Watch What Crappens - Netflix's Holidate Part Two With 90 Day Gays

Episode Date: December 29, 2020

**This episode also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo** We're back with Matt and Jake from the 90 Day Gays Podcast for part two of our Holidate recap. The final part will release tomorrow, and you can catch the video versions over at Crappens on Demand on Patreon. Find Matt and Jake at https://www.sissythattalk.com @90daygays @themattmarr @jakeitorfakeitOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music, they'll get this one. Happiness might be so much that it happens. Well, hello everybody and welcome to part two of our three part holiday recap from Netflix. We're doing this with our friends Matt and Jake.

You can find them over at 90 Day Gays. It's a great 90 day. I always want to call it 90 Day Gays now. But 90 Day fiance podcast. Go find them wherever you hear podcasts. And if you want videos of this, just join us over at CrappensOnDemand on Patreon. It's patreon.com. Slash, watch what crappens, sign up at the CrappensOnDemand level. And you'll get all of our videos and our continuing edition of videos. Okay, just come on over. We sure love you guys. Thanks for being with us. Enjoy part two

This movie was this movie was bonkers. It was fun. It was watchable. I it was watchable I'm gonna watch it again. That's it. I Was fine with it. I kind of wanted cuz I was watching it in earnestness to like talk about it This totally is a I'm gonna just make like a huge rock atomic and watch this movie. Yeah. Yeah. I think I was confused by just so many of the tropes that were there and then the ones that weren't. Troops, what are you talking about? It was a map going from here. Hahaha. By the way, they're supposed to be in Chicago.

They're supposed to be like in Metro Chicago. And it was only a map of like six blocks. It wasn't even like New York to San Francisco. It was just like in the other neighborhood. Yeah, why did they need to like have an animation sequence to show that as he was happening in another part of the world. Yeah, the producer is like, how do we know it's Chicago? We got to tell these kids it's Chicago. Better put it on a big map. The windy city. Morning. Get gotta tell these kids it's Chicago. I'm gonna put it on the big map. The windy city. Morning.

Get that map we have. Get it. So now we go to the hot guy highlights. What was his name in the Jackson? Jackson Jackson Jackson. Jackson Jackson. Jackson Jackson. So he shows up.

So he is like, he's walking up with some girl to like a door. I'm like, oh, okay, we've got another person here. He's from the poster. So I know that another person here, he's from the poster. So I know that like, okay, he's gonna be important. So he looks really shy at first. And I thought his accent was British at first. So I'm like, oh he's a shy British man who's being brought to Christmas.

And there's this girl who's like, oh my god, you're here for Christmas. I don't know, this is my boyfriend. He's like boyfriend. And then the mom and the dad are like really like, like on top of him and like showing, but like, oh, this is a photo of when she got her first period. We're in an edgy movie, guys. Bad mom's part two. Missed bad mom's part two.

The first 10 minutes were like sensory overload for me. Like I had her, it was like, things were being thrown at your face so quickly. It was like a movie version of when I once hooked up with that guy at Akbar and he was like completely ate my face and I took him home and then I found out he had brought his overnight bag on the first hookup in my bathroom. Well you're dating the Goga boys. He was going to work. It's like getting mad that a doctor woke up next to you and scrubs. Yeah it's true. I

knew some yoga teacher. And I knew it was bad the morning after we were laying in bed He's like I can't wait for us to do yoga together Oh, Jake and Jake and I were roommates at the time and I walked out of the hallway like this and Jake is holding the bag And it's hand and he looks to me and says this has to stop This has to stop. And I'm like, he brought his electric toothbrush. But that is kind of like, I feel like this guy was part of that family. It's like, go hard, go quick, go now with this family. So even it got really edgy too when they later have sex.

Highlights has sex. Has sex with Carly, that's her name. And he doesn't want to but you know Oh, he's a man and if it just feels good we forget our Innovations and just we've got to have sex so they fuck and they're later kind of giving gifts and He doesn't get her a gift and the line was again bad moms too. I'm gonna use that bend of she's like wait a minute Just came in my mouth. You just came in my mouth. And I was like, oh my, for me.

