Watch What Crappens - More OC Reunion, More NYC in London...

Episode Date: July 20, 2012

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Hey, everybody. Welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast dedicated to all that crap that you and we love on Bravo. I'm Matt Whitfield from Yahoo TV and joining me as always are my two trusty sidekicks, Ronnie Karam from TVgasm and Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog. Say hello boys. Hello everybody. We have so much to discuss tonight. This is our 26th episode. Thank you all for tuning in. Before we get started with the Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Part 2 and the latest episodes of Jersey and New York,

we have to mention our Twitter handles and give props to our friends over at the Sideshow Network for putting this together. First and foremost, you guys should definitely go to iTunes and download this podcast and all of our past episodes. And when you're on Twitter, you should follow our show at What Crappens. You should follow me at

Life on the M-List and at Yahoo TV. Follow Ben at B-Side Blog. Follow Ronnie at TVgasm. And don't forget to like us on Facebook because we have a new page where you can interact with us yes you know i'm so glad i'm so glad that in our last episode when we interviewed jill zaron we decided not to mention any of that i know one day and i've had so much caffeine and iced coffee that i'm bouncing off the wall so i am bouncing we have knocked all of that out, but again,

as Ben just mentioned, we did tape an episode earlier today. I don't know if any of you remember the very special episode of Growing Pains where Tracy Gold's boyfriend died, but our very special episode... Wait, someone died in our podcast? ...was earlier today. We had Jules Zarin on, former

Real Housewife of New York City, and it's an amazing episode. That is also currently live on iTunes right now. Check it out. It's a long one. We barely get a word in edgewise, but it's Jill, so we let her off the hook. Yes. Oh, yeah. She talks, man. She knows how to talk, and you know what? She's

listening right now, and we can't say anything bad because she made us swear on our generations of children. She cannot hear us right now because she's saying, damn it, I told them to be nice. They're talking shit about me already. She's talking. She's going to be so mad at us.

How good of a sport was she? She was a good sport. She talked some shit, man. She's good. She cleared some things up. She gave us some gossip. She rolled with the punches you know that's that's all that we ask for that's all we want well jill is one of those kinds of people that i love to be friends with because she says so much shit that she should

not be saying and then she doesn't understand why everybody's pissed off at her you know she's like could you believe that could you believe it was the editing what did you think a lot they left me in europe it's like jill girl you just said so many nasty things about andy and bethany without even taking a breath and you're like why why am i not oh she's gonna she's gonna come back on and she's gonna fight you she's gonna fight you kind of funny because we called jill in and we didn't tape it the way we normally tape it but ben ronnie and i could see each other i guess but i wasn't really paying attention but we couldn't see it the way we normally tape it, but Ben, Ronnie, and I could see each other, I guess, but I wasn't really paying attention. But we couldn't see Jill, and Jill couldn't see us,

and she just kept rambling and rambling and rambling, and at some point I was like, oh my god, this woman is talking so much shit about people, it's out of control. But it wasn't really nasty. I didn't think it was crazy nasty shit. It wasn't nasty, but I was like, oh, she delivered the goods tonight. Yeah, it was more like, it wasn't that nasty. I didn't think it was like crazy nasty shit. It wasn't nasty, but I was like, she delivered the goods tonight.

Yeah, it was more like, it wasn't that she was talking shit. It was more like she wasn't pulling any punches necessarily. That's what I liked. We will be hard-pressed to find another celebrity, a Bravo Leopardy guest that will dish as much as Jill, and on that topic,

anybody else, who would you die to have as our guest? Brandy Glanville. Oh, God. You know she'd be awesome. She would be fantastic. She'd be guaranteed to be, like, four bottles in, right? She would make Jill seem like the Dowager Countess on Downton Abbey.

Like, be like, I would never say that. Because Jill definitely was, like, she was awesome. She totally, like, she did not, like, she didn't hold back. She was unfiltered. But Brandy, oh, man, you know, she'd be unfiltered and then some. You know, she would just be talking shit. Ronnie, is she your dream guest as well?

She wasn't my original thought, but now that it's said, I'm down with that. I would probably say Lisa, but probably, maybe not. She might be a little too filtered. Lisa Wu Hartwell or Lisa Vanderpump? Oh, Vanderpump. Although, you know, still talk some shit. Could you imagine if Ronnie's ideal candidate was Lisa Wu Hartwell? Gosh, if only.

My favorite would be Sharae. I would like Sharae. I love Sharae. The right amount of bitterness to make it work. Yeah. And she really also can't string a proper sentence together. So it would make for a great podcast. Well, you know what?

Sharae would be like funny at first and like all she'd be like demure and everything. But as it warms up and she gets into it, as we fire her up, oh, man, she would then she would go crazy. it as we fire her up, oh man, she would then, she would go crazy. Will the two of you do me a favor and reenact Sheree's incident from her Africa trip with Marlo right now? Because I just love it every time. I think it's something like That will be our first impression of the evening.

There will be many more to come because at this point, I can't live without a Carol Radzowil. Don't do it yet. Don't do it yet. Stop! Stop! You have to wait until we get to New York. It is my favorite part of the show. Okay. Oh my god.

By the way, I would like to say this right at the top of the show. I actually really like Carol and think she's funny and she's smart and she's accomplished and we just rail on her for no good reason except that we're bored. We're all going for Halloween as Carol Radziwill. No, I'm going as

Suze Orman. Oh, that's right. I forgot. Oh, how dare I? Okay, anyway, before we get to New York and before we get to Jersey, we do have to start with the Real Housewives of Orange County. It was the reunion. Yes. Part two. This season has been off the Real Housewives of Orange County. It was the reunion. Yes. Part two. This season has been off the fucking chain, in my opinion. I know Ronnie has a different take on the whole thing.

He thinks it's pure shit. I will preface it by saying I do not like any of the women on the show, but goddamn, did I love this season? Yes. I didn't love the season, but I liked the season. I was happy with it. Man, by the way, this second part of the reunion, wow. Well, we're going to get into that second, though, because, Ronnie, you pulled up some awesome gossip just now, two seconds ago, right? Oh, yeah.

Well, first I'd like to clarify that, yes, I think that Real Housewives of Orange County kind of blows. But I've really enjoyed it the past few weeks when they've kind of marinated in their horribleness. You know, it's like these women realize that they're getting boring towards the end and they try and save their jobs at the last second and they just they just go to c-word town when they get desperado nothing they don't hold anything back i mean they were the end of this reunion particularly was disgusting the things that they did to each other in the last five minutes, it's like that mystery where ten little Indians were like everybody just get off one by one. Oh, I know. I needed a Silkwood shower. It was borderline like a Tennessee Williams, Edward Albee play, like, you know, where like the deep shit comes out at the end.

You're like, oh, that's the secret that's been underlying all of this all the time but with way worse english i mean even vicky i was like vicky i mean really come on one proper word one proper the only person with half a brain on the show brianna oh my god too smart for that shit and i love that where vicky's like shut up brianna i know mom i'm sorry then shut up okay we'll get we. Do the gossip. Tell us the gossip. Tell us gossip. I'm the worst. You give me a lead in and I just start talking about it. I'm like, cereal.

I love cereal. All right. Let me see here. So this is Jim Bellino. I'm reading Stupid Housewives. I love this lady. She cracks me up. And she's always got really good gossip on here.

