fucking feelings on this show?

I mean, they're just like oh god, we've just almost got to clean that up Do we have any children on staff right now? But by the way, how many things does this Kristen have to do where before he gets fired because he is like He is a horrific night. He let Ray Ray escape in the middle of the night. He killed, he made a scene at that wedding. He made me low fowl of that kid's face at the wedding. And nobody even said anything. Did he even get written up?

He probably doesn't have anything on his file, this fucking guy. Yeah. Oh, and I can guarantee you, he's got no speeding tickets. Okay. He's just like, well, he just uses that privilege, that gorgeous, herred privilege. He has hair privilege, yeah.

Yeah, we don't like him. So anyway, so they basically kill Mr. Roper right there. And then so Sir Harold gets really mad. So he pulls out a sword. This is like a classic thing about the dragons when things happen. One person pulls out a sword, then another person pulls out a sword,

and they stare at each other. And then everyone says, then there's usually someone to be like, put your swords down. So. And they also hold their swords. Like you know in movies, how when people pull a gun, they're trying to be all bad, as they hold the gun sideways.

You're like, that's my eye shoot again. Like everybody knows that that's my eye shoot again. I feel like that's how they get their swords. They like pull them and then they're like, I've got a sword. I've got a sword. It's pointing to the right, though. Like who holds their wrist sideways and angled down,

like pointing the sword at someone? Oh, I thought it's all right. And then they both do it that way. I know. It's our version of, you know, like lock sideways. So there's like a tense moment, but then basically, then the maesters like,

guys, we need to get this body removed The auto's like no, no, like we are going to finish our meeting whether there's a corpse here or not and blood Listen, we have sat through what two three four years of a king. We were decades I mean that king has been rotting for decades, okay? Are we gonna pretend that a few little maggots are gonna stop a meeting? I mean, give me a break. I mean, do you remember when we were planning out the summer solstice and his EFL off

in the middle of the meeting and we had to pretend like we didn't see it? Okay, we've been three worse. And I like that Thailand is like, well, I'm changing seats at the very least. Yeah. So they continue talking. And basically they're like,

so what's the Queen's like? So what are we gonna do about Ranera, right? Because you know, she's here and and so Otto's like, well She can't she can't be left like free to draw support for her claim So you know what and so the Queen's like well, you're gonna throw her in jail And he goes, no, no, we'll we'll give her a chance to Bend the knee. Yeah, he's like listen, you know if, if we let her free, her and her, her family will be given the opportunity to just chant, let's egg on, egg on. You know, this egg, egg on is the best.

Yeah. The bear is like, man, I suggest get your leg on with egg on. We're going for legless people now. You need to think about your marketing brand or strategy. Who are we talking to here? I've gone mad for egg gone. No, it's just, it's not really, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's gone and gone.

I get it. Get your peg on with egg gone. Egg is. Anal, sort of anal. You know? It's a, Meg Ryan is for egg on egg on egg on egg on egg on egg on egg on egg on egg on egg on egg on just say egg on a lot how about egg ongon, Igon, Igon? Igon with the wind. They're very controversial.

You know, they won't even replay that about edits on the ocean television. How about Igon with the wind fabulous? Mm, alright. You know, Atlanta's not here yet. God save us all. So, I was like, we'll work on that. We'll work on the slogan later.

And I was like, well, Rayba not made it in, at you and no Damon, so what you're gonna kill them and he's like ding ding I mean, what do you think? Yeah, so we're gonna fucking kill them. What do you think? Everyone knows how easy it is to kill Damon. I mean, this is why you're not at the small, small council. I mean for crying out loud You couldn't even pick up on the fact that when I said we'll give a chance to swear Bees obedience. Yeah, that'd be really mad. We're just gonna kill her. I mean for crying out loud daughter and Man, it's just like they can't live. I mean get serious like we just can't have them all over

I'm worried gonna do they have polls too listen They're not the only ones with really sharp poles, okay? And Otto's like, well, sacrifices must be made, but the king would wish, and she says, the king would not wish for the murder of his daughter. You know, he loved her, and I will not have you deny this. And then the douchey guy goes, and yet, check one more word out of you, you little fucker. And so then, so then, Thailand's like,

well, what do you suggest, or grace? And Otto goes, well, so then, Thailand's like, well, what do you suggest to her Grace? And Otto goes, well, old Kovanda Westling, take your Nuts to Dragonstone and be quick and be clean. Like, she didn't answer quickly enough with an alternate idea. So like, okay, we had all of them and their children and their mates too. Yeah, like give her a moment to catch up.

She just found out that you guys were plotting secretly, which is kind of on her, because she could have just like, she, when she saw that there was a guy with a weird go-t sitting next to her for the past few years, she should realize something was a foot, but like give her a moment, okay? Yeah, so then we hear,

Well, Sir Harold then gives up his cloak. Sir Harold is like, Oh, I missed that, yeah. He then he's like, well, I'm not gonna, he's just like, I'm not gonna take a look. I'm not gonna take my gorgeous white cloak on the table. I don't work for you. I work for a king.

How dare you? And when there is a king, you give me a call. I'm the hot bald older daddy. And I'll be upstairs. I was like, that is some nuts that you've got on you. They just impaled Mr. Roper with the talking ball. Yeah. Like who would even, the way, you know, do like the beyond

thingsong says quit silently, okay? Resign it home. Just don't come into what don't do it there Just say cool. I'm gonna go to Dragonstone right now. I'll see you in a little bit And then you're just then you're just gone you just ghost everyone's gone And if anybody finally tracks you down just say I got cast in a dinner theater show in Massachusetts. Yeah. Maybe I'll be back. You say, look, I've been really into making

jams and jellies lately, and I think this is my thing now. So I'm going to move out to the country. I'm about to farm. We don't have any notes. Sorry, I thought it was. I quit by Ravenmail apparently. That was reliable. Ravenmail.

Ravenmail. Ravenmail, by the way way not a reliable male source Okay, I don't think I think that we could do much better than Ravens in this kingdom personally I mean I'm not here with another kind of bird like I would get a dragon put it on a cow The dragons are very busy the dragons are doing nothing right now dry in between Trouble like furniture and Amazon deliver Dragons are doing nothing right now. In between... Dragon Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens.

Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens.

Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens.

Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. Charm Lichens. And that way you can get a whole bunch of letters back and forth. It's got, I'm sure that, I think the drag one actually liked to do it. Be put to use. I mean, yeah, maybe if there was more communication in this kingdom, someone would have come up with kitchen islands. Yeah. Or like tea towels with cute sayings on them. Well, maybe the drag and could have delivered the kitchen island and fish stuff, you know?

So anyway, he's like, okay, behead everybody. And the hot daddy night quits. And he just leaves. And we get a close up of Kristen's face for whatever reason, I guess, because he's still young and hot. We're all supposed to be jealous, what we are.

And Kristen doesn't kill him, but I thought was pretty impressive. I really thought Kristen was just gonna... I thought it was gonna happen. Yeah, I thought so. I can't really understand Kristen's things. Me neither, but good for you, Kristen. I'm like that He's like, you know what? I've already killed one person today I'm just gonna ease away till tomorrow the next day. Yeah

So now we go we see Helena's in her room and she's saying something cryptic she goes It is our fate to crave what is given to another if one possesses a thing the other will take it away Well, I feel like this is not what Helena's most insightful. It's like, oh, so it's called the Grass is Always Greener and it's also a Broadway song. So we'll look into that. Yeah, sometimes Helena comes up with really smart things, like stop signs, fluorescent lights, intubes,

that last forever. You know what, and then? Cost the spigots. Then suddenly somebody invents like, yeah, stop signs and fluorescent tubes and I'm like, oh my God, Helena's magic. But right now she's like, people are jealous. Since suddenly somebody invents like, yeah, stop signs and fluorescent tubes. And I'm like, oh my god, hell no, it's magic. But right now, she's like, people at Jalice. I know, I'm like, is it your day off? Yeah, I feel like you have better insight.

