Watch What Crappens - Married2Med: The Suite Life of Jackie and Simone

Episode Date: August 11, 2022

The cast of Married to Medicine heads to Vegas for a girls trip, but not before the husbands bury the hatchet, as it were.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious and perfectly lovely Ronnie Karim. Hi Ronnie. How are you? Well, how about me? How are you? I am doing just fabulously. We're in the middle of a, you know, we're in the middle of a week of recaps

and craziness. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up before we dive into today's marriage of medicine recap. That next week winter is crappin'y is back. We are gonna be doing a trailer breakdown of the new Game of Thrones prequel that I believe, I think the Game of Thrones prequel I think is gonna be August 21st.

It's the house of the dragon is when it's going to premiere. So to get ourselves hyped, to get ourselves stoked about it, we're going to do a trailer breakdown. So Winder's Crap and is back. Episodes will be here on the Crap and Speed, but you can also, it'll have its own feed too. If for some reason you want your own feed for it, it'll be available. Eta, you want it, okay? So we your own feed for it. It'll be available forever. You want it, okay?

So we're really excited for that. So tell all your friends who listen to, who love Game of Thrones that we're doing it. And they can tune in, et cetera. How are you doing today, Ronnie? My Pinto beans. Oh, still morning, this is gonna as in the comments.

My Pinto beans. So for every situation this whole week. It is married to medicine day Certainly is today is the day her marriage medicine So I guess should we just like jump right into it because it's like there's men drama at the top this episode that really needs to be a drama Yeah, we can't get into our own man drama on a man drama day. Also, I haven't done anything. So, there's that you want to hear about the video game I've been playing. Oh, I'm telling you, I'm a spitfire of a girl in that one. I can shoot. I can own. I can tear apart robots. No one needs to hear my sad life. Okay? Get on with it. That is man drama. So the big thing from last episode was that Dr. Kieran and Nila, they dressed up like a moving company

to move Eugene and Toya to wherever they're moving next. And Eugene and Toya did not appreciate the joke at all. And so now the men's, they're all gathered into throw axes, but first they have to bury the metaphorical hatchet, which doesn't really go so well. I wouldn't say it's really a bearing. It's more like someone put the hatchet on like dirt and then like brushed a little bit of dirt over the hatchet, but like the hatchet's like obviously there. Yeah, it's like Terry Hatcher, ever goes away really, right? When you think it's very even gone, it's on another show. It's like, there's scenes again. So yeah, we are right here when Karen is

just about to show up. And Eugene's like, here's the deal. I was very disappointed to see myself being put up as the butt of a joke. I feel very offended because I never said anything to you in a mean kind of way, Karen. And Karen's like, well, you know, if the costume bothered you, his eyes are really wide. Like, you know, finding out that they're, you know, I don't know what spaghetti O's can make a sentence or something. I have a word for the Marissa is very surprised to see a word in his bowl. He's like, whoa, you know, if the costume bothered you

or bothered to ya, I'm really sorry about that, but you know what, I still think it's fucking funny. And Eugene's like, you're still digging in to this is funny, and Karen goes, it was funny. It was funny, I'm sorry, defended you. You took offense at all that, but it was funny. It was funny. I'm sorry defended you you took offense at all that but it was funny. It was a funny funny joke It's so dramatic that we get a real house was assault like city But it was just one

Like they were like let's use the choir there guys you can't use the choir that's all like city I feel like we use it for one note. It's a man fight like all right I noticed that too. I I feel like can we use it for one note? It's a man fight. Like, all right. Check the mid-range. I noticed that too. I totally noticed that. And I was like, so I just hear like a little, like a touch of Salt Lake in this episode. I was like, oh!

It was like somewhere like Whitney, Whitney just like jolted about a bed. Something is wrong. Lasty, who is in the well? So Cecil's like, well, do you think that apology is sympathetic of like you needed it to me? And then we see a clip of Inila telling us like, wait, are you saying that he refused your apology?

