Watch What Crappens - Married2Med: Bad Nudes Travels Fast

Episode Date: October 8, 2019

Toya's paint 'n' sip gives Swinging Richards a run for the money on "Married To Medicine." Will Heavenly be able to get away with it? Or will the gossiping men blow up her spot? Plus, Simone terrifies her kids with cottage cheese, Contessa drops a bombshell on Scott, and Jackie explores sex toys. Get tix to our live shows: http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay. Kristi Wawardy-Dawardy.

Jamie, she has no last namey. Sips some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Cassie Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. Aaron McNickalus, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Megan the Slayer Taylor. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird.

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. He makes us squeezy, Ritchie D. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson. Higher than Iris, it's Lauren Perez. Avonigila Weber. Lisa Wallent, now that's what I call wallentainment.

The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready. One day your Rachel's in, and the next day you're out. She ain't no shrinking violet kuchar. Yes we we can, with howly, caroling, and an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an an What's your coo-cheese? Watch what happens when there's so much that happens. Watch what happens when there's so much that happens. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch or Craft Bins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo

that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island available on YouTube. Go check it out. Enjoying me is a hilarious wonderful just a great person all around. It's Ronnie Carham. How's it going? Well, I'll tell you what's going on. It's Monday and we have a lot of stuff going on today. We are recapping married to medicine, which is so fun. And this week they added the extra joy of muscled men who are naked, which so like automatically top show of the year for me. So anyway, it's a Monday. We have a lot to talk about, a lot of recapping to do, but I wanna make some really important announcements. So before you hit fast forward, if you do that, I want you to listen to these,

because this is really important. First and foremost, we have our show that we'll be recapping for next week in Chapel Hill Enrichment. We're gonna be doing Orange County and Real House as a Dallas for Chapel Hill Enrichment respectively, so there's that. Also, we put our Austin show on sale last week

and those tickets went flying off the shelves. I don't know if it sold out already, but it is so close. So definitely be on top of that. And of course, this Saturday, we are coming to Atlanta. It's gonna be at Lantigay Pride and we are going to be doing the most prideful thing that we know how to do, which is recapping Real Housewives of Dallas

at the early show, and then a classic Real Housewives of New York for the late show. I mean, what better way to celebrate gay pride than remembering, you know, like Real Housewives of New York, the episode were Ray, his one and only episode where he yelled, you're trash, trash.

I know, gay pride, celebrating not gay ray, not gay at all ray. Yeah, someone who is not gay at all, who did not act gay at all on TV, on the gayest network on TV. How do you know about a pizza bitch? You bitch! You bitch! You bitch! Shaking my socks! So by the way, if you want to watch that episode, it is available on Hulu. It is a season eight episode seven.

It's called airing your dirty laundry. It's also on iTunes and stuff like that. So come the early show in Atlanta is really close to selling out, but we have plenty of tickets for the late show. So come join, come for both. We'll have a great time. So that's that. And then the rest of the stuff, here's the rest, the rest of the cities

real quickly. And then we're going to get on we're gonna get on with our show. We're doing our two shows in Atlanta this weekend. We got Chapel Hill and Richmond the following week. We got Tampa and Fort Lauderdale, and then we got an Indianapolis, and then two shows in Chicago, and two shows in New York, and St. Louis, and then two shows in Philadelphia, and a show in Denver, and then show in Denver and then in Seattle and then in January We have the 2020 golden crappies live from Los Angeles and then Detroit Columbus Austin and Houston. Oh, and of course We have amazing new merchandise Ronnie. Can you just tell everyone about the merchandise? We have a Shannon Bulldoor Merchie thing, their Midserts, Mugs, Water bottles,

all kinds of stuff that you guys have asked for besides just shirts. And there's also a Winflight, gives you tacos, make tacos, solid shirt for Cameron, and then there's a Dorks shirt and a Twerp shirt for Kelly, okay, you can get all that in different kinds of cups and whatever. So go over to crappenswirtz.com. Yeah, awesomeness all around.

So let's not delay it anymore. Let's just dive into marriage medicine, shall we? Wow, this show is really bringing penis back. Penis was just so unfashionable for such a long time and that's just, it's the whole episode, well, penis is anvaginas. It's like somebody lifted an embargo on the giant talk today.

Everyone's like, I've got a vagina. I've got a vagina. It was all happening. It made me really excited to be going back to Atlanta this week. That's what I have to say. Because last time we went to Atlanta, we saw a lot of Pino, OK? Sori is called Sween richards. So did we see Pino standing around eating cake?

That was the best part. No. The strippers just like bored after the party, standing around naked. No. We just saw strippers looking bored while they were giving people lap dances. That's all.

We just saw their dreams just shattered in their eyes. Is there like just 30 more minutes before I can go home? Here, let me grind on someone. Good times, good times. Yeah. So we're still at Toyos, paint and penis party. Penis and paint or whatever they call it. Yeah.

Paint and basically the men are naked, galloping around. Oh, and by the way, open it. Galloping. What are you doing? Galloping around with your penis out? Okay I hit your like like watch the watch what happens live secret word that the anti-comap points at Yeah, because this old guy named Bob Edwards used my first the first guy rented me a room in Staten Island when I was 18 years old

He used to say what are you doing going out there galavant around I thought that was the funniest word. So of course it comes back with Ben. Yeah, of course I'm bringing Gallup you know this show may be bringing Pina vagina back But I'm bringing Galavanting back. I'm Galavanting through this recap. It started with Bob Edwards and here it comes full circle with Benjamin Edward. And by the way, formal invitation to those strippers if they want to come to our show in Atlanta, they are more than welcome, come dressed as in whatever you want or whatever you don't want. We totally welcome, totally welcome.

Yeah, come on guys, we'll have cake. Yeah, we had cake last time, we had a wonderful cake last time. It was your birthday last time. That was delicious last delicious. Okay, so Jackie, all the ladies are reacting to all the pain. And most of them were cracking up. Jackie's having hot flashes. Yes, and contested just keep saying, this is probably never going to happen again in my life.

This is never going to happen again in my life. And then five minutes later, she's like, this is never going to happen again in my life. This is never going to happen again in my life. And then five minutes later, she's like, this is never going to happen again in my life. Yeah, it was like different, it was all sorts of different variations. We saw her go through an emotional journey by saying that phrase over and over again. Yeah. She just kept saying it. I think she's doing that thing where people don't know that they're, they're really good line is going to be cut out and editing.

So they just say it five times to make sure it gets out there. This is never going to happen again in my life. This stripper is the definition of the biggest bitch in the world. Did that make it in? Did that make it in anyone? Anyone? I'll just say it 10 more times this episode. And Toria, who started all of this obviously,

because it's a penis party, is like, keep yourselves together, your doctors. Yeah, and Carrie, who is there, by the way, Carrie from season one, she's like, I want to paint his cute butt. I have struggled for 20 years with having to paint cute butts. And tonight, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna paint a cute butt. It's a cute little little bot I'm not gonna tell Duncan about his cute little bot and Mariah is just so excited she says she hasn't seen chocolate dick in years she's like I think I could draw this in my sleep this was this entire experience was sort of like a Rorsash test Rorsach you know because it was like these two guys who were just greased up and naked and just, honestly, just sort of like prancing around, just enjoying this. And then we look at what people are painting or drawing or whatever they were doing. And it was all like these like erect boners with like semen dripping out. I was like, I don't think they have boners as far as I can tell.

