Watch What Crappens - Pump Rules: Coming for Tom

Episode Date: October 21, 2021

This week on Vanderpump Rules, Sandoval loses his mind about Katie trying to help in the new bar. Meanwhile, Shwartz needs to ejaculate into a cup. Fun times!Watch this recap with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/57660248Get tix to our live shows: http://watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Kids, one happens when they're so wild and only Ronnie, Karam, what's going on? How are you? Hi, how are you? Do I look a little dark? I look like I'm in the dark today.

You look, you are a little darker than usual. This is crap and is on demand everyone. And if you're not familiar with this, crap and is on demand is basically we turn on our web games and we are not stripping. Sorry, it's not only fans, but we are podcasting. So if you want to watch us podcast, usually Builer climbs up on the sofa behind Ronnie and

he cuddles up. So like if you just also just want to watch a really cute dog, you can watch it. But go to patreon.com slash watcher crappens for that. And today we're going to be talking Vanderpump rules, which is exciting. But of course, in case you missed the big announcement earlier this week, we are going back on tour. Whoa. Are you getting your like going on there?

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. We're going back on tour. Yeah, it looks good. We're going back on tour. The tickets go on sale for every venue on Friday at 10am. We're going to 21 cities. Okay.

We're not going to release in the city's drips and draps. Those are the 21s you see are the 21 you get We're not gonna be annoying you with like announcement after announcement after announcement. There's also a million cities So we're also gonna just just go to the website watch or crap is calm. You will see all the all the cities Some of the venues actually are doing their own pre-sales So if you're on their newsletters and stuff, you can probably actually get a ticket right now. But the tickets go on sale to everyone at 10 a.m. on Friday, which is super cool and it's gonna be so fun. And of course our very first show back is gonna be in New York City and it's our 10 year anniversary show.

And it's also the Golden Crappies. So that show at town hall is gonna be huge and it's also gonna be very special to us. So we really hope that people come to all the shows and especially that one because that one has a huge meta-sentimental value to us. So that's the hunky-dory tour and the other thing I want to say before we dive into all this is that we have a really fun episode coming out on Friday, a little different. We are doing an episode with Miss Analy Ashford who you can currently see on American Crime Story and Peachment, she plays Paula Jones, and also on B positive on CBS. She also won a Tony, which I'm like really obsessed with

because I feel like it's so cool that she won a Tony. So we are just talking Bravo, a lot of like, Salt Lake City and stuff. So that's gonna be a fun little episode on Friday for us all to listen to. Ronnie, do you have anything else to add to that? I feel like a... Sure, I don't.

I spent that time getting my lights together. I saw. I felt like this was a perfect vamping opportunity for me. I was like Ronnie's fixing his AV a little bit. I can talk about what's going on. That's cool in the podcast. I'm standing today at the standing desk, so I feel energized. Just a great day.

Okay. It's a great day. A podcast, or what? Well, it's a day of Vanderpump, Ruus. Vanderpump, Ian Ruus. There were some gossip, Ronnie, today about these of Vanderpump. Actually, it's funny, because beforehand,

you were rousing me a little bit because I seem to be oblivious to Bravo gossip, you know, sometimes. And I did read this. Did you read this, Ronnie? Today's Vandered Pump gossip. I sure did. So what I was telling you about silly. No, I thought you were talking about a different piece of gossip. But you tell your gossip and then I'll tell you your gossip. I'm sure it's the same gossip like what else? I'll be I mean yesterday I went on Twitter and I'm laying in bed And I almost pooped because I saw that real housewives of New York was trending and I was like oh my god Please don't let it get be canceled because you know a lot of times Some things are trending on Twitter's because people are dead, you know

I hate that it's like can I have some good news? Why isn't like, you know, sail on, you know, breadsticks? Why isn't that trending? It's always like somebody's trade, you know. Yeah. Hashtag sail on breadsticks. Make a trend, people. Oh, yeah. So I got scared and looked at it.

And there's all this gossip because Dave Quinn, who writes for People magazine, okay, for Betty? We note Dave Quinn. We met him at Liam Buckens, we had a guy. Okay. He came out with his book, Not All Diamonds and Rose, which is out now, just came out yesterday.

So the book came out yesterday, and of course everybody started flipping through those pages to see what should they could stir in the world. And good stuff came out. Real Housewives of New York was trending because Ramona and Carol gave interviews for this book saying that Bethany set up the whole Tom thing. But it's about Tom. And that she had a friend who's like, listen, whenever you see Tom at the Regency, let me know. So she had a friend call her. And then she, Bethany

sent somebody down there to take pictures of Tom. Wow. Making out with this. Not surprising. That's still, still worth a wow. Wow, Bethany, wow. Yeah, I'm not surprising, but then it makes it so much worse because Bethany was the one who broke her the news and she was sobbing a bed and someone was like, yeah, notice that of course she's sobbing a bed, but conveniently has a bottle of skinny girl to drink because she's so stressed. Like, she's just so bottle of skinny girl to drink because she's so stressed. She's just so, it's just so dark. It's like, let me ruin Lou An's life while plugging my drink

and then, you know, everything else. And then the other piece was Lisa Vanderpump. Producers say that Lisa Vanderpump was the one who leaked. Oh, I didn't realize I came from Dave's book. I thought that was just, so that was what it was. That's what I saw. That a producer said that Vanderpump I read I read a thing. Of course, it's from Dave's book. It was literally like pros. And what I read was that Vanderpump had wanted to make Teddy feel bad or something. And basically when she felt like she could no longer control the

narrative, that's when she leaked it and that she wants it. Everyone to sit down and like, was it to apologize to her or be like, we understand or we misunderstood you or something and the producers were like, we can't do that for you. And so, um, Sid and Lisa leaked the story. Yeah. So we'll talk, we'll talk more in depth about it on the Beverly Hills recap tomorrow because I think Beverly Hills people will want to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. It's been a unmas people will want to talk about it. But yeah, it's been a unmasking type of And you know, there's some of the underpump rules gossip too, just to throw in there. Just stupid gossip. That's already it already has traveled its arc and

basically Lala and Rand broke up and basically Lala and Rand did not break up. So they're apparently back together at home and people are suspecting that's because Lala and Rand did not break up. So they're apparently back together at home and people are suspecting that's because Lala wanted to drive interest in her book. I think anyone who is interested in Lala gossip is not someone who is inherently interested in reading her.

Reading, reading, just reading. I don't think they're like huge Lala stands who would be the kind of person to buy a book would buy a book Yeah, I don't think that like La La stands are like oh my god. Did you see what happened with La La wait? Hold on one second my joys carol oats book just arrived one second, you know Life is an interesting you're some girl from Utah no offense to Utah I'm just saying like you're some girl from someplace. We've seen the interesting parts of your life Okay, we've seen the interesting parts of your life. We've seen the interesting parts of Utah.

Yeah, we went from hosting a some restaurant to doing the range of everything and being in movies with Bruce Willis. That is your story. We've seen it and it was free. It was a free. Well, it was a surprise of cable, except for some of you who would just rather go online. But even then, still you need a VPN. So we paid a little already.

That's all you're getting from us, ma'am. You can try all your painting on the wall fonts to sell your book that you want. But nobody cares about you and Rand's relationship enough to buy a book about it. Now that's, or really even to care, even if it was a true thing that happened. So on that note, guys, let's get into some Vanderpump rules.

We got some nice gossip out of the way there. That was fun. Of course, I'm not even, I have to scroll through all my notes here. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. Basically, this episode that starts off back in Rachella. Oh, so it starts off in Rachella and we're back with like James and Rachele, like proposing and everything at the end of last episode. I know I got mad. I don't know if you got mad, I'll remember because I was like, I can't believe Tom Sandevol just told everyone and like,

didn't let James have his moment. But apparently that was actually like James had requested that Tom do that because and then we see that when they come out of like this proposal thing, they all have like their little sort of like confetti guns and everything and they should move off. So, you know, they all have like their little sort of like confetti guns and everything and they should move off. So, you know, I may have pre-judged that situation. I'm sorry to everyone involved.