Are you eating red M&M's, like any red dye in your food? Like your brain is dulling. And then the maid goes, yes, princess, that poor maid haven't to agree to that with Helena. You know that that's- Or I didn't figure out what the fuck she's talking about. And it gets bad in the domain, you know. And you know that I didn't figure out what the fuck she's talking about You know that main has that moment where she's just walking along and she's like oh my god, that's what she meant

That look at that horse just stopping for no reason just because there's a red It's just that's a sign of stop. They call it a sign of stop. Did you not see, did you not observe the sign of stop? So then the queen walks in and she's like, where is Agot and Otto is like, he is not in his rooms, cause they love to pluralize rooms and apartments. And so. Yeah, it's like just in case we forgot

that we all have privilege. He's not in his rooms or his mom or his Starbucks. Did you check his masturbation windows? No one's not in his room, or his mall, or his Starbucks. Did you check his masturbation windows? No one's walked in, wiping their eyes, so. So then Helena, she's like embroidering something, because she's bored, and she's like, what happened? And then the, then Alson's like, well, your father. And Helena goes, there's a beast beneath the boards.

So now, of course, I'm spending the rest of the episode one, you know, thinking like, there's a beast beneath the board. And she gets real defensive, right? Cause I think her mom's like, honey, and she's like, oh, there's a beast beneath the board. Oh yeah, and fucking,

by the way, she said that last episode too. So she, they're really being like, hey guys, there's a beast beneath the board. They have to like we call them like, oh, it's so obvious, but we never know. I mean, I don't know until I read comments on things that she's been calling this shit the whole time. But now the first week I was like, shut up. I still like that. What kind of conversation will this to you? I don't even know what you're talking about. Have you seen a movie lately?

What did you think of Halloween ends, okay? Have about also, don't speak in metaphor. Just say, hey, by the way, there's a dragon that's under, you know, on the floor. It's gonna come bursting out, just so you know. And then Aimen comes in all. And of course, that's his big move to walk in and stare at something.

Yeah, I was like, did you just have lunch with Jeff Goldblum? Laurie Dern. What has gone with? Why are you so intense today? Like, can we just have one normal lunch where you're not walking in all? He's like, well, let me tell you something. Drop off was terrible today. Reese Witherspoon, I swear to God, if I get stuck behind our car again, it's like, okay, come on, we need to come back out of big little lies.

Come back to house the dragon. So then we see Sir Eric cleaning his sword with his little man bun. And auto comes in and he's like, Sir Eric was the prince. He's like, how shall I know? You know, he exploits his authority. He just leaves secretly with the fuck of my supposed to do. He's my boss. You know, I never thought I'd be terrified of Christina Ricci with a bleach blonde hair,

but here we fucking are. He's like, well, go find him. Take no one else but your brother, also named Eric. No, that's Eric. Eric. Eric, what did I say? Eric, you said Eric. You said Eric, but it's Eric.

But that's what I said. No, no, it's Eric. I will not suffer. You shall not beg of me with your own names. I just want, but it's Eric and Eric, just so you know. Yeah. Eric and Eric, that's what I said. No, you said Eric and Eric, that's Eric and Eric. This down, I swear to God.

Like, were you sort of vowels? Like, did no one think to spend some of that money on a vowel? Or just, what I can say is our vowels, right? And A and an E. Can we get like a consonant? Can we have like an Eric and Derek at least? So you're fucking lazy parents.

You know, and I hate calling people lazy because having twins is way harder, right? Cause you have to do like two childbirths. And especially in these times, cause childbirth not fun, right? So you're having cheese, so were you just too tired? Like were you too tired to come up with anything else? I would have named him Eric.

Okay, well there's another one. so what do you want to name him? Eric. But you name the other one, Eric. No, just put an A at the beginning. I really need to sleep now. I've just pushed two watermelons out, all right? You know, how easy were they spent their entire time in my stomach, figuring out how to put the hair into a tiny little bun on top of their head?

I think the new rule in West Rose is that if someone is really fatigued, slash dying, don't be, don't really listen to what they say. Because the king did this and now we have a war. And now you have Eric and Eric's mom, who's like, they probably should circle back the next day when she was like, you know what, actually I was thinking,

Simon and Robert, can we do that? No, it's too late, you said it was an airy. We literally had to chisel it into stone. It didn't, it's chisel, it's chisel, we can't. It cost you 30 more dockets for a new niche. I mean, it was so big, we actually had to have the drag and to deliver that one. We actually, we were gonna bring you another stone

in case you wanted to change those names. But unfortunately, the stone deliver was run over at a sign of stop. So then, um, Ray Nees is, oh, sorry, Ardo is like, well, go find him. Go find that little masturbator. We need him. And listen, remove your white clothes. We don't need it.

You know, no one else in town's got white clothes. I'll tell you that. You've seen this town, it's disgusting. Here's what you do. Here's what you do. Put on hoods because that way you'll be disguised. By the way, the only people in the city who wear hoods are people from the people from the castle

who are pretend to be commoners. At some point, you know all the commoners are like, oh, there's someone else. The commers that starts raining and they don't even pull up their head. Like never even thought too. So yeah, he's like, go find him and bring him to me, not to the queen. And I was wondering, why? I guess like you're gonna, I guess maybe he's afraid the queen's gonna be like, you don't need to be the King, I mean, I don't know. I don't want my Rated Eye so you shouldn't be the King. Yeah, I'm so little unclear about this because that's like becomes the storyline

for the next big chunk of the episode. It is the dueling search parties and I kind of felt like the writers were like, ah, we gotta fill out this episode. So let's just do this. The first one to give Agon a bet talk is who he's gonna listen to. I was like, God is, I don't really that weak mind him.

But I guess so, you know? So now we see Rene's in bed and they've locked her in her room and so she's really mad. She's like sucking the her, I was like, we're streaming her, what's this, I mean, I'm just eating her.

And then she's throws up in her indoor window, you know, like it's a Marriott, you know, this like Marriott. What's it like? I'm just kidding over there. And then she throws up in her indoor window. You know, like it's a Marriott. You know, this is like Marriott. Yeah. Was it a set that? Like a courted or a set? Yeah, were you like filling up in your window

but you're still inside but you all have windows. You can look down at the lobby. Anyway, all the people are like in the walking down the stairs and it turns out they're all getting herded into a cell, even gossip made. Talia. Talia, I noticed that.

Yeah. She's like, I have a Pechmina photo to soon. She's like, God, God. And then Laura's standing outside the gate, just doing his lowest thing, basically like, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. So. Oh, he's so gross. Like, he stands right by the cell

and he's just looking at everyone like, mm, mm. Yeah. So then, I guess he's maybe gonna convert them all into his army of Tuneless killers so one one hopes so Christian then Now Christian is walking around and he's he's going and he says that Prince Aiman doesn't eat I think this is he goes up to the Queen and he's like Prince Aiman's missing right and your father by the way your father sent sir Eric to find Eric Oh Eric my name is Eric. Yeah, well the queen doesn't know we found out last week the queen doesn't know She's like hi Eric. It's like my name is Eric. She's like Okay

I knew someone named nom and spelled NOAM and I would be like, oh hey, Noam, or anytime I said his name, my friend, oh, her birthday was this weekend, I forgot to say happy birthday. But anyway, she would always go, it's not Noam, it's Noam. I was like, excuse me. She's like, I'm not a statue in a garden, okay? I'm like the act of understanding somebody. Yeah, I always love that story. Great story for everyone to listen to. So, the old known story. I'm recording again.

Yeah, let's do it. Oh, man, too bad. This is the one that didn't get killed in the faulty recording. Shut up. So, uh, yeah, so she's like, Oh my God, you must find Ekon. He's missing. And if the King talks to him first, then King's gonna talk him into things,

but I need to talk him into things. Alright, the fate of the Seven King Dams, Jep ends on it. Everything you feel for me, donk! It's like his banner hitting up against his arm, I'm just like, not like that, as your queen. He's like, donk, donk, damn it. Sorry, I'll just take a moment. For whatever reason, I've started with an 18-year-old penis and I'm going to end this fucking show with an 18-year-old penis.

