Watch What Crappens - Pump Rules: Cringy-ness Revealed!

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Vanderpump Rules (S10E19) closes out its landmark season with some drips and drabs that never made it to air. Can Tom Schwartz still funnel a beer? Can Tom Schwartz roller skate *and* lie at the same time? And will Lisa ever ride a horse again? All the secrets SHALL BE REVEALED!!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.

I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. You guys so good to see you. Thank you for being here, my God. Wow. So many of you here instead of being out there doing lines and fucking on Pride Day. Yeah, happy Pride. Listen, I'm sure there are a lot of Pride events going on, but I think we can all agree. Coming together to talk about Banner Pump Rules one last time is the gay issue you could be doing right now Two gay guys talking about how scandalous straight lives are yeah Scandal ball is like a gay Monday. Yeah

Hi, bang to your best friend. How was he? That is really what being gay is all about. It's just like talking shit about your straight friends. Oh my god, you're about Susan. Oh, Susan and Derek once again. Drama queens. Thank you so much for being here. We did not realize that it was actually...

Can I have a little less of myself in my ear? I cannot stand my own fucking voice. It's like listening to my own voice greeting on the phone. So we had no idea it was actual pride day here. And wow. Wow. We literally arrived at like our hotels on the parade route. And of course, I was like, that is so nice

that they threw crap in the parade. So kind of Columbus. There were in our colors. Take a rainbow. But usually we bring terrible weather wherever we go. We bring pleasers this week in, we're in a fucking way. There were smoke, there was like red smoke coming in from Canada.

We brought smoke to Minnesota. And here we brought the actual flames. It was like, yes, the actual gays came out. You have lovely gays that way as well. The loveliest gay city. Woo! Because, you know, like the pride parade in WeHo, which is where Bannapura will take place.

They're nasty, they're nasty, they're nasty. It's just half-naked go-go dancers, writhing around, and everyone lying in the streets are just everyone who's been hibernating for six months and is ready to show off their new bodies. It's just like, abs, effects, everyone just wants to show up. But here was just like, wholesome and lovely people. And really nice and supportive, and people were were like actually like cheering, you know, not

just there like, you got drinks, you know? Totally different pride. But really amazing and people were really into it. We passed this one girl who, because she was, you know, you're down there going, woo! It's like being at Watch What Happens Live, but it goes for like 10 hours or whatever. You know how that whole show is? Woo! Woo!

You're proud! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! I think the audience leaves that show and they're just like,

but there is a girl who is doing that the whole time. And I was like, that girl is so supportive, because we're staying right by there. So we walked up to find food. What fucking idiots are we? I know. We're like, let's walk up the parade route to find a restaurant.

Yes. Scoop it. So we were doing that. And we passed this girl. We could see her down the block. Because she was going, yes! Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! And I was like, oh, she must know a friend in this Wells Fargo sex, you know what I'm saying? Like the Wells Fargo for Gays or whatever. But no, because then it was like the energy company was next. Yeah, I was like, yeah! Like, is she burning a carpet pride? What is happening to this happening there. It was like nationwide presents pride.

Ah! She was really enjoying it. And by the way, shout out to the two ladies we ran into at the sidewalk there. Where are you? There you are. Oh, the sparkles. And happy birthday to you down here in the front. Yeah, happy birthday.

And I guess we should also have pride in the fact that we have at least once, super premium sponsor here, Betsy MD. Give me ten C's of Betsy MD. All right, well, walk through. I just want to say, I am so impressed with this city, because this parade was like going strong. And then we went up to our hotel rooms, and we have a view of the parade route.

So it was just like thousands of people, and I went up the hotel room, and there was a message from someone who said Aren't you impressed with the way the Columbus and cleanup after its parades? I was like what and I look at the window and it was like spotless Like there never was a parade We passed when we were walking back You know there's a little trash on the ground like everywhere But there was a flag on the ground And I hope everybody was just stepping over it.

So I'm back in a step on that flag. Don't do it. Do not desecrate the gaze. Don't do it. What a great place. Well, welcome to Watch All Crappens, a podcast, throw that flag. We're on.

To talk about on YoRodz, we're so excited to be here. I think this is our third or fourth time in this theater. I would like to start with the Newport Music Call for those of you at home. But this is a great place. Everyone here is so kind to us. I would like to say, fuck the health department of this place Ohio, Columbus, Ohio, who no longer allows a pizza oven to be here. Yes.

So, since I know everyone here is too polite to say this to the health department, please send them this recording. Fuck you health department. And since you're depriving us of having pizza on gay pride, it is officially a homophobicate crime. That you shut down the pizza oven that used to be in that corner. Yes, you can't do that to this place on gay pride. I said, this is the place I should have been gay. This is the place.

These are the gays that will eat pizza with me. This is my people. Did anyone at that first show that we did here where there was pizza? Was that not the most amazing experience of life ever had? I will never forget it. It was just like for us, we do a lot of these shows, literally never had one where they're just like wafting pizza smells coming in the entire time. I dream of those days.

Well, previously on Vandepampu. Roo! I'm finally free from James. on Van the Pumper Room. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm finally free from James, so now I'm single. Also, my dog might have been accidentally stabbed by a cabob skewer and a vege out of pageants.

I'm doing great! Shorts and Sandies's opening in one week. Oh, sorry. Ha ha ha ha. Um, I've finally left Schwartz because I realized that I deserve somebody who baths and takes my dreams of standing at a countertop in my pajamas eating tuna salad seriously.

I'm doing great. Hey, Rikowl, you're such a holy mackerel. I was smart. Kati, well, mine. You don't mean Vegas. You should do it. Do it. Ha!

Did you tell that pet rock to make out with shorts? You're dead to me, sheen to shey. And I've been a great friend to you all those years. I wasn't slut-shaming you or calling you a fruit roll-up with lip injections. So, I've totally moved on from Raquel, and I couldn't be happier. I met my soul mate, she only hates me with her eyes, and I play convenient gigs in a Gore his,

and I'm drinking again, doing great. I just found out that Rant uses the casting couch which I wish I would have known before I fucked him on that couch at the casting office. I felt so, yes. Best girl's trip ever. Best girl's trip. Kristen McHale is back. I'm seeing a kid. I'm being a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid.

I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. I'm seeing a kid. Motherfucking guy at the restaurant, I could squirt all over him. Um, Lala, I think that guy is cute too.

Oh yeah, yeah, you should totally make out. Like I have no interest whatsoever. You have the green lights. Scott. Okay. Yeah, I would never trust you around any of my man's life. Good thing you don't have a man. Oh my god, that was like Sirir.

That was like the riddest thing you could ever say. That was so rude that she said that to us. What do you mean? A bit star-spirited. My god, there's that girl. The girl has gallicic cheese in her room. She uses a five-year-old. She sleeps on a pillow.

She works with making out with a five-year-old. I hear her, she wears her shoes. If you notice how she gets on her shoes, the juax left her right, that's not right. She's really on a boogie board. She sleeps on the couch. It's not even on water. She thought the boogie board was the boogie man for many years.

But more on. I can't believe she called me a mistress when all I did was sleep with a married man. Answer, boyfriends. Dude, Raquel, I can't believe you totally surprisingly showed up at Girls Night, which I had no idea you were gonna do! Oh! Take my breath away! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Katie's being mean to me after hooking shorts up at the work out even though she told me she was fun Vegas so she can't come to my wedding and I need someone to go tell her she's not in a lot in any of the preferred areas Ma! Oh my god. I just got a phone call from someone that no one's ever met before and she's totally coming to the wedding and she needs a room I there's no more rooms left at my school and someone else is coming up there with my school. Katie, you have to give up your road, Mexico! I don't give up, fuck, about your stupid wedding, Shina.

And nobody gets to tell me when I'm going to go on vacation that I paid for. I'm going to go to Mexico, and I'm going to ignore your wedding like anybody else, because it's a shittiest event. And I don't give two fucks about it, Shina. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Ha, ha. Welcome to my rehearsal dinner. Welcome to the preferred guest access lounge pool club. Welcome to Caden Brande in Mexico. I'd the preferred access part of the Yoslin. Welcome to my wedding day. Preferred guest club member access only.

Hey, Baba, you guys having dinner? I just saw a girl sitting in the mirror up dinner back. Baba, I miss when you turned my armpit here. Oh, gross. Get out of here. Get out of here. What did you do to my armpit hair. I'm gross. Get out of here. Get out of here. Gross. No.

Gross. Go. Ew. Okay. Brickow, want to make out now? I'm just a guy. You have crossed the line. Get out of my life.

