Watch What Crappens - Married2Med: The Straw That Broke The Doctor's Back

Episode Date: September 24, 2019

This week on "Married To Medicine," Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone organize an ambush dinner to resolve their issues with Mariah and Heavenly. Plus, a heartbreaking scene with Toya and fresh green beans from Quad. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Um, okay, so today is married to medicine. Woo boob. Yeah, so this week's episode picks up with the cliffhanger of last week, which is Quad and Simone gathering at a restaurant to get their relationship back on track. And then immediately it goes awry because the very first thing Quad does is bring up her feelings about the crab boil from last season where Simone basically was like you haven't been hanging around you have you've been like you've been hanging out with new people since a circle etc. itself. Yeah so we get in we're in the middle of this fight and Simone

has just gotten up to lead and storm out and she's like we have already talked about this Quad. Quad's like well how do you think I felt with your feet up on the table with those hundred dollar bills and your shoes How really we gonna keep it Yes, I thought you'd talk about how real you're gonna keep it with a hundred dollar bills and your shoes That was a year ago quad. I've seen you a million times since then Quad would you have a seat? Why would you have a seat please? And so some of Storms out she's like I do not have time I didn't have time last year and I do not have time this year and she storms out and then

Quad starts opening her straw all angrily and sideways and then she decides fuck this straw She throws it down, which is I have to say it's a little anti-climactic because I've been wondering what this straw drama is Yeah, I mean there was a lot of stuff with that straw because she throws it down So we thought like for all this time since we since we first analyzed the trailer We thought that straw is obviously gonna wind up in a drink right and then for her to throw it down It's like wow a twist twist we did not see coming. Yeah, turtle just got a straw and it snows for nothing. Like you didn't even draw your diet coke.

Yeah, it's because that straw's still looking to get thrown out. Still looking to get thrown out. Yeah. It's not like there's a separate ocean that unused straws go into. Yeah, so quad decides to go and chase down Simone. She's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, quad and she's like, well, I don't have to listen to that lying ass She's going then fine chicken go

The way there's like I literally do not care save eternal. How about that? I know I then just like Oh, you know what I actually wrote down a note quad puts a straw in her water and drinks so the straw did get used It got used good So we do have an ending to that and she's just muttering at her table alone, like just muttering like a crazy person. Yeah, she's like, yes, she's going off about how unbelievable it was that she could do this to me. And then she tells us instead of just only

her shit she would rather loud talk me and act as if it's old news. Well, it may be old, but I have feelings. I have feelings. When I say, Spine is that I have feelings and some others in the car and she's talking to herself too. She's talking to a little GoPro cam in her car. And she's like, unbeat, leave a-able. Unbeat-leave-able. I wish I had a known she wanted to talk shit that happened when, year ago, or two years ago,

because I would have told her to kiss my ass. Yeah. So Simone gets home. She's like, say so. Say so. And he's like down in his sad man cave, making himself. Some sort of, did he say it was a martini? Because it looked green, if you've probably remember correctly. I did he say it was a martini because it looked green if you

If I remember correctly, I was thinking it was like a margarita type deal, but I don't know. What do I know? Who knows what goes on down there? It was definitely in like a weird glass. So Cecil is like ready to enjoy a nice night Like at home alone. No kids quiet relaxation. It's like Cecil Cecil It's like, say so, say so. He's like, oh, fuck. Yeah. So she's like, you will not believe this, Cecil.

She wanted to talk about last year. And he's like, last year, she was at the crab bowl. That's how someone pronounces crab oil. She says, the crab bowl. So last year at the crab bowl, she's like, I gave her my authentic feelings. And I fixed this with her at the crab bulls, so at the crab bulls. But why is it okay for Simone to be able to speak her authentic feelings at the crab bull?

But Quad can't speak her authentic feelings at the restaurant, you know? I mean, I know it's old, but at the same time, I also feel like, basically, it's from what it sounds like, quad is a slow processor, right? So Simone is a fast processor, and so when she hears something, she reacts, she gets it out, but then she's like, she's like done, but quad it like sits, and it takes time for her to just, you know, and she's like, you know what, I realize, I never liked the way she spoke to me at that thing, and I feel like I really need to address it because it's been actually like in me for all this time. But of course, Quad did not actually...

They're both right and they're both wrong, right? Because Quad should have addressed this earlier, but she didn't. And so she's trying to address it now. And she should be allowed to, but she also did it in a piss-poor way. She did not do it with a... I know that... That this is, you know, two years old, but guess what? It actually still bothers me. She was like, we have to talk about the grubble. Like, after, after sponsoring in an hour late, about saying, sorry, thank you. Like, what

is the total jackass? No, quad is being a total jackass here. She's just trying to have drama, to have drama. I think, yeah, that's how I'm looking at the whole thing. Well, I'll tell you who's having a break time. Oh, wait, no, you were about to say an and I was about to switch away You give an answer to Trixie Monaco Trixie Monaco is not a very good time. She really is. She's like Yeah, that was some classic tricks the little sassy like if you didn't know about me I'm about to show you about to show you I'm a great singer who had a bat and who didn't respect me so I did my solo thing and now I'm over here about to show you about to show you look that one in port that was really good I really liked the feeling of that

one I think that's gonna guess back on the charts Paul yeah and this is real sassy song for heavenly sitting in her giant closet surrounded by her shelves of purses. It's like, okay, heavenly. Not posted all heavenly. So she's based on in Contessa in the closet. Yeah. And she's been in Contessa's talking about Nashville and heavenly's like,

Well, you know, Danny, I have a history in Nashville, Danny. I'm a Danny in Nashville, the medical college. Ah, praise the Lord. Daddy. Yeah, she said praise the Lord a lot in this episode. Just for everything, she's like, oh look, I found the stapler, praise the Lord.