That's just what's going to happen. Alright, I'll try to ignore it. I guess what she wants is that she wants to get to Aegon first to plead her case that Reneira should not be killed, but it's not totally clear at this point. Maybe, or maybe she's afraid the king is gonna kill him to put... Eh, a mandin. A mandin? There could be that.

Or maybe she's like, hi, honestly, I just want to be able to style your hair just a little bit before you appear on stage before the entire thing. I just want to remind him that masturbating on top of people's heads isn't nice before he actually has the power to just stand there and do it on everybody from any window he wants. So Amin is gonna go with him because he knows, you know, Sir Eric isn't the only one who knows Aegon's Cummings and Goings. Literally. Literally.

Literally. So now we have... Because it's Game of Thrones, so where else is he gonna be? He's gonna be getting his dick sucked somewhere. Yeah. I mean, that's just, I mean, whether it's Game of Thrones or like real-life mayor's offices, you know what's gonna happen. If a man is missing, he's getting his dick sucked somewhere. Because that's all you do outside of...

There's like no Dave and Buster's in King's Landing. Like, there's nothing to do at all. That's what I'm saying. God, there's probably a Dave and a Buster. David and Bustereth. Or a Dave and Dave. There's probably a Dave Busting somewhere with usually a pillow house. Dave and Dave's.

So, so anyway, so they're one. That's where Buster came from. Dave and Buster's came from. It's like your friend who just plays video games, but it also just needs to best in head all the time. They're like, David and Buster it. So um... Steve Olnith.

Now it's morning and Amand is talking to Kristen. Okay so now we get this thing. So Amand and Kristen are a search party and basically Amand has been raised by Kristen right? Because his dad was up there with Holen as cheek. Like his dad didn't do shit. Yeah. So I guess Kristen's like his dad. And his father figures.

He's very like your dad walking through the streets. Like let's be inconspicuous. And he's like I'm gonna wear the dumbest hat I can. He's wearing like a such a dad. It's like, yeah, it's like the dad trying to be really cool but he's still wearing his like golf polo shirt. That's shiny, you know? He's like yeah, it's cool. It's like cool to be the be really cool, but he's still wearing his like golf polo shirt that's shiny, you know? He's like, yeah, it's cool.

I'm so excited. It's like cool to be the bar. You're so embarrassing. He's like, oh, I'll walk on the other side of you, the eye patch side. You don't have to look at my hat, but I'm wearing this hat, right? Look, the flaps come down, if my ears get cold.

It's like, there, oh. So they go and they find a matem, who may or may not have been played by Barbara from Real Housewives of New York. And they're like one lady who plays the Madam in literally every show from the medieval times. She just comes out with her big blessed. She's always leaning on something.

Oh, it's like, yeah, what's you got? That's it. And well, actually, also, we have to talk about how dumb Kristen Cool is because Aegon says, as the approacher, he's like, I'm sorry, Aiman says, well, Aegon brought me to the street of silica on my 13th name day. It's his duty as my brother, he said to ensure I was as educated as he was. And Kohl goes, I don't follow. I mean, he was never given the raise because he's bright, you know.

As that amen goes, he said it was time to get it wet. He's a ghost like, we're talking about sponge. We're talking about sponges. You need to learn about sponges to get them wet, to get them to the squee the retain water. Oh, it's like this is that he just basically said, I'll teach you what told to stick it in. And I was it.

And I'm making a nicer speech in my head. And Christian goes, every child is a mirror of their mother. To be spoken of with reverence. Okay, Ed. I don't want to hear it from you, sir. You're the one who bedshroffed like a 14-year-old girl. Who you were working for. Yes, but leave it up to Kristen to be like, you're talking about me, you're talking about my mother. You want to fight? Yeah, shut up. Yeah. So anyway, they start talking to this lady,

lady of the night that is, and they're like, you know, he's like, has Prince Aimein. And he has, well, I'm looking for Prince Aimein, you know, and this is a discrete matter, and she's like, well, he's not here. Okay, yeah, he's like, we've missed place to drink in the companion. Mm.

And she's like, I don't know, I don't know, I was fucking Prince Aimein, right? And she's like I don't know what fucking prince egg on and Shaky's not here. I mean he was here years ago, okay? Well some guy missing an eye but not the one I like thank God he had that extra one I Sneaked down there, you know what I'm saying? There's more than one see snake. All right, you got me. But not more recently, I don't know what part of he was here many years ago says more recently he was here, okay? He does not frequent, and I will say the quint part

of frequent in a strange way to emphasize it. He doesn't frequent the street of silk. His tastes are known to be a little less discriminating. If you know what um truck stops no no you're trying to stop you there David the shops don't know shops what are the ends of you fucking down that shop he stick his penis into it it's a hole isn't it Joe what Joanne's fabrics maybe goes and feels

lost around the penis in selling alleys bowling alleys three holes I'm just like I ain't all right. He's a real sick shit. All right. Just go right go find the sickest shit You can imagine that's him right there and then she gives a little then she looks up at you know Aegon and she's like wow You've grown all she's basically like yeah, he's like traumatized from like childhood, you know, sex with these crazies and saying, you're still looking good, tuts. And he's like, you know, so then we go over to Otis

and he's like, who's he talking to? Otis talking to all of us. Oh, he's talking to, he's talking to, but he has a bunch of like lords and heads of households and stuff. There's like, oh, this is like 20, yeah, 20 or 30, like, people that are there. And he's sitting in the throne, of course, just make yourself fucking comfortable. And he's like, Viserys, I'm mended his wishes. And you all want to swore your baddest terrain era, but you must now pledge to the future king.

And most people are just a bunch of fucking weaklings. Right. And anybody with a Twitter account can understand. You know the second you hear one thing, you're like, okay, I believe that now. So they're like, all right, just don't behead me. Right. No one's seen Beasel Roper.

So I'm just gonna go ahead and kneel here, just in case anybody tries to put a talking ball through my temple. It's a very Putin-esque moment. And so, Bansi, bunch ahead and kneel here just in case anybody tries to be talking ball through my temple It's a very potent-esque moment and so basically a bunch of them kneel down, but then there's some who are Not you know, they're they're gonna hold on to their morals So one guy just like tries to leave and he's like I got a friendly guy with like the my suits like the good tailoring the ball guy He's always like, hello, let me know anything I can do tell a few princess Tayloring the bald guy who's always like, hello, let me know anything I can do to help you princess. Right, and so he's like, well, I gotta talk to my family.

And then, but of course, Otto's like, well, unfortunately, you can't quite leave this room until he make a decision and there's only one right answer. And then there's an old man, he's like, I am no old spray car, I will not bend the knee, I'm older than all of you and everyone there's just like Pull the plug I think that was an older older lady actually I think she was two I think they were together oh Were they together yeah, I don't know. I don't want to assume just because they're of the same age Rings that they're together. That's annoying. But they acted like they were together. Well either way They should just been like yeah, sure, totally I'm down for this. I love the idea of Christina Ricci as my king.

Totally fine with it, I'm down. And then like, go home. She's like, yeah. She's like, whos fell? She's like, whos fell? Oh, house fell keeps it swan. Oh, I'm like, your name is foul? That's not good karma right now.

You don't need to be lady from the house Fel. You're about to fall. You're in house Fel? You're in danger girl. Yeah, you're in danger. So then there's this one guy, this bald guy who's really reluctant and he's like, ah, ah, okay, so he, he, he, that's the way.

Because he loves a princess. Remember, he was the one who was in the hallway when she was like dragging herself from the child birthbirth and it's like anything I can do for you You're right. I'm over the floor right now. Just drop some after birth right there And he's like you look great. You still look great. Don't worry about it. I was wondering why I knew him Yeah, I mean I'm like In those episodes the first couple he was in he he had the best tailoring, the best outfit.