I was like, okay, I mean, but I would have liked it if maybe the whole movie was like that, but it wasn't like that. So it was just like the strange tonal, like, this tonal issue, yeah. And what was weird too is that at this point, he was like this very polite guy who was kind of like, whoa, I'm just like a normal guy in a crazy world. And that's like the last time he's like this very polite guy who was kind of like whoa I'm a I'm just

like a normal guy in a crazy world and that's like the last time he's like that because then from that point on he's like a dick the rest of the time is like well look at you lighting in the in the seep in the market you want to all you're crazy you're a hey let's have let's fuck let's be let's let's let's let's go to New Year's leave and just skank you And I can say that because it's fun. It's like what? You're not, you're not even that hot of a Shayla. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like so nice to meet an ugly girl like a bimo sir for Android. Oh! I was like, wait, you deserve that other Carly girl and why weren't you with her? Like, oh my god. Yeah, I wanted, I was feeling old because I was like you know I really would have liked to watch this with my nieces like I was really upset when I say you came in my mouth you can't give me a present and then he tries to pay her off he's like well I've got 20 bucks and she's like 80 yeah she's like

what am I at prostitute it was such a like who is this movie for like is it for like it cuz like any people who love these movies They probably be like me going come in your mouth Beginning I know but didn't like but then it like goes sort of a sweet way and then I wrote down a note that someone say this I think he said it right jigs go mantles on the holidays right or something like yes Chicks go mental on the holidays right or something like yes like Wow Friends in the holiday. I think his friends said that to him. Oh, yeah, he's like you go to a house for Christmas. Yeah, yeah So yeah, he's burning her in her her childhood room then back at Sloan's house She's sitting at the kids table. She's like I prefer the thing I said

I'm and so Even the kid is on her ass about being with someone and she's like, so we have Sloan, why didn't you call Rodney the clown? And she's like, why don't you call Rodney the clown? I'm like, I have a boyfriend already and I share his juice box. And so she's like, oh fuck you, he's gonna be sharing that juice box with some Starbucks breeze and a brain bow. Right. She, you know, and you know the writer of that movie spent so much time actually knowing how she wanted that line to be done Yeah, just practicing it With the rule girl and so then so Sloan has this like younger brother who is kind of like just a douchebag

Actually like he has nothing nothing in this beautiful. You're awful Yeah, he's like he this guy's like particularly like the Hating Badly. Yeah, he's like, um, he's just like someone who takes selfies at the gym. I thought he was so sweet like committing to people. That's why you have relationship problems. But then he's like, so he has this girlfriend named Liz and he proposes to her. And I'm like, at the time I'm like, okay, cool. But as the movie goes on, I'm like, why are these two even in a relationship? They do not match each other at all in any sort of way.

Well, that's not, it was funny because they had only known each other for three months in six heavenly days, but they know nothing about each other. They're just like, I think. Oh, I didn't even realize that I was like the running joke, I thought it was just like, bad writing. I don't know, they don't know each other the whole time.

I don't think the brother was there for any reason, but yet to be his golf student. So they would slightly know each other. It was like the almost reason the brother was there. Almost a complication, but it wasn't a complication. I didn't lead to anything. You're so right, Ben. You really, you realize they're kind of like my aunt Darla.

They walk right up to conflict and then when they see it, they're like, no, Kate, I'm out. It was a Darla. That was definitely, it's like, you've got McGuffins, and now we have Darla. This is an ant Darla. Yeah, that's an ant Darla. That's an ant Darla, because it was like,

oh no, they know each other. Now they're gonna be entangled in ways they can't amat. Oh no, it's pretty much the same. And it doesn't matter, cause all the family shows up at every holiday anyway. It's just my team. It Oh no, it's pretty much the same. And it doesn't matter because all the family shows up at every holiday anyway. It's just my team. It's fine.

Tiam, give my purse for Leven. I feel like it was White Cell. He did that. I think he was like, you know what, we need in this film, Adarla. Make the sound the golf students. So now it's like after this horrific Christmas and the Jackson is at a store.

He's at the mall at that department store and he's returning. Um, he's basically returning the khakis for to get money off of them. And he wants for you. I guess he wants his $40 backwards $80 back to the baby, but which only occurred to me right now. So, um, uh, he's like, I'd like to return some cockies blows and and then like Sloan behind him being like Hurry up some of us have a job okay That's my something again, I don't know how this this one is a 30-year-old reference

But it's not just that. First of all, crocodile Denny, later on, we're gonna get a Matt Lauer tattoo. And then we're also gonna get Steve Erkel. Like someone is really upset that 1992 is gone. Yeah. Really upset because that's actually the tattoo comes. She's like, Kouko, and they start to fight about it. Who's returning?