Yeah, I wasn't mad at that. I mean, look, you spend 15 grand or whatever, 13 and a half, 12 and a half grand, God look at my math, my math is terrible. That's why I'm a podcaster, okay? I don't do math, but I'm 12 and a half grand for somebody. You can announce whatever the fuck you want Okay, yeah, tell whatever secrets he wants. So yeah, so they're celebrating and there's a lot of woos

Also, by the way, don't spend 12 and a half grand for your friends engagement You know what's called it's called go to Carbell and get fudgy the whale and be like congratulations Here's an ice cream cake. Let's all eat done. It's called on a television show Call up vendors and say you're gonna be on a television show. Call up vendors and say you're going to be on a television show and give me shit for free. Do I have you work with Lisa Vanderpump? She's a queen at this, you know, Kyle Richards, all the, you need to hook up with all the people who know how to get some free shit from being on TV. Thomas, okay. It's called put up a green screen and like connect it to your

max, you know, screensaver fireworks. You're done. You don't have to spend $25,000 on this. Okay. Yeah. Um, so Tom, yeah, now it's the only just repel. And then James brings them out and Rikkel's just so happy. She's like, I'm so frowned by friends. I have a festival named after me. I'm gonna be the future Mrs. James Kennedy. I'm gonna be the future Mrs. James Kennedy. I wonder who's gonna be the first one to break it to Raquel that there's not an actual music festival named after her.

I think she thinks that Coachella actually just rebranded its entire thing. Like it's all, it's now called Raquelna now, you know? She's already got the main event, DJing in her living room every day. So James is like, oh, we'll never forget what Tom Sendafall did for me. He's the best friend of me. Oh no, I know I mean he has shorts. Come on, he's my best friend.

So he's all excited and giddy and Raquel calls her mom. And she's like, mom, the box said Tiffany. It's from Tiffany because the box said it. box said Tiffany. It's from Tiffany because the box said it. Girl, that box is lying. And of course, he went and got a fake asked Tiffany box to give her that ring. It was probably a box set of like Tiffany Pollard from I Love New York. Like her greatest hits or something. Oh my god, Tiffany. So I'll see the case from Tiffany. It was actually just Tiffany's album from 1988.

Exactly. So, um, uh, so anyway, yes, so she's like, Tiffany is where the princesses get their jewelry. I'm like, I kind of feel like like princesses just get their jewelry from like, I don't know, like, raiding other countries or something. So, uh, we don't really know how it's worked out for princesses. I mean, if you ever go to Into the Woods, leave after the first act of your show. Okay.

You're like hell gonna shatter that. And then we get that clip of James' mom being like, Well, I said you should, you took your first steps and saw the fucking Tiffany's. Well, it's my favorite breakfast place. So then Ariana's like, Ariana's like talking to Ta, or she's like, I've cried like five times. I'm very serious about crying. I've moved on from comedy and I'm into cry acting.

And I'm very serious about it. And when we pulled in and we saw that we were coming to the grounds, I'm like, we're on the Coachella grounds Like there are so many memories attached to this like like one time I sat on Tom's shoulders and we're in a crowd. I mean like I will remember that shoulder ride for the rest of my life see the crying. I'm very serious about it very serious She really did love that shoulder ride and the way she she's complimenting him, because you know, Tom really needs like the compliments, right? So he's just like taking it seriously, like he's being, he's on the actor studio,

where that dude James looked in his like, do you remember working first with Lawrence Olivier? And he's like, he's like really serious about it. It's like, yeah, the fire works. Yeah, yeah. And so then he has his moment to talk about it. And she's like, you, this has you written all over it. I mean, listen to the balloons, even the balloon sound like you.

Some was just like letting air out. And Tom's like, there's a balloon. I really wanted to do. Fuck you, Katie. It's just Tom playing the trumpet badly. So Tom's like, I wanted to do. Fuck you, Katie. Just Tom playing the trumpet, badly. So Tom's like, I wanted to do something so special, you know, like it was really important to me

to recreate something amazing. And Ariana's like, Tom, you do this all the time. You know, you're always making things special for me. It's like the time we went to Disney World and you let me ride on your shoulders there to God, I love riding on shoulders. It's so fun. So she's like, well, I mean, if he asked me to marry him like this, I mean, maybe I would say yes.

Please don't. Like, I love you too. I'm not saying don't get married. Get married. Do it off camera. Okay. Well, she said that. She said as long as no one else is there.

Okay. Well, the engagement part, right? But like just me and like once you're engaged and you do the TV, wedding and stuff, okay? Yeah, Tom's like, dude, the real problem is that like, you know, Ariana said she's totally fine with me proposing to her, but she just wants to be on my shoulders when it happens. So when you're trying to take a knee and someone's

on your shoulders and you're trying to propose up to your head, it just doesn't work out, dude. I can't do it, dude. So we know it's like a super happy event because they've got the most positive Trixi monical song playing ever. Yeah, I really can't get her addiction today. I was trying for all of her songs because they had a lot of new ones that weren't all just like two word songs. Like Trixi really does well with two word songs. Yeah. Love you, love you, or like on light, does well with two word songs. Like, love you, love you, or like, on weight, on weight, on weight today.

Like, so I had another third word for the bridge or something, but there's a lot of words. There's this song that's like, I know that you're worth it. Give up your worth it. Given up when you're worth it. Looking at you in the sunshine. It's like this too many lyrics. I'm watching Vanderpump rules. I need two or three words, that's it

Well you know the thing is that she, you know Ariana Grande actually has had a very large impact on the music industry And so she's like, alright Paul, I see what works Ariana Grande, okay, she only articulates every 10th syllable, so here's what we're gonna do now, okay Ergo, I'm not, I'm seven, you're doing it. And seven, we're gonna go, girls. And that's the one we do, yeah. How'd that sound, Paul? Okay, just release that, release that to Vandepun brules, okay?

Just send it. Send it. She's in the sound booth with like her high ponytail, but it's like always off-center. She can't quite ever get it right, because she's tricky. She has a kitten heel instead of boots. Just sort of off, you know.

And then Brock is dancing just like you think he would. Yes. He's like a mix between wreck it Ralph and like a leprechaun finding gold. He's like, like, he's like moving his arms like this. And he looked like he was either fighting off a possession or maybe he was like, or he had already been possessed like all of me, like Lily Tomlin was inside of him trying to do a Lily Tomlin dance. He's like, no, I'm gonna do an ol' sea of him trying to do a Lily Tomlin dance. He's like, no, I'm gonna do an OC dance. No, not a Lily Tomlin dance.

OC dance. Like some weird half Australian, half Lily Tomlin spectacle. So back at the house, because like guys, I'm engaged. And while I was like, I know, do you think you're gonna like a bump pee-paste tonight? Cause like when me and Rand got engaged engaged we were too fucked up to have socks And Rickah was like of course we're gonna bump Hmm tonight and everyone's like oh my god Rickah, I was just talking like this and then of course she knows like Um my boobs are telling me to go home and like my daughter needs to eat soon

So I gotta go cuz I have a daughter at home He eats soon, so I gotta go. Cause I have a daughter at home. And Brock mutters to Ariana, he's like, welcome to Parent Loiff and Lala hears him and she tells us, welcome to Parent Life. You have other children, you haven't seen in four years. You're not getting any data words.

