Watch What Crappens - Married2Med: I'm in Miami, B*tch!

Episode Date: October 2, 2018

On this week's "Married To Medicine," Heavenly realizes that maybe the reason why she calls everyone "bitch" is because her mom called her "bitch" as a child. That's the perfect excuse to head to Miami with Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone for what will surely be a rousing adventure into childhood misery. Also, Toya saves money by demanding a two story closet, and Quad answers a phone. We recap it all and more on our latest episode. Check it out! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I've been to my problems I've been to my problems I've been to my problems I've been to my problems I've been to my problems I've been to my problems Hey everyone, welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me on this lovely Monday is my good friend, my work has been

the lovely and wonderful and truly hilarious Ronnie Caram who can also be found on the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast. What's up Ronnie? Hello! How's it going? Oh good, I love a Monday. Me too. Especially a Monday like this where we have fun stuff to announce. First and foremost, we are coming to New York next week. our second show on Next Friday is Sold Out, but we still have some tickets available for Thursday night. We'll be recapping Real Housewives of Dallas,

and Y'all should come. Even if you are gonna come solo, don't be afraid. We won't bite, you'll make friends. It'll be super, super fun. And then on Friday, for those of you coming to our Friday show, we are going to be recapping a classic episode of Rony Real Housewives of New York, how appropriate when in New York doing New York. And the episode that we have chosen is

truly one of the greatest of all time. It is last call Morocco that is season four episode 10. So if you want to bone up on that go watch that episode. It's the one where Kelly Benzmo and Alex McCord have their big fights you know like open your eyes, close your eyes, open your eyes, all that stuff. We are recapping it. It's gonna be amazing. We're gonna have so much fun with that. And then our other big piece of news is that, you know, here in LA, it's award season. Everyone's gearing up for their various Oscar campaigns, etc. And we will not sit on the sidelines. We are jumping into the award season fray because the 2019 crappies are coming, coming around the corner and we have officially have a date for them

January 5th at the Hollywood improv here in Los Angeles. Tickets go on sale for that this Friday at 9 a.m. Pacific so if you want to come see us get those tickets we move to a larger room but we still think those are gonna sell out because the first crappy sold out really quickly last year I guess it's really this year. We had tons of guests at a fun fun time and Tiffany had us was there I mean she didn't know she was at the crappies. She just happened to be there I mean she had a pretty good year last year anyway, but I think you see I think she talked it at the crappies guys Listen when we when we stepped when we were done with the crappies

and we went out to the bar, Tiffany Haddish was there. When we were done with our show in Montreal, just for last, we went out to the bar outside the show, Tiffany Haddish was there. I kind of think there's a pattern going on here, everyone. But anyway, it's gonna be super fun. The crappies is when we give out all sorts of awards to various accomplishments on Bravo over

the past year. So, it's super, super fun. It's a great fun fan event. And we're going to try to get a whole bunch of fun guests to come quote unquote presenters. So go to watch crappens.com for tickets to that. And of course, we have shows next month in Seattle and then the month after that in Nashville. It's a great time. We want you got a comma, okay?

I Wow Wow Beth Wow all these shows wow wow Oh God, you know, I'm trying to restore an iPhone people Oh, you just make it easier. Why does it have to, why does everything have to be so fucking difficult? Can't you just just restore? No, because you have to go through all these steps and then set up your your iCloud. I've already restored it. I have to find out the iMEI number because some fucking teenager on Craigslist wants to know if it's a lot. I don't know. Okay. Ronnie, life is hard. Life is's what I'm supposed to get.

Life is hard. You know, life is not supposed to be hard. I found. That's the whole point. Steve Jobs would be very upset about this. I know. He really would be. I agree.

There are wet eye tunes. I'm sick of this shit. It almost sounds like your phone needs to go to the doctor. Yeah. Dr. Heavenly. Woo! I need to make sure you're at for this locked area. Son needs to go to the doctor. Yeah. Dr. Heavenly. Wooo! Man! I need to make sure your iPhone is locked.

Daniel, while I'm away in Miami. Sister Cirqueu-quad. Doon, doon. My iPhone is locked. And honestly, I am 10 minutes away from unlocking it. And I don't know if I ever want to unlock that iPhone. You know, I'm not the biggest Mariah fan in the world. This is anyone who's ever listened to this for more than five minutes knows.

But I have to say, the song does work better with Mariah's name in it. Like it all comes together. You know, it doesn't sound like they're trying to stretch any names out to make things fit. Like it just fits better. Mariah. Do do. You did it guys, you did it. Now I can see why they never let Mariah go.

They're like, this opening just isn't making sense. We need another name that fits. I know. I'm still waiting for Carrie to make her come back on the show, because she was so ridiculous. She was one of the best parts of marriage medicine. And I think it's like devastating that we only get carried once a year in a fleeting cameo appearance where she barely even says a word.

Yeah, we haven't even gotten a solid donkey. My husband, Duncan, has been a doctor for the past 20 years and that's for the past 20 years I've been suffering from donkey disease. for the past 20 years I've been suffering from donkey disease. This is one thing you don't do as a doctor, which I've learned from donkey. As a doctor, doctor donkey in his tummy and many things about donkey and doctoring. Well, this episode is called Heavenly Homecoming and I've been watching the good place and I would love to see Heavenly just go to happen. You know, and just be questioned by Ted Danson. Like, where do you get off naming yourself Heavenly?

Like this is literally Heaven. And I've been watching Game of Thrones and I would like to see Heavenly storm the shores of Westeros with a fleet of like horse people and dragons. I would love to see the cutest girl in the world, Kristen Bell. I would love to see her cutest girl in the world, Kristen Bell. I would love to see her reaction to Heavenly. Yeah, I was like, and I'm the one being tested. Heavenly literally just let dead dancers throat with a broken glass, okay. I want to see Heavenly in the house of black and white. I'd be like, who are you?

