Watch What Crappens - Married to Medicine: Married to Doctor(ing of Documents)

Episode Date: December 26, 2019

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Yeah, that's gonna be awesome. And, you know, fingers crossed, maybe Bruce Springsteen will come to our show in Asbury Park. You never know. You never know. You never know. You never know. So today, we are going to be recapping the season finale

of Mary to Medicine, which we have, we skipped last week because that's only week we skipped. You know, I can't tell because every Mary to Medicine episode is like every other Mary to Medicine episode. It's hard to remember which ones were skipped and which ones were not skipped. I think we talked about it. I think we talked about it.

Yeah, we touched base. But we have not been giving it the proper amount of love. So we are here to do the season finale because of course, guess what? They're going to put their reunion at least the first part of it. Oh, Christmas break. We're not going to be here. So we're going to watch it, but we're not going to talk about it So, let's get on it, okay? We start with everybody just going about their business. Typical, this is what everyone's doing today. Simone is talking to somebody and saying, I definitely need to do something about those dive-roids.

Would you like surgery? Would you like me to scream it out of you? You know, that should be a Christmas Carol for next next year. I definitely need to do something about those thyroid. Oh, Santa, get me a new thyroid this year. I'm in a thyroid for Christmas. Oh, Jack. Okay, with that, that works for me.

Jackie is talking about how big Tiny's boobs are over at her office. Tiny of Tiny and GI and also of X-Cape, right? Yeah. And joking that Tiny's going to have another baby. And then Mariah is doing one of our time tested housewife storylines driving with her child. Did you get to drive? Yeah, Mariah and Aiden in the car with their daughter as she's like trying to make turns. Unlike Kenny has self-driving Tesla, this car seems to make all too many turns on its own.

Went the daughters behind the wheel. Hey, honey, she just made a turn. I know a I can see her. Ains just like Tatl tailing on the kid. Everything she does. He also looks terrified. He looks like me when I went on that crazy Ferris wheel at Disneyland. If you've been on the Ferris wheel, you know what it's like. Okay, you know. Everyone becomes a parent. When you get on that Ferris wheel, everyone becomes a parent whose kid is driving for the first time.

Like hands pressed on each side, like holding anything and just bracing for the worst. Yeah, these shows always talk about how terrified the parents are having to teach their kids to drive. How about we talk about how terrified the kids are to have to be driving with their parent? Okay, having ronda there right, Max. God damn it. No, no. No. It's like, oh my god, please. Terrifying. I just don't want to learn right, Max. God damn it! No! No, what's that?

It's like, oh my God, please. Terrific. I just don't want to learn to drive. I'll just take the bus. Yeah, seriously, it's hard. You know what, kids have it so hard. Kids, yeah, guys. It's fairly hard for kids.

Parents just don't understand. So, Toys that are housed with their party planner. General. Janon. His name is Janon. Like the yogurt? Oh, party planner. Janon. Janon. His name is Janon. Janon like yogurt, both of the J Janon. Oh God, poor guy probably has to hear that all the time. Janon. So, yeah, so Toya is planning her big like house reveal party, which is ironic because no one seems to be allowed in the house at this party later on.

But she wants to do like an Arabian night's theme and she goes, well, will Gina and I want to do buy ones and the archers in our home remind me of them because like in Dubai they got doors and we got doors. So what we're going to do is we're going to have an Arabian night's party. Um, yeah, it's basically the same. She's like, we got a lot of Dubai. But they don't really have much grass, but you know what I mean. You know, Dubai, they got like walls. So like, we want to, we got walls. So like, we got the party.

Also, you know what's great? You know what Dubai is great for women's rights. So that's, that's really fun for a show that celebrates women. Yeah. So now we get like our 10th house tour of Dube, of Dube, Toya's house. And it's like the entire house is basically empty because none of their furniture has arrived. The only thing that seems to have arrived

is there's one bed that has this crazy light blue super shiny duvet on it that immediately made me just go like oh, I don't I never thought about like what sort of duvet or you would get but then once I saw it I was like yep that's a toy or duvet that's like I feel like toy would also not not only be like shiny like that but be one of those ones that has X's, but then like little scrunches in the middle of the X's. Yeah. Like a tufted X. A tufted X.

I think I know what you're talking about and I don't like it. Yeah, they're like scrunchy duees, they're weird. They're scrunchy duees. I see them at Target a lot and I'm like, get rid of this scrunchy duees. Yeah. I'm sick of this. Definitely some classic threshold brand styling. Yes. definitely some classic threshold brand styling. Yes, our threshold is a little key.

So the guys like, well, okay, if everything we talked about, I mean, this is going to be amazing. And Tore is like, well, this is, I don't know what everybody to like see the house, because it's important that they see the house, but I don't want it to be in the house like look at this This is the perfect scenario as it relates to them like what the fuck are you even saying right now? Toya, I know like she just wants people literally to look inside of her house. That's all yeah It's like when you when you go if you go to England and you and you go to if you go to like I think it's the Tower of London and and you go to, if you go to like, I think it's the Tower of London,

and you can see the crown jewels, and you basically like walk, and you like get put on a little conveyor belt, and you just glide by the crowns and stuff, and then you're kicked out. That's basically what she wants her part of to be. You just like get on a conveyor belt, go through the foyer, and then you're done.

Yeah, Eugene has to just stand there and not move, no matter what anybody does, damn. Oh, I think I'm gonna say he's like cranking the conveyor belt. There's like a crank and he's just like sitting there like pushing it over and over again. Yeah, that's a lot of work. That's a lot for Eugene. He already has to carry something. So they're talking about budget. And of course, Toria wants all of this shit, but she's like, I don't want to go over Ted grad. And he's like, uh, yeah. So the plane that's gonna land on top of the house is out.

I'm not gonna have that. Oh, okay. Okay, so the hot air balloons that are going to bring people from the driveway to the front door will have to probably get rid of those. So the cast of Chicago won't be performing in the front yard. Okay, you know what? I'm gonna talk to Ann.

