Watch What Crappens - Married to Medicine: Vegas Vibes

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

The ladies of Married to Medicine are in Vegas. Will Conetessa and Heavenly make up? Will Toya find bacon? And will Jackie ever stop talking her choach? This week's premium bonus is a breakdown of the Real Girlfriends in Paris trailer. Find all of our premium bonuses and video recaps at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've got a cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens, a podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yeal Braves.

I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben over there. Hello Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good how are you? Welcome to Merri to Medicine Day, and watch what crap ends. Oh, thanks, thanks for having me. Having all of us. Sure.

Have a nice day. Have a nice day. Welcome to the show. Thanks for coming by. Take a seat. for having me, having all of us here. I'm Eric Medicine Day. Welcome to the show. Thanks for coming by Take a Seat. It's our live show on Spotify every Monday, 7 p.m. Pacific. It's a really fun week as usual. Everybody else come. It'll be fun.

It's great times. Also, we restarted our game of Thrones podcast called Winter Is Crap-A-Ting. The first episode is up for the new show, House of the Dragon, which starts this Sunday, and so recaps will be up every Monday afternoon. So join us for that just search Winter is Crappin'ing, wherever you get your podcasts. And press the little subscribe and like and subscribe. Mike and subscribe.

Smash that button. Smash that like and subscribe button. Yeah, and that's all I have for announcements today. How about you, Ben? No, I'm just I'm I'm just excited. I'm honestly I'm finally like really excited for House the Dragon because last night I was doing some reading about it and then that made me go back and read some like old recaps of Game of Thrones and all those characters in that whole world and I'm I'm like officially at a level of hyped I'm hyped. I'm hyped up. Okay, good. Well, you know, you need that. And I'm going to channel that into married to medicine. The original Game of Thrones. Yes. Where the Lannisters were holding each other back from fighting while one of them just wanted Waken. Well, I think we all remember the famous Game of Thrones episode where Cersei shows all the women's sex toys.

Oh my God, we're the Bacon wedding. That was a really good one. The Bacon wedding. It's pretty vicious. Pretty big guys. So we are in Las Vegas with the married two medicine ladies and bravo, you know, they're taking a lot of, they just do the same things over. It's a formula, guys. It's a formula. We all know, okay? And I love the formula, no matter what it is.

I don't really need to hear about people sticking vibrators up their couch in two shows in one week. We have it on Dubai. They never have I have an anal. Has anyone done an anal? Okay, guys. And then everyone gets all grossed out like, oh my God, the Gynas aren't buts.

And then they crack up. Okay, like maybe once a year, okay, can be that. I don't need it twice in a week. Dubai and Mary to medicine, both of you, okay? I don't think I need it. I think never have I ever has now, it's like the new vagina waxing or whatever. I mean, maybe this was like some complex way

to promote Mindy Kaleung's second season of her show, but I don't know. I think there's a lot of never have I ever on right now. I think that I think it's... You have to ask, just all I wanna talk about butt sex. Just talk about butt sex. Why do you need to have a game? Because that's all they're playing for is to say, who's had a three-semin, who talk about butt sex. Just talk about butt sex. Why do you need to have a game? Because that's all they're playing for is to say

who's had a three-semin who's had butt sex. Just talk about butt sex, okay? You're all friends. It's fine. Talk about it. Also that honestly the novelty is worn off. I mean, I've always found it to be a little cringe watching middle-aged people play, never have I ever,

just because I feel like it's something you play when you're like, you're like, yeah, and you're like 22 or something like that. But I feel like it, you know, and of course, I say this as someone who is 43 and does all sorts of stuff, like, like a 12-year-old. But that being said, I'm just sort of over the never have I ever seen, like I don't need them. It's like, you know, I would like to say never have I ever seen another one of these scenes again, because it's just, it's always the same these scenes again, because it's always the same. Like you said, it's always the same questions.

It's always the same outrageousness. And they're having a fun time, but like us, it's like, oh wow, they had a threese, she had a threeseum. Oh, here's a story about someone having sex on an airplane. Again, it's always the same. And what was so surprising about this one is that the last episode of marriage medicine Ended with them playing never have I ever and I was not under the impression that it was a to be continued Maybe there was a to be continued that I'd forgotten about but when this episode opens up and we're still in the game

I'm like what you're stretching this over two weeks. This is a new low for never have I ever unbravo Yeah, well, there's a couple problems with never have I one. I'm old. So I've done everything, okay? Like I'm just, I just keep drinking and then people get mad at me for getting drug too much. When I feel like they're baiting me into the quest, like have you done anal?

Yes. Have you done the three? Yes. Have you shoplifted? Yes. I'm 46. I'm about to be 47. Okay. I've done all of this shit except murder. I mean pretty much everything else I've done, okay? So that's the first thing the second thing is I'm gay

so You know their idea of never have I ever being like wow have you guys ever had sex? Yes, I've had sex in public name a place. I haven't had sex, okay? I'm a homosexual. I can have sex wherever I can have sex easier in public than I can sing in public So it is you guys well Well, you know what I would like I would like never have I ever and just like why don't we change the questions like never have I ever Replace my tide pods with all pods and put them in the same container. Like, I was like, okay, I'm into these questions.