I mean, he just looks so sharp. I remember being so impressed with his King Dimmer's town or whatever. But you never get to change your clothes apparently on this show because he's still in that same thing and out's all dusty. I'm like, you don't have anybody to help you get a new outfit. It's like you get one nice jacket and everyone's like, you look so good today at this nice event. Actually, your 40s, you're in the same damage. Everybody who dies, you show up to the same thing and the same jacket, no matter how bad you've gotten, it's just like a little sausage casing of a mens warehouse piece of crap jacket

you got in the eighth grade. And you know he didn't even want to be there. I mean, don't forget the reason why these lords are all there is because they had to come in to discuss who is gonna get Driftmark. That's why everyone is there. I mean, what a, you know that he was like, I'm sorry, I wish I could stay around for the family barbecue, but unfortunately I've got to go into King's Landing to talk about Driftmark. Like Driftmark, the place with the old wooden Adirondak

chair that broke off 20 years ago, they love so much. Yes, we have to talk about it, but don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow. And now he's dead. Now he's gonna be dead. Yeah. So anyway, the auto's like, everybody better promise. And the ones who don't, basically scares the shit out of that guy. And he finally bows.

And he's like, long live the king, I guess. Yeah. And then, Larris is watching me. And he's like, mm-hmm, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyrical, lyr. And then we see the man bun twins, finding this building where they hear cheering coming from. So they go in and these little abused children are being forced to fight. I mean, what the hell?

I know, and they're like, it's like a vicious, like you don't really see much, you see kids swinging, but you hear sounds like, and then we find out that they have like long nails and they're are found on, they're just like little vicious monsters. And so yeah, the twins are there and like, what's going on? And man, bun two's like, this has been going on many years, Eric is like, oh no, Eric and he goes, yes, they found out their teeth, sharpen their nails, makes them more formidable. Egg on spins many in the eye here. Do you see now what he is?

Yes, he's a waste of time because you could have those children putting together some iPads. Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say growing your nails and following your teeth is actually also how you get on the real housewives of Orange County.

Well, yeah, because now you get your nails real sharp like that. And then you have to get your teeth made into little stumps to get your, your, your, press not prosthetic. So do you call those your, your veneers? Yeah, your veneers put on. So, and then be also sure on your way, kids. Don't, don't fret. And about 35 to 40 years, you're going to be holding an orange in front of a house that looks like a strut. So then, but we also see like a little blonde child which we are to believe is a bastard Targaryen child from him. But are we also to believe a little bit, is there a suggestion of pedophilia happening

here or? No, he's saying, he points it in one air, it's like, is that he gone? And he's like, yes, one of many I'd wager. So I think he's he came up just going and knocking everybody up and then they're taking their babies and just throwing them in and he's like, he's supporting also a terrible industry in West Rose of little child fighting. Yeah, to show just how shitty he is and why he's totally not going to be a good king. Yeah. So anyway, now, um, not also now the bald guy, but he was why he's totally not gonna be a good king. Yeah, so anyway now Not also now the bald guy, but he was he's a child who was just

Born to fight to and where's eating care about so I guess that's why he's made his children because you know what it all starts at home Cut to Helena saying hurt people hurt people Come on Helena do better. I have a dishwasher. It's my bed. Need to work on that one. To work on that one. So now the guy who liked the bald guy who loves Reneira and was like reluctant to bend the knee.

Now he's like, decided he wants to leave the castle and he's all nervous. So you know, he's gonna die because he's nervous and trying to leave the castle. So we see him trying to leave and everything's being, now we have another one of the classic, back and forth thing, so he's in the process of leaving, but he hasn't left yet,

he's just seeing him starting the process. And then we go back into the city. And Amon's like, here I am trolling the city for some idiot who doesn't want power and then here I am learning 20 languages, learning to sword, giving up eyes eyes writing the biggest dragon in the world I mean are they gonna ask me you know no one else can hit the high notes in respect at karaoke me that's me You can do that anyone asking me and

Christians like I know how it feels to toil for it others are freely given oh for it others are freely given. Oh fuck are you talking about? You gotta raise cause you fact somebody. Okay, and then you got another raise because you give like I will fuck you eyes to that person. You literally fell upwards and you kill, you committed a hate crime. I would like to add and now you're gonna complain

that other people get things. It's for me. Oh, but I mean I'm grist and go. I don't hinge. He's like shaking his hair around. I know it's like to hurt So amen, you know bitter amen. He's like he's like well We can't find him and we are decent men with no taste for the property. LOL He's his secrets are his own and he's welcome to them

But I'm next in line for the throne. Should they come looking for me? I intend to be found I am, boys. Here I am, boys. So then we go back to the guy looking towards the gate. Like, let's see, how can I get out of here? Maybe if I just move very quickly with my horse, maybe I'll dress. I'll put it on a course at first. I'll put a course on the horse. Look at that. What are you taking your time? Right? I know. It's like, how can I leave here discreetly? I know I will stand in a courtyard for 10 minutes. And then wait. And then I'm waiting. I'm waiting for it to wear like this. Like. So, um, so now Eric and Eric. Also, what are you doing trying to leave through the courtyard?

It's a castle. Go around trying to move portraits, just see if you can open it. Look behind couches. That's where all the hidden doors are in this house. Yeah, it's a terrible fun sway. Okay, just move a couch. There are so many secret alleyways in this castle. The mid-air.

Just be like, you know what I could use. Some unseasoned pig that hasn't been skinned yet. I think I'll go to the kitchen and run my kale, run out the delivery door. I mean, come on. Also, did you not forget the first rule of sneaking out of a castle? Put on a hood.

If you put on a hood, no one sees you. Okay. People are like, oh, look at that shadow, that human-shaped shadow, that's just a shadow and not a human walking out of the castle right now. I really wanted him to live He was too nice I knew when he was nice to right near on the hallway when she's like stumbling down the hallway And he's like anything I can do to help Pretty good. Yeah, he's dead. You know those guys never make it never ever make it so now the so Eric and Eric are talking about like

Amen and they're like oh god. He he's like... Something must be done. He's not fit to rule. Oh, child, come here. Could you get me a pinacolada? That would be great. And so, a girl comes up and she's like, I may have been tough your time.

And he's like, we don't want your waas. And she's like, well, I can take her to Prince Aegon. Rather, I'm sent by a one who knows where he is, who will tell you for a price. You're going up to two fuck boys with man buns

and asking them for money. That ain't gonna happen. They never have money. Yeah. They're looking for somebody with money. You understand? Right. And so then they're like, well, how about you bring them here

and then we'll talk about a price. And she's like, excuse me, but you guys are servants. Okay, my mistress is not gonna deal with servants of the keep. Okay, exalted, though they may be. So she'll trust this with a hand of the king only. And so her name is the white worm. Mm-hmm.

And they're like, ooh. Oh, so then the gates are opening for the Baldy and Black. 30 minutes later, they're just casually like, look at me. I'm getting on a horse. We're both in cosets. I've got my head polished and we're ready to go. And he finally is like confidently making it out there. And then all the night guards are like, LOL, still bad.

And when I pull him off the horse. And Laura says like, he call them off the horse. And Laura says like, he was fleeing for the gate. A warning for Princess Oddweja. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, baby, there is no princess. I don't even know what the princess is the best Aegon Aegon is the best Aegon Aegon Aegon Aegon Aegon as the science says I ordered every happy male I couldn't tell I got the little figurine of allicence little allicence and others like what I'm a

Let the King's justice take on man. They drag him out. He's just like well Justice take them and they drag him out and he's just like, Oh, don't kill me! You're dead, bye. Got, bye. Bye. You're not chill. You forgot to wear a hood. So, I was like, you did well.

Leris. And Leris is like, only my dude, you. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And I was like, but you've spent many hours with the queen lately. So, Leris basically says, where there's no reason why those hours in the end could not benefit you. So now you're gonna offer to Tatltael. What are you gonna jerk off at his armpit hair? Like what?