He's like, yeah, he was in his feelings about it. So back to Eugene, he's like, but you're still saying it was funny. He's like, well, I'm never gonna go back on that. It was funny, that was funny. And so Uji is like, I will accept Kieran's apology when he actually apologizes and he keeps saying that it was funny. And so Cecil's like, well, I actually believe

that you didn't intend to hurt Uji and he's like, let me just help move this apology along. Let me give you a line that you can just pair it. I believe you didn't intend to hurt Eugene when you said that. And Eugene's like, okay, then what did he intend to do that? And Cecil goes, to be funny. And Eugene's like, he's like, but it was expense. I have enough expense. I married to toy. Yeah, I know Karen's like every other person at this table thought it was funny at so Eugene's like

But you're doubling down on your insult. He's like I'm not doubly done on shit. Okay. I thought it was funny Funny. Oh, I guess I did just double. I literally said that twice, funny, funny. Yeah, but he goes, I missed, listen, I missed judge how sensitive you would be based on what I wanted to do. And I am sorry, I won't say jokes, I'll be the dullest motherfucker here. And Eugene's like, call me a motherfucker one more time.

Okay, Eugene, calm down. No one said that. And I love that Eugene's power is just always staying seated. I think that's so funny. Because literally everybody else is standing up. And like Karen's standing up from kind of, you know, having this argument and Eugene just keeps tilting his head. He's like, I will not move. I will stay seated. So he's like, call me a motherfucker one more time. And I say that as a seated person. So Karen's like, look, I said, I'm going to be the dullest motherfucker here. Listen, look, look what you're doing. Now you're turning your back to me instead of having a conversation.

And someone's like, we're here to throw our backs out throwing eggs. Is guys, come on. It's got of course, Scott's like, let's go throw axes. Let's go throw axes because, you know, his, his super power is not confronting things and running away He's like dammit. I wish there was a door that had a little movie reel on it that said admit one that I could run into and slam behind me And then Scott tells us yeah if I could choose if I could close my eyes and turn the volume up a couple of notches I would swear I was at the table with our wives. You know those women. God, so emotional. Scott, we have never had to listen to more bullshit on a TV show than your storyline. The past couple years. You're not really in the place to throw that stone, sir. I know. I get the Windex out and start cleaning the

windows of that glass house. You're going to be here a while while. Oh God, women, women are always arguing over stupid things. Yeah, like men definitely don't do that. Men don't do that at all, not at all. It's certainly never seen men get into fights on reality shows. So Eugene is like, why is it, why am I that important to you? And your wives' lives that I'm the butt of your joke of your jokes? And he's like, what I want to hear now was that that was stupid, I shouldn't have done it, it was my bad. I know, Karen's just looking

at him like, but I was funny. It was funny. Yeah. Karen's like, I would never say anything malicious. And he's like, it was malicious to me and to my wife. And you're still saying it's funny. You made a joke about you made a joke about the fact that we move every six months. And it's something that everyone on the internet laughs about. And it's something that Andy Cohen laughs about and all of our friends laugh about. And you dared to find humor in that. That is not right.

Hey, it could be worse. They could have showed up as IRS people. Okay. So now let's take a moment with Daddy. So Daddy's like, hey, who doesn't have plank in their eye though? And everyone just stares at him. And then we see Daddy and Heavenly and he's like it comes from the Bible and that's where I get my personality so that's why I said it and heavenly's like yeah you

can't talk about the plank and my when the plank and your eye keeps moving to downsize because it's a damn poor. So daddy's plank. Hey, do we tell the move us get the plank out of the eye so we can So daddy's like, hey, do we tell the move us get the plank out of the eye so we can Don't want to leave the plank behind the way the plank we're gonna have to buy all I want all do plank wasted go ahead Wasted dream plank So now we get a monologue from daddy. He's like all of you guys or your wives Have said things that have hurt my feelings or my wife's feelings so no one can point I planks at us. Because you know what? You're talking about someone else's problem, but they might have a splinter, but then you might have a

plank, which is like a splinter, but is bigger, and it hurts more. And now they're talking about splinters. Now people with paper cuts in their eye, how? But they don't have paper when the Bible was written. That's why it took so long to publish. It was written on rocks. So they had to wait till paper was invented to get it to a publisher. Thanks. Yeah, you know, your wife said things that hurt me, and five or six years ago would have been really sad for me. But now I've grown a tough skin because your lives are aggressive. They're not soft. The way women should be. And if they'd only been soft, I wouldn't have had to

become harder. But now I'm harder. That's okay. Because men should be harder. And women should be soft. Okay, that was my lesson. He says, I'm not going to react to your wives, but I will react to what you do. Yes, Daddy, that's what we're here. Okay, they're reacting to something that the guy did. So there's a big long pause while everybody like tries to figure out this plank story. And Karen's like, okay, just to save me from any more Bible bullshit,

I'm gonna be careful of what I say from now on. And then the fucking guy, the guy in a kilt who looks like he was there on January 6th comes over and it was like guys what are you women come on let's throw some axes. Curens like thanks I felt like I was I was meant to walk the plank just right there hey the joke it was a joke I can't make jokes about planks now after daddy just said as they come on that on, that was funny. That was funny, daddy. Daddy, stop crying. Stop crying, daddy. Don't walk on someone else's plank with you living a plank house.

