Watch What Crappens - Live in Austin RHOM: Gringo of Fire

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

We begin our Cheater Brand Tour at Emo's in Austin, Texas with a Real Housewives of Miami (S05E12) recap. Nicole made waves when she threw her Ay-Mex at a lawyer and it causes a fight at the Gringo dinner. Will Alexia be able to forgive her? And is anyone going to say anything to Todd about his blazer? This week's premium bonus is a #RHONJ trailer breakdown. Join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but they don't let her have it. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens? Oh, darling! Hello! Hello, you gorgeous refugees!

Oh, you poor... No electricity! No heat! No electricity. No heat. Your little inner tubes coming down the river. Get to Emo's. Thank you so, so much for being here. Thank you guys.

We've decided our new tradition is that when we start tours, there's gonna be some extreme cold weather events. Yeah, as well as you're so bad they named weather events. Yeah, it's last year. It's so bad they named this shit, you know? Yeah, this was Winter Storm Mara. Mara. Mara. I'm high-fee.

I'm high-fee. Kate Mara. Yeah. Last year, when we started our tour, we coincided with a bomb cyclone. They made that shit up just to get me mad too, because that's not even a thing. And don't tell me that you all heard of bomb cyclones before two years ago. Some bullshit, made up, bullshit that they just came out. You can't just call it snow.

Yeah. Certainly no, Mara. That's for sure. Snow came, Mara. Yeah. And it hasn't had the problematic past of working closely with Kevin Spacey, but still. No, it was bad. She's very real house-wise, Amara.

The winter storm. She's like, I may be windy, but I'm not afraid to blow. She's a... No, that's a storm I could get behind. She's a racey housewife. I finally love storms. Well, you know, I hate talking about the weather, but I've learned living here in Austin. Being in Austin.

I love talking about it now, because you all will get bitchy about the weather. I went on the Facebook group, which is like my favorite place to mentally troll. Because I don't have a fake account on Facebook, so I don't want people to see where I live. I don't want to do that. But I tell people off of my head. But today, I just kept reading the threads where people were going, hey, how the road's out there.

It's always some man, sorry guys. You very cute men in the front. Yeah. But it's always some man in a fucking nine-foot tall truck with LED light. You just, because I click on their pictures, you know? I click on, I see the red hats and all. I'm like, I knew it was you.

I knew. And then there's always that check it comes on and goes, you fuck an idiot. There's 90 corrects. on and goes you fuck an idiot There's 90 car wrecks look and then they post the article with 90 car wrecks You know, I was so proud of us by the way in my neighborhood 90 car wrecks. Yeah, you did it And that doesn't include the show we're about to recap tonight Get it Isn't it funny that we're

Get it! Isn't it funny that we're Recapping a show that takes place in fucking Miami. Yeah, I'll call this day in Austin No, but we're really so glad you guys did come out here because it was treacherous so we really do appreciate it This is like very exciting to start our new tour off And by the way, I have to say something that is so, so, so cool is that we just found out yesterday in Forbes magazine that we were the number one most downloaded podcast by women.

So thank you, ladies. That's the only time my ass is going to be in Forbes. And you know what was funny? It was written by someone named paid advertisement, which I, what a creative name. I just thought that was so sweet. Also, I wanna say how to my family who's all here. Love you, God damn me.

I feel, I feel, I feel, I feel. So anybody who happens to talk to them, you don't know who Rhonda is, and you've heard nothing about that. Just kidding, love you, mommy. Oh, also, everyone in the audience has an obligation. They have to do me a favor, which is that somewhere over the past nine months, I've discovered that sometimes

when I'm not talking, I make a really prissy face. So if you see me going like this, just like make a gesture. Something like, you know. Honey, that's your face. You're not making a prissy face, that's your face. I have resting prisps. You have resting, it's your resting bend face. It's a very cute face.

Well, thank you. It's like you just discovered what potatoes, it's like someone finally let you taste potatoes and you were like, what's the big deal? Like, what's so great about that? You're like, it could be better. It could be better. Well, welcome to Watcher Crappens, a podcast

about all that crap on bravo. We just want to talk about. Now, it's been a long time since we've been in front of an audience. And it's also been a long time since we've been in front of an audience, and it's also been a long time since I've worn pants that are not made of elastic. We all got here. This will be five hours. That is your warning. Any husband's confused people. There's a whole room back there. Yeah, that's a bar. Go have fun. Yeah. The rest of us have some meat jammy. Oh, and just a quick one, because this is Miami,

we do a lot of terribly, probably offensive accents. Yes. Our goal is not to be stereotypical privilege white fucks. We are actually trying to sound like them. We're trying to sound like the specific people. And we're not. We miss the mark sometimes. So we apologize ahead of time.

But we're working on it. So we're working on it together. Yeah. But it just feels weird to be like, oh, well, you know Peter. It's, oh, well, you know Peter. Oh, well, you know Peter. Oh, well, you know Peter. Oh, well, you know Peter. You know, by the way, I do want to talk about Alexia

for one moment, which is that we have to open with a little Alexia. So I'm trying to figure out my relationship with Alexia right now, because I feel like everything she says is wrong. Yeah. But I still really enjoy her. And that's why she's fun, who wants to hang out

with someone right. Right. And so a lot she's fun, who wants to hang out with someone right. Right. And so a lot of people compare her to Teresa. They say, like, she's like the Miami Teresa. But I realized the thing is that I think the reason why I'm down with Alexia, but not so much with Teresa, is that Alexia's faster. Like, I can deal with stupid if it's fast.

Like, fast stupid I can deal with. But when it's slow and stupid, like Teresa being like, uh, what did that, uh, can't open up, doodadad? It's like, okay. But when Alexa's like, oh, what does the can opener do? I'm like, great. Speed helps. That's why my reputation is as a person who's good and bad.

Hi. Thank you. Yes. It was fast. Good know. Hi. Oh, thank you. You're like, yes. It was fast. You know. Also, Teresa's legitimately stupid, I mean. It's not like, I'm like, oh, she's so dumb. Not like that kind of dumb, like, really dumb.

Like, there are so many offensive words we can't even use in 2023 to describe. I'd tell them Teresa could be sometime. Teresa dumb, OK. Thank you. My name, okay. Think. My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my She's stupid. She's stupid. Alexia is not stupid. Alexia is very smart. She's just wrong. She just has dumb things. She's smart, but she says dumb things.

Yeah, she's incorrect, but she's not dumb. Also, she's incorrect in multiple languages. She is. So, you can be as stupid as you want, but if you can be stupid in more languages than me, you automatically win. You automatically smarter than both of us on some level, then. Yeah. Okay, so previously on, the real housewives of Miami.

I want to cook fish. And I want to adopt baby. But I adopted fish and cooked baby. Oh my god, like Nicole, like to be real, like honestly for real, like a not even kidding, like I heard you slept with like every doctor, like the hospital, like. Do you like know how hard it is to be like a doctor and pretty, like being able to fly any place, any time? Do you like know about that? I'm an alcoholic.