I'm a Dr. Heavenly! Who are you? I'm a Dr. Heavenly! Who are you? I'm back to heavenly. Who are you? I'm back to heavenly. Who are you? I'm no one. Very good. I'm back to heavenly.

Got you. I'm from my house. A bitch bitch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Daddy walkers. They're just like the high the high they just come kind of like stumbling at you just Damon just be like hey baby boy So mean that's what they say whenever you can but ever you kill a never you kill a white Walker Why'd you have to be so mean? Yeah, why would you do that to me? So we get something better than having Daddy has a daddy walker in Game of Thrones.

We get heavenly coaching Alora and her new rap career. Oh God. Yes. Now, Heavenly, Laura's practicing her rap. Well, there's a big foam cut out from Kinkos of her baby face on the wall behind Heavenly. Yeah. You noticed that?

I did. I also thought it was funny because Alora does this whole rap. I didn't even write it down But it was like you can't be me because you want to be me because like I but you can't be me because I am me And I'm the only one so you can be a haters hate is want to hate and pretend but pretenders can't pretend and I'm hated like mommy Leave me alone. Yeah, what I got from that was Laura's being taunted at school like Laura's being bullied Because she says people trying to be a friend of me, but they end up offended me.

And I'm like, oh, first of all, you're your mother's child. And second of all, we've learned that those are just walls that heavenly pits up. Okay. Exactly. I just thought it was so funny that she had this, like, her music had this, like, tough persona. Like, I'm tough. You can't be friends with me.

You try to be me. I'm gonna be tough. Mommy!'t be friends with me. You try to be me. I'm gonna be tough. Mommy! No! Leave me alone. Stop! Get out of my room! Because Evan Lee is like, your floor is so clean! To be fair, it's probably also what Kanye West's life was like when he was 13 years old. I know. Laura was probably the one who came ran with dancing around as an peria bottle costume. I don't even understand that. Because he went on us to know this week. Dress Disapparia bottle. Oh, I know it's I didn't I was I know he I know he had been cut off from the internet.

No, I mean, I know he was wearing like a mega hat. I did not realize he was dressed as a peria bottle. I didn't watch that far into the episode yet. He was a peria bottle bottle. Cause I didn't watch that farmsy episode yet. He was a periae bottle? Yeah, spoiler alert. You know what, like, I was annoyed that SNL even had a mod. I think that Kanye West has been canceled and he canceled himself a few months ago and it really bothered me that everyone was in such an uproar about Kanye West and then

like three weeks later his album comes out and of course everyone buys it. I'm like, you know what, people, you got to with your money where your mouth is you can't support that and then now He's on SNL like how what sort of what are we saying, you know it bothered me and then everyone's shocked is wearing a Magahat well, yeah, you know what he was you put him on it. You put him on SNL people Maga and peria I'm not really sure what they're saying but lots of brands out lots of brands get out there right now Maga and peria equals like old white dudes. Yeah, and now beer. I mean, we've had quite a week in this country. And beer. I mean, in America, everybody. So speak how we have Kertessa to test. Contessa. Now this is a kind of parent you need to be in the current climate in America.

She's swinging her kids on the park in her season two wig. And she's like, guys, when you get to heaven, you're going to get to see everyone you ever knew. And her kids sobbing, sobbing while she's like pushing her on the swing. And her kids like, I don't want to die! I don't want to! I don't want to! It's like tough titties, kid. Also, how many people do those children know who have died? God, it's like such a sad scene. So, like, here we are having fun spending quality times.

We're all gonna die. Oh, man. Meanwhile, Ujjin wants to do a men's barbecue and he wants to invite Greg and Toya is like, oh, but what you shoulda did was maybe not do that because he'll squag and quad and everything. And he's like, what does that have to do with me? Which I'm like, I'll tell you what it has to do with you because like quad is like, you may be friends with Greg, which by the way, Ujjin, I like you. Why may be friends with Greg which by the way Eugene I like you why are you friends Greg but also toya and quad are like the main link in that relationship and you

got I think you got it or I don't like that I just you know I'm saying I think you got to like take a step back and on these shows they have a real problem doing that yeah they do and the guys are always like what he didn't cheat on me. Well, who cares? You're couple friends. Okay. You are friends as couples. He betrayed the couple. He's no longer allowed in the couple friends. Thank you. That's a much better way of saying it.

So get him out. And this is also not your show, Eugene. Yeah. This is a show of the women. It has nothing to, I mean, it has little to do with you. Yes. So you are not the main cast member. So just ride along, sir.

And Troy is like, well, I have a problem going forward with this scenario, because if her or Greg are going to be able to work this scenario out, I'm like, who taught Troy a scenario? Where did she hear the word? And how many times is she going to say it today? Yeah. She just thinks scenario is like a hero. It's like, oh, I love that movie with scenario with a cowboy. Siderio toss it. Cedario Dawson.

She has a fucking eye. I love when scenario does nothing with a sword and I was like, I see, I'm like, Zora real. I'm like, that's Zora. Oh, some Mariah and kid, Mariah and her kid go to see some own, Dr. Simone at the OBGYN. And Mariah's like, hi, I'm Mariah, I'm just here for a chat. And then, I don't know why Mariah cracks me, she's wearing Gucci to the doctor.

Yeah, it's a little excessive. Mariah, the ambassador to womanhood for her daughter. Now most, most mothers are, I imagine, but I also imagine, I mean, I don't know what it's like to teach your daughter about like, going to the gynecologist for the first time. I won't pretend to know. But is it really as awkward as like having a daughter sit in chair and then you get up on the thingy and be like, and these are stir-ups. You put your feet in this and it's like, whoa! She goes, no, you put your thing in these things. Yeah. That's right.