Really what? And also like, what a fucking bitch of this, if you're a store comes she's like, Koko and they start to fight about it. He's returning what and also like what a fucking bitch Are this if you if you're a store and someone's like hurry up? I don't know. Some of us have a job crock and I'll done you like Shut the fuck like I'm trying to get my money. I'm here for the same reason you are also I think this was right. Oh go ahead No one except a monster attack strangers in a line Yeah, exactly. You do what you're supposed to do, which is you cross your arm to go,

that's what Jake does. Come on, what you waiting for? Yeah, and you tap your foot a little bit, and you just swipe your phone loudly. You know, like when you have your phone and you're like, or maybe you have a big mic conversation. I talked to someone. Yeah, I'm still on the phone.

How long have you been waiting? Very badly. How long have you been waiting here? I'll be there as soon as I'm done. This line's just taken forever. I know. Keep us so slow. They're just not prepared.

But I'm a total phony because I get so mad at the line and I hate everybody in the line like resent them for having too many things in their cart or taking too long. And then I get up to the front and I'm like, hi, I'm working. That name's so nice. Thank you for the help. Thank you for the help.

Me too, I hate conflicts. I mean, I was in a hurry. And Darlin' Hour a lot of like. But also, I think this was written to it was written by someone who's never really been poor about what they think poor people are like because the house, the Momma's family house, I'm like, I'm sure you guys, it's like the tiniest house they could get where they have to get a leaf for the table. And then they have this where they're

like fighting over there, like she's fighting over two dollars for jogging pants that she didn't like from her sister. Her pajamas pants. And he's like, I really need that morning for the cockies. She's like, how do poor people behave? I know, I do use a golf pro. What does a poor person give? Another poor person for business. Also, what professional golfer returns khakis? He's like, he should be like, sweet.

Right. Yeah. Sweet. Uh, so she moves her way up to the front of the line because she's like a different kind of romantic movie She moves up and she's like I have a quick return PJs and the size of a lumberjack Like she's filled with rage

She's a very angry person with a remarkably wonderfully decorated apartment. So she's like a monster, but then she shops at anthropology. Yeah. Well, that's tracks. So basically, yeah, she can only get $5 from her exchange because her sister gave her pants for my two seasons ago, which I thought was actually pretty funny. And so they like do this whole negotiation with the girl behind them and they get like money out of it,

but also like the girl gives them like a two-for-one pretzel coupon at like what's those pretzels, which then I guess is actually important because it means that these two like our leads have a scene together because they have to go get their pretzel. Anyway, it's their port. weird as concept I've ever heard. I was just looking on my phone because I went,

I wonder what the Princess Leia, like nerd girl with the Matt Lauer tattoo, his name was, and it was Annie. That was her character's name, Annie. Oh, okay. Guess who Annie is. I'm more like two. Guess who Annie is.

Poor, the orphan Money spent all her money on a Matt Lauer tattoo. Oh actual Annie. Yeah. Yeah exactly This is the this is like that. This is what happens Annie. She wants a penny Matt Lauer tattoo It's it was also just the idea of having that you hear the two for one pretzel and Normally you won't be this you don't be to stranger and say Do you want to go to? Yeah, like you take this it seems yeah, it seems really straight here You'll you'll use this because I don't know you and I don't want to spend time with you

Yeah, I'm gonna get fucking two pretzels I'm gonna get the regular pretzel with the cheese sauce and then I'm gonna get the cinnamon sugar one with the first Alfred desire fuck you. I don't I't know. I think those are upsells. I'm betting you that that is like a, you buy one kind of pretzel and you get another, you can't just be like, oh, I want the $2.60 pretzel and the $3.15 pretzel. Yeah, I just think it's strange.

I think it's strange that they already were so content, like she was already such an asshole to him and then he was kind of addicted to her. It's weird that then they were like, okay, let's walk together To the pretzel shop, which for all we know could have been across the mall, you know like Well, yeah, cuz they were like they were But at this point because they were both complaining about their Christmases or their whatever it was it was Christmas Right, well, yeah Christmas, so they were complaining about their Christmas is now horrible, everybody. You know, they were bonding over negativity, which I found very realistic.

And so they went to get their little pretzel thing. And then they keep bitching about all the stupid people in line and everybody's stupid, my family sucks. And then they're like, hey, we should date. Yeah. There's like this weird like bodhinaj about like her herbal impersonation because she's like, he's like, he shames her for eating pretzels.

I don't even remember why, but he's like shaming her. And then he says this is cool. That's something Mike. Yeah, he goes, he goes, all I bought you a free pretzel, so you owe me an Erkel. I'm like, what?

She doesn't owe you any Erkel impersonation. I mean, yeah. It was that that was one of the strangest pieces of dialogue in the movie. I'm like, what? She doesn't know you, Eddie Erkle impersonation. Yeah. It was one of the strangest pieces of dialogue in the movie. That really was. It was the Erkle. Yeah, well, when she came out with her fascination about her Erkle, she's like, yeah, I had to think for Erkle. I spent months learning how to throw my voice like Erkle.