I'm drunk right now. I can't believe Lenny did this to me while I was teaching my kids about Hanukkah. You're telling people that I'm dating a married man? That's Lengdurg. Okay, what does it say? What does it say? What does it say? Okay, it's a movie of play settings, play settings. A movie with Julia Robb. Kirchens, Kirchens, shimmering Kirchens.

She's like a hooker. Flowers. She knows Richard gear and then she like bangs, Richard gear. Like it's a hooker. Well, it's like too much for me to do because I've got like so many things to do. I go traveling to the Cayman Islands and I've got to come back again and then she like bangs Richard gear like as a hook. Well, it's like too much Bring me to do it. I got like so many things like I go traveling to the Cayman Islands And I've got to come back again and then like I like wrestling. He's watching Marvel movies and it's like a new turtle And my children we have came right up. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Okay, you know what?

I'm not sorry. Let me take that back. I'll hit you on. Guess what? Your boyfriend isn't married after all. You know what happened? It's scrolled. I kept scrolling. I went to MiamiData.gov, but I didn't know you had to scroll

all the way to the bottom. I know. Oh, also, bad news. So they're not serving big maximum McDonald's. Oh, they are, they are, they are, they are. Just big Macs and McDonald's. And sing. And sing.

Yeah. That's what it's doing. Most of these are already written for us. Yeah. But Miami does this thing. They really do steal from Ten Hovellas. Like, I don't know if any of you grew up on this. I did.

And so those will be like, in un momento. I'm like, oh, what's going on? And then it happens in the next minute. You're like, why'd you just tell me it was going to happen? 20 seconds ago. And this show does that. They're like coming up on Miami. Well, actually, the show does start off with the Viratilin Nevela thing

because we see like a lightning bolt across Miami. And then it's like the most dramatic thing of all time. Marisol getting out of a car. Come on, you gotta get out. Come on, you gotta get out, come on. You gotta get out, you gotta go, come on now, come on. It's like, you gotta come on now. Come on, you gotta get out. Come on, you gotta get out. Come on, you gotta get out. Come on now, come on. It's like, you gotta come on now. Come on, you can do it. Come on. He's not coming out. Come on, you gotta come out. Look, you're not gonna come out. I don't

want you to come out then anymore. You know what? If you're gonna do this, this is, you know, I can't help you. I can't help you anymore. Okay, you gotta get up. Okay, you gotta get up. Bro, bro, bro. This is a good, no, this is not how it works, bro, bro. He's actually a pretty good seat, it's a good seat. Actually, I'm not mad at this, I'm not mad at it, I'm not mad. Bro. That was a lot for people at home, Ronnie just crawled through my legs. The most intimate moment we've ever shared together. That's actually a first, believe it or not, after all these years.

Also, my knee sure don't work like they used to. Sorry, for anybody who got excited about that quick sex part of the beginning. I know, that was exciting. Yeah, so Marisol can't get out of cars. We've learned. So they're going to this and she, my spray tans coming off, shut up.

So they're going to this place. The only doctor I really approve of going to, right? The only doctor who can actually fucking do something for you. You could have a regular doctor, you're like my heart hurts, you're fat. Okay, well, my knee hurts, you're fat. Okay? I have arthritis.

No, it's fatness, you know? This kind of doctor, they're like, let me help you. And they just start shooting you up with shit, poking your face with stuff, freezing you. I've kind of the point where I've gotten so much Botox, I actually have skin horns because these are the only two muscles up here

that will still move and they're getting worked out more than these muscles. Do you see them? Actually, I haven't talked about it. No, I haven't seen your skin hold. They're two little dots, and they're growing. Wow. That's a doctor.

That's how many works for their money. Sounds like an insom Miami medicine, as described in this scene. Well, first of all, the scene is also hilarious because Alexia tries to walk through the door with a full umbrella open. She's like, whoa, bro. Oh, my God. Oh, you have to close the umbrella

before you walk in the door. Oh, my God. This door. I didn't realize you had to keep this umbrella in the door. It's really like the dark. Close the umbrella. By the way, she always states very obvious things as if she's just like just discovered it.

For the first time, guys, you have to close the umbrella if you want to go through the door. Why things do not go through things that aren't as wide. Watch out for this. Watch out for this. Watch out. Watch out for it. It's not as wide as the umbrella.

You gotta stop. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. She's also doing really quick head shake thing. I'm just gonna do this. You notice that? I thought my TV is starting out. She'll do this.

Shake your head. She does. She shakes her head for everything. It's weird. It's like, she's stuck on She does. She takes her hat for everything. It's weird. It's like she's stuck on something. It's trying to restart. Also, she's always trying to teach Mary-Sole Spanish. Mary-Sole knows Spanish.

Like, you hear Mary-Sole speak and Spanish all the time. But Alexia, every episode teaches her a new word. She's like, oh my god, I cannot go in there like that, because La Sombrilla. Marisol. Marisol. Sombría. Sombría. If Alexia were my duo, Lingo, I would be speaking Spanish.

Like, I would be taking lessons every single day. We'd be like, Sombría. So they get in and this guy comes over. Marisol goes, hey, fat doctor. I was like, whoa. This is guy named Raphael. That would be nice if it was the other doctor because he was a little chunky.

Yeah. If I was the doctor, I would be like, get out, you fucking drunk, get out now. Hi, fat doctor. Fuck you, you old drunk. Are we just walking around labeling everybody now? This doctor to me, Raphael, I don't know if he was actually a doctor, but the need sort of looked like someone who was on the real world in the 90s,

but you forgot about. Like someone got kicked off out of the house, they brought him in for the last three episodes, like I know you from the 90s. He's one of those people who goes to the gym and scrubs. I mean, he ain't a doctor, shut up Rafael, fucking liar. And it works every time, even though we know they're not a doctor, I'm like, I still fuck that guy. Yeah.

He may not be a doctor, but he actually took the effort, he made the effort to get the uniform, and that's something. Yeah, that's true. So he comes over with, he comes over with little drinks, and he's like, hey,, girls, your drinks are ready. There are 72 calories, fresh water, fresh, fresh watermelon, and one ounce of vodka. I don't need you to tell me my drink is 72 calories, right?

I just want to have my drink. Yeah, I mean, no. No, you need the calories for it. You got to count it later even if you're drunk, Ben. I can be making an effort. Do you know how fun it is to keep calories? You guys have to, it's so fun. I feel like I'm saying fuck you to the computer every night.

I'm like, and it's snickers bar. Fuck yeah! It's like you're over. You're over again, you're out of danger. High and sodium, you're not supposed to have this much fat. I'm like, fuck you. Here's a manual ad. Fuck you.

13,000 fucking calories. My fitness, fuck face. I fucking get you. Die. Die. Sorry. I told you it's going to be like, this whole, enjoy the next two hours of Marisol Little

likes you at the fat doctor. So anyway, the fat doctor gives people stuff to lose weight. I don't know what it is, because he doesn't give it to me, because all I drink is vodka. Why would you bring me to a doctor that does that? What do I look like I need to lose some weight? What do I? He's also an umbrella doctor. Oh, okay.