And today she's talking about Jimim bellino scammer pro banned from ebay authentication business shutdown feds gave jimbo one year probation jimbo's craigslist ad creative financing how bellino's got on rhoc so which do you want to know about because that's a lot of stories you just said a lot of stuff and i don't know what any of it meant except for craigslist not that that says anything about me and my personal life it does i have not pre-read this um but i would love to know how they got on um orange i would love to know how they got on the show and that was one thing i wanted to ask zarin as well was what the audition process was like but goddamn if i don't know a lot about her damn dog now i'm sorry i kept asking about ginger i just went on a if I don't know a lot about her damn dog now. I'm sorry I kept asking about Ginger.

I just went on a tangent. I don't know what happened to me. You were having a moment with Jill Zarin, Matt. You were in love with her. Jill Zarin is willing to come back any week, any time we want. So we will get more out of Jill about the casting process, but where in those notes on Jim Bellino was there

something about the trampoline part? Because that's all I care about. Well, I didn't find that, but you did say Craigslist, so I found that. While looking for Jim Bolino's pawn shop and or loans, SH found an ad written all in caps that he placed for his financial services on Craigslist in February 2010, in which Jimbo states that he's using his own money. No games. This is my private money. If you have collateral, just email your scenario, and I will email back terms. That simple. California real estate, another collateral.

See below. No credit scores. No job. I don't care. I care about the asset. Real estate business. One. Diamonds.

Jewelry. Watches. Gold. Two. Autos. Motorcycles. Three. Handbag collection.

Four. Five. And it just goes on and on. Minimum. $10,000 loans. No credit check. Oh, my God. Of course. Can this sound any more shy,10,000 loans. No credit check. Oh, my God. Could this sound any more shyster?

And with a faux hawk. Oh, no. And his chin, his reduced-sized chin. And his Ed Hardy, like, Florida Lee-assed jeans. Oh, my God. He got a bigger chin, didn't he? Didn't he get an implant? Yeah.

This was his, 2010 was before his, that was when he was still feeling insecure about it. I think that one of Tamara's ex-breasts is now in his face. Tamara and her ex-breast. I love that. Do you think it possesses him? Hell, most definitely. That was some of the most ridiculous backwards plastic surgery we've seen. I mean, let's get real. Orange County delivers the worst ridiculous backwards plastic surgery we've seen. I mean, let's get real.

Orange County delivers the worst in the plastic surgery department. And you would think that that's like the capital of it. Yeah, but it's also the trash of the poorest people trying to be rich. So everything that Ross Dress for Less does really well there. Two things. One, I go to Ross Dress for Less. Two, in terms of bad plastic surgery. We're poor. That's true but in terms of uh bad plastic surgery nothing could get any worse than danielle staub going to

the mini mall in jersey to get her shit done okay that is that is the nadir of plastic surgery right there with one light like flickering on the on the marquee you know i won't fight you on that and i will also say when you bring up danielle it does make me realize that her house was even worse, in worse condition than Sonia Morgan's. But then again, that was Hurricane Irene. Hurricane Irene, yes. Sonia was singled out by the weather there, okay? That's true. But we'll get to Sonia in a bit.

So I guess let's get right into this reunion then, huh? Okay. Well, the first thing that Andy brought up because we can't beat this horse to death anymore is more of the – there was clearly leftover tension between Heather and Alexis. And the tension ran deep and then it kind of shifted over to Gretchen and Alexis' relationship and their friendship and how that fell apart. Do you think that Gretchen and Alexis can ever mend fences? Like what status of that is? I think they can mend fences because this was not a terribly deep thing. I mean, it wasn't, this wasn't not like a,

this were not like super mean accusations. This was just like a fight. I personally thought that their argument over Fox five news was one of the funniest things you've ever seen on a reunion show. Like, all that was missing was Judge Judy to take in all this evidence, you know, these emails that were, like,

being whipped out. When Gretchen pulled the paperwork from behind the pillow, I felt I, like, learned who shot J.R. Yeah, it was like Exhibit A. Like, it was the most compelling court case I had ever seen. It was, like, all, like...

But even before she whipped out the emails and they're talking about like, well, I was talking to, you know, whatever the, whoever the producer was, Tracy. I was talking to Tracy and she didn't like you. No, she didn't like you. No. Well, she told me this. It's like, these girls are so stupid and they're arguing over this stupid ass assignment. And what an asshole that producer is. Because you know that they were kind of both telling the truth.

Of course. She was probably shit-talking both of them just so she could have someone to gossip with about the other one, you know? Yeah, Vicky didn't pipe up because they probably offered it to her too. But, you know, they probably offered it to everybody. Yeah, you know what? And you know what? Actually, that producer's probably getting a promotion because look at the prime amount of televised real estate that stupid fox 5 has been getting on bravo because of this these shenanigans very true very true well

if you guys go to bravo tv.com you can check out some of the deleted scenes from the reunion which were really good there was one with slade fighting with alexis oh what with alexis yes wow oh because Alexis. Oh, what? Alexis? Yes. Wow. Oh, because... And Andy brings up the big Jim the Chin Bellino talking about how you know, the man should take care of the woman and the housewife's men should take care of their women and not the other

way around. And he says, so, do you think that was directed at you? And Slade's like, uh, yeah. It came out the same night that it was talked about on the show. And Alexisis is like i don't think that that's about you and he's like uh alexis it came out the same night of the show well that doesn't mean anything and jim has a right to have a blog and he has opinions and i don't even know what they all are and maybe his opinions are his opinions and i don't know what they do he thinks a lot of stuff and he writes it down okay slade

and slade's like what you know okay but can we she's an idiot she's an idiot but i am glad that bravo didn't give i'm glad that slade didn't get any airtime i'm tired of that shit yeah i'm tired of slade this fucking dirty ass t-shirt it's like god i know come on make an effort dude you know alexis you know she she was lively you know, it is really funny when she gets busted, because, I think we've mentioned this before, she really gets this look on her face like she just stepped in a big pile of poop, you know? Like, at the

end of this whole Fox 5 thing, and Tamara just goes, are you still working there? And she's like, uh, no. That look. She didn't even say no, she just, like, licked her lips. She did lick it. She licked it up. She didn't know what no she just like licked her lips she did lick it she looked at her eyes she didn't know what to say and that whole email thing gretchen's like but i have the emails and lexus is like is somebody getting my email right you know last episode it's like how evil is she

to the crew and then she's snapping her fingers like bring me my goddamn email i know and like and you know that like she just like the emails are just probably from like jim like jim just wrote her emails and said like dear alexis this is your producer and of course she's like oh it's coming from jim's email but says the producer oh the producer must have been on jim's email by accident and then and gretchen reads emails that had like legit sentences and the one from alexis was like we don't want that yeah and it was so vague what it was what it was we don't want that it was a shitty copy only wanted me and they always only wanted me and he's like it says that no one else is going to be on the show except for you yeah it's just like yeah and alexis is projecting all this stuff like no it says that they hate

gretchen and they don't want to see her again. And they hope she drives off with a cliff outside of Heather's estate. I know. What kind of makeup is that anyway, says this email. And you know how much I hate Tamara. I mean, there's nobody in the entire Bravo celebrity universe that I hate more than Tamara. But she kind of snatched Andy's balls right there when she was starting to ask the good questions. Do you still work there?

Yeah. Genius. You know what I loved? There was one moment. I don't remember what it was. But someone on the Vicky couch said something that made them look dumb. And then Bravo just cut to Tamara and Gretchen. And they just quietly just looked at each other.