Okay. Yeah, and then Lala, first of all, Lala weighing in on this, I'm okay with other people weighing in on this, but I don't want to hear Lala weigh in on this. Lala who has spent so much energy saying like, you know, you guys don't even know our relationship, you don't know our relationship, you cannot judge, you're not in our relationship, you know, she's sort of given that energy and then she's totally doing it. Okay, so one thing if we do it because we have a very good track record of making wild, you know, accusations and assumptions about people on TV that we don't know. But we, but Lala, I don't feel like Lala has a leg to stand on with this. And I'm

by leg, I mean, a chicken leg of which Randall has just. Well, didn't she didn't, didn't Rand leave his wife and children for Lala? Yes. Yes. Okay. Talk about father of the year. So then Lala, of course. I'm a New Zealand America and sees his kid. So it's not like exactly the same thing, but you're right. There's not many likes to stand on with this one. Yeah, and then of course Lala. Lala can't let Shina be the only one to be like,

I have a baby on home, so Lala says, you guys, I'm going to go and feed my baby. I have a baby at home. Can you believe I have a baby at home? I'm a mama. I'm a mama. I'm a mom to you. So she. I'm a mama. I'm a mama. So she leaves and then the shorts

is sit down for more actor studio about how great the party was. And shorts is like, that was just so perfect. I mean, it was amazing. Tom Baba, it was amazing. And he's like, yeah, because I felt like if you're gonna propose to Rikael, we have to do it like amazing.

I mean, you know, amazing fireworks. Like there has to be a show, dude. Mm-hmm. And he says that it costs $25,000 and shorts is like, oh, we were opening a bar, try to open a bar. We had only that of financing, yeah. Like that's a significant chunk of change. Like, ah, man, and stand up all like, dude, I don't know how to do tiny, yeah, like that's a significant chunk of change. Like, ah, man, and Santa Claus, like, dude,

I don't know how to do tiny, dude, sorry. And so he, Santa Claus does explain that he and James did split the $25,000, which is still ridiculous. And he says that nothing brings him more joy than helping a friend accomplish a dream. So there it is. Text him. Like every friend he has a

texting him right now. Carve okay. You know what? I'm always dreamt of going on a boat. Um, so then Schwartz is like, dude, what I saw tonight? I'm like so impressed. Like you can name the bar. You can name the bar. Okay. So basically, he's like, yeah,

name the bar. So that way I can blame this all on you and not take any heat from my wife Trady, okay. Yeah, yeah, and he's basically like I mean I know everyone's gonna say I'm caving but like I hope you know like Like I'm not caving and Santa was like dude. I hope you don't feel like caving. I hope you realize you're a Cave implies that you once actually had enough strength to hold up a ceiling and you've always just been Just a pile of rocks. So, dude, don't feel bad Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney battle and we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast Disantel each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So in the morning everybody is getting up and leaving cleaning and leaving and stuff and is getting up and leaving, cleaning and leaving and stuff. And James is running around the interview room screaming for Chela. And Katie is talking to shorts. So Katie and shorts wake up and she's like, oh my God, I don't wanna open my eyes yet.

And he's like, wow, I'm just so impressed with Tom's follow through. Like that was nuts. And she's like, I mean, all this stuff that Tom, like you and Tom have been working on and he has time to plan a festival like that's pretty good because yeah he can name the bar pretty way and Katie just Katie tells us like what the fuck Tom you got steamroll and he goes yeah and he still wants me to

name it she still wants to name it shorts and sandies and I can learn to love it. Look. I did it with you Okay, poor Katie starts every day of her life having to groan about some dumb shit that Tom has done Yeah, no so Katie's like oh my god way to be assertive shorts Like don't be a sap of a she's like you took a hugely forward and then you took like a huge leap back He's like no actually it's one step forward and two steps back. Just two steps back, not a leap. Yeah, we're on you too. Lady, you doesn't know English very well. Now it's not the time to be correcting someone's saying. I love MC's cat cat. So then Katie is like the only thing I want to grow on me is the hair in my head and my fingernails and everything else stayed the fuck away from me, especially the name Schwarz

and Sand is. So they have to clean and get out of there and James and Raquel leave first, which I think is kind of funny. I guess because she had to get back to work. Yeah. It's so kind of funny. It's like the person who just had all of this money spent on them for this massive party. He's like, oh, I gotta go. So everybody else cleans.

And then back in LA, Vanderpump is driving with some kind of filter on her face. I have to know it looks like a piece of paper with two holes punched in it. Yeah, I've noticed that Bravo has been doing this because actually I'm Beverly Hills. I never mentioned this, but a few episodes ago, like some of the Duret interviews, like clearly have some sort of like CGI face filtering to make their stars look better, cause she literally looks like she's in a PS2 game. It's like her head, it's almost attached from her body

cause there's so much filtering that like it has like a different lighting to it. It's sort of like floating around. I'm like, what is Bravo doing to these women right now? Yeah, we got an advanced screener through a friend. Sorry, not gonna say who it is, because we'll get in trouble. But we got to see an advanced screener

and the reunion is terrifying. I mean, when you've watched the reunion, how Bravo's airing it, and then you watch the before the effects come on, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's not even age-shaming, it's just shocking to your, it's like trying to put two realities to get.

Trying to make it make sense. Make it make sense. So it's like Snapchat filters. That's the thing, because Bravo basically used Snapchat filters, So yeah, Lisa Lisa was gonna be like a deer just gonna have like little deer ears Everyone's just gonna be smiley faces So yeah, where your eyes are really big

That's a good impersonation of that. So so now Lisa's in her car. Hey, oh, mr. Kennedy because calls up on the phone. He's, Harley saw, how goes it? Oh, it was absolutely magical. Everything went to plan. Magic, did you say? And she pulls out a rabbit. I'm on a flying bicycle at the moment, so I understand magic. Now listen, what was the ring like? I need the details.

And he's like, oh, I've got Tiffany. Tiffany got from Titchie because which Tiffany? The one on rodeo drive. So she can sense that he's just completely lying. And he's like, well, I got my friend from, I got the diamond from my friend, who's actually a diamond dealer downtown. I got it through him.

So you got a diamond. From Kyle Chan. Yes. Kyle Chan is not Tiffany. And Sleese goes, so you didn't get it from Tiffany. He goes, no, no, no, I got a through him so you got a clown Cal chance Yes, Cal chance is not definitely and at least he goes so you didn't get it from Tiffany goes No, no, I got I got a Tiffany diamond. It just I never said I got it from Tiffany I got it from someone who listens to Tiffany, okay, and just I don't understand I'm trying to have a broken bird moment for you, but I can't have it if you're lying to me Listen here knock off bird. I can't have a Tiffany ring and a fake Tiffany box. All right

Sport guys given away more rings than Neil Lane. How does Kyle make a profit? I don't know he has he has definitely done a lot of he's really pitched himself on to a strange ride with the show So so James is like well, I think I did a pretty good job of it, and like the whole gang was there, and the only person that wasn't there was Max, unfortunately. You know, I wanted him to be there, but I also knew like, that people don't do burn the desert, if you know what I'm saying, Lisa, you know what I'm saying, or that fuck your son is. He's also one of the only ones who actually shows up to work ever. Yes, he's like, well, I don't know how ready Max is to reestablish your relationship.

You know that it was pretty tense, James, pretty tense. He's like, well, don't cut me out of Max's life quite yet. Lisa, I've got some tricks up, Masley. And Lisa said, Oh, allusions. Ooh, I'm pulling scarves out of my earlobes as you speak. Go ahead. So Lisa says, Max doesn't want to hear it.

He is done. But I think James needs Max in his life. I'm like Lisa, you're standing up for the wrong person in the situation, that is your son. Well, like James can find someone else, okay? He can find someone else. So James is telling her that he's gonna go have dinner with his family and Rekel's family.

And Vanderpump asks if they get along and he's like, Well, sister Kay is the top cookie. She asks me questions, lots and lots of questions. She's like, well, of course you haven't betrayed yourself as a prince charming in the past, darling, try to behave yourself. As like glitter falls from the ceiling and whatever the filter is. and the past darling try to be a behavioral soul. As like glitter falls from the ceiling and whatever the filter is. So then we go to Katie and Tom's house and they're reading fertility questions because

they've been, you know, Katie's talking about how, you know, how they've been trying to have a baby and everything. And basically shorts has to jerk off into a cup and bring the specimen to the lab or the doctor or whatever. And in order to do this, he said that he's invited Sandevol to come over to help him transport the goods because he was worried about getting himself to the doctor. I'm like, we joke a lot about how useless shorts is, but this is actually, like, true uselessness. I mean, I just get a... He's really just leaned into it.