You unwashed man, baby. Okay. Is that sushi? So, big news, I'm playing at a hot tub next to a pinnacle artistound. Imagine fast! Well, that is amazing. Is it gonna be bigger than Richella? How dare you! Swish!

It's stupid fucking stupid fast slut man, slut fat person! Shorts and Sandeys opening 2026! So, Arianon, you haven't really said much to season. Anything to add? Yeah, well, you know, I know I haven't really been in these previously, but thankfully it's because I've had a pretty chill season and haven't been involved in any drama, so it's been pretty cool. And then the cameras went down.

Oh, doing it. I have to take my mirror away. Africa, total. I have to, I have to take my mirror away. Aw. Africa, toe toe. Seriously, seriously. Congrats on finally finding out what a piece of shit sand of all is. The world finally knows my truth.

Vindication of a Merry Post-Up. Go go! those my truths, vindication of a marimbaosa. Good-oh! Good-oh! Good-oh! Uh, hey, dumplings, you want anything while I'm in the kitchen? For you to die. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Come on! I had your cheat! You let's stop the batteries! Rikkel always has batteries! I don't give a fuck about Raquel!

Yeah! Yeah! And you never buy toilet paper either! And scene! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Okay, that was a little longer than we planned. Jeez! I know. And now it's longer than we planned. Geez. I know. And now it's time for intermission. Okay. You guys all have 10 minutes. My name is Alexander Hamilton. It's Alexander Hamilton.

I'm not going to miss my shot. Imagine. Ah, that's the atah. Okay. So this is our first time ever recapping a secrets revealed episode. Yes. I think Lisa Vanderpump should just do every secrets revealed episode. Yes. I think Lisa Vanderpump should just do every secrets revealed episode ever.

I know. I don't know how they're usually done because I've never even seen one. By the end of a season, we're usually like, for pomp, this has dropped the mic. Yeah. Just dropped the, push the laptop off the desk, you know, I've never seen one. What, I'm sure I have at some point, but I've never seen one like this, so it's like, welcome to Fatna Pampuru, I'm Lisa Vandapamp, I've just taken a light bulb, wrapped it in metal, and put that metal in a cage, where I've locked it inside of a vat of acid,

it must escape before elephant's trample it. She was definitely sort of giving like a British posh version of like Shelley Deval doing spare-tail theater. Ooh, here's the tale if you want to know. By the way, we should also mention there were no secrets and nothing was revealed, but that's okay. More like, sociness revealed. I mean, we knew that, right? We're so dumb. We're literally all idiots. And I like that we all wait for each other to have a reaction before we can have a reaction to it, too. Because I watched it

and I was like, nothing was revealed, right? So I went, I literally went on Reddit to see if I missed something and everybody's like, oh my God, can you believe the shit that went down? Can you believe he had that nerve to show up that day? Roller skating and I was like, okay, I mean, okay. But then I started getting like more into it and by the end of the night I was like,

that fucking Tom Sandefall. I learned so much, thank God we're doing the secret reveal girl because I've got some shit to say. Yeah, this episode was basically like you've eaten up everything in your little cup from yogurt land and you're taking the spoon and you're just trying to like, you're like shoveling all the yogurt smears into one section

to get one last spoonful. I'll take it, I do it every time. And we do it, we do that. When I see people leave crust on the table, generally pizza, but let's be honest, it could be pie crust, it could be sandwich crust, I really don't care. I think fuck those people and I go eat the crust.

Yeah. I am that kind of bitch. And this is a crusty show. So Lisa's like, welcome to the Vanderbump rule season 10 secrets revealed. Magic! Tonight will show you never-believe scene moments from this season. And if you're hoping to see my son Max, well that's one secret that won't be revealed tonight. Where's Max? Where's Max on all this? Actually did show him in one part. She's like, who Maxie surely sand of all would never use another beer spigot instead of

this one, which he's been in love with. Max is like, all right, mother, I shut clean the beer spigot. I was like, wow, Max, I can't believe they cut him out of the season. Miss you, Miss you, Max. Well, when we picked up the cameras to capture the huge fallout of all these broken birds. Because of Tom Nurekel's affair, there was just so much we couldn't feed it all in one episode. I can't believe Rikail stayed over at Sandoval's house,

so Arianna was gone, and they went to the hot tub as well. Can you believe it? Not now, Ken, not now. Ciri, put Ken back into his dock. Can you believe it? Not now, Ken, not now. Siri, put Ken back into his dock. Thank you, darling. All right, we've picked up the cameras again. Let's see what these kids are thinking.

And then it's Lala going, my heart's, it's really broken. It's for Ariana and Shina honestly, just because they were riding so hard for recalf. And Ali goes, yeah, that's the bigger betrayal, honestly. Sandoval, Sandoval fucking Rick Alf was more of a betrayal to Sina. Yeah. Ali's gonna fit right in here.

Yeah. So, LVP is like, oh, so far only the lies have been told. And then we see Raquel going, oh, well, sand of all likes. Why don't you just go upstairs to get a sermon crash there? So that's what I did. Oops. And so then we see Raquel. There are some knitting place in Rickels in a conductor hat

Which I think is funny because like it's conduction, you know It's like the lightning bolt is like she's just she's just she's just a metal key just waiting for something to strike her To conduct energy into something else to make her worthwhile no fence so then something else would make her worthwhile. No offense. So then, uh, Sina, she's like, yeah, calling me a home-wrecking whore is really far-fetched. Two, two, and Sina's like, yeah. Totally, totally, we're having this belt-of-air moment, so we can totally vindicate your name. So now, uh, so that was like a little preview of what's to come. And now the show begins and earnest and the producers like, so we had a lot of secrets revealed that we weren't expecting, huh?

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Zipper Cruder the smartest way to hire I'm going to say something scandalous running. Go on. Plants are meat. And not only are they meat, they're delicious, especially if they're from impossible foods. They taste like beef. Exactly.

Impossible is making meat history this summer. Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my summer foods, all that good stuff, and guess what we can use Impossible sausages, impossible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving and it's better for the planet and it's meat

Plant meat correct So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill grab some impossible beef Summer of Impossible. Start making meat history today, just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef, or patties, and get grilling. Oh yes, definitely! One too many for my liking! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh's back, bitches. Yeah, she's so happy. She's literally putting on lip gloss. Like, oh, these children's lives being ruined.

Delicious. So many secrets revealed like the fact that it was Kyle who took that dog. Oh, whoops. Could we please hold on for a minute? Lucy, Lucy Apple, oopsie. Yeah, that's a secret we won't reveal. I know, give us a guess here.

I want like a clip of Lisa Rena on the phone with Daily Mail, like let's say. I know. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. There's this talk. It's named Lucy, Lucy Apple Juice. No, not juicy, not juicy. I know.

It makes no sense. The kid who named us to total idiot, you should meet his mother. Ha ha ha ha ha. So the previous slide, did you ever expect that when we started this season that we'd end up where we are now? I'm like, oh no, no, no.

I never expected when we started this whole show. We were like, let's ruin all these other people's lives. But then we went Ariana's life by accident, but then we didn't ruin it. Who would have thought? I just wrote, she's so happy. Every line she speaks, she's like, no, 11 years ago seeing these poor, so slivering waters to tables.

Fick it, they don all be dead by now, telling her to figure that ruin way more lives. But she's like it was years ago, and here I am still sitting in this seat. Soon it will be called Vanderpump Drules. I was like, well, I've called it Vanderpoop Drules since episode one, and you're right, it kind of is turning into that, which I love.

By the way, Jack's just did some interviews someplace. Please stop interviewing Jack's. Yeah, stop that. By the way, while we're calling the health department, can we call every magazine and podcaster in the country? I know. This doesn't, none of this makes Jack's okay. No, it does not.

So he was on some interview and he's like, Pfft! Pfft! Pfft. Pfft. At least the Vanderpump's just a prop. She doesn't mean anything. You're married to Brittany. I know.

Pfft. Since when do you have a problem with props? I know. You literally leave her like between the front door and the door stop to like let her breeze in okay. That's their whole podcast. He's like, let me tell you something about Sandra Bob. I've got to real slime.

I was like, dry ex don't say that. I have to listen to him dry ex. I'm so sorry, I am so sorry! I'm so sorry! Anybody who likes an angel, I hate? So, um, Lisa's like, everybody thinks it's so strange that Tom and Ariana are living together post break up, but Katie undress did it first! So then we go to six weeks before production even began on the show.

Oh my god, I have to give a shout out to the music though because it's fanpromp Rules, and they do have some of the best tricks, he monical tracks. The first track was, I was like, okay, so it's Katie in the studio now. It's just Katie riding this. Yeah.

