Watch What Crappens - Married2Med: Scuttle Launch

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

Quad has a birthday party/book launch and celebrates her sister/friends in a very dramatic speech. Unfortunately, it didn't include her truly great friend Toya. BYE! This week's premium bonus was recorded on our most recent road trip. To hear it and all bonuses, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Shannon Bowldor" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Atlanta (early and late show), Chapel Hill, Richmond, Tampa, Ft Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago (early and late show), NYC, St Louis, Philadelphia, Denver, Seattle, Los Angeles (The Crappies), Detroit, Columbus, Austin (late show added!) and Houston! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! The Bay Area Betches!

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We just love to talk about on Yeo Bros. As you say, here I am. It's Roni Keram. I'm with Ben Mantleker, my little bestie and co-host. Hi, Ben. Hi, how are you? How are you, baby? You know, I am doing pretty well considering I just had

Basically three and a half days in Vegas. So I'm I'm standing and alive and breathing Yeah, good for you. I don't know that I would be Yeah, it's I mean, it's I'm barely I barely have a pulse. I've had three days of going to home goods And I'm like, okay, now I'm by kind of the same thing Wow, lots of gather signs. Okay, everybody, welcome to the show. I'm going to go through our live shows real quick because we're going to leave next week to start traveling around again.

Everybody succumbs to us. Here are the cities. We're going to Tampa, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago, two shows in Chicago. One has very low tickets left and one is sold out. So get those tickets. New York City, both are sold out. Sorry. St. Louis, Missouri, Philadelphia, then Philadelphia. Another, we added a late show.

So get tickets for that one, the other one sold. Denver, Seattle, the Golden Crappies in Los Angeles in January. Then Detroit, Michigan, Columbus, Ohio, to in Austin, Texas, early one is sold out. Houston, Texas, New Orleans, Kansas City, Omaha, and Salt Lake City, Utah. So go get your tickets. You can also still grab some Shannon Bulldoormer. Just Shannon Bedor, but the bull on her head. What do you think of that? And we've also got twerp, twerk, twerk and dork shirts. And when life gives you tacos, make taco salad shirts for Real Housewives of Dallas

to get over there and hello, let's get on with the show, man. Well, I also want to say for anyone who's coming to our shows next week in Florida, in Tampa and in Fort Lauderdale, we've decided that in Tampa, since it air, since Tampa is gonna be, I think it's the day after the Jersey season premiere, what better reason

than to do cover the New Jersey season premiere in Tampa? So we're gonna do Jersey in Tampa, and then the next day in Fort Lauderdale, we're gonna do Real Housewives of Dallas. So that's gonna be super, super fun. Yeah. And we should also mention, speaking of Jersey, that we're going to be recapping the Joe and Teresa Sit-down

with Andy Cohen on our bonus episode this week. Yes, that should come out tomorrow. We're going to do it a little early this week just so we can get that out, because it was hilarious. It was. It was so funny. And Ben is going to be going to Timeline, so we're going to have a couple of guests this week also. So come back and listen to the guests. We're gonna have Danny and Katie Kazzorela. Can you believe it? Danny Pelic Reno Katie Kazzorela? Oh my God. Super stars. And I'm gonna be doing some, you know, like true, like boots on the ground investigations of what Thailand is all about in honor of below deck. And I guess Dallas is going there for their trip this year, I think.

So, you know, I just wanna have the full Bravo experience. Yeah, you need to download our crap and drinker so you can walk around going, dong, dong. Actually speaking of full Bravo experiences, before we jump into marriage medicine, I do wanna talk about, I had two Bravo things happen when I was in Vegas.

These are small little stories. First, I was walking around drunkenly at the Bellagio and who do I see walking across the hallway with none other than Daniel from Southern Charm Savannah. So I'm at the school. Yeah. He was the one, he was like the Jewish guy whose dad got into like some sort of legal trouble.

And then Daniel had to abandon his dreams of doing something in Colorado to come back to Savannah to do to be like the office manager and order things from the Staples catalog. How dare you? He changed that entire company around. I watched two episodes of that last season. I know. So I was like drunk and he looked pretty drunk too. He was walking with some friends. So I was like, oh God looked pretty drunk too. He was walking with some friends.

So I was like, oh god, it's a Bravo person. I have to say something. I got a picture, put it on the gram, because it's like, you know, it's like everything. So I go up to him and I'm drunk. I'm like, excuse, I go Daniel. And he looks at me like, huh? I'm like, and then I go, you were on the real world.

I mean, at that point when I said real world, I don't know why I said real world, maybe it's because I was in Vegas. So like I had a real world thing in my mind. But at that point, he was like, oh God, it's a fucking drunk reality TV watch. I'm like, no, no, I'm in Southern charm, Savannah. And he's like, yeah, man, catch you around.

And he started to like walk away to be like, fuck this drunk guy, but also like, you didn't know what my show was. So then I was like, no, no, I was like, I have a Bravo podcast that's called Watch Your Crappiness. Watch Your Crappens. I love that, I love that podcast. Yeah, so we like stopped because he like recognized our podcast

because we were also in the out. Yeah, and we're also the only outlet in the history of anywhere that I did game any credit any coverage to Southern terms of Anna So that's our charity in life, okay, not the one of us volunteers anywhere, but we'll cover this we'll cover Southern terms of Anna Damn it. Yeah, we'll cover you know, you know shows that are trying to get it, you know, you know Establish themselves so so I was like yeah, let's do a photo. He's like, yeah, man We got to collaborate. I was like, yeah, let's do a photo. He's like, yeah, man. We got to collaborate I was like, yeah, sure. I was like, don't think I don't remember the attitude. You just gave me no, but he was he was really nice

And so I thought so that was made me very happy to see a bravo Liberty in Vegas regardless of the size of the bravo Liberty and then That's rude. Let's call that you got to meet that dude. Tell me about Vanderpromp Gardens. So then next was, I went to the Vanderpromp cocktail garden the next night, which is funny because it's very nickel-ing. There's like big bulbous lighting pictures. Oh my stone! So we get there and it's three of us.

I was there with my friends, Katie and Nicole. And so we're like, they don't have, like you want a high top or a low top, like, and I was like, do you have anything that has chairs with backs on them? And they're like, we only have stools. I was like, oh, no. I'm like, right, sake with that.

I know. So we, well, he said, if you wait 10 minutes, we can find,. I was like, oh, no. I'm crazy with that. I know. Well, he said, if you wait 10 minutes, we can find, like, I'm sure one of the tables with, you know, chairs will open up. So, like, the little startups on the stools and then we'll move to the chairs. They never did, but that's okay. We had it very nice time. First of all, there was a watcher crap ins listener there, so that was really awesome,

because I took a photo in the cocktail garden and then like a minute later, she tapped me on the shoulder. It was like, is this you and the jat are Instagram up? So that made me feel like a million bucks, which is I felt like Daniel from real I just said it there again. Daniel from Southern Charms Savannah. I felt like he's like love. I'm bitch. She was lovely. It's like a photo with her. She was lovely. It's like a photo with her. So I ordered a Pims Cup because I felt like being British and I wanted it without strawberries and there was like a moment of suspense because they weren't sure that they could change signature cocktails, but the good news is they were for Christ's sake. God, you're battered pub gardens, okay? We've gone to your mother, sir.