He's like, no, I mean, he's so speech-to-shit. I'm never even gonna make an effort to do anything right. Yeah, he's just not even gonna do it. He's not even gonna call an Uber at this point. So Katie, of course, is annoying because SantaVal is 100% present, 100% over the time.

It's like, guess where else he's going to be present? His restaurant, the he owns, that you're trying to get into. How are you thinking? Yeah, exactly. So he's like, please don't tell anybody about my seam in fame. So then we go to Lala and Rand's house, and Lala has so many books. Like Lala really is a reader.

For sure, they're all her book. Yeah, just stacks. Yeah, so two ladies come over to train them and do that in honor of a special, the exercise thing where you just put on some outfit and it shocks you until you feel like you got to poop yourself. I really want to do that one, but I'm also afraid it might have some strange side effect

that no one knows about like with cool sculpting, how it turns out that like you might get a Linda of Angelica situation where you develop kind of like bars of butter in your skin. So I'm like a little nervous, but I also love the idea of just like zapping away, getting into shape by like the electrocution. Yeah.

Well, you know there are side effects to regular working out too. I mean, it turns yourcution. Yeah. Well, you know, there are side effects to regular working out too. I mean, it turns your body hard. You're disgusting. Yes. So then Lala is like, having a baby means that your body is no longer yours. An ocean is attached to me 24-7.

It's hard not to feel like some sort of farm animal. Oh my God, I never knew that. I never knew that's what it felt like to be a new mom. I'm so glad that she finally articulated that for all of America. Wow, an original, original thought there. So Katie comes over and she's all nervous because these two girls have like, they're like, hi, who's ready to work out? Okay, I'm gonna write a workout. Okay, cool. Here is a giant electricity generator and we're just gonna zap you on that. It's just one of those things where Katie's looking

at basically C3PO over there, and it's like, what is happening here? Yeah, so they're both like, oh my God, I got a poop. I got a pee, I got a pee and poop. I got a poop and pee, I'm gonna poop, poop, poop. And then they leave, and so they start talking about the real stuff, when are you going to the doctor? And Katie's like, well, Tom and I are gonna test my levels.

When we were trying, I was like, oh my God, I have a feeling it might be this month, but then it was like five to five months of back to back with that and it's depressing. Yeah, and she felt really perilous about it and everything. And Lala is asking if Schwartz is like, like, can't tell if Schwartz would be nervous or excited and Katie thinks it'll be nervous or whatever. And then she tells Lala that that had like sand devolves coming over

to help Schwartz with his sperm sample. And then we go over to shorts and sand evolve. And sand evolve shows up and he's got like a little, he made like a little basket of like various accessories one might need for drinking off, which again, like you have to really think about like sand evolve. I appreciate you making dreams come true for your friends, but again, Carvel cake, just pure Carvel cake. I think a Carvel cake is good in any situation.

Yeah, he's, but you know, he's having an episode without costumes. So he's bringing props, proper, proper. So he's got a soft towel, some astro glide. He's like, I know you, I was going to bring heated, but I know you like a cold HJ. He's like, I do like a cold HJ, which is so fitting that he married Katie, because you know, that's a cold HJ. He's like, I do like a gold H.J. Which is so fitting that he married Katie because you know that's a gold H.J. Oh, I thought he meant going to Howard Johnson's. He likes a cold Howard Johnson's. So, yeah, he got a cool H.J. Another mist restaurant name. So, um, so yeah, so he got him a sand of all got him a one of the paltrow vagina.

He got him all these things and including it went with paltrow vagina candle. He goes, oh, I need that one back. That's a barra by the way. That, you know, that's on the loan. I love the idea of like a loan or a coin of the paltrow but candle. Are those things expensive? They must be. I don't know.

Sand of all this clutch, he always comes through for me. Wait, comes for me. Wait, comes for me. Wait, comes in me. He comes for me and I come for him. Damn it. He's really helping me pull this off. Damn it. So yeah, so then it's like we're seeing minutes go by,

two minutes, six minutes, 11 minutes, and then, and then shorts like, oh, as much as I'm regretting inviting San Devall here at the Vagina Candles, a nice touch. Oh, so then 60 minutes later, he comes out looking pretty spent with his specimen. It's great moment. It's actually been basically a great moment for all of us.

Yeah. Basically, we're spending our life like Katie is spending her life now. Just waiting for Schwartz to come. That's important. So Katie and Lalla are together still. And Katie's like, so how was your play day with Sheena? She's like, oh my God, so cute.

We got into the discussion about Brock because she know Brock has two kids. It got kind of weird. That got kind of weird. And she's like, what do you mean? She's like, well, I could tell Sheena got strange. Like, he has no spoken to his kids in four years. Yeah, like nothing. And like, I can't help but think about Sheena.

Like, if you guys don't work out, you run the risk of him being done with both of you. I'm like, Lala, you realize a relationship that you're in right now and that you're having fake breakups with, you realize you're with Rand. You know, you know what happened to Rand's last family, right? Yeah. And I like that she points that out a little later in the episode.

At least there's some self-awareness there, you know. Yeah. But she's like, this is the pattern for Sheena. I'm like, have you watched the opening of the show? She mistilkant, carry a drink without spilling it all over the damn place. Yeah. She goes, she ignores every sign, and now that I am a mom,

I look at things very different. Okay, I am worried for Summer Moon, because Summer Moon's dad has a tendency to kick the woman and the children to the curb. Okay. And Lala's like, guys, the stakes, oh, she tells Katie, she's like, Katie, the stakes are much higher

once you have the baby. Like in that way, like you can only understand if you're a mother, which is just kind of showing who Lala is right after she's, right after Katie's talking about fertility issues. Lala's like, it's different for me because you know I'm a mom. Katie's like, mm hmm, you fuck.

Katie, a baby Ruth doesn't count. Katie's like, Katie, a baby Ruth doesn't count. Katie's just sitting there like, is the PJ really worth this? Like I've gotten to go to Vegas two times on that fucking thing. Do I still have to be honest with this bitch? That's exactly right. Katie, release yourself from this hell, please.

So I'm not trying to scare you away Release yourself from this hell, please So Fuck off you Oh god Rick head and so I had to see that go fucking drive us and more rock everyone and my rock This is Raquel and Raquel and James and a car are on the highway with a street. Yeah, so he's yelling at a driver and he's like, okay, Rick Helm, you have the gift for Max. Alright, so give it to Max and let him know that I'm thinking of him and I'll miss him. You know how to say it, you know, just say it in your way.

Let him know that I'm done disrespecting and I'm working on my anger issues. It's like 22 seconds ago. Just fucking go, your back fuck. Raquel, I just want you to say these things. Listen, just think of it like, like, like, like, you're like, you're toasting him, like you're cheering him. She's like, oh, why are you doing this to me? Why are you making me say things to people on this part? This is my name. I know. He's like stand up at the table and clink a glass.

And then tell him, I'm trying to extend this all of branch. And then, you know, look, until I clear things up with him, I'm going to feel like this is elephant in my world. I mean, he's still an elephant if he lacks me, but at least he's an elephant that can get me pay checks. Right? I don't want a sad elephant that makes me poor. I want a happy elephant who's going to pay

for the pre-workout pears. So he says, you know, I've said Sora to Max countless times and I don't get to say it again without a gesture that says, listen, I fucked up. So it clicked. I got Max and Oculus 2, okay? It's virtual reality, which is what we all live in, you know, I'm saying. So like, what's not to love about virtual reality? What's not to love about a big, clunky gaming system that only has a few games? Am I right? Am I right? And we're girls like, well I'm really excited to show Lisa my ring. And he's like, well be careful walking around with plates and stuff. You're ding it. One wrong move and boom, it'll be ding.