What are the stupid domestic, like, Aaron things, like, adult things, you know, like, never have I ever paid my estimated taxes on time. There's one. Never have I ever put something plastic in the dishwasher on the lower level. Never have I ever smushed two wet pieces of soap together to seem like one bigger piece of soap because I'm too lazy to walk over to the cabinet to get a new box of soap. Never have I ever put one of those plastic, you know, to go things in the microwave to heat something up and afterwards realized it was not meant for microwaves. That's more of an accident. I don't know if that really

count for never having. Yeah, you see it wasn't that fun. Okay, everybody spread it around. Tell everybody you know on Broadway. There's a new game in town. Okay. Yeah. Never have I ever real shit. Colin real shit. Have you ever touched your Colin? Well, well, when I've to went off the rails there, and Ela, okay, went off the rails. So here we are with never have I ever in Las Vegas. And you know, of course, Anila has to explain what it is. Because people are like, what? Never have I ever what? I need to need the service finished. But so her first one is sex on the beach, yawn, you know, and then contest is like, well, yeah, pretty much every beach we've ever been to. It's pretty great. Okay, now that's gross. You know, now I'm already turning. Like now I have to think about

you and your husband fucking all the beach when I'm trying to walk myself. I don't even have a child to complain about, but I don't need to see it either. How about that? Yeah, yeah, I don't need to see Kandessa getting down on the beach like that. So I then she's like, you know, it's not on purpose. I mean, just pretty much every beach you've been to, yeah. It's been great.

I'm like, I don't believe any of this. I don't even believe, I don't even believe you've had sex in your movie theater with the thing on the, on the door that says, admit one. I don't think so. How about admit none on the sex department? Yeah. Um, and heavenly is like, oh yeah, we know you have. And then she says, we know you have toaya and quad is like, I'm confused. Eugene says he doesn't like PDA. So whoever the person, whoever the person she had sex with on the beach was not Eugene Harris and of course

I would never sure know that what transpired on the beach happened with another person and that person was not Eugene so please your honor might I say I shall approach the bench and I shall approach it with sand from the beach that was given to me by another person who was transpiring. Thank you. I'm Tori, it tells us her story. She's like, I was a bi-abbi. It was late.

He was hot. Ding, ding, ding, not Eugene. Thank you, Your Honor. I rest my gaze. So then Jackie does a real lame watch because never have I ever had marijuana. And they're like everyone's just drinking. I love that Jackie tries to do this like misprim and proper perfect lady and then takes everybody just to voice up their coups.

Yeah. So yeah, then a Neil is like, okay, guys, here's a fun one. Never have I ever had anal sex. Like, like, like, like, like, like, and everyone just standing, like, just sitting there. She's like, am I the only one drinking? I don't believe them either. They just like, everything else is fine, but anal, you know,

they're like, oh my god, I will not admit to anal. And so Simone's like gross and she says the vagina is meant to stretch not the anus and Jackie's like I am never doing that never ever doing that Yeah, well then anneal is like she's like I'm a good Indian girl. I just had too much champagne to drink mom So then now everyone finally leaves to go to their rooms, which I thought happened last episode. Maybe I'm crazy. I seem to remember Jackie dismissing them last week,

but I guess, Bravo was like, no, let's have, let's just get that anal moment in, okay? So then, now just get that signal for the gaze, okay? We really need to work hard for this one. Yeah, so now it's nighttime. Everyone's getting dressed. Um, quad is face timing with her mom. Contessa's face timing with Scott and a rainbow wig, you know, it's that time of the show. Yes, for everybody calls home. And Contessa is doing that thing where she's pretending that everything's great, you know?

Kintessa is either pretending everything is great or screaming and yelling and crazy wigs. So this is you know that side of her So she's like, oh my god, it's such a fun trip. Oh, gosh I just I know you want me and Heavenly to make up, but it's not even affecting me. It's not even bothering me at all Yeah, And so, and Scott's basically telling Contessa, like don't talk to Heavenly Battle videos. Whatever you do, don't talk about the videos because basically he just wants to be friends with Damon and he just wants the woman to get over it.

So he doesn't want her to like, you know, reopen the wound. Can you imagine being like excited to hang out with Damon again? Has Damon ever even said anything that he wasn't forced to say? He's just like, I don't know. I don't have a good answer for that. Does he pay the check? I mean, what does Damon do exactly? Well, he has all sorts of insights about how women have to be soft and when they're aggressive They hurt the man. Should we order appetizers boys? You know like the Bible says like oh Jesus Christ Amen I don't think women I like my working. Can we have a waiter please? Oh, geez. There he goes

Can we have a waiter please? Oh, gee, there he goes. So it's another walking through the lobby and carries like, sisterhood of the traveling glitter pants. Get it girls, get it, glitter pants, sisterhood, traveling, glitter pants. Let me try that again from the top. Sisterhood of the traveling glitter pants. No one laughing still. I hope you guys enjoyed that because I was carrying one line for the episode.

That was it. The big contribution. I hope you guys enjoyed that because I was curious one line for the episode That was it Big contribution the so Toria comes down in an unfortunate body suit very unfortunate body suit It was like the entire documentary of that Lululemon thing that we watched Like all episodes is a row on one woman. Yes Lulule row It's one cool. It's just yeah It's one cold. It's just a story. And she's like, oh my God, that restaurant's cute.