Okay. He's my favorite person that I've met in the past four months. So specific. So they're going to be getting some sort of like injection And Marisol doesn't even know what's, it's like cement. And she's like, I don't know what's in it. And I just inject myself. But I trust him. He's smart, he's hardworking.

He doesn't look like he's even touched a school, let alone a medical school. Give me all of that. I don't get any of that. We just hang out, so he's your Coke dealer. By the way, Marisol this whole time is like, yeah, it's real and great. The shots are really good, Rafael. Really good.

I'm like, are you massaging the stones of cocaine up your knock? What are you doing? It's a Versace Mansion. I then Alexi does one of my favorite things, which is the really clunky house. So I have a transition because Marisol Bayesley says, oh yeah, this guy's good looking and he's nice, he has nice matters.

Oh, well speaking of manners, Nicole didn't have any at my house. I was like, okay, sure. She sure to respect my home, because that's my home, and that's my time. So she should respect it. And so then we cut to Mary's, Mary's still holding a furious Alexa back at this lawyer party, the way. And so then we cut to Mary's soul holding a furious Alexa back at this lawyer party. The way this lawyer party lunch in where they all were supposed to ask how Lisa is supposed to get properly dumped from this rich doctor.

Yes. So Mary's soul holding back the Lexi going, you're rude. Hold it. She's paying for his time. And Nicole going, you want an A-Mex? Do you want an A-Mex? Fine. I have an A-Mex. And you want an A-Mex? Fine, I have an A-Mex.

And she gets her card just throws it at the lawyer. And Mary so I was like, she did it with fervor. Like, she was proud of it. And Alexis, like, since when do you pay a tarnished with M? Are we supposed to feel bad for lawyers getting M-Mex's thrown at their heads? No. I'm not doing that.

Well, but then she said this really funny thing, because she's like, since one due pay interns by just taking an American Express got in throwing it at them, okay? Like that's something you do with a strip mall. Oh, not a strip mall. Strip club. A strip club in a strip mall.

Okay, like where do you drop clubs? Add a stripper. Add a stripper. I'm like, wait, what strip club is she going to where she's throwing? Credit cards at the stripper. Yeah, that's my anger. You anger supposed to do it at strip clubs People like what this year coming to like oh

Got those amics is good heavy to it's assaults. They are some places You throw an amics at me. I'll walk behind you doing my job all goddamn day. I'll recap your whole life I'll be like Marion is looking at an orange with her bare hands during COVID. Isn't that sweet? Oh, Marion and the ten items are less-lained with 12 items. Here's Marion for you everybody. Pickier about oranges not too picky about weaves. Are we marrying? Okay, it's like, God damn, I'm never throwing my amnesty to you again, you're a monster! So, so yeah, so there's just like a noise with Nicole.

Alex is like, you know what? She asked me to my last hair. So, then we go over to Nicole, FaceTiming Julia. Mm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And then you literally, you're like, oh, it's like sad thought, blah, blah, blah. My hand has diaper now. Oh. You know, I'm sitting in front of my laptop right now and I just feel like the last time that we got together, it was like a lot of conflict.

And Lars is like, we cut to Lars and I, you're like, say it like. But they can't even, like, honestly, to Lars and I. You're like, fake like. But they can't even, like, honestly, to be honest with you right now, you look totally fake and I like, can't even. And then we see Adriana saying, like, I don't know what's going on,

but I don't know why you're saying that I'm going out with a married guy. Okay, he's not married. And then Alexia is saying, like, oh, well, you know what, you're going out with, it's really hard to read these accents. It's really hard. It's really hard.

This is why. In real hospital, my aunt, he said, you have to say, you just got to watch this shit. Really? So the call just decided. She's like, yes, you know what we're going to do because there is so much conflict? I think we should have like a redo trip. I was like, yes, you know what we're gonna do? Because there was so much conflict. I think we should have like a redo trip.

I was like, well, don't invite Lisa because it's not gonna change. Lisa's in that place where all in when we break, well, especially when we get broken up with. Fuck that guy. You can be anywhere to take in my order for dinner. I'll be like, I got them. How the fuck are you?

Great. Great. Yeah, so she wants to do a trip to the Bahamas this time instead of Key West. And Julia's like, oh, great. Can I bring small wooden table? OK, I guess you can. I bring Doth and Dite Bear.

There are so many bigger, but I mean, have you noticed I'm a Nicole Talks in her interviews? She always looks like she's holding an invisible apple. She's always like, she's like, there are so many bigger, I mean have you noticed that my Nicole talks in her interviews, she always looks like she's holding an invisible apple. She's always like, she's like, there are so many bigger things to think about. Stop shaking that invisible apple at me. There are so many bigger things to think about than our petty things. So we have to just remember that we're friends. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's coming. remember that we're friends.

Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder 's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. I'm so... So, back to Mary Sol and Alexia and Rafaia. Mary Sol is like, I'm all about this gringo dinner.

As long as all three courses are mine! She pulls out a little trombone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, I'm not going to disinvite her, like that's not what I do. Well, you know, like if she thinks she's supposed to be there, then she'll show up and she'll say, sorry. So, then we cut back to Rafael and he goes, okay ladies, come on, we need to get to the leoport tropics, the fat burners. And Alex, he goes, I need to know what's in this. He just told you it's leoport tropics. What else do you need to know? So then Tom Gerardi, the doctor, comes out. LAUGHTER

It's like if Tom Girardi and like the Komish. The Komish. What's his name again? He's sealed Michael Chicklis. Michael Chicklis. He's like tired Michael Chicklis. If Michael Chicklis had just driven off a cliff in Pasadena, it'd be this doctor.

He's a very tired Michael Chicklis. And I like that he hates Mary Sol on site. So he comes out and he sees Mary Sol and he goes, oh, Mary Sol, what is it? I see, by the way, you're wiping a trinose that Rafael has already served you. She's like, I'm getting my friend a shot and a... Sepuro.

Wait, by the way, we agree this guy's not a doctor, right? He's clearly someone who works at the community theater that age around his music video director, or it's at, right? Ladies, ladies. He's not a doctor. He doesn't even want to administer the shot. He makes Marisol do the shot. He's not a doctor.

It's like when you're trying to choose your health care provide, like when you get your new insurance and they're like, you have to pick your primary doctor and scrolling through that is the scariest tinder of all five. Oh, I've never done that before. The only ones who are available, I'm like, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e So now they have this shot thing where Alexi is like, oh my god, I cannot take a shot. This is crazy, I'm not gonna take a shot.

You're not gonna put that in me. No. No, no, no, no. You're not gonna put that in me. Girl, you are married to the biggest cop dealer in Miami. You can take a shot. No, I mean. Oh, and then she asks, what's in there?

And he goes, oh, it's just a fat burning shot we make. I'm like, is this a jambajus? But yeah, but how do you do it? And Mary is still like, and see, the eye itself administer all the time. The lady who just said two seconds ago, I never take this, only my friends do. I...

So, yeah. So, Mary, please don't ever let Mary so give me a shot. It's just like the worst idea ever. So then we have the whole thing of Alexa. So, Marisol, please don't ever let Marisol give me a shot. It's just like the worst idea ever. So then we have the whole thing of Alexa. Oh, no, I'm really scared of needers. I'm really scared of needers.