Yeah, exactly. You can be sent to the mother ship. You're supposed to think us for not making you crush up a bunch of strawberries and shit, okay? Yeah, exactly. I'm like, normally, I mean, I wasn't asked for substitute. I'm saying like put one less thing in it. I was making your life easier, but they were totally fine.

They were like, you know what, you can do it. We actually had a lovely server. She was really great and very attentive. She sort of looked like a Lannis Morissette, so I appreciated that. And then, so, and that Pimps Cup came in a fish tank. I mean, it's like Vegas, so I guess maybe that's how, that's how they rolled the Van Opem cocktail garden,

but this thing was like a bowl, and I got housed off of my Pim's Cup. And then I wanted to order some, I wanted to order some bubbly, and I'm telling this not really as a complaint, but I think I thought it was an oddity. And people should know this when they go there, that you can order like a glass of dump here in the own for $75 or a glass of my wet for $28 or like that's that or you have to have sparkling rosé like Lisa van der Poin for a day. So I thought that was strange that there was no like normal price, you know, per seco option. So everyone

should know that order the goat. I got the goat cheese balls Which were super tasty, but they came with this like mound of like shredded cabbage and I didn't understand damn that Yeah, cuz that's just white. I mean was it white? What was that white? It was purple? It was like a purple Now maybe it's for maybe it's for color darling It was. I want everything to be purple and pink and Van the bump goktale gardens. Yeah, but it was it was kind of like this weird thing where there was like this mound of cabbage that you're really not going to eat, right? As Tom Colecchio would say, it's a garnish that has no function, which is a big no-no for him. And so it's this mound of purple slaw, and then around the primators of it are about

five or six goat cheese balls that are the size of large marbles. They're not big goat cheese balls, little just little bite-sized things. So they were a little on the small side and sort of like strangely arranged on the plate. It was very inelegant and odd. It felt like you know, Kristen had had decided to plate it, you know? Seriously? Kristen was distracting Vegas Joe in the kitchen. Yeah, exactly. So they were tasty, but they were small and the mound of slaw was really strange. Then we also of course had to get the tuna tartar. I'm happy to report it was delicious. I think Ronnie, you and I have pretty much had every iteration of Vanderpump

tuna tartar at this point. This may have been my favorite one. It was just really, really good. Well that's good. It better be good for Vegas because there's a lot of restaurants there. Yeah. So that's my little mini review of the Vanderbump cocktail garden. So it was really good. I think that also means that now I can write off those drinks. So thank you having a podcast. Welcome to Vanderbump.

Let's reinvent the goat cheese bowl. I've got it. Let's make it tinier. I'm like, OK. All right, let's go with the little pebbles. A pebble of goat cheese. It was really good. It was so small.

I'm the slaw. I didn't understand the slaw. It should have been, because I think, actually, at Sir, you get three big ones, and they sit on some sort of puree or sauce or something, and it looks a little bit more artful. This was just a pile of slaw. Like, I don't understand it.

Well, Ken has to make his poopies. Get little. What do you call that when you eat ruffage? Get it at ruffage in their purple ruffage so you can always remember Lisa Vanderpump's Beach Rail. Anyway, it was a lovely time and obviously everyone should go if they're Vanderpump or Vanderpump rules fans. Yeah. Well, that sounds fun. I want to go there.

You'll have to take me again. Then you can be like, well, this is what to do and what not to do. Well, I was thinking at various times, I was like, I wish Ronnie were here. He'd be having so much fun. I would have been under the bar drunk talking to some DJ, talking to Vegas James. I just imagine that it's all people. It's like Bizarre World, you know, it's like you have Vegas, Gina. I'm sure there's someone who walks around going, well, pretty much every cocktail waitress is Gina's,

Gina's future. I mean, you just even though they were all at one point. It's a lot of circle, right? So she's like, circle, circle. Oh, she's just wandering the primators. She falls into the canals and the Venetian. Um, maybe she could be a gondolier. I'm on a corner, an alconer. Making out with the statue of the Caesars. You know, one thing I did remark on was that I would, you know, when you walk around, there are so many different types of branded slot machines.

It's kind of bizarre. And they have, they had one for some, but now I can't remember what it was. It was like a breaking bad slots or something like that. A show that's been off the air for many years. And then why is there- I watch what happens live when I think, I think they have Andy Cohen when, yeah, I'm pretty sure I saw one of those, but I never know what's real and what's not after watching so much Bravo. Like maybe that was in my head, but I'm pretty sure I've seen that. Yeah, I just, for me, I was like, why is there no real house

live slots? Why is there no band of pump rules? Like three pump tiniens and you hit the jackpot, or like, you get like a Taylor Armstrong and an Adrian Maloof and I don't know maybe like a Dana Wilkie and you get you know 50 credits. It should be something like that. Yeah, like I'm not about the pasta. You just earned minimum wage for the rest of your life. Yeah, a Christian, a Katie and a Stasi shows up and then like you you actually then have to pay more Like why am I why am I actually losing

The Katie slot machine That talk no falls out When you lose it just covers you in rams It just explodes fridge on your face like wait a second I don't like that payout Well speaking of getting a split exploded in covered by exploded. I don't know what I'm saying. Let's go to Quad's party over here. Mary Domenicin. Very big day on Mary Domenicin because Quad is having a birthday book launch

cooking with Quad party. I have worked so hard. Yeah Quad Quad was going after that tax write-off much like I am with my band of comp cocktail garden write-off. Yeah, she's naming a little higher. She's buying herself a Lexus at her own birthday party. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm like, I don't want to drink. Ben just wants to write up a drink.

And Quad is like writing off a $100,000 car. Her car could have fit into my PIMS cup. I swear to god. It was a punch bull And her car is probably a smaller than it looks Well, we start with another really targeted song from Trixi monical this week La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la remember when I thought you were going to become a doctor? Ha ha ha! Not your thing, really. I guess success just isn't your thing, Miles.

Do you know what it's like to divorce yourself from the dreams you have for your children? Ha ha ha! Happy Mother is dying inside day. And then we go over to Toya's house where I don't know if you caught it, but she has like this throw blanket and it's like a vista print, something another because it's like a print to canvas, photo to canvas, except it's like photo throw blanket. And it's like a collage. It's like a collage of like, it says, the hava's favel.

