Watch What Crappens - Married2Med: Boiling Crabs

Episode Date: September 18, 2018

Crabs aren't the only things boiling at Heavenly's house. Quad faces the women for the first time all season, and it goes about as well as you'd expect (read: TERRIBLY). Plus, we imagine Bethenny on "$100,000 Pyramid. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who's crap is And crap crap And crap crap And crap is Watch what crap is Watch what crap is I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hey everyone, welcome to Watch a Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and talented and perfectly lovely Ronnie Karam from trashdogtv.com and also the Rose Bricks Bachelor podcast.

What's up Ronnie? How are you? Oh hello! Good, how's it going? Going so well, so excited to start off this week today on Monday. We have some very exciting news for us at least, which is that our Dallas show sold out over the weekend. That is amazing. This is gonna be our biggest show we've ever done. So I'm super, super excited about

that. Super stoked. If you did not get a ticket and you're like, you know, like I want to go, let us know. It's important to let us know because we might be able to do a second show. So if there's enough of a an outcry, or whatever, enough of a demand for us to do a second show in Dallas, just let us know. And we'll try to set that up.

And then of course next, we have two shows in New York. Our Friday Night Show is sold out, but our Thursday Night Show still has tickets available. So if you want to see us in New York, I'm telling you, Ronnie, these tickets are flying off like hotcakes. So New York is still available. Then we have in November, we have Seattle in December, we have Nashville, and in January, we have Charleston, which is also sold out. So we have, it's very cool.

Thank you guys for buying these tickets. It's amazing having all these sell-outs. It really means a lot to us. And it's just like the coolest thing ever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think there.

And then we also have Hey Betch shirts. If you go to SogoWatchcraftens. com to get tickets and shirts and all that fun stuff And I don't think we have anything else to really Chill right. I think that's basically it It man Um, of course we do have to say that we had a fabulous fabulous time in Denver last week And we had so so much fun. So thank you good people of Colorado for giving us such a warm welcome over there because it was fabulous.

Yeah, we sure did. And we'll be talking about that more in our bony baloney this week. So if you want to get those, get a patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. And now let's get on to Mary 2 medicine. Mary 2 medicine. So this week opens up,

we are a doctor. Contessa's house. Doctors, Contessa, oh I guess there's only one, Dr. Contessa. But so Scott has just come home from Toya's party. It was her birthday party slash party for Eugene for getting a promotion. And he's all pissed because Toya basically sort of like put Contessa on blast during her speech at the at the party Yeah, and I love when someone's mad in a new seas hat. Yeah So Contessa's you know just casual with season two wig Jill and inner bed Full face and makeup full face and like makeup. She just didn't there. Obviously this was shot like three weeks later,

right? Because Kentessa is not a great actress and she's like, oh yeah, I'm just here, you know, hands full of dad. What's going on with you? Yeah. So she tells us that her dad, she did go to the airport to pick up her dad and when he got to the Atlanta airport, he fell asleep in the airport for four hours. So this is weird timing because I thought his flight was delayed. I'm not sure what the story was last week, but I thought it was his flight was delayed and then she had to go pick up the dad. But I guess he got there and he just fell asleep and she couldn't, I'm, who knows.

I think her story last week was muddled. So it was, they didn't really clarify it last week. So this week seemed like, okay, like I believed her. I believe that like he like fell asleep in the airport because she was like, where she didn't know where her dad was and there was a big to do, you know? Yeah. Uh, so yeah. So she tells us about that.

And I'm like, yay, dad story line. I'm so excited. We've got it this year on here We have it last year on here. We're gonna have it this year on Dallas No, it just basically made me think men in America have out we like pull it together. Yeah about that. Yeah Okay, guys. Yeah, let's let's pull it together. Let's not fall asleep in the airport But so basically her dad has crones and his complications and so you know all this stuff. So Scott starts telling Contessa about Toya's speech and how messy she was and everything. And Contessa is like, well I'm sorry.

I'm sorry we couldn't go to your party. Your party about getting your long cut today. All right. I'm sorry. We're just cracking up because Toya would totally have a party for like mulling her lawn. Yes, like I'm sorry. We're just cracking it because Toyota would totally have a party for like Moline her lawn. Yes, we would. I would like to celebrate the lawn bowed and I would like everybody to notice that we got sidewalks. I'd like to congratulate Eugene. Surprise, this is for you because you actually mowed part of the lawn and I had to celebrate Miracle Grow because it really is a miracle

made our lawn grow. And Contessa says, I ain't got time to celebrate your mediocrity. I'm like, what do you think we're tuning in for? Perfect. Perfect way. Yeah, it's a perfect way to describe a toy apartment. That is exactly right. Like we made our tactics. We just we filled the candy jaw. Pop it up.

What is the press? Surprise party. We just we filled the candy jaw So yeah, so contest as meditoya now and that's just gonna grow so then we go over to sister circle live Where well we're never seeing flashes of everyone doing things around town So first we see quad sister circle live and she and she's talking to this guy who has a beard. And she's like, let me take a look at you. Let me take a look. Oh, you can't. That's a guy who has to wear the blazer. You know, he can't have a blazer on without a...

Tudid and fruity, and I can't walk on the top. That's what? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Quad sees to be really good at that job, by the way. Yeah, she's... I'm kind of impressed. Oh, I believe that, I believe that. I believe that.

I mean, the thing with Quat, she- I feel like she's very telegenic and I bet she's really good on like a Gabb Vest talk show, but like, the thing that bothers me with Quat is that she's still the one who, like, then goes out to her restaurant, and is like, oh, the bottle- a glass of Prosecco, please.

And you're like, hmmm. Wow. Dude, the Prudeau Rudeence Rudy come on some ushela I Try daughter Prosecco and I have tried order Prosecco and I've learned It doesn't matter what comes because I've been earning so bad for just some sort of beverage of beverage. Man could you please fill out your comment card before you leave. How was the service hurt? How was your meal hurt? How do you expect me to not have a free refill? My love has not been refilled. I don't know whether to be mad at you on a trauma.