So then he makes her do Erkle and I was like, who? Who fucking? That's terrible. I feel bad for people walking by you. We overhear your conversation. I guess she had been, because again, y'all, again, Zack Snyder Romantic comedies. She has a ventriloquist doll named Lester that she did the Steve Erkel voice. But do you see how, we have to go through all of this just to find that out? Just to find that out. But it works though, because once they both decide to have hallades, because Jackson

says, quote, human beings don't need to be alone on the holidays, because that's a, he says it like it's a fact. You're forgetting also the whole reason why holiday came up is they saw, she saw the black guy who was Christian Jenner with the Santa like Santa oh yeah and and and that she had this look of horror on her face like with a black Santa no me yeah and he was like he's like I already

know the Santa Claus and she's like oh that was my aunt's holiday and she's like he's like whole date a and then like that's when she said all the night are you saying whole a diet or whole a diet He's like, he's like, whole diet, eh? And then like, that's when she's like, whole diet. Are you saying whole a diet, or whole a diet? The whole a diet, pretty good. It's 18 to the next. It sounds like you're saying whole a diet,

and pulling them together. And where would you mean? And so he starts saying this thing is like, well, you don't all need a whole a diet, because I'm done casually dieting on the holidays. It's too much pressure, it's ridiculous. I'm like, well, then don't casually date on the holidays. And like, stay home and jerk off.

Yeah, truly. How many people casually date on the holidays? Go to the morphing day alone. I have never done that. And I have one friend who freaks out every time it's Christmas or any holiday. He's like, oh my god, I'm alone. Like, this is the best time of the year to be alone.

Like, if there's ever a time to realize what a pleasure it is being alone, it's a holiday, seeing everybody else suck. And like, you could up with him for how many years, like you see the deterioration of this shit every year. I mean, I just feel about it every year. And why is he so scared of, like, if he casually dates

someone and then they think that it's much more committed than it is Like why is he afraid of that? I think there was a scene in a car in the car later, which we'll get to Where he tries to explain it, but I don't feel like it really addresses the issue here like it's like weird psychology going on with these characters There seems like there are things that were there were a lot of Scenes that were cut to make this movie I was gonna or 45 minutes. I was gonna say there are so many you guys when this gets released on a DVD at Blockbuster because that's what the guy was imagining when he wrote it because it was the wrong time period.

There's so many deleted scenes. Yeah. Because if you're afraid of being overly committed, you're afraid of commitment and you're afraid that the holidays are going to cause that to happen. Why are you also interested in casually dating during the holidays? Why is it so important that you casually date during the holidays?

I think if you're afraid of coming and you just avoid it all together and go out with your other single bros that are in the same boat. I just wonder, this is the movie that when you do rent a blockbuster, it's so not good enough. It's because to market it, they'll give you a box of chocolate when you rent it. Yes. That's enough for me. It's a good enough, it's because to market it, they'll give you a box of chocolate when you granted.

That's enough for me. It's a good point. I think to have a holiday, to make the assumption of a holiday, means that you basically said, I'm not really going to date. I'm just going to give up hope for any serious relationship. Yeah, I'm closing up my life. Yeah, that's it for me. A long dark hallway. Yeah, and if you are a casual data, like if you're someone who casually dates enough that you actually casual date on something like Christmas, what are you doing in between those holidays? Are you casually dating and then you sell

someone I can't go I can't spend St St Patrick's Day with you because I have a Platonic date that I see Platonic dates that I see on every holiday and someone goes what the fuck is that? One of the casual date is over. Are you just sad? I just don't get the whole idea because I brought somebody home one time just for fun It wasn't I wasn't even serious. was just like some casual look at casual thing they still will ask you know how's that guy remember that guy I was like I was 20 yeah I'm like he's dead now he's in prison mom he did coke off some guys dick

so either way he basically is like let's be holidays for New Year's Eve and he's like there'll be no expectations because honestly I don't even find you that attractive He says you're not saying you're not attractive. I just don't find you attractive It was and the tone of that was so weird And it's like a weird he said it wrong and he said it weirdly and she couldn't believe it obviously Don't you remember the scene in sprouts? There is a scene in sprouts rangosling. We're getting to you We're getting to you name checks like 11 times in this movie