What is the answer? Yes. The answer is yes. Think bigger, Laris, okay? So now we go to Allison doing her favorite thing standing by a window being sad. Highly. She does her hands like this like she's you know standing in front of a church a stained glass window being sad. Highestly, she does her hands like this. Like she's standing in front of a stained glass window at church. She loves a window. Yeah, she loves when the light hits her in that. She's always standing right in that ray of sad light. Yeah, she knows her light. Wait, it's my lighting.

Hold on, classed pants. Looks sad, very sad. So she's doing that. And my high hair, the king is being wrapped. Yeah, the sound sisters are wrapping up the king. And then the queen turns around. And she picks up the crown and just puts it on the body. Like, there, I did something.

Like, you know, you're not being helpful right now. Don't think you're getting any sort of credit because you put a crown on an already mummified body. They did all the work. They're like, she actually dropped the crown, and we thought it was so beautiful, we just kept it in. LAUGHTER I think the crangest has a might of its own on her show.

Yeah. So meanwhile, Sarenisa's still stuck in her room. She's like, what is this? I mean, I've tested negative. It's been five days. The quarantine should be over. That's sorry, ma'am. It's not the cove. It's dragon parks. You're gonna have to stay in. God damn it.

Do we have to have all these circuit parties right now? They're like H9 to H191. It's back to. It's like, oh my god. Just fucking kill us all already. Okay. So sticking your toe in the water, grim re god, just fucking kill us all already. Okay, so I'm sticking your toe in the water, grim reaper. Just come on in here. She has dragon flu. What can I say? So she's stuck there. And then so now Allison comes by. Raven flu. I guess that would be the bird through flu, right? That would be the crow flu. Raven flu is also the same as post-op, as flu, apparently. Oh, get it, Raven flu. It's wordplay. We didn't even realize. So let's see. So, Alicent comes to see Reynies,

and Reynies is like, well, I will do you the considerable honor of presuming there's a good reason I'm locked in a room without cable and Allison's like oh my sincere regrets You know flipper flop has offended the kingdom and it has been removed. We're really all about you know, we're going We're cutting the cord here in this castle now, so unfortunately you're just gonna do whatever your your antenna can pick up your antenna can pick up. Rene says, like, damn, Terec Almoson has coke doing crazy ways. I need him in my life. Also, you're us usurping the throne.

Very nice. What am I stupid? What am I dumb? And I also was like, no, believe it or not, that was actually his dying wish. You know, technically his dying wish was sort of like, he said, agon, and then there was a lot of sort of whistling noise, like, shh, cause you know, the chicken all, but you know, when you can sort of get around that sound,

you could say, Aegon should be king. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh Well, that's sweet. It was that sweet. You've imprisoned me to ask me to support you. That's good I'm not quite a Jew for your boldness and she's like listen You've been teaming with Ray Ray. What if you gained everyone's dead? You know you've put in many complaints no one is shown up to fix your chair. All right You still like all these years later and her on back is still fucking broken. All right. Don't you want to be on a winning team? Have you seen one unfixed chair in this entire home? Except the one that probably killed my husband with some terrible blood disease? True, our throne is made of sores that will

PSU and give you an uncurable disease, but at least it's intact, unlike your Adirondack chair. I mean, really, what has this life given you? Yeah, so Rene says Rene says not gonna fall for this This this little model log here and she's basically like But the word of my house is not fickle and so Allison does basically like listen Dear cousin you more than any soul alive should understand what I say now. I love my husband But you should have been queen, such as really trying to target our heartstrings now. And now you say, I mean, what the hell?

Okay? So, yeah, so what you waited all this time to finally say this? Yeah, and she's like, and by the way, we could cut HGTV all the way to your house. That was cable lines running long ago. And she's like, well, right, I guess you are wiser than I thought. She's like, yeah, you can have drift mark. I don't care. Take it.

Look, you're smart, Alison. And she goes, yeah, where the true queen counts the cost to her people. And yet you toil in service to men, Zing, your father, your husband, your perverted, Sarn still got some of his G's in my hair unfortunately Always know which one don't window I'm walking under yeah, Allison's like you know what I care about the people Oh really are you are you handing out free plastic like hair Net that was that people can wear when they visit the fucking castle could you at least build those scaffolding things like they have in New York City

Windows constructions that way nothing falls on any of my heads come on umbrellas I mean things like they have in New York City window constructions that way nothing falls on anyone's heads. Come on. So loud. Umbrella's. I mean. Yeah. So basically Rainier's like James Erin is like, oh, I thought you wanted to sit on that throne, but it seems like you just want to have a window and the prison that you've created for yourself. I was like, burn. And she's like, well, I could help you. If I had the advice of Sir

Tarek Almusa, make a window that actually fit in your jail but since you've taken him from me haven't you imagined yourself on the iron throne and I was like my god I'm gonna cry because I hate to admit that also I thought of it I thought of it and she's like I'll leave you with your thoughts Ring the bell when you have an answer. Hmm. So now back in the street, so now Kristen Cole and Aime and her walking around and they see the hand dressed in a hood because he's out in public talking to Missouri. And I love that Missouri is like, can you have a way where we should talk for this private meeting a food court? I know, it was like a literal food court. Meet me in front of the sabarrows.

Yeah. I do think you should try hot dog on a stick. It sounds cheap, but it's actually quite delicious. The uniforms are crazy though, just so you know. Oh. So, Dylan actually invented it. You know, he just wants sticks with everything. Love to stick.

Have you tried the new chicken Adaboo at Chipotle? It's actually quite delicious. Sure, there's an upcharge, but I'm telling you it's worth it. So, others like, oh, show you're the white world, my take it. Or you're just another peel of this stinking onion. I wouldn't be throwing the stinking around best friend of the king. I know. Yeah. And by the way, it's called a Bloomin' Onion.

And you have one sitting in front of you at the food court, okay? Or, regionally, an awesome blossom. Depending on one part of town you're in. Yeah. So she, you know, now that he's like called her an onion peel, she's like, oh, well my condolences on the passing of your king.

Yeah, I know that. I know that information. Don't fuck with me, old man. Yeah, so know that. I know that information. Don't fuck with me, old man. Yeah. So the old, I mean, not old, but the man button. One of the erics brings over a bag of money. And then the girl who found them in the street starts counting it. Yeah. Love it. She's just like, counting those coins. And so she's like, I thought the prince was in flea bottom. So I put him somewhere safe. He took me away. And I want the end.

Here's what I want in the end of savagious of children. I was like, what's so weird? You're in normal rain for children now? When did this happen? I feel like she just like tumbled out of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and arrived here in Game of Thrones. Like, where did this come from? So when the children, like, post a podcast on the village,

like the children of Westeros, we need to have rights for the children. We need to know more have labor for children. Yeah, she's like, I do not want any more children working. No, I don't want them fighting because they're like to work. It's like, wait. We're standing up for children or not. He's like, I'll look into it. You have my word.

Because when you install your grandson to the throne, remember it was me who put him there and I could have killed him, but there is no power, but what children? That's in long story short, children save the children. Yeah, she's like, I could have killed him as easily as one of Damien's boners, but I did not. He's like, I'll remember forever. This is great favor. Um, she's already like, man band number one and two, both of you, just so one of you doesn't forget, remind me to burn

this bitch's house down in about five minutes. All right Seriously. So now we see Eric and Eric in the camp like that, that room with the candles in it, you know, that they always go down to the prey and stuff. And so they're in there, and then they hear coughing, and it turns out there's Agen under a table. Under a tamp table. So I'm thinking at this moment, oh, is that the beast beneath the boards?

Because he is beast-like in terms of demeanor, and he's under a thing. So I thought, maybe this is the beast beneath the boards? Because he is beast-like in terms of demeanor and he's under a thing. So I thought, maybe this is the beast beneath the board. So I was like trying to find meaning. Yeah, I don't really try to find. I'm not a good guesser, so I just wait to see. Yeah, I don't, but this isn't the kind of Mr. ASL. Now, if this was a lawn order,

I would have guessed 10 times already. But beast beneath the board, like I literally don't care. It's like a crossword puzzle, don't understand it. We'll never understand it, excepted that I don't understand it. Switched to the funnies. So, yeah, so they hear coughing and it's wussy egg on, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's the white worm, where's the white worm? And they're like, she sold you for a price. Yeah, so he was basically hiding out.

