Watch What Crappens - House of the Dragon: From Stags to Riches

Episode Date: September 7, 2022

This week on House of the Dragon, there's a stag hunt, more unsavory betrothal suggestions, and a confrontation with an enemy feared across all of Westeros: tiny crabs!Watch the recap here: ��https://www.patreon.com/posts/71623484?pr=trueSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. Music Hello and welcome to Winter is Crapin'ing. It is a watcher crapins Game of Thrones podcast, although how's the dragon now? I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you today? Well, hello, man. We don't have to start calling it anything other than a game of Thrones podcast if we still get the same theme song. You guys spring for a new theme song, we'll spring for a new name. Okay, fuckers. I just want everyone to know where the hell they are. In the case, they're confused. So, but welcome. We're Ben and Ronnie. In case you are coming to us directly, we also have the Watcher Crappens podcast, where

we cover mostly Bravo TV. It's a comedy podcast. So go check that out too. Also we are here to talk about House of the Dragon. Episode three, this is, you can do more than just listen to us. You can actually watch us if you go over to our Patreon. Our Patreon is going to our Watch for Crappens Podcasts. Patreon.com slash Watch for Crappens and support at the crap is on demand level.

You can watch us. Ronnie just waved and now I'm waving. So let's dive into all the madness. It is episode three. By the way, thanks for being patient. We came out a day later because it was Labor Day. This episode, I actually really liked this episode, Ronnie. I have to say of House of the Dragon.

I felt like I was a little bit more invested in what was going on. I think it's because all the characters were mainly in the same place. That being said, it was also a little predictable, you know, like it's like, oh wow, Reneira's running off into the woods. I wonder if she's the one to find the white stag. I wonder if that will happen.

And of course it did, you know, but I enjoyed it a lot more. What about you? I liked it too. I mean, it's a little less plotty than the original Game of Thrones, right? I feel like there were like 30 things happening in one episode and this one's like, well, still the dad and the daughter Game of Thrones, right? I feel like there were like 30 things happening in one episode and this one's like,

well, still the dad and the daughter and the wife, even though a lot of time has passed now, you know? Yeah. And fortunately for them, it doesn't pass on their faces like it passes on mine. I mean, how many years passed, like three years? I think, yeah, I had to be at least two years in nine months or so at least.

So probably about three years. So where, who are your Botox doctors? Like a lot has happened in my three years. I mean, in my three years, I've started putting safety pins on my back, like clothes pins to like keep my skin at Botoxine, chemical peels. What are these fuckers? They look the same. Listen, they, the doctors back then, they were not great at dealing with skinning conditions in terms of like, you know, open

sores and pus and everything like that. But in terms of anti-aging remedies, they were on top of it. Except the crab feeder. The crab feeder is just doghouse. Yeah, that guy really, I mean, like just to apologize to everybody so you can have access to whatever skin care they have access to because this is not working for you. I don't think anybody in crab feeders immediate friend circle would even say,

oh my God, you look great. Like, you need work, crab feeder, okay? Crab feeder, I feel like crab feeder was done at the service. Apparently crab feeder is from the original book. I verified with my friends who've read crab the original book and crab feeder was a thing. And read the original book. And Crab Feeder was a thing, and I feel like I don't know much about the Crab Feeder,

but I feel like he deserved better than what the show gave him. Like they didn't give him any sort of like menacing monologues. They didn't even let him speak. I was like, look, in Batman Returns, the Penguin arguably ridiculous. He has an army of penguins that are gonna shoot missiles at Gotham City.

That is one of the most ridiculous things of all time, but it works because we got to any to veto, we got monologues, he has the support from Catwoman. But crab feeders, we're gonna put some very small, not even king crabs, we're putting just small crabs on your body, and we're gonna let the crab caress your chin a little bit, and then that's what to eat like the thing that we're scared of. We need some monologues from him. We need to really hate him. So.

Yeah, I mean, like a song something, something for crab feeder because I feel like it's a psoriasis comrade. I feel like sitting in the opera is gonna come out and be like, you know what, that's a defined mean psoriasis. I won't be the find my psoriasis. I'm like, really tell the crab feeder that because that's literally all he's giving me right now. Yeah.

Not psoriasis necessarily, but you know, his condition, whatever it is, bark. It's the bark condition called. The bark condition on the show, I think it was called like, Red or the plate or some, or I apologize to our game of, I'm not gonna apologize.

Right. It was like the, it was the dread or something like that. But you know, the crap feeder could have been a great gay icon. Like he already kind of looks like Shelley Deval. And so all the hard, the hard like a, like I, like not like as if Shelley Deval were in makeup, by the way, I'm not saying Shelley Deval looks like she is.

She's killing me, it's grayscale for everybody. Grayscale, yeah. Grayscale, it is both a mission and a filter. No, Shelley Deval meaning like if shelly deval Had this makeup on her, you know, I thought like the crap Crappie and her does give off shelly deval with Grace scale. You're right. Yeah, I'm sorry shelly deval You deserve better, but you know who else did crap feeder? South feeder, but anyway, I do awesome Crab Feeder. He also, if you want to be more menacing,

choose like there's a lot of really dangerous fish in the sea. I just feel like Crab Feeder, we could have done better. He could have done better, we could have done better. Glad they got rid of Crab Feeder though, because I need a better villain than Crab Feeder. And it looks like they're gonna have to give us one Because I kill people every two seconds on this chef We pulled up the HBO site of the family tree and the characters and stuff which they don't list everybody

But they list all the main people already so many people are dead. It's episode three Yeah, this is like a you know This is like those up those seasons of top chef where they just like eliminate four chefs right off the bat and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we only just started the show and you're already doing like mass eliminations, like what the hell? Yeah.

Okay, so very quiet. That means we get into it now. Yeah. I believe it should be a horn to signify that the haunts have begun. So we see burning building, it opens up, we see a dragon flag, and then we see fire. It's not a dragon flag, it's like the Targaryen thing. And so then... It looks better than I wrote.

Here's what I know. I think and so then it was better than I wrote here's my note horse flag no wait long horse worm horse dragon flag It did look it was a long shot. It was a long shot You know what though? I actually thought it was a horse to it first and I was like horse flag and then I was like no it's drag Maybe it was well, cuz they don't think they call oh they call Coral is the season it guys can say he could have the sea horse They call Coral is the season egg, as you can say, he could have been the sea horse. Anyway, the flag is burning, things are burning, buildings are burning, there are people that are tearing things, everything is just on fire,

and then we see what turns out to be the crab feeder himself, pulling a hammer. He's like, he's pulling a hammer out of a box, and there's a guy who looks, it sort of looks like Post Malone, Post Malone's tied up against the stake, and there's like a guy who looks it sort of looks like post Malone post Malone sort of like tied up against a stake and he's like he's really angry and he's like how's Valerian is coming for you the C-Snake will have your epoxy fucking head I was like I don't think the crab feeder is

gonna spawn to that I think that really like the I think cut pers is the way you have to really get to him. I don't think he likes being called a cut purse. Also, he's already got a box on his head. So, what are you going to do? Yeah. It's like threatening me with bad credit. Like really? What else you got? Yeah. Yeah. You have to sort of like just read the read the situation before you come up with your insult sometimes. Yeah. The guy is like, fuck you, be a trailer and your whore, brother, and your bastard father. Anything else?

You think he hasn't, this has been going on for three years. You think this the first time someone said this to him, it's not going to get to him. Like what you really do is say, I understand why you feel this way. And if you give me a minute, I'd love to talk with you about what happened. That got you this way. No, you say, listen, I would like to give you this opportunity to share your trauma.

Yeah. Okay. 2022. I mean, I know the show is not in 2022, but I mean, you know, it's about calling someone a whore father or whatever. So anyway, crap feeder is like, oh, really? He doesn't say anything.

He just looks in his Shelley Debal with Shelley Debal with Grace Gelfase. And then he puts a little crab on him. I'm like, oh my god, it's so cute. That little crab is in the crab's like, hi, it's like going really slowly up in. It's like, I'm just a crab. It was. It was just like, I'm a little teapot, but like the crab version, whatever crabs use as teapots.