Down in a fire, stupid pill person. Down in a fire. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer.

I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. I'm not even trying to be a writer. Could you make me food then? So Katie is like, well, it's been two and a half months since we've officially separated and we're still living together and It's not ideal, but we're gonna list her house and it's been nice to slowly break up rather than cold turkey I really get this feeling like this entire breakup is gonna go really really really really well They're doing that thing where they're both they always start off this season like this Really talking baby voice. She's like, you know

They always start off the season like this. Were they talking baby voice? She's like, you know, I finally decided that we are swathed over. I'm like, Katie, who are you? Stop hiding behind the fucking fence. Pop your head over the fence and be Katie, OK? I mean, listen, you're not my favorite, but if you're going to be Katie, be Katie.

Who are you? Who is this lady in the bed? She's like, I'm really just hoping I can work it out. So shorts is like, I'm really just hoping I'm working on it. Oh, man. So shorts is like, so I was joking around with Stasi the other day, which by the way, I think is the first time her name is mentioned on Bravo in like five years.

I know, I can't believe they didn't bleep it out. I was like, is this Pete Cokkin censored? I don't know. They can say the seaword on this one. He's like, she said that like maybe as a couple you guys weren't goals, but as divorce says, you guys are fucking goals. So congratulations, you got the Ossie's seal of approval on divorce.

Yeah. So, Swartz is like, you know what, what are you, like what are we supposed to do with that cue sentimental pick of you and me? Like, we're you're eating a taco, but then I'm sticking my finger in it to push to me that other side of the taco. So you really never get to enjoy your taco. That was hilarious. She's like,

I guess we just keep it up there until like, we start dating somebody who makes us take it down. She is going to come in and put her face on it. There, fix that. Well, what if I start dating so many? Are you going on any dates, Katie? And she's like, um, yeah. He's like, really? She's like, yeah.

He's like, oh, I wish I had no best. So she's like, well, why did you ask then? He's like, I don't know, I thought the answer was no. So he starts to cry. And he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, he's like, oh, I thought we would at least wait until we were out of the house. My God.

And then there's a little black dog, whatever it's name is. He's sobbing. She's choked up. And the dog is fucking a pillow. The dog is like, you'll never have a chance to get on this show. They don't even notice that the dog is doing a full donkey show in the middle of this comment. And he's the dog just does that all the time. It's one of those dogs. It's like it's a Vanderpump rules dog. dog as that kind of dog. It's like I need attention I'm just gonna fuck someone publicly in the middle of the I think I think shorts made a big mistake bringing that dog to Rans house for pickleball That's what I gotta say

That dogs in like 10 serial commercials now With Al Pacino confused about his lot being fed lines through yeah, that dog is in the expendables 45 with Al Pacino and Briss Willis now. This is actually idiotic. I can't believe you're still sitting here. Thanks for being here. So, a secret reveal. So, Katie's like, Well, I felt happier now because I've given myself permission to be happy. I just want to do things for myself instead of waiting for someone to come or waiting for someone to grow up.

And he's like, even Gordo's fucking somebody new. Gordo, give me your secrets. So then at least, let me go back to Lee's it says, this season seems to be all about out with the old. Hello, well, they're still on the cast. And in with the new, whether it was friendships or relationships or even Tom Sandivolt, old apartment, if those walls good talk. Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh- DROK! DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE that is disgusting. Do they own that? They don't own that place, do they? Who keeps a rental? Well, I guess West Hollywood had rent control.

I did it for a long time, and it was disgusting. It is probably had biohazard stickers on that door for many years. It is not getting renters. And just everything they, first of all, if those walls could talk, it would have bad grammar. OK. All it's had are those guys in it for years.

And then it got Jeremy, the brother. It's like, those are like chorista judaists walls, okay? Yeah. The walls are like, hey. If those walls could talk, they'd be sobbing. They'd just be like, please, just demolish me. So they'd walk in and there's like a cockroach on the floor. And just like stains and smears.

Literally, by the way, there's literally a cockroach on the floor and stains on the wall. Just everywhere. It's just terrible. So are you okay there? No, no, what? I got my foot stuck under the chair. Oh, Baba-Buh. So many people sit so low to the ground. Who sits like this?

I feel like I'm squatting. I feel like I'm on a squatty potty. Well, that's the way to recap better bump rules on the toilets. It's on most of it's produced. All right, so they come in. They're moving Jeremy out. Jeremy, Jeremy's like, thanks for the rent control and the free apartment, bra.

He just left everything there in the middle of the house. Okay, this kid didn't do shit. So, Ariane is like, he left his couch. Why would he leave his couch? I mean, why wouldn't he take his couch to the new, you know, Faith is on her way over to get that couch. That is a faith storyline I need to see return. Yes. That was my favorite running storyline. Faith is coming for the couch. And they're like,

hey Faith, how's the couch doing? She's like, the couch is doing good guys. They really should, they really should bring Faith back. I love that this show got slammed the hardest out of all the shows on Bravo in 2020 and they still only have white people. It's crazy. They really should bring faith back. I love that this show got slammed the hardest out of all the shows on Bravo in 2020 and they still only have white people. It's crazy. So, Santa Claus like, he's like, well, even though like Ariana and I moved out of our apartment,

like the infamous apartment, like Ariana's brother has been like living here for the past few years and like, dude, now he's like moving out. And I have to say goodbye to a place that I've spl� John more than any other girl. And then we see clips of Jeremy living in this house kind of and he's telling Billy Lee, who I guess lives in that building, I didn't know.

But he's telling, where Billy Lee? So he's telling, I miss the drama of Billy Lee just being like, I was set in section five and I really wanted to be set in section four. How could you do this to me? This is not cool, you guys. What's wrong with that girl? Loved her. So I guess Billy came back and did a scene for this year because he's sitting on the couch with her. And I think they were bonin' for a while, right? Jeremy and Billy Lee. So he's like, we're neighbors now, huh?

And she's like, I know I'm so excited. And he, oh my god, you heard me. Why did you hurt me like that? Yeah, Jeremy, Billy Lee, great additions. So shorts is like... shorts is like... Oh man, dude, because he comes over and he's like, look at this place, it's empty.

Oh man, I missed the sheet we had here. It was Jack's room. Oh man, I just love, I missed the way this carpet crunches when you walk on it. Yeah. Literally gross. Do you remember them talking about that apartment? They were all living there when they were like 16 and ran away from home or whatever the fuck on this show, okay? They were all living there. They met on Craig's list. Jack's was fucking like three people a day that he was meeting like modeling class or whatever. And there was like only your seat.

And you guys wonder, you see, they stick up for each other for life these days. It's true. It's true. Unless one gets offered a show on peacock to talk to you about the other two. And possibly a social media job for a team, a hockey team. So then they're like, oh my god. Oh, does the microwave still shut off the circuit breaker when the air conditioner is on?

I'm like, wow, he has really deprived of entertainment. Yeah. And Tom Sandin was like, dude, this apartment literally made me the man I am today. Burn it down, burn it down. So there's never been vocal lessons in this apartment as well, you're saying. There were no dogs in the neighborhood to howl

and let you know how painful your voice is while you were in this apartment. This apartment complained about not being stalked with batteries and paper towels, apparently. So he's like, I love every moment in this house. This apartment complained about not being stocked with batteries and paper towels, apparently. So he's like, I love every moment in this house, well. And then it cuts to like Tom Sandeval memories of like shaving his forehead.

Yeah. Don't do that. It apparently doesn't age you well. And I fell for it back in the day. I was shaving my damn forehead every day. Are you saying a beauty tip that was pioneered by Caroline Manzo is not really one reason to be following? Damn it, I feel so robbed.

So yeah, they're like all these flashbacks to like partying and drinking, contracting black lung from the mold. Right, black mold disease. Black mold lung. And the scene with Stasi, which I can't believe Stasi ever set foot in this apartment. I know. Like even seeing the flashback, I'm like, no, Stasi, no.

Yes, not even you. And they've shown this clip like 12 times in the past month. Yeah. They just keep on bringing it out. Three, okay, three years ago, Ari on an eye made out in the swimming pool of the Golden Nugget. Okay, okay. She's like, the Golden Nugget. The Golden Nugget gross.

Gross. So then shorts finds like a beer bomb. He's like, oh, a beer bomb. And it's like dusty and moldy. And has like rat feces in it. And he's like, let's shot. has like rat feces in it and he's like Let's shot let's do beer bomb now guys You're like and he does it and Arianna's like oh my god. This is disgusting. How did I live here?