Oh, no, bro. I can't do it. I'm scared. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, well, you know Peter would never do this. Okay. Bro. Bro. Bro. All right, ready? That was it. It didn't feel like much.

It didn't feel like much. Not a bad shot, I'll be honest about it. You should be a doctor. So then she's like, that's it? That's it? And then they hug and kiss. That's if they just went through, like, as if they just got off a rollercoaster

That had malfunctions. Oh, we made it. We got through the shot So then we go to who okay, you know, I have a thing for weight weight staff and service staff on Bravo Just from doing being in service so long. I'm like just shut up You know, everyone comes on and they start doing like a triple time step. I'm like, just give me my cheat. You know, my fucking Friday, onions, or whatever. But this show really has the good quality cast. So this guy is like a tough Russian.

I don't know, I think he's a spot. What do you think? No, a spot. A spot, right? Yeah. Because Julie is there and she's like, Oh, wow, what the hell coming? He didn't even welcome her. He just watches her slowly sit down.

I'm like, oh my god, what's a welcome? LAUGHTER And then she goes, oh, I don't know. Should we do shot? And he's like, you these never do early for shot. So sinister. You take your shot now. Yeah. So, it's gonna shot the clock somewhere. You'll take your shot now.

So Adriana shot the clock somewhere. There's many left foot that are under seat. So Adriana comes and joins up and everything. And they start talking and she's like, Oh Adriana, we haven't talked since Lexi's brunch. Went God pooped in diaper, but diaper was not on God. Well, actually, I'm quite upset because I felt scolded by hostess. Okay? I felt like I was walking into the lion's den.

And then we see a clip of them fighting Amy Duranah going, you should apologize for the flander. Hidurana saying slander is my favorite old-time thing. And how that this show has been on 10 years or whatever, like technically not, but she used to say that back then, like, that is slander. So then she starts, yeah, she starts reflecting about how it's so sad

where they are in their relationship because, you know, they're always there for each other through all the highs and the lows on the show. I'm like, have there been highs on the show? That's it all just been like a set, a steady series of lows. Well, yeah. And then we see the clips of the proof that they're always there for their highs and lows. Has it all just been like a setting a series of lows? Yeah, and then we see the clips of the proof that they're always there for their highs and lows.

That's literally the only parts there therefore. When somebody dies, or it's true though, all the clips are like, oh, I'm sorry, your mom died. I was like, that's not a long relationship. You say that to anybody who's mom died. So, Julia, like, let's go to the Thai legal stores to get evil eye removal, good luck, charms to take with us on the trip.

Or, if not wet, then good. Let's get good. Well, I've tried calling adoption agencies. I forgot to tell you. And there's a waiting list, a fort waiting list. And, you know I asked the lady I said do you have restrictions for same sex marriage? No God share room with chicken

Okay, some people don't like that Some people don't like that. LAUGHTER So, Adriana is like, well, also you're old. She's like, yes, and she said this too. You know, after 50, it gets, yeah, it gets fucking hard. Would you let your wife live a life? She's 60 years old. Get off her nuts. Yeah, look.

My God. Let Marchina hit tennis balls at canvases and sell that art, you know? She's easy breezy. I'm 50 and I'm gonna have a baby. Fuck you, your kid doesn't want to take care of you. No, Martina just wants to sit in a bark-alonger and watch the tennis channel, okay? Day-on, okay? Do you want to be Andy Cohen in this situation?

He looks extremely exhausted. No offense, sir, but Jesus. He looks exhausted. Or do you want to be Lenny who just started dating a child? No offense, sir, but Jesus. He looks exhausted, or do you want to be Lenny, who just started dating a child? I'm looks happy as hell. Okay. Keep your morals outside.

I'm saying, how would you be happier? Who would you be happier as? Lenny is the happiest trying. I see a lot of smiling faces in here. None of them were as big as that prunes. None of them. I'll tell you who's the happiest. God. God.

So, like, let's go to the next scene, like. So, Larissa Pippin comes in dress like a grape-like to Lisa's place. She's like, hello, I'm from the limb. She literally looks like one of the frugal loom characters, right? She's like, where are my friends like? Okay, Lisa's house looks like one of the houses from Grand Theft Auto. I don't know if any of you play that. Just a terrible, awful cartoon mansion.

It's like, I want columns. Give me the biggest fucking columns. It's like, I want columns. Give me the biggest fucking columns. It's horrible, it's terrible. And Larza is like one of the ground-thrift out of people. She is like an asset. Like that. Like those cutscenes. Yeah, like the new pink.

Can you do me a favor? Can you pick up a package from me across town? Or make it worth it? And then like a mission comes up on screen. Can you pick up a package from me across town? Or make it worth it? And then like a mission comes up on screen. It's Larsa. So with the filter and everything, I'm like, here we go. Another GTA scene.

So Larsa comes over and she's like, hi, miss you so much. Harry, well, first she goes, hi, and Lisa goes, hi, I'm having such a rough morning. And she's like, yeah, so how's it going? So Lisa's like, not good, it's not good. He looks skinnier, that's not good. I was like since when, since when is that not good? Then this is bad when it relates to sadness now.

What's the fucking point of sadness? Yeah, well I'm finding out some more bad news. He told me himself, okay? I know this is next move. He's gonna try to kick me out and put me on house until it's international. Don't you bend one month. You can do mad on her.

I want to be in the center of town, on the edge of town, and on the outskirts of town in one house My budget is eight million dollars. Can you find me a two-bedroom? It's a lot of noise from the road. I've always wanted a swimming pool for a bed. Uh-oh Popcorn ceilings popcorn ceilings. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now take them someplace else. He's a horrible, horrible, terrible person. And if this doesn't end with him being set on fire,

and like, he needs to set out in the coldest sack. He needs to be wicker man. But I think everyone does know that as terrible as whatever Lisa is going through, Lars has also been through it, guys. Always. Guys, so Scotty never treated me like this because I was married to Scotty Bippen in case you didn't know.

It was just not easy like this. We thought it wasn't so abrupt. It was just months and months and months of me being in all the headlines of every newspaper in the world. Yeah, but like it's so hard because we're like famous and so like I'm going through it, but then I'm also like seeing it everywhere. It's like all over the world. Yeah, I totally get it because like I'm like so famous. It was everywhere, like everywhere. People were saying like she's like cheating on like seriously, not even in a lie. She's like cheating on Scotty and I like wasn't like like we weren't even like together then like and then it's headlines

Larser Pippin gets new face to hold on to the past while banging the rapper named future Kahnundra... Come dumb dumb. Oh, my God. Our divorce was so famous, I got calls from Dubai, letting me know that my warranty was expiring. She did say that, right? Like, they were calling her from Dubai.

I got a call from Dubai. What the fuck does that mean? It's so famous. I got a call from Luxembourg, guys. It's a missing number, but it still was really exciting. I'm so famous, even Sikhs cared. What are you talking about? I'm so famous, I was actually in Whartle.