Oh, goodness. Sorry. Water. I'm like a silly little time to pour some water into a cup. Yeah. No, I'm going to sit in my pour some water into a cup. Yeah, no, I'm gonna sit at my coffee. Give me a sec. Okay, so then over Eugene and Joy is house.

Joy is fixing one of those little mini cards to get your kids, and of course their kid was riding like an asshole and hurt his head and had to get stitches. Right. And they're like, oh my God, you hurt your head. And I was like, because he was driving. He's five. He's four was thriving. He's five. He's four, yeah.

He's five years old. How about you get him some building blocks? Yeah, how about get a book? Okay, get that kid inside. It's called coloring, coloring book with colored pencils. That's what it's called. It's called crayons. Yes, crayons.

Crams. So, heavenly and Jackie are going to the paintball place. And Heavenly's like Can I just want to play paintball with you Jackie? It's like what's supposed to come in the Jackie? We're gonna bring a ball to the paintball Oh the paintball. You really think that it's a good time to bring quad to a shooting range. Pander a gun.

I'm willing to let Quad learn me up Jackie. How could we crack? Have a list and have a list trying to stir the pot. She's like, if you were Quad, I would have called you called you Jackie I mean wouldn't you have called you in the situation Jackie And Jackie's like well you never know until you walk into someone else's shoes, but yeah, I would have called me I mean why wouldn't you call me? I'm Jackie I would call someone who's been through it Let's not pretend you're suddenly out of the woods just because the season changed.

Okay. You were just on here last week sitting right next to your husband when he acted like all of that with some lie on a blog. Yeah. That said, I love my Jackie. I love Jackie. I never once avoided my friends when it was time to need my friends. And then when he's like, I see our social,

she's hanging with our friends, it's a sister's quiz. This is not hanging with us, Jackie. Yeah, by the way, Jackie, don't forget that last week, you said that if you didn't have to tell them about what was going on, you wouldn't have told them. So let's not forget that. Yeah, so quad tax and she, she texts just like she talks.

You could hear the text as it's a quad tax and she she text just like she talks you could hear the text as it's read she's like I Haven't meeting a must attend I Shall miss you much here the two thou art Texting the plan I am her Her it's a my eye cap Did not report to me that they'd be a conflict. I can't. I'm working with you, I can't. And I... I'm hurt. I'm hurt. I just want... Ehh... I want no conflicts of my schedule.

Give me an alert. Give me an alert, I can't. Am I wrong to be angry, Jackie? Am I wrong to be angry, Jackie? Daddy, you should listen to my time! Um, yeah, I would be pissed off, and I'll tell you why. Because, like, you know, I, in many ways, not to jump ahead, I 100% agree with what Contessa says later on, which is like, you know what, she's going through some shit you got a meter where she is. I totally get that.

But at the same time, don't do that on my time. Don't flake on me. Because she didn't even, she basically was like, hey, I got a meeting and can't make it love y'all. And that was it. It wasn't like, can we reschedule and like, how about later tonight or what? It was just, it was a blow off. And that would piss me off. It was also a working day. It was also a shooting day. But because this is also a shooting day, it's like, yeah, that's what I was saying. If I say shooting day, I think men is a work of work. And they could have done something else, you know, then I'll have to be stuck at this

fucking paintball place to have a shooting day with Quad. They could have, and they were getting, they were letting her off easy by having this like, let's confront Quad about her marriage and her ignoring everybody just me and Jackie on a Paintball place or at a paintball place where we know that she'll have time to just go have fun after you know Yeah, like they came for the chance to have a nice light fun scene and she blew it It was supposed to be like a starting over scene, right? Like this is gonna be on those therapy. She's gonna say all right These paintball

Representing your emotions and these targets are grigory and now have added. I was gonna be like an empowering moment where they were gonna shoot and shoot and shoot and at the end that they were gonna cry and hug. You know, that was what it was gonna be. It was not gonna be a judgy moment and quad couldn't be there for that. And so now Jackie and Heavenly are just sort of stuck along with this like weird duck dynasty dude who's just like meandering around them and I mean although

Heavenly had a great attitude because she's like You're Lord damn though to bitch dear Jackie. Yeah, I have a question I get just totally destroy her in paintball. Jackie takes squad's gun So she's like double bearling at it. She's like, pop pop pop. It's so good. Just like a casual Terminator. She's like dirty Jackie.

She's just all calm the whole time. Dirty Rambo. Just Rambo actually. So next up, Simone is taking Michael to learn how to drive. Which is another housewives trope. I really don't need me more of. If someone waxes their vagina, it's like, okay, this dad, the absentee father teaching your kid how to drive. And next up waxing your vagina. If one of you gets in one of those cryogenic tanks, I'm done. Okay.

That will be coming up next, I'm sure. At it gave us an opportunity opportunity to hear more of this like Like the royalty-free music. This was like some weird royalty-free Fetty-wop and it was like this guy trying to sound like Fetty-wop and he was like You're not really a Fetty-wop So please stop. So anyway, yeah, so there's Michael's getting driving lessons and Dr. Simone's like, we do not do driving lessons in the Maze we do them in the Jag and I was like, this is like, this isn't creating resentment for me right now. Yeah, I'm not kidding. So then they go out and have what do they have ice cream or something?

No, they go to her house. They drive from one house to the other. I thought they just drove around the block. I don't think they drove all the way because he's not, he's like only 15. Oh, I thought they went to the other. Well, you get your driver's permit. Well, all the houses look the same, to be honest. Yeah, yeah, you can't tell. So she's like, um, so your father and I are doing counseling. What do you think of this, Michael? And he's like, well, I just got really upset when you guys came to my game and you wouldn't even sit together. Like you can't even coexist. God. But don't you agree that that is your father's fault that is your father The picture by your father's television

Michael's just like why do you always ask me this stuff on camera? I just want to be a kid. Can I just go? Come on, please just have that car? Can I just play with her? So they're watch, thank you. We go over to contest this house and she's cooking. Like she's always boiling something. Always. She's a big boiler. Big can of boiling. Big boiler, like a huge, big old boiler. She wants to have a boiling room and not to have a boiler,

but to have to boil things. And this is a super sad scene because they're talking about what's going on with the dad and his crows disease. Does he have cancer? And then it sounds like he does have cancer, but he's gotten all these biopsies, but he's had so much surgery. There's too much scar tissue to get through the cancer.