Do you not ding the ring? The ring is too nice to ding, right? The ring didn't mean a ding, okay? You know, it's very difficult, it's made a play, though. So, she was like, but isn't it supposed to be the strongest thing? It's not, it's not an expert of ring, okay? Okay, like you're not meant to ding it. I will get so pissed off for a kill.

I don't think you should be wearing it to work. It's kind of ridiculous. Don't wear a ring to work. Okay, here's what you wear to work, okay, I'll tell you where to wear to work. A napkin, put a napkin around your finger and that'll be your ring, okay Raquel, because that we can wipe up Spill's two, okay, ring cat wipe up Spill's Raquel. And she's like, that isn't, isn't it diamond supposed to be the strongest thing?

And he's like, no, it's too expensive not meant to be a ding. I swear, I'm gonna get pissed and she's like, no, it's too expensive not meant to be a dang. I swear, I'm going to get pissed and shake, but I want to show it to Lisa. And he's like, well, this is the last time you're going to wear it to work. Did Joe Gorgon make this ring with some materials he stole from home, like from Home Depot? Like, what the hell? Where does this ring from with your fake Tiffany box? Yeah, what is this? I'm falling for this. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, she's like, what is the point of having a gorgeous Tiffany ring if you can't show it at work

and make everyone a little jelly? Oh honey, you're marrying James. Yeah. Nobody is jealous, can't he? Exactly. I mean, you know, maybe the Tiffany part, but. So then let's go to Tom Tom. The Tom's come in to meet Vanderpump and...

Oh, boys! Yes, she comes in and then she sits down and Richard's in and is like, Lisa, do you want some tea? And she's like, oh, Richard's in those. Oh, my needs, yes! And then like a string of it's like Jojo and Logan. All these waiters come to bring her tea.

I was like, wow, they really don't have anything to do in there right now, do they? So she's like, how was the weekend in Santa Vals? Like, wow, like it was amazing. Like it took a lot of organization. They wrote like professional fireworks. It was pro, bro. And it's works is like, I really think you're underselling the fireworks.

Oh, well, I wondered if there'd be some sort of explosion there. And Sandevol says, well, speaking of which, Shwarx has been seeing some sort of fertility doctor. And so then Shwarx pulls out like pulls out a little thing, and he's like, oh, let me show you this. We did good, didn't I? Look at my specimen. Look at my specimen. Which, by the way, it's so obvious that it's not semen because it's like, it's like blatantly obviously, you know, yogurt or like paste, right?

Of some sort. And she's like, ew, gross. And he's like, I'm just kidding, it's just yogurt. Well, that doesn't look like sperm. I'm a bit of an expert, darling. Had you worked in West Hollywood with a bathroom that closes in locks? All right.

The original name for so was Spurmy, unique restaurant. Ew. So they're talking, she's making, she's like, wait a minute, you were with him while he produced his sperm samples. So when you, wait a minute, you were with him while he produced a sperm sample. So when he produced your sperm sample, you went with your wife, you were with your partner. What I need from you is to stop jerking around and stop jerking off because we need to start work, you know. And then she gets up and leaves. I was like, well, so am I supposed to start working?

I was like, I can going to get you met them. Yeah. I've already cut my flowers for the day. It was exhausting telling. All right. Now if anyone is in need of a storyline, please apologize to Max. It's going to be a rating scraper. I'm telling you.

So then we go to Carol Bambini, which is like a baby store, of course. And Lala is there. She has already there in Lala walks and she's like, hey, she's this place is cute. And she goes, yeah, like I need to find like an outfit because like, like, like, you know, someone has already worn this outfit. And like, once you post a baby on Instagram, you can't wear it again. So summer is a very fine on Instagram. Um, well, like, she'll never wear the same outfit on it so twice.

Like, she's already got 100,000 followers. All right. Like, she passed up her dad before she was even born. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha- So, Lala's like, I'm the mom who's like covered in something at all times, which is funny because we've actually not seen any evidence of that whatsoever, but we have seen a night nurse and she's like, yeah, because like the other day I was like changing the diaper and then like ocean, like, projectile, pooped, all over. It was like on the walls, it was everywhere. It was literally like the box office performance I want to rans movies. Okay, just shit everywhere. Just shit the bed. Am I right? Everyone?

She's like I've had worse stuff squirted at me which I totally believe was that in the book because I'll read that Things that have been like if you're gonna be honest If this is an honest book I'll read it Did Lama say when she was telling Shina about the poop? Did she say, well, like the one blowout she had, I lifted her legs and projectiles. She didn't get her baby a blowout yet, right? You never know on this show. Probably actually. She was talking about getting her baby coffin nails. Yeah, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's real and what's not on the show.

Pretty sure that ocean has like extensions at this point. I'm not sure. By the way, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what's real and what's not. I'm pretty sure that ocean has like extensions at this point. I'm not sure. By the way, I am having or I'm having such a hard time keeping their names straight between summer moon and oceans like all these nature specific names are really, really doing a number on my brain. And you live in LA. Yeah. So Lala is like, well, I have to ask you and you know, it's important

because now you have the baby. And also I have a baby. So like, it's more important now to ask questions. You know why? Because we have babies at home. So we have a baby at home. Yeah, she's like, um, so like, she, she, like, how did you find out? He had two kids that he hadn't seen in four years. She's like, oh my and she knows face just falls because she's like oh great So this bitch is gonna make this a story in mind awesome. Can I have one fucking season? Yes She's like well the day the day we met he told me he had two kids and had a picture on his phone and you know That's how I knew and Lala goes and it didn't like and like

nothing in you is like it's strange if you haven't seen your kids because well she was like very open about the situation and Lala says I don't care if your dude looks like Aquaman I don't care if it's Jason but Moa himself but when a dude tells you he hasn't seen this kid in four years that's not when you go okay you're the one to have my baby daddy. Be my baby daddy. To be my baby daddy, yeah. So while I was like, I mean, so what's the reasoning that he hasn't seen them

for four years? And thank, well, he wanted to come to America and make a better life for his family and have a better life and provide for his family. She wasn't supportive of him coming over here. And so she decided to cut him off. Then why did he go over there? Yeah. Yeah exactly. So, uh, Lyle said, Lyle's like, China, I don't want you to be stupid, which is so adorable that she thinks

that still there's still time to stop that from happening. Like it's a choice. It's like your 10 years too late on that front. It's a lifestyle choice. So Lala says, Randall and I were also in a very different situation and I don't think you would do it to me, but then again, I wouldn't put a past them. Like that's good because you're currently in the middle of a fake scandal about it.

Yeah. And she's like, I mean, I've seen women who have said their dudes would never leave them, and then they're left on their ass like, dude, why was my smarter? And she says, people can change, but I'm also not going to turn a blind eye and be dummy about it. And she's like, yeah, but all I can say is like, he's an amazing dad, and I didn't see him doing anything ever to fuck this up, okay? He's like, you're never in ever to fuck this up, okay? Like, you never had to fuck it up!

Oh, yeah! No, I know, my track record is doesn't help the situation, but like, Lala doesn't even know Brock at all, okay? She doesn't even see how great Brock is, okay? But she just sees like Brock, like, she just sees another guy that I'm dating who wants to just gonna leave me like everyone else does. But you know what though? Like, like, guess what Lala? You know what? Like, it's not for like a trying like

It's really hard where rules apart and like he does think about them every day He like literally drinks out of a coffee mug that has their pictures on them. Okay, like she went to Zalphal and he made a Mousepad with their pictures like he went to Zalphal for it, okay He drinks out of a coffee mug with her picture on it. Like, just throw the background picture on his computer. He made a magnet, he made a magnet on Cafe Press that has some of their names on it. Okay, he thinks about them a lot. Yeah, this is so sad because like, look, maybe he's a very nice person and everything I'm sure he's nice, but he still made the choice to leave his fucking kids so he can go

to Hollywood. I mean sure he's nice, but he still made the choice to leave his fucking kids so he can go to Hollywood. I mean, that's another thing. It's not like he said, guess what? Or I'm gonna go to like, incinitas. Is like something. Well, maybe he did. His gym, my own San Diego. I feel like it's an edu.