Larsa, look it up. June 13th. So, at least it's like, oh my God, I have to think of the breath. I have to take one every time I open the people magazine, my face isn't there. He's making me sick. Just to sick as I get every time I turn on the news and see my face. I was so sad when I wasn't alerted, present, because I was so sad when I wasn't alerted present because I was so famous. I was running on a platform of XYZ.

So... Lars is like, oh my god, you know what I did? Like, I just chose like, I'm gonna just like choose happiness. LOL, you chose to marry a man worth 90,000 trillion, $1,000, okay? You didn't choose happiness before you divorced it and then you divorced it so you could stay happy, okay? You just choose happiness.

Happiness costs money. I just don't know. I don't let Oprah tell you different. I don't know, I don't know happiness was the rebrand for only fans. That's all. So Lisa puts her hands dramatically over her nose. Like she just got hit by a football. She's like, listen, I know divorce is hard,

but look at it this way. You could be divorcing a poor person. That's a great spin. Yeah, that's a great spin. So one did, okay, so now this song. Is what I'm saying? I'm not saying that. could be divorcing a poor person. Oh, that's a great spin. You know? Yeah, that's a great spin. So one day, okay, so now this song, what's our bonus Adrianna just doing all these songs?

I think she is. These songs are so stupid. She is. Okay, this one's like, tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt tt What night in Miami? Speak Spanish. That was a transcription of that song.

I believe that was co-written by Fat Doctor. So, hey Fat Doctor, get the fuck out. So we're at a restaurant called Ballin Chain, which feels appropriate. And it's like a quadruple to Antsick, quadruple, ding. For everyone who's an alcoholic like me. So. Ring, ring.

So Mary Sol and her weirdo husband are there. That kind of just kind of like an age and gay sock puppet, right? I don't believe that he's even his own person. I've never seen him move on his own. And he's always real close to Mary, so like this. I... LAUGHTER

So it's kind of like her hands up there is something weird going on with this guy. It's like a balloon. So, so Lexia is like, oh well, you know Peter, I'm like still really upset with Nicole because she still has not called me to apologize and she has to know that like what she did in my house was wrong and rude and she's showing up at dinner tonight

and like how could she do that? This is like what I wanna know. How can she do that? I'm gonna shake my, and she's gonna try to walk through that door with a wide umbrella. I'm telling you that right now. She's gonna try a wide umbrella. to that door with a white umbrella. I'm telling you that right now.

She's going to try a white umbrella. Todd is wearing a black blazer with a white stripe. They go straight up and straight down. You is a Brooks Marx. Is that a Brooks Marx? It does look like a Brooks Marx. Hi. It's a Brooks Marx knockoff.

What's a... You can take the man out of stat and island. You know what, Ronnie, you're being very condescending right now. Yeah, you're being very condescending right now. It looks like that's the most effective. It looks very nice, right? No, I'm not being the real lawyer. But I'm behalf of the director.

I'm not being the real lawyer. I'm not being the real lawyer. No, it's a little bit of question. Someone said that they meet the director. You're being very condescending about, right now. I'm not sick. I don't like it. You know I know the director because they told me. He was loyal. He was working on the setting of that, like two people. I'm upset. I don't like it.

You know why you know they're upset because they told me. They told me. I'm upset. They said I'm upset because it's a fine track. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Todd. Wow. Wow, Todd. Yes. And for the next seven years on this podcast. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. So the producer is like so cast who out of the husbands is the most gringo out of all

the gringoes. So, yeah, so then Nicole saying, you know, that she says that that rostling Steve for the most gringo, because at least Anthony has half cube and in stuff. And then we find out what a gringo technically is. Because you may think you might know what a gringo is. Yeah, I guess you know what? The real housewives, the real housewives of Miami

have some education for you. Well, in Gringo is like a super American, too. Ring, Mac, Daring, and the Korean War, the Americans arrived in a green uniform and Ring, Ding, Ding, Splenka, harp. Ring, Ding, Ding, Ding. And they just put up a big, ah, false. Gringo, gringo, gringo is God that is green.

Gringo. Gringo is when you have a boob, docks, a husband, and he divorces you and you watch the gringo. Ah! I'm gonna do that. Hey. Hello, I'm Kiki. And gringo is when you need to dick. Yeah. Yeah, gringo.

So then Alexia says, well, back in the Mexican word, the like, you know, it's Mexican. And they would say, gringo. And so they were like Americans. And they goes, ding! More correct. And Bravo's like, we'll just leave it. We'll leave it.

And then she goes, but here in Miami, like we say it like it's like a nice thing. Like, oh my little gringo, you know, because like, I've never gone with a gringo before taught. So I say, oh my little gringo, you know, like that. I don't necessarily think that that's the truth. I'm going to be caught on the land. So now Anthony is actually, like,

Anthony's like a dick, right? And so he's sort of like, he's kind of like a little butthurt that he's lumped in as a gringo. He's like, how am I a gringo? I mean, my last name is Lopez. What's the deal? And Todd's like, yeah, yeah, what, you know what? There's gonna be a contest at the end of the night.

It's gonna be who's the most gringo. Who's the most gringo? Who is the most gringo? You see what I'm saying? Gringo. Statin Island wins, okay? Yeah, Statin Island. I think in Texas, we think like,

well, we've seen some pretty white people. Girl, Staten Island. Staten Island's a different kind of white. It's like a very, Staten Island wins, trust me. I lived there for one year when I was 18. They win, they win. So they talk about Nicole's kid getting better at Spanish and Nicole's like, yeah, I speak like Miami Spanish, you know, which is like slang.

So my kid speaks actual Spanish because he learns from school and he'll be like, and then I'm like, what does that mean? Like what is that? And Alexi's like, yeah, what does that mean? I don't like that. It's our teaching. The kids that. It's like, what does that mean?

What does that mean? It's said it means mom, is that a dump truck? Alexia is very puzzled by this. I love that. I just thought that was so funny. Like, their kids are punching them, I think. So then, so now, now food, now we have this whole like, human food moment where all this food comes.

And then everyone has like, they're, like they're, they're they're they're testifying for Cuban food so like gurgy's like oh this is the best food I ever had in my life this is like I adore the Cuban food honey it's like island food it's like rice it's like chicken it's like plantinosis it's like materials it's like tables it's like chairs it's like a ceiling and a roof and like this is sidewalk outside and a road the road to another house and inside there's a not a table inside there and then there's a watching marvel and it's my children are there and I'm not there but we're playing games but I'm not and inside, there's a not-the-table inside there. And then there's a watching Marvel and it's my children are there and I'm not there, but we're playing games, but I'm not there yet.

And there's a turtle now. It's exciting. It's like, whoa. Dirty. Mary soul is like, I'm not eating unless I can have a plate of ball video. I'm an alcohol, I'm cocky, I'm cocky. I'm cocky, I'm okay. So they talk about makes them all talk. Like, hey, Russell, how come you haven't been in the fireman's catalog before one of those sexy calendars or whatever? And he's like, well, I don't know, I really.

You know, because when you're in one of those things, like you get fans, I don't know that I really want that. They didn't want it's personality to overshine the other firefighters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Breath feels like a flame that's about to go out.