They're like, look at that bitch. Look at that bitch over there on that other couch. They just looked at each other like this're like look at that bitch look at that bitch over there on that other couch you just look at each other like this most evil cunning look of a of allegiance and then they look back at the other couch and it was so vile and cold yeah it was just like it was like two seconds max and i thought it was amazing amazing chris manzo had a really i was reading the twitter today and chris manzo had a really funny tweet where he said, I'm watching Real Housewives of Orange County, and if you just glance at the TV real quick, it looks like the same lady in a different dress. Which is so true.

Well, they're besties now. Well, I think he meant the entire cast. You just kind of glance up there at one time. And why does that coffee table look like a big pork chop? Did anybody notice that? With the weird balls on the bottom? I didn't notice that. Yeah, it looked like a pork chop from the Flintstones.

I don't know why I'm thinking about that right now. I didn't notice that. I was just thinking, why do they always have these reunions in giant cavernous spaces? I mean, it just seems cold. This one looked a little budget more than usual. This one looked like it was actually on the soundstage, because normally they say, we're here at the scenic restaurant or whatever,

and they didn't say anything, so. Well, that's true. It had to be somewhere, because there was a goddamn bird in there. I mean, where would they be? A soundstage. They were probably in the Portage County, like, there's birds on a soundstage? Yeah, I think they, like, roost up in the rafters or something. I think an angry intern released one and knew that, like, Andy was scared of birds or something. But anyway, before we get into, you know, this episode was so focused on Vicky and Brooks and Brianna.

Let's just quickly address your favorite topic, guys. Bo-Gate was brought up by Andy. Oh, yeah. Brought up by Andy. Oh, yeah. And he asked Heather straight up if she had overreacted with the whole situation at her five-year or not, whatever her party was, her naming ceremony. So is Bogate put to rest or are we going to have to deal with this for the rest of time? Not for me. I've joined the community center against cake rape.

Take back the night. Take back the fondant. Take back the fondant. Take back the fondant. I love it. Yesterday was actually my mom's birthday, and so she had a big beautiful cake that someone got her, and I almost stuck my finger and took part of the delicious Italian wedding

icing off, and I thought, have you learned fucking nothing? Why would you do that, Ronnie? He stuck his finger in my cake and ate it. Yep, those tacky bitches made me a classier bitch. So thank you, Real Housewives of Orange County. I thought Heather had a very

nice response, which was, not nice, but like her response I thought was good, which was saying yeah, I probably overreacted, but it was because she refused to apologize. It was so crazy, it got me riled up, you know? I would get mad too, honestly, if I had an idiot, a drunk idiot like that, you know, like Ronnie, who would come and break off a bow, I would be like, what the fuck? You weren't even invited. And I would totally be the Vicky who, like, was gawking in the background and stirring it even bigger.

Yeah, well, Andy seemed like he smiled and kind of laughed at her answer, but he did not seem very happy. I think she should be a little more dramatic, although she did tell off Alexis, so that was fun. Well, okay. Last week or when we taped one of our previous episodes, I was team Alexis, and you guys gave me fucking hell for it. And I expect that again right now. I think that these women beat the shit out of her on part two isn't it great heather heather was delivering these lines like why would you even get into a fight if you know you're a moron and just horrible nasty shit so like i mean everything makes a good point i just don't like

her delivery oh well that's true well why just because she's like articulate and you know unlike me i'm like articulate and you know that's members i want you know charades yeah i want i want funny when he said you're not gonna fight is it true that you only fight with alexis because you know you can win she's like no one wants to fight if you know you're gonna lose no because it's true was because it's like alex like, I don't get it. A baby. It was so fucking mean. But at the same time, you know, you shouldn't

steal candy from babies, but they don't fucking understand how to properly enjoy candy anyway. Take it, fucking babies. By the way, you know what, Alexis, she may be dumb, but she's not a baby, and she's a grown-ass woman who got on this show. And she's in a stupid marriage, in a stupid life, saying stupid things.

So, you know what? She deserves a little bit of grief. And all she talks about is her fake Jesus-y bullshit and her cars. And she's righteous. And she always has to have a different Rolls Royce in every show. Fuck them. Excuse me. She talks all that shit.

Yes, I will admit that. But then they cut to a package about that fucking gerbil face, Heather, going on about like, oh, well, we're going to take the private helicopter to. But that's because she has. Well, she has a private helicopter that she's like, how many square feet is your house? Nobody who has any fucking class will say fourteen thousand nine hundred and thirty two point five square feet. And then we're adding an addition in addition to the sports court. Like, fuck you, bitch. Oh, yeah. I think the difference— Well, that's not including the garages and the luge.

What's a luge? Yeah. I thought she said loge or the lodges or something like that. A loge. It would be great if she added a luge, though. Man, I would love that. There's a luge. Yeah, a luge.

Isn't that like an Olympic sport? Yeah, it's like a sled. I would love to see her do the tandem luge with Gretchen. Well, I would love that. There's a luge. Yeah, luge. Isn't that like an Olympic sport? Yeah, it's like a sled. I would love to see her do the tandem luge with Gretchen. Well, here's the thing. The reason I'm liking Heather is because Heather is white trash who married a homely rich guy. Like, let's not, let's not

lead ourselves to believe that Heather is actually worth a shit either. She was some two-bit actress in the early 90s. Please don't malign her acting career. Please don't. Oh my god. Have you looked her up? I looked her up to make some jokes. You've known her for 20 seconds. I looked her up on NBB so I could make a couple jokes about her.

She's been on Married with Children and some Jenny McCarthy show. I mean, give me a break. She was also on a show called That's Life. Oh, well, she was doing, in the deleted scenes on The Reunion, there was doing, in the deleted scenes on the reunion, there was a scene about housewives acting, and they showed, they didn't show Alexis,

but they mentioned that she was on General Hospital, and then they showed Gretchen on this Telemundo show that she was on. What? The Spanish soap opera. Shut up. And she is playing the head of a makeup company who is also a party girl or something ridiculous. And she's, you know, it's just terrible acting.

Is she speaking Espanol? No, it's in English for some reason. It's like the English Telemundo, which I don't know. Maybe a Mexican can call in if I say it in Spanish English. I don't know if it's Spanglish. I don't know what it is. We have less viewers than we have listening to this podcast. But anyway, Andy's like, so, Heather, what do you think about the acting of the other housewives?

And she's like, you know, I just have to say that I'm a different kind of actress. Soap opera acting is very different than what I do. I hate her. I love her. I will say that good for them because this show affords you opportunities and good for them for taking the opportunities. And the best part was Alexis was smiling at this like

she was getting complimented by Angelina Jolie. It was hilarious. Oh my god. You know what? Every time I want to, you know to take Alexis' side in this fight, you remind me of something like that. And I just think this woman just needs to go away. Yeah. Yeah. She's like one of the whammies on Press Your Left.

You just have to hit them. R.I.P. R.I.P. Peter Tamarkin. Oh, yeah. Too soon. Too soon. Way.P. Peter Tamarkin. Too soon. Too soon. Way too soon.

Do you guys think that she's a goner? Because halfway through this episode, it looked like she threw in the towel and was just sitting there and licking her luscious lips. And I honestly think she's done. I don't think so. We've asked this question the past five weeks in a row. I still think that she's coming back. I also get the vibe that Andy doesn't like Heather. So I think that those are the only two that are in jeopardy.