And then someone's like, oh my god, you showed her the stir-up. And she's like, I didn't know the official name. Stir-up. But this had official brand name of stir-up stir-ups. I would like to congratulate my family for out-occurring this family, because my sister thought she was bleeding to death and had no idea why, okay? She like hid for weeks, because she didn't know how to tell us that she was dying.

So there you go. I'm so, I'm, I'm sure she's so happy to hold that to everyone. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, So, um, so basically, Mariah's like, Tell Sonoma, like, oh, I thought maybe you can teach her about growing up, like, you know, womanly way, but not the meat and potatoes. That'll come later. I'm like, she's in high school. I think she knows about the meat and the potatoes and.

I don't. What's the meat and potatoes? I think that means like sex, S-E-X. All right. I just thought it was another, I don't know. I never know what Mariah's talking about. I really don't. She maybe she really was like, yeah, don't tell. I never know what Mariah is talking about. I really don't. She maybe she really was like, yeah, don't tell her about the meat and potatoes because she needs to be on a healthier diet. Yeah, she's still on chicken fingers and green beans. Okay. I'm not ready to switch over my cooking.

Yeah, she's like, I just learned spaghetti-os. Yeah, she actually said, you just need broccoli and spinach. That's what she said. I'm guessing she means like a hot dog in nets or like the penis in the balls. I guess I don't know. I'm like I said I had no, I had no education on this stuff. One of those great mysteries of marriage medicine. You know, there's some of the layers on this show, so some, some of it's room for interpretation. So Simone makes her get out and she's like the whole reason a young person comes to the OBGYN in the first place is you got shit to tell me you can't tell your mama and I'm

like oh this is gonna be a good conversation. Lauren's like I murdered someone. Whoa whoa. There are cameras here, Lauren, that was a bit. Wow, I feel like the biggest laugh I've gotten out of you and I like it. That is my goal, everyone. That is not true, you've been killing me lately. You know especially.

First, some people don't know this. We've been doing this show for a long time and a lot of people will sometimes we'll get someone who's like, you should be talking more about this or you should try to be doing this or you should, they always say sometimes what we should be doing. And honestly what people need to know is at the end of the day, all I really am trying to do is make Ronnie laugh. That's truly the only thing I'm trying to do with this podcast. Well, let's talk about it.

Well, let's see because I mean we're the only audience we have We're the only people to get a laugh from you know, I know sometimes I just laugh and sometimes I actually feel like my laugh Is it's just a trigger response now like sometimes you'll be like well, there's a pee pot You know Because you know if you don't I won't stop until you do I'll just be mind-alogging until I get something. I'm a samosico like that. We're our own laugh tracks. I like that. So Simone is like, now, do you have crushes? Now stay away from boys. They are nasty. Do you have a cell phone Lauren? Are you

in your friends texting pictures? You also want to stay away from that. Okay. Why don't you teach her what a vulva is okay? Because personally, I don't know. Well, they're things I want. Well, obviously those sending pictures back and forth. It's called picture phones. Okay, we've all got them. I mean, a vulva is obviously a very dependable vehicle that has a great safety rating. So but is obviously a very dependable vehicle that has a great safety rating. So basically, yeah, I think that I think what's assumed is during that like 15 minutes that pass on Mariahops sitting outside, that's when all the doctorly talk was, the real doctorly talk like this is where you're this is and this is where you're that is and like lady parts, lady parts, lady parts, which is why they didn't really show it because she's like this young girl and I sure she doesn't want like her

verse kind of cult got a logical exam to be on TV so anyway so that happened oh I was just picturing them playing you know back there they could have they could have been doing that too I mean I don't know I don't know what it's like on the OBGYN. It could be just playing you know, what do I know? Yeah, I don't know. I just we just put the no in you know, you know, no, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe they're playing sory sory. So now we go to Jackie's house where she is like puttering around her kitchen. She's wearing this big green shirt that says me Thanks for the reference point And the song is like easy to see the haters that will see you go in I'm not really sure I feel like more rye wrote that song because I don't know what the fuck it's talking about she probably did She probably did she like wrote it in the back of like a I don't even I don't even want to say a cocktail napkin because that's almost too fancy

Yeah, it's a piece of like a I don't even I don't even want to say a cocktail napkin because that's almost too fancy Yeah, it's a car. Oh, yeah, like a car wash paper towel. That like a car wash bathroom like a chipwitch wrapper Yeah, so Jackie is cooking out of one of those silver barbecue trays Mm-hmm that we all take to pick mix and stuff and Quatt arrives and Quatt is all positivity today, which is funny I think she goes for not talking to anybody to be like Who's a really cute movie? Oh, I see everything you got on, I'm doing a seven-pink in your green. And I was like, oh, now I see why Jackie is wearing a shirt that says me.

Because if she weren't wearing it, quad would like actually think it was her. She's like, oh, look at you, Miss Quad Quad! Like no, that's me, me, you. Hello, this is Lisa Rina. We have an ad coming up, so you better listen to it, baby. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong,

what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder e app. So Jackie's like, I cooked you dinner.

She's like, what you cook girl? She's Jackie says, you got your protein, your greens, and then quad says this. And I had to listen to this. Do you have it? I had to listen to this 10 times. Okay. Now it was just the beginning part. I was like, what? I was like what? Oh, there's that. How do I do that? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I wish I could find my quad the death of Dilsam sound clip because I when I change computers everything got moved I have a sound like I found a clip that says quad English. I wonder what that is. I think that's you. It's yours. Yeah Yeah, that's how to do anybody! Yeah, that's it. She'll the devil to laugh, baby. That was a very quiet thing about it.

Like, to this day, I have not been able to decipher that. She'll the devil to laugh, baby. Like, why is she talking about daffodils? That's a big... She'll the devil to laugh, baby. Oh, it's classic. Oh, so Jackie is like, now, how are you? And then Quad just takes a pause and she's like trying to work it up. She's like, oh, I'm driven out for tears.