And these were like up pointing up to the heavens. And as far as I can tell all the blurs were heading down, you know, yeah, they were very leaky penis is according to the pictures that they were painting. And also did you notice quad had one that looked like. I don't know if it was but cheeks that were open, but then she was drawing like a big red bow in, but like on the butt, I guess. And I just didn't like that. She definitely had like butt cheeks, but then there was like peeing along to the side. She's always like, I'm gonna get, I'm gonna get over here part, every part of the part, because I'm private too. And I don't want to share all my parts with you, Simone, right now. Yeah, her penis actually turned out good. That was her

painting. I take it back. I think it was. I could be wrong impressionist. It was like a butt, but then a peanut. Yeah, a penis off to the like a profile. Like if Barbara Walters was painting this, it's like a press. It's like when was the last time you cried? And the Jackie's like, my picture will answer that. It's like literally got tears coming out of it. And some of those sperm was blue. Someone made like blue sperms, like tears crying. Yeah, it was almost like a crying dong. It was, the point is this, I think the women were projecting what they wanted to see. I think they just saw stripper dong and they just,

all they just saw were boners at that point. And you know what, I was happy for them. I really was. And I'll tell you why I was happy for them because their men are constantly going off to the strip club all the time. And you know, some of them are even cheating, etc. But the point is that they're going to strip club and they always have access to strippers all the time. And when we went to swing in Richards in Atlanta last year, I remember thinking that it was actually like a very liberating experience because like for once there was something for like us for like gay men and honestly women to be like,

I wanna, I wanna ogle something too, you know? Like why should the men get all the fun, right? So I was like happy for them because I was hoping that they were having that feeling of empowerment. I mean, I don't think- Where'd you go out? You didn't go with a lot of straight people.

I see dick all the time. It's like normal. It's like happy hour. There's a meanness in your face. No, but I mean like- don't think you go out. You can go with a lot of straight people. I see dick all the time. It's like normal. It's like happy hour. There's a meanness in your face. No, but I mean like every gay bar. No, well, every gay bar has like go-go dancers, but they always have like a little thing. They always have like a little G string, whatever.

I'm saying like these were like full on naked strippers, you know, because like at every like premium TV show, well, now apparently there's been some catch up on the penis front. But like anytime you watch like Game of Thrones, you know, it's like Titz Titz, Titz, vagina, and then like the one like, like, beggar in the street gets naked, right? For them for us, that's what we always talk about, you know, like, it's just like there's like, we have to endure so much like Titz and vagina that we have to watch, which is obviously there's nothing bad about them, but like, you know, like give us some drop in one while spread the love. So like it it was oddly empowering to go to a strip club where the men were getting just totally naked.

So I was, you know, I felt like some of the women were probably feeling that at least carry, I bet carry really was. I bet she came back to Duncan and was like, oh, I had the most impaleering experience all you have here head tonight, Dunkin', you know? I think to the bot. Yeah, I think that it's depressing. It's like when you go, it's like when you're on the diet, you know, and you don't eat any salt or sugar.

And yes, I've lasted more than two days in my life on those things. And when you go, like, let's say, even to Golden Crow, somewhere with like really rich, just nasty food, and then you're like a carrot, like it just ruins everything. Like you're going home to Aiden and all those guys after this. And then the rest of the episode. The rest of the episode, everybody was trying to prove

their sexual worth, you know? Like everybody's trying to be really sexy, like Mariah and Aiden playing pool He's like let me show you how to play pool. I'll be right behind you Snack in your butt. It's like okay, Aiden, you know get out of here. What's your trucky here? You're still no stripper Okay, you don't need to be you're the husband But stop trying to compete with the swing-in Richards up there, right now I will say that watching these women paint, you know going back Quad, the best part is that she had this look on her face.

She was doing her role playing again, where she's like, all right, I am Pablo at Picasso and I'm going to be doing some painting right now. I'll be very serious, very serious inside the other studio. Beans and Paris. Beans and Paris. Her new line, close for giant penises. Yeah. And then we see Heavenly picture and she's only drawing the crucifix. Yeah. The crucifix tattoo. She's also throwing the crucifix tattoo with a little beard above it. Yeah. And she's trying not, she's pretending like she's not going to look down in the peen region. But we see her at

one point, like looking up at the chest. And she like looks down to her pad to like to paint a small or draw, but then of course her eyes totally stop for like a millisecond on the peen, like, I'm gonna get a look at that, prison on, prison on. And then we cut to fantastic going, oh my god, I'm trying to get every nook and cranny. I may never get that day, but I was like, yeah, you're the specimen of perfection. So gosh, so then to you, so this is a lot of penis notes. It's kind of like nothing penis penis for like three pages. It's true because not a lot actually happened.

It was just like penis penis penis penis penis penis. So everyone does their paintings. And then I don't know if you caught this, but toy. Toyos. So, uh, everybody pretty much finished with their photos. So everyone does their paintings and then I don't know if you caught this but toy toy goes so Everybody pretty much finished with their photos. They were finished with their photos. Wow. These are awesome photos These are awesome photos. I'm like is someone gonna tell Toya those they're not photos Portoia could you imagine Tori just trying to get a selfie on Instagram? It's like 30 hours later She has to do it 16th century style.

She just has to sit very still until like, you know, it's a Vinci. Yeah, it's a profile with a penis coming out of her nose. That's why I lose her. What I should have did. What I should have did was use natural camera to take my photo, not a pink brush. Oh, to yeah. So then Mariah is like, oh, I just took a picture, heavenly. And heavenly is like, I never received, praise Lord, I never received. Yeah. We should also

mention Simone's painting, which was just a heart. She painted a heart, which was a like, novel, was in front of her. And also a lazy painting lazy painting like if you're not going to paint the guy like just do more than a simple heart like it was not even like a heart with various shading or filled in or in a background it was literally like four strokes of a paintbrush. Yeah well maybe that's the one I thought was quads because I just saw like that red coming out and I was like you shouldn't put that anywhere in your private part. It's like, nobody wants that. But also, I love that Simone is so not into painting penises at a strip party.

But then later in the episode, she draws penises for her sons on plates. And then puts mayonnaise all over them to show them what STDs are like. Oh, Simone. Just maybe like, maybe she just, you know, it's like a printer. You know, when your printer gets messed up, and so you try to print something, and like, it's like a printer. You know when your printer gets messed up and so you try to print something

and something doesn't happen. So you try to print something again, it doesn't happen. And then you sort of forget about it. And then the next day, you go to print something and then the printer was like, okay, I'll work now. And then print the two things beforehand that were in the queue. You're like, oh, shit. So maybe she just had the penises in her painting queue

and they just hadn't come out yet. Yeah, there was this way to come out. Yeah, she got she got them nice and ready at this stripper party and then they just splashed when her kids were around. Yeah. So, um, Mariah's like, I wonder how Daddy would feel seeing her get picked up by a naked man with big shoulders in his six pack and a penis he can still see and straight teeth. Yeah. Yeah, because basically one of the strippers just picks up heavenly at one point and she's like Oh, I'm pretty slow daddy daddy that bitch picked me up So Toya thinks she's fixed all her friends now. Yeah, which you know look as a gay person I can say we know Dicks in your face don't fix friendships. They don't. They don't. Many of us have tried it. That's the work. But it gives us something to talk about. And I have a news like, daddy, I don't

want to see their penises, but now that I saw it, I am thankful for the penis I have at home, which is smaller and less fun and attached to a less attractive body. Priscilla, Priscilla. Yeah, don't lie. That's like, That's like test driving a Porsche and being like, you know what, I really want to go back to my camera. Yeah, really from 10 years ago. Well, actually, I can see that I would say something like that. So let's use a different analogy. I know, I just heard myself say that and I was like,