And then there's like a family portrait on there. But then there's also like Toyota on the red carpet and Toya at like back stage at watch what happens live, which was like a very meta breaking the fourth wall moment. And also a tacky moment, like not something you will see an install magazine. No one wants to cuddle with Toria's Vista print, you know, like that's just not a comforting thought. No, not at all. They're really working this, we're rich now, or we're really, really rich thing. Like we've got a huge house, because every scene they shoot now, they're like, what I can't even hear you come to this,. Where are am I alone now coming in here?

It's like, okay, you've got a big house. Congratulations. It's not as fabulous when you have to point out what a big house you got, you know? Yeah, exactly. So Toya's like in the pantry doing something and other, I don't know what, she's probably trying to figure out how shelves work.

And Eugene comes in and she's like, oh, Eugene, how's school? Oh, I can't believe I was a good class that I was school, you know? He's like, school is good. And then he goes like, he like steps away and then she's like, well, I was a dude, where are you going, Eugene?

I lost to Jeanne. He's like, I'm just wiping my hand, okay? Jesus Christ, it took me 20 minutes to walk from the driveway to here okay I'm exhausted this was like being a walka molly just to come to the fucking pantry toya so then we go to the Everglameris bonds and noble with Sarah your bonds and noble specialist welcoming quad she's like hi welcome to Barnes and Noble. You ready for the event? Quad's like, oh, not only is this quad busy, she's busy and thriving. So we were asking about her book earlier in the season because she had that couple's book, you know, that love through ribs or whatever her cookbook was. Well, that was when she was writing it, love through ribs.

She is busy, but not quite as busy as her title, which is cooking with Miss Quad, live, laugh, love, and eat. Which seems like it's two titles in one. She couldn't decide on either one, so she decided to just put them all in there. Quad can't be succinct even in a book title. You know, it's got to go on forever and ever and ever. Also, Toya should take note because that would be better for a blanket. Look, love, eat, food, quad, daytime, nightdive. I stand before you, bear, naked, living, laughing, loving, loving eating and preheating

gather ribs dumplings rock a lady so she's got a bunch of ladies like by the way I have a noise canceling headphones on so I can't hear myself, but I'm in this This chair that I got from a cosign at store because it looked like my old did these chair My grandfather's chair and it is I got it all when it's like Like what the hell sounds like a monster in here, so sorry people you're gonna have to deal with that for the next week They're used to it. Everyone lived through seven years of a shadow and

mature chair that I used to have. Ow! Ow! Ow! That's what that's the noise would make every time I lean back. Ow! It was like shadow and was like back there. Just, just, I'm just going to sit here and see if he notices me, but he won't. He's just going to lean that chair back and hit my- Ow! I've got a concussion from the chair! Ugh. So Quad is talking about all the stuff she's doing now. She's so busy. And her book is in color, baby.

I have books. I have been in Essence Eat, which is just a funny thing to me. I mean, I know, obviously, Essence magazine is huge. It's just funny Essence Eat. It's like a death eater from Harry Potter, you know, just eating your essence. We have to start calling your barefoot Quattessa. Quatt fit bare Tessa. Let's just make it as non-sensical as possible. Quatt fit Quattessa. Okay, I mean, Quadfoot Quad Tessa. Okay, I mean, Quadfoot Quad Tess Quad.

Yeah. So speaking of Contessa, so Contessa and Heavenly show up to this, with Buffy, they show up to this book signing and there's like a big line and they're like, but they're gonna be nice. They're like, we're gonna, we're gonna get in line like everyone else. We are not above everyone, but of course, you know that Quad is having an entire like sermon with every single person who comes up to we're like yes well you have to go to page two thirty six and have the oh or zone because the oh zone you can't spend so without a few letters from

oh so can you really just want that but you can't now let me tell you something about a devil egg. He hurt me, the devil. He don't mess all! It's like, okay, it's a devil egg, okay? So Manny's with some egg drugs. We do invite the devil into the cookbook, so we call them the angel eggs. And guess what they are at,

Shellic, because they stand before you. Naked. Bear. Here to tell you what transpired on the other side You are a vast of manipulator eggs To me to take out the trash So having leads like I don't even cook and I bought a ton of her books. I shouldn't have to wait So she's like move out the way so they finally even cook, and I'm about to turn to her book. I shouldn't have to wait. So, she's like, move out the way.

So, they finally get up there and go to the front to see Quad. And, Evan Lee is like, look at all these people. They came just for you. We're so proud of you. And Quad's like, ah! Ah! She's just like a door creaking very, very slow. Look at him.

Okay, congrats on your book, Sidie. Can we move this along? And Heavenly, of course, has the most curious way of praising quads accomplishments by framing them with her failures. She's like, well, no. Quad has had a few failures in her life. Big Shaburpep was a failure.

It was like flashback to Heavenly laughing in quads face. Her friendship with Mariah was a failure. Her marriage was a failure. You know, she wants to try to order something from postmates and didn't show up. That was a failure too. But you know what? This book should just be called Just Eat Bitch.

Just eat by yourself, because you don't need a man to eat. That's what they should just call it. She put another fit bitch, she put it on upside down and it said she walked backwards 97 steps. Poor quad. Failed at everything. I looked at him, she said quad. When she said her friendship with 97 steps. Poor Quad. Failed at everything. I looked at when she said Quad, when she said her friendship with Mariah was a failure.

We got a flashback to that fight where Quad is going, you are a master manipulator. And Mariah goes, I will not come up my terriot and throw tomatoes with your sweetheart. I'm the most classic fights on this show. Yeah, what a great line. It barely makes sense, but a great line nonetheless. We'll not come off my cherry-aunt. Cherry-aunt, ta. So, yeah, so I haven't leased basically just reminding us all that quad is

generally a failure in life, but now she has a cookbook and it seems to show some promise. I mean, I'm looking forward to seeing it at a reduced cost. So, so, and then Quad, she's also going to be having a birthday party, which is going to double as a book release party, basically, so she can write it all off. So, that's going to be the big event of the episode. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of WonderZ's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What deserves session with theseuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selina Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selina talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is team jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Then it's commercial. Yes, so then we see an old-time-in little rascals car coming down the road. And we know Curtis is coming down the road. Curtis is spending more of Jackie's money. You bid Marshmallow midlife crisis car. That's what I call it. Marshmallow midlife crisis. Yes, it's Marshmallow car.

This is a new one, right? No, I think it's the same one, but it still makes me just as angry. It makes me angry too, okay. That's not a high high school coach car. He's got like all these classic cars and then he complains about getting a fucking chandelier in the closet, okay? Yeah, yeah, exactly. I look at that car and I'm just like, nope, nope, And you cheated. Nope, Curtis, you just take quiet. You just take quiet and you just sit there and you not along when your wife who is taking bringing all the money

says what she wants to do with this house. Yes. So then we get to the designers. They're going to go see the designer chicks who are just pretending they haven't, yeah. Who are just pretending they have an accent so they can charge more money because I'm not buying this lady's accent at all.