Quads like, how Charlie, I'm not used to leaning on leaning on people I just imagine quad like actually not understanding how to like lean on someone She just like is this is this it no you're sitting down right now. Is this your crab walking? Is this a stand on your head right now? You're doing jumping jacks your head right now? Yeah. You're doing Jummi Jax. Am I leaning now? Hmm. So, yeah. And Jackie's like, it is not leaning on people when you allow me to hold hands.

When I couldn't walk last year, you let me hold your hand. She's like, imagine, I just opened my problems. Oh, no, the people. Now, I'm telling you about me, Jackie. And then her phone keeps ringing and Jackie's She's like, it's my husband. And she's like, well, he's calling you now if there was a total disconnect He wouldn't be calling you. I'm like now how many Burkin bags have you received at your office? I'm like just because Gregory is calling does not mean that there's an emotional connection. He's looking for fish sticks or something like. Hey where'd you put the fish sticks quad? Is this type of saucy mayonnaise that you got

this little thing? That is not a sausage made from mayonnaise. Gregor, you cannot spell mayonnaise without no spell backwards of course So the fun rings again and Jack is like he's trying to find you so she picks it up and she goes Gregory you want to say something you call I mean that's a pinching tick And a pinch tick She's talking like first of all the way she even answers that phone call she's like a reverse receptionist or something.

Hello, Gregory, would you like to say anything? He's on the phone. Is he, what you think he's just going to prank call you? And then he goes, you called? It's like, yes, that's. It's actually present tense. He is actually currently calling you as, and he gets her currently having a conversation on the phone.

Yeah. You called and he goes, I just wonder why you're not home tonight. She goes, I'm working this home. Is there something you want you called? And he's like, I want to know where my wife is. And she goes, I know, now you know. Click. And Josh, she goes, she goes, listen brother.

Now you know Watch you to know that I have be for Gregory What nothing but the best for his fish sticks What she preferred and like me Stinks What's she preferring like me? Ah, fiddle stinks! So Jackie just looks at her and she looks at Jackie and she goes, We don't have much conversation! And Jackie's like, that sounded like a conversation. You wanted to know where his fish sticks were.

Yeah. What is like? I mean, Jackie, I mean, you're grasping a straws here. This is a dead marriage. Okay, it's been dead for a while. Quad has, if this marriage had any life to it, Quad would have probably had a baby with him, but she doesn't want to have a baby and she keeps saying it's because she doesn't want to bring a baby into a relationship where she doesn't know where it's going, which

I think is totally valid. But I think ultimately it's because she's like, knows that there's no future with him, so she's not even gonna bother having him, she doesn't even wanna have a baby with him. I have this feeling that like, if you're probably married and the idea of a family has crossed your mind, you don't wanna be without, kids you probably are gonna try for a baby,

because I feel like that's what marriage for people do, you know? If they want to have a kid they usually have Let's fix it. They're called band-aid babies. Yeah. Yeah So anyway, so anyway, so um, Jackie's like that's a man looking for his wife and Krakow's Kregorinos 10 minutes from divorcing his ass 10 minutes Non 59

Non 58 Oh $159, $158. $157. And Jackie's like, I understand the humiliation and embarrassment. I'm like Jackie, that was a month ago. I like that Jackie is just pretending that this all happened a decade ago, you know, but now she's okay. So that's, you know, there's that, and there's that. I mean, what else does there to say, really? So next step, heavenly is talking to her son, who's basically turned into his father already.

He's just like, hey, blow up. You got some food. Look at him. And he's like, mm-hmm. Like, he's so his father, he just kind of like stumbles off. Yeah, he's just like, oh, I think that daddy, daddy, Jr. feels some kind of way about dating because he never brings a girl to me and I feel like if he really liked me, he would bring the girls to me and bring the meat, but you know, he needs to see, he's

so excited, I'll charge. He needs to stay away from those husbandy but the smart girls. I'm like, or maybe he's gay, I mean, that's possible too, you know my god this family will totally implore he will be yes, really yeah good luck with that Damon Jr Especially with the name like daddy Jr. Yikes He's like you need a woman like your mama. You don't need some pretty bitch. Wait a minute. That's an insult on me Even minute, that's minutes on me! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah! So David comes downstairs, like, boom, boom, boom, boom. That's how I imagine him walking down to the other cases. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And he sees David and Junior, he's like, hey, baby boy. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

He like narrates his footsteps. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, So he gives me a little hug, and then the in your like this is too awkward. There's emotions So he leaves and so now it's just Damon and heavenly hanging out and she's like hey daddy What should you do today at work? And he's like oh, I cleaned my office and thought that stuff's word out It's like oh wow this is As exciting as ever. Yeah, the riveting over here. And it heavenly tells him about the anger management doctor.

I got to find the root of my anger to make it better, baby. I never realized my mama never told me she'd love me growing up that big daddy. Hey, that was mean. Why are you being so mean? Well, say it's bad, I'll respond! He said Mariah was triggering me, daddy! I got a good on my hand, made a visit to PASED! I see what it did for you on Barbados!

And he's like, If there's something that will bring peace and take away moments of extreme anger, please do it immediately. You know, it's funny, because when we went to Barbados, I really felt so much closer to Rihanna and my life is better now When I find out what makes me angry the doctor my hypnotized me what you think about that daddy And he's like no, but if he hypnotizes you to be mad when Damon wears blue or something Which I can just imagine him like Lying up lying awake at night, being like, I

don't want to have to stop wearing blue, my scrubs are blue. That's all he thinks about. Like what if she makes me stop wearing scrubs everywhere we go? That's like his greatest fear in the world. That truly is, by the way. I don't want to have to buy dockers. So then we go over to Ujín and he's it's it's it's Bronite at Ujín's house and he's frying up a whole bunch of food on the grill and all the guys are showing up. Hey, what's going on? Oh, hey, Dan, what's going on? Cecil, what's going on?