And they're talking about this with the kids sitting there one of the kids starts crying, you know Yeah, and so they send the kids away and talk about how he's got to go get cancer treatment Yeah, it was sad because he basically was in denial because he like the his doctor was like your your PSA level Which I'm not even sure what that is It's like public service announcements. He's been seeing too many public service announcements No, but for real his PSA level is like is like a 300 which is super high and his doctor says I think you have cancer They just have to like verify and he's like well I'm not gonna get treatment until like an actual like

Confirmed answer from the biopsy and it was sort of heartbreaking because you know contestants got their doctors they know exactly what this means and they see that this like you know that's a hard place to be in but I also I really love when contestant and I like actually when all of the medical professionals on this show actually like don their medical hats as opposed to their reality store hats I find that to hats. I find that to be very, I find that to be exciting in a weird way. Like, oh wait, these are educated people who are like professionals who are like really smart.

And I like that. I was like, are we on the right channel? I know, like, you're a bravo. Bravo is supposed to be making you look like an idiot right now. But. Yeah, so then we go over to Mariah's house where her kid is like the opposite. It's like we go from like a doctor talk to the kids throwing her clothes on the ground.

Like, I don't want this shit anymore. Get it out! Wait, now you're doing a disservice to Lauren because she was, that's like Mariah talking. Lauren was very calm and she's like, hey mom, I've put all my clothes on the floor because they're two baby-ish and I was like, oh no Lauren, don't do that. No, everyone wears jumpsies, Lauren. No, she's like, no, mom. And basically, she's like, Mama Lucy would have gone mommy dearest if she saw clothes on the floor. Take that to the bank. So Lauren, poor Lauren, she's just, Lauren has this, like, she has like a very, like, like formalized formal formal view of where she is in life. And she's like, I just want to transition into an older state in my life.

And here to for, I am concluding this chapter on my awkward adolescence. And I am now beginning teenage years. Thank you very much for participating in this with me. And I am now moving on officially starting now. Yeah. I'm a child blossoming into an adult woman. And I get that you like this, but maybe I don't. Have you considered that mother?

Now, what is this about? I think she just told you. Yeah, she's like, I just wanted to turn him around. I was like, turn where? Are we doing a driving scene? Are we have to do a driving scene? Oh, no, that's for Simone's kid. Okay, good.

And she's like, mom, I have not been, I've never been to a restaurant without them asking if I'd like the child to mend you. And where I was like, I was the same way. I was, I was skinny and dorky in high school. Guys, we're not going on my door. But by the time I went to college and then they show, they show a picture of her graduating high school and then like hand down to her butt. Like her big butt and she's like that change. They busted down back to work all the time. Her eyes just like going off in her.

Yeah. Whereas just like listen, they used to always give me the kids' menu and guess what? I still get it. I don't know why. Is it just because I'm just like amazingly immature? I don't understand. Yeah, it might be because I'm tossing my macaroni and cheese at people's faces during dinner. That's what the whole fight at SDK was between Quad and Mariah. Who could have children's menu? Quad. Mariah. I will not allow you to order that mac and cheese. I want that mac and cheese for myself.

So she's like, look, you don't know what it was like. I had friends who were age who were pregnant. Okay, now do you know what birth control pills are? It's like, mom, Jesus, I'm not saying I want to fuck the football team. I'm saying I want like a brown shirt. For credit, for credit. I'm like for credit.

I just want to buy something from J. Crew, actually. Yeah. So where I was like, can weurch. Like I just want to buy something from J. Crew, actually. Yeah. Some where I was like, um, can we do a mother-daughter contract? You won't date till senior? Do you receive your books of a boy? Books of a boy? Books of a boy? Books of a boy?

Lauren's like, okay, she's like, say, okay, say yes. She's like, yes. No, say yes. And the one's like, yes. Yes. Now I think that now would be like a really good time to go to commercial because like Rob is so good at commercials and like he could do it in like seven minutes or less. It's like amazing!

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And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Um, so now we go back to, we go over to Ujin and Toya and I was like, are you kidding me? Are they looking at another house?

Yeah, every single season. They, these two are like, I mean, just stay one place and just save some money. And so, but of course, no, they've got like, Christy knows best as their realtor. He's the worst season, like some tan plaid thing. And you know he's going to be terrible because he opens with, we picked this day just for you. Ain't it beautiful? It's like my gay pop. It's like gay pop-off. Okay. God knows.

He is about to go run a pageant somewhere. So yeah, they're looking around this new house. He's like, well, you know what they say? Because they're walking through and Ujina's like, you know, clearly Ujina's a sort of person where he feels like sometimes if you have to, like he doesn't really have anything to say, but he sort of feels like he should say something. He's like, oh, I like that the staircase is like in the foyer or something Like something like so room because it's usually in the entrance. Yeah, so he has this like

He's like, oh, that's cool and they're just like well, you know what they say if with the feng shui-ish You know like if there's a staircase that's facing the doorway, your mind just gonna go right out that door, huh? Oh, that makes so much sense, because we actually only have a staircase as a door. So then Eugene starts telling us his history. He's like, well, we've had some issues in the past with some financial mishaps and some really bad unfortunate things with real estate. And it's like a montage Toya's terrible choices. Also, I have to point out that our listener and friend,