So, then, uh, quad, we then see quad at home and she's just trying to figure out her cabinets, like the door is one close to, like, ah, you don't know what I've been through gaping the door. I know she was doing that thing where you stick the pan in the drawer But then the hand of the pan or the arm of the pan what do you call it the handle? It's like sticking out and she's just shutting it like you have to move the pan. Okay, Quad we've all been Quite so relatable. I have told that pan so many times

I am not here to move your handle into the cabinet. That is for you to do. I am here to cook fresh green beans. I cannot handle that pants. I know. So then the song comes back in again and she's like, if you don't know me, I'm about to show you. You so low have fun. You so low, heifer. You so low, heifer. I was like, what? She's saying, I couldn't tell if she's saying, yo soy la heifer, meaning I think that she was saying,

I am the chief or I'm the boss, because heifer is boss in Spanish, because guys, I'm by Long Wall. OK, long wall. So I don't know what she was saying, but I wrote it down five different ways. And then I obsessed for the rest of the episode. Is she saying like, I'm a low heifer? Or is she saying I'm the boss in Spanish?

I don't know. You probably said something entirely different. Like, I love forever. Or something like that. Probably. Like, is she calling herself a heifer? I'm like, no, I think she's admitting her love to the world. I don't know.

Or I thought she was saying, you're a low heifer or something like that. But then as I kept hearing it, I thought, oh, she's saying, I'm the, I'm the boss in Spanish. It's like, you know what? I don't even know, but thank you for reminding me that I haven't continued my duo, Lingo glasses. Thank you. We'll have to get to the bottom of it. And so, uh, Trixi Monaco, if you're out there, could you please clarify what the lyrics were

to this royalty-free song? That was the... Yeah, let's give us a call, babe. Thanks. So, yeah, so we see Jack and Curtis playing basketball because they're so happy now. And then we go over to Mariah's House. And all like the footage, it's like, for some reason,

it's like spring everywhere in Atlanta, but whenever we get to Mariah's House, it's like for some reason it's like spring Everywhere in Atlanta, but whenever we get to Mariah's house, it's always fall Have you ever noticed that it's just always fall at Mariah's house? No matter what like do they just shoot all her scenes in October and then like wait Six months to pick up filming for the rest of the season. I don't get it. Yeah, Mariah's energy is just always slowly killing trees Yeah, it's like all the trees are always red and orange Everything is red and orange in there Yeah, it's just it's just forever autumn She's like the lady from entertaining, but just not like that and her she's the lady from frozen

But not entertaining enough to like make it total winter. It's just always fall, you know her big song is let it let it let it she's half-assing her song in not frozen I'm not gonna let it go yet I think her song will be I'm not gonna let it go let it go not gonna let it go I'll let you won it I'll let you won't it, I'll let you won't it. So, um, let's acknowledge it. I feel completely, I'll give you a chance to apologize and while we're at it, to my mama who still hurt. You said rumors, you said rumors.

About me to wait cracko came, which I don't want to talk about anymore. So, Aiden, I feel completely betrayed in this scene because Aiden shows up and he's not wearing scrubs. How am I supposed to know that you're a husband? Who's a doctor? Unless you're wearing scrubs. I'm pretty sure.

I didn't recognize him at first. I was like, who is this rando in here? Trying to hit on Mariah. I was like he's I don't know I recognize those plugs Hmm God, I don't I just don't I need the jacket. I need the jacket. It's strange. It's weird It's weird seeing him not in scrubs. I know what you're saying. I would it's a mystery. It's a mystery Yeah, he's always in scrubs. So or actually he's not sometimes he's just in his doctor's jacket Like you know, I'm I wasn't put on his jacket. Sometimes if it's like a formal event, he puts on like baggy white pants and like a white blazer,

you know, and maybe something like blue pattern shirt. But when he's doing the around the home scenes, he's always in a white jacket. He's like, don't forget. I'm a doctor. And he also wears his stethoscope. That's also, yeah, he's always wearing his stethoscope at home. Like, honey, I just asked you to grill some burgers. Yeah. Yeah. It's I feel like also when he's wearing his formal wear or like his going out clothing, I feel like it's all probably repurposed scrubs that have been sewn together into something awesome, like a project runway challenge. You know, like there's always scrubs around

Yeah, well dad, you know, he's no daddy in that regard. Oh, yeah, daddy will just wear the scrubs to a fancy restaurant Yes, so he'd like wear the scrubs to a new discolony like where you don't even have to wear anything But there how I feel comfortable So Aiden is like yeah, you're my wife, but you still fine Yeah, no scrubs. No scrubs. I was like, I was trying to think of the show about extremely obese people that this could be based on that joke. I was like, my 600 pound pile of scrubs.

Life. My 600 pounds scrub life. So Aiden, yeah, he's hitting on her and she's telling him she's gonna go catch up with Toria and stuff. And he's like, you might have to cancel baby because you're so hot. Go put on your scrups. Get back into your uniform. This non-scrub aidin is not right. Yeah, stop trying to play me.

So Toria is coming over. Mariah is like roasting peppers because Toya is coming over and Lake. Her sister Lake is too. Which is impressive considering that the big fight season won the iconic fight. I think involved Toya and was it wasn't wasn't Lake in that fight. Oh, no, that was Lucy. The mom was. Yeah, Mama Lucy was.

She was the one standing in back hitting Toya in the head with her purse. Also spoiler alert. I don't know if you noticed this. I don't know if you noticed it. And the previous for next week looks like curious back in the mechs. Oh, I did not know. She was in the previous. There's some. Yeah. We've summed her back. We've summed her back to the show. Yeah.