And then like true Vanderpump rules gas members are like okay guys. Let's move stuff out. I'll take this water bottle Okay, so we'll just leave the trash to come rags and all the furniture. Okay, let's go. It's like tross a match behind him. They're wondering why Jeremy didn't take the sofa out. That's because no one takes more than a water bottle out of any of these places.

I'm like, all mad. Nobody takes anything out of more than a water bottle out. So the producers are like, so Elise Vandeprom, was one of the funniest scenes that didn't make it onto the show. And she's like, oh, wow. I think it must have been recalibugi boarding at that thing that she ate stout of and then left sobbing in the bathroom.

Well, that was on the internet. Oh, all right. I know the funniest thing that didn't air. When Kyle Richards tried to make Fedora's a thing, oh, I just laugh and laugh and laugh. The scene that didn't make it in was when Kyle Richards was on the set of Halloween. And Michael couldn't catch her squirrely little ass The scene that didn't make it in was when Kyle Richards was on the set of Halloween and...

Michael couldn't catch her squirrely little ass, so he threw a brick at her face instead and she had to wear nose cast for a few weeks. Ah, so many belly laughs. Good bar call. So, she's like, well, I think it was the Daily Mail party. Which every time they say Daily Mail party, I'm like, you paying people off. You suspicious ass. So she's like, we're kind of had broken up with Peter there. But because he was drunk or had forgotten it, he asked for a counter break up with him again. Peter, this is why you're a not full time.

This is why you're not. This is. And he is not too stupid to remember. He's pulling a Whitney Rose where he's like, you know what? I should've said more in that scene. This is why you're not. This is. And he is not too stupid to remember it. He's pulling a Whitney Rose where he's like, you know what? I should have said more in that scene. So let's do that scene again.

We take that from the top. From the top. So. So there's like three people in Sir and James in the corner being like, boom, DD! Imagine first. As you know, I imagine that people here,

and Peter goes up and he's like, oh, hey James, how's it going? Hey, I gotta ask you something. Do you run to mommy for everything? Just got burned, got Peter, got Peter. It just looks at him like, the diapers dripping old man. The diapers dripping poopy face So then we see a clip of Peter to Vanderpomp and he's like oh, I'm just curious this whole whole Rukhels situation

Who exactly told you about that? who exactly told you about that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha party and he's like, you know who that stupid fat man with a ponytail in your restaurant? He's dating Rick Hale's stupid fat man who loves boogie board carrying all lady pageant goers. You've got Marlon Brando body late stage over there. Hitting on my girlfriend. Right, she's not dating Peter. She is Lisa. He is dating her.

And then Ali is beside him helping. They just make out when they're drunk. So then James, James is still a DJ. He's acting like he's really busy, doesn't have time for a peater. And he's like, you know what? She's not even into you bro. Okay, she told me a million times. She's not the anti-gay stupid face.

She told me she's gonna break your heart. Like, oh my god, I'm gonna break his heart. Okay,. Okay then like why is she like I don't know okay I got my own girlfriend we just met yesterday and we were in love okay so don't care about your relationship. So then we go I guess the fridge was taken because they usually like to shoot this right next to the squirrel machine in front of that refrigerator. But instead, they're buying a espresso machine, which I don't believe even works. That's a cure-aggressed one if I've ever seen one.

Okay. So, Raquel comes in and Peter is like waiting there by the coffee machine. He's like, hey Raquel, you good? Ha ha ha. Like, yeah, I'm good. Can we have a minute? How can we have just a minute?

Just a minute to talk. She's like, OK, so they go to the smoking alley. And he's like, oh, so I guess just to get to started, I don't really remember what happened the other night. And she's like, she's like, you don't really remember what happened the other night. She's like, she's like, you don't. He's so excited to finally, after 10 years, have a scene in the back alley of Sir. He's like, everyone is quit or left the show,

I can finally do it. He's trying so hard, and you know what this guy's been on this show 10 years, and he's like, 10 years. That's how long cheers was on. This is my norm season. Like I'm going to come on and I'm going to norm it. People are going to know me by the end of this season, and he just keeps failing. I mean, failing so bad that even Rachella's laughing in your face.

Yeah, even Rachella is. Rachella is nice to the crosswalk guy. You know, like the little light. She's like, I feel like waves back to it when he's like, stop, she's like... Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpack moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us.

Stream and just like that season 2, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the right is room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. So, she's like, um, are you telling me that you blacked out? So like, you want me to tell you again? Is that what you're saying? He's like, oh, yeah, sure. She's like, okay, well, I just came to the conclusion that I just feel like I don't see our dating situation

anywhere in the future. Oh, and she no wanted me to tell you you don't have access to preferred club for members. He's like, uh, okay. But my problem is why was Kennedy the one telling me, right? Well, because first of all, you went up to the pizza oven to start a fight with Kennedy for no reason. You dumbed down.

And she's like, uh, he goes, yeah, well, why is Kennedy telling me like you were never into me and that you're gonna break my heart? And she's like, okay, well, why is Kennedy telling me, like, you were never into me and that you're gonna break my heart and she's like Okay, well if I did say that it was because he's like, yeah, okay cool. Okay cool All right, so Just to get this started I Don't remember anything that just happened right? He just starts it all over again.

Yeah, so I'm just glad we're on the same page. And by the way, you never did get those notches you wanted. Maybe you want to go on a date tonight. Just like, no, stop. He's just a badly programmed, like, first edition Westworld robot. Like, welcome to the solve. Oh, it's me again, your sage guide, through these wonderful secrets that Hurtubi revealed. I think it's a shame that Sheena and Katie aren't friends at all. they've been through so much together. Holter tops, ranch dressing.

Just those two things really. I mean, they've been married. Well, they've married ketchup bottles at the same time. Here it's back when we were legally allowed to tape napkins to young girls as their uniforms. Every time they sew a clip from back then I'm like oh my god me too and I don't even work there. What are you doing to these girls? By the way we haven't seen 90% of them ever again

just reminding you. So she knows so at least says like she knows guilty of instigating but why is recalcit sitting at the table who actually awful to make out with shorts Go figure go to the clip So then we got a shame out the one in high everybody walk into the fire dancers are not wanting Hi everybody walk into the water drums in my wedding Like oh my god those drums have water on them. Ha! You know what's amazing about a drum?

It has no corner! So it's July 28th, and it's four days before Katie's big girl's trip. And so the ladies are all going out to the club. Where Charlie actually works on her side gig. Oh, is that what this was? I could not figure out what this was. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It was a club. I can see how it could be mistaken. Forstand of all living room after it puts up all the LED lights. But someone's like, oh, rooting for the LED lights. Don't do that to the LED lights. So Charlie comes up and they're like, oh, Charlie, you look good.

You look good. You're like, thanks. You guys look good too. No, but you look really good look good. You look good. You're like, thanks. You guys look good too No, but you look really good. Thanks. You look good too. You look so good. You look awesome. What what does happen here? Ronnie is struggling with the chair. I keep putting my ankle under the chair thing and then it gets stuck in the chair thing I'm sorry. It's a secret that's been revealed. All this time you thought his feet weren't in the chair, but they were It's a secret that's been revealed. Ooh! All this time you thought his feet weren't in the chair, but they were.

Well, guys, that's how I feel about Katie. I've been following her on a CKD like a million times, and she's still like mad at me, and if she wants to see me in this light, she's not going to see me in any other way, so there's like literally nothing I can do about it. If I ask her in Vegas, are you okay with me like hooking work out with your ox? I was wondering you say okay, what am I supposed to do? I mean you basically just turned him into like a taco one of my stuff Well, I like a shina non-enchalada night, okay? It's enchalada night. So I pass on the enchaladas. That's that Yeah, bitch, but I probably wouldn't have put shorts into Raquel into making out with each other's, you know, because like, but why is it that like, she is not coming to this, but

Raquel who's actually tried to make out with shorts is coming to the girls' trip. I don't understand that. And, um, Lala goes, you've got your laser trained on the wrong batch. Sorry, Rick Howe. This is Rick Howe sitting right there. And Rick Howe's like, yeah, I was really prepared, like, for her to uninvite me from that trip. But then she didn't.