I'm gonna bring some things. She can't come, no an ranking. He's like, but I can't make miracles happen. We're gonna have a so-and-a snake drama. And oh, really? So Quads Party. So we're gonna do Quads Party again. Yeah, and then he's like, and also we can get a camel. It's $4,500. So you're spending half of the can get a camel. It's $4,500.

So you're spending half of the budget on a camel that people will not be able to even ride. Pretty much, but he found the half off. He found a discount camel. A discount camel. At this point, they're just just stroking cigarettes. Look at the camel. Also, can't you haggle with camel people?

I mean, I'm just assuming like the camel is probably not booked every single night of the week. You know, camel. Yeah, I think like the camel will just be happy to be there. Yeah, I think if you can haggle with anybody, it's the camel agent. The camel agent. Betty Schwartz, camel camel agent You want the camel you want the camel. Okay, it's $4,500. Okay fine to two thousand dollars, okay? two thousand all right Listen, I've listened listen, I've been in this business a long time. You remember seeing the English patient You remember the camels and that okay? Not my camels, but I know how to play the game all right. I learned Remember the camels and that? Okay, not my camels, but I know how to play the game, all right?

I learned. I was looking up what Hail No Means, H-A-I-L, because that's what Scott's wearing on his sweatshirt and the neck scenes, but I have Dubai women's rights. Pulled up just because I was gonna do some nice light reading since we mentioned Dubai. Okay, so never mind, you care. Scott and Contessa are at home.

Yeah, and now they're happy again. They are by their pool. And this is their, basically Contessa is gonna go back to school in the fall. She's gonna enjoy the summer. And Scott, he's like, you know, he's like, he knows what he needs to do now. He's gonna make work.

He's gonna bring the kids to her. But also he's felt underappreciated. So she's gonna be like, appreciate Scott, and ultimately, you know what they decide they're gonna do? They're gonna hire a nanny, which is what we were saying. That's what we said. All season long. Just hire a whole season.

I'm not sure, you know, I mean, of course, it's a housewives basically show, and of course, the end of gets resolved. It's like we fought all season But now we're great, but then when she mentions it summer anyway, I was like wait a minute Did you even drop out of this school? Yeah, or was it just like over? No, I yeah, like that that's yes. Yes. That's a really good point. I feel hood weight I'm yeah, it feels a little a little convenient like oh gosh

Well, I guess what guys I dropped out of school because we're going on summer break I dropped out of school in May, you know, it's like taking your car to the shop and be like guys I'm sorry. I've decided I'm no longer gonna drive because my cars in the shop But we'll be busy. Yeah, I'm going to be kind to the earth and not drive for a day. Guys, I started to intermittent fast because I just had lunch. So I'm not eating right now. So let's go over to Jackie's house. It's the interversities and two because she's on the same shows everybody else. And that means it's time to get

the house not seen, but started. Construction's gonna start on Jackie's house. Yeah, this is ridiculous. This is such an, oh, like this is such a ridiculous scene. She comes home, first of all, we meet Tommy Webb, a contractor. He's like, all right guys, time to pull out the bushes.

I was like, wait, who is this guy? Why are we supposed to know who he is? And then Jackie's like, hi Tommy. And then she goes inside and those like Australians, South African, architects are like, oil hallowed Jackie, welcome him on your special die.

Yeah, with their like multiple accents and one sentence. Like, how are you? Hey, we gotta get feed. Cheeky. Gotta get feed. Cheeky. We are just sitting here with Katie. And he didn did not absolutely invite us to a threesome that did not happen.

We are just sitting here with him just waiting for you to come in to celebrate nothing in particular. We said he is a sleigh team, he said all give you a sleigh team and they're we're leaving. I think Jack is just trying to get all of her discount services on camera and one scene So she get her discounts. She's like here's Tommy. Here's Tommy the gardener who you can reach at 1-800 web contractor or contractor. Sorry You know that like It's always a bad sign when even the architects are bored of the old

I'm putting on a hard hat and taking a sledgehammer to my wall because these ladies actually leave They're like normally it's a whole thing that the architect is like here Here's a sledgehammer. Will you do the honors? And then they watch and everyone claps like it's a big deal This time they're like, well, he has a sledgehammer. We're gonna go listen to all sledgehammer AK Peter Gabriel in the cost great musician Would it telliling never forget? Yeah, in your eyes, great song. Know what?

I want you to say anything to that wall before you smash it in. How about I'm sick of this scene, property brothers. I'm sick of people smashing a hole in their wall. Okay, come up with something else, property brothers. I know. I really for 90,000 episodes. Exactly. And I actually was optimistic that we would not get the,

hey, we're smashing a wall scene because, because the architects left, they're like, did you redo kangaroo? Good boy. And I was like, oh my god, we don't have to see that. But then they did it anyway. And then Jackie tells Curtis that she booked a trip for them in the South of France,

because she took 10 business days off. So... And to be specific, consecutive business days. Just so he knows that this is not like 18 trips to the South of France. We'll find out. It still won't be happy. So she's basically learned is she's got to make more time for her husband. So next, Toria's housewarming party, it's the day of.

And Toria's like, what is this Jerusalem? And he's like Jerusalem. Yes. Jerusalem. He's like, please, it is Jerusalem. So Toria is sexually harassing the girls who are working the party. She's like, are you guys going to get let's dress? You got a lot of clothes.

I want them to be sexy. You guys got booty shorts. Yeah. Well, it is kind of funny because like, I would never tell someone that I've hired. You need to be like, we're less and be more, because that's just not the time we live in anymore. But at the same time, like maybe as their employer, I would have said, you guys will be running the hookah thing tonight at a theme party. So we are going to provide these questions for you, not like, hey, where are your best khakis and red polo shirts?