So let's say, is he his cousin San Diego? No, no. Oh, he's incinitas in San Diego. Personal training things were in San Diego. I don't know, it's not like he's in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is in, is. That he came to start a new life in America, uh, as opposed to like Australia where there's nothing going on. But ultimately, it's like you still did leave your kids. Um, so Australia is amazing. I've seen Real Housewives of Melbourne.

Don't try and trick me. Yeah. Okay. So, yeah, you could have gone, uh, you could have been like a paralegal at Gina's law firm. How about that? You know, and he could have been, you could be learning certain things like, oh, I said, do that cancer get out of my body? Rock this instant. How's that Gina? You need some work in ass here. Oh, so... Shorty your a-be-she-d-never guess if you never wanna leave Cause she's falling, she's love-she-d-

Hmm, that's a new song. You're tricky. Oh, so James and Rakella are picking out shirts to where did this family thing. And she's like, I'm so excited, our families are getting together. And he's like, I'm so nervous. Like, even my mom have gotten so much closer and that's why I'm excited because Kate's gonna be there today and she's gonna be able to see

so much self-work and progress. You know what main, you know what main. I think Rickah is like, it means so much to me to have our families come together because families are forever and we're gonna create a family one day and we're gonna have ice cream socials whenever we want them. We're care, quiet, we're care, okay? I'm gonna be gonna talk about how my anger issues, okay? Be quiet. She's like my family has known James for four years now and they've met drunk James and they've met angry James and it's nerve-wracking to me because I don't know which James is gonna show

Well if either of those James are part of the package maybe no James should show up So then they go to this restaurant and James is on his best behavior. He's like Wow, it's so beautiful here. What a beautiful. I'm just a good little boy. Like good little boy looking at a beautiful restaurant It's so beautiful. I'm so charming. Oh So then Kate and the man, her man, Greg come in. And Raquel's like, Kate and I weren't always, okay, so we get a story from Raquel. I'm trying to make it make sense to me. Yes. I'm having that kind of a day.

It was too easy. So we didn't have a lot in common because I was adopted at birth. My biological mom Susan gave birth to Kate before me, and then Susan accidentally got pregnant again right around the time my aunt Laura was trying to conceive. So Susan was generous enough to offer to have me for my aunt. And then but then how did Raquel, I don't know, was Raquel raised by her aunt was, was Raquel's mom from a few seasons ago, was that I'm a I am a little confused I get the sense that Susan raised Kate but not Raquel. I'm can it sounds like Kate was not always in Raquel's life when she says that Kate wants to be a big sister role of sort of you would think isn't she already a big sister role so I think that like maybe Kate was not part of her Kel's life until recently. There's some just some pieces missing.

I don't know. Yeah, I didn't understand like if maybe the mom passed away and so the aunt was raising her because if she had if she was Susan for the if she had Kate, if Susan gave birth to Kate for her. But if if if Kate is if Kate, this is like a great SAD question. If Kate, if Kate is Raquel's aunt and and Susan gave Raquel to Kate, that means that Kate adopted Raquel. So does not actually make Kate Raquel's mom. So is her mom her aunt and her and her biological mom aunt and friend. I'm so confused. I don't know if anybody can link it, just explain. Just I'm not even racking on it.

I just want to know. Yeah, I just curious. So then the next question comes in, why did the higher Marcia Gay Harden to do Jacqueline on Fandre pump rules? It freaks me out every time I see James' mother. It's Marcia Gay Harden. It really is.

And she comes in and out. She, her whole bit this season is that she's just going to be, you know, happy and supportive no matter what, right? She's pulling a James, right? I feel like that whole family got together and was like, we're going to be lockable this year. Vandabump rules. All right.

You're like partying with their armpits. And then they come out of the house and I, hello, hard of trees and delicious on trays. I feel bad though, because I feel like his brother Dylan got the wrong memo. I was like, okay, so this year's plan is that we're going to dress up like, Dwight Yoke him, right?

Is that the plan? So, yeah, the brothers have always been nice, I guess. So they're just, they're like, listen, we're just going to wear the same thing every day. You guys do whatever you want to do. Yeah, we just, we're just gonna wear the same thing every day. You guys do whatever you want to do. Yeah, we just, we're just here for the free, free whimsically named food. So, um, uh, so they all sit down and, um, uh, James is talking about, he's, he's just like talking about the ring.

Is Bueller, is Bueller here yet? Oh, there he is. Yeah, he's behind me. He was just scratching the couch. Well, because we promised Bueller and I was like, I had a, has Bueller been there all that time? Yeah, I think he's been behind my head the whole time. Oh, okay, there we go.

There's the Bueller shot. We promised Bueller shot. He likes to get right behind me so he can be super guilt-giving. Like, I'm just right behind you. It's over time. You don't even see me. So James is saying how things are better with his mom.

And then he's talking about the ring. And he's like, he's like very nervous about the ring. And Jacqueline's like, honey, when you wash your hands, don't even take it off. Don't take it off. Don't take it off. Just don't you not have to worry about it. Don't worry about it.

Don't worry about it. Rick out. Yeah, I said, yeah, you know, I'm nervous when she's at work. You know, better not take it off in public bathrooms. And their brother's like, you know what you could do? You could get another ring and put it in front of that ring and it'll kind of hold it on there. And James says, I want you to get a replica made.

In case, you know, we go out, out, you know, someone out, out. And this mom goes, that is so smart. Smart, James. James. What a brilliant son and I can't believe how lucky are you to have a supportive mother like me. Wow, James, so smart, so smart.

And then Jacqueline makes the whole, I'm a good mother because I compliment my son's ordering move. So James is like, I'd like the Japanese curry fries. She goes, that sounds so good. And then I'd like the fraud chicken and the waffle. That sounds amazing, James. This place was hilarious. Normally, you know, there's so much bravo ordering that we just don't even talk about it anymore. But I have to say I cracked up when the waitress came by and cake goes, hi, yeah, I'll have the Russell hustle, please. And Rick L is like, may I please have this strawberry fields forever, salad? I know the mom just kind of laughs her. She's

like, that's cute. And again, then I'll also have like Bresel sprouts. And the mom's just like, you won't be getting any food compliments. That's a subtle dig bitch. Yeah. So then Raquel talks about how she saw Lisa the other day. So we didn't even get to see the scene that they were driving to. And that's, Alisa's like,

oh, gorgeous, gorgeous. And then she, she then, we then she talks about, she gave the Oculus to Max. So we see a flashback of Max receiving the gift and everything and all that. And yeah. So he delivers the gift and Max is like, whatever.

So there's a card written. So he reads that and he just laughs. And he's like, you're not sure about that one. just laughs and he's like, you know, not sure about that one. No. And he tells her, Kale, you might be making a mistake, but I guess we'll see. And she's like, but he's so remarkable. So then Kate's like, what are you guys talking about? And James's like, well, what happened was I want to do it with Max and I got a heat

in. And I said some things that were out of line. And it's escalated. And he's laughing. And he's like, yeah, you know, like something that didn't sit right. And I said some things that were up line and it's escalated. And he's laughing. And he's like, yeah, you know, like something that didn't sit right. I did my fingers and my water and I was like, wake up. And he keeps telling this story like it's the most hilarious thing ever,

but no, whenever laughs. Yeah, I was like, what is wrong with you? And Kate goes, she has the perfect response. She goes, so you can cause issues sober or drunk. Okay, okay, great. So James is like, well, you know what? I called him him a fat fuck and this is why you don't have a good friend And I said I just said fuck you you know and things just escalated and Jacqueline goes, you know People are allowed to get mad. They're allowed to have their feelings like not everybody's perfect. No Jacqueline

Your son is being a dipshit and you gotta tell him. You gotta tell him he's being a dipshit because everyone's a lot to have their feelings, but what do you act on the more not? I can't just read it card. Yes. I don't think the mom. I mean, I think, you know, it's like the apple on the tree.