Laurie Ann Comments, is always calling Toya, Toya Toya, the income destroyer, which I think is the funniest fucking thing. And she's been saying it since season one, and it's so true. And this is the Toya Toya, the income destroyer, montage. Yeah, she's like, I just invested in a skyscraper in Tuscaloosa what so it's like we paid back our debt to the RIS and had a

party we downsized and had a party and now we're finding a forever home for a party what is this the bachelor what are you dating forever homes forever in debt home that's what that's what he. It's a forever home, forever home in debt. And this place is ridiculous. They had two kitchen islands. Okay, this is getting to be a bit much. Now I love a kitchen island. And I actually recently read an article

that was very anti-Kitchen Island. There's an article that was like, we are too dependent on kitchen islands. Like, whatever happened to the days when there was no kitchen island, you just sat on a table. You know, like, it was like, it made actually a very strong case against kitchen islands, like whatever happened to the days when there was no kitchen island, you just sat on a table, you know, like it was like it made actually a very strong case against kitchen islands that I didn't totally agree with, but I made me start thinking that maybe we are going a little crazy about these islands, because I don't think we need

to kitchen islands in a kitchen, especially not Toya's kitchen. What are you reading? Someone posted it on Facebook, it was, it was someone posted on Facebook. It was, it was an established place. I'm not curious about. I'm not curious about. I'm not curious about. I've always wondered when these open concepts,

because this open concept thing has been pretty hardcore for about 15 years now. And you know it's going to flip the other way. As style always does. And then people are going to be like, we need to build more walls in this house. That's what we need. I think for real, we're going to have a moment where people

are going to be enjoying the feeling of going from one little room to another to another. It feels bigger. It feels like you have to walk through rooms to get to places. So I think those open concepts are going to, you know. I mean open concepts have been around for a long time also by the way. I mean you look at some of that those old like Roman homes, those were a lot of them are open concepts mainly because you know ventilation but still you know. Yeah yeah but now every single show is like I want an open concept and then basically all they do is knock down balls and everyone's like oh my god

I kitchen in the living room just what I've always needed So Toyota just walks up to everything he goes oh I love that island. I love islands fire place. I love fire place Elevator I love place in Elevator. I love Elevator. Can you put an island in the Elevator? Because that would be so cool. Oh, jeans. I've always wanted up forever home to have at least five bedroobs. A huge kitchen. Here's in her closet.

Definitely a pool, a sidewalk, a sidewalk that leads up to the pool. Here's in her sidewalk. One sidewalk for him, one for me. He's in her islands. He's in her front doors. Yeah, Toria is still listing off the shit she can't afford. So then it turns into a property brothers episode. Exactly. Because shocker! This is totally out of your budget. Yeah, it's $2.000 million dollars and their budget is 2 million and Toya is like

We are not gonna spend more than 2 million dollars. Why does we even show this to my old gym? He's like oh cuz you said you wanted some a scene where you looked financial response look like Eugene quiet We are not gonna have this I just wanted you to get the chance to say elevators a lot We are not gonna have this. I just wanted you to get the chance to say elevators a lot. Oh, I'm gonna have to go get you off. Alavada. Alavada. I wish they would have taken this to the real property brothers trope where, you know, they're like, you can't afford this, but we can get you a, for closure home,

that you could remodel to be just like the house of your dreams. I always said I wanted to fuck loads of home. No, to you forever home. Oh. Never mind. What I said to do is get a forever home, not a fuck loads of home. So she's like, let's talk. Here's the deal.

This is you trying to do too much for your family family and all you do is create an issue for the family I love I don't mind working more if you want all this stuff and she's like no, I want us for my husband to be Home in the home environment. It's a quad. What are you doing here? I've got lost on the way to the sister circle. Oh, dude, help. Is that a hurt? I love hurt.

Is that a hurt? I want to get a hurt. I want to get a rental car today. And I want to hurt. And I said, it is hurts. It hurts so bad. This house is on the street. I would like it to be on a quarter-sac sister circle! I don't want a traffic circle, I want a sister circle.

So she's like, well, let's take you read that. That's how nice this house is. Our agents are doing selfies by the pool. Sure enough, they was so weird. Yeah. You're fully taking selfies. Because it was, I didn't even understand what was going on. Because at first it seemed like Eugene was showing Toia how much what she wants to be worth. There was going to be a lesson for Toia. But then it turns into Toia, like Eugene being like, no, let's pick up extra shifts. So it was like Toya showing that she could be financially financially responsible. It was weird

I didn't really get what was happening. I felt like it was all fake, but I enjoyed it. Yeah, so them heavenly with a giant sausage It's nothing brought me greater joy. Yeah, and So she's doing a crab and a crab ball daddy! So she's doing a crab ball to have all the women over and Alora's something around out. And there's like a bag of crabs on the table and she's like daddy, daddy can you bring over those bag of crabs? She's just like, fine mother.

The bag has been soaking with the crabs. So it's just like the bottom of it just like rips apart and all the crabs just like fall out onto the patio. And these women are there freaking out and it was hilarious watching them deal with all these crabs. They're like they got tongues. They're trying to pick them up with tongues and everything. And Simone just walks and is like wow they're crabs on the floor. See so yeah. Wow the flags and the crabs crabs of the floor are we planning on eating dirty crabs I'm like they're not food. I'm the sound the crown Then haven't least trying to get a little crab and she's like I'm gonna call you moriah bitch

We do not eat crabs. They're on the floor You cannot have this there should be no more floors Just here. Are you going to the movies? Yes, mom. I love you spend my money I missed that somehow it was so funny. She's like sending her to the movies and then y'all I got her for spending money I think I was just staring at the crabs because crabs inherently amuse me crabs are just they truly are crabby They are so funny. They're like aren't like crabs and lizards are like the most hilarious things me because crab It's just like they just are like whoa. They're like they're just a little wouldn't you be someone's gonna eat you