Ronnie, why are you fucking with Ben? I didn't even do that on purpose. I was just thinking of car models and I don't drive. So I've heard a lot about the camera really. It's like, it's like driving a Bentley and then say test driving a Bentley and then saying you know what I think I want to go back to my 87 Honda. Yes, okay, better. Yeah, that's better because I was like I could see myself getting into a Porsche and being

like this is too fast I actually don't like it. Yeah, this is not so bad. And I feel like a douchebag driving it. I want my Camry back Although now I'm a super room man, so what can I say? Oh? I'm a super room man I'm gonna make a shirt for you that says I'm a super room man. Yeah, yeah, I'd like that Little horn Or do you confess right? You haven't even heard my horn now like my horn has like no authority like my camera

My camera horn had little authority my Subaru horn has no authority like literally I beep at people and they it's like I'm not even there. It's like I you would think I'm on a tricycle It is more to fine. Have you been I haven't taken I don't think I'm for a man who doesn't need a horn with authority I don't think I'm driven you in the Subaru Have I right no I've seen it parked in its gorgeous. Thank you, but I want me to give you a ride Just so you can hear the horn because obviously someone will annoy me and I will help get them. Oh, I'm sure I'll be with you with your Haunt. I'm gonna kill that and it's like some 80 year old. Oh, yeah, because I always I have to make sure I have to make sure the odds are stacked for me in case there's an actual fight that breaks out.

So 80 year olds watch out. I know big muscle guys. You're like, I don't need a horn with authority. I'll just stare at them. Just grow. Okay, so now we go over to Buffy talking. Yeah, trying to be nice to Toria. She's like, thank you for this amazing party. Oh my god. What a good break for tax season, which, you know, it's not something you really want to bring

up when you're trying to make nice to Toria. Buffy. Yeah. Toria is like tax season. What's that? We have to pay taxes. I thought we were to pay them three years ago. Do taxes get a holiday now? I don't understand that. We have a season for cabs. What? No taxes. Oh, there's two things that's for sure in life. Die. Like, am paying taxes? No, just die. You said two things. That is two things.

To lose. Die and in. Die and in. I'm not stupid, thanks to the police. Die and aim, die and aim. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's New Podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,

from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Beaver, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. How much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Up. Come see us in Atlanta on October 12th, two shows. 7pm we're recapping Real Housewives of Dallas. 10pm we're recapping a classic New York episode called Airing Your Dirty Laundry.

It's with Ray season eight episode seven Watch your crap and thought come for tickets Have them they say How are you stuff did you wake up all your stuff and toys like not yet? Toys this is the season. I guess every season is like this But especially this season of making tiny things that we don't even understand why they're fights and these huge sea-small fights. Yeah. So it's just gonna still keep coming for a buffy.

Yeah. And Heavenly's like, what happened? Did you do something to provoke her? Did you do something to provoke her? Did you, what did you do to her? This would be a good time to say that we did not realize this last week. We post about it on social media, but for those of you guys who have been so lovely

to send us messages, et cetera, apparently the lady Jocelyn from last week was on Love and Hip Hop, and apparently she's a monster, and she starts fights with everyone, and apparently Toya was lucky to get out of that fight as cleanly as she did. So that's the story on Jocelyn. She's already a reality star and she's already quite messy. I know that's like when you find out about Game of Thrones too late, like you did and then you have to go back and watch them all. It takes up your whole life. Now I have to go watch

all of Love and Hip Hop. Love and Hip Hop is my Game of Thrones. I have to go back and watch every episode. Love and hip hop is my game of thrones. Yeah, I have to go back and watch every episode now. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that's a show to take on. I'll say that much. I think I'm probably the first person in the world to say, love and hip hop is my game of thrones. But you know what?

There, it's that thing. It's out there. Yeah, who knows? Maybe a bonus episode will do love and hip hop, but maybe not. So anyway, so Buffy is basically like, listen, well, my thing is that I can't control grown people and when she did say that to you, I did defend you because this is referring to Jocelyn saying that Toyota looks real thrifty at the thrifty party. She has to pay her taxes.

She was just coming really hard for Toria for no reason. Yeah. I mean, we know the reason. Now we know. Oh, yeah, just because she's like, no, that's because meaning that before we're like, who is this Thursday bitch? And now we know that she's professionally, a Thursday. Professionally, yeah. So, yeah. So Buffy did kind of defend her, you know. But Toria's like, but what I got from you was that that you were that what I got that you you were like, you and my friend had a spat and now just take you to the St. Regis for the spa day. And Buffy's like, that is not how I said that to you. And then we cut to her saying it.

And that is how she said it. But she was still trying to be nice to her. Yeah. Since when is that? Like since when is Toya in a position to turn her nose up at a spa day at the St. Regis free of charge? I mean, Toya get over it. That is exact. That is actually a very nice thing that she offered to do. She basically is like, I'm sorry.

Let me make it up to you by taking you to a spa day. That shows that she was like, she felt a certain sort of way. Otherwise, she would have just been like, I'm sorry, but I can't control her. Anyway, do you want, you know, pick a cocktail blanket? I mean, whatever it's called. Toria makes no sense. I mean, this is a woman who's wearing a shirt that says the gym is my happy place. Shut up, Toya.

Okay. No one is buying that the gym is your happy place. Just cut it out. It's like me walking around with, you know, like, I love. I can't even think of I can't even think of something. Portia is. I love galavanting and porches. Romain lettuce, my happy place. What does that make it so? Cause I have it on the shirt. Come on. Iceberg straight ahead. Also known as my happy place. And I'm talking about us. Yeah.

Okay. So if I feel like that's how I said it. And she's like, ah, and she goes, I'm not even the wedding called your husband. Oh, because she said, but at the end of the day, I didn't know what my note said, because I've started just writing down at the end of the day. It just a T T E O F T D. Now I don't know why that would make it easier for me, but people on Bravo say that so much at the end of the day, it just ATT E O F T D. Now I don't know why that would make it easier for me, but people on Bravo say that so much at the end of the day. At the end of the day. At the end of the day. At the end of the day, you'll get nothing for nothing.

You can't die for the life of the poor. Is that from like laymirs? Is that laymirs? Yeah, so opening song of laym is at the end of the day It's not funny. That's the opening song is at the end of the day The iron Layers lay those what they should have called that was lay end of the day Then I'm driving around in Texas my iPhone connects to the blue teeth in the car And it just plays everything in alphabetical order because I don't have any playlists set up or anything. So it goes from like, you know, laym is to like little shop

of forest to Adele, you know, like it's like this random mixture. And I was cracking out because last time I was there, I was listening to some Beyonce song from homecoming. And then it's, you know, the day you're gonna nothing for nothing. So God, I need to fix this. I have my issue is that there's like truly only one Ed Sheeran song that I actually like. It's called The A-Team which was his first song. It was like an apple download years ago. And so my thing, mine does the same thing. It starts whenever you plug in your phone to the car or whatever. It always goes like alphabetical because like you always mind alphabetical right and

So every single time it's that song and I actually still like that song But it bothers me to my core that the very first Artist that comes on is always Ed Sheeran like it drives me absolutely nuts. I can't stand Ed Sheeran And I know that like I love my car But my car always wants to push Ed jeer in a genders on me. It's just the worst. I know, because it's like you work hard for your new car, and then just having your phone connect to your car is so crazy.