Cecil, Cecil, Cecil, Cecil! You look like a child blister wearing a kids' forester everywhere you go. It's creepy, dude. Stop. You're freaking me out at this point. That business isn't even going. What are you publicizing? Do you know how many people are probably trying to download this app? It's not even there.

You just look like a creep. Please stop it. Yeah. Also, this really sums up the men on this show because Eugene says, this is obviously not in my diet, but Tori is not home and Ciso says, well, what she don't know won't hurt her. It's like, uh, she's soon.

I think actually everything that Tori doesn't know has hurt her. What's this? What's this? What's this owl? She's like holding a knife by the wrong side. Why do these gloves only have two freaks? Ow!

Can we drink this battery acid? Ow, my throat! I tried to drink a gospel ballad to it and I was choking. That's the magazine, Toya. Hey, you ever tried to eat that Martini stick that had the olives around? That hurts too. I'd like to order a muskidale. I'll have some chicken sushi, please. So the guys all arrive and they're like, dude, dude, look, it's daddy. And he's like like I still haven't gotten used to dudes calling me that

Welcome up the stairs and then Greg shows up his like pants are up to his nipples, you know, and he's like So they put out so so Eugene puts out the whole crop for spread Eugene knows how to do a barbecue We he barbecue is like every single season and he always turns out a good looking barbecue And this time he put out all those crawfish I was like, you know, so they're all in the crawfish They're chumming around cracking jokes and everything and they all settle in and then Curtis is someone asks Greg like how's it going? He's like, well, you know, it's it's just trying to try to whatever. Oh, no, I'm sorry

No, it they ask Curtis how's everything going with you Curtis and he's like well every day Just trying to make things are just getting better every day just trying to make my marriage better every day and Greg's like What's your secret? You know, and he's like, and he goes, yeah, he's like, it's a lot of work. Apparently, you have to ask them about themselves. It's a lot of paying attention to a lot of details about them. Oh, so you can't be self-involved. Wow, that's so strange in relationship.

Wow, what a step. And no one responds to that. They just look at him like he's crazy because he's also not eating carbs. He's having like salad. And they're like, he's like sucks for him, you know. And then we see the testimonial we're checking Curtis are talking to each other and to us. And Curtis is wearing a red plat and pink shirt with a red and pink polka dot tie. I mean, yeah,

it's a little bit sad listening to your wife. Exactly. This, this, the sign is all signs are pointing to he is not listening to his wife, because she never would have let that happen. Have he been listening? No, Suri, no Suri. And she looks exasperated as it is. She's like, I have been watching this man's car, and I don't know what I'm doing all

the work. And then she's so in love with style. And he says, if I was Greg, I would have lots of questions about this, that and the other. And she goes, now you see Curtis, girls are more creative about getting answers. And he goes, well, it could be that you're more insensitive because I know they were very insensitive to you when I was going through all of that stuff last year. Oh, she just gives the camera a look like I took back this idiot because he's basically saying, you know, I would feel very lonely if I were Greg like if you were Greg

I'm like you basically were Greg And he was like cuz he had the last thing he would want would be to be bombarded with questions, but you know, although That's what happens like you know you Did something wrong and that's the consequence people ask the questions. He sort of wants it. Like he's got another thing in common with Greg because he refuses to take responsibility the same way that Greg does because they're asking what's going on with him. And Greg's like, well, I've been to the point where I'm so frustrated that I've acted out and I've done stupid things as a result. But at the end of the day, I was in a spine.

It was the moment of escape. I'm like, Oh, it's not her problem. Yeah, it's not her problem. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. She asked you to take out the trash and you cheated because it was too stressful. How about this? How about you put your energy, put that energy into getting a better back splash in your kitchen. How about that? That's good. Shit stained, shit stained and tealed back splash. No wonder why she's so unhappy in your marriage. You've for sort of look at hideous tiles on her stove top while she's pretending to be a chef. So then the couples are all discussing it with each other.

And heavenly is like, well, go to a lesser woman, I just don't understand that. And daddy's like, you used to go in the Bible, they have they have 30 wives and she goes you want 30 wives And he says no You're more than enough You that's damn right otherwise I'm gonna make you stop wearing blue You win the Bible

And she says you guys make excuses for other men But it would be unacceptable for a woman to do it. And he goes, that's right. The men on this show. I want every woman on this show divorced at this point. I'm not really rooting for anybody, except maybe Toya. I will say this about Damon, though.

One thing I actually do appreciate with him is that he doesn't, he's not a hypocrite. He is like blatantly like, yeah, I believe the standards are different for me than for you, as opposed to pretending like they are when they really aren't. At least he's like upfront with his backwards views, you know? So I actually do appreciate that in a very strange way. And then what I don't appreciate is Greg, once again, not only being the victim, but he's taking another page out of the Peter Bailey book of of like I was the one trying to

make work all this time he's like yeah you're quiet and I we just have to get on the same page and I'm trying to but you know I just need faith that she wants really wants to desire me she needs to desire me that I'll know as if like oh this is all quiet like like he just he wants to be in this marriage And he really loves her, but like it's up to her, you know She's lost the desire in him like no like you're awful and you have driven you've run out of arguments One too many times and you're tiny little Volkswagen and it's not enough enough enough Yeah, you're mini Cooper also if that was the case do a push-up or two you know what I mean? So not that I'm judging, because I don't either.