I like that crab stick up for themselves. They're like want to dance bitch. I know I know but they but they look almost like they want a hug too. They're like needy and aggressive. They're needy aggressive Yeah, that's true actually because babies that sign language for babies to say more when they yeah Cuz they close their hands you know those crabs are like so misunderstood. It's like, all right, bitch, let's hug this out. They're like, no, we're gonna throw you in the bottom, boy, then what are you gonna die? No, I was trying to hug you. So we know Simone is here to yell at somebody

and that's pretty much her plan for the entire episode because she shows up wearing these giant platforms with like plastic things in the bottom to hold $100 bills. Yeah. And she's like, I decided tonight I would keep it 100 by wearing shoes with 100. Well, technically that means like, she's technically like, I like two or three hundred. Yeah. She's keeping it like 500. Yeah. She's, I guess it's not supposed to be cumulative score,

but the mathematician inside can't help but do it. What you should of did was put in two fifths and then would have had a hundred. Look at that old Dean. I could go mad. You're either in or you're out. Yeah, so it's from either in or you're out. Oh, project runway. Yeah, she's like you're either in or you're out two things by the way Tim gun and Heidi clue are not coming back to project runway when it comes back to Bravo Which is like bullshit like we've been waiting and you're gonna like go off to Amazon instead that's not fair Like why would you do that? That's not okay? Not okay. I'm very upset about that Second of all this has nothing to do with Heidi nor marriage medicine,

but I feel like now would be a nice little interlude. Did you know that Bethany Frankel was on a hundred thousand dollar pyramid last night? Yeah, I saw that, but I didn't watch it, did you? I didn't, but I just was already laughing. Like, I'm just imagining Bethany Frankel doing pyramid. Okay, okay, like, so this is like one of those like, I mean like, like, what do you need me to tell you? Like, do I have to even tell you like, it's just one of those things, like, so this is like one of those like I mean like like what do you need me to tell you like I do I have to even tell you Like it's just one of those things like use it like like I don't know like what what why do you even ask me this question? Like what we use you want to know what the word is why don't you just ask me what the word is? I'll tell you what the word is like what I have to make these all these like all things like like it's a It's crazy like I don't even understand this one pyramid like well

We like an Egypt like like like we don't America like why do I want a pyramid? I'm like seriously like come on Like seriously get a clue. Okay. Get a clue. You're like I'm asking you're like an Egypt, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like did. Which is weird. I guess that's not like a permanent gig. Maybe that's just like a rotating gig. Yeah, I don't think she was permanent last year. I think she was just on a few episodes. But did they, I feel like she would probably be back. Because I feel like that was probably a draw. And the fact that they had her on Pyramids is sort of like,

oh, you know, they like to use their ABC stars. So yeah, she's like, OK, this is something that's not fat. Then now, skinny, skinny, skinny, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that, okay. Now, it's not a boy. It's a girl. Ma'am, the answer was Goonies, actually. All right, okay, okay, all right.

This is something that's, it's sick. It's like, it's sick. It's like, it's sick. It's a, it's sick. It's like, it's sick. It's sick. A hospital patient. No, it's a skinny girl jeans. Like a, man. Man, you can't, you have to like work on it.

Okay, okay. All right, all right, it's not freezing. It's not warm, it's not warm, it's cold cuts. That's right. Skinny girl cold cuts. You just answered your own thing. Uh, okay, okay. This is something it's uh, it bashed me all season long. All season long, all season long.

All season, like literally all season long. Like all the time, like one text and like whales. No, no, it's Carol. It's Carol. Like I don't see it. Carol. Excuse me. Excuse me, Bethany. You have to let me guess at the question. Okay, I've got a clue for you. It's big. It's top up. Fancy it all. It's like that's all defensive getting news. Whoa, okay, I'm ready.

All right, here's the clue. Wow. All right, all right. All right, I'll choose this. Seriously, that's it. Wow, that's it. Seriously, what do I get? Okay, I got the answer.

You're never going to come out with a company because you have no talent to skills. Wow, Bethany. Wow. You know what, when you can buzz me, when you do something when you can you when you can buzz me when you do something that's successful Okay, then you can pass me All right, here's my clue. This is a fabulous singer who has her own cabaretia. Would you believe it? She has her own cabaretia She could be doing this till she's 80 like she did a little

Don't tell me not the latest in butter Don't tell me not the lager said in butter. Is that it? Yeah, every answer is just Giovanni. Oh, Durand. So back to Maritum Edison. So yeah, Simone chose up. She's clearly ready to yell. Nemeraya comes up next.

And then there's like this weird moment where like Heavenly or someone says, like hope you like crabs and Mariah goes, not from the bucket, and then Heavenly just shoots her a nasty look. I didn't get it. Yeah, Mariah is like, not in a bucket, but I love crabs.

I'm joking, I'm joking. And I think Heavenly just gave that face because she didn't know what it even meant, but she knew it was supposed to be rude. If that's a Mariah, Mariah and quad her perfect friends like that, they just walk around saying slams that make no sense. Yeah, exactly.

I have a crab, but I won't have it in a bucket. It's like what? You can't. You love crabs, so you love the disease crabs, or you love like crabby people. Like, I don't know what she's doing. So some of them. You can't have a crab like without a car that's an auto zone like what? so some moments like contest uh here you are we've missed you at the party please give me an

update yeah like is Simone just the teacher in school I feel like Simone is holding this that huge wooden rod with a bathroom key at the end And she's just gonna yell at anybody who comes in right now. Yeah, I think that I think that's fair I think that Simone is like ready to spring a pop quiz on everyone You know, I was like oh You know contest if a train was going 20 miles an hour down one track and an arrow plane passed overhead going 500 miles an hour how much are sour patch kids in a seven eleven. How much does Cecil not say he loves me.