So, um, now they got a throw, um, Eugene then says, you know what? I, like, like I've said, to many houses before, I'm going to let this go. Okay. I will let this go. So they, here's my next note. I refused to take notes on this. So this is when they start throwing the access. So yeah, you're, you're up. Yeah. Well, there's not much to say they throw axes. Of course Curtis gets a couple of, I love like, it was really funny to me watching Curtis do this

because I feel like it's like the equivalent of him putting like a magnet on the fridge. He's just so tall. He's like, bloop, just gets an axe right there. I mean, so they do it and they throw axes and there's like an uneasy piece afterwards and Listen, you know acts Axis play an important role in straight men's life. It's it's both a healing. It's something you use to chop wood It's something that you do clearly to heal wounds and it's something that you spray on your body that no one enjoys the odor of but

People do it anyway. Yeah So having least like that he is very accurate and getting things in the hole. He does it every time. That's my experience with daddy. And he's like, oh my god, I don't know what she's talking about. Proverbs 36. What do women mean? So then we go to Quad.

And that's like that. Everybody's doing things at the beginning of the episode. So Quad is with her kid and she's like so you Intentionally dropped it in the water or Was it an accident that you dropped it in the water? And he's like why would I drop my phone in the water for a reason and Quad goes the reason would be To see if it was waterproof the defense risks.

It was the test, the proof ability of watericity in the toilet. May I approach the bencherosity please? Hi, Quad, who has the last name that I don't remember will now announce that One can drop something intentionally into a toilet if one wants to test the toilet itself in a fence Ress It's a web. Thank you. I don't know. I forgot I forgot listen I'm just gonna listen. I had to have it like four weeks ago. Okay. I'm gonna believe it on that Getting I have quad brain.

I love that the kids just look directly in the camera like, what the fuck? So then we go, uh, Chitoria and her kids and she's like, Wood Bay, you're both going to Watergate, so what exactly like to be? And they're like, oh, geez, mom, god. And that's why I have given you all memberships to Zillow. Enjoy. They've been pre-selected neighborhood with sidewalks. Enjoy.

sidewalks and tennis courts. So then now Scott and Contessa are kissing in their office and the daughter is like, ew, and then we go over to Dr. Jackie's office, and Heavenly just was like barreling down the hallway with like some takeout and she's like, I'm coming back, hopefully no one's asses out. I'm coming back. Okay. Oh, so they're eating and then it's Simone.

Simone's like, Hello, I am in the office at building location. Back's Simone. Simone's like, Hello, I am in the office building location. Back here Simone. So she goes in, she was not expecting Heavenly to be there. And so she's like, uh, hello. And so Heavenly's like, Hi Simone. She's like, uh, hi Simone. She's like getting more and more like high pitch.

And then she finally gives us the full-on Heavenly Stance Up and grabs Simone and hugs her. Hi Simone, it's so good to see you. How are you doing, baby? And you could see you tomorrow. The month is tomorrow, everybody. So, um, wow. It really goes to show you. If you keep working on your voice, it will eventually raise to the octave because I couldn't do it last week. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la audio file. I'll just go, I'll just go, la la la la, I'll go, I find the audio file. But every time. Missions, here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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So, Jack is like, now this is the proper way of conducting an ambush. I got to make sure they both landed at the same place at the same time, with terrible takeout food. So, someone's like, what happened to the focus on the duo instead of focusing on the trio? I'm not used to the duo yet and now I'm focusing on a trio. And Jackie's like, well, after we were at the party and we talked about what we should, that we should go away, I thought what better way to connect then to coincidentallyidentally, get together and some homes like, uh huh, she's like, listen, Jackie just single-handedly put the golden girls in fast forward, slow down, I just got used to the duo.