I don't think he likes Heather either. I don't think he likes her snotty little answers, and she doesn't really fit in with the other girls, but I think it might be too soon to fire her. You know, I think the thing is with Heather is, say what you will, she's a little media, she's sort of media savvy or media trained or whatever. So he may want a little bit more of sort of like a – like more of an unfiltered reaction from her. Well, I actually don't think that he wants that at all. I think the more blonde dummies you get up in the mix, the better.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. He wants – I think that's what Ben is saying is that Andy probably wants more trashy ass. Well, you know, here's something that is a little off the subject, but something that Zarin brought up earlier was about, oh, I said Zarin, and all of a sudden I started thinking about Ginger and the daughter coming in and the nightgown with no bra.

And the is he a gay boyfriend or not because he went to Sarah Prince? Oh, that was not on the podcast. Matt brought up how he hates misadvised and all these dating shows and zarin was saying oh well those are his you know misadvised as andy's show meaning that andy created the show it's one of the shows that he created or whatever and i started thinking about it and i thought well what has andy created because he didn't create the housewives that was created by other people before he was really big there, right? Yeah.

I don't know. And he didn't create Top Chef because that was created before. So what has he really created? I mean, he's created spinoffs. Watch what happens is what he's created. That's it. And that's a hit. I mean, listen, that show is...

No, it's a hit. It scores over a million viewers every single night that it's on, and it's on that many times a week. So, I mean, he does – Wonky-eyed alcoholic gay guys have been sitting around their living room talking shit about old women for centuries. Don't tell me he invented that. He did not invent that. He just got some ladies that he works with to build him a clubhouse. A little clubhouse well now um speaking of clubhouses um can we talk

about the one that brooks is living in which is called the vicky gomelson clubhouse aka her vagina that's why brianna never sees him because he's like rolled up he's got like a little bunk bed in there with like a little little flashlight and his reading ghost stories are sitting on a night on a nightside table telling ghost stories to friends inside her vagina roasting marshmallows okay so speaking of uh living quarters who knew that brianna and her new husband are living now in vicky's house even though there's a major rift between the mother and the daughter don is still there and brooks apparently you know,

stays in a hotel when he comes to town. Brooks seems skittish. He seems very afraid of being around Brianna, because Brianna calls it like it is. Brianna has been through major surgery. Her throat has been slashed, and she will not hesitate to slash his throat. Yeah. He is afraid of her honesty, as she likes to say.

But do you guys think that Brooks was able to defend himself like at all do you think he was able to earn any sort of respect back or is it just still a total failure from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ramsay and i'm consciously what do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less

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and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death.

Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. I am so sorry to do this to you, but I have to say that he's got a Queer Eye credit,

a lot of top design credits, and some workout credits. Oh, you're talking about Andy Cohen. I thought you were talking about Brooks. I'm like – That's on Project Runway, actually. No, he's got – well, he's got credits on – He's got credits on –

And then it ran away to Lifetime. So let me take this time to apologize to Andy. Sorry, Andy. You're very accomplished. Okay, so now what were you guys talking about? I said – I asked – Vicky's vagina.

Yeah, I asked about Brooks. We're crawling out of Vicky's vagina. We crawled out. What your thoughts are on Brooks? Did he, like, save face? Did he fight off Tamara properly? No, no, he's white trash. But I think in Vicky's vagina, there are Tootsie Rolls,

pennies covered in tobacco, and, like, half-chewed up gum. Which makes him feel like he's at home. No, I think that he didn't at all. I think that Andy really sneakily called. See, now I like Andy because I've seen his IMDb. Do you see how I slightly switched there? Did you know that he's best friends with Sarah Jessica Parker? Well, wonky eyes of a feather.

So anyway, I think that Andy really called him out very slyly yeah saying you know vicky's always said a bunch of the stuff that she wants and you just happen to be giving it to her so did you watch the show first and study it and he's like no no you know here's how i'm an opportunist i love the opportunity to see a beaver every morning when i wake up who gets to see a beaver every morning when I wake up. Who gets to see that? I haven't built a dam. How many women do you know with square boobs? I get to feel those things every day slapping up against me. It feels like running up against a couple of cement walls,

but I'll tell you what, you can't find it near any other woman. Thank God for the opportunity. I'm an opportunist, I said it. You know, to be fair, you know, we said a few weeks ago we shared the gossip that said that, like, people at Bravo think that Brooks has been

watching old episodes and practicing lines, and that came out last night on the reunion. So watch what happens. We've been a lot of shit on this show. Have you noticed that? We've been very psychic on this show. We've called a lot of the stuff that's. Yeah, we are like... Have you noticed that? We've been very psychic on this show. We've called a lot of the stuff that's happened on this show. We have.

Like, people should listen to us more because we clearly know what's going on. And we make so many vagina jokes. We do. So many that... If we're going to talk about Vicky's vagina, I definitely think that there's like an old, dusty, foreigner 8-track. I think there's like a pile of decayed peeps in there from Easter. I was going to say it's probably like a dried out Terry Garcia

carton in there. I think there's some New York Superfudge chunk in there. Oh my god. I'm thinking maybe like an extra set of keys to a Trans Am 74. I think there's like a pinecone or something that's covered covered in cheese whiz. Pine cone covered in cheese whiz.

Where did that come from, really? When we get into these lists, I sort of go into this like zen state and words just come to me. And then I just spit them out and hope they make sense. Okay, we'll save a few for Carol when we get to New York. But back to Vicky. Yeah, I definitely think that she's a moron. And if she does think or she keeps saying that, you know, the most important people in her life are her kids. If your daughter hates your boyfriend that much that he can't even stay over in the same house

when he comes to visit, if she won't speak to him, if they can't get along at all, if Vicky is really serious about her kids being the most important, she needs to get rid of Brooks. And I have to say, as smart of a businesswoman as Vicky is, she's 50 years old, I definitely think that this is going to have to hit a nasty, nasty, serious, rough patch, and bad shit is going to have to happen to her before she comes to the realization that he has to go.

I believe they broke up, didn't they? No. On again, off i think on again off again on again off again and then how about how about that thing that brianna revealed that that um brooks outed her wedding on the radio like she hadn't like announced it yet or something like that right there should have made vicky dump his ass yeah that i like that is unacceptable that's he took the opportunity there to be an awful person yeah that's you know everything that everyone has said is totally proved right and vicky's arguing is just ridiculous

like she has no argument he has he has four kids from two women not three. Two women, one of whom he got married to. Clarify that. I'm trying to read. I'm so sorry, guys, because I keep going out, but now I'm looking up if they're still together, and it says and these fucking pop-up ads keep coming up. It's like I'm looking at porn. I'm just trying to find out about Vickie. It kind of is porn.

While you look for the porn, Ben, let's discuss this. I love me some Don. I love that Don was in the picture from the wedding. I love Don. I did not know that Don was cheating on Vicky for 20 plus years. 20 years. So that just also goes to show how much of an idiot she is because why would she stay with someone for 20 years who's been cheating on her? Unless she found out

at the 19-year mark. When this first started coming out, before the season started, I think it was a few weeks before the season started, it was coming out that Brooks, I mean not Brooks, the other one, the other guy. Don, Don, Don, Don. Don was caught

at Swingers Clubs. He was Don, Don, Don. Don was caught at swingers clubs. He was at swingers clubs. We don't mean swingers cafe on Beverly. Oh my god, he was at a diner. Spoiler alert, but I think they're probably both sluts because Vicky, do you remember when they went to Cabo?