So Contessa has not heard from Toya and then she tells all the women that her dad has prostate cancer and like The last thing she was gonna do was like have him come in on the plane and she could drop him off and just for some bullshit And they're all like yeah, no that makes sense and then Mariah I love this because this is one of those moments where Mariah almost seems to step outside of herself She goes, uh, by the way, when uh, to where he gets here, don't say it was some bullshit She's gonna lose it Which I thought was so funny because you think them right would normally be like yeah say it's bullshit say it's bullshit but even mariah's like don't say it's bullshit

I'm like love toa do toa yeah mariah says toa it's a loyal friend but I doubt she but she expects it in return and if someone's gonna explain to this contest that all she needed to say was I can't come like oh, okay, so you're the one who's like totally calm now and understands like rational thinking Conversation it wouldn't have heard if contest had said I can't come like it It's probably there is some truth to that. She could have just texted it It's like so simple, but that being said. I thought it was really nice that Scott still went, even though contestant. She's like a gesture. You know, it's a gesture. They're called ambassadors. Okay. Are we

going to go to war with every country that, you know, we don't send our act? Well, actually, they'd probably appreciate that some of them. But, you know, we have ambassadors for a reason. She sent her ambassador. She did. And in a newsy cap, you know, it was supposed to be like sexy doctors. Totally. Oh, so Toya comes in and Heavenly's like, Oh, I'm gonna get what a drink. And it's probably not that lovely right now. Dad, it's all right! You're not drinking right now!

Are you all drinking beer? And so, everyone's like, Oh, hi to it. And contested just sitting there scowling, you know? Yeah. And she's still mad that like, so she's getting, she's mad because no one called her to see if everything was like, say like, oh, we miss you, we miss you. Which, I'm trying to remember which housewife did that.

There was some housewife that just got, was like, why, we miss you, we miss you. Which, I'm trying to remember which housewife did that. There was some housewife that just got, was like, why didn't anyone call me? Why don't we say, hey, we miss you, we love you. Cause I was like, there's so many of them who do this, but who is the one who did it really? Who was like really aggressive about it? No, I don't know. My brain is mush, you know that.

Sorry. Someone will answer in the comments. Hey. Sorry. So, Mariah is, I love that these ladies are just ready to go to the world. And the woman just announced that her dad has cancer and Crohn's disease. So Mariah turns to contest and she just gives her that look, you know, with one eyebrow race and one eye like Popeye Mariah, and Popeye look. And she's like, so contest, what you you drinking and she's like

Jim's Arale pretty stressed pretty stressed she goes oh about your dad and she's like yeah but you know what thanks for all your phone calls and your texts and she's like I told your husband she goes oh yeah wow I really appreciated that too that was great thanks yeah she's very she, she's in it like a, she's feeling very insolent at the moment. The person I was thinking of was Vicki wanting the cast roles. Like, no one even brought me a cast role. That's what it was. Yeah. Yeah, I just think that whole cast should say because I, you know, wanted to cast your role. Yeah. So, Jackie is not going to be there just yet because she has to go, she's still in the hospital.

Jackie is not gonna be there just yet because she has to go she's still in the hospital And now they now the main event they start talking about quad and like why hasn't quad been hanging out She's too good for us. Hi, I'm a sister circle yada yada yada and contest is like you know like you guys are a judgey group Like I sort of get it you guys are judgey. I mean just look at my situation. It's like okay I sort of get it you guys are judgey. I mean just look at my situation. It's like okay You joined a judgey group now be here or get lost you are either in or you are out do not bore mean Every project run away trope Work make it work, make it work. I sent some ambiguity in your Sartorial skill. What about Andre? Where is our little lamb?

So contest is like, yeah, I mean, you could be Judgey or we could realize we're friends at and be with them in the moment. Okay, now Contessa, her heart is in the right place and I think her point about being nice to Quad because she's going through stuff and needs a little breathing room is valid. Absolutely. But Contessa's also like obviously going to side with Quad because she's over these women at the moment. Yeah, and also the truth is that Contessa hasn't been around Quad as much as these other women have.

And I do get the sense that as much as I love Quad, she is, I feel like, a handful. You know, she is overly dramatic about everything. She does sort of make a lot of things about her. And quad is as much as I love her, she can be full of like bullshit. Not saying that her situation with Greg is bullshit, I think that Greg is like a piece of shit, but she can be full of bullshit. And like, you know, we've seen that over the years. So they're kind of like, okay, like, you know what, like, like, suddenly you're like too good for us, you know like I understand the resentment I understand why they're annoyed you know you're you're getting blown off but at the same time these are some judgy bitches

So I also understand quad not wanting to hang out with them. So I guess I'm just saying This is a multifaceted show So quad finally gets there and having they go friendly gets there and having the ghost. Honey Bob! Hey! All of a sudden, having the after being like, if that quad doesn't show up, I'm going to be like, and then she's like,

hello! Hello! Did he say that you'd be coming through, hey, quad! And quads like, I heard you was having a crab boy! Hello to you! And Squeezie's each arm as she passes around the circle

I mean it Lee you're not my sister circle you're more my sister Tire On the tag of rounded round So Simone Mariah and Toyar just just totally cold to her. And like Simone's like, ha, I'm getting ready to yell at you. Yes. And she starts to write in. She's like, Ms. Quad, we haven't seen you for a while. Catch us up. And then we go to commercial.

Yeah. And when we come back, we get a re-edit of that scene. And Heavenly goes, it's good to see you. She says, it is good to be seen. It smells like catch us up. And she says, on what? Yeah. And I just knew this was going to be my favorite scene ever, because when Quad gets the article like that, what? Yeah, and I just knew this was gonna be my favorite scene ever because when quad gets the optical like that

She's like, oh no, what? Yeah, yeah, I think she's I think she's tattooed on lip liner, but not put on lipstick Hmm, is that what it looked like to you? No, not really, but I'm she just had one line around her lip, but then well so I'm I'm you just online around her lip, but then well Really sure what's happening so She's a sister circle around her lips. So Toya actually asks quad in a very sweet non-confrontational way be like you know like you know You haven't talked to us like how's it going she was like very I thought for Toya like Toya normally be like Well, you know, it was nice to be a five-stop dog ever though

But instead she was like, what happened? Which side? I kind of told you about the two islands I saw. I'm a kitchen the other day. It was really awesome. I'm from the middle of all gym. I'm having problems in my marriage right now. Piquely, they do.

Well, Quad immediately starts getting, she starts, well, Simone was the one who started, like, aggressively. But, she's like, well I reached out to all of you, which is probably bullshit. You know, like sending like an emoji of like, like a, like a bear face is not reaching out to all of them, you know. Yeah. And it's also really stupid to start a scene with quad like this. Yeah, well I think Simone, it's weird, pun intended, she does not have very good bedside matter sometimes. Like, the sensitivity that she reserves for her patients, she has reserved for quad. And that's also probably why she's annoyed.