So I'm going to go on it. Hi. Like, stop staring at the street, Rick Howal, we're trying to film a scene. Well now I have to like redo all my seating arrangements at my wedding. So Katie shows up and she's wearing like a white, is that like a shirt dress? Is that what is that what that's called? It's a white thing. And so but notably it's the same thing that Shuna wears on her podcast cover art. She mavagans maaah! It's like, wow, I'm really so sad that Katie had to wear the same outfit that I wore on the post-warf

She mavagans maaah! The man dress looks from all yaw. But I do think I want better. So she's just giving angry eyes to Katie for stealing her look. So, Charlie's like, scoot your couch. I've got a five-minute break said Did you ask Rick Cal about the Tom Schwartz situation do something here? What do I have to start every fucking thing? I'm making five dollars a season. Can you bitches please do something? Thank you. You bitches better start talking shit otherwise this scene's gonna wind up on secrets revealed, okay?

And shit, otherwise this scene's gonna wind up on secrets revealed, okay? So Katie's like, okay guys, well here's what's different about this situation. Like it's hard because Raquel crossed the line, but she apologized to me and groveled. And Raquel also doesn't know me as well as Sheena does. Raquel also like has sat and like now listened to me and has like absorbed how I feel about the situation whereas she not fucked Eddie Sibrayon a married man and then came out with a painful song audio-ly. Okay, she will remember. Now I have a question.

What did Charlie say here? Did she say sometimes Raquel is like a cardboard? Yeah, she said sometimes she said she's sometimes like cardboard, you know, Womp Womp. The cardboard lobby of America is like, excuse me. Well, Lord knows they're recycling her enough on this show. Oh, yeah, that's true. I feel like she should get five cents every time she shows up for a dating scene with another

fucking loser on this show. We need something for the terrible, unmatchable men on this show. Bring Rikail out, roll Rikail out. Speaking of which, Lala then is like, so what are you guys talking about? And she's like, oh, we were just talking about the guy guy that Raquel was talking to, like goes down on her like really well. And always does like a cover song from the 80s while he does it. He really loves that band Lips Incorporated. Mmm.

So Lala's like, it's his name, it's his name Schwartz, getting. So when I have facts, I have to be on tops because I have to do the rubbing or I'm not going to get off. And then, Ariane. If I'm not on top, I won't be able to squirt all over the dawn. And Ariane is like, um, guys, I don't come from penetration unless it's penetration in the butt.

I come from that. I was like, wow. Happy Pride. I mean, because you know this whole episode was the editor. It's like, guys, we have no footage of Ariana this season, OK? We've literally got footage of Ariana in a U-Haul going to pick up a couch from a thrift store with Tom We've got to put in something The sound guys like I seem to remember she said dude. She did anal at one point. Okay. Yeah

I'm put it in get that in the scene around it. Get it in build a scene around it So now they're talking about have a sue and Katie's like, Charlie, we're good girlfriends, right? Why don't you come to Lake Havasu? It's gonna be an amazing girls trip. We've got a lip balm sign on coming. There's a pontoon.

Fronions. Or fungans. Lala, Lala's coming. And she was like, oh my god, I cannot believe that Katie is talking about a girl trip right in front of me and not even inviting me while she's wearing in my same outfit from my shenanigans poster. And also, I love Charlie's reaction.

Like, oh, I finally get invited to a cast trip. And this is what it is. She goes, um, have a suit with white trash. Like, she goes, way white trash. It's real white trash. So, seeing this like, um, so I noticed a trip and I know I'm not invited on the trip and that's fine because we're like not in that place. But like, you know, it's like, it's long as we can have nights like this where like you

come out and like, my best of outfits, like, I'm best of outfits? Like I'm totally fine with Katie. I'm totally fine with that. Katie's like that's why I'm here. If I didn't think it was possible, I wouldn't be here. Also, productions that I had to be here too. So, Katie's like if Sheena would just own what she's done and apologize for her words, well first I die of shot because it's Shina So Shina's like okay while Cheers to moving forward and to more knockoffs of clothes I wore first, okay? Oh, and here's to blame me the woman for your man not respecting your boundaries

The producers back it's like so Lisa Vanderpom, did you ever suspect that San of all and Raquel would become an item? Never! How could I suspect it? Now we know why San of all stuck up for Raquel so much. Turns out he was in more than just a corner. Get it! Landed it. Slip made that one. I'm suggesting he was in earth a-gina. The vagina with a V in a V is sort of like a corner. A little vaginal penetration.

So she is like literally the emoji of the lady doing her lipsticks. She's like, I know of the lady doing her lipstick. She's like, I know, she's doing so much cat-tits. So, Tom and Arianna's house and ballet-balledge. So, Maya the dog is there. And Maya the dog knows everything. Maya knows. Maya knows.

That dog, every time they cut to that dog, Maya's like, fucking cheating asshole. Because by the way, this scene takes place. It seems like right after Guy's Night, and we all have learned that Guy's Night was when they first, at least admitted to having sex, right? So this is the day after they had sex, and Santa Claus walk around and he goes,

boom, I missed you last night, but technically it was supposed to be a Guy's Night. You were fucking Recal, and you're saying you last night, but technically it was supposed to be a guys night. You were fucking Rekele, and you're saying you missed it, Ariana? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it gets worse. Rekele comes in with flowers for Ariana.

I know. Yeah. You know, you know, so after the reunion last week, after the reunion last week, where Ariana just like went in on Rattell, there was like a whole wave of people that were like, you know what, you know what, you know what,

Ariana, you know what, that was mean, and she didn't deserve that, and that wasn't nice. And you know what, I'm not team Ariana before. Please watch this episode, please. So she hugs her and Tom stand up. I was like, whoa, good to see you amazing, to see you. He's like doing the leot like that intense. Well, it's only his top teeth now.

So for some reason, you noticed that? Yes, it's like most dislike from the Simpsons. Which oddly enough, I know he doesn't really look like him, but I feel my face when I do it, Yes, it's like most Zizlac from The Simpsons. Which oddly enough, I know he doesn't really look like him, but I feel my face when I do it, and it's the same face as Louis from Real Housewives. And... And do time. Well, Louis knows what really happened this relationship

because, you know, I sent Bo-Deedle to watch him. Bo-Deedle saw it all. But I was like, I did Bo-dle to watch him. Bodiddle saw it all. I was like, I did Bodiddle. So then, Sandibos, like, wow, Rikal has been so long, dude. And she's like, yeah, I know. And then we cut to 10 hours before, Tom Nurkel, way too close to each other, talking it's Saddle Ranch. Yeah, and they're like, Saddle Ranch is right on the sunset strip.

It's like a tourist place, but it's also, like sometimes paps are there, it's where you want to go to get caught. You know what I mean? That's the kind of place you go when you want to get caught. It's got such a fucking thing. It's like Trishel from the real world used to work there.

So. And that's. Yeah. There's kind of a weird thing because. And we're like, oh God. No, that's so much worse than we thought. That finally explained it. I'm like, guys, this is where you get caught. We don't care.

Like, your shell worked there. Oh, my God. Disgusting. Disgusting. Burn it down. Burn it down. Uh, so I think two things are weird. One, she's bringing flowers to Ariana

after she did something wrong as if she's the husband who fucked up, right? That's weird. Which lens credence to her? I was just hoping for a thrupe. Yeah, that's what's so. I was hoping. I thought that was kind of a joke when she said,

or not a joke, but like an excuse. And I was like, maybe she was angling for Ariana. I think she was. But then again that might be just me projecting taste onto this woman and she doesn't deserve that. Yeah. The second is that Tom Santa Valka's I'm gonna make you both dumpling lattes die in a fire. How dare you fucking. Yeah. Dumpling lattes Which I which I really did think was double lattes, but it really is dumpling lattes. Yeah, so then Arianna's like okay well because Charlie like I'm really sad you weren't in like white trash paradise like have a snooze with Katie and fucking the lip balm lady, okay?

Katie and fucking the lip balm lady, okay? And Ariana is like, well, fill me in on what happened. So, Rekelv gives her the gosh, she's like, well, first we went to dinner at Vanderpump Paris and then all of our waiter came out and bought us drinks and then Lala mentioned that he has the cutest smile ever and then he met up with us. And like we both had a very engaging conversation. I said, I like wedges.

And Lala said she has a baby. And only once a man, he wants to raise her baby. I was like, This trip sucks more than I thought. Yeah. So she says that like, you know, she made out with Oliver on the dance floor, because you know Oliver is like, hey ladies, good welcome to the Vanderbomb-Opery, I'm Oliver, who wants

to make out with me. And Brickell was like, yeah, it was nice, it was like a little moment. And Ariana was like, oh, I'm so glad, you know, I'm really glad you made out with someone. And it cuts to the dog, being like, bitch. You don't know what she did last night. It's normal for a dog to sniff your crotch, but always look at the face after. Because Maya was like, mm-hmm.