I know and so then he's like he's like all right. Well, let me give you my information on a business car I was like oh this is from 1991. Yes, I'm telling you. He's like, let's switch information by bumping all fists together with our phones open. Oh, you guys, my dad, that just reminded me, he is so scared that he thinks that if you bump your phone together just accidentally, it automatically

will share your data. Well, tell your father to stop watching Real Housewives of Dallas because that's where he got that. I probably don't let it touch my phone. I don't want your shit. Anyway, it's a but you know what I will say maybe one of my favorite lines of the movie you have me at Leicester. That was the whole point of that ventriloquist dummy y'all. It was just so they could say they really, I think they took so many different scenes from movies and they're like, how can we make this fantastic line

or this fantastic scene in one of these great pivotal momentous movies and make it better? Yeah. You had me at Lester. You had me at Lester. I think too, what if that whole throwing the voice thing was just because Emma Roberts had special skills on her resume that said throwing voice. And she's like, well, and that was the reason. She's got a live whistle throwing voice and tap dancing.

Yeah, and she's like, why why are you never let me do this? Yeah, I'm pleased. Please let me include this in the movie like sure you can have a scene with Francis Fishery talk about your father She's like who okay They decide that they're gonna be holidays because he has tickets to some party. She's like oh my god That's such a fun party. That's the best party. Yeah, I'm not there thing single people never say. Oh my God, thank God a date that's the coolest date party ever. Her family's going.

Like her family had connects, but she didn't. Like everyone else, like even her front-piece sister, like her aunt Susan got into this party, but she's like oh god You got a ticket to that party and by the way I do not believe for one moment that Sloan's character would ever want to go to that party Never ever no she doesn't okay, so now Sloan is working at home and her pajamas Which her mother hates and she's like honey can't you just recognize?

So she's trying to hook her up with her new neighbor, Farouk. And she's like, he's single and free on New Year's. And she just hangs up on her mom. Can I just say I was honestly worried that he was gonna have a really bad Indian or Middle Eastern accent. Well, yeah, is it problematic? This is one where you didn't know,

this is definitely when where you didn't know if it was gonna be problematic first. Yeah, no, yeah, I was like, but also there was there was something kind of like slightly problematic in that like it almost but like the fact that his name was Farouk was the punchline like oh god someone in for a roof, you know, I was like, that's not the way mom was saying. Yes, this very exotic doctor for a roof. Who knows when he's going to share with me? Yeah, he's a doctor next to her. I was like, great. I just want to back up and say, yes, a race is important, but something that really

offended me is this is the worst office banter on the phone I've ever heard it, because I've worked a cubicle job for 17 years when she's just literally someone said what do we write for Sloan being on an office and they said just have her say we're right on target for Q3 that was like the most lame office dialogue fucking ever can you refill my stapler ball exactly that would have been more than anyone that was like my that's all I would I'll just get that that's what one googled so that what the screenwriter who's not a obviously a rich person I think you're right, and I think she's rich. Yeah, she googled she googled what do all this people say? Yeah, and that came up. It's well

I don't know some I don't know anybody who gets mad at their mother for trying to set them up with a hot doctor anyway I mean he's like hot he's like hot. He's the hot doctor next door and she's like gross I guess I look at the golf guys Where the guys he's in love with is horrible. Yeah, I'm all right to fix me up with some guy and we met at her Restaurant when she had a restaurant we're drinking these gigantic martinis because it's a carom restaurant So they're this big and the guy comes in and he was fine But there was something like kind of skittish and he went to the bathroom I said mommy seems kind of like shaking skittish. She goes. Oh, he just got out of rehab

He's like he had severe severe drug issues, but you know he's working through it and he's he's getting and I was like We're drinking a huge martinis Why this is this is it this is your On the wagon you got off the wagon for you honey honey the martini's gonna let's loosen him up. It's fine This is her idea of a setup having martinis with someone who just got out of rehab and has the shakes I was like my ver I Will take the hot doctor, okay? It's time for commercial.

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So then we go over to Jack and he's hang out with his buddy. Is this name Tom the the buddy Tom the vine guy the vine guys name Tom And so Tom's like looking through like a Tinder type thing and he's like look at this girl Look at this girl. Look at this girl. He's like I don't need a real girl because I'm emotionally closed off as all golfers are I need a holiday. I need all a date You know what I need a pair of cookies. God. I wish I could fund a pair of cookies You know what I need I don't need a real girl What I need is a very very attractive woman that I can hang out with on a regular basis and potentially develop Fuelings for but I won't say that part Because they're both two beautiful people.'s ridiculous it's absolutely irresponsible so then that's sorry Matt you know I was I I was actually isn't that is that when

Sloan calls him yeah yeah yeah it's like I'll see text them call and his friend is like is what is that a hot what's a holiday is that an app? Is that a meme? He was funny. I'll give it to him Yeah, he did so then so now Jackson and Sloan go to this like New Year's Eve party, which is like again also like a party That's like I guess it's like like, has anyone involved in this movie ever been to New Year's Eve party? And like, what was this, like this abandoned theater or something like that?