She's like, I'm sick of having to handle quad with child gloves. You know, I have to handle it with child gloves and then she can't be bothered to text me back like that's annoying. So you know what I'm I take it back No child gloves for this scene Simone's pissed off, but the thing is You're not gonna get anywhere with quad if you just come in with a pissy attitude. It's over like Yeah, unless that's just what she wanted I think she's probably at the point now where she's like if you're not gonna shoot with us And you're gonna make no efforts then fucking leave then. Okay. Exactly.

She's just going to like throw her over the edge and then be like, by which she kind of does. So, uh, so Quad's Quad likes every start of you and it's never going to be good enough for you. Yeah. So now she's like, well, if it's nothing to be good enough for you, I don't know. So then Contessa's like, well, I never got a phone call and I didn't get a call about my dad. They're like, okay, Contessa. Well, she does that because Toya goes,

I didn't say that, now you're going to the extreme. I've been doing you five years now. So you know when she says, she stresses a word and then she smiles really big and rolls her eyes. Yeah. I love when she goes close. I've been though with you five years now. So I thought like a bowl call. And then contest is like, well, I didn't even ever get a call either. I don't even get a call

on my dad's sick. You know, my, my child almost choked on sushi last week. And so I was like, I don't call people when they talk about my back. And good as to goes, well, people don't roll with chicken, so I don't have to talk to you ever. I'm like, she said an eagle don't roll with chickens. So I thought she said people don't talk to chickens. She don't roll with chickens. Because eagles don't roll with chickens, so I don't got nothing to say ever. And Troy said, I don't know nothing about birds. And then, Jessica, I heard you were clucking like a hen at your party and then toy goes,

I'm like goddamn hawk, I fly down and vulture your ass. I'm like, well that makes you a vulture, actually. Like you literally used another bird in your bird metaphor and this bird metaphor has gotten so prolonged and I don't even know why we got onto birds in the first place. You weren't talking about birds. I don't know why Kitesa introduced the bird situation, but I appreciate it because I do I do think the one of the truest things that toy has ever said is I don't know about birds. I was I always called them things in the sky. Yeah, I would say is that a bird? Is that a play? Is it Superman? Is it my forever home?

wherever home. I don't know. Well, I literally want to know because I have no idea. So contest is like, well, you've got my phone number. And if you ever want to say something to me, say to my face time. And then someone's like, um, back to the original fight, which I have started. I, I wore shoes for this fight, not for a fight about birds. So quads like looks and moan, I don't want to have a problem with anyone at that table. And I have a lot on my plate. And she goes, Oh, you don't have a problem with anybody.

Your plate is full. Can another thing even fit on your plate? Why? I got some crab. I can put that clip plate right now. Laura made a for you. And what says this is why I took with so long to come around. The way Simone is acting, you think I took a first born late with a husband stolen life savings of five mile pecs is shooting. So Simone's like, I can't believe you even came tonight and then she says, like, you know, everyone is busy.

We all have problems in our marriage, but we make time and she's also right about that because it's not like Quads, the only one going through serious shit on this show. I mean, Jackie's got shit. Simone's got shit. You know, Quads, Quads is a little overdramatic. Yeah. And she's like, this little girl thinks she's better than me or you or you or you and I cannot do it. And so she storms off before Quad has a chance to. And Toy is like, well, that's your friend

and you basically, okay, we'll live it. And Quad, Quad's like, she was the one who said, whatever, I said, Tidley, we ain't code you. I said, I want another film drink, please, sir. Otherwise, I'm not going to let the sun rise on my cactus. I'm a raya who's done nothing but watch the bachelor repair. I think it's she just don't want to be vulnerable. Yeah. She don't want to put her walls down. Yeah. So, uh, so now Quatt is now talking to Heavenly and she's like, this is not a sisterhood. This is not, I don't see a circle. I don't see a sisterhood. I see a square and non-sister.

This is a square brother, a square brother's not a sister of circles. Yeah. And then Toria comes in and she's like, Toria, I did not get a scripture from you. Like, oh my god, it's one thing to need a text from your friend, but an actual scripture? Yeah, yeah, she, and so Toria's like, I don't know you will, you won't do it well in mallet and quagas. Ah! I'm not doing well! Oh no, I'm not having... I'm leaving! You're like, wow, quag.

So she brings her way, squealing and heavenly goes, BITCH HURT! BITCH HURT! That's as much as BITCH BELIEG I'm hurt. BITCH BELIEG, like oh a bitch got a cry So to now quad is like I better than nobody But I am a good person I am a good person like okay, let's come on now. Let's relax here Yeah, so now quad contest and heavenly

Wait, quad contest. Well contest. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz, Quad Contessa and let him have the call. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, cause Contessa is, of course, bringing, cause Quad's acting like she's gonna leave. So Contessa goes out there and she's like, you are a good person and don't, you let anyone ever try to tear you down as a woman. It's like, what?

Wait a second, let's not really what's happening here, okay? I'm sorry, no one's asked about your dad yet, but I don't think anybody was tearing her down as a second. That's not really what's happening here, okay? I'm sorry no one's asked about your dad yet, but I don't think anybody was tearing her down as a woman. And she's like, we're stoning this girl. Yeah, well, I mean, quad sat down and some of them was like, why haven't you been hanging out with us? And then quad was like, I reached out to you

and I guess I can't do everything and I'm gonna leave. So it's like, yeah, they were stoning her with her looks because they were so pissed at her. But you know, sometimes like, you know, if you ignore your friends, they're gonna get mad at you. Yeah, and quads like, well, it would be a conversation, but their minds were made up. And their husbands see, what if their husbands were cheating?

What if their husband wasn't a hotel? RING! RING! Yeah, and I love that there was like this random pivot because quads like, I've been hurt, I've seen things, I drove slow to not to think about all the fast tricks that were done on me and I need other schlue. Can I get to my last schlue? I need to get to my last schlue.