Wow, yeah, I never had that before. It's like a first world thing, you know what I mean. And then to work that hard and just have other resentment, it's like the world just being like, fuck you. Yeah, fuck like your hard work And I said yeah, and it's just like annoying in general that like it always starts alphabetically just that I just started a random song like that's it's called shuffle start on a random song Don't make me then have to press like next to get to my first my true first song like it's always gonna Push Ed Sheeran on me every single time.

Until I get a song that is actually, you know, oh, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna download the theme song to the 18, so that way the theme song to the 18 takes precedence over Ed Sheeran, hopefully. And then, now that's a song I would not mind opening up every, like starting my car to every single time.

Da da da da da da da da da da da da da. I'm like, yeah, we're going time. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. I'm like, yeah, we're going somewhere. Well, mine is at the end of the day, which is really depressing and everything. But then it goes to Aquarius, which is from the movie here, which is fantastic. So I'm just like a mixed bag of emotions by the time I show up somewhere.

It's like I'm poor, but I'm happy, you know? That's a very alanness of you. I'm poor, but I'm happy. I'm a cheer-in, but I'm also a theme song. At the end of the day, I'm runny. At the end of the day, you can't talk for nothing. Okay, so the point is, Buffy and Toy are now fighting. And she's like

Enter is like but ATT EOFD She's like you someone called my husband a bitch and she's like well, I didn't call your husband a bitch Do you not remember I was the bitch you defended you when contest I call your husband a bitch Contested just got out of trouble. Okay. I know. And then it cuts us some own going Perhaps my decision to bring Buffy Was not a good one. You think Simone you think looks So Buffy they're pulling Buffy away like holding Buffy back and don't hold Buffy back I want to see what Buffy can do get out of here. I'm very happy with Buffy. I think she's a great addition You know sometimes you can just tell when someone's a good addition. I feel like Buffy is that. You know, who is not a good

addition? Lisa, what's her face with Lisa Marie? Well, I forgot, I was at least, I've got her Lisa Nicole. She was pretty good. Actually, Lisa Nicole, I mean, she was in the head so much drama. But she was, she had a lot of drama, but none of it was interesting. Those were to me like the the dark days of marriage and medicine because I thought that even though there was like all that good shit around her like it was a Rosemary gay and all that stuff. She had a fight with quad. I still found her to be like just so uninteresting to watch whereas Buffy I'm automatically interested in her even though she's not so hot.

Well, Lisa had that really fast fall from grace. I mean, she just turned into just a monster by the end. I mean, she really fell hard from grace. Yeah, because the first season, she was like, I am an entrepreneur. And everyone was like, wow, Lisa Nicole, she has events. And then everyone just realized that she was a sham. So anyway, so they take Buffy outside and contestants Simone are with Buffy outside.

And Buffy is again saying, like, look, I was defending Toya against my friend and I've known that friend longer. That put me in a bad position. Like, oh, I stuck my neck out for her. And Contessa goes, well, you know, Toya can be difficult. You just gotta get past the ref exterior, but stick it out.

Or you to say this Contessa, you're the one who made a whole stink about Toya slapping your boob as if it were like a capital offense because she got startled by a crab. So like, what are you talking about sticking it out, get through the tough exterior? You did the exact opposite. Crab set have such a huge role on this show. I know Contessa's been talking to her for two days. I mean, yeah, two hours. They made up, they like had like a semi makeup at the beginning of this party. Yeah, two hours. It was just a week ago

So that's how it is in my head. So Toria we cut back to Toria. She's she's going that girl isn't even by Fred She's not even supposed to be at my party. Okay, Toria. This is such a classic housewives thing where you throw Group shooting days and did you try not to invite people so you can keep them out of the cast? That's not how it works. Okay, like she's in the cast now. She gets invited to things She's even gonna get invited to your penis painting and she's also being really nice to the entire time And she also offered to take you to a fancy spa. She didn't she wasn't saying I'm gonna take you to massage envy She was taking you to the same region. Okay, so like you need to get over it. All right, get over it. And then she's a brat this whole episode.

She really is. But then this all ends, I'm sorry, I just had a coffee burp. Did you guys all hear it? Because I'm sorry if you guys all have to hear that. Did you hear it? A little coffee burp. Okay, so, but anyway, so the scene basically ends with, as you mentioned before, you just see the stripper eating cake

and it just like zooms out and you're just like naked eating a piece of cake like well At the end of the day, this is a pretty good snack Yeah, also fucking for eating that piece of cake and having a great body fucking I know and he was so nonchalant about it Like he does it all the time, you know That's what was really offensive because on most of these shows when people eat cake Like oh, I'll have a bite of the time. You know, that's what was really offensive. Because on most of these shows, when people eat cake, like, oh, I'll have them out of the cake. Oh, sure. No, look at me. Or like my bad thing's like, look, I'm eating, I'm eating, I mean, look at me eating one piece of popcorn at a time. Look how I'm doing it. Or I'm definitely, yeah. Or I'm definitely

hills when they all order a size of cake and put it in the middle of the table to share. And then no one takes a bite. Yes. And he was just enjoying it. Like, I'm perfect. to write it down this week. I couldn't get all of it because it kept cutting between scenes. Right. So now we're starting. We keep cutting between the beginning and the beginning. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I couldn't get all of it because it kept cutting between scenes right so now we're starting in rhapsody. We keep cutting between the beginning scenes like here we are another day in Atlanta so she's like you can try if you want to you can say your prayer if you want to try if you want to say your prayer if you want to and then contest is playing with her kid with yeah silly buddy yeah that can't have children anymore. Why would you put game over after that scene? What the hell, Trixie?

I don't think they're even listening to this. I don't think they're gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that.

I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just gonna say that I'm not gonna be able to do that. I'm just have children anymore? Why would you put game over after that scene? What the hell, Trixie? I don't think they're even listening to the lyrics of the song as they put these clips in. They're just putting them all together. Because then we get Simone with Cecil and Simone's telling Cecil about the strippers and they're just sort of like laughing about it, etc.

And then we go over to Mariah and Aiden. I have to say what he said because it was so funny. He goes, she goes, yeah, well, they started with their robes. And he said, how many guys are we talking about? She goes, God, you don't even give it to him. I could run off with one of them. See, so he goes, oh, they did bright you back. He's like, actually, they were hired on the kids' force app.

So we actually, I was actually controlling them. So kids force app. So we actually I was actually controlling them He's like it turns out kids force is useful after all So Simone. Yeah, so they do that and then and then we go over to Mariah and Aiden playing pool And this is what you're talking about before where Aiden's like look I can shoot a ball. It's good. Look at me doing this. It's like, okay. And he spanks her when he's teaching her how to shoot the pool. You know, she looks so excited. Like I'm glad we have an entire room for this pool table. Yeah, exactly. And then Trixie's just going off. She was just, I remember at this point where I was like, wow, Trixie is going off on this right now. She really was. She just kept saying game over to everyone's scene.