Like it was huge. It was like a club, but it wasn't really a club. It was like a movie club. Yeah. It also was way too spacious, because if you go to those, I went to one one time with our old roommate, Lindsey, we went to, it time with our old roommate lens we went to it was on is on coingots basically like one of those like on Hollywood Boulevard and it used to be it's a little or something but Braya it's like

whatever and it is one of those like conservation use it was a new year's it's so packed and it just smells like swass and drunk people it was everyone sweating gross this is not a new And it just smells like swass and drunk people. And fear. Everyone's sweating and gross. This is not a new thing. It sounds hot. It just did not look. It was just like it did not look or feel like a real party.

It looked like a sort of thing that like, there's like a shootout in an action movie, you know? Yes. Yes. Like a Japanese yakuza. Boss is in the bag. It was like being dead. It was literally like the scene from Black Panther and like Macau. I was just thinking that.

Yeah, I was just. So, um, so then they're like making fun of people, which I appreciated. And then, um, he's like, that's time for more like, romantic banter or like, anti-romantic banter. Because he's like, your tips, your tips, your tips look exceptional. I love the way it hugs you as to isn't this amazing because we're clearly not gonna date each other so I can say whatever I want yeah he's like thank you or I can say whatever I want

because you've got a face like a horse and exactly and she's like yeah and I can dress sexy without being slut shamed yeah yeah sexual harassment much better and a super slutty dress by what was that was that a slutty dress There's a there was a costume that she was wearing at 4th of July where ass was out now that was kind of slutty But that's okay Yeah, but also like isn't like it's like also like, isn't it like, it's like, okay, like I get you guys are holidays, I get it, I get it. But like, why do you have to be dicks to each other?

Like, aren't you just like enjoy each other's company? Yeah, like, have a good conversation. And again, it was this very much, again, the one uping and of the dialogue, because again, you're thinking, whoa, they're talking about tits, they're talking about curves. I need to hide my child's eyes. Oh, just wait till Aunt Susan comes and she starts talking about our clitoris No, I just want to say Aunt Susan brings over she's like look at this art student And I'm like I'm glad we know it's an art student because he's wearing a mother fucking beret

I noticed that too. I was like, thanks for telegraphing that. Maybe you should have had his like, painter's palette as well. Oh, the smog. Go get that beret. A star. I think the bag of my station wagon. And he should have, he should have like, spoken like, Pepele Puefrench at her.

Or something. So stupid. Yeah, so they see her over there because she's flirting with Buray Guy and he's like, now look at her. She's the devil, say, probably in the bondage. What a crazy lady. She's like, that's my aunt. So she comes over with the artist guy.

She's like, I was in the model. Like, I know him because I was a new model over there. Oh my god, he made me the most beautiful clay clay. Like a butterfly model over there. Oh my god, he made me the most beautiful clay clay. Like a butterfly. Taking green. He's like, uh, we're all like, uh, and your teenage daughter who's watching it with you is like,

why am I watching this? Yeah, Chris and Channel Star are very notorious. So, um, so now it's like, then it's like later in the party and they're talking like a bank cat and they're talking about like, they're talking about like a movie or something like that. They're just like, they were like later in the party and they were talking like a bank cat and they're talking about like, they're talking about like a movie or something like that. They're just like yapping along. And then at one point,

because they're talking about a romantic movie and she's like, that was just cockamami because they were like, we know they're gonna be together because they're in the poster together. So we know they end up together and I'm like, romantic movie, is it my right? Bar. And it's important that you take note of the fact

that she said cockamami, because we actually have a very, there's a call back, there's a call back. Cockamami, who says that word anymore? Cockamami. Cockamami. No, when you're riding a really shitty romantic comedy, don't have a scene where actors talk about

good romantic comedies that they didn't think were good. It's just gonna remind us that we're sad. Yeah. You're like, oh that sounds good. You're like, I'm sitting there going, why can't I just watch Harry and Sally for the first time again? And it's like, it's also like the self-referential, you know, banter about the genre that you're watching.

It's... It was sort of played out in 1999 with Scream, or it's 1997, so like, it's like, oh, this is so fresh. They're making self-referential jokes about Ron and Tom. She really loves romantic movies, though, Ben, because Jackson, out of nowhere, suddenly becomes somewhat smart and just sister out of the blue, who ruined these movies for you? Yeah.