It's just like, it's appropriate for his job. Yeah. It's just like, I want to be, I want to manifest what I want to happen. There's nothing better for a fireman than a wet blanket. You did it, Russell. You did it. And that's a hot wet blanket too. Yes.

Don't speak. Don't speak, Russell. So then, um, it turns really quick here, right? Yeah, because Alexis are talking about Frankie, because she's setting Frankie up at this wonderful new foundation. Oh, you know this, this foundation, you know what they do. They set kids up like Frankie,

and they set him up with his passion, you know? So they want to evaluate Frankie, you know? So now they're out there looking for a job, where you go help pretty ladies and tell them that they're pretty. They're out there looking for a job where you go help pretty ladies and tell them that they're pretty And by the way, I didn't like how you acted on my house Nicole. It's like whoa. Oh, oh, I never reminds me Me

Watch out for Alexia because you could be anywhere and she's just gonna pivot on you She can make anything she's talking about getting her a special needs sun help through a foundation and switches like, by the way, your rude. That reminds me. Like imagine her, like literally imagine her if she was like Austin's weather woman and be like, so there's freezing rain, you got to stay off the roads. And that reminds me, a sports guy.

You were very rude the other moment. I'll tell you. I don't like the way you were acting the other day. I didn't like that sports report. That's it. So she's like, yeah, because Frankie saw us. He saw us in the house when we got the lawyer to give us advice. And he saw us fighting.

And he went like this, because we were fighting. And he was like, why are they fighting like that? You know? At the visual clip, by the way, of the fighting. And it's like a Lexia screaming. Everyone's like, you don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you're doing. So she's like, you know, it was supposed to be

about family law, okay? But my friends over here have decided like, it would turn into something else. It's like, well, maybe it was about family law and other legal matters, but the other legal manager like below the fold or something like that. I don't know. I'm the goal turned it, because they're like,

okay, who has questions about family law? And the quote was like, hey, would you know about slander? Let's talk about defamation of character, because that's what Larsa did to me, saying that I slept with everybody from the hospital. And so then Alexi is like, that's not his law. OK, so we were asking questions about family law.

And it doesn't matter. He's a lawyer. So people ask me all the time, like, I've got something in my eye. I'm not an ophthalmologist. And Alexia literally goes, I actually had to think about that one. So Nancy's like, well, I mean, he went to law school. So we should know what the definition of defamation is.

Oh, yeah. Well, so you know what? So does Nicole, because she looked it up on the Google. And she married you Anthony, and everyone knows what defamation of character is already. You don't need to do it in my dinner. It's my home. Well, maybe it was important for someone who was there.

Maybe they didn't know about it. Well, let me address that I did not have a problem with you asking a question, but it's the fact that you went to your purse and you went to get your black American express card. You know what? And then you throw it. And you know what? You're a professional, Nicole, and this was not professional. It was rude.

Point for Marisol. Point for Marisol. And Anthony's like, what do they have dessert here? Chocolate. I got some chocolate here, something. And Gertie's like, I'm they have dessert here? Chocolate, I got some chocolate here or something. And Gretty's like, I'm just trying to get all the details. Like, why?

Why was everybody asking so many questions? Were they asking questions? Did it come out of nowhere? What was happening? Oh, this sounds so crazy. So I'm wrong. I'm wrong because I asked a question that no one wanted answered publicly. Like, that's malicious.

That's malicious. You are wrong because you threw a credit card in somebody's lap and you know what that is? Rude! It wasn't a stripper you don't throw a credit card in his lap. Right. It's rude. And you know what you've on since I've known you nothing now one thing you have not on one thing since I Not wrote you All right, Alexia, you know what we'll send him some flowers and we're very upset Your house I Know he's a professional and you're gonna say you can

Does he want chocolates? No, that depends me. That depends me. Floppers in chocolates. What if he's a loaded to chocolates? Who's fucking you? That's not right. Really, you're gonna send chocolate to him

and I'm gonna fuck a monster on you. You're gonna fuck a chocolate. Who's your fucking chocolate? I don't want your fucking chocolate. Please use the real lawyer. He's got a real fucking job. You know what? And Todd's like, you know, he's a professional

and Anthony goes, I'm a professional too. And I take American Express. So. Oh. Well, you know what? You know what? He's a friend of mine for 30 years. OK.

That he is. I'm willing. I'm being as quiet as I can. OK. Your attorney, and he doesn't place a billboards to cross the city to fix leaky bikes. Awesome. Now he's going to come for Anthony

for his shady lawyer business. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah now he's gonna come for Anthony for his shady lawyer business. Yeah. Oh, my God. I need more specificity. And I love that in Miami, this storyline, that's you, just like, you're a shitty lawyer and you're a fraud, is what he just said, basically. In the Anthony's like, can I get some fucking dessert

over here? Like, nobody even cares, it's Miami, you know? But we all know, like, next season on Miami is like, oh, Anthony's been defrauding his clients, right? Like, yeah, but all of them, though, that's why it's funny to watch him throw each other, the husbands go at each other, because what is this guy do?

It was fucking Todd from Staten Island, you know? Todd comes to Miami, he's a property manager, someone's gonna kick my ass back there, Staten Islanding, I see you, Staten. It's like, I'll kill, I'll fucking kill you. I'm just saying, like, you got Todd here. He's a property manager, but he lives in a penthouse with cars parked on the inside

that have their own elevators. No, sir. No, no. And to this, I say, go at it, boys. Go at it, boys! So, Todd and Alexia are just totally worked up about this. They're both basically tag teaming. They're going out from Nicole and Anthony.

You know, like, you know what, you're both the same, I'm sorry, you're both the same. You know, it's like, you're gonna go, you're gonna send a girl, man, flowers. Hey, this is when the guy with chocolate, this aren't you. And Anthony actually gets offended. He's like, I'm not gonna send good diver chocolates. I'm gonna send something better. Oh yeah, yeah, you would say that. You fucking would say that.

You know what? Cause this guy doesn't even work in a real law firm. Okay? This guy, this guy, what, this guy. Okay, I remounted this five times, and Pete Cock said in distinct. It was not in distinct. Peacock tried not to get his little feathery ass sued,

but it was not in distinct. He says, it's because he doesn't work for a real law firm. He works for a firm for free. What? What? What? What? It's coming.

I'm getting there. I love you. You're like a vocal. What do you call I'm getting there. I love you. You're like a vocal. What do you call the things you read? I love you. I love you, and I will fucking kill you, too. OK. I love you.

I love you too. Guyate. All right. So then Alexia goes, because you know what? It's not nice. OK. Doctors stick together. Do you do that to your colleagues in the hospital?

You don't support them in what they say. So now Alexia is like, you're being a bad lawyer because you're not supporting a fellow lawyer. I'm like, do you know what lawyers do for a living? You know they literally go to a room and battle. Yeah, that's a good point. And so they have to be just goes, what are you fucking talking about? so, um, they have to, he just goes, what are you fucking talking about?