So someone's like, how are we gonna plan a trip when heavenly does not get along with anybody? And then we see a clip of Toria yelling it heavily. My marriage is not funny. Stay out of my marriage. So Heavenly puts on her beaker voice and she's like, well actually I'm getting along with everyone. I meant Toria in a wedding complex. And so we see we see like yesterday she's like, Toria, I apologize, I had no excuse. So we see yesterday, she's like, Twia, I apologize, I had no excuse. And then she's like, oh, I had a good conversation as well.

And so then she's like, I have a trauma, I have a trauma, I have a trauma, I have a trauma, I have a trauma, I like what she gives, she sounds like she has a sore throat when she's being serious. And then we have a contested text. Well, contest my intentions and not to hurt you. That was wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. And contested text back. Please stop top texting me. You are giving me a headache. Thanks.

It's attracted some birds to my window. The birds can hear the text. So, Jackie believes that Heavenly knows that she went too far and that deep downside, Heavenly has a heart and that they've touched her heartstrings and her heartstrings sound like this. So, so someone's like, well, if we want to step out on the wild side, we could go to Vegas and heavenly's like, oh, I can't pull. Hold on poker. Hold on poker is what I play. And she's like, well, I don't think so because you don't have poker face, heavenly.

You'd be like, he he he he. No, no, no. This is what I say. When I get my car, I get't think so because you don't have poker face, heavenly. You'd be like He he he no no no. This is what I say when I get my car. I get my two cards. I go I can't tell why you cards could see cards. I love you guys God bless you cards How can you see someone's poker face if they've got a plank in their eye? so Anyway, they and then course, Jackie says the thing that everyone wants to hear when you're planning a Vegas trip, bring your workout clothes because we might go workout.

Oh, Jackie's the real life of the party over there. Yeah. So let's go to the Melon, Melon, I Center. Milan plank in the eye center. Plank removal. So Anila takes dinner and the kids to the office to see the happy, which I'm sure he loves because he's staying there so he doesn't have to see you fuckers. Okay, I know. And then you come in with dinner with some cold ass dinner. Thanks. Some whole dominoes.

I will have to say, by the way, those kids are so cute. There's something about their little, their cute little winter jackets. Oh, I'm like, they're so sweet. I'm like, someone saved them from Bravo. But, and Nila's like, I brought pizzas, and guess what? I brought you an enormous bottle of bullet bourbon,

which didn't make sense at all. I think it was she was trying to be like wacky or something, and Karen's like, what the fuck is this? Like, what am I supposed to do with this? I can't have bourbon in the office. I can't even keep it here. Why are you doing this? She's like, well, you can just take it home.

It's kind of like, well, then why did you bring it to the office if we're just gonna bring it home? I don't understand this. So he talks about how they almost shut down over COVID, because no one could get elective surgery, but now they're almost back to you business. But basically they're here to talk about the kids, because Adela has taken care of her kids for a week or something. And she's like, I cannot. These kids, they have to go pee sometimes. This is the worst cure and we have to do something.

You know what, with Ms. Gomez gone, I'm getting so busy with blogging. I'm getting emails left and right. Okay, there was someone from Nigeria who was a prince who emailed me. I mean, like I am having worldwide reach right now. Okay, I'm getting invited to so many things. Okay, this is a lot right now, Karen.

He was like, well, why don't we just try another nanny? That's what we need to do. I mean, listen, it takes a village. So we just need a village of nannies. That's what we need. And she's like, I've tried to find someone, but it's so hard to find someone to really trust, to find someone who you really trust, Karen. It's like really hard.

So how do you feel about my mom? He's like, oh my God. Not her. He says, I think that sometimes when a nail goes about this research, there might be a slight ulterior motive behind it. She's like, no, I really did try. Like I really did try to find a nanny.

Like I watched old episodes of the nanny and I was like, okay, so you're higher and then Fran Dresch would never call me back. So I did everything I could. She's like, okay, you call me. I'm more on my mom to come. She's really good at opening an Amazon package. What can I tell you?

He's like, oh my God, if your mother comes back, you might as well put a fucking straw in that bottle that you brought. Excuse my language, kids. But my fucking Pinto beans. Okay, they've already learned something bad. So now we go over to Contessa's house and her trainer Abdul comes over. He's like a man wall, a wall of man. And he has a meal plan for her because she's doing the most exciting thing on Bravo and rolling in a fitness competition. So basically she can't eat anything and one of her snacks is half an apple. She's like, who eats half an apple?