So, Rickel's like, yeah. And then all of a sudden, the girls were like, we need to talk Raquel. We don't approve of your actions lately. And then Lala goes, honestly, Raquel, I don't feel comfortable having you around my man. And then I was like, well, it's a thing good. You don't man a half. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

She turns into Yoda. Ariana's like, good one. So Charlie's like, yeah. And the thing is, Lala's embarrassed now, because her life didn't pan out, and she fucked the wrong guy for money. And now she didn't get anything out of it. So, ha ha, like, it's OK.

We're going to keep going. Let's keep it moving. Charlie is savage. Charlie, this is my favorite version of Charlie. When she first came on, Charlie was super savage. And then she became a full-fledged cast member. So she tried to, I think, maybe soften up and show more dimension and didn't really work.

So now she's just being back to being savage, which is really how she should be. We love this for you, Charlie. Do this is good. So a lot of people who have under-fives on this show, they just come in and they're like, I'm gonna say my five, you know, I'm gonna get my money and I'm just gonna go home,

I'm gonna be nice and leave a good impression. Charlie's like, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Oh my God, you're ugly. Okay, bye. Be funnier, who wants a drink? So the producer, now we're back to Lisa, the producer's like, so hypothetically, you were being cheated on and someone took you

on a roller skating date. If that happened, to put into the effort into that relationship they had already stepped out on, how pissed would you be Lisa Vanderpump? Oh, well, I'd have his bowls crystallized and wear them as earrings, and then I'd take off his wig and put them on my current husband. Oh, look at these gorgeous rods stewed bowl earrings. That's amazing.

So, now we go to a roller skating scene. This is a cringey one. This is a cringey secret that's revealed everyone. Everyone in trigger warnings. Cringiness ahead. Big cringe. Big cringe energy. It's the cringe.

I don't, you know, I feel like there are certain things like looking back to like, how did we not know? But when your boyfriend shows up in iron liner and white nail polish to take you roller skating on sunset Boulevard next to Saddle Ranch. Yeah. He's fucking other people. Yeah. At the very least, he's fucking himself so much

he doesn't care about you. Either way, he's not into you, you know? Sir, Ariana's like, oh, this is really cute. We're actually going on a real date. Like, it's been so long. He's like, I know. My flashlight hasn't worked in forever because there's no batteries.

Yeah, like it feels like I'm always edgeward in zombies. Which we learned he's never been at. He's been to like two times. Yes. So they're roller skating and Ariana tells us, you know, I think that like, this is really hard. She goes, I think Tom and I have the kind of bond that we start out as friends, that friendship bond, something that will help us be able to come back and rebuild those fun romantic times. Now that we hopefully have more time together, I think those sacrifices, I think they're worth it. I want him to have success in opening the bar, but I also miss being able to be really

together. Yeah, so he's like, oh my God, you look so hot, bro. It's like crazy. Like you have this mixture of hot and best friends and dumpling latte and like ice water. It's crazy. And then he wipes out in all of America's years. She's like, thanks. Well, last night with the girls, I

was like having a pool party Friday, and they were like, who's invited? And I was like, I'm inviting everybody because no matter how much you want me to like, or hate, or kill, I'm not going to do it. She's like the sweetest thing that's ever happened. When she was over, she brought me flowers and you made me dumpling latte.

I stuck her finger in it and stirred it around and it was the sweetest coffee I've ever had. The woman is literally a saint. Like, I literally want to go find orphans on the side of the road just so she could raise them in Central America. She's amazing. She even texted me and said,

hey, by the way, when you go skating today, I can come along and if Sandevol falls over, I can catch them if you want. Oh. So sweet what she offers. So then she's like, yeah, and then saying things like, I wouldn't trust your Kell of Round My Man. I don't like them saying that stuff to her

and we get a UTS. and Sandeval literally goes, oh. Is one of his eyebrows hits the top of the days of our lives, brows, like, hmm, sorry, I have to do it with my finger, because I'm both talks. Oh. So, Arianna, I've just learned to use my hands, okay?

Medically, I can't do that anymore, so here's what it would look like. So, Arianna's like, yeah, that sucks, and I just think maybe you don't have that kind of, like, family-type friendship that we have. Oh, it's awkward. And Sandivall's like, yeah, he's like, I mean, dude, it's that transparent love that like yeah he's like I mean dude. It's that like transparent

love that we have that's like so special and Ariane I was like yeah everyone else you know everyone helps each other out yeah a lot everyone's always you know what I like about our family type friendship everyone's always willing to give a hand you know. So then we get another song and this is more this is more evidence that Katie wrote all the songs tonight. I get dressed up you get dressed down I put clothes on you take them off the ground. It's like if that doesn't sum up that marriage. Yeah. So it's shorts going on a date his first date or public date It's first public date. This is totally not staged with some random over

I don't even think they called central casting for this. I think they straight up called like what's the one where you call Call for work like zipper cruder they call zipper cruder They were like give us an adorable perky receptionist They were like, give us an adorable, perky receptionist. They just put up a net by UCLA and waited for someone to walk into it. They're like, gawtah! Send it to the band-a month. It's just adorable, girl. She's like, hi! And she's wearing a Laura Ashley floral dress. She was not intainted by LA yet.

No. All her facial features are intact. Yes. So she walks in and she walks like, oh, Kendall, 10 out of 10 entrance. Oh, wow. I haven't been on a date with anyone in Katie. In like 12-year bullshit, you've been fucking people around up behind Katie's back for years. What's the difference?

You have to learn this one's name first, please. So the waiter comes by or waitress and I was like, oh, what do you want to drink? And Kendall's like, I think I'll just have like a wetter. And he's like, I'll have like a shot of tequila and a light beer. I'm like, bro, read the room of your date a little bit, okay? And he's like, I've never met anyone online before.

It's really scary. So it gets new for me too. Don't worry, could you hold for a second? We'll be right with you. We're at lunch hour. Okay, I'm gonna start you through to voicemail. Thank you. I'm back.

So she gets like her Rona and Shorthair. Oh, it's okay. We don't have to get drunk. I mean, I'm already about five beers deep, to be honest. But, no, thanks for coming and joining me on a date. Wow. It's just like wild. This is wild.

I can't believe my cast member on this TV. She's like, no, no, no, not so fast. Not so fast. So she asks the date. She comes up with the only date question. I mean, here's mine. What are your STDs? How many people you fucked this week?

Do I know any of them? So I'm a who you follow on Instagram. I need to see your Spotify playlists. Something, but she's like, what are you excited about this year? Oh, fuck off. A kind of question is that. Pizza, that we fall TV. Like, what do you want me to say?

I know. She's like a college admissions counselor. So we find out she lives in Brentwood and he lives in the valley. And I don't know if anyone's been to, I mean, this is not gonna work out This is just it's terrible. It's not gonna work It's like saying you live in downtown Columbus and you just met someone who's like literally in Los Angeles

So he's like okay, well, you know, that's a really great question. Thank you for asking me But you know no stop stories. I got divorced a while ago from a really horrible question. Thank you for asking me. But no stop stories. I got divorced a while ago from a really horrible person who's super, super mean to me. It's like having sex with people right in front of my face and my living room probably. But, you know, OK, it's not about me. It's about a guy.

His name is John Tom. So John Tom goes to a good friend's wedding in Mexico and he's in the preferred area and he's spent a voice from this horrible heck of a woman who's probably having sex and is living her. I'm sorry, did I already say that? Yeah, I'm meant to. Okay, so first he goes, he swims in a river and then he goes and he makes that with a girl and his ex-wife who's really mean and she has fire in her eyes

and she won't shade the armpits of anyone. She defecised the de-friend him because of that kiss and the guy didn't do it out of spite. He did it because he's a cute little boy. And then so what? He slept up a little bit at this wedding and he kissed the only girl he's ever seen high five across walks side. And now the horrible awful lady won't talk to him anymore. What do you think about John Tom? She goes, um, well, I think John's human and a disgusting human at that, yes. And this girl's not going to work out because she says, oh my God, you're just human and

you can't use that line because you know that he uses that line every time he cheats you, so I'm just human. Don't help him. So then they walk out holding hands going, like there's literally nowhere else around there, right? They literally walked down Lossianna go to like the closed mall. They're like, all right, let's go Lossianna to like the closed mall. They're like, all right, let's go to the Beverly Center

at 10 p.m. Literally walking towards the Baja Fresh. I was like, there's nothing over there. It's a Verizon store, they got in minutes. Yeah. Oh, let's look in the Verizon store through the windows and pretend we're street urchins. I'm just a boy, a boy in a raw stress for less.