You know, the apple sitting next to the tree it fell off of her or whatever. But also, what has James come in here? He knows that Kate hates his guts and is gonna be super judgy. So then why would he tell her this story? It's so, he has James come in here? He knows that Kate hates his guts and is going to be super judgy. So then why would he tell her this story? It's so, but he has an addiction because he knows, look down on him, like, sure. And I think he knows she's going to hear it.

So he wants to control the narrative, I think. So, um, Raquel was like, well, Max said that James misses him. I'm, I, I told Max that James misses him and we're killed. I'm Jack. I was like, Oh, good. You know, you're in the right track, sweetie. You're in the right track. I actually think you should sprinkle more water on your friends faces because that shows you really love them. You're you're feeling your emotions. I mean, guys, would someone that's not on the right track, order

chicken and waffles? That was so good. It sounds amazing. So smart. And Kiko's, well, why did you It's not on the right track. Order chicken and waffles. That was so good. That was good. Sounds amazing. You're so smart. And Kate goes, well, why did you like to recal? Like, why did you have to be the one to give him the gift? And she's like, oh, they haven't been talking. And yeah, I've been blocked on everything.

I can't even talk to him if I tried. I tried to even look him up on fatfox.com. He wasn't even there. Okay, he's blocked me everywhere. And Kate's like, well, I just don't want to see you in a situation where you have to fix his problems. And she's like, but I never thought she's telling us. She's like, I never thought I was trying to fix

this situation at all. I just figured I would help out my fiance, but Kate hasn't always been supportive because of his drinking, but she's my big sister, so. And she's like, you know, this could affect my sister, so you need to think about yourselves as wine. And he's like, oh, 100%. 100%.

And Kate's like, and unfortunately, there will be a time where somebody does not accept the gift, okay? Which is true, and it's nice to have a voice of reason on this show. It's like actually I planned for that, which is why I shoplifted it at our best bar and left a little alarm tag on it. All right, I'm actually counting on him,

taking it back. So then we got a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a tricksy song that I actually felt like was pretty well articulated, because she went back to just like simple lyrics, and she goes, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, on fire won't try. So Thomas training people on drinks and Richardson's like, we need to get more creative and learn how to use more rocks glasses because that restaurant has like all these different kinds of glasses to make a hundred different drinks. And he's like, yeah, let's do it.

Rocks glasses. That was a great pre-scene. Okay. He and he's Katie and Ari come and Vanderpump's there and Shorts is pretending to do something make a Manhattan. Yeah, he's like I've never and so they go They go sit down and Vanderpump who is just with Tom goes God, it's so good to be back here. Every honor. We go to have Tom to change the music

at least yeah, just bossing off bossing her off. So then um Lisa talking to kids is alone with Katie and she goes well I saw your husband today and he's going to the fertility doctor. Are you serious about having a baby? Why is he going to the fertility doctor before you've even dried? Which is like why would you even like why would you even say that least of under bum? Like of course like What a crazy assumption to make. I think that was one of those, like this is what has to get across the scene.

I need to talk, ask her about fertility, but she went about it and like what? Who says that to someone who says, I went to the fertility doctor. You think anyone goes to the fertility doctor for fun? Like, yeah, let's go there first. Yeah, first stop. Let's go spend thousands of dollars at the fertility doctor.

So she's like, but we did try. And but it wasn't successful and she starts crying. And this is like, Oh, this bottom lip comes out. You must have been very difficult. Keep it going. Can we get max out here to say something to us so they get an argument? The audience will never keep grinding.

Oh, KD, you couldn't get pregnant. Oh dear. Oh, hold on one second. Let me open up my soul to receive a broken bird. Yes, I feel so good, a broken bird. Okay, let me break you some more. Did you try? Did you try hard? How did it make you feel where you sad? Do you want to cry about it? Hold on one moment hold on one moment

Tom, I know that this is a vegan restaurant, but could you run out and grab some baby pack ribs for tonight? Time. Are you? Are you sad darling? Look at you crying? So Katie's like well it got progressively more more difficult to do yes yes yes give me my mom give me more because am I old is something wrong with me oh it's so broken it's so good just put it in my veins it's so good um and Katie's like I, then you're thinking like, it's something wrong with me. I mean, it happens for a while,

large, just you don't know how hard she tried. I mean, mounting Rand can't be easy darling. It's got to take a lot of planning and suction, you know, hand suction. It's like climbing a slippery, slippery snow-covered mountain. Darling, but a round mountain, if mountains were round. And instead of ice, just chicken grease, very slippery. Have you ever put, have you ever slathered

a water balloon in Vaseline, darling? That's what Lola went through. So yeah, so she just saying how it's become a chore, it's become a job and, you know, and so Lisa says, well, just tell everyone that you know we're trying, we'll see what happens, it's going to be your turn, it will be your turn, which I feel like, I understand Lisa sentiment, but I also feel like

that's just would make me more anxious if someone says, it'll be your turn, it'll be your turn, I'll be thinking myself, I'll be thinking myself like, is it my turn? Is it my turn? Is it my turn? I have friends who've, there seem, honestly, there seem to be a lot of fertility problems lately. I know a lot of people who are going through it,

who have gone through it. And I don't know if it's like something of the water or what, but, or if it's just me, maybe I know a lot of people who just happen to have the same problem. But it seems to be a big problem. And from talking to all of them, I have learned people do not know what the fuck to say to you.

That's right. When you're going through fertility, like everyone says something stupid. I've heard so many things that people have said that are like, who would say that? You know? But do you think it's something that, like your lifestyle darling, like something that you've done in the past?

Like, oh yes, it's a fucking sin from smoking 10 years ago or whatever, you know? Yeah. But it's like, I know that people say a lot of stupid things to people who are trying. And that was a really long way to say it, sorry. And I just say,

Vanderpromp as much. I say, get a car velike, you deserve a car velokake, and just take it from there. So Vanderpromp's like, you know, talking to Katie is breaking my heart. Let's try again. So Katie to cease Shina, Lala, Stasi, Britney, even the Brazilian twerker ofker over there might be pregnant. Are you pregnant? There was a possum out on the sidewalk. I think it was pregnant As on charges on set Difficult as the Katie's crying and

Katie's like, but I've talked to him in my age and they're saying that everything's gonna be okay It's like surely you'll be all right. I mean, I can't believe the tombs haven't had one together yet. Can you? What I'm trying to say is that your husband likes someone more than you. Okay, let's go on with the scene. So then, I've made Katie cry for 30 minutes straight. Someone can relieve me now.

I've got flowers to cut, darling. So Ken's just at the bar and someone's like, you want a peronial at the table boss? He's like, yes, there's no being on so the peronial. That's fantastic. Thank you. So the Tom's return to the table with Ariana and Vanderpump is Vanderpump, please, right? Oh, no. So she's like, let's talk please. She knows, she sort of like creates conflict and is like, bye.

So yeah, like let's talk about this business. Surely you're going to have Katie involved, am I right? All right, got to go, bye. So Schwartz is like, yeah, well, Baba agreed to train people and I know sometimes, I know sometimes you're not the most Social person so I appreciate you going outside your comfort zone Which is so fucking rude to say to your wife like it's also like very gaslighting

You know, I mean, I'm not saying that Katie is Social but like don't tell me I'm not sociable, right? Like that's I'm so rude and he does this all the time And I'm not you know, I hate sticking up for Katie, but I cannot imagine dealing with that all the time. I would be pissed. I was so weird because then she says, well, I've worked for my mother for years and years and there were never any issues. Guys, you're on a show about working in a restaurant, Katie.

You've been working in this restaurant for years and years. Why are we pretending like none of that ever happened? Yeah, exactly. I get pretending like you don't work there anymore or whatever, but they're acting like Katie was, hasn't been a waitress for years and years at Sir, right? So Katie talks about growing up working for her mom and she's like, you know, I learned the value of a dollar and what hard work gets you.