And so he wanted to get, I think he wanted to escape. Under a table. I mean, he's like, you paid me money. I would hide you. I would hide you real good. Under a table. You're, we're gonna hide you in a table. Under a table, like...

You would be under the omelet buffet. Okay. You're gonna hide you in a table under a table like You would be under the omelette buffet. Okay, and all you have to do is not cough so Basically they say he's like I'm on talk to my mom so the twins take him out of this this place and Guess what of course Eric wants him dead. He's like kill him because otherwise he's gonna ruin the whole country right kill his ass and then the other bun is like, nah, I'm tired. Why do we have to pick sides? I'm exhausted. Well, guess what? You're gonna be dead soon because of this kid. So enjoy. I know how Game of Thrones works. There was only gonna be one man bun left standing. Yeah. Only one man bun. So there's Kristen Cole and Aymond are waiting for them because they get they trail them because they were watching the food court or whatever. Like honestly

they're the same time. Yeah, the logistics of this entire like mini story about going out into the world don't quite make sense. But they are there and then it becomes basically a sword fight because now Kristen Cole, he takes out his sword. It's another one of the sword. He's there. You're like, I got a sword, you got a sword. And they're gonna like sword fight, right? And one Eric is like, I'll fight you for this.

I'm gonna fight for human rights and children decency. And then other manbunns like, oh watch. I mean, I'll just watch for you. You're just like, I don't, yes, that is my twin brother. We were raised together and we have our own special twin language, but I'm not gonna defend him. There's a new Eric and sound. It's like, I'm finally gonna be the only Eric, you know.

I'm gonna get both stockings at Christmas, bitch. I don't have to keep correcting people. When they say Eric, I'll be like, yes, Eric, you know? Yes. So there's like, You can pronounce it however you want, Eric or Eric, really anyway, works for me. Whatever makes you happy, you know?

So there's sword fighting and then, Aiman, like, Aiman tries to, well, he runs away because like punches one of the Eric's. He's like, I was like, wow, you guys are great guards that this, this puts can like elbow you in the stomach and run away. No wonder why he's always able to get to the Street of Silk. So he runs away, then Aiman tackles Aiman. So there's the brothers are fighting,

and then Kristen and one of the twins are fighting, and there's a whole lot of stuff happening. The Aiman gets him, and he's like, I was hoping you'd disappear it for good. And Eggom's like, it's dad really dad. He's like, yes, and now you're gonna be king. So I hope you're happy. And then Eggom spits in his one good eye.

Like, thanks a lot, dude. You know, so they hate each other, but Aiman just holds his face and looks deeply into it. And with this family, you never know what happens. Cause getting a spit in the face could be romantic. I mean, I'm not gonna kink shame anybody. Right. And I mean, basically, Aegon just wants to get on a ship

and sail away, like Enya, but, you know, that's not his lot in life at the moment. Yeah. So then we go, then back in the castle, Alton goes up to Otto and she's like, well, played. And, oh no, I'm sorry, he says well played. And she's like, this isn't a game. He's like well played and oh no I'm sorry he says well played She's like oh tiny scroll to he's like oh tiny scroll He's like

Sealed it so she comes in and she is like well played my dear and she's like this is not a gang And he's like oh, but it is you treated this one a charming contest the price of a pouch of silver We've relied on each other so much. It's the good of the family. A heart must remain as one. She's like, okay, tricky scroll. I'm not believing in any of this. Maybe a little tiny. You think I don't see you holding your little tiny scroll. And she's like, well, guess what? The script wants me to be upset right now, so I will be. I have a hotspun never won, because I spoke to Rene right now, so I will be our hotsworn never one because I spoke to Rene's and now I feel a little bit more empowered but not a lot

more but just a little bit. So I see that now and rather I was just a piece that you moved about on a board. I mean, didn't you realize that? You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. You're born an old person just so you would be the queen like what did you think what about did you not realize was a very blatant scheme for crying out loud Okay, also you've been the one giving him so much ammo with the whole oh she's cheating those aren't her children blah blah blah so stop crossed up your crying out of sense okay I'm not buying any of this. She out from you.

So he's like, listen, all I did was make a sacrifice. It's made for the stability of the realm. All right, so a few beheadings of children and your best friend. Big deal sacrifice. Yeah, and she's basically like, excuse me, reluctance to murder is not a weekend weakness, okay? And she's like, I have a gun.

I found them. It was me, it was my people who found them. And we're gonna proceed now as I see fit. So she basically is very happy because she feels, she's basically flexing on her dad right now. Like my search party won this whole thing, you know? She also feels like she can take over now because she has a gun, which I don't know. but she's like send a message to Dragonstone and tell

her we're making a deal. All right, we're gonna make a deal with Ray Ray and she can accept it so that she can live and he's like, oh my god, you can't, you can't let her live. All right, we've got to kill her. Because she's like, well, because my husband would have wanted mercy for his daughter and then he goes your husband or you his daughter's childhood companion I'm like, what about both like is that like so wrong? Why not be hooked? Yeah, he's like, oh no, it's habits because you were friends with her. It's like, okay, that also is I get a great reason why the game of thrones Yeah, she's like, well, a Christian call will be named commander of the Kings God

Which means that he can now care with the punty. I think, uh, hasn't he already been doing that? Well, still, still. And no more dithering. My son will take the title of his name's like tomorrow morning. Everyone's getting up again. It's basically like day life savings, or it just can drag people out of the bed.

And, and then he's like, by the way, you look so much like your mother in certain lives. She's like, huh? Because I like stop flirting with me. Alright? This isn't a target in that episode. Alright. So now she goes off to another room and she pours herself a drink and Larus is sitting there.

Oh, let creepy Larus just letting himself into your apartment. Oh, yeah, so gross. And he's like, oh, boy. And she's like, oh God, the hour is great. Larry is some getting seasonal depression from having to wake up an hour earlier every day. No one will like, ever since my nurse made Tarnia went missing,

people aren't lighting candles and windows anymore. So dark in here, I'm just sleepy all the time I can't even Monica even is it? The big gift day or the socks day. Do you have a dreaded with you or not? Come on So basically he's he he goes he's basically saying like have you asked yourself? America's first he goes I found something you should know. And she's like, what? And he just looks at her creepily.

It's like, what? Creepy look. She's like, so she takes off her shoes and she puts her feet on the table. And I was like, what the hell is going on? Yeah, at first I didn't realize I was like, well, she's awfully casual. Yeah. And she just like slams him up there. Like she's all upset.

And so he's like, what? And he just stares at him. And he's like, hold on on let me drag my own foot he drags his like club foot over and sits on the couch and he's like well you asked yourself how it is that your father the hand found a gone first daughter the foot hmm and she's like oh god right, I'm gonna have to do a whole toast show. She's like this little piggy went to market. He's like, oh yeah, oh.

Yes, I love it when you do it with the nursery rhyme. So yeah, he's basically says that there's like a web of spy. Well, he goes, well, instead of just saying, hey, by the way, there's a spy network. And like if you want to, you should kill the head of the spy network. Instead, he says, there's a web of spies that work at the Red Keep.

And along its threads travel, news of all our doing and your father knows this, he was left, he left it in place more than once. He just, just say it was a web of spies. You don't have to go on and on about, you know, the weaver and the web and the threads. Yes. And he's just staring at her feet before she gives them more. So she's like, he says, it's proved advantageous for those who wish to feel the weaver. She's like, what the fuck does fake the weave for me? Alright? What are you, Hannah Bell?

What's my daughter's name? Hannah, Halleux. Halleux, Halleux. What are you, Halleux? What are you, Halleux? She's not a role-playing right now. The fuck are you talking about? And he's like, I couldn't tell you, but I knew that.