So then at the table, Simone's like, whose purse is that in Quad's seat? Is that Quad's purse? I'm right, I was like, oh good, I could take it. I'll take it. She's all excited. So yeah, so Mariah goes this purse, she walks up to give it to Quad,

because Quad is now looking for the eyelash glue. So she goes to give it to Quad. And she's like, is this your makeup bag? And Quad goes oh you could put it in there. I'm like oh That's not that's not gonna go over well because it wouldn't go over well with me too because it's like Um, I was comfortable and I just stood up to give you your bag as a favor to you like this is like Your bag that you would have left behind and I gave it to you. And you're gonna tell me, oh just put it over there, like I'm your servant. So of course, Mariah does react that way of course.

And Mariah is like, I can put it where girl gets your purse. I can't even be my star. Get your purse bitch. She left that shit on the table bitch. So Mariah goes to Quatch. She follows her into the garage, the best place to film the scene. And she's like, now come on. Next time I do that, don't be that way.

I came to hand you your purse and she's like, don't come at me with that bullshit, Mariah. You intentionally made me leave my purse at the table, moron! So, that's what it happens. It's like, these damn babies are out by themselves. I'm sorry, she's like, where is Jackie? When you're Jackie here, those babies can fall out themselves. And then the girls just start escalating and escalating as always. Quads like, oh sir, thank you. You did

not got damage. I just did got damage. I was being nice, got damage and then quad tries to walk away. So Moray slaps her on the back of her arm. Quads like, oh, Don't you dare put your hands on me So then finally like so finally like Maria just follows quad into a room and where I was like it's me It's me like we could talk about it. It's me and I was like no and she like Slams the door on the camera's and everything and then there's a commercial break and we see the slam it again It's like oh my god now. It's gonna go down and they open the door and it's like, they're just like calmly chatting inside. Just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, how I feel. And like, wait, what? It just calmed down so quickly. Yeah. San Quads losing it and she's putting on her eyelashes whole time,

which just really makes the scene, right? Right. That's paramount as making sure that the eyelashes fix. It's like, I hate these bitches, but I got to stick around until this eyelashes fix. So Toria comes in with this humongous plate of crab plays. It's so toya. I'm like, the non-stop here. And Quads like, listen, I can't do things right now that are sisterly. Yeah. And I'm at least like, don't do that. Don't do that, man. Don't do things right now that are sisterly. Yeah, and heavenly's like, don't do that, don't do that, no, heavenly's totally triggered.

Oh my God. Now heavenly was doing so well, but now she's exploded. I also wanna point out that before Toya came up, Mariah was like, it seemed like Mariah was talking calmly and clearly, and it looked like she was gonna make, she was gonna make some inroads with Quad, and then when Toya and Toya shows up

with her play the food, like her crabs, like dangling out of her mouth, I was like, oh well, well there goes that. What is that? What is that? What is that? Yeah, so now Heavenly is furious, that Quad basically said that they're not sisterly.

So she's like, I'm chasing you down the street And you're gonna come in here like this ain't no sister Like you want me to be a sister to you sisters are me They say bitchy this show up to pay by but you came here late try that with your sister Try that with your sister circle friends. See how that works out for you Which is so true if quad was showing up in our late Yes being an a hold everybody at that so that would not really work Mm-hmm exactly exactly

Heavenly's right so like it's I do feel conflicted because on I do feel like quad is going through some shit So why should she have to deal with people like toya and Mariah, you know, but at the same time it's like But you but you like now you're blowing them off like it's either you're inner you're out, you know And that's just what's not like you sound like Simone. Yeah, look at that at the end of the day. I'm Simone Well, I am I just think that they were too quick on the attack. I think everything they're saying is right, but it's like, why do you have to, what does it have to be so aggro like, yeah, you just have a talk, but then I understand their first great question.

Why give quad the upper hand? I mean, who knows also to be honest, they're, you know, they probably added out like, like 25 minutes of nice conversation, you know, this they're just gonna run into it so but I agree like There's a there's a way to to approach this this This issue it is it is a tricky issue. I think we've actually all been in this situation before with friends where it's like I said hey like why don't like you know like you have We've had situations where either we've been the friends or we've been the person who's torn between people.

It's like, if I'm going through shit and I'm starting to realize you're not a good friend to me because you're always just so nasty to me. Like, why should I still maintain this friendship just because like other people who were in the same situation did, like, why is that, why is it like, just because Jackie and Simone still hung around with this group when they went through shit, why do I have to?

Like, there's no rule Why do I have to? There's no rule that says I have to. If I feel like you guys are shitty friends and I met like five new people who are super awesome and I just feel more at home with them. Why should I not hang out with them? Why would I stay with you guys? But then I've also been on the side

where it's like, so you met new friends and you're going through shit and now you're just like, oh, we're just like nothing now like that's that's a noxious So it's not to me like I actually really like it. I feel like it's such a real situation and I don't even know which is really the right the wrong side of it. I just know that um Heavenly Heavenly sort of nailed it, which is that Jackie should have been here to fix it Jackie could have just been like well here is what I think he should have been here to fix it. Jack, you could have just been like, well here is what I think.

Curtis was lied about on a blog. Well, fun episode in general. I mean, except for all the sadness and depression and death. But I love this show, so this is fun time. This is good to see you. This is fun time. I was looking forward to watching it and writing notes, which is, you know, I haven't always felt that way about marriage medicine.

Well everybody, thanks so much for being here with us today. We will be back tomorrow with a little real housewives of Orange County. Yeah. And no, oh yeah. Oh yeah! That's right, I forgot what day it was. So go get tickets for our Thursday show in New York City, those are on sale at October 11th, and then go to get our tickets in Seattle, which is November, Nashville, and December,

and go get your hate badge. Sure, so go watch whatcraftens.com. That's also where you're applying links to those tickets. We sure love you guys. We'll talk to you next time. Yeah, talk to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at

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