I know. She was like, she was like, hello, how can you welcome to our offices? Welcome. Come sit here. We have some designs for you. Why come sit here right now? Here's my sister. She talks like this. Oh, I'm just just, I talk like this. Yeah, it's like they're in two different versions of my fair lady in really bad theaters, You know. Welcome to the clean room. We're in a deep, really. It's like that's not even in English, Agna. You're just clicking to stop.

You know what? We decided that we were going to extend the size of your room. Wouldn't that be lovely? Woo, did it be lovely? So they pull out this very rudimentary sketch of what they're going to do to the house, which might as well have been done in a light bright. I didn't know what the fuck they were doing with it. It was very just like drop. It's like so much rupiness and then they're like, no, that looks too much like a dick, but a square there. And then they put a square there were like they're going to pay 200 grand for this, those idiots. Right, we were playing around on the Etch-Sketch and we actually came up with the design that we really like. Oh, shoot. She should get.

All right, well, come back in two days. Yes, just a drawing of like a happy face. And Jackie's like, yes, that looks wonderful. So there is a closet in there with a chandelier and a bathtub with a remote controlled car unit, right? And they're like, yes, and Curtis is like, that is just too expensive. Wow. Yeah. Well, we actually have some ideas for the third car garage.

Hold on, we're just going to fire up logo here. And okay, turtle, go three steps forward. Okay, 90 degrees. Okay, six steps forward. This is going to take a while. Hold on. Two. Do you ever do logo when you're a kid in school?

No, but I'm cracking up pictures in my head. It's about what it sounds like. Don'ts gonna take a while. So the lady's like, well, the question is how much is the room got a course test for phase one. We're looking at 180 grand. Phase one, that is, phase one one and so Jackie's like um so

that's for everything just yep phase one that's what I said phase one all right phase two phase two is 80 to 100 that I'll pick a voice lady come on with your with your funny accents Mr. Bates I have some news for you phase is going to be 80 to 120 thousand dollars and you've been accused of murder. What? The Queen is coming! Oh, doubt it. Evans, what's it to you? I'm just trying to tell you the budget. What's it to you? Jack, you would walk into that nappy and be like,

I think we should remove this front door and put a balcony for no reason by the bathtub because I love balconies and bathtubs. So I command this house is a thousand years old, okay? What is a weekend, but it's far from downtown. What is a weekend, but it's far from downtown, so. So I actually got very mad during this scene because Curtis is like, but we have a budget and we have to stay in the budget. I'm like, you cheated and you drive that car. Sell the car.

Sell the car, you don't need it. Yeah, how about you sell your marshmallow car? But Jack, he does kind of cheat. She has, whenever she's, whenever she needs, whenever she wants to win a point, she's like, well, our marriage has been interrupted. We didn't get things like normal married couples do, babies and a house. Breast cancer robbed us of that. I'm like, okay, no one's going to argue with breast cancer. It's like, okay, get your face to Jesus. Well, but it's not only that.

It's that we see a flashback of basically Kurdish saying he doesn't even want to adopt a child. So that like it's not just that she couldn't give birth. He was totally unwilling to even allow her to be a mother or two and adopt a child. So that was kind of her way of saying, well, we didn't spend money on sending a kid to school. So we'll spend this money on my closet. Sell your car. You cheated Yeah, you cheated fucker. So she says that and he's like well

I'm happy you put that out there She's like, but and he's like I have no but like you after all I've been through on this show and all I've put you through You really think I'm gonna argue with breast cancer you win All right, so that's gonna be two phases for three hundred thousand dollars and oh, it looks like we have to go We where are you going it turns out they're just like in some persons insurance office because what sort of architects office? Was that also by the way? I don't know but strip malls are pretty good use in that town I'll tell you that much so the lady's. I don't know, but strip malls are put to good use in that town. I'll tell you that much. They really are.

So the lady's like, well, don't worry about it. I'm a whole jihad. To be the whole process master. And don't, you know what? Don't tell Curtis you're going to hold his hands. OK, that's the last thing we do in this meeting. She'll take her business right away from you. Yes, she will.

So now we go to Dr. Simone's house. And Simone's sort of telling Cecil about Savannah and Cecil. While they were in Savannah, Cecil apparently went on a golf trip to Birmingham, Alabama. And I guess he had fun. And it sounded like they were about to talk about something, but they didn't talk about anything. So the big thing here is that Miles is thinking about transferring schools because he obviously

started Howard and then is now at Georgia Tech, I think, and now is ready to like progress onward to another school. Yeah, I really don't care. I mean, I'm good for him and everything, whatever he's doing, but you say school to me and I just start zoning out. Like, board, I'm bored. Well, I mean, it was just, it was funny to me because essentially it's like, he's back in high school mode where they are waking him up and doing his laundry and stuff. But

now he like wants to go to another school. So they sit down and they're like, Hey, so where do you want to go to school? And he's like, Berkeley, I'm like, they're kind of like, um, yeah, you can't just like choose, you can't just be like, oh, hey, Berkeley, I've decided I'm gonna come to you now, even though I showed I was not capable of like, like, you know, like sticking through it and my parents still have to wake me up and tell me to do my homework.

And so they basically like, listen, you have to just, you know, you have to know that there's an importance in finishing school and like, being, you like being responsible. And I was like on their side until Simone said, and that means you have to go to bed on time. And I was like, that's not part of what college is. Colleges like staying up till four in the morning,

doing like probably about 40% to 50% of your homework. You're reading if you can. And then the night before your papers do, you outline it and write it and you stay up till eight in the morning and then you turn it in and you don't even know where you are. That's the college experience, Simone. Yeah, amen.

So there. Yeah, college sounds gross. I'm glad I skipped it. So then we go over to having the... Smile, what's having me? Smile, smile, smile. How many days you have? Daddy, daddy, but having the smile, smile, smile. I'm gonna see that, daddy, daddy, you just smile. Okay, what was the issue with the logo on her door?

This needs to be discussed. 1-800-Dentist Praise the Lord. I don't know. It was like, it was a non-vector logo. Like someone had made this logo in a low-res JPEG and she blew it up and slapped on her door. So it's all like pixily all around it and on top of that you can see that like it was not only was it JPEG

but like she went into someone went into Photoshop to like delete the surroundings to like isolate the logo part to make it like a PNG or like transparent in the background and then took that and blew it up. It was the sloppiest logo we may have ever seen on Bravo. Well, I don't know. I can just imagine her sitting there cutting out that logo with those little safety scissors, or kitchen counter just cutting it out. Yeah, go ahead and clean.

Go ahead and clean. Oh, God. By the way, I am curious. One of our listeners, when we went to Atlanta, she told us at the VIP thing that she was going to see Dr. Heavenly for a dentist appointment like two days from then. And I would like to know how that went.