I'm just kidding, I'm a great girl. I love a good data plan. So yeah, I wrote that down too. I thought there were holding hands walking down La Sianna God. Truly the least romantic street in all of Los Angeles. Well, I was never suspicious

of Trump's sandal ball and Raquel making love. But others were. And then it cuts to Christina going, dinner's on me tonight, guys. Yeah, the girls are walking into a certain, it's like 3 p.m. and James is by the DJ's stand, be like, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, just got back from Imagine Fest,

so many facts, lots of, yes, wiggie, wiggie. So they're trying to make small talk. And Christina's like, are you going to have a little cock tail? Huh? And Molly's like, step cock? Yeah, I'm going to have a step-bucking cock, sit right on that back of the day. Oh, my god, this is the small talk, right?

Yeah, so then. Christina just downloaded some freeware that would make her a cool, she's like, cock, tail, and here's the fist bump for you James. You can see that Christina tried to fist bump James, he's like, what is this woman doing to me right now?

Scary right now, get on my face. That's how you pass on the ball, dumb from person to person, boom, got it, got it. I'm a ball, did you know? So Vanderpump comes over. This is her annual. I'm just one of the girls.

Ha ha ha. Hey girls, it's me, Lisa Vanderpump. Don't you wish we were still doing bikini shoots for calendars every year for sir? Oh, it's just me sitting here casually having a... I don't know, what should I drink today? Oh, I know, maybe some should I drink today. Oh I know maybe some van der Bump Schadenee ranked number one Schadenee in all the world in Ken

Dard wine Spectre magazine. I'd love a glass of stem cells I mean Schadenee as soon as you can darling. Okay by the one, did I say next time I come in I would try something, but I have to try the french fries there new So you see Concept will you take a potato and you slice it and then you slice it again and you fry it and you play French music And you get french fries And some pennies back there like yeah, and they get French fries. And some pennies back there like, yeah, they're sexy because they're phallic like a dick.

First, the potatoes like a big dick, then you slice in a bunch of little dicks, and you got a bunch of dicks, and you watch people eat them. Oh, what's a sexy menu, Chef Finney? I've come up with something revolutionary for these French fries. You take some sugar, some vinegar, and some tomatoes and you mix it together. And you have something you call ketchup. Exclusive, that's her.

So Lisa's like literally giving zero effort towards these restaurants anymore She only cares about Vegas like so she's closed the other ones and at this point she's like we're trying new things Francher fries are so she like literally doesn't care So she's like girls You know we have to try everything but it's almost impossible because the menu takes weeks or in some cases, yes! Get it! And then we see a montage of all the failed food, experiments at shorts and sand. He's like, anyone want some Peruvian ceviche?

Anyone? Dude, bugles filled with puppy chow, anyone? So then Katie is like, by the way, Lisa, what was up the other day at your house with Ken coming into the tea party and then spilling all the tea and Ken's like, I can't believe the Ken state in all the songs that I saw earlier on. I should have done that, but I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have honest answer. I just want to do that. Step on that cash. I just want to do that.

I just want to do that. Step on that cash. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. Step on that cash. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. Step on that cash.

I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that.

I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. I just want to do that. She's my friend and I'm like, okay, but is here friend too? And she's like, and so Lala's like, okay, let me get the straights. Ariana's grandmother dies, and he sweatswear counts all day long. Everyone's like, yeah, yeah. Ariana was calling him Fioras, and he was like, okay, yeah. Ariana was calling him, you're ass. And he was like, okay, I'll come home.

And then he stayed for two more hours. At the time you got that close and you're drinking, sometimes things happen. So we get that. And then everyone just stare at each other. Everyone's like, cool, can we have more of these for our eyes, thanks. Yeah. So then we go over to Maker's Mess. It's called, oh my god.

Which is really a perfect name for everything happening on this show right now, Maker's Mess. So this is a crafting place, probably Marina Del Rey, because she knows that's really far, by the way, from the set of the show. But that's where she's in Syson living. And that's why she is in nobody's scenes because No one is driving to Marina Del Rey, but dumbass for Cal well, you know, so

She walks into this crafting space in the way that only she knew wood, which is like, oh my god This is like a cute little area. I see rainbow Oh my god, makers best pride! Oh my God, make her the best pride. Oh my God, grandma's! And then she walks in and she has, can you go? No! It's like when your rug gets caught in your vacuum

cleaner for a moment. Oh! You're like, oh, thank God. It's like Chubaka getting like government stuck in his ankle. He's like, oh, thank you. It's like Chewbacca getting like government stuck in his ankle. He's like, Rukin! Ah!

The lady working there is checking for a fax machine. Do we get a fax? And she's standing up. I'm not a crafty person. Ooh, it's a lot more. Unless it's enchilados. In a rich case, enchilados are kind of my thing. And then the girl says the motto of working at Sir,

which is, you don't have to have any skills whatsoever. It's like the sand of all and the most extras of jewelry classes. So they're going to make necklace and earrings and so they start gossiping and she's like, oh my god, it tell me what happened yesterday. Where were you late to the menu tasting of only two

waiters that they asked to taste every new menu item at Sir? Do you know? Totally believable storyline. The only opinions I cared about, Lisa Vanderpump's, Rick L's and Charlie's. Yeah. Sir Rick L's like, oh my gosh, I'm so embarrassed.

The Tom's and I carpooled together and when we got back, I was like, let's go to the Jakuzzi. And we got back, I was like let's go to the Jakuzzi and I was like already wearing my bathing suit so we hopped in and we're like drinking and then I went to the social media room, LOL there's a social media room and we went to downstairs and I passed out and then Santa Claus was like why don't you go to the guest room which is where I went to when I was alone on the guest room, totally by myself, worse than I. Yep, got it, got it, got it. Yeah, I'm trying to make you sound like a slut is a riddle,

kill us. I like that you see, and it's just like, we're going to go to that place with a rainbow in the window, and we are going to vindicate you. Yeah. So Rick was like, I didn't put a move on Shor's, and nothing of the sort happened, and happened between sand and ball and I either. And then the editors put in this like,

ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. My other dog just shows up in the crafting place and is like, this bitch is lying. Yeah. This bitch is lying and she's making bad ear rings. Wacky 80s detective music is what I wrote. So she's like, yeah, and we had a fun night as best friends and I overslept and she was like, okay, well, okay,

glad you got that out on national television because that is true and we totally all believed you're not a slut. So Brock was playing basketball with the guys here yesterday and they both said that you didn't stay over. So that's like a weird, like, why would they lie about that?

And then we see a clip of it and Brock's like, so boys. Brock does that thing like where he wants to look more intelligent so he puts glasses on. He's like, got boys. All right. Oh, did Rick have a stale reawas and did she go, oh, boys. That sounds like, oh.

Because yeah, yeah. That's Santa Claus. Santa Claus, like, aw. Because, yeah. Yeah. That's his answer. Yeah. Yeah. Dipped. Did you dipped? I put my hand up on her dip.

When she dipped, I dipped, we dipped. So short, she's like, well, we had a little slumber party. And Santa Claus, like, dude, dude, dude. And rocks like, say that she's saying or not, you can't lower your pace with glasses on. All right. And then Santa Vollen shorts both like, mm, yeah, no, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no No, not the coin dogs. Not the coin dogs. No. Lots of coin dogs. Yeah. So then Rickel's like, I guess, and I should have stayed

that I didn't stay over. And she was like, no, I'm not saying that you should have lied. I'm saying, why did they lie? Because they shouldn't have lied. Because now it looks like something's going on. Because like, why are they lying? What happened?

And then we get whatever things get fishy on this show. They start playing like Peter and the Wolf music. Like, everybody gets their own instrument. So she and I get the clarity that this show, they start playing like Peter in the Wolf music, like everybody gets their own instrument. So she and I get the clarity that, like, curious Sheena, it's like, B-b-b. And Raquel goes, to paint a picture that I'm some home wrecking whore is a little far afresh. Cut to 17 weeks later.

The reason why Tom wanted to lie about it is because it's a really bad look to hook up with someone's boyfriend in their own house when they've gone out of town, especially when they went out of town for a funeral. Yeah, they're making me look like a home-breaking horror, and I don't appreciate that.

Oh. Uh. So, she was like, well, I was see OG, home-breaking horror of this group, and then Kim Balah, and now here you are. I'm gonna get laughs, I'm just like, it's a palcing of that throne. Kala!