Game over. So then we finally land at Dr. Eugene's office and Toya walks in with a box of crispy creams. And I'm like, Toya, why are you bringing crispy creams to Eugene? That is, like you are just cruel, cruel. I know. And she's bringing the sugar coffees from there too, you know, like the lattes with the

ton of sugar and so I don't know about those. I haven't been to, you know, those, I know those lattes that you see that look like they're from 7 11 and whenever you get a coffee from 7 11, they're super sugary. So I'm just assuming she's bringing again, like a giant milkshake type coffee and crispy creams and this is going to call them fat. And to that, I say thanks a lot mother. Okay, it's like my child is like, you're gaining weight. Here's a box of little debis go to the play room. and Chris B. Creams and this just going to call him fat and to that I say thanks a lot mother. Okay, it's like my child is like

you're gaining weight. Here's a box of little Debbie's go to the play room. You're two generous. You're two generous. We all know it was about 45 pixie six poured into some you who.

You remember someone got mad at me for saying you who at was it. I think it was one of our shows was at the Tennessee show Nashville I said you who it's someone was like boo. I then afterwards she came up and apologized She's like I just really don't like you I got really into that which I get cuz I would I would totally boo like a strawberry decorate boo. I hate you Trash little berry seeds your trash berries. She gets us that heckler. She she was in the spirit of crap and that night.

So Toria comes in and she's got you know like you said this huge rocks of donuts and This isn't nice, you know, it's like fit is no longer the deal. Like we've just dropped that whole thing But that he's not even gonna make her anymore and she justing at him. Like, where's the pictures of your wife? Because now he's the head of emergency the entire emergency room group. Yeah. I don't know what that means, but you know, I'm happy for Eugene, regardless. Yeah, I mean, too. That's a nice big office. So they get in and taught. He's like, you know, I heard someone, some of the men are upset about the penises and she's like, Oh, whatever, they're uptight. And he's like, you know, I heard someone some of the men are upset about the penises and she's like, oh, whatever They're uptight and he's like, well, I was thinking of a boys nap for damage control

Which is such bullshit because I hate that they need to have like like oh now we get a we get a night with the strippers because you guys got one I'm like no, no the women got the night with the strippers because you guys have had like millions of those nights So why do you guys have to have all I guess he wasn't saying stripper night, but you know, it sort of was implied. I'm mad. I'm just mad. The crispy cream's really triggered me. Well, this is, I don't know if this was just shot out

of order or what, but he's saying, well, you know, I mean, it wasn't just looking and painting. I, there was somebody taking somebody up. Yeah, the guy that the husband felt like they had been bamboozled in a certain way. So he has to make make good with the guys to be like, oh, sorry, that I didn't tell you that that be that there were gonna be like stripper strippers there. But I still feel like it's bullshit.

I feel like the guys have to get over it because you know, they've all gone to the stripper clubs many times. Yeah, no kidding. And look how the ladies acted. They're like, oh my god, a penis. And the guys are just like, whatever. We love the way. Yeah, no kidding. And look how the ladies acted. They're like, oh my God, a penis. And the guys are just like whatever. We love the way. Yeah, exactly. So they start talking about their house because it's almost ready, but not quite ready to move in. And Toya's mad that they're going to move in before it's finished because it's going to ruin her child's, it's't have baseboards. And I was like, you know, this is very shady towards Cherey. Yeah. I feel like she's attacking Cherey from afar. I know. Poor Cherey in her shadow. That's just not nice.

So, so basically, yeah, because their rental lease is running out and they apparently the landlord has someone already lined up. I mean, you would think they would just go month to month until they would until their place would be done. I mean, it's not the, it's not, I feel like a fairly standard thing is you are like a one year lease and then month to month. I don't know. But the point is this, they have to move into the new place. And, and, but, but Eugene says the upside is that their contractor, Neil, lives just down the street from their new

home so that they can just go like knock on his door and pastor him and Toya's like, uh, we, or me because you're not going to do it. I'm like, yeah, of course he's not from their new home so that they can just go like knock on his door and pastor him and Toya's like We or me because you're not gonna do it. I'm like, yeah, of course. He's not gonna do it because he's working At a hospital as a doctor funding this house to pay for your gigantic house toy It's up with a two-story closet. Yeah, so Toya yeah, Toya is just a brat to him and now she's mad at him So she's like well, I'm taking the donuts because you can't have the sugar. It's like, okay, okay. You've officially triggered me and my entire childhood is back in my brain. And I'm cutting myself. Okay, thanks. Toya. So now it's 9 p.m. and it's bro over at Jackie's office and Simone comes in. She's like, Jackie, Jackie, Jackie! So, Jackay, Jackay, Jackay.

So, you know, some money, Jackie, do what they normally do together, drink a to go beverage. That's what they love to do. A smoothie or a to go beverage. I love it. They love a big styrofoam cup. I'm actually surprised they're not at the picnic table, because that's their favorite place to shoot the picnic table outside the strip mall office. Yeah. So, I know, well know it was too dark for that. There were probably

some raccoons there like probably like the Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone of the raccoon world we're shooting their scene over there. Well, we can't use the bench because raccoon marriage medicine is happening right now. So we'll just have to shoot in the side tonight. Why is this nut smoothie green? It's a guy with smoothie. So Jackie, we find out has another business. Her newly, her new yearly business, because Jackie has a different thing that she's not necessarily business, but Jackie has like a theme that she's working on every year. And this year, it's a book called Queen V. Yeah. All about sex because every woman wants to have a lot of,

what does she say? Queen V is the book about all there is to know about sex. The Bible. Down there. The Bible for sex and to Messiah down there, health. Which I mean, it sounds really cool, but I have a hard time believing that she's the first one to come up with this concept

I'm pretty sure there are like books lining the shelves of Barnes and Noble's that all have the same idea But you know what Dr. Jackie all the power to you because you're my day. I just take it as it's the first one That's like a commas teacher, but come a sutra. I might say that come a sutra But it has like lecturing tips, you know like now enjoy Sitting from the headboard on your husbands, whatever. But don't do it without a handy wipe, Near, because, you know, she's very, I don't know. I don't need down their health mixed with my sex. I need them separated, okay?

I think they kind of go hand in hand, unfortunately. Well, they do, but you think about them with different minds. Well, it's not, well, you know what? I'm not even going to weigh in on that because this is lady. This is lady stuff and the ladies will know what they need. And I as a man don't know really. I don't even know what a vagina is. I think it looks like a stapler, right?

Is that how it works? The join us make this sound with their mad and traffic. So either way, she's got this book. And so she's talking about how she's like well in the book I wrote The only penis I've seen has been my husband's penis and now I don't know if I can include that anymore after a Pinship so I don't know and meanwhile Simone just picks up a vibrator and starts doing a mic check into it. Mic check. One, two, one, two. One, two, one, two. Yeah, she's got all these sex toys around her, which I just think is hilarious with Dr. Jackie. Yeah, it is funny. It's just funny that that's her new thing.