So by all means, you know, post something on our Facebook group or like a tweet at us or something, because I really need to have an update on that. Yeah, I wanna know how that is. How she does. What would on that. Yeah, I want to know how that is. Yeah, what would she like? Yeah, we need to know. Happy. Yeah, so let us know.

Oh, and by the way, I guess the Facebook group is Walter Crappens live and loving it. So that's. So I'm saying so as she knows, in case she's not on the Facebook group. Yeah, so heaven, I'm with you. I was just scrolling through notes. So, so yeah, that scene. So then Heavenly is working and Contessa brings her dad in, her dad's in town. So she brings him in and Heavenly is just just afraid of your smile. Somebody's having a pretty smile.

Oh, yeah. Oh, hello. So, Kintessa, just in case you guys don't remember, because Kintessa hasn't told us 30 times just today, her dad was an addict. Oh, really? Every time, Kintessa, I guess they're just making a fulsome. Hey. Hey Contessa, tell us why your dad's getting his teeth done again. So every time it's like the first time, you know, well, my father was an addict. And yeah, it's like, we know your teeth, you know, and she says your your teeth are a reminder of what you've been through in life And I was like, well that explains a lot. It really does because all the corn chips and peanut M&M's that have gone in these things

I look like I've been to prison three times Oh, man. What does this say every time someone a bravo gets new veneers? What does that say? Yep It's like trying to cover up a horse laugh a bravo horse It's like trying to cover up a horse life a bravo horse I thought a van der Pupp again. Sorry Medicine recap which who knew that would ever have a van der Pump Yes reference Situation I can't find my words and I I own that because I was in Vegas and that's my excuse

Is that when you come back from Vegas you lose about 30% of your vocabulary. Yeah. Also, I went to Walgreens a lot. A lot. We as a group, it was like every, it felt like every six or seven hours, it was like, oh, well, time to go to Walgreens again. I don't know why we needed to go to Walgreens so many times,

but it was like, it was basically like a... This is right there on the wall trip. What hotel were you at again? We were at the Palazzo. Nice. Good booty. You know what? It's like, it's like, it's actually pretty affordable. What's good is since they have like all the rooms the Palazzo are sort of like semi-sweets where there's like the bed area and then there's like a little sunken living room.

And since we were like a group, it was good because like one room, we had three people in it and so it's just like, so it just like worked out really well and so thanks Palazzo. Yeah, sense of dreams. Thanks for Palazzo for not doing anything except receiving our money. Thanks for being close to a Walgreens Palazzo. Yeah, no, they had an integrated Walgreens, so there was that. They also had a Starbucks. They have a Starbucks right at the elevator at the Palazzo. And they- Well, you found your dream hotel. No, well, it's like a, it's a semi-dream hotel because the Starbucks are everywhere, but a lot of them, I learned this. A lot of them are Starbucks that are licensed, not corporate. And so the corporate Starbucks are the ones. Every corporate Starbucks has the same prices

and those are the ones where you earn points for things like various promotions. And the ones that are licensed, like it's licensed by the Palazzo de Venetian and they can set their prices to whatever they want, which is why they charge $5 for a stupid black cold brew. And then the Starbucks at Seasers, the good news is it's open 24 hours, so at 2am I got some sous vide egg bites. I got the I got the sous vide egg bites and two bottles of water and it was

19 dollars. Oh my God. That's easy. It's rude. Well, you know what you're not gonna do with those egg whites Those egg white bites break teeth, and that's good. Your teeth are your teeth are my favorite life. They don't contribute to my roadmap. They do, because you have very nice teeth. That's why you need soft egg whites. Do you have any hard plastic I can chew on? No, I have teeth issues.

It's like, I feel like I've got four teeth at any given moment where I'm like, oh, don't, hey, this piece of bread has a seed in it. Don't chew it on that, dude. Yeah, that too. I have a corn chip tooth where I've already had to get two crowns on my teeth in the back. And I could just keep eating those corn chips and a corn chip will hit me in the wrong place and my tooth and hurt. Yeah. But I know it's not a cavity because it's a crown.

So, you know, but it's just like that corn chip sensitivity. It's like, why are you still hurting me? I know, no, I know, I have that too. So I have a crown all the way on one of my molars and the other one I have a crown and it also was root canaled. So that one feels nothing, which is my to just takes it you know but the other one occasionally like don't mind me I got this beautiful crown I'm a wonderful crown like how dare you eat a sesame seed on my head that one wussy tooth I think heavenly wood treat your teeth like that like

look at this teeth look at this tooth It's very good to its mama. Look at this tooth. Do you slet, dirty hoochie? None you have some problem. Look at this tooth. Praise Lord, this is a good tooth. Go to church. Oh God.

Praise Lord, this tooth looks like it wants so much movies with its mother's teeth. Why is this tooth so far from its mother's tooth? When tooth is always in its closet to heavenly teeth Okay, so Kintessa is getting dentures for her dad, right or those dentures. I think there were I think it she actually says a bridge I don't know either way teeth. He didn't have teeth except for he did have a grill a Gold grill that have diamonds in it also and so they're like holding it and looking at it. And cadets is like, these are all the birthdays and

Christmas is that you missed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who was an addict and you know sometimes with at addiction? You can end up in prison. Sometimes that's for a day or a week or a month or a year or two years or three years Okay, I can test of you if we get you know, so yeah, so she's talking about you know What a good kid she is and stuff what she is. I mean she got him she got him some new teeth now I would prefer some glue down teeth, but you know what, why look at gift horse in the mouth? Yeah, yeah, they might give. So I can look whatever horse I want to with a mouth. How about that? Especially with a mouth has new teeth. Yes. So, um, heavenly, so, you know, they jump up and down and everybody's squealing when they see his new teeth and Yeah, they did look good and have a nice like you don't know how much teeth mean to you

You know, I'm not gonna push back on that because as someone who has had like those annoying dreams where you think of two this coming out and Let you have you ever had that dream? No, I mean, I've been asleep and my tooth has come out No, I mean, I've been asleep and my tooth has come out. But I'm literally almost choked to death on teeth, but otherwise no. The teeth coming out during in like a dream is actually fairly common. Like I just try to dream about anxiety or whatever. But every now and then you'll like a dream will come through. I don't be like, if this tooth is loose, oh no, this tooth is coming out.