Well, I think they're thinking deserts. So khakis, I don't know. Maybe. I don't know. I mean, I would never say the point is, I would never say you have to be sexier, but I would be like, but I would just say this, this is what you're wearing. I would provide the caution. I would be like, give me your measurements. We're going to give you like, it could be something appropriate, not, not make them feel like ashamed, ideally, maybe get their inputs, but I would also be like, I mean, it is kind of funny that they were in khakis. It is funny.

Hey, ring, ring, Ben, it's me, Betty, the camel, agent. Hi, Betty. You already got the camel for half price. You getting fucking khakis, that's it. Okay, here's what we got, here's what we're gonna do for you. Okay, how about camel skin jackets? You know what I'm saying? Do you see what I'm going? It's going at camel my thing So Torias like where's the camel energy? It's like a camel. Are you fucking kidding me?

First of all they have bad attitudes and second of all they have a lot of shit, okay? So we're gonna pick up this shit and the guys like, uh, yes, we pick up every single piece of poop. We pride ourselves on it Thank you. We can guarantee We spoke with we spoke with Betty Schwartz and she promised us that there'd be someone to pick up every single piece of shit Isn't that right Betty? It is and it's gonna cost you $2,000 which brings you total to $4,500 I don't know Betty. That seems like a lot of money $2,000 which brings you total to $4,500. I don't know, Betty, that seems like a lot of money. $2,000. Does anybody live room?

Girls in Doc as it is. You can either have the Doc, you have the sexy dresses, or you have the camels, shit. What do you want? So next up, Kintessa is getting her makeup done with her makeup artists. Yeah, son, they're getting henna. Yeah, she's getting henna. Oh, no, they're getting both. I'm not saying it as a correction. I'm saying they're getting makeup.

I'm just I'm painting a picture here. Yeah, I didn't feel offended. It's like, how dare you correct me in that henna moment. We're going to talk later. Oh, yeah, post post show meeting. Everyone get in here. We are talking about Hannah or makeup who give up. All right. Next time you correct me about Hannah, you're going to get a one way ticket to the US party. For, um, since Ben and I are the only ones who work here,

we were each other's secret Santa and we both got each other a one way to get home So it's gonna be fun I was actually thinking about that Ronnie. I was like I'm sad because we don't get to have a Christmas party or like things like that I guess well, I guess crap and Mrs. Our Christmas party. Yeah, we got it. It's crap and Smith I know but like you know like that mindset of like it's party, you know, miss. I know, but like, but you know, like that mindset of like, it's party, you know? I got next year, we'll have that mindset going into crap. I mean, we had the mindset.

We had the mindset. We had the mindset. We had the mindset. Okay, I won't tell you, but we have to promise not to tell each other who's our secret halos. Okay, I'm down. We could do White elephant.

Ah, this is Betty San,. This is Betty, uh, uh, shorts. Sorry. I was married to the name, like I named, uh, John Sanchez. Uh, sometimes I forget about my married name. Anyway, I'm Betty Schwarz. Would you be open to a white camel party instead of a white elephant? Because we have some great camels. Well, that occasion. So Contessa asked, so how how do you feel Scott? How do you feel about this, this party we're going to? And Scott says, Oh, you know, I feel good

about it. I'm happy for them. They got their dream house. And what did the makeup ladies go? That's what they're calling it now. And Contessa starts cracking up. She's like, yeah, that's what I said. I mean, it's so underwhelming. It is so underwhelming. We're grownups. Oh, man. I mean, like sure, but like, their house looks just like your house. So just remember when you shade Toya's house,

you're shading your own house. Yeah, I'm not sure what she was saying. What was she saying was underwhelming? Did you get it? I think she should just like, she's just, she's basically like, okay, so you got a house. Like, you got a house and like your, the, I, like, that's your dream.

It was like, this is, you're, you're being so extra about a house. Like, you just got a house. Like, your husband's a doctor. Like, this is not, this is not something out of the ordinary. And you're having this whole big party. Like, we're grown up. So we all have, like, we, that's what you all have about that. Yeah. Okay. I see.

I think that's what you was saying. I don't know. There's so many layers to contest. It's hard to unpack everything she says. Well, thankfully contested. Just repeats herself over and over. So if you didn't understand, she'll just repeat what she's saying until you understand it. She's like, she's so underwhelming. It's so underwhelming. It's so underwhelming. I said, it's so underwhelming. So now it's not now it's the evening of the party. So it's an Arabian night's thing and You know, I mean people are largely people are just sort of dressed in sort of Arabian

Inspired fashion, but Cecil decides he's gonna take it to the next level and he is fully dressed He's in a costume like he is definitely like setting off some appropriation Like like red flags here because he is dressed like a like a full on cheeky. He is definitely setting off some appropriation. Like red flags here, because he has dressed like a full on chic. He has sunglasses on, he has like a head dress thing, whatever. Yeah, all the guys at the party were. They were all in chic things. Yeah, they were like a little, although there was one guy who came in dressed fully like Aladdin.

I was like, you know, I Mean like I I personally was not offended, but it's also not my culture. So I'm like, uh, you guys might want to like Yeah, I don't know. I don't think anyone's I'm sure no one's like really offended. That's one of those things really like okay That's your choice. Yeah, that's your choice. Typical typical typical toy, uh, party. Yeah, exactly. Like, if you're not covering your face, this was not a toy, a party. You know, if your head isn't in your hands at least 10 times, it was mainly the men. Like the women I thought were largely fine.

And I just like some of the men, I'm like, okay, so like, okay. Okay. Well, so like, okay. Well, they all, a lot of them had the same chic headpiece on, so I was wondering if they were giving them out to wear because they all had the same exact thing. Well, they all probably shared like, you know, a link of where to get their costume. No. I think the difference is that the men look like they're wearing costume and the women look like they were trying to sort of like honor

Maybe through fashion the vibe break way too deep on this This murder to medicine party. I can't Talk about this or the camel shit. I mean listen what angle do you want me to get in on show for I mean there's only so much I could not with Gloria because you know she's handing out chic head. I don't even know what you call them Talk about people like implying that people need to be more in line than I'm like, yeah, they're one of those chic head things, you know? So let's go to Buffy and the car with Simone. Buffy is on another level today.