It's like last year is counting calories and this year it's like dildos. But it's quite a jump, you know, yeah. So then we go over to the South House, Simone's South House, where her Simone and the whole family are moving in, but they're walking into the house. And Simone is making miles and Michael make the beds upstairs. It's kind of like watching Belodec in a very stationary and non-glamorous way also in a house. It basically was like in between charters and everyone's cleaning up the yacht, except it's like a suburban house

and there's teenagers doing the work. Yeah, because now they're gonna use this house for a Airbnb, which he's so like, well, this is an opportunity for me to bring some money in. I want an Airbnb, because I love the Airbnb shows that have come out as the new kind of HG TV shows This needs to be able to tell things for Airbnb's. I love those shows Could you imagine Simone and Cecil on on instant hotel? I mean it would just be amazing just amazing I did not feel like I had a good night's sleep sea salt. I feel like the

homeowners have ignored our friendship in our girlhood. The devils and the details, that's what I always say. Fossy couple. So not only is this an Airbnb scene, it's also a sex education scene. Yeah, two for one really, because after the after everyone cleans up the house, and by the way, really mad, I did not know about this Airbnb before we booked our Atlanta travel because you know, I told you would have stayed at just just to say that we stayed at Simul and Cecil South House. I told you would have said we what we should book that Airbnb. Yeah, the best part was the box, like the Costco box of Trojan condoms

next to the Costco-sized juveter or whatever was up there next to it. Yeah, so anyway, so the family sits down at the table and Simone is like, all right, so I wanna talk to you about Saks Ed. Are you guys familiar? What sex is? And Michael's like, um, I'm 21. Yeah, it's like, it's, uh, you're a little late. Okay. She's like, but I'm going to draw penises on a plate. So she draws these penises on two paper plates and then just starts putting nasty shit on it and going like this is herpes.

This is chlamydia. It's like sardines and vammies. This is a syphilitic ulcer. See this kind of cheese? If this is coming out of a girl's vagina, it is probably a yeast infection. You should stay away. And they're all just like mom. Yeah.

So she gives up, you know, they talk about consent and all that stuff. It's actually a good talk. It was really good. She's like, don't, base is like, no matter what if a woman says no, if you do not get a yes, you stop no matter what you, no matter what, you stop. Otherwise you go to jail. Yeah. And then she, they're like completely mortified by this whole conversation.

And then she eats some of the yogurt. She's like any questions. Any questions as I eat my, my visual demonstration of syphilis, any questions. So let's go over to Quads. She's talking to her lawyer. She's like, how you doing, Jeff? And he's like, oh, you know, busy suing people. Yeah. She's standing at her kitchen island, talking to Jeff, the lawyer. And she, like she has like a little cheese platter out and an unopened jar of peppered pickle or pickled peppers. And I was like, I'm very curious to see where this goes. I know. How does this keep a relationship together? Can't wait to read this recipe.

Isn't my book? Pick up my words. You wait to read this recipe. This is my book. Pick up my words, you have to put them out in one of them. Cheers, plate. So, Avaly comes over and Quad has to go down the stairs to get Avaly and Avaly just comes in squealing. He's low. He's low. He's low.

I was speaking to daddy, lawyer. Hey, daddy. Oh, prisonoid, you got the cheese, okay. All right. I was singing to daddy lawyer Oh prison, oh you got the cheese okay, all right, hey, do you have any take you have any crackers? Everybody crackers cheese and quad is like oh Is getting a divorce but the meantime our crackers are very important I'm trying to talk So she's on that that she's interrupted, and Heavenly just keeps interrupting. She's like, I'm so sick of hearing about this divorce.

I mean, I know that your war stress would be about it, but come on. How do you not know that I know she is? She doesn't know that she can't give me cheese with no crackers. Her man left her because of cheese and crackers go together. You know, they haven't really believed that to you, by the way. You've got to give your man cheese with crackers go together. You know that Heavenly truly believes that to you by the way.

You gotta give your man cheese with a cracker. If you don't have cheese with a cracker, then he's just gonna leave. I mean, everyone knows that daddy always says that's why I always have a cracker ready for daddy. Daddy, Priscilla, Priscilla for crackers. What a cracker, Swasta crackers, Rich Crackers, all of the crackers. Priscilla. Those two just crack each other up and quiet hangs up. She's like, Jeff, I have to hang up with you

because you cost me money. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haven't, haven't they just peppering her with questions? Pickle, pickle peppering her with questions. Call back. She's like, who gets the hell amoney? You're paying him? Who gets the dogs? You say he's splitting the house? Do you get brought to your shoes? Or do you get to keep some of your shoes? Tell me what's going on?

Where I'm from, meddling is worth it stealing. And then they just start cracking up. So then we go over to guys nine. Football bowling. Okay, morally opposed to this. What is this ridiculous sport they're trying to make happen? This is the fetch of sports. Football bowling.

Football bowling is not a thing. And this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Throwing a football at bowling pins, I'm sorry. It's annoying. Don't do it. It's very like gay guys sitting around the table going, what would straight guys like to do next? Let's mix two straight guy things. You know, and then they just come up with this. It's like guys, this is a reach, okay? Yeah, clearly it was like an idea that happened in someone's backyard and then it was,

it's probably like fun, it's probably fun, but I don't think I would pay money to go throw a football at pins. I just don't like that. I would want to go bowling. Did you notice that Cecil at least showed up with a new title? Cecil shows up to go football bowling and it says Cecil. Simone's husband slash real estate agent. I was like wow you're moving up there in the the whole kairan. Wow, that's amazing. Good for him. Good for him. So the guys arrive and they're all terrible, of course. As I think anyone would be. Yeah, no one could hit that.

I mean, I think it's a sport that's not really meant for success anyway, but yeah, they are really terrible. Also, Daddy showed up and he was not wearing scrubs, so this is like pretty big. There's a few times this season he's not wearing scrubs. I know it makes me worried that he's cheating. Yeah. No, it's like when a man starts working out suddenly and gets a sports car and you're like, oh my god, he's totally cheating on me. Daddy just puts on normal clothes. Yeah. He puts on a belt. So yeah, and by the way, and Buffy's husband was there David. So he was there trying to yuck it up Although he like he clearly was like this. He was like so cool. Yeah

Trying to fit in play cool David play cool. I'm like yeah the handlebar mustache. That's really all I kept seeing and see some points out that he's a psychiatrist So he talks like this at all times. Yeah. And he's like, Buffy and I feel terrible about what happened with Eugene. All right, I'm sorry, but we just have a very diverse group of friends. And then they start talking about their wives and Contessa

and Scots. Oh, it's really hard being, yeah, Scots. You know, it's really hard being a single man during the week. Yeah. Like you're, you are a doctor higher and Annie. What happened that lady that crazy nanny that you guys had? Can't you get her back?

What was her name? Oh, her first contest is first. Wait, it wasn't that her. She called her her mother, but it wasn't her mother. But by the end of the season, she stormed off. Yes, they're not for it. They stopped talking. Oh, yeah, I'm sad. God, that feels like 10 years ago.

I know. So Scott starts saying he's like, he's like, yeah, just like contest is just really, really gold driven. And then Daddy's like, well, I guess all of our wives are gold driven to some degree. I don't know why I wrote that down. Just like Daddy making his like, his like, you know know earnest observations about life. And then they can serve their food. How are these all doctors and the husbands of doctors?

What the hell you guys? I mean, this looks like my dreams granted. It looked delicious. What was it? It's like when you go outside a hospital and there's like a bunch of nerves, nerves, nurses like chain smoking and people are like, how could you do that? They're like, it could you do that? They're like, it's the stress of dealing with you assholes.