I have struggled for 20 years trying to get back onto the show for the past four years. And I finally done it. This is not how we behave. This is not how we behave. Oh, bring her back, please. So it comes over wearing these green pants and whereas like, oh, look at you and your green pants. You're like the junior varsity version of me. Carl Stein. I'm like, please neither of you brag about this outfit because I didn't like it on either of you. Yeah, you're John hack on wrong

The second time it's been worn and the second time it's failed miserably. Yeah They go down to a gazebo, which I didn't even know is on the property, but they're in the gazebo very least savander pump very Le savander pump Yeah, and they start talking about that tea party church thing from last week. And Troya's like, girl, it was the opportunity for people to scurred about the issues that were already out there. I don't even get it. Yeah, and Mariah's like, hmmm. Well, I'm just upset because I felt like Jackie didn't, like, Jackie didn't speak about what she did to me.

Made everyone else speak about what they all said. And basically, Mariah is still mad that she feels like Jackie has not owned up to her mistake. Even though Jackie did nothing, Jackie just asked a question about whether a Quadrativ said that, whether, I'm sorry, yeah, Jackie asked if Quadrativ brought up Mariah's alleged drug use. But now Mariah is a... Which is a matter, Jackie, for that? Yeah, so it's just hilarious because Mariah's alleged drug use, but now Mariah is a jacket for that. Yes, which is hilarious because Mariah's mad that Jackie was messing while Mariah just invited her sister Lake on camera to talk about how Quad fucked her husband.

Yes. Like, my God. So Mariah is like, yeah, I just want her to own it because friends, you know, she's way too old to be spreading vicious, slanderous lies. So she's like, she tells the girl, she's like, Jackie is the rumor meal. She is. She goes, I wanted to eat that bitch alive like a piece of sashimi. And she's like, I don't know what's going on with baraya, but I don't know if she's starving, but she keeps referring to people as food. Yeah.

Also, sashimi is not alive. Yeah. She's like, I wanna eat that bitch alive, like sashimi. I'm gonna eat her uncooked. Like, mm, that's better. That's better, yeah. That was my hungry, was my hungry. Which I like, because then we saw a flashback of last season,

when, what was it? Mariah had like an insult where she like, did a full on meal prep. She's like, you know what I'm gonna do to you? I am going to dice you up and then saute you and then add some salt and pepper, saute you some more, add some stock, reduce it, bring it to a simmer, add some seed set,

check for seasoning, add the chicken, cook it till it's done, add some herbs at the end, plate it. That's what I'm doing to you. I'm gonna pico de gallo, her ass. That's my favorite thing that's ever been said. I'm gonna pico de gallo, her ass. Yes.

Pico de gallo, sashimi. I mean, it is. It's starting to turn into a lovely meal. Come on, shoes. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai.

And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So, Toria's like, well, you know, we're all in a place where maybe we don't like what people are doing,

but I'm more like, that is not the point. I will eat her with Wasabi and soy sauce, that is the point. And she's like, no, what I'm saying is, I didn't address Contessa because then it would be me and her on 20 But you know like I'd at least like to be talking and where I was like, okay Well then we can agree that the first step is acknowledgement as like come on Mariah

You are barking up the dumbest tree ever. You're not gonna villainized. You're not gonna villainize Dr. Jackie Yeah, it's not gonna happen. You're not gonna make her the most hated person on the show. Sorry It's not gonna work and just're not gonna make her the most hated person on the show. Sorry. It's not gonna work And just because someone taught you the word acknowledgement and you are now repeating it every episode does not mean that you're any more Right in the situation or that you'll win. She's like you better roll that and acknowledge me up in a tortilla And serve it with a nice side of guacamole. That's what I'm saying I guess that's out of guacamole, that's what I'm saying. So now we go over to Jackie and Simone having smoothies on a little picnic table.

They have like, there's some picnic table somewhere at Atlanta that they always go to and they're there. I think it's in front of Jackie's office. I think it might be. I think it might be. It's like, it's like their table. Yeah, because it's like a park table in front of a strip mall.

So I think if they're off their office. So, um, so Jackie and Simone are having healthy movies. And Jackie has brought flowers for Simone. She's like, I brought flowers because I thought flowers are important. And I want you to have something because you're important. Simone's just sort of like, what happened? Yeah, she goes, well, I feel like I'm in the middle of very important people. Probably like this, Fowah feels. You're really stretching this, okay Jackie? She's like, I mean particularly you and Heavenly.

And so she's, so most just looking at her and nodding, like how far are you gonna take this Jackie, you know? Yeah, it's like, well, I've made up my mind at one. I will not allow heavenly to seed herself in a jar with a potato that has water in it because the potato should learn to sprout so the kids can understand potatoes. Otherwise, the flat rose potatoes, and nobody wants that.

Do you understand what I'm saying? Do you get it? This is the moment, like, does the potato clean up after itself? Because then yes, I do understand. And I would like that. I would like that potato. So she's like, that's why I haven't called you Jackie. I am not putting you in the middle.

And I'm not in a situation that I need someone to force me to have a relationship with someone that doesn't have respect for my husband. Oh my god. And once again, in case anyone has not been watching this season, this whole feud is because Cecil quoted Mariah something that something silly that Mariah said last season and heavenly thought it was a pointed attack at herself. So she responded by saying that Cecil Cecil should get a job because it was commonly acknowledged on the reunion that Cecil didn't have a job. And then Simone thought that was a pointed breakage of girl code because Simone had told heavenly that she wanted Cecil to get a job, but it's so ridiculous.