And I was just like this adorable little crab like walking up his chest. And then it's like claw comes out and just starts like poking at his chin a little bit. It's like, it was like a little love tap. Like, hey, hey. And he's like, ah, I just wrote LOL crabs I can't. I'm sorry. You need a better villainous thing

than crabs eating you. You just need a better friend. Like make him big scary crabs, but not little baby crabs that are just like walking up and are like, what's going on? You know, just gonna lay the land. And so then this crab is like up on his chin. Like it's claws, like just touches chin

and this guy leases his shit. He's like it's like a little baby crap touching the chin. Yeah so the guy's screaming and the feeder just walks away and he hears a whistle and we hear a guy shouting oh my god it's the worm horse dragon thing And then the dragon comes out and of course burns shit down, you know. And I feel bad for the dragon because like there's no way to really top anything that the like the dragon really blows its load in one scene, you know. It's like we're burning things down. And then what do you get?

It's just they just keep burning things down. I need growth from the dragons. Also, this dragon is much longer and skinnier than the other dragons you've seen, right? Very long, very skinny and honestly, I'm gonna say a little dumber than the other ones and my reasoning I will get to but I feel like we've seen smarter dragons. You know, I'll get to my reason now. You can't get into the cave. You're a long skinny dragon. You're head in there.

Like, well, like also like the archers throw like shoot arrows at him. And it's like, hey, hey dragon, you can burn things that aren't on the ground. You can burn things that are on ledges too. Like you're a dumb dragon. Yeah, but I've been this moving so fast that maybe it would burn him because he's burning it would burn the arrow.

The drum drag arrow would keep coming. Because later on that dragon proves perfectly capable at burning archers on ledges, but like for three years has not considered that as a thing to do. That's the whole thing. For three years, they can't kill, for three years, the dragon comes out and everyone retreats into the caves and the archers shoot the dragon. And for three years, no one had a brilliant idea

to aim the dragon at the archers. Right. Dumb dragon. That's true. And all the arrows and the bows. Like, what do they take them in every day? Like, surely there's been a day that they just leave their toys outside. They're boys, you know. One day, just like just burnt,

just just do it. Yeah. So then the guy who's got a crab coming up his chest sees the dragon. He's like, told you mother or face, you know, hey, the dragons here to save me. Everyone heard my prayer. Thank you, Dragon. Come save me. The dragon backs up and just squashes him, which just keeps on him. Yeah, that's the thing also like that whole like the the the dragon like burning the place up is also just going to kill a lot of their people too. I guess they're already on their way. What were the crabs and such? So I was wondering about dragon aim because there does seem to be some incredible dragon. They're like, everybody in our army

going to the center of the yard. Now burn, I'm like, wait a minute. So then the crab feeder basically demons yelling because of course he's on the dragon. And he's like, crab feeder, crab feeder. And then the crab feeder is up in the cave and he just slowly walks backwards. He's like, aha, youeta, crap, Feta! And then the crap feeders up in a cave and he just slowly walks backwards. He's like, ha ha, you haven't figured out how to go

into holes yet, have you? The worm thing. I know. Oh, oh, oh, oh, the 900th anniversary I'm walking back into a cave. Yeah, Dragon Feeder just stands there at the mouth of the cave, like fuck with me. Find out. He just backs up with spirit fingers, fussy fingers. He's like, I guess what I'm going back into my cave, stupid. So, uh, Damon's like, yeah, he's just trying to, he like, come out here, but, you know, anyway, they go into the caves and then the archers come out and the dragon has to fly away. So then, so then we go to a party and it's like a big catered party, okay?

And there's a pig there, this old Aces, what they did, they're like, just roast the whole pig, you know, so there's like a pig, but it's a double headed roasted pig. And all I could think about was, they don't have barbecue stuff. Like what do they eat this with? What is this marinade in? Cause I feel like back then, they just put pigs on a stick

and just put fire on them until they could eat them. But do you think they had sauces? I think that, I, okay, I think they're were sauces, but the Targaryens don't have sauces. I think the Targaryens, like their stuff is always under seasoned. Like, when you look at the Targaryens,

you think they're gonna cook tasty season food. I don't think so. No. And it's always, yes, always under seasoned, and it's always burnt because they're, it's like we get at your Targaryens. We don't need everything burnt. Okay.

It would be nice to have some juicy pig. And in fact, they try to sell their under-seasoning as actually something that's good. They're like, oh, well, you'll notice that the pig is very lightly salted because we're trying to keep us sodium low. It's actually good. It's part of better dye. And you're like, great, great. And then you're like, thing yourself, like, I can't wait to get out this castle to go get some like better food down by like the warehouse So We're into big basically the king is looking around the party and someone's like oh look at your baby Look what your baby that you had he has your eyes king

He has your eyes like kings like yes in my nose as well Finger does he have my thing. Does anyone have my finger actually? Three-year-old joke. Still funny. So this, so there's this guy talking to Otto who I didn't know who he was. So I wrote down a republic and he sort of to me look like like a like a Mitch McConnell type. So that's that's what I was calling him. But no, this is Mr. Roper. This is okay.

So I'm sorry everybody for the creaking boat sounds. I'm scratching my back on my creaky chair. Oh my, just let it pass, just let it pass and my backstun. Okay, go ahead, Ben. But it turns out this is Hobart Hightower, who is the brother of Otto Hightower. This is what we found out from HBO site, which is very helpful. So this is Hobart Hightower, who is the brother of Otto Hightower. This is what we found out from HBO site, which is very helpful. So this is Hobart talking to Otto.

Again, like the naming on this show is hilarious, that you just have like, Reinis and Emma with an AE and Viserys and bylon and Otto and Hobart. So anyway, they're talking together and basically they're like so proud. They're so into Aegon. They're big Aegon heads because it's basically Otto's grandson and they want Aegon to be the heir to the throne because then they're like basically grandpa and grand uncle to

like the king which is super cool. Yeah, which is why Otto Hordat is daughter to the king with a little model glue, you know, and a lace-up dress. So he's like, oh, I can't wait for your baby to be king. And he's like, oh, it will take some time. I mean, I just watched him eat some porridge with his hands. I mean, I just watched him eat some porridge with his hands. Yeah, it's a mortifying nickname. It's like you just sound like a master waiter. Yeah, it's true. And they're really excited because it's Aegon's second name day.

And so basically, is it Hobart or Fubbert? I just said it's Hobart. Yeah, Hobart, Hobart is like, he's basically like, oh, he's like, it's Aegon's second name day. His infancy is behind him. It only remains for the sereness to name him to the throne. And I'm just like, I hate to break it to you, but he's only two years old. He's still going to be awful for a little bit. Let's like not, let's not act like he's a grown man just yet.

And this day and age, so he tried to wear out like an eight-year-old last week. Let's like not, let's not act like he's a grown man just yet. And this day and eight, so he tried to wear out like an eight year old last week, he's probably old enough to get his damn driver's license in this town. Okay. So then some guy runs in, he's like, I bring back news bad news bad news, King. It's about crab freedom. And the King's like, Oh, for Christ's sake, today of old days, crab freedom. He's like, it's urgent. He's like, it's been three years. It can be another three days. For crying out loud, the boy's gonna be old enough to vote tomorrow.

Can you give him a break? And then they cut that you see an extra in the background, doing like full on extra work, where he like looks urgently to the left. He's like, ah, three days. I was like, oh, good work, extra. You really, you really clocked in today, you know, like with that exaggerated, you know, look of alarm on your face. So the king is basically saying, like, look, there's no, like, let's not like freak out about this. Okay, we have a buffet, we have this giant pig thing that is appropriately seasoned, despite what everyone else you're saying.

So let's just like enjoy this moment right now. I mean, can we do gifts first? Did anyone bring in the many plastic motorized dragon yet? So the guys like, um, sir, we're blunted on the stepstones. I mean, come on. And he's like, uh, for Christ's sake, Kristen, male Kristen, Kristen, where's Ray Ray?