We didn't see her fucking anybody else, but she was pretty all over people in Cabo. And they all looked like Don, by the way. They did all look like Don. She was at that swim-up bar, and she was riding those underwater stools like they were big dildos. Yes, and when she went on that trip with Brianna, I think that was last year, too. They went on some trip together, and she was all over dudes.

I think they're probably swingers, and she's playing the victim card. I don't even think it's that she's cheating on Don. I don't think anyone gives a shit about that, especially in Orange County. I think that she's with such a slimy guy who doesn't pay for his kids. Are you suggesting that all of their trips to maybe Lake Havasu where they have the lake house is really just a hot spot for swingers? I'm saying that swingers are never cute. Swingers are always Vicky and Don. And Lake Havasu, I'm pretty sure,

does not have cute people. I'm kind of offended at the insinuation that there'd be swingers at Lake Havasu, because as we all know, Lake Havasu is a place for classy people to come together and do classy things. We're going there for spring break on a pontoon boat. We're going to get a pontoon.

We're going to get a pontoon. Motorboating. Motorboating. Motorboating. Motorboating. You know that song? It's a song called Pontoon that's out right now. I'm not even joking. It's a huge hit.

I love it. I'm just laughing because I'm kind of lost. I don't know where the lake is. I don't know where the pop music is. You kids and your lakes and your music. Here's what matters. Okay, we'll just digest the past minute. There's Lake Havasu. We're going to go on a pontoon and we're gonna listen to the pontoon song on

the pontoon and we'll have footballs thrown at our faces just like vicky i was just going to say that and i will be wearing a nasty dirty cowboy hat with my bikini and there's some girl there oh i'm so sorry keep going keep going no i'm gonna say there should be some girl there named like trish who has like who looks like a piece of leather and has giant boobs and she's Oh, I'm so sorry. Keep going, keep going. I was going to say, there should be some girl there named Trish who looks like a piece of leather and has giant boobs, and she's from Phoenix, and she's coming for the weekend. Yeah, and I think that she probably has a big dolphin tattoo on her thigh. Yeah.

Man, I'm in Texas right now, y'all. Wait, are you near San Padre Island? Because that's where we could also go for spring break if need be. I would love to go to – well, Cabo San Lucas is over here, isn't it? Isn't it close to here? No, Cabo is south of L.A. Never mind. Aren't you in Austin anyway?

I don't even know where I live, you guys. Aren't you in Austin anyway? Isn't that like nowhere near Mexico? No, but I think Cabo – everyone talks about going to Cabo all the time. Cabo is two hours from LA on plane. You are literally having an Alexis Bellina moment. For you to be in the northern, the middle to the north of Texas,

to be like, isn't Cabo San Lucas around here? Like, you guys, let's go to Peru. Let's get on the freeway and drive three hours to Peru, okay? Guys, I have a very personal question to ask yes um there were a couple times i was playing doodle jump while we were talking to jill on the phone yeah i kind of saw you not paying attention well it was too much but did

you guys see me scratching my balls because i did it like three times um yeah you kind of did this thing and i didn't want to bring it up but i definitely saw you started laying on your stomach and then you like rolled to your back and i then you, like, rolled to your back, and I think you were wearing, like, a printed pajama pant, and then I saw you go for the crotch. Oh, no. Okay, now I know you didn't see anything. Yeah, I didn't see any of that. Were you not wearing PJ pants? No, I'm wearing shorts.

Okay. I just wanted to make sure that my... Matt, you must have been looking at a different window on your computer at that time. Oh, hush. I'm an angel. You your computer at that time. Oh, hush. I'm an angel. You were looking at that bear. Bear. Bear bears.

Yes. Bear bears. This is not my scene, so if any of you viewers are bears, I don't want you. He wants. Hey, how rude. Way to make me feel ugly. Let's talk about Vicky some more. Yeah, wait.

Let's talk about the bombshells. And by the way, we have to start wrapping up the OC thing because we have two other shows that we haven't even started talking about. Those shows are stupid. They are stupid. Actually, no, we did talk about the bombshells. Let's see. We need to talk about Vicky talking under her breath

to Brianna to shut the fuck up because she was revealing too many personal secrets. That was great. And then there was Tamara who... This was sort of funny to me because Vicky makes this comment about how Tamra was dating Eddie while she was still legally married to Simon. And Tamra gets all mad and all huffy. And she's like, what the fuck? She's like, well, I mean, I was separated.

It's like, yeah, that's what Vicky was saying. You know, like, that's all. And so then, of course, Tam Tamara, she smells blood in the water, so her retaliation just goes so nasty and be like, well, let's talk about the guy you woke up with next to in Cabo that wasn't on the TV show. Oh my god, that was she is out. It was gross.

It was so gross. Every reunion, Tamara pulls out some super thing. Okay. And then she acts. And then she makes... Swear on your unborn grandchild's life tamra the only people that say that kind of shit are fucking devil worshiping bitches like you or people on big brother but the thing is but the thing is i love that then later at the at the end

of the episode wasn't she saying things but like like you know i don't know some real like below the belt things have been said i don't know if I could be friends with Vicky anymore. It's like, to be honest, Vicky didn't really go that far below the belt with Tamara. Tamara was the one who was like, she was like, I'm punching you in the nuts, and then I'm going to take your nuts, I'm going to step on them, and then put them in a blender. That's how low and hard she is. And yes, I do believe that Vicky might have some nuts. Possibly. Or had hat she might still have phantom nuts they're in her boobs now oh my god disgusting anyway um does anybody hate tamra as

much as me because i don't think it's possible uh no but you know what though if she comes on watch what crap ends what are you gonna do i'm gonna be on vacation that week because there will be no way that i could hold back calling her a fucking evil monster oh well you'll be like we love you yeah you'll be like we love you we miss you so much we love you we love you tamra tamra bonnet i mean no i think that everybody needs i think that everybody needs somebody nice i was just shocked that it was you at the end of the day. I thought it was going to be Ben who was the nice one. You're like, oh my God, Jill, you want to go to the Golden Corral together?

I'm totally going to go buy her a Diet Coke and I'm going to pop in. You're like, Jill, we loved you the most out of all the housewives in all TV history. Oh, Matt, I give you shit, but I have to say I miss you when you're not here, and my friend Waffle Boy is always mad when you're not here, and he's like, that show's just not right without Matt clutching his pearls. Well, all three of us play a different role in our dynamic. Ben, stop talking.

Who's Waffle Boy, Ronnie? I think he's cute. I don't know if he's cute. I've never met him in real life, but I've known him for years, and in my mind, he's extremely good-looking. How old is he? Is he a waffle? Is he a waffle? He's actually a waffle.

I can't eat carbs, so I can't have that. You always want what you can't have. You're going to be so in love, Matt. By the way, I would love it, Matt, if you started dating a waffle. Okay? That would be my favorite thing ever. If you guys had little pictures together, you and a waffle, that would be great.

I'd probably get farther with a waffle than the people on OkCupid. They're kind of the same thing. You would know from experience. Anyway, were there any other bombshells besides Tamara is the nastiest bitch on the face of the earth and she and Vicky clearly won't...