Because it was just all, it's like fried, fried fried, fried pizza, fried potatoes, fried fried fried fried, and I just sat there dreaming, awaiting the call. Yes, drooling basically. Drilling and dreaming. Drilling and colluber. Yeah. So, so then of course, Aiden starts talking about that he was really mad about toys birthday party Because of the stripers and everything and then Curtis

Who has a whole mouth full of food by the way he eats like a muppet you know where they like you know when muppets eat and they basically like Or like when cookie monster eats a cookie, you know like it's just like crumbs fall out because obviously they don't have like a Sophomest soft guy it's they don't have like an actual digestive system So they just like munch on food and just all falls out. That was Curtis right now talking. He just all his food was falling out of his mouth. And he was like, you know, we should be angry at Ujjin because he knew what was happening.

I'm like, you cheated. You cheated on Jackie. That's it. You cheated. Yeah, you're done. You're done with us. You cheated. You just sit down, you're burned or you cheated.

You cheated. And Ujjin is're burger. You cheated. You cheated. And you cheated. Eugene is always so shit story like his wife. So he starts the shit story talking about the strippers. And he's like, yeah, well, I heard that it. Heavenly was picked up by one of the strippers and carried around. And Scott said that. Scott said that. Oh, he did. Yeah. Oh, I thought it was Eugene. Never mind. Yeah. Well either way

it doesn't matter because yeah they're all talking about the strippers now they can't believe it and and daddy had no idea by the way that any of this really happened because of course Heavenly didn't tell him. He's like I didn't know about any of this. So yeah so Scott says the stripper picked up Heavenly and Daddy's like I'm not excited about some dude picking up my wife, but we'll have a fun time when we do something like that. Also basically saying, okay, well, now we get a free pass to go hang out with strippers. I'm like, no, you guys already do that. You don't get a free pass.

Yeah. The women were the ones who got the free pass. And then he says, and we can paint them, but we don't need brushes because we have hands like, oh, daddy creeps. It's a creep because he talks like, you know, he's always talking like that. So it's just 100 times creepier when it comes from him. Yeah, I know. Also, enjoy getting murdered by heavenly. Have fun with that big talker.

So then the next day we, we now go over to Toya and Eugene, moving out of one big mansion to another and it's up there. She's on the second story with dress zipper bag things throwing them down to the first floor and she's going, sorry, shidell, sorry, dole jay. Oh, come on, Toya. They sorry, dress bod, sorry, baby. I know. I think that they expected their apology when you first bought the clothes. So, um, so the, so here's the thing. My blood was actually boiling because they were, Eugene was insisting that they moved, they moved themselves. And like, watching this was painful. It was painful. First of all, I thought Eugene was going to have a heart attack. Second of all, they started seven in the morning, and this is going on for hour after hour after hour and ingenence and listed as friends. I'm like, you are over

you're over 30 higher movers, higher mood like this is I'm sorry. Again, it's like you're a doctor higher movers. Okay, you're moving into McMansion. You can afford movers. It'll take it'll be faster and easier. It took them like six or seven hours, I think, to do all of this stuff that a group of movers could do in like two to three hours. It was, no, it took them 24 hours or something. Yeah, that's right. You just give her a shot. She gives herself to move this huge house with two kids on the husband. She gives herself like six hours while the kids are at school or whatever. kids in the house, and she gets herself like six hours while the kids are at school or whatever.

Yeah, it was crazy. And she just kept saying like she's just so mad that this isn't done. And she's getting annoyed with Eugene because he's like, oh, I move all the time. I've moved a million times to her. I know how to do this. And he starts packing one of those little dirt motorcycle bike things in the truck. And she's like, you can't pack it like that. It's gas. It's gonna spill everywhere. Come on you G. It's just like it's just one of those things like why is this the area that you guys are gonna skimp on? I think that's what bothered me. Like you are literally it's not like listen, not everyone can afford movers. So I would never say I've never act like this to someone who can who it would be a big

expense like if you're if they were downsizing they had to cut costs etc but you are literally moving into a house with like two closets and you are burdening your friends and you're making us watch you like get sweaty and almost die and like watching all this like unnecessary labor when you can hire people who just know how to do it quickly just do that. I think of just more mad about the fact that he dragged in his friends and then like Toya had to do all this work. Just get the movers. Well, you agree with Toya at least because Toya just sums it up like this. Whispered buddy differently. Well, I'm surprised that Toya was not able to like, like she's, Toya is able to get Eugene to fund a two-story closet, but can't get him to call the like the local movers. I don't understand. I don't know why it's making me so mad. I think it's because I just was like had like a base level of anger

because I was talking about the Ed Sheeran situation with my car. So I think that like it's now like everything is triggering for me. Ed Sheeran in moving. Things like, things like that. I're going to my day for you. It is a Monday. Wow. Wow. Wow. My brain is bleeding.

So then we go to Heavenly and Jackie. And they're going over to the Dildo place. Yeah, because Jackie is writing a chapter in her book, Queen V is the new V. And she has a chapter in her book about sex is the new V and she has a chapter in her book about sex toys, but she doesn't use sex toys herself. So she needs to go do research. Yeah.

So also, by the way, not lending a lot of credibility to this book, but anyway. And Heavenly is saying, oh, well, you know, I didn't tell daddy about the strippers. Whatever. Why would I, and Jackie's like, oh shit, this is gonna get back to you. You're gonna be in trouble. Yes, it will. So, meanwhile, at Ujín's new house, I don't know, I first thought it was the same day.

I just assumed, okay, they packed, and then it was the next day, but then they packed, and then I was like that evening. But no, it was, as you mentioned, it was like the whole next day, and there were still stuff had been on on stuff had been taken out of the truck But but it sound like Eugene had to go do a second batch of moving which I was like I cannot believe you have dragged this into a two-day process This is absurd, but So Toya shows up and she's mad that nothing in the house has been unpacked yet

It's just all still boxes and everything's jumbled around had that nothing in the house has been unpacked yet. It's just all still boxes and everything's jumbled around. Yeah, but you know, Eugene did try to make it up with her with a sign on the lawn that says private residents. In cursive as opposed to a public one. Like, oh, I thought this was the account of launch. Oh, I know. I thought, what does everyone have this sign on their lawn?

I've never seen that private residence. Oh good. I was so confused with that house. I was like, is this a restaurant? Oh, it's a private residence. Never mind. So, yeah, she's really mad. And she's being a brat. Meanwhile, he's working his butt off trying to get this all done,

you know? And she's like, but stuff hasn't been washed. Nothing's been done. I want my sons to remember what home is How could my this has got to traumatize my children? Yeah, moving into a fucking mansion with a pool I'm really feeling for your children right now. Toria. I'm sure all of America is sobbing right now Yeah, also they've moved like five times in the past three years. So they're used to this stuff and also and also this if you think This is gonna be your forever home

You're sad to mistake and because once again, let me reference the five moves that you guys have had for the past For years it feels like yeah, the the editors did that for us. Yeah Yeah, so everybody's gonna be so traumatized But you're the way you're having it your sons are gonna never know what moving is, you know It's like they just show up. Wow, I have a new house and everything's done. Yeah, they have to know, they have to know the pain of moving. So that way, when they're older, they will be like, you know what, we're not going to be like, dad, we're breaking, we're breaking the chain, we're hiring movers.