It is ridiculous because they showed the tweet. They're so mild. They're both so they're both the right. They're totally mild. Like because they're both really mild. And her tweet just says, I feel like he just needs to get a job as out of women's mess dot dot dot. Well, that's not saying Simone told me that he has to get a job. Everyone knows he was unemployed. It was part of the, it was on national television. Yes, and so for Simone to get mad at Heavenly, clearly shows that Simone was feeling a certain sort of way in terms of like her anxiety about the situation

and she just probably just projected it all onto Heavenly at that moment. But it was so ridiculous, and the fact that we have to watch these grown women, these grown professional women have a full on fight that needs to be mediated with flowers and smoothies is like ridiculous, but also crazy. Because because heavenly needs to pressure wash her house. I mean, this shit is too much. So Jackie's like, well, everybody

has an opinion of what happened and what took place and how they feel without hearing the other people Which is why I've written my feelings down on a card that I'd like to hold up. I'm like, okay Wrap it up wrap it up. So she's like I miss my friends and Simone just keeps blinking at her And she's like, but people have done things that have hurt my feelings Jackie Yeah, which point Simone's like okay the minute you buddy up with Mariah then I'll buddy up with heavenly So they're like okay, so Jack is like fine. We'll do a double date Yeah, well get a we'll get a for some to Kindle and buddy up Kindle and buddy up because that's a that's a phrase

We're gonna go with so Now next we go over to heavenly going over to contest us house and heavenly's like hello kids How y'all doing how you doing kids and she's like oh, they're just practicing their chess match And he's like oh praise the Lord It's like everything gets a pretty good You know I was a chess champion in high school don't you? And she's like oh Jesus heavenly is like whenever heavenly talks about her past she's like the best in everything and then they cut the heavenly telling us. I was vice president of student government. I was the president of

underclassmen council. I was the president of student council my freshman year in college. The Lord actually praised me at my graduation so... I was the president of Latin Club and P. Latin Club, also known as E. Latin Club A. And I was also in the methamid and I was on volleyball and football and I was hockey and field hockey and I was the captain of all those teams. Hey, daddy. I'm a graduated-pranus.

I got a fucking fucking scholarship. And I've worked, I'm out of graduated, Prathanos. I got a fucking fucking scholarship. And of what? Uh, she says like she's a fucking full full scholarship. And I'm a world-renowned dentist. So there. Yeah. I went to a special college, the best college in America, called Javier Brinston Brown. It's a great school. A mission of one.

So Contestus says, well, the good thing about a high school resume is that you can say whatever you want You don't have to serve receipts. It's like, oh, you're gonna get it for that one. I can't wait for this reunion So they start talking about their day and heavenly's like, oh, I've asked that six implants Till about 12 because I work half a day Oh, till about 12, because I work half a day. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

Oh, is this a chair? Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Daddy. So, having these, so contestants like, well, I had this whole conversation with Scott and like, it's just stressful because, you know, like, because I'm off going to school in Nashville. Oh, by the way, we have a Nashville show.

Nashville show. And just talking about that and, you know know the pressure that's putting on the marriage and Heavenly is like, well daddy these kids aren't supposed to be with him, they're supposed to be with you, you're a natural nature, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord. Yeah, she's like well when did I lose the ability to have a say in my own family? And it's Heavenly goes, because you stepped out of the situation, you're supposed to be here with the kids, you're a nurturer, men don't get it. So why do you leave your damn kids with your damn husband? Yeah, just a woman's place is where, and with her children, you sign up to be a wife

and you watch over those chess games, daddy. I was like, oh God, heavenly. There goes heavenly again, just trying to pretend feminism never happened. Yeah, the progressive views of heavenly yeah heavenly like anyone burned their brawls because it was cold outside like the flusters pretend that no marches ever happened okay heavenly like of course I would vote if I had the right yeah and and then Contessa doesn't really help things either

because Contessa is like, you know, Heavenly doesn't realize that like she's not a domestic goddess herself. I mean she's ambitious. She's smart. She doesn't sit at home waiting for a man to bring home the bacon. So I'm like, are you implying that the women who just stay home and take care of the kids are not ambitious and are not smart and are just sitting there waiting for the man to make the money? I was like, I think both of you guys are sort of like saying everything a little bit wrong right now. I know you guys are both just sitting there making a scene that you might as well just grab shovels and start digging holes because that's what you're both doing right now. You know, you just yeah just dig some holes in that backyard. So, I heavily think you better get your shit together

because I don't want to see you cry. Do not not cry You never know when the straws about to break an a marriage can't Tessa I think it's a word Quatt is very upset by that metaphor. Oh, I just hope in the straw Like I said it's gonna break You cuz you know you know that quad broke that straw Matt restaurant I'm sorry to go back to the straw that you know that she did like she's just the way she handled that straw I mean, I actually I actually believe that that was her probably second or third straw because the you know that she did. Like she's just the way she handled that straw. I mean, it's a straw. I actually believe that that was her probably second or third straw because the first straw that she's probably given,

which was not seen on camera, was that she had the straw and then she probably tried to like bang it on the table. You know the fourth straw up through the top of the wrapper and like she probably went too hard, so it actually broke and she's like, oh wait, I'm gonna need another straw, please. I'm gonna need another straw, this one broke. This is an unfairly strong

There's like an entire family of tortured turtles now. It's like what I'm just getting angry with the straw Just don't make quad angry around her straw. Okay. Don't by the way, I don't think that's a phrase You never know when the straw is gonna break. I think it's you never know when the Which straw is back as a back. Yeah, you never know when the Campbell's back is about to break, but you know, whatever. I mean, this is a very fitting episode to get it wrong, because quite as breaking straws. I'm using this opportunity to step out of my straw right now. Yes, I have a straw. That's right. I have a straw. Well, I will say that, you know, here in Austin, they don't have straws either. There's a ban on

straws too. And I had to die at Coke the other day. And I was like, well, so what, you know, I'm Austin, they don't have straws either. There's a ban on straws too. And I had to die coke the other day. And I was like, well, so what, you know, I'm gonna learn to help the turtles too. I don't wanna see turtles get hit. I mean, I just spent the other morning on Facebook watching a girl who befriended a butterfly. I'm not even kidding. I have a butterfly with a broken wig.