Hey, with this restaurant opens up, we have to come and guess a bacon. And then starts Toyas' new journey to find bacon. That's all she talks about the rest of the trip is finding fucking bacon. We're in America, okay? There's bacon everywhere. There's flowers grown from bacon. You can go outside and pick bacon off the damn road, Toy America, okay? There's bacon everywhere. There's flowers grown from bacon. You can go outside and pick bacon off the damn road Toia, okay? You'll find bacon. You really can go get a breakfast baconator, which is something I almost got in the Orlando Airport. Oh my god

Orlando Airport food searches traumatized you for life. It has you guys don't even know Okay which is traumatized you for life. It has. You guys don't even know. Okay. Practice bakingators. So they arrive at this fancy restaurant that has cherry blossoms everywhere and quad, of course, is late. But then she makes a big entrance and everything. Oh, wait, Kerry has another line.

Should we do a cheers, ladies? The cheers of the sisterhood of the traveling glitter pants. Remember when I said that glitter? we're going to get a pants And contestants like tonight. I'm gonna turn Vegas up It's like you're gonna be in bed in an hour. I guarantee I know so then You know typical Vegas restaurant where you're like are we outside? I didn't realize we're outside Is this outside outside or Vegas outside? I'm really not sure. You really never know.

It was Vegas. So they're kind of in an inside-house side. Who cares? Quad comes and they do a little cheers. And Tory is like, oh, fudge. I put my purse on her chair. And now she's gonna sit here. But what about my purse?

Where am I gonna put the bacon if it comes? Yeah. And you know, you think for a moment, because they've already started to like toast without quad. And when quad gets there, you think, oh no, it's quad. It's gonna be mad. And she goes, if you start dinner without me, I'm fine. I know I'm tardy. Let's call it even because what had transpired was that I was late. It's like, okay, quad. And then some tourists, the Vegas tourists are killing at this episode.

Like some old guy tourist at the next table just turns and starts staring at them. It was so funny. It was like the breath of retired Fred Flintstone over there, it's like, what the hell's going on? It's always something in Vegas, as for sure. Yeah, and so quad then looks at Contestas wig and is like, wow, like, you're really, you're giving cotton candy. And so contest is like, I'm Chanel. I'm

working on an alias all weekend. And she's wearing a shirt that says Chanel on it. I'm like, okay, if you're going to come up, it was a necklace. Yeah. But like, like, if you're going to come up with an alias, try a little harder than just the necklace on your shirt. Yeah, her alias Chanel. So, Heavenly is saying like she's gonna be the bigger person and apologize to Contessa. At this Chanel? Chanel is a crazy bitch with cotton candy hair and the outfit. I'm just gonna let Chanel be. And the outfit, I'm just gonna let Chanel be.

So I can go Chanel. Contest is bad enough. Okay. I'll leave Ronald McDonald down there alone. Yeah. I don't need Contessa doing cosplay. So, um, uh, so now, but Contessa is now trying to, she's like, I want to go to a grown and sexy place. That's going to a sexy place.

So some, everyone's like, okay, whatever. So someone's like, I am going to plan that should take over the plan tomorrow. Okay, we are going to pretend there are no husbands and we are going to sit around my laptop and see if Michael has made it to school. Yeah, he's almost there. He almost made it to school. We're going to pretend there are no husbands, which is why I'm going to bring up marital problems. The first thing in the morning. So they're talking about how they're going to like go to a strip club and heavenly. He's like, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that with you guys.

So Jackie pulls out a curved whip. Where was that prop hiding? I know. I know. Out of nowhere, I went. She whips the table. I'm whips the table. Just had that in her pocket. And she's like, I wanted to give you all the taste

of what's going to happen after dinner. Well, that's fine. You do not have to put my place setting. So then lots of espresso martini's arrived and Kerry is very sad. She's like, and then food arrives and there are. Anila is like, do we need to take a shot? Should we take a shot? Because I'm fun and have a lens like, no, we don't. So Jackie goes goes you do

Pat and so bad a so in burn and so in burn oh really what do we have if we need to take pet and this silly and So I'm like pen and selling is for syphilis and that is on the rise in the ATL and she's like so quad be careful quad be very Be very very careful. Do not do that. Do not do that to me at dinner. Do not do that to me. I am single but before I lay in the bed with anyone we need to present a clean bill of health because we have one life and I need to treasure and value this fortress. The temple here, this temple here is the only one I'm getting in half. So if any syphilis transpires, I shall not abide by it. I conclude this case.

Well, so food is delivered and Toria is like, I just needed to bake it. Okay, Toria, you know, I think Tora is having some trauma from like losing all the houses that she keeps behind because she can't afford them. And I actually approve of this way of dealing with it where you just start becoming obsessed with things you can afford. I think it's a step to healing, you know? It's like you may have had to give up the house in the neighborhood with sidewalks, but you can have bacon, you know? You can have that baby steps, baby bacon steps. Yeah, she's just like 10 years too late.

I feel like it was 10 years ago when it was like really cool to be like, oh my God, I love bacon. Look, Avatish, or that says bacon on, oh my God, how to you? This has bacon, everything's better with bacon. No. But that's fine.

Toy is not known for being on time either. She was there for the bacon trend. When bacon was on trend. Yeah, that Bacon Trend died. A Swift Death, one that one guy went on to Big Brother and that was his whole personality was Bacon. And for a whole season, and he lasted some, I like the top three or four. He was terrible.

He was one of those people. And so that meant that we had a maximum season with him just talking about, Bacon, Bacon, Bacon on everything. And I was like never eating bacon again after that. That's gonna turn me kosher. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap-ins-com. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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So Jackie is wearing this sweater thing and it's got all these gold dollar signs all over it. And Quad is like, Jackie, does your jacket have some money signs on? And did somebody make that for you, Jackie? And someone's like, wow, did somebody just make that for you? She said that. And she's like, well, did somebody just make that for you? She said that. And she's like, well, it's just not you.