At first, I thought, okay, this is just season finale, Buffy being over dramatic, because it's like the end of her first season. So she's got to get in the fight She's got to have a fit, but I Don't know. I mean, no, I think she was I don't think it was pony. This was like some real tears I mean that's some real sobbing, which we don't often see Yeah, I think that Buffy actually she's reading to me as being Generally pretty sincere. I think like I feel like we've seen her when she's not sincere, which is at that spa day

when she was like, like over the top, happy, trying to convince everyone or probably herself that she was happy when she's, you know, because what apparently was happened since Dr. Jackie basically called out her fertility issues, she has kind of unraveled it sounds like, which is really sad. And you can just see in the scene Simone's asking Buffy about how she and Jack are.

And you can just sort of see her face, like falls in a way that is like very authentic to me. Like I think that like when reality stars are being dramatic, like can't like can't just alert when she's like takes out that little tissue, you can see it's like, okay, it's dramatic. But when someone you can see someone is just like, like, almost is like trying to hide their pain and they're like looking down their lap and like not not trying to have a moment, then that to me is more authentic than when people who are full on like, like,

blotting their eyes over like they lost a paperclip. Yeah, she seemed very genuine to me as well. But my initial reaction of course is like really again, but I mean, yeah, obviously her storyline that never ends, that pain never ends. But it just, it just seems weird. It's like you need another apology from Jack. Like what? What is going on? Well, I don't think she was even asking for another later. Yeah, because later she says that it ended up like it brought it up. And then it just opened the wound, right? And so she started going to therapy.

And then she just kind of started reliving the whole thing again. And she shut down and got depressed. And then that manifested it and being close with her husband. And so it just went on a whole, you know, it was a spiral basically. I think that also, like Simone didn't really do Buffy a service because I think that what Buffy, I don't think Buffy necessarily needed an apology. I think that what Buffy needed from Dr. Jackie was like a, some empathy and like a shoulder and like maybe just like the two of us, we need to talk it out like I need some

other who like understands my pain and I think that for Simone to be like you need to apologize to her again It puts Jackie into place, which is like how many times I'll to apologize and it's like really actually it's more like Jackie you should see that like You know that she is really really hurting and that like you need to like connect with her now on like a deep level. Yeah. So that's, that's fun. That's a fun story line. So the party arrivals, everyone starts coming and someone's like, I forgot we can't wear shoes in Toya's house. So that's a pain in the ass because Toya is making everybody walk through her house without shoes and then they have to put their shoes on again when they get to outside.

Because there's camel shit everywhere. That was allegedly being picked up. Every single pile of shit is being picked up. I guarantee you it's got the Betty Schwartz guarantee, okay? I told you it's only $6,500. I'll wait a minute. only $6,500. I'll wait a minute. $35, $35, okay, you got me, you got me.

So everybody sees each other and starts screeching and complimenting the house. And there's a new lady here named Andrew Gomez. Yeah. I didn't really pay much attention. She didn't do much. Yeah, well, I looked her up. I looked her up because I was like, is this another case

where we're going to have like a week of people telling us that she was on like a VH1 show? And when I looked her up, I just kept on getting things. I said, did you mean Andre Gomez from this soccer team in Europe? And I was like, no, I meant Andre Gomez. How could you do this to me, Google? So as far as I can tell, I don't know who she is.

She doesn't even go here. Ben, I would like to talk about another show for just a second if we could. You guys, MTV C.S. The Key is back to heat up the winter. The original gang is back, but the dissolution of C.S. The Key is it. Couple, Alex and Juliet has left the friend circle divided. Yeah, finally those two broke up. I was getting sick of that, okay? I was getting sick of Alex. Yes, the key is it, couple Alex and Juliet has left the friend circle divided. Yeah, finally those two broke up. I was getting sick of that. Okay, I was getting sick of Alex. You deserve better Juliet.

Now when I say you deserve better. I don't know that I mean Robbie Hayes from the bachelor's at the time. I can't wait to watch him. Yeah, he's going to be invading the scene and bringing all sorts of conflict and heartbreak and deception to the mix. And I'm very excited. It's that it's this is the air to the hills. So how could we not be thrilled?

Oh yeah. It's coming back Tuesday, January 7th at 8 7 Central. And you can catch all of the episodes of tonight. You can just go catch up on it on MTV.com or on the app. And don't forget to check out CS. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. So forget to check out CS. and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's no

involved into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. That's the key on Instagram and Twitter. Well, time for the camel to arrive everybody. Oh, yes, camel time.

camel time. So they have to lift to a on this F in queen thing and drag her ass in there. Next the camel because the camel cannot, you can't ride the camel. It's where he wants to hold the camel, the camel coming in, but the camel's like, um, I'm half priced. If you touch me, Betty, Betty's hiding behind that bush. So keep your hands to yourself. We have very trick guidelines. No riding on me and I get to shit everywhere I want to.

Wait, Betty, that was not part of the contract. So she comes in and, um and Toya is talking to Simone and she's like, did you see by Cabal and someone's like, I can smell your camel. Also, did you notice that they added in huge cheers for her coming in on her camel? You see people just standing around staring at her as she comes in on the camel. And then the the sound is like, I was like, did you just take a sound effects from like a football game and insert them here? What's going on? Okay, here's the deal. Okay, you want the camel half off.