What did the other picky do? She's like, the second little picky went home Like always does every time and do it. Oh, yeah And so then he's like one of the little spiders is your lady In waiting she's like Talia. She's like the fucking Instagram model. Are you kidding? She walks around here Up and down the stairs in plastic slippers trying to get the perfect light alright that idiot is one of the gossips the one who's literally taking selfies on her scroll by those candles she's incestly lighting all the time in the window he's like yes and more like her even though I do not know that number there is one way to take away this advantage

It must be taking away the Pinky to oh That doesn't even make sense Couldn't take off the stocking at two Fine And then he goes when the queen, the bees fly without purpose. I'm like, are you talking about spiders or bees right now? You gotta keep your metaphor like a little bit more.

Yeah, it really does. Like keep it like, you gotta, keep it with one insect or arachnid, okay? He's like sorry for the gen of phrase. And she's like, well, I assume this task falls within your expertise and he's like, if you wish, and then he just stares at her feet. So finally she just like throws her legs up on the couch and puts her legs up with her bare feet and looks away.

Like, oh Jesus, and he just jerks off under his pants. Ew, there he is. There he is. What the hell? And also why do they have to disparage evil people on this show? Some of us are normal people. We enjoy shopping coffees every day Why do you have to make us like masterbators? You know

What the hell? Just for evil characters. Yeah, so now we have a moment is sort of a We don't really get this a lot in this show, but we get a Pensive montage of characters thinking about things and so it's like Aegon's eating food, but he's like sad Like a pig. I like when they when they're like he's a horrible person look how he eats and he's like Terrible King and then it like crossed his alves into like Allison thinking about things and then to Amon and then to Rene It's just like every which is like look at all the things that are people are thinking about things and then to amand and then to runny It's just like every which is like look at all the things that are people are thinking about things. Yes So after the way after the way and man bone comes in and who does he come though?

Rainies he used to rainies his room and he's like with me princess I cannot let this treachery stand. How does my bun look? She's like fairly clean impressive this treachery stand, how does my bun look? She's like fairly clean, impressive, impressively clean. And I was thinking to myself, gosh, it's been a long time since this show has ushered someone into the public in a hood. It's been like at least like 10 minutes.

No one will suspect a thing. So they walk through the castle and they walk through the dragon's school room, the candle, the dead people room, whatever that is. And by the way, I love Rene's. But she has to, she needs a little bit more urgency because they're sneaking out of the castle and she keeps stopping to look at things. First, there's like the dead, the bald guy who's now hanging in the courtyard as a sign. So she stops to look and then they walk by things like a dragon's dad, the big dragon's dad.

She stops to look, Renees, you are a prisoner right now. This is not okay. What you can do at the museum. Yeah, this is, you're not here to draw or to sketches of what you've seen. Get those knees up. Come on, walk. So, she's like, I can't believe my dragon.

And he's like, you're gonna die, okay? So, I'm gonna get you past the gate. I'm gonna get you on a boat, which no one ever expects people to escape on boats, even though literally everybody does all the time on this show. No one has ever thought to put guards in the beach, but we're gonna get you on a boat, okay. And so they're walking through these narrow streets and everything she's in her hood.

And, but then there's then while they're doing that, then obviously a different hooded person who's walking away from a flaming building. They've set Miss Aureus, it's not a whorehouse, right? I mean, more it's just her house then, right? Yeah, I think it's just a standard place of business for a former prostitute. Yeah, they burn it down.

Yeah, they burn it down. So then we see the girl being scrawled, being opened formally and laid out. It's written in beautiful serial killer tiny method letters and tea being pulled in a crown being put on a pillow. Yeah, it drops to the floor. That was a great moment of a spontaneity. Okay, that's going into show. That's going in the final cut. So anyway, while Rainey's trying to get to the docks through these narrow-ass streets, the guards are in town horse on horseback and they're rallying.

They're gathering all the people, all the poor. And they're just shuffling them. And that's just, I guess that's why he had such small alleyways back then, you can just show people and shove them down the hallways of the city. Yeah, and so this is a very classic game of thrones thing. Like I feel like we saw Ares Dark go through this, like literally every episode was her being like in a hood,

being sort of like separated from something, being sent down a path with the poor. That's a lot of stuff. Yeah, you know, this is what always happens. So Rene says being sent down with all the poor's. And then we get separated from her night. Right. So should we see the carriage, the fancy king carriage

going through the streets, and Egon's inside looking like Angelina Jolie on the way to the rehab house, like sitting at her parents car like seriously You know during that heroin movie or whatever that rehab me So then um Allyson is like you need to be grateful. Do you know what's being done? And then how are you'll be king and he's like I'm dead. He never wanted this man. I was like drop it. I know

You're already one most of us have to kiss our dads asked get what we want And you were just he didn't even like you and you're still gonna get it Yeah, and she's like oh well your dad changed his mind and he's like oh well He oh he could have but he never did because he never liked he's doing the whole like teenage thing He never liked me, etc. etc. It's like no he changed his mind He said that one time the bold knight was coming through, something got on his head. Before you knew it, he grew up ponytail

right from the center of his head. He was the first miracle worker to ever do it. Your seed is strong. So then she opens up a case and shows, was it a black fire, the sword, or the dagger, or whatever. And he's like, don't toy with me, mother. She's like listen to me, Aegon your grandfather the hand Will try to impress on you that Reneer should be put to the sword you must reject his counsel You must not rule with cruelty for all her faults. She is your sister. I think she's your sister

Our family tree is very terrible sister your father point. She's your sister, your father's daughter, your cousin's fuck baddie, your other cousin's wife, your, she's someone's pet. Actually, she's actually someone's pet. She's a swim teacher to the knitter down the road. I mean, this family is very tacked. We've kind of given up on a family tree.

It's more like a family tumbleweed at this point. Family lattice, really, display. So by the way, when they showed this sword, I was like, oh, what's gonna happen is, Aegon is gonna be like crowned king, and then he's gonna like slutist the rope. That's what I am nearly. I thought that too, actually.

Yeah, that's my, my, my, my, because they were really, yeah, he's got like the dark circles under his eyes and he's despondent he's mad but no he's actually just a little boy he loves a new toy he looks at the knife and he's like fuck yeah I get back knives yeah something made that with health do I get and then he's like do you love me and you're so you in the cell so yeah the chair. That's how we say, I love you to my family. That worked for me. So, okay, so now, all the pours are being sent into

this giant space. It's like the town hall, but it's like for the entire city. It's like the city hall. It's just like a giant, it's an event space. They hold the brand. It's like the Java center of King Kong. The Java, it's like, yeah, it's like event space. They hold it back in there. Yeah, it's like the Javits center of King Kins. The Javits, it's like, yeah, it's like where they had Bravo con this weekend.

So they bring them there. Everyone's excited. They think there would be like new cars that they get to see because they think it's the auto show. They're waiting for like free things to be packed. Like we're being sponsored by Lies. Everyone gets some chips. They're excited for a swag bag.

And so, you know, okay, cool. But it's not that at all So they they come in and so now the hand addresses them all. I don't know how they all hear him because honestly There's like acoustics they used to have better acoustics back then maybe the design to better stone and arches It's not like today with popcorn ceilings and they get you don't have popcorn. See you know, look me man So they all hear when he's like, people of Argentina. Ah! Ah!