And that's what I would love with shorts to like have a family business. Then get off your lazy ass and start one. Okay. That's what I say. Puckartz to have a family business. Then get off your way, he asks a start one. That's what I say. Puckerm Po. Start a business with Tom. Yeah, so the Lisa is like, oh, well, SantaVal says, well, you know what, a public undressing gives me

massive anxiety at which point Lisa is like, oh, this is getting complicated. And no one seems to be broken at the moment, so I'll be back in a second, bye, enjoy fighting. Sorry, I need to go to my office where I've got something called an Oculus waiting for you. Really fantastic stuff. That's a bomb Oculus. Oculus D-N-E! So good to see you. So this gets up there, cans like bumping into walls with that thing on his head like. It's like trying to play tennis, just swiping at the sky.

Next we got the opening crash. We'll just see Max trying to play tennis just swiping at the sky. Next we got the opening crash. We'll just see Max flinging it in slow motion after the wall. So, um, Lisa goes, that she says that she goes, I hope I'm not provoking anything, because I really don't mean to. But I want Kate to have something that she's invested in and I don't think it would harm the project at all. I hope I'm not provoking anything.

But, and then she's like, cloud of smoke magic, just go on. It just disappears into a cloud of smoke. So, Santa was like, Katie, like he's way too intense already. He's like, Katie, like, Tommy of this. He's like, it's Sheenal's birthday party. I'm told, like, how uninspired it is. And it brings it, you know, like it just brings these things back up.

And he's like, well, you know, Tom never fully got over the whole incident at Stasi's book signing. Yeah, the football incident, you were yelling at me. You were like literally a yelling at me and public and a rattle in a restaurant. Exactly. Like nothing's even happened. So, Katie is like, sandival isn't really traumatized that I yelled him once in 2019. He's scared about letting someone work at his bar that won't lie and say he's a genius. Well, yeah. Who the fuck wants something? I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. him once in 2019. He's scared about letting someone work at his bar that won't lie and say he's a genius. Well, yeah, who the fuck want someone in their restaurant? Like,

you put together a restaurant and you build this career for yourself and then you have fucking Katie there giving her input on every little thing. Hell no. Yeah, I wouldn't either, but still stop yelling Katie in the restaurant. I mean, it's like Katie, would you hire Kelly Catrone to work on Parker and Pout? No, because you'd be saying how stupid is the entire time of course You know like you don't want want like a yes person, but you want someone that's like okay. I'll get that done person and Just to play devil's advocate look Tom is putting a lot of money into this restaurant and that's half of Katie's money So technically if Arianna and Katie say they want to work, you know, they want a part of it

They are technically investing in the restaurant too. Yeah. That's good. That's a good deal. I think I see Rodney. She could, she could, she could be like, you know, Tom, I don't, obviously it's not going to work out with Santa Valls. So why don't you and I start our own thing? Why not? We could start a business together and have a family business and this and that. The problem with me or to me is that she's not doing that. She's wanting to come in on something that they're doing and putting all the work in. And then she just wants to pop in and be like, this is my restaurant to you. I think that you wouldn't feel that way as much if Tom Schwartz had any sort of backbone because I feel like if Tom's part of me almost

feels like she needs to be there to sort to keep an eye on things because Tom Schwartz is going to be totally useless, right? And so if Tom Schwartz were competent in any sort of way, I think that she would actually kind of back off and just be like, okay, they got it. I feel good that they've got something going and I can handle, I'm going to go back to Legos, right? But I think that there's actually a little bit more than, I think it actually has more about Schwartz than it does about Sandevol. Yeah. And Schwartz plays them off of each other too, right?

He's really done. He's getting them against each other and all this. So then we see the clip of Katie and Stasi against Tom at TomTom, and they don't show Stasi at all, though. Oh, they don't? Not weird. I just assumed that they did. I mean, maybe I blocked Stasi up, though. Oh, they don't. Not weird. I just assumed that they did. I mean, maybe I blocked it. Yeah, but I thought it was just Katie that we saw. But she's like, well, you're ruining something that's supposed to be great for her

because you can't handle her getting attention. Like your jealous or something. He's like, are you serious right now? And Katie says, you know, I know you think I'm in title Tom and I didn't cause that stuff with Stasi Those text messages you sent to Stasi were in St. One text message, okay, in St. No, in St. Coming from you, you can send a text to fucking anybody and they better not question it But if I do, one text message, I get screamed at the little Adam Baris in public

You yell at me in my mirror. And she's like it was two years ago. Get the fuck over it. He's like, I've been with Sheenah before where we're like getting drinks and it's like literally two in the morning and it's like streams of bubbles from text messages out of nowhere. I've seen it. Do you know how difficult that is? Her ringtone is literally her saying, Hi, text message. Do you know it's this over and over again?

Hi, text message. Hi, text message. Hi, text message. I'm traumatized. Corner, corner. But yeah, he's living in the past. My God, man. All this happened a long time ago.

But Ariana's like, yeah, that was like six or seven years ago. He doesn't matter. And she says, yeah, I haven't heard of a Katie Rage text in years and years. And, she was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Katie's like, well, I don't know what to tell you.

So Ariana tells us, she's like, Tom, I know what Tom's trying to say. He's trying to say that his past experiences with her are coloring the way that he feels about working with her now. So just fucking say that. Right. And Ariana goes, Tom, you're saying that you want to die on this hill and he's like, no, I'm not trying

to die on this hill, but you are dying. And I'm currently still in your shoulders. So you have to let me off this ride before you tumble down this hill, thanks. And I don't want, I don't have to worry about a place and think like what is Katie's think about the fucking name, like where does Katie fit into this. I have a reason to have an issue with you being involved because you have a tendency to feel entitled to your feelings. And I received Katie, so you know, yes, they are from an Android phone from 2016,

but they are still receipts. Fuck you for making me feel like a fucking psycho man. And it's like, you're literally the one yelling right now in the screen, like a fucking psychopath. I mean, I actually, I'm crazy. I do actually get it in some way. Like I do get that like, like what Ariana said, that he's just like based on our previous relationship.

I don't know if I want that going forward and I understand his frustration. Like why do I have to, like now I have to have conversations with Katie. I've got to like cater her and it's not even her business, you know, and like, and I don't want to have like this thing, every time we make a decision,

I don't want to have this thing in the back of my head. Like I get that because I have some friends that are like that where I'm like, why am I considering this person? They're not involved in this, but they have somehow made me feel like they have to be consulted on this. So I get that. But that being said, he is really addressing it in like the most incorrect way. Like it's just like totally like on level 10 and not the way I think you handle it. Yeah, just a Katie, we don't like each other. and not the way I think you handle it. Yeah, just say, Katie, we don't like each other.

I don't want you working at the bar. It's gonna cause problems. Yeah. The end. Yeah. So then, Swartz, let's see. So he's having a fit, right? So he gets up and he's like,

I'm tired of being fucking cornered about this. And Ariana says, no one's cornering you. You're like cornering us and yelling at everyone here. Yes, you're cornering us. And so, I sure said, yeah, he'd bring it up. So then he storms off, he smokes a cigarette in the back alley, all angry. And Katie's like, I mean, he wants to sit there

and put the blame on me. Like that moment was all his fault. So it's also kind of proving his point that this is what it's going to be like. Just kidding and Tom fucking fighting all the time. You know what I call it Ronnie? A convenient narrative. It certainly is. All right everybody, well that's it for us for days for Vanderpump.

A fun time. Thanks everyone for listening. Don't forget Tickets on sale on Friday for our big tour. And thanks everyone for listening and all that Bravo gossip we talked about at the top of the hour. Chance Zarb will probably address some of it on Monday for take a seat, which is on Spotify Greenroom. So be sure to download that app and sign up for free and come listen to us and join in participate because it's really fun. And that's that. That's that on that. Okay everyone? Have a wonderful day and we'll talk to you on the next episode which I believe.

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