But if that's your whole basis, then like, I don't know. Take a spin class. So Cecil's like, well, whatever, the guys are just basically all acting like their husband of the year. It kind of grosses me out. Okay, we've got Cecil who's sat there and used his wife's money without her knowing it for a business that oh, shocking shock of all shocks is total bullshit and their partner win under and all this. So it's I'm not really feeling a lot for the bin right now. Except disgust. And for some reason this made me laugh.

Eugene was saying how when he was a kid, he wanted his parents to break up because they fought so much. And he was like, yeah, when I was a kid, I was always like, why are they fussing? Why are they fussing? I don't know why. Hearing Eugene say, why are they fussing? That just made me laugh. There's something like so cute about him saying, why are they fussing? Well, Eugene's always the one who's always trying to tell everybody to just break up, isn't he? Didn't he tell that to Curtis too? Because now he's saying this to him. He's like, I'm not saying don't fight for it. I'm just saying, when is it time to say an F? I love you enough to let you go.

That's because not always your advice to just like cut and run. Because Eugene has like, he's like, Eugene's like the smartest of these guys. Let's be honest, okay? He like, Eugene is like a voice of reason on this show. Okay, God bless him. I'm all silent. I was waiting for evidence to be presented. There is just there's been wow. I think I think that I think the evidence is just the way he rolls his

eyes at anything Toyota does. Well, the money of the save money. So the save money we're going to spend 13 million on a house and then we'll be saving our money. Well, the next scene is them looking at their new build site, which is in Alpharetta, Georgia, which is outside of the city, so that they can get a lot more. It's like someone just explained this to them. They're like, you can get a place,

this size for this much money, if you go far away. It's like, yeah. Yeah, congrats. Welcome to the world, guys. Okay. And then Toya has made Eugene promise that they're gonna make it like yeah, yeah, congrats. Welcome to the world, guys. Okay. And then Toya has made Eugene promise that they're gonna make it look like she's the one

who wants to save money, which is just fucking hilarious. Okay. Exactly. You know it's a good way to save money? How about you get a Toyota Camry and sell that giant monstrosity of a vehicle that looked like it came out of Jurassic Park, okay? They like show up at this build site

and essentially like a giant like like auto not what do you what do you call it as like a demolition derby vehicle with like yeah a monster truck. Yeah, thank you. It's a monster truck. But um, yeah. I'm scared. I found a truck under the bed. Well, Jen, I'm like like you don't need you do not need that car in Atlanta. I'm sorry You do you do not need it and it probably costs a very pretty penny Yeah, I feel like of course to jean wants to drive dead of dirt That's where the house is being built for you. Okay. You gotta go down there idiot He's like I bought this car and I have not been able to drive in dirt once

Let me just have this moment. Let me just drive it down a mild incline Just for a second and she goes it's been a struggle to fight a forever home and the budget will promise Eugene the budget is two million dollars Eugene when I could go above that right-oage and he's like, okay I promise. I can't believe how hard it is to find a forever home. I thought it'd be easy because everywhere I go, I see forever stamps, so I thought there'd be forever homes around also. The ever-eve.

So, they meet this guy, Neil, who is building them somehow, a 9,000 square foot home with a pool and a two-story closet, because Toy is really trying to save money guys. Yeah, really trying to save money. Yeah, she's, because, because Toy needs a two-story closet, you know? The best would be if there was like no staircase in it. So just, that would be my favorite thing that you just have to like take a ladder

or like go out of the closet and climb up at staircase and go back in. Just be the greatest like weird prank that would make me happy. Also, like Neil is very cute, but I also kind of feel like he's a con artist. Like, why do I feel like they're about to get sold? Because they're always conned, that's why, and it seems so like her. And Toya also, I don't know if anybody caught this, but last year's storyline was

Eugene getting caught in the basement masturbating. And Toya was very jealous. So now she's sure that her first story is of her closet is in the basement. So now you're gonna have a masturbating on your shoes. It's like Toya doesn't think things out. So since she's gonna have a two-story closet, they have to find something to cut elsewhere

and Eugene's like, well, I am not gonna live in a house without a grill deck. She's like, and I will not live in a house without a two story closet. I'm like, not even Lisa Vanderpump has a two story closet, like you could live without a two story closet. Yeah, this is like the worst HTV show I've ever seen, and I'm also really sick of watching them look for houses It's like how many years do we need of this, okay? So then Neil this is another thing that con artist you let's celebrate and go to the club nearby. It's on me

You guys are having orange juices right orange juice. Okay, it's on me. Yeah, I'd love some water and some boiled shrimp anybody else on me. Yeah. I'd love some water and some boiled shrimp. Anybody else? So at the North House, Michael's on the computer, FaceTiming with Miles. And he's like, what up dog? Miles is like, what up, layboy? Like, oh, FaceTime, FaceTime playing. Yeah. Sound me and Ben call each other. But to say, struck a little too close to home. I love Miles and Michael. I think they are so great. And I just get so happy when there are good kids on Bravo, well-behaved, nice kids that have a whole future ahead of them, as opposed to really anyone in Orange County.

Um. Yeah. Yeah. So Simone comes home and stick hello my oh Hello, have you been studying hard? So then he's like he's stone on his on by the way on a futon in college Yeah, he totally like stoned his head. Yeah, he is like does not even realize he's on FaceTime He thinks he's like playing like Angry Birds or something

He's like that bird looks like Michael and there's a bird that looks at mom Yeah, why are you sleeping at our faces? Why are you catapulting a green pig at me? Miles oh, sorry see other way around so She I thought she was on to him because she goes he is loving his freedom I thought she was on to him because she goes, he is loving his freedom. Sometimes so much that he gets his priorities out of order. And I'm like, uh-oh, she's gonna call him on drug use.

And she's like, study or go to the movies. Going to the movies wins. Like, that's called weed. What if you were in film school? You're right, it is called weed. It's weed, it's weed. So, she still comes home and Michael's like, I'm gonna go play Fortnite with the squad as we do.