And he's like, but bad news, bad news. I'm still saying bad news. James driven the man hard. The questioning is authority. If there's time to get him out, it's now, son, now. And then these guys really committed. This message is like, I'm not shutting up. Okay, it's like he presses news over and over

and he just keeps going. Yeah, this is actually Thailand Lannister, by the way, so this is like a, an ancestor of Cersei, etc. So basically, he's just like, the king is just trying to really enjoy the fun parts of being a king, having parties going on hunts. And the step- Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.

I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Stones and triarchy are just always constantly getting in the way at all times.

So basically, they're looking for, basically, is like, right now I just care about where the hell my daughter is. Well, I'll tell you where she is. She's like a divorced woman going back to the same restaurant that she used to love going to with her love before he cheated on her left, okay? Because she's under that tree and she's still in books, but now she's not with Allyson, because Allyson left a boner dad. So now she's stuck with some whore, some paid guitar player. Yeah.

There. And she's just making play the same song over and over again. You know, he's like, wouldn't you like something else? Little Patsy Clawing maybe and she's like, Hey, again, I said play it. He's like, trees in the water, dragon's eye, dragon's eye in the tree in the water, dragon's eye, dragon's eye again. It's like, again, dragon's eye. That song is a boop. Come on, do it again. It slaps. It's like, no, when his twerk like Allison has twerked to dragon eye, play it again it's laps. No one has twerked like Alison has twerked to drag an eye. Play it again a go. This is my jam. Play it again. Under the dragons eye. Under

the dragons eye. So she's just sitting there reading a book listening to her, her eye menstrual and that's in like lowercase eye because that's what they had before iPods was eye menstruals. And so she's reading her book and Allison comes out and she's like, you know, she comes out and then the menstrual just stops because it's like's like, you know, she she comes out and then the minishoes just stops because it's like the queen, you know, and so Reneer is like, did I say stop? This is my favorite song and I was just working out a dance for TikTok on it. Please, from the top. So, um, Allison, we didn't mention, but she's hugely pregnant again. She's like fertile mertle over there.

So she's like Rainier, I'm like, that's my queen. She's like, your presence is requested in the main room. She's like, I'm reading. All right, don't rip that page. Paper. Paper. Remember when we were friends and I'd rip pages together and we would laugh, and now I do it alone. So, basically, Allison sends them in short way, Sam Well, which is so rude, because it's

like he was playing her favorite song. And basically, she's like, the queen commands you to go to leave the cards with AT once. So Samo leaves. And so basically Alison just like is demanding that Ranera joins them for this party and for the hunt. And Ranera, I feel like Ranera is both, she's both like rebellious, like I'm not gonna do it, but then she's also passive aggressive, like fine, I will do it, but I won't be happy about it. Like she can't quite pick a lane, right? Yeah, because her friends grew to rubber, so she she's mad at her. So she's like,

is that King Commandant? I'll do it, but I'm not doing it from you. Yeah, stepmother, you're not my mother. So it's like that kind of attitude. So, um, Allison's like, I will be patient. I will be kind. If you don't do it, I will rewind. No charge. Come on darling. Check your mother. If you don't do it, I will rewind. No charge. Come on darling. Shut your mouth, mother! So they go inside and then the king and queen and re re are there.

And you know, there's like a little baby in the car. And the manies are there. They really highlight the manies. They're like, look at Allison. She doesn't even like holding her own children. She's always nannies around. And I'm sure there are people out there at Parent Shaming Allocent,

to which they shut up, stop Parent Shaming. Okay, you shouldn't hold those things unless you're poor. Right, and so, yeah, they're in that, like that carriage that we really don't like. By the way, I feel like in the three and a half years, like, or three years, there should have been like an update to the carriage design. Like, I mean, if the three and a half years, or three years, there should have been an update

to the carriage design. I mean, if Toyota can do it once a year, I think the King could commission a new carriage, right? Yeah, that carriage is old. So you guys need to get the belts fixed. Yeah. So, Ray's like, should you even be traveling in your condition, Preg Preg, and the King's like, it, look, excuse me. Maybe we should stop pregnant shaming and realize that maybe it's your turn to get pregnant, Ray Ray.

She's like, well, screw you! And Allison's like, it's not so bad actually. You know, Egon came quickly. Your father not so much. I mean, really. Talk about doing the helicopter. It was all my long, but I got it to work twice. Christ now. The Nannies give themselves for it of looks like disgusting. So then the king is like, well, you should come right out with me today, join the chase because we're going to go hunting, because that's what we do.

Go hunting. And she's like, I'd rather not, because boys, squeal like children when they're slaughtered and I find it discomforting, which is like a very anti-borist. I thought it was mine. She's like, I will not kill a pig. And he's like, you're going to do it if you have duties. And she's like, oh, as I'm seriously reminded, all right.

No one cares for me, no one cares about me. It's like, oh, as I'm seriously reminded, all right. No one cares for me. No one cares about me. It's like, okay, Ray, Ray. I get it. You're not getting what you want. I need less petulence from Ray. Yeah. I need less time out.

Time out. You know, she gets a little, she gets a little fussy when she doesn't have a room that she can walk slowly around, you know? Because that's what she does. That's kind of like her thing is that she walks slowly through rooms and looks around and then people look at her but then look away but then she looks at them and then looks away and she just goes and does laps.

So if she has to be confined to a carriage, she kind of loses her mind a little bit. It's like her busy work. You know, like some parents like, oh my God, give her crayons. It's like, give her a water picture. She'll write up. Right. And then the King's like, now listen a water pitcher. She'll write up. Right.

And then the king's like, now listen here, young lady, if my finger wasn't about to fall off, I would spank your ass, I don't care if it got me canceled. All right. So then they go to this big tent city, which when it was fancy. When it was still fancy, they have a tent city. It was glamping.

They're basically gonna go glamping right now. My note on this scene so far is is I wanna fuck the man bun guy. That's all I really. There was a hot man bun here. There was a hot man bun. I don't remember man bun guy. There's a lot of people, a lot of extras. So they all, the royal party arrives and like everyone,

like all the peasants and stuff, they're all clapping for them except for Thailand because he's still really angry. He's like, I tried to tell them about the Steph stones, and they're like, we want to eat more of the buffet, and I was like, you could do both, but please listen about the Stephsons, and they wouldn't listen to me, so I'm not gonna clap when they get here.

Ha, my protest. And Mr. Roper, God, of course he has to do the name announcement. This fucking... Hail, Hail, it's the conqueror of the East, and the man with the gold watch. Man who plays piano under the heves of the East and the man with the gold watch Man who plays piano under the heaves of the leaves That rhyme that didn't even try to the man who tied his own bathroom

after watching one episode of Flip or Flop King Watch's face Hell hell Egg on the conqueror babes Second of his name, holder of the plane that arrived in his hangar. Peep, put her in his ears. Aga.

And Ray Ray is like, I'm staying at the car. It's hot in here, I'm not staying at the car. So she ends up getting out of the car and like walks around the party tent, I'll piss off and she's looking at everybody with her judgey look, you know what I love. And the king is just watching her and she's like, I'm still looking at you.

Oh, so we're not staying in the car anymore. Shut up, dad. And then the king's getting groomed. So she goes into the gossiping room. Yeah, the gossiping room is the best room, by the way. Yeah, the queen has her own gossip tent, which is great. And I love that Allison has just been like, fine, I'm queen, fun. Show me to the gossip room.