Vicky will never let Tamara off the hook for this. no more bombshells let's go to new york city we're running out of time i feel like there were more there were more but we've been talking for 45 minutes and we have two other shows to talk about i'm regulating right now here's about new york ben but we have to talk about new york because we always have so much fun when we talk about new york okay fine. Here is my New York bullet number one. Sonia sticks her face in a bidet full of ice to put the puffiness down. Does she

have a toilet fetish? Because last season, she was fisting her toilet when she lost her Blackberry. I think that, like, she's going to claim that her face in the bidet, she's going to claim that that was, like, Hurricane Irene. She's like, well, I was in London, and Hurricane Irene struck again, and I had all this cold water on my face. I couldn't believe it. Honestly, I think that she's going to claim that that was like Hurricane Irene. She's like, well, I was in London and Hurricane Irene struck again and I had all this cold water on my face. I couldn't believe it.

Honestly, I think that she's going to try to design her own line of facial bidets. I... And you know what? I would buy it before the toaster oven. I am so intrigued by this toaster oven. At this point, I'm expecting it to have some sort of like crazy laser functionality,

weird bells and whistles and I feel like you could maybe like create pottery in it or something. I'm just going to say my Garnier Fructis rollerball for under my eyes is not working. I'm going to go stick my head in a bidet the next time I'm at a fancy hotel. And then you should get your hair dried in her toaster oven or something. Why not? Why not? Sonia, this is an interesting episode for Sonia because she planned this party for Aviva in this thing called the Empire Room, which I guess is supposed to have some sort of prestige. But to me, it looked like a lobby of an office building. And it was.

Yeah, it had a big red exit sign hanging from the ceiling, which just took all the class out of it. Yeah, it just seemed like a very, like, it was bright. It didn't seem intimate. It was sort of ugly. It was just mundane. And then on top of that, Sonia, you know, in her big party planning debut, she books this musical group with a singer named Cara Queechie. Oh, my God. I forgot.

Cara Queechie. Is anyone else going kara queechie is anyone else gonna go up buy her album because i know i've already got it on amazon i've already i've already said one click shop i want kara queechie i want her she came out and she sang a song she didn't hit any notes whatsoever and she's i don't even remember what the song was about because the lyrics like were just sort of mundane they're just sort of like dare i say the countess would have been a better option for the performance i thought the exact same thing i was like this is one of the few times when the countess just roll out uh chic c'est la vie one more fucking time why not oh and by the way carol radswell had a great one of she had many like digs at the countess but one of her great ones was about like

the countess and her writing she's like she's she's not she's not an author why is she writing she you know she's she sings carol is the okay i like carol but carol is the biggest bitch in those confessionals oh she's great that's i like that no i do too she's a total bitch um we can talk about aviva falling down the stairs i always okay i love slapstick we have to talk about Aviva falling down the stairs. I love slapstick. We have to talk about that. Now, she apparently, you know, when she was walking off the stage and down those little stairs, apparently it was with her foot that is not fake. It's the one that rolled over. So should she just cut off her other real leg and just go with two prosthetics? That's my question. I think she would be more graceful if she just had no legs whatsoever.

Yeah, why doesn't she just put shoes on her knees? I like the way Bravo edited, the way she fell down. They made it sound like she fell into the Grand Canyon. There was dramatic music and they cut away the commercial. They're like, oh my god. And all it was is that she just sort of swooped around onto the banister. I mean, don't get me wrong, it was funny. But it wasn't

like the craziest thing of all time. Okay, the craziest thing of the entire party was not the fall. It was the continuing fight between Heather and Ramona. And I will have to say that I'm starting to hate Ramona more than I ever have before. And even though Heather has Joker face and Joker mouth, I

loved that she was like a Pac-Man going after pellets, chasing Ramona's ass down and confronting her. I loved that she was like a Pac-Man going after pellets, chasing Ramona's ass down and confronting her. Yeah, she was stalking her. Oh, Ramona's ass. Yeah, she was like, you know, you've heard the term like immovable feast. This was like immovable fight.

And like no matter where Ramona went, Heather was just like following her around just to be bitchy. And it was kind of like, I kind of enjoyed it. I thought it was very funny. Oh, sorry, Matt. You see, I corrected you. So in my imagination, it had to be Ramona chasing around Heather. I couldn't even imagine it the other way.

Which leads me to confess that I don't care about New York. I can't bring myself to watch that shit. Except every time I close my eyes, I hear, Good night, Ronnie. I work at ABC. Everything is. I work at... No, Tom Brokaw, I do.

I'm a widow. Sweet dreams. Ursula wants to see you. I think that she's part of your dreams. My whole new thing is that if Jackie Earl Haley does not re-sign as Freddy Krueger for the next installment of Nightmare on Elm Street, Carol Radziwill has that shit in the bag. Oh yeah, although I was going to say, the way our impression has been evolving, she's now sort of turned into one of the eels from Little Mermaid, I'm just saying. Well, it's late over here. It's two hours later over here. Listen, Carol, you know, so, Ronnie,

I know you say you're not liking New York anymore. I actually thought this was the first, like, super funny episode of the season because I was laughing the whole hour. Like, because the first half, they were still in London, and... But what did they do? I mean, I watched, and I don't even remember what the hell happened.

They didn't do anything. All that happened was thatuanne was one-upping like crazy it was amazing every time like anyone said someone said like oh i came from a family of five she's like well i come from a family of seven you know like i do gymnastics oh i do gymnastics too um there was even honestly my favorite part of the entire episode was this one time luanne went to the bathroom and said of course all the girls talk shit and Sonia was like you know I just want to walk into the room for one I just want to walk into the room first for once and they cut to a clip from

earlier that night that you had maybe never even realized when it was going on you didn't you just thought it was like a cutaway clip but now when it was cut away to it was Luann pushing her way to the front of the pack I mean Ben she was like a fucking New York giant like shoving people to the side of the pack. I mean, Ben, she was like a fucking New York giant shoving people to the side so that she could walk

that catwalk a la Tyra. It was absolutely amazing. And I literally watched that clip over five times in a row. Can you make a gif? I needed his gif. You know, that's a great idea. I don't know how to really make gifs, but I would love to make that a gif because it is fan-assisting. Dear fans and listeners, somebody make us a gif of that

because we need it yes um um in terms of other things yeah that's pretty much all that luann did and it was just it was just funny you know she's just a one-upper um but i also enjoyed also later on after this heather ramona fight how luann was so excited to come in for some gossip the way she approached she pounced on heather and was like i'm on your team immediately i love that it's classic luann is anyone is anyone on this podcast am i just speaking into the void at this point well i'm just you know i'm racking my brain here and i'm going okay they were still in london they talk shit about luann and then we got to this party there was a bad

performance aviva fell down the stairs and heather chased ramona that's it that's but it was all the stuff that was happening was funny they were all being so petty and so bitchy i thought it was great it was like finally returned to form you know to be honest it's not even that i don't like it it's that i've been in i've just been with my family so i have to like sneak i really have to make an effort to watch this shit. Orange County, I have to see that. Jersey, some I have to see it. But New York, I can just kind of live without. And I'm not going to sit here and watch four hours of CSI reruns with my mother and then watch New York because I just keep feeling like someone should be killed.

Yeah. Well, I will say there's not – I agree. There's not anything really pressing to watch about New York right now, but i thought this this past week was hilarious no i mean it was pretty good i will say though that when they teased the beginning of the season you know there is a point where i clearly sides and teams change like from episode to episode on uh new york which is going to be good and the you know the thing i'm waiting for is when Aviva freaks the fuck out finally and loses her cool and she calls Sonya and Ramona white trash.