He's like, you do. So that's like, that's going to be her storyline is eating. She's like who eats half an apple? He's like you do. So that's like that's gonna be her storyline is eating She is so lame. Did anybody else feel the energy just sucked from the TV the second? Yes, of course off with this fire her. I can't listen. I'm sure she's a very lovely person off screen take her there, okay? This is boring. Okay, let's go to Audra. Oh, Audra goes to Heavenly's house. Oh, Audra's the new lady. Okay. Yeah, she's she's coming on as Heavenly's friend and she's a real estate attorney. Yeah, I think we saw her earlier in the season briefly and in fact her husband was at the axe throwing and they were like, Audra's husband, I was like, okay, now who's Audra?

But I do, I remember the idea that we have met her but I just didn't remember Audrey But now here she is. This is like her first proper episode. She's great. By the way, I loved her immediately and So she comes over and they're talking about going to Vegas and going to like what they like doing in Vegas And she really likes going to she's not a gambler, but she's like going to pool parties and letting her cakes hang out, she says. And so, Heavenly's like, oh yeah, well you and Quad will be great together because she loves to put her ass out too. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. So she's like, so I hear that there was some talk about marriages the other day and Heavenly's like, no, let me tell you, can Tessa use my real friend? Yeah, she's my real friend. And she says she didn't mean to hurt her,

but you know what really hurt her? The way they came out, me, I wouldn't believe the way that they came out, me, why would they do that to me when I love Contessa? Oh, okay. So of course, having the real victim victim in a little bit says usual. And she says that she will apologize to Contessa more than text and Audrey's,

Audrey, Audrey is like, well, she might want to fight you after that. And she's like, well, I haven't had my ass beaten a while, so she can do that. And they start cracking up. Yeah, I think we go over to Quatt House and she's packing,

so that means she's talking to her dogs, including her dog Joy, who she has color blocked with like doggy hair dye, but like bad color blocking. It's like in terms of like clashing colors. It's like one strange green and then an orange and then like a purple. It's just like, it's just it's madness. It's madness on that dog.

Yeah, all the dogs, she has three and they all look like that. They all look great, right? I know. So then, Toya and her big closet saying, you're gonna miss me, Uj, and you say, all husbands miss their wives. Maa. And then Simone is gonna take a full cat suit

and put a bat in it. Yeah. It's a packing segment everybody. It's a classic, classic packing segment. And Contessa is excited by Vegas, but she basically, now Contessa reads the text that she received from Heavenly. The text was like, my heart is heavy,

and I value our friendship, and it really matters to me. I'm sorry, please forgive me. And Contessa feels like heavenly does these nice things in private, but not in front of other people. In front of other people, she's a different person. She doesn't trust it. Which is, I guess, fair. But the other thing is that like the the season began with heavenly literally trying to apologize to Contessa and public, right? And like Contessa was like sort of icing her out. So there's like I mean, heavenly definitely created this mess, but at the same time, it I don't feel like it needed to escalate to the intervention that it did.

No, that was like Contessa planning a moment. Yeah. So then they go to the airport and Everyone's super excited and they're talking about rooms and Jackie's like, well, we only have seven rooms So two of us have to share so what I decided Wait, you decided you decided without talking to us? She goes, yes, because you said that you have menopause so that helped and she's like she's used menopause against me I know she's like well you're gonna have menopause you'll probably have the AC blasting so so I think it'll be best if you have your own room so heavily it's like if Jackie wants to say she it's the menopause it's fine but I know the real reason and Jackie knows she has to treat some uncertain way because Simone is much more fragile.

Yeah. So then, Toria shows up. Everybody's just arriving, you know, Toria's in like little short shorts and boots. And she's like, Toria is about to do Toria this weekend. She's ready, all right? She's ready. And by she, I mean, Toria, why shouldn't I say I mean?