You got to put in on post production a huge plus the camel. Okay, because this is the top camel. All right, we're not going to make my camel look like a jackass. All right. Camel plus a wrap. Oh You know, we'll do it. We'll do it. We'll do it Put in like three people clapping, okay? So Toya starts getting offended because like half the cast isn't even there yet

And she's already written out her camel because you know that camel is like on an hourly Hourly rate. So she's like, where's everybody? Whiz baraya? And And so I was like, hello, you've been on the show for how many years? Like, everyone's late. You know that. Yeah, also she, Toya, Toya, I think, is also probably has adrenaline coursing through her because she was carried out by Eugene and Eugene's brother Elliott and Eugene, like apparently, like, did not pick up his corner of the thing very much because it's like on it It's like fully tilted and I was like oh Well, can I get mango I need you to use some muscle what you should did was hold up my your side

Oh, no, I don't like you over compensate it too much. Oh, no, no, now this way Take the horror. Yeah, what is that? Is that where I'm Wait, hold on, this is Santa's familiar to me. Yes, you should know the horror. As well as since it is Hanukkah. Let me bring you into some of my Jewish tradition, something that you might see in Jerusalem. So the horror is like, it's the circle dance at like weddings and bar mitzvahs. And usually like if it's the bar mitzvah or the bot mitzv circle dance at like weddings and bar mitzvahs and usually like if it's the bar mitzvah Yes, they put the bar mitzvah the bar mitzvah the bot mitzvah

Kid up on the chair and it bounces it around and then on the weddings and you know, fill out the roof if you've seen Yeah, I've been in Fiddler on the roof. Thank you. Well, don't you remember lifting someone up in the horror? I didn't have to lift thing God, but I did do the circle dance someone up in the hole. I didn't have to lift thing, but I did do the circle dance. So as someone who's been in that chair, it is actually very terrifying because what you have is you're being hoisted up by lots of drunk men of various strengths. So what Toyota was going through is very real because there's always like one side that is like definitely like weaker. And so you start to lurch toward that side. And then they start to send it the other way. So you're being like, you're just holding on to this chair, hoping you don't fall over on a bunch of uncles.

Yeah, or hoping you do and just being like, you deserve it. Yeah. So with five dollars in the envelope, like I have a bar mitzvah every day. Importantly, while while while Toya's waiting for Ryan Quad and haven't pretty much everyone to arrive, you know who was there? Carrie, Carrie, where are the boys? Where are the boys staying tonight? I have struggled for 20 years trying to find lodging for boys. Duncan loved the camel. Duncan said that was the best camel he's ever seen in 20 years of being a dog dog. Best camel. So Mariah arrives. Aiden couldn't come, but she's with Lake and I don't know, some bald guy.

And Lake is like, it's like walking into the lion's den. And Mariah's like, well, I'm the queen of the lions. So hear me roar. I don't mean the camel then? Could we got the camel didn't get the lion? No toy, it's an expression. Camel then. How much does that could be cost? Do we got the camel then? Do we have lions and camels together? Oh no.

Do anything that do camels have predators? I don't know. I don't know. You've stuffed me. Which isn't really hard to do, but I just really thought about it. I thought about it for more than a second. And it hurt. I was like, Ouch.

It might get out. You know, like every nature special, it's always a fucking giraffe that has to like kick a line in the face with a lanky ass foot or run away. Or of course, antelopes, I mean, will be a sterile, just like classic, you know, like, you know, they love them. But like, I feel like camels, they never, that's probably why they have that smug look. Like, I don't have any fucking predators.

I'm just walking. You know, I can do whatever I want, except drink regularly, so I store water in my house, just in case. Enjoy getting, enjoy running away from a lion, other animals. It's the count of the WAN of animals, which is probably why it threw the WAN off. It's like, I can't have me on me.

Get off! So, contest is like, wow, Mariah, bringing Lake Around again. That's extremely manipulative. I mean, it's just cowardly. Every girl in this group shows up at stamps alone. So I'm just asking that you do the same thing. Which I agree with, but Lake doesn't even do anything in this episode. And she didn't really do anything at the last time either. I think Mariah keeps bringing her to do something, but Quad just refuses to play along. Yeah, because Lake hasn't really done, she's done nothing.

I mean, she just called Quad a Ho in a clip, but really other than that, she's just kind of another yes man. And if it wasn't Lake, it would be somebody else. That's just how Mariah rolls. Yeah, I feel like Lake is really, this is like, this is your chance. Sometimes you gotta make it happen if it's, even if it doesn't come to you.

Yeah. So everybody arrives and compliments the house and stuff. And apparently, of course, this is the first one to point out. Like, she's got all this shit in the back up, and she doesn't have any furniture. Yeah. Yeah, because Quatt is like,

this is Toyos house, just beautiful, the most beautiful raspberry I've seen since the wheel was invented on a piece of cheese. What? So, Heavenly's like, oh yeah, it's really beautiful. I've never seen this design before. I'm like, you've never seen this design.

It's every single one of your houses put together. It's a giant box. I mean, it's every single one of your houses put together. It's a giant box. I mean, it's got different stairwellings. Oh, and I guess the fireplace thing is different that she put up on the fireplace. There's also a weird thing with the pool. Did you notice the pool has a surface, like three quarters the way around,

but one side is a wall, and that's odd. Yeah, that is odd. Yeah. I know they probably have to fit, like probably the rule is, like the pool area has to be fenced since they probably put a wall, but like it just seems so restrictive,

especially for a backyard, they just have like a wall back there. I don't know, didn't like it. Pool, bad review, bad review on the pool. Bad review on the wall. Good review on your accent. Good review on your accent

wall turned fireplace though. Yeah, but bad review on there being a Good review on your accent while turned fireplace though. Yeah, but bad review on there being a wall in the first place. Yeah. The both thing you're about that wall right now. I know. We're both thinking back on it. I know. I don't know if I remember the swimming pool properly.

I just don't like that there's a big wall in the pool. Like I just feel like the pool should be on all sides, there should be like a walkable space, you know? Got it. Got it. Got it. Ryan always thinks it's probably the architect. Got it.