But they're probably going to make me fucking wait until episode 17 for it. Yeah, exactly. By the way, this has nothing to do with Aviva, but is it me or do you guys think that Heather's husband is kind of cute? Ew, no. Totally cute, but... Not Aviva's husband. He looks like he smells but Heather's husband not Aviva's husband

he looks like he smells like Heather's vagina I love how much we talk about vaginas on this show because we're with three gay guys we talk about vaginas all the time what do you think Heather's vagina smells like Febreze Beyonce I think it's a mix of

sandalwood and old and old flip-flops. I think it smells like the tiny pile of cardboard things I have in my recycling bin. I think it smells like the saran wrap that she tries to perfect her shapewear with. I think it smells like old balloon. affect her shapewear with. I think it smells like old balloon. I think it smells like a mix of grape lip

smackers and egg whites. I think it smells like those tickets that you get out of the ball machine at Chuck E. Cheese. Ooh, skee-ball, yeah. Yeah, you walk around with them all day and they smell like sweat and cardboard. I think my mind is actually drawing

a blank. All I can think is I'm just looking around my apartment. I'm like, I think she smells like a stereo system. I think she smells like my remote control. I think you pretty much topped yourself at the very beginning with Beyonce. Yeah, I'm like, I already gave my best answer.

Now I'm just like diminishing the terms. Shut us all up. You shut us all up with that one. Okay, so New York was eh. The ratings are in the toilet. Definitely go listen to episode 25, which is now on iTunes for download. We talked to Jill Zarin earlier today. She has a lot to say about New York and why the ratings are down.

And she didn't make – she didn't pull any punches, and she clearly is not a fan of Heather's. Yeah, she does not like Heather at all, clearly. She didn't explicitly say that. Well, they should bring back the girls. I mean especially me and – who was the other one that's not kelly oh me and alex and and kind of kelly what a sweet thing to say right then she was also like and if you guys want to talk to cindy barshop she's definitely available she's painfully free oh lord okay should we move on to new jersey then since we have exhausted let's go there let's all right so um big thing in new

jersey was that uh melissa gorga and gia performed at this thing called beatstock and did you guys notice that there was like only maybe like a quarter of the people at this amphitheater like do you know there's i think there may be like 200 people there total the editors needed to be fired because i mean i know that they were going for a lot of tight shots of the family up in the front row but every once in a while they'd pull back and you'd see like row after row after row of like empty green bleachers and it's like okay you might want to call this a festival but there maybe are 300 people there and half of them are paid extras yeah you know i actually went on to the beat stock 2011 website because i'm judicious like that. First of all, it started at 11 a.m. So clearly this was like the

11.15 a.m. slot that she got. And, you know, they acted sort of like Beat Stock was the biggest thing ever. The big headliner there, they had one name that was noteworthy, which is Kelly Rowland. And then from Kelly Rowland, it drops down to Shaggy. And then from Shaggy,

it just goes into like a who's who of 90s people. Crystal Waters, Robin S., the cover girls. Can I make a few guesses? Yes. Was Genuine on the ballot? He was not, but Jeremiah was, or Jeremy. Was En Vogue minus Don Robinson there? No.

They're too big. Jodie Watley? Jodie Wat're too big. Jodie Watley? Jodie Watley was not. Jodie Watley. No. Huey Lewis? Huey Lewis doesn't do Beatstock. Was the news there?

Were the surviving members of TLC there? No. Here, I'll tell you some others. Ultra Nate. Oh, what a classic. Rob Bass. Karina. Do you guys remember karina she's saying

temptation you know 10 years ago at mickey's in west hollywood on santa monica boulevard like that was their roster i'm kind of wavering between going back back and forth between thinking this is like the worst thing ever slash i kind of wish i had a ticket and see because i would have loved to seen karina hey i concert. Hey, I'm team Kelly Rowland. I live for that girl. But, like, she only can sell records in the U.K. She also. When love takes over.

Yeah, yeah. We just harmonized. I can't deny. Melissa. Next Melissa Gorga, you guys. And this is my last thing about the roster here. But Melissa was also in the company of a whole bunch of people who i have never heard of before there must be doing the jersey circuit

uh frank lamb lambov lambov or lamboy razor and guido scissorhands glenn frischia louis devito and mia martina i think that that's like a family and they probably own like, you know, a strip mall and every one of them owns like a different, like meatball shack. It's all the people who run the kiosks. Exactly. Like every hour they bring some up from like selling hot dogs. Like, Hey,

you want to go on the microphone? You can sing a song. Why not? Um, now, dare I say that Gia's dance performance was better than Melissa's lip-syncing skills. Oh, my God. Yes.

And so did all the editors think that, too. That was hilarious how they just kept hitting that point home. They're like showing Melissa, I don't know if I can do that, to Gia just kicking ass. Yeah, Gia was good. Gia was like 100% talented. Booty popping. Booty popping. Booty poppingpin'. Booty poppin', yeah.

Now, you guys know that Melissa wasn't the only one having a big show, a big sort of moment on the grand stage. Also, our favorite, Kathy, was having a big moment at a gelato shop in that she was sharing her...

You're so stupid. That segue was genius, but i also want to punch you in the face listen i mean they look they they put that storyline in there so that would be it would work thematically because everyone was having their big moments on a grand stage so for melissa it was upbeat suck and for kathy it was that she brought like a piece of cake to the gelato shop and was like oh i, I hope the guy behind the counter likes it. I love...

I was holding that goddamn pasta sauce. That looks cheaper than ragu. Oh, you guys, let's talk about the boys. Why do I have to watch Caroline's fucking children and their terrible muddy water business? Why? Why? I think it's actually heartbreaking because Chrisris lorita

he saved a hooker and now someone's gonna have to save his ass because black water and not gonna sell i know it's like this guy is like such a decent guy he seems bright he seems like a got a good head on shoulders and he's putting all the fact that he has a wrist tattoo, just saying. Well, you know, he's from Jersey. There's certain things you just can't avoid. That's true. But, you know, here's this guy, and he's putting all his money into this cockamamie idea called Blackwater. And it's not only going down the shitter, but he has assembled a horrific team of experts and you know it's it's

really his fault at this point because it was one thing okay you you know he brings on uh albie and christopher but now they got like uh dominic and uh richie down from the boardwalk coming along staff of posh could do a better job i It's like, does any professional experience come into play with anyone he hires here? Or are they just all buddies from the Jersey Shore? No, because all they do is sit around and shove their faces full of dead animals and alcohol because they are fat, lazy fucks. Yeah, they, like, there's not any semblance of a marketing strategy going on with these people. They're just like, hey, we'll just show up and we're on TV and we're going to give people water that's black because it's...

We'll put mom on stage at the trade show. The end. I mean, reading Lauren's Twitter and how she thinks she's like Julia Roberts or something really leads me to the conclusion that they're all delusional. I usually think it's just the housewives and the rest of the family is like,

oh, there's mom again, all famous at the mall. But I think they really think that they're all delusional. I usually think it's just the housewives and the rest of the family is like, oh, there's mom again, all famous at the mall. But I think they really think that they're all Teresa. Well, caface is a genius idea. Caface. Caface.

Caface. Well, you know, caface must really be taking off because there had to be some good reason why Lauren was not at the fancy food show, okay? That's all I gotta say. She was probably sampling the scones that are gonna be up front in the store.