Because before she's like, I'm so shy, what? Ow, my finger. I'm going to pick my nails. I'm so insecure. I don't like people who rip out pages from books. And now she's like, I'm the queen. Show me to the gossip room. She's like, this is so much more fun than lighting sticks on fire and blowing them out

immediately in the tomb. So um, Sierra, Sierra, Lannister is there. Um, and uh, she's just a gossip. She's like, well, Lady Johanna was reported to have been abducted when one of the lord swan ships sailed through the stepstones in essence. Like, well, what's going to happen to Johanna? Have I even met Johanna? I feel like I don't like her already Just like well I heard she's to be so to a pillow house in the free cities if you believe the rumors like so she's Working at bed bath and beyond now. Yes. They are having layoffs, but she did get a position It doesn't make sense to me, but that is where she is working. Yes. I It doesn't make sense to me, but that is where she is working. Yes. I

Lucked into finding the new pillow so we're gonna move around pillows for a while And again, I love that there's like a Joanna. There's also like a Jason hanging around Among some people So so then there's the limping guy. Yeah, my leg my leg is not made for standing, man, I sit. Because I can't be a man and go hunting. So I must sit with ladies and gossip with them. That's me, good old lady man. And that's actually, so from this website,

that is Lionel Strong's son, Larus. So like, way to go Larus, way to be not a man and have to gossip with the women So One of the ladies like well, maybe the princess could give us some advice on what to do with the stepstones because cold forbid one of us is so to a pillow house Am I right lady? He's brought badly vote for this and so she's like Um, I don't know about giving you advice. Yeah, she's like never, never been, and the lady's like, well, your uncle is the mastermind

of this war. Is he not a madame? And she's like, I wouldn't know. I haven't spoken to Damon in years. And so then this lady's like, oh, you mean since you supplanted him as, eh, she's like trying to really get into a mind a little bit. Yeah, lady, what's your problem? him as ahhhhhh. She's like trying to really get into a mind a little bit. Yeah, lady, what's your problem?

Okay, you're mad at her because she talks to Damon. Now you're mad at her because she doesn't. You're just gonna be a bitch either way. That's why you should never worry about these people in the gossip room, okay? We've all been in a gossip tent or two. Okay, I see you, I see you, lady. Yeah, so then Allison is like, well, David made his choice, lady, Sierra, and the

princess was more suited to the role. So then this lady, Jocelyn, Jocelyn Redwine, I don't even know who Jocelyn Redwine is, but she pipes up, and she's like, well, he's made a mess, and the king must put an end to it and send feats and men, and clear out the triarchy for good, you know? And you know, the crown is at war, and even though you don't admit it, we've been dragged into by an uncle, the seasnake. I'm like, you know, I don't know who you are, Joss,

and red wine, but you just can't talk to Renera that way. And very rare, it's like, oh, whoa, are we? And here you are sipping wine and eating cake. Are you warring with cake, lady Karen? All right, is it? Are you in a warring at my fitness pal? What is it? Just war you're so worried about. It tastes better than that.

Pig you served at that quote and put party the other night. Let me tell you that much. So there's this asshole ginger who was working at Ray Ray before he, when she walked in, he's like, I get bigger the smirks walked in he's like I get to hear the smirks and he's got like long red hair and he's just slimy I mean the casting is really good. He's just real slimy So we see him again because she goes outside. She's like just got her my fitness pal calorie counting joking So she's all proud of herself. Yeah, yeah, so she's walking outside and

With guys have an announcement to make we've got a Jason Jason got a Jason Nana stuff Yeah, the Lanisters are kind of funny because they love like a Cersei, you know, they love a they love a they love a Cersei But then they also love like a Jason like a good old Jason Lanisteraster. So, and it Jamie, you know, like Jason, Jamie. I like it, they run the gamut and that naming scheme. So Jason's like, oh, was your second name as grand as this one? And she's like, I won't recall another one, Ego.

All right. It's a conqueror bed. Yes, we know, we know. So he's like, so anyway, they start sort of like, it's kind of like flirting a little bit. And he's like, I don't think that we've been properly introduced. And she's like, actually your twin serves

on my father's council. You may remember he was the one who like, put the ball on the thing and then just started Crying do you remember that at all? He's like no don't really remember that very much Thailand is frightfully dull the gods love him I'll tell you what's not all this wine this wine is bitch So this is a fine hunting ground, but best be a castle best is a castley rock near my home Bendy castley bendy castley rock have you and she's like yeah, once as a kid, best is a Cassley Rock near my home. Bindy Cassley, Bindy Cassley Rock have you? And she's like, yeah, once it's a kid, but I don't really remember.

Yeah, so we just called it the house of basic names. Well, he's like, he's like, well, you know what, let me tell you something. Cassley Rock has really come up over the years. I mean, it's thrice the height of high tower in Old Town. It's taller than the wall in North. We got a new Starbucks and fingers crossed. Panera bread's coming soon. so I think you should come and visit. Go to the top, you can see the sunset clear to the other side of town, which is

great until the electricity goes out on my right. But it was so that they raise the on 75 all day. Anyway, let me show you houses one, two, and three, and then you can make a decision. So then she's like, it's great. I mean, we don't have a dragon pit, but I do have the means and resources to build one. And she's like, well, why would you need to build a dragon pit? Because, you know, to house dragons, of course, I mean, it's sort of implied. I don't really know why else I would say Dragon Pit.

Do I have to really spell this out for you? I'm really trying to flirt hard with you right now, lady. Yeah, it's like I do anything for my queen, all my lady wife. And she's like, okay, thanks, creepy. Here's your roofie back. You can take that back to the bar. I'm gonna go for a walk. So she leaves him and she that back to the bar. I'm gonna go for a walk. So she leaves him

and she goes inside to the king and she's like, it's this what I am to you. Apprise for your houses. Is that what you're just gonna raffle me to the highest bidder then? He's like, someone guessed how many jelly beans are we in that jar? How do you feel about it? How do you feel about a dunk tank? How about that? She's like, no, I want none of it. She's like, well, you're of age, Reneira, and Jason Lasser is an excellent match. I mean, he lives in a very tall home.

He's a little skeasy, but again, I mean, the views. You got to love a good view, right? And she's like, but he's arrogant and self-serious, as it's no one else on this show is 100% like I'm like all the fucking jokers on this show so the King's like well I thought you had that in common you see that was funny I've tried to get you passed off to a penis with the house and you blow everyone off not literally of course and she's like I don't want to marry that's why daddy and he's like okay

yeah I figured that all right now they're yelling at each other it's like, I don't want to marry that's why daddy. And he's like, okay, I figured that. All right, now they're yelling at each other. He's like, why are you a teenager? She's like, why are you a bimmer? And then Otto comes in and interrupts. And he's like, excuse me, your grace. There's been a sighting of a white heart. The stag is the king of the king's wood and a regal portant foot.

We saw a deer. We best see a bizarre deer and we thought that'd be something easy enough for you to kill. So do you want to try to kill it? The stag of stag word white heart. Staggery stag stag is here. It's regal who's fucked to pull your diaper up. Alright, pull it up. Let's do this. Everyone's going to be impressed when you get a white This just in we also are getting report of a few squirrels too and they are also very royal So if you want to sort of go out there already because we really want to go hunting and you're in here talking to your daughter a lot

so If we could maybe move the hunting along a little bit, scrolls, stags, etc. So I guess I thought it was bore hunting too, but I guess they're waiting around for this white stag to show up because I guess when you name the king or whatever, you have to like kill white stag. Something like that, right? So very important white stag ceremony. So they're waiting for names. Yeah, there's just a great symbol to have. It's like for this to happen on the day that Aegon is having a second name ceremony for a white stack to show up. Yeah, huge big.

So Ray Ray goes outside and she's fuming. She's like, oh, people suck. And then Hathi Kristen sees something and then he goes after it's her. It's her. It's her. It's her getting on a horse and jet in the fuck out of there. She's like, I'm leaving! I'm driving the hills of Malibu in my motor rotec. Except it's a horse and a forest. And so she does. She's off and he's like, I'm Christian. I'm speeding after her. And so he goes and then in the forest, uh, he keeps yelling for her, but she won't stop. And then he runs his horse right up to her and grabs her horse's reins and they stop I was like that

That guy can get it. Yeah, that was hot. She's gonna. Yeah, it's gonna. It's gonna happen You know and so she's on mad. He's like what's going on? Like what's what's happening? You can talk to me I got sort of longer share and so she's like it's my father He's trying to sell me off to Jason Lannister. I mean what a common name Jason Stupid what's your name again Christian? All right also pretty stupid too, but either way. I'm not trying to marry you, okay She's like what's the only named air so my own I might only further breaks this standing of a lord I'm Cassidy rock and he's like You want me to kill him?