Got it. So did you go to architecture school? Got it. Oh, Lance, get pool school. Got it. OK, OK. So the guys gather around each other and congratulate Uj and then heavenly and quadr talking

and they compliment each other of course. And heavenly's like, well not having a man looks good on you, not daddy. I bet some of the other ladies are looking at you like, am I, which I think I'll sleep my good friend that's in the husband. Yeah. And Quads talking about how it's been a hard year, but like,

and this isn't the most supportive group either. There's been a lot of doctoring of documents. Yes. Doctoring of documents. Doctoring of documents. It's like, yes, Quads, you don't have to keep saying it. It's because you're on marriage and medicine doesn't mean you have to keep saying doctoring. Oh, no, no, no

Dr. Ackimits is a lot that has been doctor ackimits I like that a cut off her hair for a drug test and she goes she shakes her hand She's she must it she said she must have been pulling it out from the follicles What is she saying is she saying they she had she should have been pulling it from the follicles What was she saying I don't saying that she should have been pulling it from the follicles? What was she saying? I don't I don't know to be honest. I just was like wow quad it took you like two months to finally like have a response to Toya saying uh I was with Mariah and I saw her take a drug test and she passed and then like two months later

And she's like, oh that's doctor. He's talking Took you that long to come up with a way to explain why you're kind of busted in this situation. So then, the sword swallower. Okay, I don't like sword swallowers, I think it's really gross. I don't know how you even get involved in that. How does one start?

I don't even care. But there's a sword sw even get involved in that. How does one start? And I don't even care. But there's a sword swallower and Eugene takes a sword out of her mouth and it's gross. But then on top of that, then they show another shot of the sword swallower dropping the sword and let's sort of plunk down into her mouth. And then they add the top chef, kuching, what it lands. I was like, no, don't do that.

Why would you do that, Robbo? That's disgusting, you're like, kuching, what it lands, I was like, oh, no, it makes it sound like it just sliced it up. Oh. What? That's the best. Now what did the, if you married girl, Toria?

So there's Simone and Jackie hug and Jackie's like, wow, we were both on call yesterday. Did you get any sleep? And Simone's like, well, we were both on call yesterday. Did you get any sleep? And Simone's like, well, let me just get this off my chest. I need to tell you something from down deep. We have some unfinished business. It's the black box. And she's like, black box did a plane crash?

She's like, the black box you put put poppy in after our trip and it's like oh my god and Jackie just looks at her like really again. Yeah. Oh my god, I'm sick of this and I'm the one whose head fit is the new way like 80,000 times last year. Like enough. Yeah exactly.

So now Jackie's getting annoyed and she like sort of swivels her head a little bit and goes like, did you want another apology from me and someone goes, no, no, neck rolling, no, neck rolling, Jackie's like, her. So, um, Jackie's telling us like, I have nothing against her, right? I hurt too. I just refused to hide behind it and I help other people unlike a CPA who I guess can add three plus three together. Yeah. And someone's like, well, you know, maybe she'll get there, but she's not the blah, blah,

blah. We've heard it again. So Mariah is over there talking to Buffy. And Mariah is like, you don't seem yourself. What's wrong with you? And she's like, I don't know. I'm just trying to learn again to trust women. It's like, well, it's so hard when women can't be happy

for all the millions and millions you've made. Don't forget you did say that. And you're learning to trust women with Mariah. Like, are you? Yeah, I'm from Mariah about it. Like, you're talking to the wrong person. Yeah, you should probably just like hang out with the camel at this point. That'll cost a 10 extra dollars, Buffy. So Simone pulls her assiode away from Mariah and then kicks Curtis out away from Jackie. And Jackie just stares at Buffy with a very pissed off face. Yeah. And she's basically like, Buffy. Simone wants to make sure I'm coming from a sincere place. And nothing says sincerity like implying that someone told me to be sincere. Anyway, I would never in a billion trillion years take something that has been

robbed from me to her to anyone in this world, not even a non-doctor CPA, not anyone. And Buffy's like, oh yeah, I know that you're not a malicious person, and then sobbing. Like she's sobbing. So I'm like, this is so weird because it's married to medicine, and I guess I'm used to a certain amount of just craziness and not people being serious.

And I think coming after Jackie for this again, is way, it's like way much at this point, like it was much of the third time. But for me, it's like way too much. But then she seemed, she's so sincere. I thought, I'm like, Oh my God, this poor lady. She's hurting. She's really, really hurting in that. And, and again, she didn't ask Jackie. She didn't say that she needed another apology. This was Simone did that. And I think that, but Buffy is hurting. And I think like you would have to be a crazy person to not realize this is someone like in pain.

And Jackie is normally the best when people who are in pain. And it was like a little shocking that again, like there just was not, I actually thought like Jackie considering how annoyed she was, she actually did a nice job. She did warm up.

And Buffy was like, I don't feel you're a malicious person. I never felt that. But when you said I was infertile, I shut down because when we were trying, I thought, like, what was wrong with me? And I started acting out. I'm very emotional. I become a different person. And now she's like back in therapy. So it's like, this had like a really serious impact on Buffy. Just sort of like really triggered a lot of stuff that maybe wasn't dealt with the first time around. Or he wasn't finished. Yeah, and Jackie, she's like,

I've really suffered and you have all people should understand. And Jackie's like, you know, I do understand, I wouldn't be a good doctor if I didn't understand someone else's infertility, which is like, oh, I don't say that. Yeah. Like, don't say it like that's like the wrong thing to say.

Yeah. So then, I'll see you. All right, I know she should said, she should have been like, and maybe she said this is what was not on the show, like, like, why don't we, like, come over. Let's just be the two of us, like, let's talk it out.

Let's like talk about how, like, like, I want it, like, we, I've been there and I've just be the two of us. Let's talk it out. Let's talk about how, I've been there and I've been through the worst of it and I wanna help, like, there was, I mean, Jack is not under an obligation to do that, but it would have been really nice if she did that. Yeah, I think she's probably coming from a place where she is used to being on a reality show and people's coming for you and starting fights

and being ridiculous and carrying things on and on that she's probably like What is this real tears like what is happening all this reality show right now and she doesn't know to invite Buffy over because She just sees Buffy as friends of somebody else who's now coming for her, you know like friend of Mariahs who's Mm-hmm who's coming for her whatever so even though she's a she started as of Samo's, but she mentioned on the show that she was friends with somebody. I don't know. I don't know. Getting my getting my facts all confused. So anyway, the point is Jackie's like, okay, you know, sorry, but in kind of a cool Jackie way. So Buffy runs off to the bathroom sobbing because she's been, she's been sobbing already. But yeah, I know she's like, I gotta get out of here. And she is like, actually, now she's fully unraveled.