He's like, I do not want to be around my parents right now. So then they have the same scene. They have every single week for years and years. In years and years and years. In years and years. And more time in the North house and he's been laid off and then oh here's a shocker. Here's a shocker. Cecil tells us the kids force app. I thought we would be a lot further along in the company and as it turns out the

programmers company went under so huh so is that because your programmer was also your proof of concept was it was a kid who was long mowing your lawn wasn't it? We knew that this was gonna be a big fail and Yeah, yeah, our programmer his company went under because he had to start fourth grade, so He's like Dan middle School ruined my whole plan. I love Cecil, I really do, and I love Simone. But kids for Cecil, that was a big... I wouldn't even say it's a swing and a miss. It wasn't even a swing.

That was just like... That was like you did not even show up at home play. You accidentally walked into the stands. Like that was not... No, no, no, no. If a man took money out of my account and invested it without telling me in some stupid, in anything, really, but especially this, for a shampoo.

He would not, yeah, he would not even have the opportunity to shoot this scene. He would be dead. He would be dead under Tories Basement Cement, okay? I would be furious. I would actually be $25,000. I would be dead. He would be dead under Tories Basement Summit, okay? I would be furious. I would actually be $25,000. I would be... So he's not...

Yes. But he would be dead. And he's kind of dead to me on this show. Like, I don't even care. Simone has the privilege to do whatever she wants and I will never complain about her and how she treats him because he's earned every bit of it.

But the good news is that he's winning her back with small bottles of water. She's like, see so, I love your small bottles. I love your small bottles of water. And he's like, I hate small bottles. So that's their thing now. She's gonna get to keep tiny bottles. And that is called small wins.

Yeah, that's called recognizing small wins. And also it's called killing the earth more quickly than need be. Okay. She has like an orgasm every time she gets into an uber. Another small bottle of water for free for me. She's got two houses like she's got the biggest carbon footprint on as of anybody on Bravo. as of anybody on Bravo. Right now it's the moment. So now, Scott and Contessa, they go to the doctor's office, because Contessa wants to get

a mastectomy, preventative, prophylactic mastectomy. So they go see Dr. Jean Pettifer, who is a beautiful doctor who walks in. She looks like an anchor lady. I feel like she should be on the local CBS affiliate But she's also a doctor which I liked yeah, I feel like she's waiting in the wings to come on to the show because her name is her name has petty in it I'm it good point. Yeah, or she's just looking to take over the heartbreakers. Yeah This is my this is my secretary and the Okay, they just are talking about it's nothing to say about it's nothing. Yes, it's it's like it's very real

Your choice. I support your choice. Yes me too next So Heavenly is packing for her trip to Miami with Simone and Jackie. And she's like, so whether you're gonna do it, I'm gonna die. And he's like, uh, I think maybe I'll go out there one night. Like he's the little mermaid just stuck at the bottom of the ocean. Like, she's just literally the anchor holding him down at the bottom of the ocean. I just want to be part of your world. That just kid and you can go out. Like who wouldn't want to go out? You guys live in a you live in a shoebox bedroom with DVDs piled with the ceiling.

I don't think we've ever seen their bedroom. Have we? I think we have. Yeah. It means I didn't notice. I did not notice the DVDs though. Yeah, I need some work. Oh, yeah, that's too bad. They've got a big house They they've got such a big house. Why do they have DVDs stacked up? They need to fix it. It's weird. It's just an odd it's an odd moment

I had an odd moment. Yeah, so then we go to the airport Basically the girls traveled to Miami. So they get Miami where they're under the suppression that you need big gardening hats and scarves. They all look like they're trying to be a gone girl. Yeah, they they they look like they are joining witness protection. They're going two hours away to a major metropolitan area to find anonymity. And they you know, because they then they they take the flight et cetera. When they land they hop in this rental car. It's like a convertible. And they all put on these like scarves, they'll make them in the wee style.

But like, Dr. Jackie, she is like, she is so concerned with her hair. She is fully but bush-good-up. She is like tighter scar-fought. And then she's like holding onto it for your life and just make it tighter and tighter and tighter. Like, I thought she was gonna start seeing about a shuttle, you know, because she was,

she was just like, is this the little dentist I raised? Is this the little dentist I cared for? So they're driving, which I have to say, what a lovely shot of them driving. The production quality is really up on this show I was pretty impressed that this whole driving scene. It was a lovely. It's like a movie It was also terrifying because Heavenly talked to Dr. Jackie the way people in movies talked to people in the passenger side when they're driving

Which is that they don't look at the road you know because in movies They'll be driving and they will fully create their head to the right and talk and I don't actually I don't ever know Anyone who does that in real life and I never do that in real life. And Heavenly was driving along on this crowded ass highway and like fully cramming her head to the right to look at Babushka Jackie. And I'm like, girl, you are going to rear end someone right now. And Jackie's like, now this trip, we will be working on the inside of Heavenly.

And she's like, well, you've got to keep the hose in the back. And she's like, now, now, Samoad is not a hoe. Okay. She's like, now, I can't get you know, I don't mean things. Like if I call you a bitch, I don't mean a female dog. I mean, a nice person. And then we get a montage of Heavenly just calling everyone a bitch and being shocked when they're mad. Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't seem to learn does she? Yeah, and someone is like, this bitch has a lot of work to do on this trip. Let's get this bitch going. Yeah, so they check into the hotel and you know, it's the usual like, oh my god, it's a hotel scene where they look at the different rooms, they choose the rooms and there's like a little buffet they set up with the

sliders and wings and everything and Jackie has like a little plate and she's you know there's all this fried food so she's sort of delicately taking in fried food and being like oh there's nothing doesn't seem to be anything baked here and everything goes Jack and just eat the fuck we got okay I'm having these like I feel a sense of something not nervousness but Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. you grow up in the south side of Miami, you know the kids can be cruel. Also everywhere in the world. Yeah. It's not like kids are not any less cruel.