Okay, calm down there. He's like, let's go back. There's a double headed pig still I'm sure Lee that's not gone bad yet, and she's like it's a beautiful day Let's Take a walk or something and he's like he asked her if she's ever been betrays before or no She asked him if he's ever been betrayed before, or no, she asked him if he's ever been betrayed before. And he's like, well, I had an adventurous youth, but my station wasn't high enough for a betrayal, which is why I got that jar of palm aid

and I just let my wind flow in the air for whoever wants to touch. You know, they used to call me, some, I believe it was called Sir Fuckboy, which, you know, I understand. I thought it was a little bit of a rude title personally I did have a habit of sending lots of scrolls to women and then suddenly stop sending the scrolls But you know I was young I was exploring you know, but I had my adventures never quite married I just you know I'd like to take things a little slow

I like to normally when I'm not chasing a girl on a horse I like to take it very very slow. What can I say? I'm a working progress. Well, you're lucky you haven't say you have a thing you're not I've I don't mean I have a thing He's like, are you kidding? Everyone's jealous of you princess and she's like, I can buy Tried to do this to this. I don't get to do anything and he's like one day you'll hold enough power To write my name in the book and all that I have I owe to you. Now I'd hardly call that toothless. Now Jason Lannister, that's one toothless gummy ginger.

I'm all right. Like that. So now we go back to the hunt and there's like lots of dogs barking and they're in the woods. And the king is like, he's like, where is this damn white stat that everyone's talking about, and this one guy's like, well, we found some droppings, you know, so it's close.

So, he'll pick up, they're like, here, king, smell these droppings, he's like, ah, still fresh, still fresh, I see. It's like, nice guys. Okay, nice. Let's give the king's little shit to hold onto his nose. Okay, we know you didn't like

that buffet, but this was a rude way of getting revenge. You know, there's no, like, I get that is stag poop. Okay. Should we taste this before we go hunt? No, you don't need to, okay, we get it. Okay. Okay. So I have, I'll give you $20. If you somehow convince the king to hold shit up to his nose. Okay, can anyone do it please? Commershoes, here comes one right now. So, guys, like, well, we have this trail, all right? And before the dragons rolled out, the symbol of these lands were the white hearts.

They were the white hearts. They were the white hearts. And others were like, well, I'm not one for signs, but if God did wish to show their favor, it's this shit they left you on the road. So congratulations, sir. And he's like, yeah, congratulations. My grandson is definitely going to be the heir as evidenced by poop. Okay, we found some poop. So definitely give the throne to my grandson. So, now they, so even though they're like really close to this day, they decide,

let's go drink instead. They go back to the tent, and now they're all just drinking, and they're all just like having fun. And Jason Lannister goes up to the king, he has like a spear. And he's like, oh, by the way, I have this gift for you. I probably should have led with this like several hours ago, because I just have the spear awkwardly sitting in the corner there. But I've decided I'm going to give this to you, because this is an honor of Prince Aegon.

The child bet conquer the second dirt. Yes, and all that. Number one in roller rink figure eight. Okay, and all that. Number one in roller rink figure. Okay, we got it. We got it, buddy. He's like, it's a spear. I've had it made just for agon. Okay, guys, I know that this isn't a show we're supposed to be talking about industrial design. Okay. But or a peril design. What is a spear? Okay, it says full spear. And then on the end, the part that stabs people to death, giant animals, presumably, or humans,

to death and gets blood all over it, you put a fucking dangly earring. What do you call those dangling earrings with the? Yeah. What am I trying to say? It's like a pillow. I was thinking about a pillow. What's a thing on the pillow?

Tassel. It's like a tassel. Yeah, you put a tassel around it that's as long as a spear who's gonna keep this fucking thing clean Listen is gonna get get out of here with that Jason Jason if you're gonna try to impress the king with your spear don't get it like cost plus world market Okay, like really like invest some money because right now none of us are convinced Yeah, he got like a cheap spear and then he put a tassel on it like to make it fancy. We see you Jason yeah, if you're trying to kill an animal by the way You're not gonna sneak up on it with a jangling ass tassel. That's me This needs to be a quiet spear no adornments quiet and sleek

So he's like I hope this provides the kidding stroke, it gives your white heart. The King of Kingswood. This is though the settlers blessed this day. He's like, uh, thanks for the stick. He's like, well, I would be honored to marry a wife. I mean, marry your daughter. I would take it a crown. All right. I offer you strength. And the king's like, oh really? Do you think the house targaryen wants the strength? Have you seen my carriage? You can stand up and turn around to that thing. Well, I'm not saying that you guys are wanting for strength, but you guys are currently being defeated by several tiny crabs. So, I'm just putting it out there that if you need it a little

help, it's not you. It's just, you know, sometimes crabs can, you know, that it's just sad. It's a little sad. We're all kind of talking about it and I just want to be the first one to speak up. So he's like, it's just a weapon. All right. Like if one had dragons to offer you, would you take the dragons and the king's like, huh, you have dragons? That's not really the point though, is it? Is it? So Jason's like, well, unless you're first born son, many of us assumed that he would be.

He's like, you were soon, have you abandoned him and said anything? Who's got to think about me? Because it is your duty to report treason. And I don't name him as on a whim. All right, and you do well to remember that. Thanks for the gift. Now, try scrunchy next time.

Creepy head. All right, we'll just get it from a nap. Get out of my face. Yeah. Cheap ass spear. So then the king is getting more weight. I don't even know why the king is just going so hard in the wine tonight, but he just really is.

He's just really drinking. Because everybody wants him to name that baby his heir and he's like, but Rarer is gonna be mad at me. Which, that's true, it's hey true. It's a decent worry, sir. She will kill you. And I did forget that the king does have a tortured scene in a moment where he talks about like all his regrets and his concerns. So so now auto is like auto is so all about this white this white.

He's like that person who just watched a new show and is really trying to sell you on it. He's like, Oh, have you seen industry yet? It is so good. You should listen and watch it. It's like really good. Like it takes like a little while to like to sheat up, but then once it does, it is so good. So I really think you should watch it. Okay.

So he's like all about that with us. I'm not watching another show about people fucking it work. Okay. I watch enough below deck. I saw that commercial for industry before this episode last night. I was like, what is this? They're like, but I'm at it. I'm at it. What are you crying about? You're at work. It's supposed to be great actually, but either way, Otto is like all about this white stack. So he's like so What do you think about Jason Lannister for your awful

daughter? And he's like no I mean that spear was pretty janky I was expecting more from someone who did it on such a tall house you know. And he's like that man's pride has pride and I was like well you're not just Ray Ray's father you're also king. So she must do what you command. She's just a girl. And he's like, well, I don't want to command her. I want her to be happy. All right. Just one father's day would be nice not to have a stomp out of the room acting, or you know, mean to me. And he's like, well, there is another choice beyond Cassley Rock. One you might be more comfortable with. One closer to home. He's like, oh God, let me guess, you've got a child, you've got a bus full of children coming over here

to play out the bachelor. And he's like, well, yeah, the prince, the baby. Look at the baby. I hope you fun, that's romantic, isn't it? He's like, wait, you said this would be one that'd be more comfortable with? He's like, so last week it was like pedophilia, but now this week it's pedophilia

and incest. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Now this week it's baby philia and incest. Look, what the fuck auto? He's like, I'm just trying to think outside the box a little bit. He's like, go back inside the box auto, back into the box, sir. He's like, well, the boy did just to turn two years old and the hat was like, yes, but it would end. This is these proposals for Vanilla's hand because she's not because she's taken. No, because I think most people be creeped out by the fact that she's marrying her two year olds half brother.

So I think this could be a really good plan. Yeah. So then he just gets wasted. The king. The auto's like, oh, I guess someone's not wanting to marry a baby right now. They must be drinking too much, though. Well, I'll come back to this later.