And she's with David who's so sweet and he is like, taking her into the car and she is like, doing that full sob thing where your chest is heaving and you're like, you know, like deep sobbs, you know, like that was like intense. And so she needs to leave and then Toya sees her leaving. And she's like, buh-bh-bh-bh-bh-bh-bh-bh-bh-bh-bh-b love it, love it. Why leave it, love it, why leave it? Why leave it?

How about we go to my closet? You wanna go to my closet? My closet, you wanna go to my closet? You wanna go to my closet? You wanna go to my closet? My closet, you wanna go to my closet? My closet, you wanna go to my closet? My closet, you wanna go to my closet?

And I was like, I know what Toya's trying to do. And it's actually very sweet to cheer her up. And I was like, sometimes you've ever got a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet.

I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. I'm gonna buy her a closet. sweet. She's like, Hey, lady, that's richer than me. Wanna come see my two-story closet? Yeah, it's sometimes you just got like if someone's sobbing, sometimes you just gotta let them go home. And so she's like, he was a pretty good my closet. He was out of shoes, without lighting, it has, it has, there's like a table, it has watches like Dubai. I love my closet. So then, Kintessa, okay, so Trey is like, I'll get you a drink, so then Contessa, okay, Situya's like, I'll get you a drink, okay? I'm gonna go up and get you a drink.

Can I have a few people like that? Oh, I guess that's one thing the closet doesn't have, a bar. Yes, no kidding. And then she didn't, did she let, did she let Eugene have a door into his man cave because there's a perfect bar in there. I think she shot herself in the foot with that one. Yeah, that's a perfect, yeah. So Toria is like, okay, I'm going to go upstairs and get

you drink. So she goes upstairs and contest and Jackie, I'm like, what are you guys doing? What are you guys doing? I'm showing a buffoo by closet. Yeah. So now contest and wants to go into closet. Jackie has enough sense to be like, am just not gonna do this. Well, she's on her way, but she sees someone is there to stop. I think it's Simone. Simone is there to stop. Simone says, guys, don't go downstairs. She's having a, she goes, she's having a full breakdown. But the girls are now gonna go down there to be like, we're gonna, Jackie knows to turn around.

But she's like, no, thank you, no thank you. A screaming and crying, Buffy, no thanks I'm not going to get pulled into that. So, but contested decides go down there with Mariah, I believe. Maybe even heaven, I don't know, but like, they're start, they start to go down. And Jacky, meanwhile, just retreats to Curtis. And now she's like, really annoyed that she's being pushed to apologize again. And she may just have to take a break from the group. Yeah, and yeah, she's like, if this group of ladies won't take an apology, then maybe I need a group of friends that will take an apology.

So Buffy is screaming. So Contessa goes downstairs just like a freight train. She is just like, yeah, she comes down there and they're like they're she's trying to be like jury like And then Toyo's like this is what we're gonna do Well, this is what we're gonna do and so Buffy find like there's too much and I don't know Contessa says something that I can't hear over what Toyo says Baby girl, what is it baby girl? What's wrong? Yeah, and Buffy goes I am not in the place Contessa. I'm not in the place and then Contessa

goes, I am not in the place, Contessa. I'm not in the place. And Contessa suddenly becomes a dual sergeant. Like her army training comes out in the worst way possible. She turns into Gina Davis in the long kiss good night. Remember that scene where her girl falls over on the ice and breaks her arm. And Gina Davis is like, shut the fuck up life, it's pain. And the girl's like, whoa, mom.

God. Yeah, she's like, little baby, little baby. You have been through shit. But if you sit here, you will be absorbed in this shit. Do you hear me? Do you want to damn me? Get out of the shit! She looks like she's screaming.

And what's even worse is she also says, but we've all been through shit, which is like, not what you say to someone who's having a breakdown About like a deeply personal situation as she grabs her face and all of this like get out of that But yeah, she's not even close with like she's not even close with Buffy. Look at that. How out of here? I know and David's just standing by the door of the closet like as a licensed therapist I think I may need to intervene here. What are you saying to my wife? Yes, and then Buffy screams, you have to make it about you. And whereas like, your husband is

waiting, your husband is waiting, let's go, your husband is waiting, and Buffy is screaming, yeah, and Kandessa is like, that's not what I'm saying, but if you want to hear that, then you can choose to do that baby girl. So now Kintessa is mad, because she's like, the reason why Buffy said you made it about you is because Kintessa said, you've been through shit, but we've all been through shit. And that's clearly what she heard. So now she's like, oh, you're making it about you.

So now Kintessa is gonna yell at Buffy for like misinterpreting her. I'm like, Kintessa, now is not the time to be calling out Buffy. She isn't so much pain and you're being so ridiculous. And leave it to like Mariah of all people to be the voice of reason to be like Buffy. I mean, Contessa, why are you like, why are you going around? Why do you ask people what's going on and then snap at them? Why do you ask people what's going on and then snap at them? Why do you do that? Yeah, she's like, just stop asking.

And she goes, um, why wouldn't I ask someone when they have tears streaming down their face? Well, yeah, but they were like in a closet with their, you know, like she was like right in front of you. You went in there because you knew their wrist trouble. And then you asked her and then you snapped it or Contessa. Yeah, some risers like stop screaming, stop screaming, because at this point Mariah's like holding contest his hand and contest is like stop touching me. And Mariah's like,

no. And then like, which by the way, Mariah's saying, no, I'm not going to stop touching you. Is the same idea of like the tough love that contest was just giving Buffy, but of course, Kandessa doesn't want to hear it to herself, right? So. Well, that's what Toya tells her. She's like, yeah, but she was only touching you in the way that you were touching Buffy when you grabbed her face and trying to, you know, snap her out of it. And Toria's like, uh, this is not how I batched people all about classic. Sorry, she's so mad that her closet reveal with such a fail. She's like, uh, that's not what this closet is for.