I meant by she, she beats Toria. She beat't I mean I mean by she she beats Toya. She beat me. Who's that means to she but then they they're Toya. Toya. Toya is not talking right now. So then yeah, they all arrived. They get on the plane and then Jackie's like on her phone. It's like Jackie Ham and she's like, well, I'm here on the plane. That's Simone behind me. And she's like, Simone, what are you doing standing up? Because you know, Simone turns out is that person who you're about to take off. And then there's always that one person who stands up to check something and the flight attendant

has the passive aggressively say, as we are about to take off, it is unsafe for anyone to stand. So we're just a reminder for people to take their seats, not pointing out anyone in particular. But if the person who is standing did hear this, that would be great person in row three. Thank you. Um, a contestant almost didn't make it. Okay, it's two episodes right in the row because we had it last time before this where it's like, well, if someone not make it to the airport, so here we go.

Okay, someone might not make it, but they did make it. You know, it really makes me appreciate the work of Robin Dixon, who is like the only one on Bravo who said, you know what? I know they want me to do the old, is she gonna make it on the plane thing? And I'm willing to not make it to the plane. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I will, they need me because if it isn't for me, then, then everyone will always assume everyone's gonna get the plane. But by me not getting on the plane, I have now introduced the element of suspense that yes, it is possible for someone to actually not get on the plane.

Yeah, Robin bringing that temporary realism to Bravo. Yeah. Um, so they're playing around. They're all excited. Now they're in Vegas and someones like the golden girls are here, baby. And we're like, why you all got to pick such an old ass day? What do you got to call yourself? That shows our TV is stupid.

Yeah. So, um, they're there. They're like excited. Some of them are like, uh, like dropping it low, like out by like the like the uber area. And so Contest is like, these girls remind me of girls gone wild. I'm like, great, great observation. Contest. So they get into their sprinter van. And there's no, there's no booze on the sprinter van. Because they're like give us booze Like where's Jackie? Where's the booze and of course Jackie's like I made sure you guys had something to quench your thirst It's right here. It's called

Water it's like Water water makes the body good it can also drown you if you get too obnoxious like body good. It can also drown you if you get to obnoxious. Like booo, Jackie, booo. If you look around the room, I think water could help everyone in here. Boo. Now every show has this person, and of course this person is contestant on this show. Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, singing the shot song wrong. Yeah.

I know. So they are, they arrive at the Hilton at Resorts World, which is, that's where they're staying. I don't know. I'm like, I'm like, guys, I'm about to say something important about the Hill and the Resorts World. I've got nothing to say about it. It's just that's what they are.

And they're the Sats, Sats, Sats, Sats, Sats. Oh, you know what I have to say about it. It's just that's what they are. And they're the shot shot thing. Oh, you know what I have to say? It is kind of funny. You can tell which shows are the premium shows on Bravo, like the ones that Bravo puts money into and the ones that are second tier. And I'm not saying that in terms of quality, a lot of people feel like marriage medicine

is actually the best show on Bravo. But in terms of what you can see what Bravo thinks is their tier one shows. And this is definitely the tier two show because they are at this like random Hilton. They're like not even at like, you know, like the ween or the Bellagio or Cesar's they're like at like Vegas Hilton. And then the Sprinter bus when it shows up in the parking lot, it's like license plate is dangling off. It's front bumper is like it's crooked It's like it literally it's it really is like that that that truck that them up It's get on and they're great muppet the caper to get to their hotel I'm not bravo. It's like uh

We're gonna get some cost for marriage in medicine. I'll put them on that thing Welcome to the Milton where you can get snacks all night long from the vending machines In the fly it Welcome to fly-it. So they do cheers and a lot of wooing. There's a lot of wooing, okay? And Troy is like, here's the cheers to learn to get a lot about our fed chips. And they're like, woo, whatever that meant, woo! Yes, seriously, what did that mean?

How do you guys not know even more about your, it's been like 10 years if you guys are finding out about your friendships? And they all get drinks from the bar, first thing, and take them up to the room, and Contessa stays back and she tells the bartender, this is going to be one hell of a trip. He's like, get out of here, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. Oh my god, learn there were them of shots. Fuck outta here. You think you're the first group of ladies that have come

into this hotel? Actually, you are. This is the Hilton. It's not, it's not Caesar's. It is the Hilton of the North Ripper behind Circus. So actually, you guys are the first group. So Jackie gets the presidential suite. And there's a buffet set up for everybody.

And Simone just keeps saying golden girls. She's like, yeah, the golden girls. We did this shit. And of course, also the joke is on heavenly because, you know, Jackie made it sound like she's doing heavenly affair because heavenly gets her own room. She doesn't have to share her room, but what she didn't tell Heavenly is that her room is an enormous suite with two bedrooms in it, and an all-like, living room and panoramic view. So Heavenly, of course, is not happy. She's like, that's fucked up.