Kala! Oh, welcome back to Storytime with Mama Pump. Ariana and I have always connected over our love of horseback riding, but I sustained an injury that was so devastating, I almost became a broken bird myself. I didn't think I'd ever want to ride again. And Ariana was who encouraged me to get back into the saddle road

that beautiful horse-been footage. B, I see it now. I see it now They're like hey guys don't forget that hey roll that beautiful bean footage and they're like It's like the real hot slice of Orange County hip remix. Yeah Yeah, they're like, I like what they're doing with the real house of Orange County. Let's do that with the bean footage. Bean footage. So, they go to the horse place because, you know, Ariana footage and it's really like, but she's like, Prince Tadon and the horse pops his head out and say, oh, I still love this horse.

I'd love to give him some carrots, even though it hurts my soul to see him. Because as I was saying, let's go for a ride, Tarton. He began to gallop and then he bucked and then he buckled. And then I went flying over the Tarton onto the ground. Wing under me, could I feel it? I felt my leg fractured, not only two plates, but shattered in seven. Tartan jumped over me, and Angel was above me saying,

come towards the light, come towards the light. Is this the correct Edison bull I've put into this light? And I said, oh, Nicolaine, I'm in heaven. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. Tardon and Tardon's looking at her like, I thought I took care of this bitch 18 months ago. Only bringing me fucking stick and fucking carrots. I want as Nickers barber growing out loud.

How many times do I need to beg you to brand me with an Elmer stamp and turn me into glue? No one else would keep me here. Do you have any broccoli at least every single time, carrots? So, Arianna's like, so I guess you're like traumatized, so like, should I do something to like, I'm traumatized you? I mean, I could like do a cartwheel

or I could like, twerk on the spot where you fell. I only come from anal. Darling! Darling! Darling! Oh, that didn't. That did it. It's like, Lisa's weird version of Inside Out is happening,

where the little emotions are putting balls at the shape of the Nickelane Pendulums into her brain. She's like, oh, cool, memory created. Ariana talking about anal in the dust patch where I fell off a horse. Thank you, thank you, Ariana. So then we move on to, when we picked up the cameras to capture the fallout of what went on between tall

and Ariana, there was just so much going on. We could have let it die, but VPR is not like that. We're the host, Zore. And it was all responsibility to tell us like, okay, I brought for Walters hiding under a bomb, the bus in Sarajevo. Okay, thanks. Wal, Walterette, concrete. Cronkite, whatever. It's our duty. In this era of misinformation, we had to tell the truth.

We hate lies on a show about waiters where no one has worked here for nine years. Like, when the world calls you, serve a best story about waiters fucking. So March 9th, 2023. And we see James and Ali walking and James like, did you see these bullshit apologies online? That bullshit is what

they are. I mean, first is Trump. He didn't even mention Erion and his apology, which is true. Do you remember his? Tom says like, Well, I guess everyone found out my penis got caught in the wrong place. I just like to say I'm sorry to all my business partners, especially the lobster corn dog, which really worked hard to have its day.

And I just kind of shit all over that one. So, yeah. I just want to say apologies to the artist in who spent three years making three by three starring. I think to hang over a table. Did a lot of work that I've ruined for you. Sorry to my waiter at Chili's. Couldn't finish that awesome, awesome thing, whatever.

But I tried, bro. I tried. Oh, no. I'm hurt. So James is like, I mean, I can tell, well, I mean, 1,000% were killed and not right that apology herself when she did her apology. And I'm not trying to be mean here.

I'm just trying to be a not fat, not slut person, you know what I'm saying? She doesn't have the brain capacity for that. She didn't even talk like that. And I was like, I'm there, obviously, together. And Ali's like, I'm there obviously together. And he's like, yeah, well, I don't care. They could have each other. All right, let's go into Meen Recadows' favorite place

and get our drink. I know. What was this place? This is the back place. It's the ski ball place. Yes, it's like they went back to ski ball place. So they get too prickly pads and start talking about all of this stuff.

And talk about how much she's in love with stuff and he's like, oh yes Sally, I've loved you for so long. It feels like we've been together for 10 years. She's like, alley. It's alley, it's alley, James. They're also doing that thing where they're trying to repair his image a little bit with the drinking thing

because at this time, what was airing on Vanderpump rules was James being like, I'm totally controlling with my drinking look, Lisa, I'm holding a plate of your head. So now she's like, isn't it funny how when we first are dating, we were both drinking so much and now we're not drinking anything ever, isn't that funny? Absolutely, I'm a good little boy and I'm not drinking anything. I'm a good little James candidate now, let's drink these five beers all at once, shall we? I'll have a prickly pear, please has fruit in it what a good little boy! So they're talking about sand of all obviously and he's going to miss the dog the most and Ali's like um Tom literally doesn't give a fuck about you like he hasn't even talked to you he

is not a real friend he's like I mean I can't even believe it. Stubbed me in the back. He's like, he judiced me. You know, judiced with the machine gun in the library. He's like, no. He no-one in the world, me. He got that whale. The whale came to sink this ship and sink the one-legged man. No.

It's not the same story of the Bible, James. That's not the way. It's like, you know, it's sand of all. You're 42, you're washed up, you're leaving a fucking beautiful home, beautiful girlfriend, which you threw away in the gutter for what? An airhead bimbo. Listen, Rickard is using you the way she used me. The upper doesn't fall too far from the tree, Santa Claus! So he's doing well. He's keeping it together. Yeah, he's totally chill.

He's totally chill about this whole thing. So then we go to the, this is last scene, right? The ladies in the bar hanging out. Katie's in flannel. I never know what it's last seen, because that's literally every note that Katie's in. Katie's in flannel. Allie comes.

And so they start talking about the photo on Instagram because they've all just found out the Ariana news. And Ally's like, oh my God, I saw that you guys all hung out on Instagram. How was it? Katie's like, well, I mean, she's about how you'd expect. No, the party. Was it fine?

Why don't you guys call me? I was trying to pretend to only drink one prickly pear with James. That was really awkward. It's a rough day over in my house. Guys, I just had to film three scenes pretending to still love this guy. Come on, you gotta help me out. So La La is like, well, I was hoping that the shots would be a bonding moment for a UKD in China, but it didn't work. And I was like, oh, are you in China good?

And Katie's like, hmm, I don't want to kill her so Yeah, they're speaking for now So then the girls arrive, right? And so Katie Lawla's there and she's like, hey So I'm gonna have like margaritas, but can you do that without like tequila? I'm like I was like, okay, and she go, no boots or I'm gonna burn this fucking place, sounds. Yeah, I'm still pushing my sober storyline. So, so Alice saying how like James has really hurt by a scandal of all, the whole scandal of all thing, he's really hurt, the biggest victim, James.

And Lala's like, to see your friend who can look you in your eye and know that he's been sleeping with her ex-fiance. Sases? That is like one of the worst things. That makes me anti-squirt. I retain water. Water comes into me. That was like an inward squirt. Like it literally hurt my throat out there.

It was like an eye squirt or crying as I call it. So, Ali's like, yeah, and the other night after Ariana found out we didn't know yet and Tom Sandeval was still texting James about it and we see the text in Sandeval. Like, bro, I hope your gig went really well, bro. So Ali's like, they all are like, that's so fucked up. Really? Wow, bro! So, Alice like, they're all like, that's so fucked up. And Alice like, I was definitely surprised that Tom and Raquel were able to keep it secret for so long. And my feelings were, holy shit, I don't trust anyone.

Anyway, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna keep dating James. Seems like everything's fine. Anyway, I'm gonna stay, I'm gonna keep dating James. Seems like everything's fine. Um, so that's pretty much it, right? They're like, I can't believe this could happen. I can't believe this could happen to, on Vander Prompt Rules, a slime ball piece of shit, man would cheat on a woman. It's literally never happened on this show.

And that's when they're like, yeah, but your friend to do it is worse than your boyfriend to do it to you. No, I think the boyfriends are worse. I still think they've got a sock, but I think he's worse. So then we get a little van der pump at the end of the day. All of these lovely, youngest people. All right, let's wrap this up with a moral. Don't shave your forehead, it's waste.

You look like Claire DuVol smashed with Martín and Navratilova. Some kind of a lesson here. All these little broken birds, they go through so much together, they laugh, they cry, they sleep with each other, they dodge giant pendulum in TomTom. But at the end of the day, they're all my sweet little broken birds, And I plan to exploit them for years to come. I'm not bringing us to the end of Thunderbomb Root. The secrets have been revealed. Thank you, everyone.

Thank you, guys. Don't forget to check it out. Thank you everyone. Thank you guys. Watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itch-o-s. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-os. Hava Nagila Weber. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Daniela. Itch-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. There ain't no problem that Sarah's Alvia can't solve you.

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We want to hang with Liz Lang! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Let's take off with Tim LePlan. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to watch our crap ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside.

And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows?

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app.