Okay. So then Mariah is like, yeah, but you know, Buffy's had like, that's had like miscarriages. She starts saying something about likes. She's had miscarriages or whatever, just like the, have some empathy and contestants, like, well, I've had several miscarriages, like it's now like a miscarriage.

Like, well, I have to say that this, yes, well, this, it started because Mariah goes, just understand toy at the person you're talking to, thinks having a miscarriage at six weeks ain't shit, which I don't know where you got that from. But then, of course, Contessa takes it up a notch and she's like, Oh, really? Well, I've had several miscarriages and I was like, Oh, my God, please not compute about this. Oh, so Mariah gets in her face and screams, oh shit. And contest is like, you know what?

Whatever Mariah, you with your sister following you around to say things. You don't have the bravery to say. And then we get a clip of Lake calling saying that Quatt has always been a hoe. Yeah. So now they're now contested. Mariah filing about something else completely. So now, so now they,, everyone breaks into different groups. And so outside we have contested in Simone with like Heavenly Enquad

and they're like talking about the breakdown, et cetera. And contested as all matches. Like I feel like Mariah picked up the baton and basically saying that she made it about herself. I'm like after you were a total monster down there, you were like a rhinoceros barging into that closet and being crazy and not even considering Buffy. I know. She's so terrible. And then Mariah is so terrible. It's another fight that I'm so thankful to not have to take sides on because they're terrible. But Cone, Cone, I still

read her name down as Cone because that's what that's what Dr. heavenly used to call her but contest that when she's leaving she goes, uh, you can't talk to me like that I'm not quad nap catch my hair. I'm where I was like bitch. I don't wear horses. I've ride horses thoroughbreds bitch and she starts she starts acting like she's riding a horse and like slapping the horse and screaming and yelling. And I think Contessa calls it very well with Moray. When she's like, this is what she does. She goes, everyone around quad because quad won't give her any juice.

You know, so now she's coming for me. But also you deserve to. Yeah, exactly. And so I don't remember if this is before after that, but then Contas was like talking to Simone, and she's like, do I owe them both an apology? And someone's like, yes, yes you do. You're crazy. You're a crazy person.

And she's like, well then I'll apologize because I think this is a valuable group. I'm not valuable. You're not valuable. That is a group with valuables. Okay. So, Buffy a group with valuable. So, um, okay. So, Buffy has left sobbing. By the way, David is taking her sobbing.

Yeah. And then Mariah has her little cousin together. And she's like, I'm so sick of this group not holding everyone accountable for the same standard. Mariah, this wasn't about you. Said nothing to do with you. Again. She still has an axe to grind about. This just her way of saying like, oh, wow.

You know what her mind she's thinking, oh, wow, like, you know, Buffy's having a breakdown and then we're supposed to give her space, but when I have a breakdown, you know, it's probably one of those things. Yes. And the producer asked Mariah, do you think they're so for this group? And she's like, I don't know. Just get out Mariah. Why do you keep coming back?

You hate everybody all the time. You can't get along with anybody just get out stop trying to like bring the whole show down with you I don't know I think Mariah I mean Mariah is terrible but I think she's hilarious so I like her being there I think that actually what the unspoken thing that she's saying is you know she was off for a few seasons and was barely even on the show because she also she went up in the hospital she had a miscarriage and she was like clearly, it like clearly affected her.

She was like when she came back from her, she was really depressed. And I think that she probably feels like, she probably feels some sort of way about how she was treated after that. And then she sees how people are treating Buffy. And so, you know, she's always going to be like, wow, I wasn't treated like this or that. You know, that's probably what she means by all. I wish everyone was drawn to by the same standards, you know, she's always gonna be like, wow, I don't know, I wasn't sure if you'd like this or that. You know, that's probably what she means by all. I wish everyone was drawn to by the same standards, you know. Oh. Remember, I mean, she says that about really everything.

She's like, well, one quad, got some French fries. Everyone was like, good for you, quad, when I get French fries, people like, why aren't you sharing? Oh, I thought she was saying everybody should be held accountable because she was saying everyone should be held accountable for the same standard, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. But I've, yeah, I don't even know what I'm saying. She probably knows it.

She probably knows it's mad and bitter about something. Yeah, she just always feels like she's been wronged all the time. And that's kind of like her thing. And then she gets mad when people say that she's the victim. So then like, let me start, Eugene gives toya a pep talk. He's like, you know, I'm not really good at anything, except being a doctor. I mean,'s like, you know, I'm not really good at anything except being a doctor.

I mean, I just, you know, you know, doctor Eugene is great in the emergency room, but regularly Eugene just makes mistakes and misreads numbers and misdiagnoses people. Am I saying this out loud right now? Yeah. And he's like, God, you did a great job. This is your house, but I'll still get the mortgage. And then Tori is like, well, I don't know what's up with this group, but we definitely care about each other. It's like, okay. And then we get previews for the reunion.

And at first, it looks like it's gonna be really good because it's jacking Simone fighting, which is crazy. Yeah, but then Addy's like, so let's play Matt, Jared, Matt, what is it? Fuck Mary Killigan, let's see that again. Come on. Yeah. Standard reunion fair. I mean, he has like a scene. And he has another scene where it's like, well, now I'm going to talk with the guys. We're going to be sitting here guys talking about

guys things, right? Strippers in my right. Guys are so different. Guys, what do you think about all this? So that is coming up. We are not going to be here for the first one we're going to watch it we'll talk about it a little during the second one and if this is the only crap and three-cap you listen to you we'll have a happy onica and Merry Christmas everybody yes seriously we'll talk and we'll be back on the next episode oh well actually be back we'll be back we'll be back on the next episode. We'll actually be back. We'll be back on Friday for part three of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion.

Okay, we'll see you can listen to WaterCrapens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.