It's like such an unpleasant Anxious dream to have. It's like it's really not fun and you do wake up saying gosh, I'm so glad for my teeth And I know where by the way we are speaking with a lot of teeth privilege right now. They'll come out eventually We know Right now. We just ask any hockey player they get it teeth privilege so quiet The show on the road. Let's get the show on the road. Yeah, I would like the widest Portland version of that song. You know, that song was basically, whoever put together this episode was like, I kind of

feel like Ben and Ronnie are just going off on every tangent today. So let's just put in a reminder in the shows that we know in their recap. Let's get this show on the road. Let's get this show on the road. I know. We need a three-hour married to medicine recap out of my bed. That's what people are here for. I know. By the way, did you notice this episode was full of so many flashbacks. Every single scene, there was like a five flashback montage, like once every 90 seconds. I will not come off my cherry-octah. So Quad is throwing this party for herself. So she goes and she's walking around with a party planner

and pretending like she did stuff, you know? It's like massage table. Which is, you know, nice, I guess. It's like an acrobat massage party. I'm not really sure what's going on. what's like walking through a strange airport terminal. Yes, it was like those Christmas fairs They have where it's like here's the booth for cotton candy and here's a massage station and here's a Hudson news Here's some magnets Yeah, it didn't really make sense. Yeah, yeah,'s like, she's saying like, black don't crack.

You see, I'm 38 and without her wrinkle, which is true. She looks great. And then we get a flashback of all her other parties that she's had. And she's, yeah, she's just bossing people around. And there's been a chef while she was getting ready. A chef was making her food. She was using her recipes So she was you know Tasting it all for quality control for continuity

Yeah, what was that for continuity? She's like I would like to taste this full continuity Yeah, I mean continuity is like Yeah, it's just just a quiet. Yeah, it's a quite is a Quatt content we I encourage continuity profusely when it comes to cooking. And her big note for this chef is, I would like to put more chili powder on this. Yeah, yeah, and she doesn't want to be cold otherwise it'll compromise the flavor, which apparently there's not enough of So by the way also not a great sign if you the rest if someone a chef was making your recipe from your cookbook and then it didn't

That's really bad self-appartising it's really like ooh this came out perfectly as it always does every time I know she's trying to make herself look like she has exacting standards and that's what people can look forward to in the book. But what's making it look like is that the recipes in the book are not good enough as is her big note or she had a bad chef authors note. If things taste bad or naked it put more chili powder on them. So, um, Eugene meanwhile is meandering down toios closet and he's in like this. He's like in a white t-shirt and white pants, which is almost as go to of it for any party. And she's like, so have you eye on your clothes yet. He's like, um, I have them on. Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't see you standing there

because this has to so big. But yeah, so we finally get to see this two story closet, which is just hilarious to me. This closet, it fucking kills me. I love that it's a two story closet right by his man room. And so he's excited that he can walk through her closet for easy access to his man room

and now she realizes that she got screwed. She realizes that she built a hallway in a basement. I mean, hilarious. So we finally get her two story closet. And I just rebounded just so I could watch it again, because we've waited for so long, you know, I've waited to see this fucking closet for so long. And now that I saw it, I was like, this could use the table saw. Like who's gonna lie? Like this is the perfect room to craft in.

Well, she already looked like she was crafting in the corner. Like she was, because she was sitting in the corner doing something and there was like a little vision board up with some notes and straw, et cetera. So, you know, it's not gonna be long before it does turn into that. I love that Tori is one of those people

that just discovered words, because she's really on that word thing. Everything has a gather type thing on it. You know, all of her shirts this season have said something like, the jib is by church. Or whatever. So anyway, actually that would be reverse for me.

The church is my gym. You know, it's like, I have to go to church Never I come home. It's like oh god here we go. Yeah, yeah, well So she is so it's gonna be a white party and she's conflicted because You know Mariah was an invited and Toya feels like she should support her friend and Nako also, but then she doesn't want him to become a thing. And then Eugene's basically like, just go. Like, you're thinking about it too much.

And this is a good thing for Quad. And so they finally decide the angle they're going to take is that they're going to support other women who are doing good things. Whoa. Whoa. It starts what other woman, okay? Yeah, I'm going to support somebody

by going to their event and starting a fight, which you know is like so notorious wheelhouse. So I was waiting for that. So then we go to Kaftay Istanbul, honey. Yeah. And I just love when Mariah does her like a marital event things, you know, because now they're celebrating Ramadan and I get a sworn she said, we've been celebrating Ramadan, she said something like that. And then what she goes in is she's like, Asalam Alekum. Oh, by the way, someone was asking where that click comes from from a riot. The reason we do that is because we're right at talks with one eye half open. And then she always like talks like she's pointing at the camera and winking

and doing that gun thing with her finger. We're just like, that's where that sound comes. Also, and also we're weird. Also, also, if you notice, all of our impersonations have strange qualities that have a little to no bearing on reality. So there's that too. Yeah. So she's having a very, very important religious dinner for, uh, for Ramadan. But of course, it's basically an excuse to get all her girlfriends together and talk shit about how she never did Coke before. So what the hell, Mariah, seriously, even on Christmas or whatever, you're having this Coke talk. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Every five minutes. Yeah. So her adorable kids are there. And then the owner

of this restaurant is like their best friend. So their kids are there. So they're all at this table. And it's really lovely. And then we're like, all right, kids, scram, go the other room. She's like, I wanted the kids to come. I'm so important for having part of the tradition, the culture. I'm like, you just kicked them off the table. Yeah. A super important part of the cultural tradition is talking about how mom doesn't do coke. So, shall we? Yeah, shall we? Shall we?

So, if anything can help you with a fast, it's Coke, okay? Yes. So now, Dr. Jared arrives. Dr. Jared, who was like a friend of last season, but didn't quite make it to cast member. I think Buffy's gonna make it to cast member for next season. Buffy is like a, she is a good reality TV personality. She's like, you know, she's, she's good. You know, Dr. Jared didn't quite make it and definitely not Janice. Janice was a terrible choice. I don't know how she even got into the mix at one season.

But so Dr. Jared arrives and she's with Lucy, who's Mariah's mother. And then there's like all these women and they all get names and I'm going to assume like maybe one or two of them are on other reality shows because last time when Jocelyn was on, I'm like, who is this Jocelyn? Everyone's like, she was on, he's loving hip-hop Atlanta. So this time we had Kimberly and Kinectra and Sparkle and someone named Jimmy and someone named Terilin. So I don't think I've ever been jealous of a name until I saw Sparkle on my TV. I was like, what the fuck?

How did I get a Romney, you know? As someone who saw Sparkle in the theaters starring Jordan Sparks and the legendary Whitney Houston, I really, really appreciated that there was someone named Sparkle on the show. Sparkle. Yeah, that had to suck. When that movie came out named Sparkle on the show. Sparkle. Yeah, that had to suck, huh? When that movie came out for Sparkle. Oh, for Spark. I was like, I enjoyed the experience. It was not a good movie, but it was worth it

just to see Jordan Sparks upset Whitney Houston and Whitney Houston just run around the house going, Sparkle, Sparkle. Yeah. So Lucy, Mama Lucy Yikes, she's terrifying. I mean, even just Yikes, she's terrifying. I mean, even just sitting there, she's terrifying. And then the sister, Lake, looks just like Mama Lucy, which is also terrifying.

I'm just terrified by everything Mama Lucy. I'm scared. Yeah, I just was focusing on the food because it looks really good. So at first, it just seems actually a very lovely event. Like all the friends came. I thought it was so cool, because I'm sure a lot of them don't celebrate Ramadan.