So the king's like, fuck this, I'm getting shit-faced. So he just gets drunker and drunker and almost spills a picture. And Alicent is gossiping with the bitties and they keep looking at each other. She's like, look at me. You're a happy life. And yet you're not happy. He's like, oh my God, I've got a young wife. But mark can't probably be happy. And then later we see, sir, what's this? Lord Lionel. So Lord Lionel walks up to the king, who's in the king's now wasted on his throne. He's like, good God, the hands trying to get my daughter to marry my toddler son and my wife is sitting there

just rubbing her stomach over and over again and this is just too much. And so Lord Lionel just comes up and he's like, oh, by the way, we sent a Christian after your daughter. In case you were wondering, many hours later, because it sounds like you're really caring about your daughter, but anyway, we sent Kristen and the king is like, oh, a gold, that girl is a heedless contrarian.

I thought I'd forbid her to wear a lanaster. She would have wared, Lord, Jason, out of spite. Am I right? Am I right? Come on. Can I get a laugh? That was a joke, everyone. I think it was a pretty good joke considering how wasted I am, anyone?

No one? And Lionel's like, well, so, last king ruled over peace, well, ruled in a time of peace while his daughters drove him to madness. So it's tradition, sir. Do you want my opinion? He's like, oh my god.

Should I guess? All right, you believe the strongest knight, the seven kingdoms, break bones is the best match. And he's like, no, the son of the water snake, Sir Lionel. Some years ago, I counseled you to take his wife, Lenore. They're of pure defense. He's the heir to the wealthiest house in the realm. It would, you know, everyone would be psyched for this. Or just do it, just do it, or I'd just get callous what he wants. Listen, I'll be honest. A few years ago, I did suggest that you take

callous' child bride, and I lost a lot of credibility, but now that I've said that your daughter, Shimmeri, your son, I feel like I've risen up in the ranks a little bit, so... Here's my rebound suggestion Lennus So he's like fuck this oh my god. I'm so sick of talking about children dating So he just like staggers off and then we go to Ray Ray and Kristen sitting by fire Okay, and Kristen's like princess. I want to make a final plea to return His grace is certain to be worried and

Surely dessert will be up soon Pig sundays Sure, there's something really skillful done with the pig for dessert And so she's just like no, I'm not going back. I'm not going back at all and They're just like she's like do you think the realm will ever accept me as their queen? And he's like, I feel like this is a trick question. I want to say yes, but I also kind of know it's no. So I'm just going to say they'll have no choice to just a quiet. There's rustling. So now he takes out a sword because there's like the

horse or sput. So. And we hear whaling heard in the brick, walking heard in the brush. Don't, don't, don't. And Christians like tiptoeing and there's a camera behind him. So we're like, oh my God, he's gonna die. And I love his jacket. I was like, please don't die in that jacket.

I love that jacket. And then, um, I listened to the white flag. I was there in there breathing. I thought the white flag wasn't come out, like be like, it's me, but instead. It's like a really extra boar. It's just like running out out of nowhere.

It just comes darting at them and then like attacking them. And it's like, okay, literally no one was doing anything. It was so chill. You first of all, you should also be a sleep boar. It's nighttime. You're a daytime animal. Why are you running? Why, honestly, the board probably has rabies. And I think, where is our fuckers?

Rainier or mate, may have rabies now. Well, at least it's not crabs, alright? See what those did to people back then. But yeah, the board comes at, Bores are horrible. They're horrible. I mean, Hannibal Lecter fed people to them. Well, remember what happened to Shakira last year? The

board is attacked her in a park and the board's are fangs. Boars are fangs. They'll go after Shakira. They're definitely only after Ranero. Yeah. So the board comes in and knocks down Ray Ray and starts ripping at her and Kristen stabs the board through the skull and the knife comes out the friend of his mouth and I wanted Ray Ray to kill this thing but Ray Ray does

yeah grab a knife and just stab it 5,000 times she's like you fuck her she cuz well cuz it like it like starts to like move a little bit they know the board was like whoa I took some strong as it like whoa and she's like dark and then she just like stabbed at 50 times. And that's it for the board, but the blood gets all over her face. It's like she's letting out all her anger, all her anger and her father and her mom and her grief and all of a sudden, and she's like, you know, a kid,

and she still hasn't heard back from, from Amherst College. And she get in and she's stabbing and then Yeah, she gets it all out So then the king and Alice Center talking he shit faced and he's like everything she's like everything okay Gracie breaking any models today what's going on with you and he's like My name right because she's my only child and I wanted her to be the queen I think I was gonna get married and have another baby, but I did. Now what am I gonna do?

I'm like, I'm a dreamer, okay? I'm not just a king. I dream things, okay? Like, what's the owner of a dragon? Um, the owner of prophecy. So, let me dream! Can I just dream? So basically, he had one dream many years ago and he's been trying to like read dream it again

First of all first love recurring dreams that the only recurring dreams you have are the stupid ones Like the one I had last night that I was back in college and I hadn't done my like I hadn't done all the reading for my Exam okay, you don't get recurring dreams of awesome stuff. Like, oh, I saw who the new, the, the, I've ever, I got my prophecy again. You only get a prophecy once. No, unfortunately, I can't choose your dreams, right? Yeah. So he's like, you know, I saw on a dream very vividly, a male bone to me wearing the conquering crown and being the first person in the kingdom besides me to also tile his own bathroom after watching one episode of the Niche TV show. So I wanted it to be true, to be a dreamer myself, and I sought that vision again, but then

it never came again, and then I poured all my thought and all my will into it, and my obsession killed Rayway's mother, and so I thought, naming Rayway, was the way out of my abyss of grief, I thought it would set things right. But then I remarried and had a son. What if I was wrong? Maybe I am a dreamer. Am I a dreamer? Should I fuck Rayway over?

Uhhhhhhhhh. Oh, I thought I would fix it. But then I wound up marrying some boring wench. Oh, you're still here Allison, I'm so sorry, I'm gonna be right over. Oh! Oh, I thought I would fix it. But then I wound up marrying some boring wench. Oh, you're still here, Allison, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I thought my monologue had surely driven you away by now. So she's like, uh, are we going to dinner now?

Because I'm still wearing my hair in it. So, can someone tell me if I'm serving the cranberry sauce? Okay, good. So you kind of regret, like, what I'm getting out of this is that you kind of regret marrying me, but just as a reminder, I did fix your stupid ass midlife crisis model.

I fixed the tyling in the bathroom that you tried. I did recommend someone that could pierce your ear and I said nothing when you got a sports horse. So, fine. Oh, so in the morning, the Kings and the Knights and all of his people ride up to the forest and the King gets off his horse and his men have caught a deer, a stag, whatever. And they've got it by the horns and ropes. I mean, what the fuck you got? This is so worse of the King. So they've got it by the horns and ropes. I mean, what the fuck you got? This is so worse of the king.

So they've already caught it for him. All he has to do is like walk up and stab it with his stupid, gifted dollar store stick thing that the ginger gave him. And then he goes up there and he still can't fucking do it, right? He stabs him on the wrong and it's awkward and everyone's like, oh my god, whoo, whoo, whoo, god what's up I mean a little bit of love so then he's like oh geez he's all hungover he's like oh my god why do I smell like

bile and mustard and then he gets it right but you know to be fair he did have a shitty spear so like maybe if he had like a better quality one you would have done the fight I couldn could aim properly because of the task of flying in front of the aim spot. The task that has spooked the deer, it moved its neck, it just, it wasn't gonna work out for me, I'm sorry. So he basically does kill it like barely.

It's like embarrassing. It's not even, it's not even the great white. So it's just like some random stag. Yes, it's some random. They couldn't find the white one. So they're like, maybe we'll just bleach it on the way back to Camp. So he's like, sounds good. Son loaded up boys. So then we go and it's like really light applause because everyone just knows that was pathetic. Right. Yeah. So then talk about an awkward morning after Ray Ray and Kristen wake up wearing

the same blood that they wore to go to batting. It is awkward. Yeah, it is really awkward and they're like looking over the woods. They're like, I'm like, I'm like a little cliff and they're looking over the woods. And then, oh my god, I can't believe it. The white stag walks up. And so of course, Kristen takes out a sword because he's a monster, turns out. By the way, don't trust this guy.