Wait a minute, you guys are in that room, and I'm in another room? She's like, she can stay here if she wants, within Air Mantras. It's time to be in another room. I'm just like, she can stay here if she wants, within air mattress. I'm being my babe. And then there's like a buffet that's set up and they're all like, there's a guy, there's like a host. Like, and here's your buffet, there's all these things.

Antoie goes, yeah, bus is brats. He's like, no. Toria, it's a buffet. It's an open buffet. You can see everything. There are four chafers. Do you see Brussels sprouts in the chafers? Then the answer is no. There are no Brussels sprouts. I wrote no. You can see the food idiot. But that's so toil. Like, but it's not Brussels sprouts. Hey, thanks for the spread. That was really

amazing. The President just sweet. There was no Brussels sproutsatsudendo, so the Alps does. So let's see, Jackie's like, well, this is the presidential suite. And have them, he's like, I've been into presidential suite at circus circus. It's not like this. Hello, all. And heavenly in the presidential suite at circus circus. Now there's an episode. I know, I wonder what the presidential suite in circus circus. Now there's an episode. I know, I wonder what the presidential suite in circus circus even looks.

I don't even know what it looks like inside circus circus. It just sort of scares me. Circus. I've been in there a couple of times, but all you can really remember is diaper smell. But it's all I remember. Yeah, so there's just like a lot of like antics

because heavenly is basically like, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna stay in this room and they're just like a lot of like antics because heavenly is basically like I'm gonna stay here I'm gonna stay in this room and they're like running around and like like laugh joking laugh like joke fighting etc jumping on beds and Heavenly's like she's like well, this is a beautiful room. I think that we should sleep in here together Simone and Simone's like we don't get along well enough to do that So I'm like, but I'm gonna hug you now. She's just like trying to go in for a hug. So then they sit down to eat.

Now Contessa, who's doing her bodybuilding diet, told us earlier, I'm gonna do it, but I'm not gonna tell everybody I'm doing it. I just don't want to be that person who's like, oh my god, my diet. You know, I'm just gonna like be quiet and just eat what I eat. So of course, first thing is fantastic. Like, wow, the mashed potatoes, they're yummy, but too much carbs. So I only had three bites. I can just, you can't help yourself when you're on a diet, right?

I think that's universal. There is no way I'm going to cut back on anything where people aren't going to hear about that shit every two seconds. It has to be declared. And you know, you know, who's probably happy with all this Jackie? No way I'm gonna cut back on anything where people aren't gonna hear about that shit every two seconds. It has to be declared. And you know who's probably happy to have all this Jackie? Jackie's like, finally,

someone eats with moderation on my trip. Like that's like Jackie's love language. I'm only gonna have three bites. Ah, I knew it was finally it. Fit is finally the new it, or fit is finally it. So then, okay, so they're having lunch. fit is finally the new it or fit is finally it so So then okay, so they're having lunch okay, they're having lunch at The arrive and they're having lunch before they go off the rooms and a Neil is like should we play never have I ever I'm like girl. It's like 2 p.m. What do you you're like it's not even it's like it's 2 p.m

You guys are having like salmon Why do you want to play Never Have I Ever Right Now? So Contessa is like, well not everyone will tell the truth about some of us are transparent and honest. And Adra is like, and some aren't. Is that what you're saying? And she's like, well, some people in this room are not transparent, honest. And they'll say whatever it takes to make their image look good.

I can't wait to ask why are you coming on so hot and heavy like over non-brussel sprouts? I can't even save us for the evening at least but so she's coming on heavy and then I have in lia's like um she's like well she goes she goes I'm a child of God and I feel really bad and I'm gonna take my time and find the right time and place to approach this bitch because I read- I- Yeah. Hahaha. Because I really don't understand what's going on.

So I could just just like, okay, so let's play and never have I ever, okay? Like, oh wow, wait a set the tone. Okay, and Jackie's like, never have I ever had a trip where my friends don't fight. But then she doesn't drink. I was like, not Jackie. So then, uh, Torya's like, okay, well, we're all drinking. So don't you think we should make Jackie drink too? And Audra's like, she is drinking her drink. Yeah, but that's just ginger beer. And Audra's like, so she doesn't drink. Torya goes, for while we always making special privileges for you, Jackie. It's like the worst logic of all time.