Who, what sort of cockamomimi is this? Oh God, I just said it. Oh my God, I just realized cockamomimi is a word cocky in it. I'll be right back. We need to go find some cockies. So she's like, okay, I've had a couple of drinks, I'm gonna open my heart right now,

walls down. And so she tells them about the exit broker heart. He was smart, he was cute, he was French, he had tiny little John Lennon glasses, he ran marathon. This girl would never date that guy. Never. I totally agree. Right? Like this girl would not, she would mock him and try to run him over on accident in her car. Yes. Yes. What happened with Luke? What did she say happen with Luke?

He went he went in fact rainbow the barista. He texted It's cocked to a barista and I was like cock Another word another word with cockies cock a minute in a romantic comedy and in this setting I was just like in a romantic comedy in this setting I was just like cock I'm gonna shoot a cut this girl into the face So then she goes to the bathroom and there's a girl who's got red wine spilled all over her white dress and she's like Oh my god, he was like gonna propose tonight and now I'm just gonna stain Sherry

Oh my god And it's like not a red one, It's like a full on she was stabbed earlier Staying like that is not a red wine is not actual blood color. It was like this crazy Awful that was truly a terrible effect. Yeah, it was and and morning Morning, get that extra blood. It's in the back of the van What I said to do it and for no reason way, because it literally had no bearing on anything that happened in the movie. Nothing.

I was, I couldn't figure that out. But no, it's so that she's nice. Yeah, so she's a good person. I think that she traded her pretty black, quote unquote, slut dress, which is not, again, we used to sell them a casual corner anyway. But she's a very old person. A black dress for her wife.

So that makes her a good, but also that she doesn't care. She's like, whatever, I'm like care for her. Have fun. I've got a big, I'm wearing someone else's blood on me. Yeah. And so that it's so that she was like changing because she opened up. She put her walls down for the guy. Then she did a good deed for somebody else.

And then she was even willing to dance in public to the dirty dancing And they did bubbles. They did bubbles. Yeah, she was like changing and becoming happier again and more carefree and then it all went to shit When she tried to do the dirty dancing lift and he dropped her I would say that's harder doing a lift like that is harder Someone just doesn't jump and you catch them. Like there is a technique for that. You know what? There is. When I was a mascot, I had a lift up cheerleaders and it was, it did not go well. I can't take another mascot story. I was a very good mascot. I was a great mascot. But I'm just saying, it was hard. So, they cupped this lift and she runs and I figure, okay, this is where like the fact that she's in this bloody dress can have some impact on something,

but they do the lift and he lifts her up and it's great. And then like her dress like, it falls, you hear a rip. Yeah, you hear it goes where it is. I guess the whole thing is because it wasn't her size, but they didn't really set that up or something But then they said it's just like he was like you look nice. He's like, it's a little tight That's all we had to say yeah, or she should have been like oh or doing this, but like Nothing there was just like it just falls off for no good reason It wasn't set up at all and then and then like and then like when it falls off

He's like, oh no, I'm suddenly weak and he drops And then it's like, oh, but then in the next scene, the dress is back on again. And there's like a strap. And I'm like, so there were straps there. So why didn't it fall forward? Do you know how to put it on your strap dress? You can not full gay men. We know about a pair of. Yeah.

We know about physics. We were all like that dress was fine the entire time. Liars. And also now she's all upset because her dresses, like she showed her boobs on a knee. This girl would not care. She'd be like, I was really dangerous. I was like that.

I'd be showing my tits everywhere. Hey. Yeah, so it'd be naked right now. My tits. Hey, everybody. But you know what, it was good for them, again, to reference maybe one of, if not the best romantic comedies of all time to remind us that we're not watching dirty dancing because they got to say that's not a romantic comedy.

Baby, dirty dancing is a romantic comedy. It is. What's that? I mean, there's some like sad parts, but yes, a romantic, it's romantic drama. It's a movie with social messages, and I know this because I just watched two nights ago A behind the scenes on the making of dirty dancing. Oh wow. Whoa. Yes.

Social messages and class. It's great. That's what I thought it was about. But there's like a special thing on Netflix that's like behind the scenes on movies and they have on a dirty dancing. It was fantastic. No, it's a drama. It is.

That's sister. It's funny. I haven't seen this in so long. You can watch the video. I haven't seen this in so long. Yeah. I haven't seen this in so long. Yeah, I haven't seen this in so long. That girl. The point is this.