Yeah. And then you're jeans like, it's called Glass Half Full Toya. Okay. I mean, come on, look at all this. Look at this gorgeous mansion we We're moving into look at all this patio furniture. I mean, you designed all of this yourself. And we see the patio furniture. She got, which is like this big huge straw wicker like day bed type thing. And she's like, I've a designer. Yeah, he knows how to win or over. So what you're telling me is that you unpacked a half full glass and nothing else So the kids come home and of course they're not traumatized at all. They're fully clothed and jumped into the pool immediately Pretty much I mean it was basically like the opening of talkchails, you know, Scrooge McDowell just diving into all his money. Yeah, so then we go to have Emily and Jackie at the Dildo shop. Yeah.

And they talk to Angela and she's like, I'm so glad we're having this conversation. We need so much more education and stuff. And then they get to try out the sex toys. And Heavenly's just like rubbing them up on herself and stretching her ankle behind her head as far as she can. She's totally into it. Yeah, I mean, because basically, Angela is a sex toy therapist, which was like, could either mean that she helps you

work with sex toys, or maybe she solves problems for sex toys, you know, yeah, it's like the it's like the cast of toy story, but they're all sex toys. I know? Yeah, it's like the it's like the cast of toy story but they're all sex toys. And they've all got problems. Sex toy story. So then you try being a literal sucker that's put on somebody's nose. Yeah.

She puts like literal sucker on, I don't know. And she goes, well, the nose is like the tors of the face. I was like, hmm. And then it's a literal or literal. Again, I don't know, but't take anything I say to, literally. So Heavenly is like, has- So then there's like this other thing that, this vibrator thing that looks like it's

used to maybe like, buff a car. And it's supposed to, you're just supposed to just put it right up on your clitoris and like, feel the vibrations. So of course Heavenly does that. And she goes, oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll protect you one of these for Daddy. Yeah, Heavenly like list a bunch of things she wants. She's like, just put it on her bill.

That'll be fine. I just love watching Heavenly with that glitter all stuck around her nose. She just sat there with her eyes glistening. Oh, it was like a very adorable recreation of Alien, like the first few scenes of alien, you know like Is that like a face sucker? It's just like a little clitoral sucker This is gonna pop out of my belly, but I won't die. I'll just have an orgasm

Please Lord. Don't tell daddy Don't tell daddy a way to another planet in the face. I got under my face and suck my nose clitoris So Jackie has decided that it's time to bring this group of friends together with the trip and I have only guess is Colorado for some reason. And we get rid of that come from. She said it was such confidence. Oh, we call it. Like what? No, Savannah. So they're going to heal and decided that they're not

gonna fly there or Jackie's decided that they're gonna take a bus there. So they have time to get really, really close. And they're having least like, a bus. Do you have an ex-estrategy for the bus? The door. So then, so we learn that that's basically gonna be like the early season trip.

Although this is episode five. So I mean, you know, these early season trips are starting to happen a little bit later. So we now go over to Contessa's house and it's the night time and they're putting Scott and Contessa, but the kids to sleep and Contessa's saying how heart-wrenching it is to be away from the kids and you know, putting the kids to bed is that stuff. The thing that she misses the most when she's away, yada, yada, yada. And then like contestant Scott retired to the balcony or the deck and they start talking and Scott, once again, starts talking about how he's been like annoyed by all this stuff,

you know, having to take care of the kids is like, it's not like I signed up for this. I'm like, Scott, you just need to relax. Yeah, I don't know how I feel about this. I feel like your spouse just being like, okay, I'm going to be gone five days a week is a lot, but I don't and then she's saying, well, you never support me. And he's like, of course I do. And she's like, well, you, you know, I don't remember you ever supporting me. And she's like, well, I'm not abandoning my family. You know, I've been doing all this since they were born. And I don't remember you telling me you're overwhelmed and take

a break, Contessa. And then we get a clip of him saying, go ahead, take time off work. You don't need to work full time. There's no reason you need to work all the time. And she didn't want to. So I don't know what I really feel about this. I do think that all children should have a turbine because that was pretty amazing. That was, you know, that was very amazing. You know, I think that like, it's really, I think she was basically saying like, listen, I was always doing double duty and, you know, you never were like, okay, like go take a break. So then finally I did take one and he did support her for that. But then, so I don't know, I still thought, I still think Scott is being a little unreasonable because, again,

they're doing well for each other. And I don't understand why there was no talk about adapting, like why not hire an anti. I mean, truly just hire an anti, like, because you are fortunate to be in a position where I think that they could do that. Well, maybe, but then school is really expensive and then paying for another apartment and paying for all that stuff. I know, but I'm just saying it just seems like why wasn't any of this not really considered, or it didn't seem like it was considered. But

ultimately, I thought where Scott had a really good point though, was that like, look, you quit. He's basically like, you know, you quit medicine because you were missing the kids growing up. And so you quit it and I supported it and then you came to be with the family and then like you kind of just like jumped into a master's program and like left the kids again. So like what's really going on? It's I guess that and so he is of course, I think he's probably thinking to himself like, you're going to do you're leaving home for like two years to do this master's program. And then you're come back and are you really going to do this?

Are you really going to go into public health? Are you going to be like, no, I want to be with the kids program. And then you're gonna come back and are you really gonna do this? Are you really gonna go into public health? Are you gonna be like, no, I want to be with the kids again. Like, what do you really want? And I thought that was a fair point. I thought he was, I thought he was saying, am I, is this, you know, the housewives thing where you come on a show and leave your husband? Like, what are you doing?

Because he said, are you going for something I don't get? And he just needs to really hear, like, no, of course, I love you, blah, blah, blah. But she's like, you win, you get your way. I withdrew from school. I quit. Fine. You get your way.

And he's like, geez. I just say quit. I'm just saying get stressful. And she's like, oh, now you're happy. I can just go clean something. Right. She should have probably, like, now that's the other thing. I was like, I thought that was, I don't like that. She actually withdrew from school. I feel like you've already put in basically a year or see it all the

way out. Like that actually really bothered me that she did that. And then on top of that, I think that's actually something that she should have discussed with her husband. And instead, she was like, Oh, fine, I withdrew you win. So it's almost like a passive aggressive quitting. And he was like, no, I'm not going to let you put that over my head. But at the same time, he did really bitch and moan a lot while she was just trying to do this program. So I don't know. They seem to be in a very unhealthy cycle at the moment. And they should go to therapy. Okay. Okay. Well, I say working, you know, having to be alone and take care of the kids on either one of their parts is reason enough to complain.

You should just be allowed to complain. Like, I don't know anybody raising children that doesn't have the right to complain. It's hard. No, you have the right to complain. And we're in the same time. But if you support your wife and she's going to do a program, then, and he's like, well, I didn't realize it was going to be so far away, like, that's kind of, like, there's clearly a massive communication situation

happening between the two. And they are not on the same page on like intentions and things like that. And they need to get that fixed. Yeah. So she's like, well, I didn't think that this degree would hurt our marriage. But you know, you always get your way. And I would like to get my way sometimes. And he's just like, wow.

Okay. Great. So that's a really fun ending to this episode. I know. Seriously. You always get your way and I would like to get my way sometimes and he's just like wow, okay great So that's a really fun ending to this episode. I know seriously You guys so this was a fun episode come see us in Atlanta this week. We're less than a week away It's also gonna be Atlanta pride so you know, let's let's get up and go to watch crap and dot com Particates and for the amazing new merchandise I can't wait to get myself some Shannon Bulldoor merch as well as the other stuff.

And I will be back tomorrow to discuss the season premiere below deck. Can't wait, can't wait. Bye everybody. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watch Your Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.

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