You make the money silently, silently and proudly. You're not loudly about it. You're not loudly, proudly not loudly. Hey, buddy, Jiminy. So then, so then, heavily saying like, well, she says, well, no, everyone here is successful actually So now Audra is almost on Audra like wakes up and she's like well according to you toya I'm not a good lawyer and toya goes oh shit here we go

So so Audra just decided to go in on toya and obviously she owns toya. It was hilarious She's like she's like yes here. Yes here. We go because we're talking about being successful. So yes So yes. So yes. Girl, I said it was a joke and it was a joke. She's like, well, I do not joke about my career. I am too African to joke about my career. And she goes, uh, African? She goes, yes.

In Africans, you're a, in Africa, you're a doctor, you're a lawyer, you're an engineer. Africans do not play when it comes to career. I'm from Ghana She's like Most people what most people would have been like, I mean, okay, sorry Didn't mean anything, but then toy decided to just fight anyway because she's toy. Yeah Yeah, toy it. Toy decided to go up against the lawyer so toy was like well All I was saying earlier was that you use your actual law degree when you were talking about Jack. Like, what does your what? Toyota wants to use their law degree. Does she want to have like to, like literally write

a legal brief at that moment? You know? And that's what I do at all times. I use my degree at all times. Would you like some more water, ma'am? I object. See, get out. Get out. You make living more. I'm taking notes. It's like quads in the background, running down things like what, what Audra said. The stenographic. So. Yeah.

Clot on Steno. I love that. I don't know it would be. Jupiter, you're pretty. So then, uh, so Audra is like, that's exactly what I do at all times because I'm trained, but I need you to do, use your critical thinking skills. Do you have those?

And Simone just looks at Jackie like, oh, shit. It's like, yeah, do it right now. And Quartz, like, well, now, Toya, you can't say that about someone's career. Oh my God, she didn't even do anything. Down my team, Toya, this is ridiculous. I don't know. I was not team toaya. I thought, well, I think, I mean, it was like a joke when she was like shade when she said it,

but like, the toaya was pretty obnoxious. I still think toaya was obnoxious, and I just, I just loved Adria just owning toaya. I thought it was hilarious. So, toaya's like, are you angry and hugged? I was like, no, I'm not angry. Are you clear though? Sure.

Okay, great. We can move on, adjourned. So, Toria's like, it was a joke. I said, it was a joke. So, Jack is like, okay, let's go to the next place. We're gonna pay the bill now. I have everyone's credit card, just joking. Toria, you can put the capital one plastic away.

Okay, we don't need that right now. And Simone's like, you don't even need a credit card, Jackie, because it's all, it's on my jacket. I know, it's hilarious, still Simone. Very, very funny. And Kitasas is like, can we pack some of this to go? And Jackie's like, no, Kitasas, we can't pack this to go. What was Kitasas thinking? Why did a pack have to go? No, Jack, he's like, no, Contessa. No, we can't fight this ticket. What does Contessa think? Why don't you pack it to go?

Like, you take it all that up to the hotel room and it's just gonna stink up and no one's gonna be able to eat it. Contessa, we are gonna turn Vegas up. Can I please have this to go? Don't degrade. I know, I know. So they walk through this small place, wherever they are.

And Anila's like, you wanna see me as you might end dance. And then she starts like, twerking. I think in Tessa's like, ah, that's your hood dance, your indie and dance, your three o'clock in the morning dance. So they end up at a sex store. And I'm sorry, listen, I don't want to be sexist or whatever. I don't want a man working in the vibe. Especially this man, I don't need like an aged-wee character working in the vibrator story, okay? Because he goes, do you, you, you have a vagina? Yes!

You have a vagina, yes! Wait until I show you how much of a vagina can tingle. And then heaven is like, she's like, you know, everyone's talking about my social media and my channel, but at this point I would not be surprised if Jackie had her own porn app channel and then they put up Jackie hub and Yeah, Jackie, I know that's very sexy. Okay. Yes. Yes. Give it to me. Please be tested for syphilis everybody Yes, yes, give it to me. Please be tested for syphilis, everybody. Yes, yes, give it to you. Hot, Jackie hot stuff. And then looking at like a sex pillow that like can sort of support you in various positions and Autos like, wait, they're looking at like all the diagrams and Autos, wait, is that a laptop?

Like, oh, yes, it's functional too. It's also like a lap desk. Well, how else do you look at porn? like a lap desk. Well, how else do you look at porn? I know, but it's just funny to think of using your sex pillow as you're also, as our tax write-off for your work at home. So, Jackie is like, Jackie's like, I want the ladies to leave you're thinking, a minascha, toa can be two people in a toy. I'm like, all right, no, I don't think so, but that's just two people with a toy. But that's a Monashia, to our story. So, yeah, some Monashia toy.

So the guy's like, okay, are we looking for internal external? What are we doing? And Tori is like, I want to ask you a question before you start. This group is obsessed with these toys. And then we see clips over the years of heavenly trying to just heavenly being in different emotional states about vibrators. You know, it's like one year. No, no, no, no, no, I won't do that.