The point is this. It's time for New Year's and this douche bag, I don't care if they're going to kiss or not. Who walks away when it's like 11.59. He's got a way to do. Well, they got in a fight because she's like, nobody drops a baby on her head. He's like, I don't have to check this. Like, what? You dropped her. So then he just leave again. Let's change it and make it better. Yeah. Nobody, nobody drops baby on her her call. And I do that for you. So he leaves all mad and then comes back for some reason right after, right after the countdown. And we're mad because I'm naked and covered in wine and on mad because she got mad at me for dropping around the floor in front of people Yeah, and she has like FOMO, you know, so she's so she's also kind of annoying because she's not being honest with herself

Yeah, which I went I was was like you don't you didn't want this It's too early in the movie for you to have a change of heart I mean it really is so much a good message for women to say, women, you should doubt yourself, not trust your instincts, and always feel insecure in your decisions. And go out with people who say your ugly. So, y'all, this is definitely something to watch with your daughter, your niece's.

Yeah, girl power. Power, not. So he drops her home and he's like, well, tonight didn't't sock I actually had a fairly decent time which actually felt like a very authentic thing that someone like him would say and he's like her valentines day and she's like no she's like I might have a chance to hook up with somebody be a dad I was like not with that not with that so you do want to be someone Yeah, now she's looking again. I guess So now now we're like in February it's Valentine's day and they're in some sort of like chocolate store

They're like so so she's there. She's there. Sloan is there with her sister again This family does fucking too much together. Yeah, but they're like it's like her what's her sister's name again? It's like it's probably Lily or's name again? It's like, you know, it's probably like Lily or something. Lily, and then Liz, the like future, future sister-in-law, and they're like sitting at a table in the chocolate year. I'm like, why are they at a table in like a store? Why is there a table there?

But they're there. They're at the ladies' date. I thought they were looking at bridal invitations or something. Yeah, they were looking at cards or something. Yeah, that's what they were looking at invitations for her wedding. Oh, so they're looking at her those

because you know, it's Valentine's Day and someone's getting married. They have to make it as miserable for her. Yes, I only know that because I've unfortunately, I've always get chosen to be the gate turn of honor to be a best man at somebody's fucking wedding. Oh, I'm sorry.

You've done so many times. That's a lot. So she's gonna, like they're like, are you gonna go out with someone on Valentine's Day? And she's like, no, I'm going to like go home and drink wine and you chocolate and watch porn on Valentine's Day, which is funny because just before she was saying she was hoping

that she wouldn't be in that situation, but fine. I'm happy being single. That's it. Again, yay women. Yeah. And then, and then like, well, what about the mall guy? And she's like, ew, he can't even speak English. She says, Kaki, like, Kaki, like, Kaka-Mami.

That's such a weird line. He can't even speak English. It sounds like, it sounds like something like something like someone would scream at like a white power rally. Yeah, it's like ew. He's so handsome and has like an Australian accent and his like- Yeah, everyone makes that up. A professional athlete ew. Speak English, Dundee!

Also, she says he can't even speak English, but she was just in love with a French guy Just blew a hole in the movie Ronnie just ruined the movie maybe it's a I don't know poodle use your gift Maybe she was does he have bdf which one? Highlights You know, it's a gift you can tell. What is it? Big dick. Big dick. Friend me.

Big dick. Friend me. Uh, it's face. So you can see it in the face. It's all big dick face. Yeah. But um, it's, it's pretty substantial. I think that's why she's holding on to it.

I don't know. I mean, he's made it, he's made it on the Netflix. I would assume it's pretty decent sized. Right. I looked him up and he hasn't really been in that much. No, he was in shock break. I'm like, I have to kill B.A. more stuff. He was very handsome. He's very handsome. He definitely showed he could be funny.

And he can deliver dialogue. I actually love him. They seemed, I sometimes feel like he was like her uncle, because he didn't look like, but I just feel like she looked so young and he doesn't look old. He looks, you know, definitely. He's definitely some heavy cream that you need to turn into some, like, gritton before it goes bad.

Like, he's like right at that stage. Yeah, his eyes, especially. The eyes with the frickly eyes were so big. It's funny, because the entire time I was thinking it was Bryce Dallas Howard and I'm like why aren't how are they making your place so young when she like literally ran Jurassic Park like she was like She was like the administrator of an amusement park and one movie and now she's just like this young little something So this makes a lot more sense to me No, I'm not even joking. I literally had that thought.

I was like, how is it that she's like running at a dangerous amusement park? And then in this movie, she like a barely upright zoom. God, here we go. Oh my God. And that brings us to the end of part two. We will be back tomorrow with part three. Go check out 90 day gays, wherever you get your podcasts. And again, if you want these videos, just come over to patreon.com slash watch what crap

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