So I wanna help the turtles, but let me say, using straws with die coke, no good, that's no good. It hurt my teeth. I was like, oh, without.. No good. That's no good. It hurt my teeth. I was like, no. Oh, without. Yeah.

Well, here's the thing. Okay. I'm totally, I actually am, even though I have a straw here, it's because I already, I had already bought like a pack of straws for my homemade iced coffee. And so like, I'm not going to throw them out because it's, it's like, well, I might as well use them, right? So I am for, I'm for paper straws. I think they've come up a long way.

I had, I, you can have a paper straw sitting in a drink for like multiple hours and will still be strong. So I support paper straws. What I don't support is like not offering me a paper straw. Like it give me a paper straw because what has now happened has been a significant rise of my least favorite scenario, which is, okay, oh look, I have a pint glass full of diet coke and ice. And okay, the first beginning, it's fun, super fun, just drinking my diet coke. I'm a grown man, I can do it, you just tilt the glass and sip the liquid, but then you get that point where you are about like you've had about three quarters of the cup. And now you got to really tilt that cup to to drink that diet coke and and now you're in that precarious tense situation where it's like I have to increase the angle of my tilt a few more degrees to get it started flowing towards me but at what

point will the ice start coming at me also because that is what happens because you were sitting there and everyone knows that balance that moment When you're sitting there and then all of a sudden the ice is like fuck it I'm going forward to and then everything comes at your mouth and then the ice then pushes all the liquid with it And then all of a sudden you're like spilling all over yourself. It happens. Don't act like it doesn't give me the paper straw Yeah, thank you. Thank you, Ben. You know you were probably probably there too, right? You had the ice rush. Oh my God, I've literally, do you know how much food I spilled on myself and people? So, do you know how many people I've spilled on myself?

Food and water, I've spilled so much on my, I'm currently wearing one of my favorite shirts that I won't get rid of, and it has a huge, something I was drinking made a big circle right under my nipple. So, it looks like I'm lactating. Like, yes, I get it. You know, straws, they're, they're killing, they're killing turtles, but they're saving t-shirts. So it's like, what do you do? You know, because a precarious place

to be. I do not like that, that ice rush. I do not like when that, that ice comes just, it's an avalanche. It just comes down the cup and pushes all the liquid with it and it goes all around the sides and then down onto your shirt, and then people look at you like you're the idiot. I'm like, I'm not an idiot, it's physics, I can't help it. Yeah, I've been made to look like an idiot by the lack of straw, so thanks a lot, too. Yeah, give us the paper straws, okay? Okay, so I'm glad we had that conversation

because we can skip over most of this next thing because it's really sad, and I don't like sad things, okay? I thought it was sad and sweet. So basically we're at Toya's house, and Eugene comes home from work and he's like, the kids are playing or they're doing something, so they're coloring or something

and Toya's giving them snacks and Eugene walks in and he is holding a gun that's the size of a canoe. It's like a big toy gun. It's like neon, you know, a big neon toy gun, the size of a canoe and he's like, kids, you can't leave this by the door. I'm like, what has happened in the world of water guns? This thing is enormous. I've never seen such a big water gun in my life.

Yeah, that was a terrifying water gun. It was like out of the future. I mean, I was this like, years of war has, like, came to life or something like that. It was insane. Yeah. And things change so fast. I just don't like seeing your big giant gun either. While we're on soap boxes about straws, how about let's stop like teach our children to shoot at each other? Yeah. How about that? Yeah.

Can we come up with a good substitute for instead of water guns? Can we do? What would be a good like paper guns? You know, let's just keep it uniform paper guns. Like, like, like straws. Everything we have to do is. If you want to have a water gun, you have to make it out of origami first and teach Keep it uniform paper guides. Like, I'm like straws. So everything we're replacing. If you want to have a water gun, you have to make it out of origami first

and teach yourself into something that's what happens. Exactly. By the time you've ever got it. You've never got it. Yeah, I didn't have any anger left. So I didn't want to shoot anybody anymore. You see? So yeah.

So apparently one of the suns has been acting out at school and Antoya suspects that in the wake of this of her miscarriage that the kids have not been processing very well Also they call like a little family meeting and Eugene asked how the kids have been feeling and it was oh it was like heartbreaking, but it was so sweet and so lovely and it was such a great real moment How the you know what the kids were saying. So one sun said, I've been feeling mad. And then the other kid, the other sun was saying, I've been feeling a little low K. I was like, all these poor little, these poor little boys, you know, it's so your heart breaks for them that they have to go

through anything or they have to feel these sort of things. Yeah. And so she talked about going to see Simone and getting the ultrasound and then hitting her that she lost the baby and It was really sad and the kids go upstairs after the talk and Eugene's like, well look you know, I'm okay You're okay. We're gonna be okay, you know, and she just did you just look at your penis when you said you're okay? No, I guess you did That's such a guy thing to do you You're okay, my dick is okay. So you know what, my dick is so working,

so we can work through anything. I do have to say that also, I mean, not to bring it back to the sad part, but you know what the sweetest part was with the part that I love. I was like, I just wanted to give that little boy a hug. As soon as he goes, what if somebody starts talking about it and I start crying, what would happen?