The next year she's rubbing one ride on her jeans. Like, that feels good. The next year she's like taking one out to dinner. You know, it's like every year is another year of evolving for Heavenly's mindset on vibrators. So that was sort of a strange moment because we do see how many times this group does go and look at sex toys and it's kind of like,

it was weird, it felt like the show was calling itself out for having lack of imagination with the scenes to do with these women. It's a reminder that one problem that marriage medicine does have is that it does dip in the same well, like a lot. We've had a lot of the dildos, we've had a lot of the couples, Ashley thinks out on a beach. You know, ready for some new kind of things. Well, it's, it's kind of like the old classic way of showing that you're still interesting

as you, it's like you're insecure because you're getting old. Let's like an Erica Jane thing on Beverly Hills, like every other sentence is like, oh, yeah, well, I'm going to put my pussy on that. Hey, who's the toy now? So I'm me or you? You know, like she gets, yeah, it's like we get it, you know, you're still fine, you know, but um I don't know like at a hobby Why can't they play Katan Um, I would love to see that quad be like I have a brick and I need to sheep toy I think I'm I think I'm just aging differently because I'm like at the point where I'm tired of talking about my Rick and I need to sheep, toya. And you know me.

I think I'm just aging differently because I'm like at the point where I'm tired of talking about my sex life with my friends or hearing about theirs. I'm like how often do we have to talk, like we fuck, okay? You know, you want me to talk about my book? It's just like so natural in there that I think when they're talking about it so much,

I wonder how much they're really getting, you know, because they're always like, Oh yeah, I'm so sexual, oh yeah! Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree. I just don't think it's that fascinating, ultimately. I don't know, maybe I'm just like a prude and just, I don't know.

I mean, people probably hear me being like, there goes bad with another Katan joke. Wow, as you always make Katan jokes, you know. Let's make jokes about vibrators. So, now we can just talk about everybody jerking off. So Toy is like, I'm a shower head girl. Yeah, that's what I do. I love shower heads.

And then he was like, oh yeah, and now with my new shower head, there's like all the spouts, water pressure is your friend. And I just keep thinking back to my plumber coming a couple of weeks ago and lecturing me on hard water, you know? That sounds like that's. You guys have to use a lot of white vinegar up there. Like, do you have to do like white vinegar flushes? It do. So little baking soda.

I mean, what's going on over there? Oh, God, what is a vagina anyway? Let's get down to that. So then Quad is talking about how she has like lots of vibrators, but she has to keep them all hidden around her bedroom because it may never find one dot, dot, dot, you know, I'll be like that scene in parenthood where where Steve Martin pulls that Diane, we vibrate her. That's how I that was actually literally how I first learned what a vibrator was, was because of that scene. You're definitely a child of the 80s. Yeah. That's how we learned, you know, in our parents were like, oh my god, I thought this

was for children. So the guys like, okay, who knows tantra ones here. Nice. Nice. So Chantra, very, very intense. Okay. What we're trying to do is, oh, hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. Try his like, no, no.

No, I'm not going to do that. I don't see why, like how waiting three days is going to help me because I could have done it Monday Tuesday and Wednesday I had four climaxes in four days for the same damn climax I'm also by the way you know it's disturbing this guy looks like Stefan from top chef. Remember that guy's to fun Yeah, you reminded me of them that Strange like German chef So the counter was invented by an older guy who just couldn't come all the time. He was like, guess what?

It's a Buddhist philosophy. That's why I'm only coming once a week. Okay, tell you. And his name is Sting. No one is exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And Sting is actually a perfect example because Sting and his wife, Trudy, isn't it Trudy?

It's a swathe, right? His ex wife. I have a lot of divorce now. But she, they were, she was like, we have had sex for like 20 days at a time, or whatever. And Oprah's like, what? You had sex 20 days in a row. She's like, we never stopped.

Like, we would have breakfast. We were still having sex. And I'm like, wow. And then later, she's like, yeah, we didn't really have that much sex. Yeah. She's something we said. She's something we told Oprah, you know.

It is hilarious that sting wound up with someone named Trudy. It's like, hi, my name is Sting! And here is my wife Trudy. Right. It's like, was there no Bernice available? Pam. So, um, Sting and Pam. So anyway, um, Jackie is really happy with how the day worked out because

Contessa didn't beat the shit out of heavenly and they all had fun. So she's like, I'm giving myself an A plus. So now it's the next morning, so it's time for more face timing with family members. Yes. Uh, so morning, morning, morning, who cares? Simone comes to Carrie and Toya's room, and Toya's like, what's that girl? What's her name? The attorney? What's her name? D-Dra?

It's D-Dra, right? It's her mother's D-Dra. Please say you did not just call her D-Dra. That is a page out of Heavenly's Book of Shade. And then we see a flashback to heavenly being like, cone, tessa, c-o-n-e-t-e-s-s-a, cone, tessa. It really is. Do you draw?

By the way, something that was, Carrie actually had to get another line, but I didn't really understand it, because Simone said, how did you think the evening went and Carrie goes, like a Zeppelin? I don't, I didn't get it with carry doing bad lips or I don't know, to be evening go quickly. I don't know. I don't know. Understand it. So someone's like, when we're joking and jabbing, we cannot predict how someone else is going to take that joking or that jabbing.

Sometimes we tell a joke at somebody else's expense when we don't know how it's going to affect them. Now, Troy was mad and that's kind of the same thing that was done to her that she got angry about. So she's like, if you're interested in building a relationship with Audrey, then build. And if you're not, building your relationship with Audra, then build. And if you're not, then call her Deedra today and we'll see how that goes.

Yeah. Space they're being like, remember when you got mad because someone made a joke at your expense like vanilla did with the movers. Yeah, remember that. So then we have, we go back to Atlanta because, you know, apparently it's important for us to see what the husbands are doing. So here's what they're doing. Eugene is videotaping his kids, jumping in the pool. And he's talking about how he loves how quiet it is when everyone's gone.