He's like, people of King's Landing today is one of the saddest days. Oh, cheeky King Viserys, the Wussy. The man who... That sucks. The final blue M&M through the whole of him, is Jim. The man who took 30 minutes to kill a deer once, I mean, he literally had a weapon,

and he was like watching someone attacking a pillow with a newtold, it was really depressing to watch. But he's dead, he's dead now. But it's also a joyous day because someone who looks like a very depressed 15 year old girl in Seattle in the early 90s. Ha ha ha ha ha. We'll succeed him. And everyone's like a very depressed 15 year old girl in Seattle in the early 90s. We'll succeed him. And everyone's like,

Mermer, Mermer, Mermer, Mermer, Mermer, Mermer. He's talking about. This is the moment for like as an extra on a TV show, this is the moment you live for. This is when they say, okay, on your cue, you will Mermer. Oh, I can do that. I can Mermer. Yeah, and all the actors here, all the actors on the stage here is watermelon watermelon watermelon watermelon watermelon watermelon

watermelon watermelon watermelon watermelon So finally they're like, okay, so they apply Yeah, and then the guards march through them in unison, you know, they're like twirling batons. It's like a very It was like they have time show it OSU or something You know as they come and then they do the swords the sword thing they make like a very, it's like they have time to show it OSU or something You know and so they come and then they do the swords the sword thing like a sword tunnel

Yeah, sword tunnel. Yeah, and Allison sitting up there in her very special like Minnie Mouse ears Yeah, like glitter Minnie Mouse ears. He's like oh my god. I'm so excited. I've been waiting for this forever and So now Aegon like those walking through the sword tents, you know, and it's a whole big thing and he gets up on the stage And I'm like, oh my god, it's gonna happen. It's gonna be just like a he's gonna slit his throat. It's this is where it all happened We're almost gonna drop one of those swords. I mean after what happened last week How's anybody just willingly walking under that many swords? I know that was also by the way, yes, security risk So while this is all happening, Rene East is like,

wait a second, everyone's distracted. So she sort of, I thought she was just gonna run out, but instead, it turns out there's a staircase. Conveniently, who do, this was, there's a dragon bit downstairs. No, this was, I can't kind of upset when I read recaps or comments or whatever and I feel like people are very snotty about this show like what I hated and his why they

go on and on and it's like oh I'm sorry that I'm too stupid to enjoy the show, you know I'm sorry that dumb and I feel offended but this who's gonna have a king coronation in the dragon pit? It's like, hey, everybody come to the garage. My son is president. Well, I mean, the dragons are like the equivalent of abombs. Okay, it's like, okay, everyone, we're gonna name the new king and there is an atomic bomb downstairs, but nothing could possibly go wrong, right? So as soon as she went downstairs, I was like, oh, the beast beneath the boards,

because she made a thing about the dragon. I was like, it's the dragon. It's gonna come up to the floor. I told him get it, I was like, oh, maybe she's gonna go through a tunnel or something. Well, then I was thinking, no, that's not gonna happen, because if the dragon explodes through the floor,

she's gonna get herself hurt, because I mean, she's still on top of the dragon, going through a floor, so that's not gonna happen. I think that maybe that's why she has that triangle head You know where like her ponytail goes all the way back here behind your head and right now it's like a Football yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's like a helmet. It's like a it's like a very important person helmet It's just covered in hair. You know, so no one can see it So they put the but before that happens this so it's this very drawn out moment of putting the crown on his head

And everyone's watching and everyone is bored and And then basically they give Aegon like the he Aegon pulls out a sword so you think like okay here it is Here I think they were actually playing I think they were leading us to think that and it pulls it out But then he's like wait a second. I got powers who hoisted up and then everyone's going like Eee-gon, eee-gon, eee-gon, eee-gon Yeah, and Christians like let us bear witness Her toss, her toss To aeblis skin care and ae-gon

Ae-gon is a true head of the throne and everyone's like what the fuck? And then ae-gon looks at them all like not really into him, you know, everyone's like, what the fuck? And then Egon looks at them all, like not really into him. You know, he's like, oh great. And then everyone kind of bows their heads, but no one really bows. His mom, his grandpa, they just all send it out. They're heads. Aiman's looking at him like, just,

now you fucking anian. Yeah, so jealous. And then they do the, oh, hair, his grace, Egon's second name of King of the Andos, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Comer on Headdums. Record holder of Skieth, Bolleth, Ther Dave and Busteris. High school maker of Mr. Pacquamanna. Best basket basketball in hoop, purse throw a purse and I I know of business shirts. Way out of outputs.

So everyone's cheering, everyone's excited and guess what? There's an explosion because the dragon has just exploded from below the boards. It just rips off huge hole in this, first of all, this is gonna be terrible news for the convention that's supposed to be coming to town in like three days. The council generally find a new venue. Yes, well, did you already do this part where everybody actually does end up cheering him

and he becomes the king? Yeah, I think I did that too soon, sorry. All right, I can't believe that I messed up a detail. Well, I thought it was so funny how this kid, it's like, I don't want to be them. We're like, he's gonna kill himself over this. But the minute he really hears his name being chered, he's like, oh, this is badass.

And I got a new sword. I was like, this is why they needed to get to him first. Like, he just goes with whatever's happened at the moment. He's like, wait a second, I can masturbate on all of these people. Oh my God, yeah, I'm totally gonna embrace this. Yeah, all of these people have children. I can masturbate on all of these people. Oh my god. Yeah, I'm totally gonna break this I said all of these people have children I can throw into a fighting ring. Yes So basically Rene's

Explosive the floor with her dragon and then I'm like oh my god Oh my god, oh my god, and everyone runs away and then the dragon. Oh no Everyone does not run away that dragon is flinging people ever Rene's is just like fuck pull people, you know know she's just like I spent a morning with all of you trust me I'm doing you all a favor okay let's thin these masses out a little bit she's like don't have a shoot TV anyway never smell these people very very smell let's just support people getting flooding all over the place and then of course the

dragon can't just walk like a normal fucking person like walk with its wings crashing everybody. Flods over to like the royal deus and no one has anything to run away. Just toss this like pickle-balling people across the room. And no one thinks hey we should run away they all just stand there like oh no and everyone breaks in. But then they start like crushing each other to get out the door and then what did they start doing closing the doors on them? It was the door

No, no you was saying open the door which was in a weird way I call back to hold door, but it was like open you kept going open the door open the door But like that but the royals you would think they would have an escape plan They don't have an escape so they're just standing, and they're all bracing for the worst. And the queen, she starts to win, like, oh my God, this dragon's about to burn us to a crisp. And so she goes on stands in front of her child, and she's like, not without my daughter.

And then, Reney's, the dragon opens its mouth, and then it just screams at them. It's just like, if the equivalent of aiming a gun at someone in a little flag comes out, it was like one of those moments, you're like, Rainey's, you should've gone in for the kill. But that is a lot of dragon breath. It's a lot. What's your button, the owl is just like,

I've been married to the king for years. You think your breath is gonna scare me, really? Seriously. So then it cuts to Rainey sitting on top, just like sucking that lower lip. Like, hmm. It's Rainy. Finally Rainy has the badass moment.

Like we've been saying all season, we've been waiting for her to have a badass evil moment, but it was a badass good moment. So I guess I will accept that as well. Yeah, because she gets ready to kill him all, and we all wanted to kill him all, right? Right, man, she's like, no. And she just makes a U-turn and walks out.

And then somehow this enormous dragon, whose wingspan is the size of this convention center, somehow can like fit through this half open door and just slides right through off to, you know, dragon's doughnut. Yeah, that's a goddammit woman, you had your chance. I know, but she is a benevolent woman She and she knows that to just to kill there would not be good for

For the people I guess I don't know but she just killed half the people hard to say But that was the end of the episode Well, they never care about poor people on this no I mean to even watch this show you have to pay HBO. Okay, that's how much that fucking care But you remember the end of a game of thr Thrones where it sounds like I know what we can do, we can have elections, and people can decide on their own leader and they're like, LOL poor people! No, no, no, no, no, we don't do, we don't deal with that. Although looking at history, you kind of see their point. You know what I mean? So, on that note, next week is the season finale.

So we'll see what happens there. Spoiler alert, war, war is gonna happen. War is gonna happen. Dragons and war. So we'll look forward to that. I like how they show Remy. She's just like, oh, they're trying to be had you. All right, well, follow me to the end, man.

I'll be in the back. I'm gonna go, you know, I saw some good, actually some very lovely other conduct chairs on the way over here. So I'm thinking about maybe sprucing up the place. I've kidnapped two poor children, I'm having them reenact flip afloaf in the living room, so just call me if you need me. Well everyone, thank you so much for being here.

It's always fun, we'll catch you next time. I'm like, what else? My brain's dead. Just say bye. Bye, everyone. Have a great week. We'll see you next week. Bye.

Plus, in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.