I was like, please, you were, this is, we need to be making fun of your mother right now. Please, like, let's take this off the screen. I can't, I can't right now. This is too sweet and sad. So then we go over to Simone, who's having a family meeting of her own. She's bringing in a humongous whiteboard from her car. And all the guys are like, Cecil has made some sort of enchiladas, so the boys are like, you know, standing in the kitchen, eating dinner, and Simone walks in with this easel, and she's like, we are going to the family room for a family meeting quad. Like, quad. Sorry. like Claude. Sorry. I hope no one minds that I'm wearing $100 bills in my shoes. So she says that and she's like number one trash. And Michael's like, oh, so you're saying that

you work too much to take the trash out? That's what you're saying. She's like, Oh Jesus Christ, I'm a woman. I should not have to take out the trash. Number two, Sam, Sam is a dog. A dog I never wanted. You guys got Sam. I had to walk Sam the other day and pick up his poop and it got on my hand. I am a doctor and I see things that are way worse than poop all day long. But then I don't want to come home and see poop. Yeah. Next, there is no reason for clothes to be on the floor.

And then, uh, then, rubbers. So I was like, I don't have a hamper. So she's like, ruppers. I was in Miles's room and I saw a stack of Ruppers and then they show her walking and finding all the Ruppers and it's next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table.

Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table.

Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. Next to the table. didn't do. You keep saying we have to clean up our rooms, but you haven't even been in our rooms. So you don't even know what you're talking about. She's like, I woke you up this morning. I had to step over three puddles of semen. It was not pleasant. And I still somehow got

dogs shit on my hand. I'm like, I'm starting to see her point. You know, dogs and and semen. Okay. Like at least hide your jergans, you know, dogs and ants see men, okay? Like at least hide your jergans, you know Yeah, like everybody knows you probably masturbate. We don't really need to see it like your mom doesn't need to see that It's like yes your mom is you know a gynecologist and deals with sex and talks with people that sex all the time Maybe like just try to attempt to make the jergans look like you're using it just to moisturize Not right next to the condoms so so like you're using it just to moisturize. Not right next to the condoms. So the voice are high-fiving each other because of the condoms, which is hilarious. And then so he's like, okay, well, we have rules for you, too. So now it's time for your rules.

And she's like, excuse me, I do not have rules. And he goes, which kid said this, I didn't write down? Well, Michael, he goes, he goes, he goes, he goes, this, I didn't write down? Michael, he goes, he goes, he's like, it's the hostility in your voice, okay? We could be talking about the simplest thing, like, why is this water bottle green? Why is that green?

He was so right, I started to laugh. Yeah. So they start giving her shit about just being too loud, you know? But then, but then it winds up in this big repug and I was like I love their family. They are so so lovely and wonderful So then heavenly heavenly is back in her closet again because that's the only place. She wants to shoot the season Have you noticed that every time they're in her house? She's in her closet. I have not noticed that but I will take note of it now going forward So she's organizing her closet into what she's worn and what she hasn't worn yet.

So This is not going really well clearly. Yeah, so she's talking to the newly cast Alora the new girl playing Alora. I'm like you got what is this Rose Ann? It's like a new Becky in here. Yeah, we know we can see yeah, so yeah Yeah, we know we can see yeah, so yeah They're like a Laura's helping her out and we see we see them Like in the confessional talking and Laura's like I am cuter than you were at my age and she's like well daddy That's because you have money daddy plays plays the law And so that's why you can look cuter than I did in my age daddy I didn't have any new clothes praise Lord. I didn't have any new clothes.

Praise the Lord. I didn't have any new hair done. Because we didn't have money. Praise the Lord. So she's like, So let's talk about sex. Are you with that stage where you're talking about sex with the people? Are you just talking about sex?

Are you having sex with the people? Because you can talk about it. You can talk about it. She's like, Oh, mom. Oh, mom. No. Mom. No. Well, when you're ready to date in five or six years from now then And the Lord's like five or six years from now

Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. I Like that she said the boy is only have one thing on their mind And it's not the movie and then the first thing daddy wants to know is why Laura never calls him anymore for movies. Sometimes guys are simpler than you think. Yeah, because daddy joins, of course, in scrubs. And praise the Lord, dad is here. So we're just talking about Laura when she can date. And I think LaLaura is like,

Mommy says I can't date until I'm 18. He's like, 18, you can't date until you're 30. Yeah, and then Heavenly and Daddy talk, because Laura's like, okay, I'm leaving. You guys have each other now, goodbye. She gets out of there. And she's like, she's pulling away from me, Daddy. Hello, first she changed actresses. And now she's just not even talking to me, Daddy.

And they're talking about how they're gonna have empty nest syndrome and all that. Which is like, oh, Laura went to the movies with me every weekend. And now she doesn't even ask me any more. I want to go back to this empty nest syndrome because they're like, well, Daddy, after this year, Zachary is graduating, Daddy. And that's just also Laura. And then she'll be gone soon. I'm like Zachary.

What? I just love that there are all these siblings that are not even on camera and have the things house. Because she has one kid who's in college. Now there's Zachary. And now we just see you. Who are these people? Yeah.

So then let's go over to Quads House who's cooking, because that's her thing. And Jackie comes over with a bottle of wine and she's, she's Quad is telling her dog. She's like, I'll be right back. Now go to your bed dogs. Go to your bed. Go to your bed. I'm just going to the door.

To the door. So, so, so Quad welcomes Jackie in and Quad of course is cooking because she still theoretically has a cookbook on the horizon. So, she brings Jackie into the kitchen and she says, Well, of course, these are my fresh green beans which are in the book and my Mexican street corn. Oh, and Silverware which I will talk extensively about in the book. I don't know if you know about Silverware but it's essential to cooking. Jackie sees all the vegetables in her knives and she's like, why would you buy this stuff that you have to cut?

When you can buy it at the store, already cut. I'm not understanding this. Yeah. It's like it wouldn't have the quads touch. It wouldn't have the quads touch. I don't tell you how to catch babies. I don't tell you how to catch babies. I don't tell you how to catch babies and you shouldn't tell me how to put green beans in the oven for 20 minutes and take them out and toss them with some of the almonds.