And then Dark Curin is with his kids, and they're making pizza together, and he's like really proud of himself. He's like me making a project out of them, making their own dinner. Genius. I'm such a genius right now. Then we go to the sipping plant to Rarimde with Scott's kids. I was like, the figures you have to take them to a multi place. The other dads are like, you know, Swim, I'll go pro you. And he's like, we're going to a place called the sipping plant. So they're going to make terrariums. And one of the kids is like, what is Lauren have chopsticks in her hair?

And he's like, because she's a teenager, so she actually tries wacky stuff like that, right? Now, are you wearing makeup because mom's gone? Is that why? I think you need to ask your father about that eyeliner, okay? We're about to admit none to that movie theater, okay? It's about to be admit none. She's like, I'm wearing makeup at a protest of you dragging me to a terrarium place, dad.

So yeah, and then over, daddy is riding with Alora because she's learning how to drive. And then they're sort of like having Banta or about how she wants to stay at 12 a.m. And of course, he's like, little girls need to stay in until 4 p.m. They can't go out after. When the the sun goes down little girls can't go out They may lose their softness and

Haven't least like yeah, he's very he thought termed it be they'd him and he's like she's not manipulative She's like oh shit and then we see the way that a lorry does and it's so smart. She does bargaining manipulation where she's like Hey dad, I want a new car. Okay how about a Ford Focus? How about a Rolls Royce? How about a Range Rover? Okay. So she's got a...

Hey dad I'm going to go out to a Ford in the morning. No you're not. How about midnight? How about two? Okay. Two is fine. Okay. He is kind of a pushover.

So now we're back to Vegas. And now the women are gathering for like breakfast or brunch or whatever at a Mexican restaurant. And Simone is like, Jackie's day was all about self love. My day is all about fun and the mother fucking turn up. So they're just having a lovely brunch. The mother fucking turn up starts at just a lovely brunch. So it starts okay, you know, having these like chews to new beginnings. So they're cheezing and then the waiter comes over and toy goes, uh, waiter, where's the

bacon of this bed you? And she's like, um, no, for lunch, we just have traditional Mexican dishes. You might notice the name of the restaurant is not Viva. It's Viva. Um, so, you know, we, traditional, she's, oh, wait, so you tell them you don't have bacon. Like, um, I'm telling you, the restaurant's called Viva. So, you know, no bacon at all. Okay, I'm gonna, I think we have that as a side dish later, but I'll check for you.

We'll have one of our bus boys run across the food court and grab some bacon from cheesecake factory, one second. Okay, because I need bacon. So, yeah, Quad is like, can we call Uber Eats and get some joy or some bacon? So, um, can I say how? I'm not a bacon. What's wrong with bacon? I don't have high cholesterol. Like, um, I, you know, listen, I'm no doctor, but I disagree. Okay. Nine out of ten Ronnie's disagree with that, uh, statement. You have high cholesterol.

Just the, you probably got high cholesterol just from the amount you asked for bacon. Okay. Your body probably hears the word and starts producing shit in your body. Oh gosh. So um, Cadessa saying how her trainers can be pissed at her because she not only has like ignored his advice. She's, she's been like going like overboard.

So like she's definitely, you know, messing up her fitness competition. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. It's commercial. Simone, she's like, well, I have been working on a couple's book. Cecil and I have been married for 25 years, which is the longest of any couple at this table outside of Troya and Bacon. If you don't count the times, we were separated and had separate homes just for fun. So she's like, you know, I called everybody here at this table and you know, you gave me great advice even though I was debating you all. And Heavenly is like, well at least you listened. And she, someone says that during her divorce, like during her separation or whatever, Heavenly

and her were so close and Heavenly was definitely that one friend who would tell her to her face that she's being crazy. So you think she's going to be nice, right? But instead she goes, you know, even though you and I have a fundamental disagreement on how marriage is structured, you know, having these very big on just keep your mouth shut in your marriage. And she's like, no, I say just pick and choose your battles.

As women, we get our way a lot. So when the men put their feet down, you all got to, you got it, you know, you got your way 98% of the time. So shut the fuck up and pick and choose your battles if it isn't judgmental, then let them have it. I'm like, well, I mean, I think that in general in life, in marriages, in any relationship and any, any, like interaction you have with people, you should pick and choose your

battles. So I don't think that this is like revolutionary advice. Also, I'm not sure that women get their way all the time. I think that's one of the issues that plagues, you know, civilization. But sure, go for it. But Contest is like, what is even happening? Miss, I don't talk about my marriage. It's giving advice. And so she's like, who's writing who are you writing about girl by? So then Toria's like, you know that advice that you just gave Take the win battles. You're bacon Fried eat your bacon. That's the advice that somebody gave me when I first got married It was like, you know what? Here's a good piece of advice. Don't go to bed,

make him. Okay? Eat your bacon before you go to bed. Damn it. I need bacon. Where's my bacon? And so then, Jack is like, well, when you're arguing and nobody's listening and processing, you're arguing with a fool. That's no longer one fool in the argument. It's two, potentially three if there's bacon. And she says, after sex, that's when you have that talk. Kiss that nipple and get what you want. Madman, Jackie is like suckling on criticism, nipple being what? What do you think about getting a Prius? Jackie just sucking on that nipple saying, you're gonna watch that PT cruiser at some point

this weekend, aren't you? How about trading in that stutabaker you got for, I don't know, literally any car built after 2018. Please promise me that you're going to iron that silky shirt with waves on the front. Hey, here's the thought. Maybe no more shop to get fan using. So now they're starting to kind of pass aggressively, passively, hook at each other, right? Because, heavily it's like, you know, Jackie, if you're angry, the thing is,