And so, and then, and Andres, like, she's like special privilege, she's choosing not to drink. And Tory is like, I'm sorry, you are not a good attorney. I'm like, it doesn't take a good attorney to argue.

That's too bad, because you need one. But the search goes on, I guess. I know, but what was funny is that there was a commercial break. I mean, they came back, they kind of showed this again, but when they replayed it, they showed a little bit more dialogue. And when Toya said, why are we always making special privileges for you? Jackie says very quietly. She goes, I'm like that.

It's just like, that's just what I, because I get special privileges. So someone's like, damn heavenly, this is not the OJ trial. Jackie is not trying on the glove. Yeah, she's like, she's like, Audra is not Johnny Cochran. So she's like, yeah, you're a bad lawyer. And Audra's like, I'm a good lawyer. I'm a very good lawyer.

And turning goes, well, I would like to see that right now. Okay, good on. So silly. Like a legal brief or something. What is talking about? So when he was like, okay, okay, let's just start the game guys.

Okay, I have kids at home not being raised by anybody. So, Quads like, welcome to never have, you know, she does her big like, welcome to the game. So, Simone's like, okay, never have I ever beat my kids ass. I ever beat my kids ass. It's like okay. And they're all like, actually only two of them were like, yeah, I certainly did. The rest were like, and then- You know what I mean, just like,

I let that shit out, like done it. So then Anila's like, never have I ever had a threesome. And I forget what the results were, but Contasya says she hasn't had a threesome and I forget what the results were, but Contessa says she hasn't had a threesome and Quad is like, she's like, I don't believe that at all. She's like, I'm gonna say that. I've never won a wig. That's like one of my little dogs saying,

I never have I ever been orange and green and purple and moe and aqua. That offense rests. So that's the most like wait a minute, can't you say, where are you drinking? And heavenly saying, cause the bitch is lying. So then the next one is like, never have I ever done a 69,

which I feel like seems pretty basic but Jackie has never done a 69 and everyone's like I can't believe you haven't done that Jackie But then they start to realize like actually Curtis is really tall Maybe like a 67 a 166667 So then quad goes never have I ever had bad credit. And contestants like, okay, well I did because when I was in college, one time I thought someone stole my car and it turns out it was repossessed. And like, I didn't realize that you had to pay your car.

I'm like, I'm in college. Not what you want to hear from a doctor. Don't you doctor, everybody. I did you know. So then, uh, never have I ever cheated on a boyfriend. So quad actually drinks to it. And he's just like, he had it, he had it coming to him. He had it coming. He had it coming. Oh, the log. Did I get the lyrics right? I think coming. He audit coming. He audit coming. All along.

Did I get the lyrics right? I think I got it wrong. Uh-huh. I committed them to memory for the crappy ism and now I've forgotten the lyrics. And if you'd been there, if you'd have seen it, I'll bet you you would have done the same thing.

Thank you. Thank you. I was like, I feel very quickly like I'm going to mess this up. So I'm just going to stop all that running to go. So then they start talking about dick picks or something. And Contessa's like, yeah, you know, sexting. That's what people do now. It's sexting now.

And she's like, guys, I sent dick picks, but like what woman sense of a giant of dick pick? Like, why do they do that? And Jackie's like, oh, I sent dick pics, but what woman's sense of vagina dick pic? Like, why do they do that? And Jackie's like, oh, I get them. And the worst is when they bring the husband's penis on a picture to show him. She's talking about work, right? Yeah.

So she's like, of course, of course, the OBGYN is gonna see some vagina pics, you know? Jackie just doesn't get it at all. So, someone's like, I hate dickpigs. I've had so many sent to me in my DMs. Why? Why do you have to? You will never. Never get close to me.

So, then contest is like, well, I get dick picks all the time. Women and men proposition me. So. Yeah. We're like, oh, okay. So then Jack, he's like, everyone go to your rooms. And they're like, wow, this is like the first time ever that we've had fun.

Let's keep this energy going. And I don't worry. Contessa will be there to suck all the juice out of that fun. Any second now. Yeah, watch her. They're going to go to be phased like, I'm sorry, I can't any of this. Sorry, guys, do you guys have egg whites? By chance, you can get them anywhere. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us today. Yeah, we appreciate it. And we will be back with more recaps tomorrow and the day after,

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