It was really cool to have this cross-culture moment. I was like, I want to go to Ramadan, feast. They're sitting there. It seemed really nice. Then of course, Mariah's like, after the drug accusations, we don't do this with just everybody. We do with people that we can trust. And like, now, Mariah, you're bringing up, like, you are going above and beyond to put

this cocaine thing front and center. You know what I'm also talking about? We are at Ramadan. I'm like so bored with Coke. Coke is like the dumbest drug to even get accused of doing. Who cares? Pick something worse, okay? But get a heroin addiction like come on.

You just boring with the with the coke. I'm bored. So then she goes on and she's like, well, Quad started this stuff because I have to keep doing this bringing it up over and over again. No, you're not bringing it up then. If you're saying that Quad started this that way, you have to keep bringing it. She's blaming Quad for her having to constantly bring it up. Quad's not even bringing it up them. If you're saying that Quas are this that way, you have to keep bringing it. She's blaming Quad for her having to constantly bring up. Quad's not even bringing it up anymore. Yeah, we would have forgotten. So Lake, Lake says, well, you've always been

too nice to Quad. She's always been up, not going to say it. And someone goes, oh, she was, yes, she's always been a hoe. There you go. This is this is what Ramadan normally is. Yes, you fast all day and then you talk about what host people are. Well, they are, I mean, to be fair, Mariah is probably very angry at the moment. So Mariah is like, well, I don't care what she is. You know, I don't want them to feel,

then she starts talking about how quiet it's having this party and she goes, I don't want, you know, our friends to feel like I'm expecting them to pick a side. I just want them to pick the I don't want, you know, our friends to feel like I'm expecting them to pick a side. I just want them to pick the right side. Like, that's, yeah, expecting them to pick a side. That's exactly the definition. That is such a Mariah talk, you know, it's so funny. Directly contradict yourself in the span of a breath. Yeah. I'm not expecting you to pick a side. I'm just saying, if you don't pick pick a side, I'm gonna ruin your life with rumors that aren't true.

Like I said last week, because last week, she said that thing about, oh, well, they just wanted to deal with lies. So now that's how I will deal with the, I will deal with them accordingly or something. So here come the barrage of lies. I can't wait to see what she comes up with. I'm not expecting you to pick a side,

but I have aspirations that you will pick a side, but I have aspirations that you will take a stance. Yeah, but if you don't, you're dead. So then we go over to Quad's party and basically just greeting everybody and seeing everybody walk in and say, wow, Quad can throw a party, honey. Yeah, Buffy shows up with her husband, David.

And David is just like, I'm like, is this what I look like when I walk into a board game store? He sort of is just like smiling and looking around. Like he doesn't even know where to start. And like people are saying things to him. And he's like nodding, but really not processing any words. I was like, that's probably me on a board game job.

Yeah, you know who I actually felt bad for? Will, I felt bad for Will because he didn't even get a chirod I mean Terran got a chirod and will didn't get one you did see will didn't you which ones will will of Cynthia and will he was pre-chill oh yes I did see him and I thought where's that guy from oh oh that's even sad or that he's like fallen out of your much with me. I mean Because they gave him like because he was there and Quas was like hello And then he they gave him a nice big long, you know close up on he did his like will smile

But they didn't say will they didn't say his name. They just they was almost like an Easter egg But a very obviously placed Easter egg. Oh, yeah, I saw them there. And I just thought, wow, there's a bunch of famous people. I wonder who everything is. Basically, like when I go to a party in LA, you know, I'll see people's face and think, oh my God, I saw that girl with the raw stress for less. And people are like Ronnie, that's like, uh, for chills. We're like some teenage superstar, you know, I'm like, I'm at the same party as this person. We're at my right now.

That's all I felt watching this party. Like I should know you, but I could know you from the pillow aisle at Marshall's. So yeah. Well, so everyone shows up and, I think Toyo is like one of the last ones there and she's there with Eugene and he immediately just goes to get a massage.

And then, oh, and then Curtis comes in and he walks in and he just looks at the room and goes, oh, wow, which was his way of saying, which one of these acrobats am I going to try to fuck tonight? Yeah, which one of these girls am I going to be just friends with tonight? Yeah, which one am I going to invite on a trip tonight? Yeah. So then they start talking about the tall guy because there's like a six foot five guy or seven foot tall. I can't tell because it's TV. But this big tall guy and Curtis is like damn that man even makes me feel short and then they all start laughing because everyone's way shorter than Curtis. And then all that this leads all the ladies to talk about. Guys who are tall having long dicks

and what they would do with a long dick. And, you know, this shows always good for that lately. It goes from like, praise the Lord, let's go to church to, you know, like, what kind of dick do you like to sack? I was, I was a little surprised that I took this many seasons for someone to finally say, do we think Curtis has a huge dick? I'm like, I'm like, this has been sort of like an unspoken thing, I feel like. But why did it take so many seasons? Why do we have to hear about Daddy's dick every single episode? And like no one's gonna even talk about the fact that like, you know, Curtis probably

has a huge dick. Of course he does. Why the hell else would she stay without loser? Yeah, but I like Heavenly, because they're talking about the tall guy. And I was like, he's probably log of hell and then they're all like doing a montage of their reactions to like long dicks whatever and of course Jackie's like I have no words, but heavenly's like, oh, baby I the penis is the penis I got as long enough for me. It was twice as long. It's too long

I mean we're just gonna go my throat. I don't need to penis that long. I'm crazy. And I like when Heavenly acts like she's on a very serious interview. So, you know, she's like, hmm, do I need a long penis? Here's my dissertation on long penises. You know, she's funny as hell, but she's answering so seriously. Yeah, so the girls all sit down and Heavenly and Simone are being nice to each other and Heavenly goes where's contestant or first contestant tonight and to make us Liz bariah. Oh, yeah, bariah was divided Was she God to yeah, and thankfully heavenly just laughs in her face and points two points her finger right in her face

Bits yeah, they're not even the night I think an adult. Nice try, Toya nice try. So yeah, so Heavenly was gonna bring quad a vibrator as a gift, but she'd left it at home or something. And this again, then this then starts talking about vaginas and they're talking about how vaginas smell and toys like don't let them out. It tastes you without tasting yourself. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, well, can't wait for that cookbook to come out.

Yeah, what are you in M&M? Like, does the only kind of animal I've ever heard eating itself or eating each other, you know? Well, I guess humans, never mind. Okay, sorry for dissing the M&Ms of the world. Okay, so Simone. They're also not animals. Guess they are.

What do you think they are? Are they people? They're candy. That talk. Sentient candy. Yeah. They have personalities. They date.