I would actually almost say they're more cruel. They're more cruel in some of the well off neighborhoods. Yes. Yeah, kids, I think kids are pretty much, you know, we've all been kids. You know, we've all been kids. Okay, we have no know it's like to be awful because we've all been them yeah honestly my only insight into what it's like to be like a middle schooler in Miami is basically from the movie Moonlight which was devastating so if that's what

high school is like or middle school is like in Miami then I get it because that just destroyed me. Mm hmm. Come back, man. I know, I'm sorry. I went to a movie. I went to a movie. I went to a movie place.

Did you ever see Moonlight? I forget. No, and that's the reason I will not ever watch it. I don't like it. I'm telling you, like, at a date. Situation with a chair. I'm just like, oh, no. I see it that I don't want to not like chairs.

I love chairs. It's like, it's actually a very satisfying chair moment, but it's also very sad chair. No, no, stop It's not a spoiler stop it right now. It's in the trailer. You see him carrying the chair. No I'm a bit havin land to moonlight These are three stages of me They look girl heavenly middle school heavenly and crown up heavenly And they all say bitch bitch So basically she's really excited put Jackie and Simone are already in lecture mode, especially Jackie Jackie is wearing

This polka dot satin poof thing. It's like picked out by Curtis. Yeah, it's kind of like my fair lady when they go to the askot. It's this weird thing and it makes noise every time she moves. So as she does her pointing her finger like political speech talking that she does, you just hear it go, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh, psh.

Just want to point out we've mentioned moonlight and my fair lady within 30 seconds of each other. I was podcasting in reference to marriage of medicine. Oh my God, the kid from moonlight as a lesbian little. We're just going through the M movies. You know, it's sort of like in Moonraker when James Bond had to give a talk to his new bond lady and be like, you know what?

You can't say bitch all the time. I'm in violent and the murder. It's kind of like in Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome when Tina Turner was like, bitch, get in the Thunderdome. Madden Bovary, you a bitch! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha what I want. Oh, she's saying, I think when these insecurities come out and you get out nasty, you know, with me and Simone, it doesn't bother us. But some of these other girls get very upset because you run from things and you use words as a weapon instead of using words to build up, build people up, and inspire them to have less calories and be less fat. Yeah, exactly.

And hard to look at. It's like, sit down, Josh Grumman. Grumman. You lift me up with your words of encouragement and fit me. Fit me. See, I can't even get fit in the right. Mm. So, and then, have a lady like, well, when I'm honest,

it's not a retaliation, it's just a truth. Just, yes, but when you come out with the B word it's a retaliation girl and she's like my mama call me dad where's gonna mean nothing my mom call me the B word and she's like your mama called you a bitch. I love having these casual disclosure of childhood traumas like she doesn't even realize it's like I'm the one I'm afraid of the dark maybe it's because my mama always kept me in a bag for a day's on end. Probably not. She was just being nice.

It's like, um, hello, childhood trauma alert. Hmm. I don't know why I love potatoes. I think it's because my mom would bear in my head underground. And when I was in trouble, and then she would pluck me out and butter me up. I wonder why I hate holes so much. Maybe it's because my mama used to be with the whole all the time.

It's like, uh, heavenly. I was just like, hmm. And they're all like, uh, they're like looking back and forth at each other. Like, it's clocks like, uh, hello. I think we just found, I think we found the trauma. Yeah. Hi, you've been traumatized. OK.

So then, Heavenly starts getting defensive, because Jackie really is on, like, some hill, like giving a speech right now. She won't shut up. So she just keeps going on and lecturing and lecturing. And Heavenly goes, now, Jackie, I want you to know, I'd rather you call people a bitch instead of the way you talk to them.

And Jackie's like, so we're doing a circle now Watch the views at the window she's just like at the window Now this I can be a part of She just slides slowly down the window I'm having these like you're just changing up on heaven today. And she's like, we are not ganging up on you. She's like, I'm not being defensive. And Jackie goes, you're twitching your neck.

And some of us like, stop with the neck twitch. Yeah. So, having these kind of like busted. So, they do like a pinky swear that heavenly won't be combative during this weekend, which could look with that But they they make a pinky swear and you know onwards and upwards We'll see what this investigation finds next week and then the episode We then find contest at at home in her kitchen and she just like

Contest is always sort of rummaging around or doing something here. She's sort of like microwaving leftovers or something and her phone rings and she takes out the phone and she puts it on speaker and she goes Hey, doc! I'm like, why are you yelling in your kitchen right now? And the doctor has an appointment open for tomorrow to get her double mastectomy, which is crazy Yeah, and that's how that ends. Yeah. Wow. Wait, wait, wait, wait, end on a fun note, guy. A mastectomy cliffhanger. Um, yeah, it's kind of crazy. It's like, I'm in. I mean, I'll take it. I'll take it.

I guess so weird. Uh, so that ends. Mary to medicine. Do not forget to go get tickets. The crappies go on sale this Friday. Also, we're going to be in New York next week. Thursday night, we are going to be doing Real Housewives of Dallas. And Friday night, we are doing Real Housewives of New York. Go to Morocco.

Then in November, we're going to be in Seattle. And in December, we're going to be in Nashville. And then January is going be the crappy awards. So go get your tickets. Also, this is the last chance to get your head back. Pea shirts over at crapmansmarch.com. To find links for tickets and merch and Patreon for our bonus episodes, which was really fun this week.

We talked a bunch of TV shows that were watching the terrible cop shows that had been released. You can just go to watchocraps.com for all those links. And we will talk to you tomorrow with some real housewives of Orange County. Woohoo! Bye everyone! Bye!

Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watchocraft and add free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.