I'll, you'll at least know if I'm angry, but if Jackie's angry, you'll never know, because she's at the pass of aggressive. Yes, and so Contest is like, well, I don't think there's anything wrong with that because you've got to pick your friends because it's too dangerous to have everyone in your circle. If you have too many people making decisions or telling you this or that. So obviously this went from husband to friends. So Contest is now trying to adopt this

that way she can go after Heavenly, right? Heavenly is like, well, that's what other flaws I don't have. And nobody can say to my husband, like, when I'm she can go after Heavenly, right? Right, Heavenly is like, she's like, well that's what other flaws I don't have. And nobody can say to my husband, like when I'm ready to go, like I'm gonna, like nobody can tell me to leave him and I don't give a damn what nobody says. I don't give a damn if you make up some shit. I'm saying, oh my God, damn it.

So now she's basically kind of like defending herself about the social media things that she's saying. So basically, she's doing a slow dance to get back to arguing with each other. Right. And someone's like, but it does make you mad if somebody makes up shit about your man and co-science it. And that's all contest is trying to tell you.

No, she didn't make anything up. All she did was talk about shit. Now, listen, I still, in this fight, I still think Heavenly's wrong. But she was wrong enough in what she did. You don't have to make it up now as far as about her co-signing and made up rumors. You can talk to quite about that later in the season when she finds out that heavenly's been telling people that she's been sleeping with a married man. Okay, we'll get to that later.

But for this, she was just repeating, she was just giving her opinion on stuff that Contessa had talked about. Yeah. And so, and heavily even says, she's like, well, she's like, no, she put that shit out there. Nobody made it up. So, and then we see a montage of Contessa telling everyone, all this shit about like, I don't know where Scott is. He might be cheating. I don't know blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. I don't know where anybody is at this point. Yeah. So Simone is like, heavenly, I need for you to get that when you hear your girlfriend repeating anything she said, it doesn't sound good.

It doesn't feel good. Jack is like, it's about to be an inferno in here. So contest is's like, words have power, words have power. Everybody, words have power. Power. Okay, Contessa. Thank you, man. I don't care how Contessa, how correct Contessa is in a fight.

She makes me fucking great. This is my least favorite kind of fighting. When you just sit at one end of the table and start yelling one phrase over and over again, it's like a housewives tactic that makes me freaking crazy. It's very Kenya. And very great. So now it's very Rina. Rina and Kenya. It's a Rina Kenya hybrid. You have to, yeah, you have to have an A at the end of your name. So, uh, Heavenly is now standing up and Heavenly is now she's sort of screaming and she's like, I don't want anyone talking

about my marriage. And if I don't want anybody talking about my God-da-marriage, I'm not gonna put it out there for people to talk about because everybody talks about everybody and his mother fucker. And that's the way of saying, like, look, if you don't want people talking about your marriage, don't put it out there which is

True it's actually true Like if you don't want people like don't put it out there and people won't be able to talk about it Which is actually true, but of course it's also a reality show So you know heavenly is showing that she's you know with holding from the audience of course at the same time She's showing that she's withholding from the audience, what do you mean? Well, like withholding, like, she's saying, well, I don't want to talk about, they're all saying, like, we think heavily as deflecting, like, there's shit going on in her relationship and heavily as basically admitting, like, I'm not going to share what's going on in my

relationship. Uh, like, I'm withholding my relationship from... Well, stupid too. The show. Yeah, stupid too. Like, you don't have to show every single thing. And I think a lot of them do the sharing, quote unquote, sharing, as they use it as a weapon against their partner.

I think a lot of the times. Yeah. Where it's not like, oh, you're just being such a good reality star that you're sharing things. You're like, you're going to war on camera, you know. And of course, Heavenly is like standing up and yelling and squealing, and Lady is taking a video with her iPhone,

like with no shame. She's like, it's the next table just to film and get. Yeah. And Heavenly is just like doubling down. She's like, my shit is perfect. I'm gonna say it over and over and over again until it happens. So it's like, oh, okay.

So you're manifesting? So this is basically Heavenly admitting that she's just saying it's perfect. So it's like, oh, okay. So you're manifesting. So this is basically heavenly admitting that she's just saying it's perfect. So it will be right. So, uh, some homes like, but so she's saying that she's worried that if she talks about her marriage, that she'll have to go on and drag her own marriage, because it was talked about on the so yeah, pretty much makes sense to me. So Contessa is still going, worth half, how, where, worth half. The waitress is like, okay, we got your bacon. Please, just everybody, please. Please. And yeah, she's just going on and there's

like a lot of crossock. And then Contessa, then Contessa goes, you're crazy as hell. If you think I'm mad at you, I'm like, wow, I wonder where Heavenly got that notion by the fact that you turned the conversation into this and are now screaming at her. And had a whole and a surprise intervention in your cheesy-ass screaming room to scream at her. Yeah, it was so weird. So having that notion.

Heavenly is, you know, you're mad at your man and you're misdirecting your anger over here. And Contest is like, what you just said is the problem. Where's that? And then, um, having this like, that's why I don't fuck with you. And then Contest up takes off her sunglasses and goes, I want you to see my eyes because I want to be very clear. want you to see my eyes, because I want to be very clear.