He basically admitted that he was a fuckboy and now he wants to kill the white heart, okay? Boo. So, but she's like, no, no, no, don't do that. And then the stag walks up, and then sort of stands there majestically, and then just runs away. And I'm like, that was a nice moment, but also what's going on with this stag?

Like, what does it want? There's a sign. So it's just gonna... Oh, you mean, I mean, like, why is it sign so it's just gonna oh you mean I mean like why is it like it's saying like she's actually the one who's rightfully the heir to the throne right no I understand I understand the symbolism I'm like just wondering like what is like you didn't want to be here why'd you even come over because there were a couple of bloody sluts in the forest, and we wanted to see who was fucking and wearing the same blood they went to bed

in the next morning, that's why. I just feel like the stag just bolted, it was like, it was being crazy. I just, yeah, I've just not totally understand the motivations of the board or the stag. I feel like these animals acting crazy in this forest. I would go back to the city. The stags, like, you're boring. I just go back to the city. The stacks like you're boring.

I just want to see the humans, but you suck. So I'm going to go away. It's a very like. Cory's tag. I guess I hear I am. And now I'm running away. It's like no one did anything's tag. Why are you running away?

That is white stag fragility. It's like, I'm out of here. I don't want to hear any of this unless they're going to kill me or take a photo. I'm out So then the board is brought in Yeah, we're in there because Ray Ray's like Ray Ray is like just let it go like what do I have to prove? Everything but nothing so he runs off So they bring the board into town and everyone's like well look at that bowl stabbed 9,000 times Ray Ray covered in a blood mask.

Yeah, Ray Ray is getting a vampire face to everyone. The gossipy ladies are like, Oh no, what does she still look so young? Did she just get an O shot? So, like, my goodness, all that blood in your hair, have you been frequenting the pillow houses? So, but she walks in like all like, my goodness, all that blood in your head. You've been frequenting the pillow houses. So, but she walks in like all like, yeah, I killed a boar or technically just finished off a boar.

I did the easiest part. I killed it 40 times, but Jason did the big part. But then like Jason, Jason Lassrous sees her and he's like, ugh, he like makes like a big exaggerated like, that's gross. She killed a boar. She's not invited to cast Lee Rock anymore. So that's clearly done. Yeah. So that's gross. She killed a boy. She's not invited to castly rock anymore. So that's clearly done.

Yeah, so that's it. That's the end of that little tent city party. So now back at the castle, Otto comes to Allison's room and he's like, please get that poor hand scraper out of my face. He's like, Mommy, take away the baby. So they do.

And he's like, did you enjoy your h your grace? How fed my grandchild? Because he is the future of the realm. And you know, you bore the king of sun and ended 15 years of doubting. Egan was born to rule. She's like, oh my god, dad, you know, you can be a little bit more subtle. All right? I know. Dad, you're so transparent, I mean. Like I looked the other way when you ordered me out to the king, but like you don't have to really see these things out loud. Like I understand what's supposed to happen. Soon everyone will be eating porridge with their hands.

Dad, stop it. Okay, we get it. Is that quite- what's your problem? Don't you want your son to be king? And she's like, what method wouldn't? And he's like, well, you must know if Ray Ray took over, people will be pissed, they wouldn't be pissed. And she's like, oh, but Ray Ray would be a good queen,

not of the library. That's for sure, wouldn't put her in charge of that. But everything else should be pretty good at. More like Barnes and Ignobel, am I right? Am I right? So he's like, well, it wouldn't matter if it was Juhira himself come back. And she's like, well, what do you want my baby to wrap her up her birth right? And he's like, duh.

The road is clear, Egon will be king. They will name breakfast foods after him. And you must guide the Serious Tours reason. Get a bottle of model glue in your blowjob lips and get the fuck up there. How many times do I have to ask? So then Allison goes over to the king's room and she's like, I was hoping we might discuss something. If this is about Squid Game Fine, just start it, I will catch up on my own time.

She's like, no. Oh, I actually already did start it. You did, I mean, anyway, can I talk to you about something? He goes, is it about Renera? I don't think that she enjoyed Jason Nellis' company. And he starts saying how like he just wants her to marry, but like, you know, like she's just always, she's always so resistant. she's like well, she will marry but this is a radical idea. I think it has to be her choice. I think the woman has to actually be able to have some control of her destiny. What?

Well it's actually a little more, um, it's actually a little more sneaky than that because she says she must believe it's her choice to do so. She's like hello, do I need to teach you how to manipulate women? All right, luckily you married the right woman. So she sees a little ice scroll on his tray and she's like is that a new ice scroll? Does that have the new update on it? Are you right? Hello, scrolling. Are you running 15.6 solidly? Let me play with this. Let me play with this. It has the new iOS, but it's the old mod of scrolls. It's going very slowly right now, but try if you want.

It's gonna frustrate you. He's like, well, it's just a letter from Damien Eggplantia. Sorry, it was the typo. It's really weird auto correct. All right. So basically the scroll says that Coralus and Damien are losing their war and that they, you know, they need help. Because this is this letter sent from Coralus's brother and the king doesn't want to send help because he's like, well, they started it.

And if I provide sucker to them, then what does that say about the crown? And she's like, well, right now the crown's being beaten by crabs. Not my was just everyone else's said I don't know what do you think? and um She's like that. Don't you want them to think that you're a good man? And he's like, oh you believe I'm a good man. I've got a bridge to sell you all right so

Ray comes to small council and The king is handing a scroll to the messenger and he's like, I am sending aid to the stepstones. And she's like, but did he ask for that? And he's like, well, no, he'd soon retire, but I won't allow that. Do you not think my decision correct? And she's like, well, it's the no consequence with I think I'm so often reminded I'm only the person who stabbed a board 97 times and times contracted in the town of fed everyone dessert finally

but oh sorry, I boobies and the king is like well, I mean Damien is just fallen on my flesh must you insist on taking after him and she's like well if you intend to marry me off to Castlery Rock where they have a quote unquote Starbucks as if we don't have intelligence to get here for crying out loud. Can you believe you tried to sell me on that? So he's like, you're gonna marry me off to Ginger Rogers over there. You dick. He's like, okay, I'm sorry. You're gonna replace me. You have a son now. You don't have

any more use for me. You might as well just pedal me for what you can. And he's like, okay, you've misjudged me. All right. She's like, everyone knows it. She's the no-scent. Everyone knows it. You just want to, you just want to boy. Ah! He's like, listen, it is true that as rulers,

we must marry for advantage and for alliances. And you have always understood this. I myself was promised to your mother when I was 10 of seven years old also known as 17 and she's like, oh my god, I know the story of 10 of seven you met mom yada yada yada And he's like, well, I loved her and she made a man of me and I do not seek to replace you as a child I mean replace you come a child, but you'll be much alone these past few years and alone and angry I will not live forever and I wish to see you contented

Happy even so Which is like a man a man supposed to make me happy What about instead of a man? How about a boy a very very small boy who's also happens to be a brother But that's a technicality and he's only two years old Listen, I know that you kind of want a man you kind of want a baby What if you could have them both at once? She's like Can we go back to Jason Jason Anastas?

I'm sort of into Starbucks now. So he's like yeah, if it was so important to marry somebody for the Reputation that you would have married, you know, fucking frozen last week. Okay. And he's like, okay, true enough, but you must marry. So, strengthen your clan, shore up your succession, multiply, ask your match, pick yourself, search them out, find one that pleases with you, pleases you, alright? And she's like, okay, there, oh my god, thank you daddy, love you. It's like Ray Ray. Try to have some sort of poker face.

She's only just like, spleenly smiling. It's like, come on girl. Don't really crush all your power, okay? So she's like, nailed it. So now we go back to the stepstones for Trawiaki. And the dragons, it's like there's boats trying to go through. They're getting hit by fireballs and everything. Everything's going wrong for Damon and Coralus is army.

They have food is dwindling. They only have a fortnight left. Maybe 10 and 7 days at best. So Coralus is brother, Vaman has talked about how he called for drift mark for more ships. They're running out, they don't know what to do. They're fucked basically. So most of them are like, well, ask the king for help. And they're like, we're not asking the king for shit.