First of all, we're assuming that the guy was even offended. Oh, let me tell ya. Let me tell ya, he was fucking offended, all right? I know him for 30 years, all right? Yeah, he's like, you know what? Let me tell you something. Okay, you work in a law firm of three people. He's like, what? Who works a law firm of three people, and he's like, what?

Who works a law firm of three people? You know, three fucking people. You got three people. I got 187 employees. You got three. Most of them are janitors, yes. Three. And Mary Saul goes.

Oh, no. Mary Saul is just gonna just keep saying rude. And Todd says, start fighting about the chocolates again and stuff. And then Alexia's like, you know what? You know what was happening in the poll? You were trying to be a smartest and it didn't work. And I thought you were gonna call me this week

and I said, listen, I'm so sorry, I wasn't supposed to be like that. But guess what? You didn't call. How am I supposed to know your bothered unless you tell me Alexia? Honestly, I can't believe you don't know, but okay. And Gerdy's like, she goes,

why don't you just say sorry and marry so good? Just say you're sorry, you're rude. Say you're sorry, you're rude. So everything I do is wrong, okay? No one ever wants to see the things that are done to me, okay? Like, do you know how hard it was to buy that mirror for Larsa? That was wrong, okay? No one ever wants to see the things that are done to me, okay? Like, do you know how hard it was to buy that mirror for Larsa? That was difficult, okay? You know what?

You lost. Berita, Berita, Yula. That's it. That's how I'm ending every fight now. I don't care. I don't care if it's with the damn Bill Lady on the phone. You lost, Ber thing, baby thing. I know this is why I love Miami,

because it was only the 20-minute mark in the show. Like, this would have been like a three-part episode on Beverly Hills. Power Rangers being like, oh, but be open and honest. So then this is the point in the adoption journey that... What is happening with that man? That sounds like a sea creature being attacked. It is good.

So this is the point in Julia's adoption journey where she realizes it's not the same with your rich. She's like, I have problem, but then this man told me he met this lady and there is baby store. It's like, ba-a-a-, but tell them you are married to Martin and Avratel overworked icon. And now I have baby. And this is Richard. He is starting college soon. Like, damn, she moves fast. No, that was a lot of spit that just came out of me.

So that's why we have this. I've considered getting those like COVID, a bank, things, you know, like a Lexi glass. Yeah, like we're at a casino, like we're tellers. OK, so that's real. That's real. That's real. That's real. That's real talk.

So Alexia and Frankie show up to meet this foundation people. And they're both wearing matching baby blue and stuff, which is a super cute look for talk about independence with professionals. So it's actually, it's a very nice scene because, you know, Alexia is working on making Frankie more independent, which is wonderful. So they go to this organization, the Demoia foundation. And I just really like this scene because, you know, Frankie's like very sweet and everything. And it's like a very, very sweet moment about talking about, you know, Frankie's like very sweet and everything. And it's like a very, very sweet moment about talking about,

you know, becoming independent. And the woman who runs the foundation, Lily, I just love her because she's like no nonsense, you know? She gets a lady from succession. Do you guys watch succession? She's like, she's Jerry. She's Jerry. She's 100% Jerry. And she's like no nonsense with them too. She's like, so you're going to be independent now, are you? So can you take

an Uber or anything by yourself? Or I'm scared. I was like, well, you're going to have to not be scared. It's like, oh, okay, Lily. You're gonna need to get right over that immediately. You've got damn pussy. I'm like, carry! I'm like, carry! I'm like, carry! And then, like, Alexia's, you know, he's like, I just, he's like, I don't want to meet

a girlfriend. I just, I just want to like, use my mom. I just want my mom. I just, like, kind of like, just like, well, you know, your mom's not gonna be here forever and he's like, yeah,'s not going to be here forever. And he's like, yeah, she's not going to be here forever. OK, kid? Yeah.

And he goes, but she's my love. And Alexis is like, you don't want a girlfriend? You don't want a wife? And he goes, no, you. So I get the fuck over it, Frankie, all right? Let's take care. So then Alexis starts to tear up. Because this is such a sweet and emotional moment.

Yeah. And Frankie's like, Frankie's like, Mom, like mom, don't cry, don't cry. And then Lily goes, that's what moms do, be cry. So. You don't fuck around.

You don't fuck around. You don't fuck around. So then we go to Gertie, who is showing that she's like really loving with her family, because you know, every time she tries her family's like, God, neither, no.

Anybody want to pay straights? Like, no, you don't even know what your rate is. So today's scene, proving Gritty is like super loving and always with her family. She lets her kid get a turtle. Yeah, don't you get Salmanella from turtles? Is that a thing? I should probably research things before.

Salmanella, what were you eating the turtle? You're not cooking the turtle properly before you cuddle with it? You know what, going forward, I'm going to research all turtle facts before I come on stage. By the way, I also love this turtle. The turtle really still the show for me. I mean, Gurdie has been kind of struggling

to have captivating scenes. I mean, the heads- up thing was not my favorite, but the turtle was sort of a step in the right direction. Like, I like the turtle's reaction. She's like trying to pet the turtle, but she has these really long nails and turtles like. Yeah. And she's like, listen, I don't really like you either, turtle.

OK? But this is a situation that we're in. We're together right now. It's you and me, turtle. Do you just spread sheets on this side? You can stay. You can stay. All right, give them a carrot.

Give them a carrot. The Turtle has a little clipboard next time we see it. Verity, does that Turtle the fucking work? Yeah, this is the working turtle. So then we go to Lisa, Kiki, and L- Oh my God, this is like the saddest shed I've ever sat through to cheer your friend up. They're at 11, club 11.

It's spelled 11, but the L is two different ones, so it's a typo and numbers. So it actually looks like it says, 11, even. It's sad. And listen, we're gay. We've been to so many sad strip clubs where there's nobody there. But we're like, we're 40. And this is when we need to come to the strip club.

And then some worse stripper comes in a little early. I'm like one crutch. Where the like, I can still work. And then they kind of get up there, and they like maybe have a little trouble getting off there. We'll leave all of them there. And we're like, woo. You're doing it.

E for effort, come get your dollar. Okay, I'll bring it to you. I'll bring it to you. That is the scene. Okay, so nobody is in this club. No one, I mean, let's be honest, they probably filmed this at like one in the afternoon. That's the only time the club agreed to turn off their music so they could shoot a scene. So there's no men there.

No men. Only women. They're like some random tourists? It was like some families. The ladies are like, He was like some families. Who played these like? It was like there was a flyer at the Miami-Dade airport or at MiamiDade.gov that was like come to 11 and be a TV star. So they're doing that whole, oh my God party like, I can't even like believe that we're out here

because like you need to get some deep girl. And it's like I don't know, I can't believe letty do this to me. And that's the whole scene. It just keeps going. And like, no, but you know, he really need to do like listen to the beat of the music and like let it get through you.

And Lenny's a bastard. This is what I still love, everyone. This is all so far in for me, which has a lot of layers since I am an immigrant. I'm basically like the Canadian Fival. There was, Lenny actually had a cat. I felt very misled. I was told there were none of them.