Why didn't they just call that place Fat Face? I would go there before I would go to Cat Face. At least I know that they were trying to make an effort to make me look better. Oh my god like meanwhile they could give you like made up turtlenecks like just color a turtleneck on all the way up to your chin did anybody else um back to the uh the food show the wine and food expo or

whatever the hell it was called in my hometown of dc it's called the fancy food show whatever it was embarrassing um the only thing that came out was called The Fancy Food Show. Whatever. It was embarrassing. The only thing that came out of that that I wanted to see more of was a spinoff starring Greg and Patti LaBelle. Yeah, I would be okay with that. You know what? Patti LaBelle had that look on her face like, oh my God, a gay guy's coming over. He's the most boring gay person I've ever... Do you have anything to say other than,

wow, Patti LaB labelle you're a queen right maybe maybe if i show him my louboutin he'll just leave i can't help but i can't help but feel like that like everyone around greg tells him he's like the most fabulous funny guy ever and i think it's sort of gone to his head like he's like oh i'm greg i'm like the funny gay guy that everyone loves on new jersey but he's like only okay, I think. He doesn't say anything funny. The only thing they just keep laughing at him because he's gay. Yeah. Like he's in Jersey, so everywhere they go, they're like, who's the gay guy?

Right, like maybe we'll get Joe Gorga to sleep with him. Like we've had that joke for three seasons now. Oh, we can make some asshole jokes. Well, okay. Let's cut to the chase here. Ronnie, you did meet him at a party, I want to say, during Pride weekend. I didn't really meet him.

I mean, we were at the same party, but he was in the pool with his kind of hot boyfriend, and everyone was shit-faced. And when he was leaving, I was outside smoking a— Cigarette. I was outside smelling people smoking, and so I— I thought you quit, Ronnie. I was smoking a bowl, okay? I was smoking smelling people smoking. And so I... I thought you quit, Ronnie. I was smoking a bowl. Okay, I was smoking a bowl. But I was walking back with my friends

and he was walking up the hill all shit-faced. And I just grabbed my phone and turned on the camera and just grabbed him and was like, hey, would you mind real quick? And just faced it towards us. And the way that that man picked his face up off the floor and made it so cute and smiley, it was impressive.

He popped a pose, didn't he? He did. He knows what he's doing. Because he should not have looked... I kind of was trying to be... Part of me just didn't want to bug him, but the other part of me was like, oh my God, he's going to look like such shit in this picture.

How hot was his boyfriend? And do I have a chance? No. Was he as hot as Joe Giudice wearing a wife beater and a black vest and sculpted beard?

I'm pretty into man boobs and giant arms and a bubble butt, so I would have to say Giudice wins. That Gidice ensemble was... You just don't stand a chance because guys,

they will only date model looking guys. I think you're very cute though. Sorry, I didn't mean to be a jerk. You stand a chance with me, but you don't like bears. You're not a bear. He's a shaved bear. I am now. We haven't seen each other for a couple of months. You losing weight.

Do you have facial hair right now? Yeah, I've got facial hair. I've got about 80,000 pounds on me. Why am I talking about this? We shouldn't do this late at night. Yeah, I think that means it's time to wrap up. I think that means it's time to wrap up. No, Ben, we have more shit to talk about.

What? Okay, talk about it then Okay, well what were you trying to say Before I started talking about Loving Brown Loving Brown? Loving Brown? That's my favorite color, what do you guys like? Blue Cherry red

Cherry red lip gloss She's a good follower of ours, you guys She is, okay okay what did you guys think about um theresa's children talking mad shit about melissa's lip-syncing skills uh love her kids they're totally a bitch like their mom and why are theresa sleeping in different rooms did we talk about that yet we did not talk about that that yet. Clearly there's some trouble in Paradise there. Whose fault do you think it is? His. His. Because he cheats.

Don't you remember that he cheats? He goes away He goes to swingers clubs with Don from Orange County. Maybe Teresa is sleeping around too, you guys. I don't know. Who would stick it in that? Joe Giudice would. I don't think that she is, but remember in the beginning of the season, remember

Gia was attacking her dad for having affairs. That is true because those girls don't have a filter. They don't. Well, we should see if there's a forehead fetish side or something. I'd like to hook Teresa up. I would love Teresa

having a storyline of trying to get divorced from Judas while she's dating someone else. That would be so good. I can only imagine what her next husband would look like. Probably like a giant piece of Swiss cheese. I think it would probably look like

her brother because clearly they're doing it. Maybe it'll just be a waffle like your boyfriend, Matt. Get in line, bitch. I kind of like clearly they're doing it. Maybe it'll just be a waffle like your boyfriend, Matt. Get in line, bitch. I kind of like that they're making incest okay again. I'm from a very big Lebanese family. You know what? Joe Gorga is hot, so I approve that incest. You know,

Ben, we might need to have an intervention with Ronnie because he is sharing a hell of a lot of stuff. Like, I'm learning, like, too much shit tonight. You know, it's been a day it's been a day of it's been a day of sharing you know okay last question for you two are we ever going to see them go on this motherfucking trip i know in country jesus christ i don't i don't worry ever since the last time we talked about it and you brought up that hello napa's like across the country and

they're going in a fucking car or a mobile. I've been mortified ever since you brought that up because I didn't really realize it before. And I'm scared for everybody involved. Well, and we saw what happened on the last trip that they all went to in Punta Cana last year for the Dominican Republic. I mean, my God, hell broke loose. What's going to happen now? I don't know. I think it's sort of curious that their big trip of the season is going to be in America, in Napa.

Normally they go international for those sort of things. I wonder if because of the Punta Cana stuff going on there, they can't leave the country. Or is it late at night and I'm coming up with crazy conspiracy theories? I think it's that. And I also think because Teresa's children acted like such little fucking monsters when they were put on that cruise ship that they're not allowed to leave the country. And they're not allowed to go back to Italy again, that's for damn sure. Hell no. They're not allowed on the seas. The fish have rejected

them. I'm not making any sense. I am not making any sense. The only place that'll keep them is Jersey, you guys. So, they suck. Those kids are evil. Well, actually, no. Only Melania's evil. Gabriella's turning pretty. Gabriella was kind of like, actually, no. Only Melania is evil. Gabriella is turning pretty.

Gabriella was kind of like, oh, my sister is stupid. And then they just showed her looking out the window of the limousine. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Clearly everyone's tired. So one more time, I'll reel off how you guys can find us on the interwebs. You can download us on iTunes.

Again, episode 25 with Jill Zarin is now live. This is episode 26. We'll be back next week with episode 27. You can also follow us on Twitter at WhatCrappens. Follow us. Individually, you can follow us at LifeOnTheMList, at B-SideBlog, and at TVGasm. And don't forget to follow us on Facebook. Give us a big old like.

Send us your questions. We love to talk gossip with you guys. But Matt, you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to be doing this in the Carol voice. Start over. I can't do Carol voice. You guys can't. Watch what Frank Bowne's act does on Twitter and on Facebook.

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Follow us on WhatsApp. I lost a pin, but I just peed it out. Hey, what happened, you guys? Luann's a pumpkin head. Guys, stop. Matt, we feel. Thank you, Live Show Network, for doing everything for us. Check us out on iTunes, Facebook, and Twitter.

Goodbye, you guys. Please follow us. You're scaring everybody. No, please follow us on Facebook because we're getting thousands and thousands of downloads now of the podcast. And we have like 60 people who like us on Facebook. So it's really out of proportion. It's a new page, so it makes sense. But it's getting embarrassing now. So please follow us.

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