Oh, really? Well, that makes us look stupid. I'm just asking for help. They're like, no, we won't not. And then a messenger comes, or like a messenger comes. Well, we won't not. And then a messenger comes or like a messenger before the messenger arrives, we meet Lane or who was proposed as a potential suitor for Rainier and he has this idea. He's like, look, every time we go in with a dragon, they always just

go into the caves. So what if we draw them out of the caves? What if we give them a reason to come out? Yeah, they're like, give them some bait and they're like, who? I'm like, fucking, I brought free over there. Let him do it. And they're like, no, you can't give them the King's brother. Well, if the King won't give his own brother, then fuck the King! How about that? And, and they're like, do you know Mutiny? No Mutiny, how dare you! Yeah, so Damon's just there. Damon's like Exhaust, he's just like... Killed three people.

So then the messenger shows up, and he's like, I bring word of his grace for Sarah's take out, and first of his name, he get the Andos, right? R-R-R-R-R the rawer of the first man They are the Lord of the seven kings of protected the seven realms So father of the babe conqueros also the second of his name and has blonde hair throw of great buffees and Pusson who killed a stag that wasn't white was but was a pretty cool stag nonetheless Holded of dragon repair drinker of the fronzy up. So just give us a fucking scroll, dude. So Damon reads it and he hands it back

and then he turns to the table and lets a sunshine on his face and then he takes off his helmet and he just starts kicking the messenger's ass. He's like, fuck you, how about that? How about you take that back to the king? Ah. Like, wow, you're literally killing the messenger. Great. So, so then we hear them. The basically the note was sort of passive aggressive. It was like, brother, I have

older 10 ships and 2000 men to set sail from King's Landing to join in the effort, the failing effort at the stepstones. Though time and circumstance have seen us estranged, no, that is not my desire to see you fail in your course. Implication is that of course you are failing in your course. Ha, ha, ha, I should delete that. Siri, delete, ha, ha, ha. Siri, delete it. Delete it.

Why is there another eggplant on this scroll? What am I saying that's leading to eggplant emoji? Somebody. This is different. He basically is like, you know, like, sure, I'm going to help you and I hope you have a safer turn. Yeah. So then Damon's rowing on the water all email and then he approaches a school in the water with crabs coming out of the eyes and he's like,

no, still not scared. We're going gonna still need to work on this villain. They're terribly adorable even coming out of schools. I don't know. So he goes into the camp and there's nobody there. It just looks like dead people everywhere. So he walks up this little hill and then he starts waving a white flag like, God, you hear that people singing, singing a song of angry men. And then he just stabs the flag into the hill and crowdfeaters flag like, God, you hear my people singing a song of angry men. And then he just stabs the flag into the hill and crab feeders like,

so crab feeders slowly walks out of the cave. And then crab feeders starts nodding to people. And so they all start coming out slowly of hiding. And they're like, is it real? Is this a trick? Are you tricking us? I'm not tricking you. I feel like this might be a trick to lure out everyone from the caves, but I'm not sure

so everyone come out of the caves anyway and then we'll find out for sure that way. Yeah, they keep coming. They like put a foot like a chow near him. I mean, he's holding up a sword. He's holding up a sword like this. Like good taking a two. So he's holding up a sword, like take my sword. And he's like bowing down and the guy comes

and the archers are like, they're ready. Like maybe this could be bad, it could be a trap. Not sure, maybe we should kill him first. Kill him first and then find out if the trap, now let's keep him alive. And then we'll know if it's a trap. Knock, draw. So they do. Kill him first and then find out if the trap, now let's give him a live and then we'll know if it's a trap. Knock! Draw!

So they do. And some unapproach is slowly and they're like, no, seriously, they take the sword. What do I need to for? Just kill me, I don't care. So they take it from him and then the crap feeders nodding it everybody like, okay. Now the next team come out, okay, team three, cave three, you can have people come out now, Okay. It's like at a wedding when they call tables to the buffet. I was like, okay, if you're ready, you can get in line for the buffet. Come on out. Yeah.

And then right when they're about to, you know, it looks like you're about to shoot arrows, demons like, kidding. And then you like jumps up and like stab somebody with them. He had new shoes. And then grabs the sword back and just starts chopping people and running around and like avoiding you know 97 million arrows that are coming out of him at one time. He's like Suddenly he avoids every almost every air the crab feeder just standing there I am yet to see why anyone is following the crab feeder like why does the crab feeder have an enigmatic hold on this giant army? He doesn't say anything. He doesn't ride into battle. He doesn't really do any. He just sort of stares. So that's

a speech. There's no speech from crab feeder. You know, most of these shows rely on that. Man, I know we feel lost, but we are men. Men of a craft. There's something that crab feeder, I keep one even for you, you don't even want the one thing he has, crabs, because they're all fed on people. Yeah, and so, and crab feeder keeps looking up in the sky because he keeps on like expecting the drag, and he's like, is it now?

No. No. No. No. So he keeps looking, and there's just like more sort of, and so now Damon's been hit by a few arrows, so he's like under this like little structure, and he's like lying there and everything looks terrible And then all of a sudden like

The this like the crab feeders army Realizes that they've been surrounded by Damon's army and they're there and not only that like Rout row the dragon of course the dragon and so someone finally had this brave idea of like Why don't as long as we have a dragon? Let's go for the archers first and then the people and so after three years they finally take out the archers Yes, and then Damon's because a crab feeder guess what the crab feeder does He's like well never really came out of the caves. I'm just gonna walk backwards with Bob Fossy fingers. Yeah, the cave method works.

Yeah, yeah, me. Yeah, he wants backwards, right into the cave, and Damon sees him, and he's like, oh, really? And now Damon's had a couple of arrows, but you know, non-lethal places. So he pulls him out, and he runs into the cave, and then he comes out of the cave, dragging the upper half of crab feeder,

which we didn't see the fight. I mean, I would have liked to see how the crab feeder fought. You know what we got instead? We got a lot, because Lainer was riding the dragon, Lainor. He was riding the dragon, and it was very much like, it was reminding me of like Star Wars Episode One when I was like baby, Darth Vader,

it was in like a little jet, jet wing or whatever. And he's like, woohoo, woohoo. It became very much like Lanner, be like, whoa, whoa. And I was like, I don't know if I like Lanner on this drag and it's not a real fit for me, you know? Oh, so then we see Damon dragging the upper half of the crab feeder out. Hisils are, you know, hanging out Yeah, which is gross and

He just discovered him blood and goo and I thought damn Damon actually looks really cute with eyebrows Because his eyebrows kind of got died from the blood and I was like wow the send it up with Damon being hotter So it's a win for me It's also a really big upstaging of Ranera because like for a while, they were like, she's bad ass. Like she walked into a camp with a bore like she, she like killed a

bore at blood on her face. And he's like, I just killed like the only enemy that we've only villain we've seen on this show. I just killed him. And I actually dragged half his body out. So you need to wind up your bore, but I have a human. So yeah, so they did have a little of,

maybe too bad ass of a Damon moment there, but you know what? I was I was for it. And I'm just glad crab feeder is gone. Me too. I'm sick of crab feeder. Crab feed them. It's not interesting. I'm glad that's over. I'm glad that we got to spend some time with like some character development too as opposed to just like Like 10 different scenes at the city council with like blustery old men saying like well, you can't do this

Well one certainly cannot do that. Oh, well, this would beg of the polls. Oh, certainly cannot do that. Well, one cannot do that. One should do this, you know. Yeah. Talking marble, talking marble, talking marble. Which I'm sure we'll get more of that. Yeah. Fan episode. I liked it. I like it too. I guess. Yeah. Well, I'm looking forward to seeing if maybe Renera gets partakes in a little incest and pedophilia next week. No. Oh, Lord help us. How are everybody? Well Well thank you so much for joining us today for Winters Crapin. Okay? We'll be back over on Watcher Crapins, our other podcast to join us over there. If you want this video, go to patreon.com slash watcher crapins on the crapins on to

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