It's like seeing that Liberty Bell being from Canada I felt very misled. I was told there were none of them. It's like seeing that Liberty Bell being from Canada and seeing that Liberty Bell for the first time just having a dumbing on the head because you never expected this to happen. Never in my wildest dreams that I ever suspect Lady Liberty was actually carrying divorce papers. actually carrying divorce papers. The first thing I ever saw in this country was when Lenny walked right up to the Lady Liberty and drew marks on her breasts where they needed to be enlarged and said, call me. I'll miss him.

Ha ha ha. So she's going on and on for 31 minutes and then finally, Kiki goes, Lisa needs a dick tonight. And we are gonna get us some dick. But then they don't pour Kiki, and she's really trying. She is trying, but there's no saving this.

God, by Kiki, just as for Kiki, like, we need more Kiki, disinvited from parties, and all she does is she just wants to make us happy. So then we go to the last scene, which is a restaurant called Amara. Okay, and this is another golden waiter scene. So this waiter, he does this. He's like, welcome to Amara. Would you like something to eat? Would you?

Do you want me to take you to special rooms? Do you? It's like Miami's version of a haunted house. Like, everyone else in the chilling, like a gay haunted house. Like, everywhere else a haunted house has like creaky floorboards and like blood on the wall and cobwebs, but in Miami, it's just like very stylish.

They've got some low-cal appetizers, but their waiters are clearly demons. Dirtimonic. Ooh. So, Nicole, they sit down. And there's like this weird, like, tracking shot of Alexi his purse. I really love this show.

They're like, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Alexi is walking all confidently, and they're like, zoom in on the purse. Dun dun dun dun dun dun like, dun dun dun dun dun. Alexi is walking all confidently. And they're like, zoom in on the purse. dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Now she's sitting down with the purse. It's only the purse in the whole scene.

Love this show. So, would you like some shrimp? Would you? Yes, each woman gets a walk into the restaurant. This is the godfather when they go and they get like, leave the canole, et cetera. The fabulous Godfather. Or take the canole, I should say. From this show, we'll be like, leave the canole.

Leave the gun and leave the canole. I'm not even going into the toilet. I don't even know if there's a gun in there. I'm not way. I'm going to the toilet with his purse, OK? It would be like a very ineffectual Godfather because every time there would have to be like a mob hit. Like, she'd say, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So they tried to start, and the call's like, listen, I swear to you, I was so taken off guard that you were even mad, because I didn't know you were upset.

And I swear, I tried to talk before the gringo dinner, but then when I found out you were mad, the waiter comes over and he's like, um, hi. Just so you know, she's cause. Are my favorite. Like, okay, okay, get the cheesecloth, get them. So Nicole's like, so like Alexia,

like you only see things through like your lens and like she's like, well, I was going to it myself. I mean, I was in my home, I was with my guests and like as a professional, I wasn't expecting you to do that Nicole. Like, I just want you to know. I just want to say to you, like, you know what I didn't, that I didn't see it that way.

Like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just didn't see it that way, Nicole. Yeah, but like, I'm saying I'm sorry, but like, I didn't see it that way while it was happening. It's like, what I'm trying to tell you right now. And it's like, oh, yeah. But why didn't you see it that way?

That's confusing to me. Like, you know why? Because that's part of who you are, huh? There's that how you are that you don't see it. Is that what you're saying? Like, you are, huh? Is that how you are that you don't see it? Is that what you're saying? Like you're the kind of person who you don't see it? Or really? And she says, you keep on saying, like, I'm sorry, but.

I'm sorry, but. I'm like, should we roll the footage of your apology for saying all Russian women are hookers? She's a like, yeah, she's a bit worse. She's the worst girl that fits. She is the worst projector right now, the worst. So she's like, yeah, how can you not see it? And so Nicole's like, I was coming from a very hurt defensive and triggered place because we all have boundaries.

And when it comes down to my profession and what I'm doing, that's a no go zone. profession and what I'm doing, that's a no-go-zong. Being a young Latina, Hispanic woman, and pretty, like, you know, how many fucking prejudices. This is where you're trying to be right. This is right here. This trigger trigger,

while you're trying to explain. I'm trying to explain, like, why you thought I was being malicious. I'm trying to explain it right now. Nope, nope, nope. I'm just explaining it. Nope, nope. I just want to explain it.

Nope, nope, nope, nope. I'm just explaining it. I'm just explaining it. Nope. Nope. I'm explaining it. You're not right. I'm explaining it.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. It is something I'm explaining. No, no. And so she's like, you know what? You can apologize because like a person when they apologize, you can't say put conditions.

And a person who does this is like a narcissist. This is a Nicole in her interview is like, I'm pretty sure that saying you're a star and that you're a born a star, like I mean, some people may think that's narcissistic behavior. And then we got a cut of one of my favorite moments of the season. Alexa going, I'm always going to be in the spotlight because I was born a star.

So Nicole's like, listen, I didn't go there with the intentions of fighting with you. She goes, oh, you know what? Did your actions, your actions have the intentions? Your actions have the intentions about it. It's like, damn, she's not going to let this go, right? So then Nicole's like, okay, white flag, white flag. How dare you? You want a piece of me? You want to be? No, it means like I surrender. Okay. You put on suspenders. I'll wait. I'll wait. I'll wait for you. No, no, I surrender.

Alexi, I surrender. I surrender. Okay, well thank you for putting some thought into it because that's all I'm saying. And then their friends. That's it. That's all. I love seeing you too. Oh my God, why people are like, right? Let's marry one.

Let's marry another one. Let's marry one together. I'm not stubborn. So then they start doing this thing where they act like they have not just had a huge fight. And then they're like, so now we can go on a trip together and have like so much fun. And we're gonna have so much fun. It's gonna be like so much fun. We're just gonna be like ambassadors for fun.

It's gonna be like the best time ever. Like us just being girlfriends, like real girlfriends, like having a good time. Three days later. Yeah. You know, the reason that Mary-Sold is not here is because she thinks that someone is doing witchcraft on her. Classical Larsa, you're misconstrued.

Classical Adriana, like seriously, to be honest, like seriously, honestly, like... Ah, she throws a drink. You give me barracuda look. What is barracuda? You're like, you're like fake. Yeah, you're like a fake bitch and you're jealous of all of us and you deserve everything that you get because you are a bad person. And then they're like...

Grinified, gratified, gratified, gratified, gratified, gratified, gratified, gratified, gratified. And then we just see Adriana being rolled in a wheelchair. Eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee. And that brings us to the end of real hot sides of Miami. Thank you all for being here tonight. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for braving the ice.

Good night, everyone. Thank you guys. We love you. Good night. Good night. Yeah. Come on. Let's give some to the fans.

Oh, my god. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you.

I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to you. I'm going to give it to every time I'm in, I'll let back. Hey, bitch. Hey, bitch. I only drink one water, love you guys. Hey, bitch. If you don't know, you're welcome to blow me back. Hey, bitch.

Hey, bitch. Everyday's a parade, don't even try to shake. Mackenzie's the dog's gonna face the bucket, But I pulled him all because when I played a red duck People like to think, what the fuck is that? I'm the mate, ask me lots of questions I answered everyone, head back Head back Head back

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