I mean, come on. It's a sexy one. That's always been one of the real issues with the M&M campaign. I think I feel like I just saw a new one where they were like, I was like, they ate their friend. They ate their friend, right?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. They eat each other because I just saw that commercial too. And I was like, what the fuck kind of fucked up commercial is this? They're in the other Eminem. Yeah, and they all say we ate him. Like, please.

And then there's also a really pervy situation with the green M&M. And there's definitely some M&M. I think the first M may stand for me as in Me Too, because there is something weird with those guys, the way they lear at the green M&M. Yeah, and it literally is two M's. So it's M-2.

Yeah, it's weird. M-2. Good job. Get a job. All right, good job. Would you be to get a job. It doesn't get a job. All right. Good job. Would you be proud of you eating your friends? Good to job.

So yeah, I'm just going to kind of scroll past this vagina smell talk because you know, I did like one. Well, I did like heavenly saying, I'm my vagina with my vagina with tastes like fresh fruit. Maybe egg whites. Is she making a Pavlova down there?

What's happening? And then she tells us coffee, caramel macchiato, non-fat milk. It tastes good. It tastes good. I try to say historic sense. I do a lot of white, piquilla. So my vagina tastes good. It's like you're a vagina. Jesus. I like that Toria thinks her vagina is its own state. So Contessa finally arrives. And then there's just like a random shot of daddy just looking confused like, oh, I don't know, I was gonna be at a party tonight

and I would have worn my scrubs. Are you, would you be terrified to go to daddy if you were in need of like dire emergency help? Because he always looks totally stoned or just completely out of it at all times. He's always just kind of waking up like where am I? Yeah, I actually would feel fine. I actually trust him as a doctor, but I would have apprehension that he may be like, hey, if you have a few minutes,

I just want to see what you think about this new track I just made. Can we keep listening to it? I'm like, no, I don't want to listen to music again Sir, I'm sorry We sowed daddy skis into you because he fell asleep during I think it would be like so contestant Scott arrived and I wrote why did I write that down? They're so boring sure enough. That's the last thing I said about contestant Scott. I think do we skip a scene last thing I said about contestants. God, what? Do we skip a scene?

Earlier we did, but I was like, that's just skip it. It sounds good. No, because wasn't there a scene? Well, we did totally skip a scene. I don't know what happened to it, but like we're basically, they were having dinner and contestants, Scott were having dinner

and at a restaurant and then the dad showed up and then they were all sitting there and contestant was like Hey daddy So I'm not doing my program anymore because Scott made me quit and I guess what they don't have a position at my Old job for me, which is crazy Guess I shouldn't quit that job, but I guess I kind of had to so can you look after the kids or am I just gonna? Have to take another hit for the team like I always do? Yeah, yeah, real classy Contessa.

Like you're not only putting him on the spot bringing it up on TV, but you're also doing it right in front of your kids. It's like fucking your husband over every single place you can. Scott's eyes are just bulging like, why are we having this conversation from the kid? He was super happy. Yeah, he's super happy. it was like I'm gonna force Scott to like act nicely because the kids are here.

Yeah, yeah, so she's gonna try and rope her dad into babysitting. He's like, you might wanna rethink that. Just like, how about some teeth? Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So quad, okay, so now it's time for quad to give a speech. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Yeah. Wait for it. Wait for it. A lot of you know what I went through last year. It was a lot and it was tough, but I made it. It was hard and I stand before you naked telling you what transpired. I slept in a bed that was oriented against the corner of the bedroom, not the wall.

I was not flush against the wall. But I am here, a proud survivor of someone in a strange bad arrangement and of course I finally takes another moment to be like I'm tremendously proud of quad because of what she's been through you know being publicly cheated on making a book about love when you're getting cheated on Browning a friendship with Maria The ever said Pearson Pups already pairs some pups Yeah, she was gonna charge 300 dollars for each one of those dresses So then quad is like and I want to thank the most important people in this life, my sisters, the people from my morning show.

I want to thank my favorite people in my favorite shape, sister circle. Which is weird, because my name is Quad. Yeah, there was one moment Talk about schools I have to sit without these women. I'll be nowhere. I wouldn't be famous. I wouldn't be on TV I would have anyone to pick me up when I'm down. I wouldn't I wouldn't have a friend to walk in on who was doing Gok You made me believe in women again. I was about to give up on women

I was about to give up on friends and so Toyota and some owner getting so mad They just cut to their faces, getting so, so mad. And she's like, but the sister's so cool, show me. Women can support each other. And some momentary are like, bye, bye. They just walk right out.

Leaving. Yeah, they just zoom out of there, like, fuck this shit. And then quad, this also shows how long quad was talking. But there was time to like say, this is do you want to leave we should leave where's my coat there's the coat do you want to go to the bathroom first okay great and now I'm going to my car and then back inside quad is like no I want to give a shout out to my

other less assistance I almost stop believing in them and women. Let's meet Simone. So she's like, where are some of them? Where are these girls? And contestants are like, well, some people were a little less patient for their names to be called. So some people gave up on you,

but we knew you were coming our way. Can you look after my kids? And so cross married. Yeah, you wanna take care of my kids for a while. So, Quad's like, are some people jealous? Because I didn't say that name just first. So, now we have our fight for the rest of the season with Quad. So, then her friend, while she's still giving a speech,

and also we know how long this speech is going on, because no one is listening to this before. Everyone's just talking, andad still just has that mic. So her friend comes in and says, I have a surprise outside for you. Yeah, they probably just came up with a surprise at this moment because you were talking for so long, but can someone just knock on that

like this delicious across the street and see if they can just like donate a car so we can shut her up? So they bring Quad outside for her surprise, which by the way, anytime there's a surprise outside, we always know what's a car, right? That's a given. So she walks us lives. Yeah. Yeah. So Quad's walking out, she's like, what could this be? And she still has her microphone and she's still speaking into the microphone.

It's like, Quad, you're out of range with the microphone down. No, you know that she made sure that that microphone had the range to go out and get her new car. She is hilarious. And she's like, my car, a car. I didn't know my car was going to come today. I don't know. Really? So they just, they just happened to, they just located you somehow to get you. I mean, I know Lexus has good service girl, but. Yeah, that was, that was, I just felt bad for the people who were inside. He just had to listen the entire time this like this embody voice Man quad so she surprised so I have only like miss quad gun and you come she surprised herself

Yeah and he's like, Miss Quacka, and you call him, she's surprised herself. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, good. So here we go, quad and her $1,000 car. Wow, you go. $1,000 car. That's crazy. Yeah, $9,000,000. Wow.

Tray, cray. And crazy. So that was it. And then we got to see the mid season trailer, which was really fun Looks like we have lots of fun stuff coming up over the next several episodes, but until then we are going to be back with below deck I guess tomorrow and we will also have an announcement on our new new new show that we'll be doing new city

Which will be very fun and I think that's I think that's it. I think we are done for the episode Talk to you tomorrow. Thanks for being with us. Bye everyone Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens' ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.