And Jackie's like, whoa, these are green beans and they're unfrozen, isn't that? Isn't that Mariah's new musical? Because, like, it's different from your traditional chord. Tired. This is Mexican chord. Alright, now let's talk about frowny face. Some bold. I started with a crab bowl.

I did. I did. I couldn't help it, I did. Is it so wrong that I started with a crab bowl? As a Mariah would say right now, let it. Is it so wrong that I started with a crab boy? As for I would say right now let it let it Jack is like um if you need someone to say sorry over and over again It's not the person that's pointing at you that has a problem. It's the person that has the fingers pointing the other way.

This is the problem. Oh my god Like I'm Jackie and I've brought you flowers to prove the point So yeah, so so Jackie's like is there anything quad that you can own that you did in that Situation and quads like so I have to have thought I'd like to own something if I did nothing wrong I don't own anything I lost everything with Dr. Gregory what do I own now I'll tell you what I own now my dignity and these green beads and this Mexican street cord that's what I own that That's what I own. Dr. Jackie, I own nothing but me. No, not you're being too extra. Yeah, so Jackie's like, well, what can you do? She's like, well, I can't open my arms and receive her.

Hold! I can receive her! Hold! Wow, that was quite a a you turn you just made that What the hell is going on? I don't know. I don't know with glad sometimes So now we go over to the spice house where Simone and Mariah are meeting up for dinner and Simone is they're just sitting there at this point We think it's just the two of them having a meal and Simone brings up Jackie and the moment that she utters Jackie's name Mariah goes into full pop eye face like it's just the two of them having a meal. And Simone brings up Jackie. And the moment that she utters Jackie's name, Mariah goes into full pop eye face. Like it's full of gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah gah g And he's some most is going to send him in an Uber Black. And then some most talking about how Jackie and her had a talk. And of course it started out that she wants me in heavenly back on track. And she asked if I would sit with her and I told her if she's willing to kindle and

burn, then I'm ready to kindle and burn. And you're ready to kindle and burn kindle and burn. So by the way, you have to talk to Jackie today. It's like, uh, so whatever you want to do this. She's like, well, and then we cut to Jackie and Heavenly and the basically walking in from the parking lot. They walk in, and then as they walk in the doorway, Jackie's like, uh, basically, by the way,

there's something I forgot to tell you and Heavenly looks across the restaurant and see Simone there just Look at the shady bitch, you know that right? You know that? I'm not shady. Alright, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, you're shameless. I'm so low, so low. Jack, he's like, I brought you somewhere special and she's special. HUMMOOOOOO! I wish daddy would bring me every now and then daddy praise the Lord their menus

So they all hug and you know give each other awkward hugs and then they're sitting there just staring at the menu awkwardly and Check is like well, I guess we should see what we're ordering as flowers do when they're Sitting between two people at a restaurant Jackie still tried to make it work still pushing the flower thing between two people at a restaurant. Like Jackie's still trying to make it work. Still pushing the flower thing. So Jackie goes, so, Mariah, it has been brought to my attention

that I somehow offended you, which I guess must be pretty easy considering that all I did was talked about. Can soup and maybe a dust bunny I saw and apparently that really pissed you off. So you wanna explain yourself, thanks. And whereas like, well, I was offended at your podcast when you made drug allegations. I would ask that you at least fact check because I've always held you in very high regard, Jackie,

very high regard. And I feel like you know me enough to know that that's just not my lifestyle. And Jackie just looks at her. She's, but what was quoted was stuff that's already been quoted. She's like, but the problem is you only quote one side, Jackie, you don't talk to me. And Jackie's like, well, you don't talk to me. You talk at me. Like when you said that slip thing, I promise you, I don't understand what you meant by slip. When Mariah was saying, you're showing your slip, you're showing your slip. So she goes, if I could, if you could speak the Queen's English or Abonix so I can understand and Mariah just goes, pop my face. Total pop my face.

It was so shady. I mean, if you could just string together a few words and a proper sentence, you know, syntax, is that a hard word, syntax? Maybe I'll just say, how about three letter words? Let's start with three letter words and go from there. How about that? Oh, so Jackie's like, well, what I want to do is apologize from my heart that you don't know how to speak. And if I offended you and I did, I apologize for

offending you. If I did, which I don't understand, but I did. And what's important is that I apologize for doing whatever it is that you think I did, which I don't understand, but I did, and what's important is that I apologize for doing whatever it is that you think I did that you're so upset about, which I don't understand, but I'll pretend to, so we can eat. It's like, thank you. I was like, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, uh, Queens English, please. Queens English, or Ibonics, I will accept Ibonics.

This ATM speaks Ibonics, Queen's English, and text message. Either one of those. Can you do that? Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. Sorry, I do not understand your requests. And also, how is Jackie supposed to fact check drug allegations? Like, is she supposed to test you? I mean, what the hell? This whole argument. But Maraz, like, okay, and we don't ever have to go back to this argument again.

Jackie's like, okay, and we don't ever have to go back to this argument again. Jack is like, okay, thank you. So I will see you in about two more episodes when we go back to this place again. Thank you. B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b Heavenly just tries to basically ride the co-tales because now because Jackie did such an eloquent Apology she's like I'm not saying if I offended you because I know I offended you because you're a very dumb person Who's offended by things like this bowl of nachos over here? You're offended by it, aren't you you are you're you're clicking at it already I can tell I don't know what the clicking means because I only speak English, but I can tell you're offended anyway You're offended so I apologize. I, you're offended. So I apologize. I apologize.