So then she stands up and then that's definitely like, we do not do dysfunction. And so now then she's screaming, I'm more people are recording on their phones. And then it contests us like, peace out, peace out. And they're just like chaos happening at this brunch. And yeah, so they're both being held back by two different groups of friends, you know? They're both being held back like in high school before they go into a fight. And Adi was like, oh my God,

the people at this restaurant just want their breakfast as to our life or the ass. But yeah, and Jackie is like, Meda-boss, we are here. She needs her medicine. And good to us is like, you areause, we are here. She needs her medicine. And contestants are like, you are an unfaithful friend, you're an unfaithful friend. And then he was like, heavenly, you love contest,

stop it, you know, you lover, you lover, you lover, you have been Lee. So she's like really trying to mend this, in this chaos. And of course, Joy is just like, I've just tried to enjoy my bacon. Okay, it took half an hour to get here. So, Viva, no, it's Viva. So then, Anila and Audra take Heavenly up to Anila's room

and Heavenly's like, I'm a mother! Do you have to drink up there? Okay, I'll go with you. Yeah. And it does as like, she's's like I've never told her secrets I never will because that's not who I am and there's just like a lot of There's like a lot of chaos so then contest it once

It goes from it goes from them being held back people holding them back so that don't get each other's ass Immediately to guys can we say a prayer? Oh, yes, can test. So please, lead us all in prayer now. Yeah, lead us over. Lead us in a prayer over your, you know, who have us when Cheros, please. So someone is like, someone is like, now God, I know you're busy dealing with bigger issues than ours. But right now I'm just asking for some special powers to rain down our group. Just please, I know we already used the first our first favorite to get toy of that bacon, but can we possibly get a second favorite from you? Oh my gosh. So toy of things that

this group is just so guarded and they let things down the surface and then they only blow up to get to the truth. And someones like, wow, you ate some bacon and now you're talking some sense. I now approve of the bacon. Yeah. Turns out all Toyota has needed all these years was just a slice of bacon. You would have been, you would have been the voice of voice of sanity. Okay. So now all the ladies, it's later. So everybody's gathering of this big stretch limo thing that Simone got. And of course, it's Simone's day. So she's doing her Simone as, you know, camp leader thing where she's like,

I am so excited. Woohoo! Look at this limo. It is my day. Does everyone have their box lunch? Look at this little it is my day Does everyone have their box lunch? We will be having a bathroom break and then after that Remember your body system say no to everybody So So yeah, I mean for me was sort of odd because I felt like the show, like the episode had already ended. I was like, oh, the big fight, you know, I thought there would be a 2P continued or whatever,

but I was like, oh, we're okay, we're, we're gonna still go because I guess there's gonna be some other shit that's gonna happen. So they're gonna go on the next event and they're all waiting in the limo, but like, Heavenly is not there. And so they're like, well, we want, Simone wants heavenly to be part of it because everyone has to be part of it. So she calls heavenly and heavenly is not answering.

You're like, oh shit, heavenly is mad. It's still like, okay, Jackie, you call heavenly now. So Jackie calls heavenly, but then heavenly calls Simone back. I'm like, okay, so there's no fight. There's heavenly just missed the call. Yeah, heavenly is there fight there. Yeah, yeah, oh, okay, so there's no fight. There's, have we just missed the call? Yeah, have a little fight. I've been there. Yeah, get up there.

So, Simone's big day, she is going to turn it out. They are going to party like crazy. This is going to be the best trip anyone has ever seen. We're going downtown Vegas. I was like, what? Yeah. Break. We're going to see Mont Street.

You do not promise me the best day of my life. And then take me to a covered downtown. Okay. And all indoor downtown. Are you fucking getting me? Roll down the windows, please. It's free. I mean, they're already just barely on the strip with that, that casino up there by circus. Circus. So, um, yeah, so they're going to go zip lining. And so Toya is like, there are so many other things to do in Vegas. On the street she's zip lining. Why don't we go to the Bacon Museum of America?

Surely that exists here, right? So she starts crying. She's taking that role in the housewives, you know, canine, where she's like, I had so scared of heights. So she's crying and they have to talk her into it and it's a huge moment for joy. It's here. Joy is about to change right in front of all of our lives and give us hope for our fans. And so they end up just tying a strip of bacon to the line and she jumps right on and gets down it. It's great. Yeah. She's like, wow.

Well, I've checked that off of my non bucket list. I conquered a field, which was of course a gliding over a man and a tiny t shirt standing in front of a subway. The sandwich shop that is the thrill of gliding past the footlock at 15 miles per hour. Wow. I'm glad I did it. Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, that brings us to the end of Merry Tumedic guys. They kind of try to make it. They try to make the zip lining thing like a nice button because Simone is like, see, we were able to come together after the blow-up. Blow-up. I mean, we fight and we play harder,

and the fun has only just begun. I'm like, don't try to make this zip lining seem like you've like come together in the name of Sisterhood. This is just zip lining. People are like, it's a free event. I'm gonna do it. It's a two-aya overcame a traumatic past episode over. Okay.

Well, thanks everybody. This has been fun. We'll be back tomorrow with some real housewives of Beverly Hills Friday with Southern Charm and Monday, of course, with our first official episode of Winter is crappin' for the house of Dragon. Yeah, first official one of House of the Dragon. So we will see you next time everybody. Bye! Watch what crappins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney!

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