And then he's like, I apologize to him. I apologize to him, but she said, which is like, he's kind of was like trying to like take all of, like all of Jackie's and just like, and that goes for me too. Me too, did it. Yeah. Did it to that.

So someone's like, well, heavenly, I feel like I shared things with you that I had not shared with other ladies, which is not true it's like and one of the things you said that if my husband got a job our relationship would be better Which is not what she said and having least like I Tell me in confidence that it's a Are you going to let me finish are you going to let me finish or do you going to let me finish? Or do you want to know why I'm offended? Can I finish? Can I finish?

Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Thank you. I know I want to finish. Praise the Lord. So you know I'm offended. Now you're pretty the Lord.

Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? It's so crazy. I have dog poop on my hand now. Somehow I got dog poop on my hand. Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? I have dog poop on my hand now. Somehow I got dog poop on my hand. Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish? I have poop on my hand and I'm holding my son's condom? How did things happen? Can I finish? Does it smell like turgans in here to anybody? Please learn, please learn, that is a boat face last amount. I'm just gonna correct you as I see fit and she is well I am actually okay with you heavenly I do not need a correction from you.

Yeah, so then she starts she keeps trying to make this fight happen which they're all on such stupid fighting grounds anyway like we do not care about these fights you guys they're all stupid so just yeah and Simone so Simone is already falling into her own trap which she always does which is she starts fighting about can I finish can I finish and then they're talking and then have them say I don't understand your attitude and she's like I don't have an attitude you called me a liar and then heavily it's like can we just can you just admit that Cecil was wrong for tweeting at me? Amanda's not to that too woman daddy daddy is the finest man that I know and he would never do anything like that daddy here's what a man needs to do a man needs to wear scrubs everywhere

looks sad and moep that's what Amanda's daddy and, well, everyone is not your husband, heavenly. There's some shit that your husband is done that Cecil would never do. And she goes, Oh, really? What are you saying now? What does that stuff my husband did? What does that stuff say? Well, I think I just said it. Just say it. Say it.

I just said it. I thought it was heavenly with saying that Cecil is done stuff that that Damon would never do no she says Heavenly is saying a man should never do that to a woman my husband would never do that to a woman And so most said oh well your husband's done things that I'm not gonna mention Then my husband would never do and so she's like threatening heavenly with some info. She has on daddy Which is hilarious. It's like she's now she's like, what are you threatening to accuse daddy of cheating? Because that's what it sounded like. Yeah.

And so that's why heavenly starts squealing like, you know, Dino from the Flintstones. It's like, she starts going crazy over this and then marise like Simone. Let's go to the bathroom. Let us go to the bathroom. So they go to the bathroom to talk. And meanwhile, heavenly is back out there going crazy with Jackie. Yeah. And Heavenly is, you know, they're talking about that.

And Mariah of all people is saying that Simone should just accept Heavenly's apology, which is hilarious because Mariah is the most resistant to ever accepting apologies. So then, I'm sorry, does they have any, I meant Mariah is telling Simone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah She should accept the apology right yeah, and so then Simone is So then they come back to the they come back from the bathroom and heavenly is about to go off right Yeah, she's in like survival, but now so she's like well We can talk about people and people's men

But there's no comparison between my man and everyone else's man. And then, Jack is like, well, of course, they're both great at reminding each other what the other person did, you know? Yeah. So, Jack is like, here's what I have to say. Life is so short. So I'd like to say this to the nachos.

I see you slip. Did I say that right? Anybody? Just trying to. Just trying to fit in. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, not helpful, Mariah. Not helpful. That right anybody just trying to Like fit in So they all change seats so that Simone and Heavenly can talk about and Heavenly's like I still care whether she cares enough and some most crying and she's like, yeah

Do you receive that if you are so busy trying to damage me with words? You cannot possibly think this is repairable, evidently. Yeah, and they're like suddenly both very calm. I think that like once the moans are to cry, like that's like what heavenly needed, because now heaven is like, I just want to get over this. I just want to, can we, can we move on? I want to move on, daddy. Can we do that? Can we do that? Praise Lord. Well, you hurt me when you said,

C is so needed to get a job. And she's like, But that wasn't in confidence. Everybody knew that. She was, but I said it to you. Yeah. Okay. So, I mean, ultimately, they both apologize to each other.

And then they hug. And it's, it was a nice hug. I still think that they're going to flare up again. But they hug. And, you know, it was a nice hug. I still think that they're gonna flare up again, but they hug and, you know, it seems like everyone buried the hatchet at this meal shockingly. It looked like it was not gonna get anywhere, but it did. And then they all leave.

And then Jackie is, I think Jackie in the car was like, you know what I'm excited about? Progress. I'm like, not in this group. Not gonna happen. And Evan that goes, well, pants a little Jackie, you did that. You did that. And then variance of under in their own car. And, uh, variance, like, well, I was harping resentment for Jackie. I admit that. I admit it. And she goes, uh, I

just, uh, you know, I hope that we can just, uh, keep the same energy. And then her and someone just start cracking up in the car. Like,'s not gonna happen not gonna happen at all you guys thank you so much for listening we'll be back tomorrow with some below deck med very excited for that and later this week we'll see a bunch of you guys in Charlotte and then in Nashville will be Orange County and Dallas respectively that will be covering it those shows go to watch what happens to get all your tickets to Charlotte and then in Nashville will be Orange County and Dallas respectively that will be covering at those shows. Go to Watcher Crapins to get all your tickets to all of our shows and also go to patreon.com slash watcher crapments to get things like the bonus episode, stuff like that,

sign up for our newsletter, everything is at Watcher Crapins. Every single thing that we're talking about is at our website. So go there if you're interested in getting more involved in the crap and experience. And until tomorrow, have a great one everyone. Bye! Bye! and add free with Wondry Plus and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.